#because my headcanons always take 700 words of explanation and i'm too Tired to go through that for most things

[calledstrength-a-blog]

smol  dump  of  headcanons

gwaine's  never  completely  confided  in  anyone  about  his  past.  people  get  parts  of  the  whole,  but  never  the  full  story.

merlin  knows  about  his  noble  heritage  &  is  probably  the  only  one  beyond  his  immediate  family  who  ever  knows  about  it.  merlin  is  also  the  only  one  to  know  his  father’s  name.

gwen  gets  stories  about  his  family.  she  gets  stories  about  the  mischief  he  &  his  brothers  get  up  to.  she  gets  stories  about  the  deeper  details  of  his  relationships  with  each  siblings.  he  tells  her  about  he  taught  them  all  to  fight  &  talking  fondly  about  them.  she  gets  the  stories  about  love  &  laughter,  helping  gwaine  remember  that  there’s  light  in  life  as  well.  she  is  the  only  one  who  knows  that  gwaine  is  a  bastard  child.

percy  gets  the  most  complete  story.  percy  is  the  one  who  gets  the  gritty  details.  percy  is  the  only  one  who  knows  the  full  reality  of  how  hard  it  was  to  grow  up.  how  gwaine  launched  himself  into  being  the  main  family  provider  because  he  didn’t  want  his  mother  to  overwork  himself.  how  he  pretty  much  taught  himself  to  hunt  &  survive.  percy  knows  about  how  gwaine  stole,  lied  &  cheated  as  he  was  growing  up,  doing  whatever  he  could  to  feed  his  family.  percy  knows  all  of  his  siblings’  names.  percy  gets  more  lighthearted  stories  too,  but  he  gets  the  most  honest  stories  about  gwaine’s  childhood.

artemisia  gets  close  to  the  full  story  as  well.  artemisia  has  probably  also  met  his  siblings  at  some  point.  she’s  the  only  one  where  gwaine’s  comfortable  enough  about  dropping  details  about  his  past  in  casual  conversation.  usually  the  only  time  he  talks  about  his  past  is  in  throwaway  comments  that  he  refuses  to  expand  upon  or  in  Deep™  conversations   /   @maidensword​

gwaine  spent  most  of  his  life  wanting  revenge  for  what  caerleon  did.  when  he  saw  caerleon  on  his  knees,  ready  to  be  executed,  it  took  every  ounce  of  self  control  to  not  do  anything.  to  not  say  anything.  he  wanted  to  drive  that  sword  through  the  bastard  himself,  he  wanted  caerleon  to  suffer.  he  wanted  caerleon  to  know  it  was  him,  that  the  king  had  done  everything  he  could  to  ensure  that  gwaine  wouldn’t  survive,  but  gwaine  did.  but  most  all,  he  just  wanted  to  ask  why.  why  turn  his  mother  away,  why  take  everything  from  them.

he’s  secretly  glad  that  arthur  did  it  anyway,  despite  the  consequences  of  what  happened.  if  he  had  done  it,  he  would  have  felt  emptier  &  worse  for  it.

his  father  taught  him  how  to  hold  a  sword.  his  father  taught  him  to  view  the  sword  as  an  extension  of  himself  &  to  treat  it  with  a  reverence.  everything  else,  gwaine’s  taught  himself  either  by  observation  or  by  pure  need  to  survive.

gwaine  learns  best  by  observation.  it’s  how  he’s  learned  everything  else.  gwaine’s  really  good  at  studying  something  &  figuring  out  how  it  works  &  then  immitating  it.  his  neat  sword  disarming  trick  comes  from  a  fisherman  named   viamundus.

gwaine  has  an  intermediate  reading  level.  he  can  understand  most  things,  but  the  more  complicated  and  long  -  winded  words  are  beyond  his  scope  of  understanding.  his  mother  taught  him  &  all  of  his  siblings  to  read,  but  she  didn’t  have  a  lot  of  time  since  she  was  always  busy  working  to  provide  for  her  family.

gwaine  didn’t  get  many  lessons,  insisting  that  it’s  more  important  that  his  little  brothers  &  sister  get  educated  first.  gwaine  was  more  focused  on  making  money  as  well  (  *  through  whatever  way  he  can  )  &  by  the  time  his  mother  died  when  he  was  twelve,  he  never  really  had  a  use  for  reading  so  what  she  did  teach  him  degraded  over  the  years.  use  it  or  lose  it  and  all  that.

gwaine’s  very  good  at  sums,  though.  he  spent  some  time  with  merchants,  learning  their  trade  &  learning  about  numbers.

gwaine  left  home  at  eighteen.  he  left  home  because  he  wasn’t  needed  as  much  anymore  &  he  had  always  felt  like  he  had  never  belonged  in  his  own  family.  he  wanted  to  explore  the  world  &  see  it  with  his  own  two  eyes.

sometimes,  the  world  isn’t  enough.  sometimes  gwaine  feels  like  there’s  nothing  in  the  world  worth  living  for.  fighting  &  adrenaline  helps  him  feel  alive  which  is  why  he  loves  a  good  ol'   fashioned  bar  fight  to  break  up  the  tedium.

he  doesn’t  do  well  with  schedules.  he  hates  routine.  he  hates  being  in  a  rut,  doing  the  same  thing  over  &  over  again.  it  makes  him  itch  furiously  with  the  need  to  leave  &  roam  around  again.

don’t  tell  them,  but  his  favourite  sibling  is  gareth.  he’s  closest  with  clarissant,  though  &  they  antagonize  each  other,  but  they  love  each  other  a  lot.

gwaine  knew  about  those  starlone  blades  because  he’s  seen  them  in  action  i.e.  he’s  been  run  through  with  them  before.

gwaine  is  the  most  loving  person  in  the  world.  he  is  so  filled  with  love  &  affection  &  has  never  been  afraid  of  loving  someone.  he  loves  freely  &  completely,  usually  showing  his  love  with  these  extremely   affectionate  displays  &  gestures.  read:  he’s  a  very  touchy  feely  person.

when  he  brings  someone  into  his  bed,  he  makes  it  very  clear  that  it’s  just  for  sex.  he  doesn’t  lead  someone  on,  doesn’t  leave  them  with  the  pretense  that  there  might  be  more  when  there  won’t  be.

what  he’s  afraid  of  is  people  loving  him.  he  doesn’t  want  people  to  love  him  because  that  means  he’s  important  to  them.  when  someone  is  important  to  him,  he’d  be  willing  to  die  for  them.  he  doesn’t  want  anyone  to  die  for  him. 

gwaine  knows  how  to  play  the  lute  &  he  knows  many  tavern  songs.  a  good  portion  of  them  are  very  lewd  &  he  has  no  shame  in  belting  them  out.

gwaine  can  dance  very  well  &  is  familiar  with  many  types  of  dances.  he’s  traveled  far  &  kept  the  company  of  many  different  people  across  the  social  strata.

he  is  absolutely  in  love  with  merlin.  there’s  no  getting  around  it.  merlin  was  the  first  person  who  said  that  they  liked  him  not  regardless  of  how  loud  &  brash  he  can  be,  but  because  of  it.  merlin  liked  all  of  him,  accepting  all  parts  of  his  personality.  he’s  never  had  that  before.  even  if  merlin  doesn’t  love  him  back,  there’s  nothing  that  merlin  can  do  to  make  gwaine  love  him  less.  literally  no  one  else  can  compare  to  how  much  gwaine  loves  merlin.