#because no way she was 3-4 in that flashback. I think I'd have forgotten a couple of days outside even in my 6-7s honestly

[savingthrcw]

points for my Steph:

[and listen, take this with a grain of salt because it might get deleted if someone confirms that Steph was also a Bud's Bud, but since the show doesn't say it, and the wiki is written by fans who are assuming it, I can feel for now it's safe to say that my version could also be a possibility: just like Janey, she was part of the Bud's Bud family and not an executive assistant herself]

one of the rare cases of 'full family in cryo', her mother is the one in charge and is a very sweet mom to her. Awoken at 9, family moves to 33 after the "famine" that kills so many people and Rose. Which makes her 28 now.

she's taught that those poor 32s and 33s can't know the truth about who 31s are because THEY (31 people) have to guide them, and tell them what's best for them, those naive sweethearts would not understand how dangerous life can be, so Steph knows she's there to guide and protect (and look at their reactions to the raiders attack! they do need help!)

she's told that China dropped the bombs, obviously. Why tell a kid anything else? They are there to save the future after all.

she sees Lucy as a rare exception who happens to have a good mind of her own, because she's the daughter of a 31 and clearly very bright, different from the 'let's reform the raiders!' type of 33s she knows, and she genuinely loves her. she feels a kinship with Norm because he also feels like a different specie from the rest of the Vault.

she asks for an inter-vault marriage to do her part, didn't expect to fall for Bert but she kinda does??

Chet is not someone she sees as a real person at this time, just a precious 33 to guide and use

She poisons the raiders; with Beth she discusses how they are too much of a danger and a waste of resources, but it's really revenge

no reason to tell her about Shady Sands, as far as she knows there was a famine before they woke up

she trains a lot because she knows there are people outside, survives the wedding for this very reason

to allow interaction: her baby (Bertha? lmao) is taken from her after they open the Vault to look for a water chip, which is a bit of a sole survivor situation there, and she asks her parents and Beth to warn whatever still existing Vault Tec is out there to keep their eyes open but SHE'S GOING OUT.

her ability to feel emotions and to relate to other people is greatly stunted by the situation and she will keep on poisoning and murdering to get her baby, even when innocents may get involved. She's not hurting Lucy unless Lucy is trying to kill her.

this is in part to give her a chance to interact with people AND not get her immediately murdered

[aftgficrec]

Hey! I love your page and getting fic recs! Do you have any fics where Neil goes or agrees to go to therapy? I’m good with Bee or someone else as the therapist too. It can be canon or an au. Thanks so much! :))

I was pleasantly surprised by how much we found for you! -A

previous recs:

‘another life to live’ here

‘Oakland’ here (completed)

‘you’ve been locked in here forever (and you just can’t say goodbye)’ here (updated)

‘If it means protecting you (I’ll pay my dues)’ here (updated)

‘Interlaced’ here (updated)

‘Regrowth,’ ‘To Be Close With You Is To Be Close With Myself,’ ‘I took a breath and took the knife,’ and ‘flashes of intimacy’ ch 4 here

‘call me in the afternoon’ here

‘The Wild Fox Den’ and ‘Roses Grow Between Bone’ here

‘(My Heart) Pierced By a Pin’ here (completed)

‘The Sun Still Rises’ here (updated)

‘day by day’ here

‘the shuffling of cards’ here

‘Ain’t it fun’ here

‘Breathe, idiot’ here

‘Healing’ series part 1 here, part 3 here (completed)

‘The Fear of Being Known’ here

‘That one party’ series and ‘keep telling me that it gets better (does it ever?)’ here

‘Affection can be shown in so many ways’ here

‘Ghost of You’ here 

‘Make This Leap (Geronimo)’ here

‘Tenuous’ here

‘There is Nothing You Can Say’ here (completed)

‘of ice blue eyes & twisted veins’ here

‘don't break the glass’ (completed) here

‘Bad Apple’ here 

‘Phantom Pains’ here

‘Therapy’ here

‘Birds of a Feather’ here (updated)

‘In which Neil had Aspergers and Andrew finds out.’ here 

‘For You I'd Bleed Myself Dry’ here (updated)

