#because most mental functions are subconscious so it's difficult to really name and categorise them | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

spaghett-onaplate · 2 months

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i don't think i really get angry, maybe a bit annoyed sometimes, but mostly i just get sad instead. i had a long conversation with my friend about how our minds work and also became conscious of how quiet my mind is. kind of numb. idk it used to be loud but i think that could just have been being a kid

#but also like idk i don't think i know myself very well (yet)#and saying this and that about how my mind works is kind of arbitrary i could be so wrong #because most mental functions are subconscious so it's difficult to really name and categorise them #oh also i'd suspected i had aphantasia before but i assumed that people 'seeing' the things they imagined #didn't actually SEE them. like an actual picture inside your head #i can imagine things but i don't SEE them i just can imagine how it would be to see them #so i assumed that's what people meant #but apparently people do SEE things?? like actually see them?#which hey wtf such a scam that i cannot #like wtf do you mean you see more than just black when you close your eyes. what????#and when i said this to my brother he said the same thing about it 'oh obviously people mean this when they say they imagine things'#but it's difficult to really know because you can't swap minds with someone #and unless you're both very well spoke and understanding it's very difficult to conceptualize a different way of thought #anyway it all just made me realise my mind is very quiet. very very quiet #not a bad thing? i think conscious effort contributed to that. a little dissociation and depression too maybe #but oh who even knows lmao i'll grow up and get to know myself better #one of my biggest wonders is if i have seasonal depression. i have absolutely no idea

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