‘I Wanna Get Better’ here 

‘on the tip of my tongue (say something)’ parts 6 & 8 here

and more:

‘Ember’ here (completed)

‘leave the room (with a little dignity)’ here

‘Art Hoe’ here

‘Blame It On My Youth’ here (updated)

‘Black as is the Raven, He’ll Get a Partner’ (here)

‘Our body’ series, part 1 here, part 3 here, part 5 here

‘and all the roads will disappear’ here

‘crossed out’ here

‘Double Trouble’ series here

‘i had a dream (where you couldn't hear me screaming)’ and ‘hold me close, in fact bury me’ here 

‘Just closed eyes with nothing behind’ here

‘doubt thou the stars be fire’ here

‘SCAR TISSUE’ here

‘Lighter Fluid’ here

you may also like:

‘The Sound’ here

historians by cielalune [Rated M, 21508 Words, Complete, 2023]

He remembers when she didn’t smell of ash, but perfume. The times they’d play the radio to fill the quiet of the car, and she’d hum along. How she never missed a single exy practice, and cheered for him each time. She wasn’t all too different from Cass in the end. Just because she was dead didn’t mean she was buried. Five times Neil tries to come to closure about the person Mary Hatford was, and the one time he accepts who she came to be.

tw: heavily referenced child abuse, tw: heavily referenced rape/noncon, tw: heavily referenced csa, tw: heavily referenced self harm, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: sleep paralysis, tw: depressive episode, tw: flashbacks with blood & gore, tw: panic attacks, tw: dissociation, tw: victim blaming

Mommy Dearest by chronically_peach [Rated G, 915 Words, Complete, 2022]

Neil doesn’t talk about his mother much but Andrew knows it’s a touchy subject for the redhead. After a session with Betsy Neil admits he’s been thinking about his mother and allows Andrew a glimpse into who Mary Hatford really was.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse

Pain of a Forgotten Face series by Rose_vine [Collection, 2 complete works, Updated 2021]

Part 1: Pain of a Forgotten Face [M, 3086 Words] Neil Josten is awoken by a face in his nightmares from twelve years ago, a face he barely remembers. When he tries to brush it off and go to practice, he realizes too late that some memories refuse to let themselves be forgotten.

tw: ptsd, tw: panic attacks, tw: nightmares, tw: hallucinations, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: implied/referenced murder, tw: blood/gore

Part 2: A Hand to Hold Me Back From The Cliff [Not Rated, 2132 Words] After Neil collapses on the court from a flashback from when he was younger, Andrew convinces him to go to therapy. This is his first session with Bee, and it is only Andrew at his side that gives him the strength to walk through the door.

tw: ptsd, tw: implied/referenced child abuse

After the Beep by kanekei [Rated T, 1030 Words, Incomplete, Updated Sept 2023]

Neil works through his relationship with his dead mother by leaving her voice messages that she'll never hear. It’s healthy, Bee says. He can’t help but think having the Minyards as patients has skewed her perception of what that word means. The number you have reached is not available. Please leave your message after the beep.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced murder, tw: implied/referenced violence

The Foxes by akaashisramen [Not Rated, 3386 Words, Incomplete, Updated July 2023]

Trans Neil is on the run from his father and goes to his uncles house. His uncle promises him protection and allows him to play Exy as long as he goes to group therapy to process his mothers death.

tw: graphic depictions of violence, tw: graphic nightmares, tw: implied/referenced torture

someday, we'll grow by nopunintended [Rated G, 2078 Words, Complete, 2021]

Andrew and Neil see Betsy for a couple's therapy session per Andrew's request.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse

Couples Therapy by P0tatonoah [Rated T, 2014 Words, Complete 2020]

I got a lot of comments (like 3 or 4) on my breakup fic asking for a part 2 where Neil and Andrew patch things up and live happily ever after… This is not it. But you can read it as an alternative ending if you want. 

tw: implied/referenced nonconsensual touch, tw: implied/referenced violence

NB: find P0tatonoah’s andreil break up fic ‘Home...?’ here

They sicken of the calm, they who know the storm by EdgySpaghetti [Not Rated, 3162 Words, Complete, 2023]

After storm there always comes the sun. People born into the storm, who growing up sees only black clouds and lightnings striking everywhere, just learn how to live with it, how to protect themselves from cold, wind and rain. They recognize the pattern, know that lightning will struck sooner or later and are prepared for it. What are those people to do when there is no more dark clouds? They don't know how to live in this environment, how to dress to not get too hot and how to prevent potential sunburnt. They never had to do that before. They're still expecting the lightnings.

tw: ptsd, tw: anxiety, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: anger issues

Can I finally stop running now? by gracefromspace [Rated T, 12110 Words, Complete, 2023]

Neil is intrigued by a blonde baker with piercings, two therapy cats and strong arms.

tw: heavily referenced torture, tw: flashbacks with blood/gore, tw: implied/referenced murder, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: anxiety, tw: negative self image

can't blame it on my youth by PoolToast22 [Rated G, 2650 Words, Complete, 2022]

The one where Neil Josten is Fine TM. But he's also in therapy. And today Bee decided to ask him that question.

hold on to happiness by minyarday [Rated T, 551 Words, Complete, 2020]

"self esteem had never been something Neil cared about. when you are a runaway that don't even have a place to call home, you learn to prioritize certain things and forget others" only that now he has the time to think about it

I'll Come Back To You by mostly_maudlin [Rated T, 6900 Words, Complete, 2022]

Some of the things he’s learned today feel like stories about someone else: Neil switched to playing striker at a tiny high school in Arizona. Aaron lives in Chicago with his wife. Andrew’s cousin calls Neil every Tuesday, because Andrew is too stubborn to pick up the phone himself. But other things are clear truths, even if they’re more abstract: Neil’s mother died. Andrew is safe. Neil was supposed to stay, but part of him is gone. - - - - It's about dreams, reality, trust, patience, and determination. It's about making promises and keeping them. You'll figure out the rest.

tw: car accidents, tw: major character injury, tw: implied/referenced violence

I will help you swim by unojonex [Rated E, 11699 Words, Incomplete, Updated Oct 2022]

He’s slowed down, stayed in one place for more than a few months and it's all caught up with him. In his sleep, ghosts of his past haunt him. And they have no mercy. Dreams and imagination swirl together in a confusing mix of nightmares that don't go away, even when he's awake. -- basically Neil and Andrew getting together while also dealing with a lot of trauma

tw: ptsd, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: implied/refererenced torture, tw: heavily referenced child abuse, tw: suicide ideation, tw: graphic nightmares with blood/gore, tw: dissociation, tw: hallucinations, tw: panic attacks

But Touch My Tears with Your Lips by transjorts [Rated M, 4070 Words, Complete, AFTG Mixtape Exchange 2022]

Andrew is sitting across from him, expression neutral, fork in hand. He’d dragged the tinnes across the plate—purposefully, if Neil had to guess. Andrew has already cut the burrito up into tiny pieces and spears one morsel on the fork, lifting it to his mouth. “Hi,” Neil says. Andrew chews, very deliberately. “Do you feel better?” Neil frowns. “What?” Andrew eats another bite. “Did all that running make you feel better?” Neil sighs and glances down, noticing that his water has been refilled. He takes a sip. “No.”

tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: implied/referenced sexual assault, tw: nightmares, tw: dissociation

let's just sit awhile by artiest [Rated M, 17291 Words, Complete. 2022, Locked]

Neil and Andrew don't have to keep fighting for their survival. They can settle now. It's hard, but they're trying. OR: During Neil's second year in Palmetto State, him and Andrew learn to take care of each other.

tw: severe mental health issues, tw: ptsd, tw: implied/referenced torture,  tw: nightmares with blood/gore, tw: flashbacks,  tw: dissociation, tw: violence, tw: homophobia, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: vomit, tw: alcohol abuse/alcholism

I could never give you peace by freshtaylorswiftduck [Rated T, 3407 Words, Complete. 2022]

Neil has both bad and good days. Today is a bad day.

tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: panic attacks

10 tips to stress less, without the tips by lumos_max [Rated T, 5404 Words, Complete, AFTG Exchange Fall 2020]

A lonely Neil lets his therapist bully him into checking out the clinic's support group without too much fuss, but little did he know he wouldn't be checking out the group that day, instead meeting a dramatic hunk of a man who drives a fancy car and forgets to wipe the cream off the corner of his lip. It's only fair that Neil tries to do it for him, right?

tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: implied/referenced child abuse

“God, I have my father’s eyes.” by perks_of_being_a_writer [Rated T, 673 Words, Complete, 2022]

This is based on Family Line by Conan Gray. In this short story, Neil is at a therapy appointment where he and Betsy dive into his parental issues. This covers Neil’s abuse from both parents (because, yes, Mary was abusive and a bad mother). This is Neil learning that it's not his fault his parents hurt him and accepting that he is loved.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse

"There's blood on my/your hands." by markonasurface (idwir) [Rated T, 4667 Words, Complete, 2018]

The year after his 19th birthday, the other team decides to recreate the bloody locker scene complete with a ‘Happy Birthday, Jr.’ Instead of stuffing everything down, Neil has a complete freak out and sinks into a depression.

tw: suicidal thoughts, tw: blood, tw: panic attacks, tw: ptsd, tw: major depressive episode, tw: homophobia, tw: disordered eating, tw: vomit

Nothing is Safe series by hismiley16 [Rated T/M/E, Collection, 7 complete works, Updated July 2023]

Parts 3 and 7 recced here

Part 4: Written On His Skin [Not Rated, 11344 Words] The Foxes face the Ravens for the first time since Riko's death and things go as well as expected. Andrew is mildly injured on the court and isn't there to protect Neil when the new Evermore captain comes for him after the game. The team sees more than Neil ever wanted them to, including the ghost of Nathaniel he thought he'd buried in Baltimore.

tw: vomit, tw: bullying, tw: nonconsensual touch/assault  tw: dissociation, tw: graphic depictions of violence, tw: blood, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: implied/referenced murder, tw: implied/referenced animal death, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon

The Josten Anxiety Method by orphan_account [Rated M, 1721 Words, Complete, 2022]

Neil talks to Bee about his anxiety.

tw: anxiety, tw: hallucinations, tw: dissociation, tw: panic attacks, tw: implied/referenced abuse

Looking in the Mirror Never Felt so Good by Trimorphia [Rated T, 8693 Words, Complete, 2023]

Neil Josten's journey to becoming a real person.

tw: nightmares, tw: panic attacks, tw: implied/referenced abuse

Achilles Come Down by infernalstars [Rated M, 5017 Words, Complete, 2020]

Neil Josten was a liar before he was anything else. In the nest, sometimes his choices were between lying and dying. He’d had a decent amount of self preservation that he’d chosen the former. But now, being free, the world felt so heavy. He wished he’d chosen dying.

tw: graphic depictions of violence, tw: graphic suicide attempt, tw: self harm, tw: blood, tw: eating disorders focus, tw: ptsd, tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: vomit, tw: depression 

prompt: Neil x therapy bullet fic by @sadboyayeron [Tumblr, 2020]

[feuqueerfire]

4 Minutes Ep 1 - 6 Rewatch + Ep 7 Live Blogging

I've watched just a handful of series while they're airing and I don't tend to rewatch stuff while waiting for the next episode. However, I watched a whole bunch of this show on my iPad in a different country (Ep 1) or on my phone while outside and barely able to see the dark scenes (Ep 5, 6), so I thought I'd do a rewatch to actually watch the show.

Also, ep 6 gave us more info and the story is a little more coherent now, so I think it'd be cool to watch the earlier episodes with the knowledge of ep 6 and then watch ep 7 with the refreshed knowledge.

Probably not going to write down much for the rewatch because I've already written my thoughts as I go in the live blogging for those episodes.

Ep 1 (Sep 1)

didn't even notice the guy pointing the gun at Tyme the first time

The dead cat appearing to Tonkla

I wonder what these Korn at work or the Tonkla scenes actually are. Is it just us being shown the original timeline like I was thinking at first? But we saw in ep 6 that some scenes don't happen the same way in the OG timeline right? But it's like Great's mind isn't coming up with this because he doesn't know about all this, so either it's original timeline and the stuff involving Great is the "redo" timeline based on his thoughts or there are at least two actual timelines where the Korn-Tonkla stuff from ep 1 - 5 is the modified timeline and not the real one. idk?? Because like okay Korn is so hesitant at his job in ep 1 - 5 but Great also doesn't actually know about it, right? Whereas in ep 6 we see he's more ruthless. So the ep 1-5 is an actual timeline? Where Korn is a different type or guy? Or is it actually just Great's imagination still even though Great doesn't fully know the Korn work and Korn/Tonkla stuff? We still don't know what's real and what's not ig

Ep 2 (Sep 1)

I'd kind of forgotten just how apathetic/disengaged Tyme was with his patients. Like in Ep 6 we know that OG timeline Tyme is an asshole what with the revenge porn and such but he wasn't a kind person in the redo tl either

ah, the flashbacks that Great was seeing of having sex with Tyme show up in the ep 6 ONS

I really like Bible's acting/demeanor when asking Tyme about whether he has patients who see the future + the line after that. idk why but his delivery struck me the first time when watching too

Ep 3 (Sep 1)

Tyme really is so much nicer to Great in the redo timeline lol. Like how he was trying to get Great's Line last ep + this whole entire Thai Tea on campus exchange (but where's the flashes of the apology from?)

I loveeee the "oh really?" (ow, laww? - I can't find what word it is in Thai rip) Den says so much at 14:33. Rewatched it a bunch of times the first time and now too

Ep 4 (Sep 2)

oh yeah, I forgot that Win was being followed. Wonder if that'll come up again

Tonkla's "Take off" to Win's pants lol. I think it's fun to see how Korn's so much more submissive with Fasai while Tonkla is bossy with Win, a flip for Korn and Tonkla's dynamics with each other

wonder if the cat/the cat's killer will come up again. is it his dad? did his dad die already and so we won't get more of him?

I did not watch the full Korn/Tonkla first time, so I didn't know that Tonkla didn't even know how to kiss!

oh, Korn also said I love you to Tonkla. I'd missed that my first time, so I thought only Tonkla had said it.

I want more info about Lukwa and how she and Great were in that same white room

the difference between the redo timeline Great and Tyme having sex vs in the original timeline truly is stark

Ep 5 (Sep 2)

this is the episode I watched on iQiyi and it only had non-sultry at the time but like... they cut out regular scenes because they didn't have sex scenes to cut in this ep

Mon's death is so fucked up

who's the guy in a disguise following Tyme? It's not Win is it?

it's still striking how differently the parents/the dad treat Korn vs Great

Fasai is so attractive

I do wonder if Korn is bi and just likes both of them. If he's gay and only likes Tonkla. If he's bi and just using Tonkla, especially because he feels powerful/desired/important there whereas he's under Fasai or his parents' thumbs otherwise.

If his mother doesn't die in the original timeline, how does Great have visions of the man pulling a gun on his mother + her lying on the floor with blood splattered across her

Wonder what the running sequence with Tyme is about. and is it the same outfit as when Tyme is shot and walking around in ep 1 intro? Looks like it...

Things pointing to a third timeline: The Thai Tea that Tyme gave when Great saw the visions even though it wasn't in the original timeline + Great seeing his mother being shot even though in the original timeline she was not shot.

Ep 6 (Sep 2)

Differences with Great: Den telling him about research, Nutcha breakup (happened the day Great killed the woman, not earlier)

this car dashcam of them getting rid of Dome...

In this original timeline, Tyme doesn't know that Great killed the woman, right?

I didn't fully watch the Great and Tyme sex scene outside last time but watched it almost fully this time

so curious about Tyme's parents apparently starting the gambling thing + Great's dad claiming he didn't kill them. What's the truth?

I loveee Great's loud "we can choose your favourite spot" to pressure Tyme

Great is really just so... a not as nefarious/dangerous Vegas in the conversation with Tyme. like idk he's def far from Vegas but the demeanour/manner of speaking somehow... like thus far, Great has been quite distinct from Vegas despite being played by Bible (because he's talented as hell omg) but this specific convo... It reminds me a bit of Vegas messing with Pete

the way he leans forward to ask "Wanna hook up?" is so funny

In the redo timeline, Korn is more hesitant about hurting Nan and he + Great have a better relationship (ep 1 talking after the dinner with parents where Great tells him about his visions + in ep 4 or 5 when they get drunk enough that Great can steal his phone, etc.). Here, Great and Korn don't really talk + Great follows a car, doesn't get Nan's address from Korn's phone.

So in this tl, Tyme himself releases the info that Nan releases in the redo tl I guess?

Now that I've binged these episodes, I'm even more excited about episode 7 actually. Like it wasn't super hard for me to wait a week between these episodes but I think the wait it is a little bit harder now because after seeing everything in the span of two days (+ on my laptop mostly), I need to know what the next episode will do. hmm maybe I should have done the rewatch on Thursday - Friday so that I don't have to wait 3-4 more days until ep 7 lol.

Ep 7 (Sep 6)

This was the hardest few days of waiting for this so far actually. Rewatching really did a number on my brain, I'm so much more into this show now than being like "yeah, sure, this is cool" when 1 ep a week.

Busy at work but not busy enough to pass watching this. I’ve been looking forward to it for the past few days.

Ohhh the day Tonkla’s cat died

okayyyy Title not Tonkla’s first murder. The jingling and the music as the body lay there reminded me of Bulbbul.

ah, the dashcam footage of Title and Great was found but fell into the hands of the corrupt cop and so was destroyed

Now Win knows that Title killed Dome. Is this before or after he knows that Tonkla killed Title?

Also Title is the chief’s son, no wonder Title was all confident about his father’s power

Oh, it’s literally before Title’s death. I know people were wondering how tf Tonkla knew who to kill and if it was just a (correct) guess lol but Win did tell him

The kid who found the dashcam footage had backed it up on his phone while fuckass Inspector Win did not

Oh true Tonkla finds Title’s IG -> Great’s IG (accomplice) -> Korn’s IG and realizes they’re brothers or maybe remembers. idk if he already knew before or not

In the original timely, the parents flee first and ask Korn to find Great to follow them

not Den literally dropping his cookie and hearing white noise at learning that Lukwa has a faen lmfaooo I was shipping her and Den too

okay lol she’s broken up now, lukwa/den still a go!

rip grandma

it seems like Great was a beloved child so why the sob story man

I can’t remember right now but I’d found out this week that Great and Tyme knew each other as kids. Was it a spoiler from Bible?

those wafers… want

oh yeah, did I find out in relation to Tyme knowing about Great’s fear of dogs?

So I guess it’s like Great’s parents and Tyme’s parents are both pretty bad with the illegal gambling rings and stuff but they’re making Warit the main villain?

okayyyyy Tyme’s tymeline with 4 minutes power. People were posting about it last week and guess it was indeed true.

I watched like 15 minutes of this at work and the rest on the way home on the bus + I watched the censored version I think (2 mins less than the sultry version?). So I'll do a rewatch next week closer to the ep 8 date.

I wonder how they’ll wrap everything up next episode omg. Gotta be a 2 hour episode or what. I don’t really foresee a happy ending and I don’t want one either but I don’t necessarily want one where it’s all bleak, everybody dies, either. They said ep 8 is more like a recap episode that explains everything, so we'll see - esp since it'll be from Tyme's POV I guess?

I'm a bit sad that it'll end next week because it was pretty fun the past month to have something to watch on Fridays but I'm also excited to see how it ends.

[fakeikemen]

The Roku/Sozin ancestry plot twist for Zuko

Like I’m sure this has been said before but the twist about Zuko being a descendant of both Roku and Sozin is actually a disservice to his character and his narrative as well? The way the narrative frames this reveal along with Iroh's dialogue, it backtracks on a lot of the story we are shown in Book 1&2 (and sometimes it even clashes with some dialogues in Book 3).

Iroh: “Because understanding the struggle between your two great-grandfathers can help you better understand the battle within yourself. Evil and good are always at war inside you, Zuko. It is your nature, your legacy. But, there is a bright side. What happened generations ago can be resolved now, by you. Because of your legacy, you alone can cleanse the sins of our family and the Fire Nation. Born in you, along with all the strife, is the power to restore balance to the world.”

1. This implies that there are equal amounts of good and evil in Zuko and his internal struggle is about choosing one of them.

The core qualities of Zuko as a character are empathy, compassion and kindness. A person who always gets upset when he sees or even thinks about other people in pain, a person who spoke out against powerful people to save lives that were being sacrificed needlessly, a person who shows mercy to people who don’t deserve it, a person who is willing to reach out a hand to save the life of the man who tried to kill him, a person who avoids fights when possible, a person who is willing to fight on behalf of a family he has known for only one night, a person who reaches out to sympathise after being yelled at— a person like this is definitely not struggling with equal parts of good and evil within them.

Zuko does have two selves, but they can be categorised as pre-scar and post-scar.

His pre-scar version is the version who was unabashedly kind and compassionate, who spoke his mind without thinking of consequences. But his post-scar version was a cover up of the pre-scar version. It was a lie that Zuko lived everyday. He convinced himself that this was how he had to be; because this was what Ozai wanted him to be and that there was no other way.

And yet, when the situation is dire and he is depending on his instincts or when he is given a free choice, we see the pre-scar Zuko spring into action. Because that’s who he really is. It’s not a struggle between good and evil within him, it is his supressed self making an appearance when he slips up and fails to maintain his facade.

Perhaps the line that describes his internal struggle the best is this:

Zuko, imitating Iroh: Zuko, you have to look within yourself to save yourself from your other self. Only then will your true self, reveal itself.

And while this dialogue was played for laughs, it is the most accurate description of how Zuko had to reach for his suppressed self, his real self, to save himself from becoming what Ozai wanted him to be.

2. It also implies that Ozai and Ursa had equal influence on Zuko's upbringing and that he struggled to chose between what was taught to him by Ursa (good) and Ozai (evil).

The idea that Zuko has equal amounts of good and evil inside himself goes hand in hand with idea that the good and evil traits in him have been passed onto him by Ursa and Ozai's upbringings respectively which are legacies of Roku and Sozin.

I don’t need to look any further than “Zuko Alone” to know that Ozai's impact on Zuko's upbringing was slim to none. The flashbacks that we see, are dominated by Ursa's presence. Ozai hardly gets any time onscreen. And when he does, he is shown as a silhouette and when he isn’t a silhouette, we only see him smile at Azula's display of skills and frown at Zuko's attempt.

Ozai was Zuko's father alright, but never in the ways that mattered. We know that Ozai abused Zuko. He constantly belittled him and compared him to Azula. Partially because Zuko lacked the natural talent that Azula had and partially because he lacked the ruthlessness and cruelty that Azula displayed even at her age.

Which made Zuko copy Azula's behaviour to get his father’s acceptance. But whenever Ursa noticed this, she immediately corrected Zuko and clearly told him that it was wrong.

Ozai is never shown to tell Zuko that whatever Ursa told him was wrong. Ozai personally never taught him anything (except that one time). He appreciated Azula's behaviour and encouraged her to keep it up but he just kept on expressing his disappointment in Zuko.

Ursa: Remember this, Zuko. No matter how things may seem to change, never forget who you are.

Zuko's innate kindness and compassion were protected by Ursa in the formative years when he was at his most pliable. And this is why no matter what happens, he never loses these qualities and is able to retain his real self even after he tried hard to suppress it.

3. It diminishes the extent of psychological damage and trauma caused by the scarring incident.

The one time Ozai did take it upon himself to teach something to Zuko:

Ozai: You will learn respect, and suffering will be your teacher.

(Notice that here too Ozai's form is silhouetted against the light behind him.)

The scar is so much more than just a scar to Zuko. It is the one lesson that Ozai taught him. The scar exists because of Zuko's innate compassion. It was put on his face in an attempt to burn out his compassion. It was put there to be a constant reminder of what would happen if he dared to do something that went against what Ozai wanted from him. The scar was Ozai’s brand on his face. It took away Zuko's autonomy to make decisions for himself. It was a constant reminder that Zuko’s opinions didn’t matter.

Post-scar Zuko is Zuko's attempt at supressing his real persona to become the person Ozai wanted him to be, because he learned the hard way that he didn’t have the choice to be anyone else.

In fact, the first time Zuko makes a deliberate choice to go against what was expected of him, (letting Appa go) he succumbed to a fever. His emotional turmoil of coming to terms with the fact that he didn’t need to listen to Ozai and abide by him; a notion that he had been force feeding himself, everyday, for the last three years, manifested itself physically in the form of a fever. That was how deep the psychological damage caused by the scar was. (I hate it when people call it an angst coma.)

Saying that Zuko was struggling with equal amounts of good and evil within him, oversimplifies the complex emotional trajectory he had about coming to terms with the abuse he went through and reclaiming his autonomy and his personal opinions and beliefs, into just a choice between two aspects of his personality.

Zuko: I wanted to speak out against this horrifying plan, but I'm ashamed to say I didn't. My whole life, I struggled to gain my father's love and acceptance, but once I had it, I realized I'd lost myself getting there. I'd forgotten who I was.

4. This implies that Zuko's destiny was pre-determined.

Iroh said in the dialogue that Zuko was born with the power to restore balance in the world and that only he could do it.

Zuko, the character who has always had to struggle to gain what he wanted is suddenly told of an advantage that he had just by the virtue of birth? Kinda defeats the purpose of: "Azula was born lucky; I was lucky to be born", if you ask me.

And even more importantly, he let go of the destiny that Ozai forced on him, only to take on another predetermined destiny; a destiny that was his to fulfil by the virtue of birth, and took steps to fulfil this other destiny, instead of making a destiny of his own and paving his own path to it by making the choices that he had been denied for so long because of Ozai. Which seems weird because all the other times Iroh talks to Zuko about this topic, he always emphasises on how it’s Zuko's choice to make his own destiny:

Lake Laogai:

Zuko: I want my destiny.

Iroh: What that means is up to you.

Lake Laogai:

Zuko: I know my own destiny, Uncle!

Iroh: Is it your own destiny, or is it a destiny someone else has tried to force on you?

Zuko: Stop it, Uncle! I have to do this!

Iroh: I'm begging you, Prince Zuko! It's time for you to look inward and begin asking yourself the big questions. Who are you, and what do you want?

Crossroads of Destiny:

Iroh: Zuko, I am begging you. Look into your heart and see what it is that you truly want.

Western Air Temple:

Iroh: You know Prince Zuko, destiny is a funny thing. You never know how things are going to work out. But if you keep an open mind, and an open heart, I promise you will find your own destiny someday.

5. It indirectly implies that the good™ in Ursa and Zuko exists because they are a part of the Avatar's legacy.

Making Ursa a daughter of a nobleman (as intended originally)* would’ve served a much better purpose for the message that the episode was trying to get across: “the Fire Nation isn’t inherently evil”.

Katara: You mean, after all Roku and Sozin went through together, even after Roku showed him mercy, Sozin betrayed him like that?

Toph: It's like these people are born bad.

Aang: Roku was just as much Fire Nation as Sozin was, right? If anything, their story proves anyone's capable of great good and great evil. Everyone, even the Fire Lord and the Fire Nation have to be treated like they're worth giving a chance.

Had Ursa not been Roku’s descendant, then there would've been people other than just Roku and his descendants, who were Fire Nation and good™. (Iroh is literally the only exception.)

Moreover, Azula is just as much a part of “Roku’s legacy” as Zuko is, and yet is completely overlooked when it comes to it. She isn’t shown to be struggling with equal amounts of good and evil. She isn’t gifted at birth with the capacity to bring balance back to the world. It appears as if she had inherited only “Sozin's legacy”.

So, not only does this Roku/Sozin twist go against Zuko's fundamental characterisation, but it also partially deconstructs the narrative that had been carefully set up for him over the course of 2 seasons.

*(I have been looking relentlessly for the post where I saw two screen caps of the two different characterisations of Ursa: 1. Ursa as we see her in "Zuko Alone"; 2. Ursa as Roku's descendant. And I can't find it now otherwise I would've linked it.)