#because malia smiling is cute because she's like baring her teeth and it amuses me

[tkmuses]

“I tried to change the duvet and I got stuck inside.”

   He tried to hide the snort of amusement, he REALLY did, but it was just such a sight to see. This wasn’t the first odd situation he’d seen the girl in, and he didn’t expect it to be the last, but it was certainly one of the most interesting. This was something she managed to do often. She was a clumsy girl, both as a human and a wolf– he wasn’t quite sure HOW he survived up until this point, but he couldn’t deny it was at least a tiny bit cute.    “Let me help.”

“Don’t you dare throw that snowba-, goddammit!”

   He couldn’t help but smile, a smile he wasn’t quite used to. It’d been a while since he was this genuinely happy, but Malia sparked something new inside of him– something good. He hadn’t spent much time outside since his change, but his girlfriend wasn’t one for the indoors. (( She caused a bit of a mess when she was )).    With slight hesitation, and hope that it was alright, he threw the snowball, a small shrug following after. “It’s just snow.”

“It’s not a double date, we’re just third and forth wheeling.”

    Leaning against the wall of the cabin, he crossed his arms over his chest. He’d promised to hear her out– He could offer that at least. He always did, for HER. Few people got such sentiment. Generally, their ideas weren’t worth his time. But, this didn’t fall under the category of ideas that he particularly cared to go along with. Foxx was essentially Malia on steriods– with a much more irritable personality. The idea of tagging along on a date with some human she’d snagged didn’t sound like much fun.     “Idea–How about we don’t do that?”

“I can’t keep hurting you.“

It was cold and dark and the downpour was freezing, the two of them were huddled together to keep warm. They’d been on the run for a short while now, a couple of other DA kids with them. The forrest was not as welcoming a home as the Hogwarts dormitories were, although as of late that was arguable. Her hands cupped both of his cheeks, pulling his face towards hers and pressing a kiss to his lips. It was rough, and her chapped lips added no amount of tenderness to it. All of their kisses had been such lately. She had no time for soft love. The both of them could die at any moment, and her desperation to be close with him showed every time they had a slight moment of intimacy. Pulling away, she pressed her forehead to his, eyes squeezed shut tightly. “It isn’t you, and it never has been. You’re the only good thing I have right now. The people we’re fighting? They aren’t you, Doug. You aren’t them. So, stop. Just stop. Please,” She whispered, pressing another kiss to his lips, his cheeks, before pulling away and pushing herself up off the log they were seated on. Placing her hand on his shoulder and allowing it to linger for a moment she spoke once more, “You’re a good fucking person, Doug. You haven’t hurt me yet.” A lie. A blatant lie, but it needed to be said. She needed to convince him otherwise.

"I trusted you.“

They were arguing again. That was all they did anymore. Fight until their throats were sore and they were hurting more than they already had been. “Oh piss off! Yeah, I fucking lied to you about what they’ve been doing to me. I’ve been lyin’ to you about the Carrows too. You know why? You want to know why I’ve been lyin’ to you? It’s ‘cause I love you, you flaming sack of–” She paused a moment, heart racing so fast she could hear it in her ears. She tugged her sleeve down, covering the evidence of any time she’d spent with the professors that now roamed the halls of Hogwarts. “Doug, I love you. I love you so fuckin’ much, and you’ve gotta know I’ve only ever lied because It was for your own good. If you knew…You’da gone after them and I don’t want you getting hurt for me anymore. It fucking kills me, okay? So I’ve got to bear a few marks because of ‘em. That’s nothing compared to the hell that is knowing you’ve gone through any bit of pain because of me.” She shook her head, bringing her hands up to run them through her hair. “Fuck this is all my fault.”

"I still love you.“

His words struck her as hard as if he’d slapped her across the cheek. Near immediately she began to shake her head, a nasty look settling in on her normally kind face. “Fuck you, Doug,” the girl hissed through gritted teeth, “You got no right to say that to me. You think you can just say that shit to me and It’ll fix it? No fuckin’ way.” She shook her head once more, looking down at the ground, focusing her attention on her shoes so as to refrain from doing something she’d regret. He might’ve been a real fancy pureblood– But she wasn’t. She didn’t need spells and magic to make him hurt. Her hands tightened into fists, knuckles turning white. Her gaze snapped it’s attention back to his, spitting out her words with venom “Did you really fucking think I wouldn’t find out? That I wouldn’t figure out why you left? Y’know Douglas, when we got together, you made me feel things I didn’t know I could. You made me feel like a real special lady, but I’m not, am I? I’m just some dirty blooded bitch fucking with your reputation– But I’m better than you’ll ever fuckin’ be. You know why, Dougie? Because I know where my loyalties lie. Can you even say that? You wanna play pretend? Fuck with someone else’s life while you’re doing it, yeah?” Taking a few steps backwards, she kept her cold glare steady on him, a nonchalant shrug of her shoulders added while she turned her back to him.

"I don’t want to see you ever again.“

She could feel her heart collapse, and her chest caving in, his words being heard over and over in her mind. Her knees were weak as she took a step forward, her fingers outstretched towards him in a desperate hope he’d reach back. She could feel the tears welling in her eyes and she wasn’t sure she could stop them from falling this time. As brave as she was, her heart couldn’t handle this. “D-dougie, please. Please, you don’t mean this,” her voice was barely above a whisper, wavering uncontrollably as she struggled to keep herself composed. “Whatever it is i’ve done, please just tell me what. I-I’ll fix it. Please, just don’t do this.” Her voice was broken as she begged him, his words an absolute shock to her. She searched every memory she had for something she could’ve done to make him so angry, but she couldn’t think of anything. The tears finally began to spill over, soaking her cheeks in no time at all. Perhaps it was all of it, everything she’d done. Every little mistake. Perhaps it was just her. Perhaps it was just her blood.

"How many time have I told you to be more careful?“

She grinned, barely able to see as she struggled to hold onto her boyfriend for support. With one hand wrapped around his shoulders, and another clutching her side she found herself struggling to limp through the hallway and towards the hospital wing– Even with his help. “What can I say? I’m your girl. Someone needs to defend your honor, yeah?” She nodded, giving him another bloody grin. Through her attempt to laugh, she found herself coughing up a bit of blood rather than managing to do what she actually wanted to. But, it didn’t seem like she was having any luck with that at all. She’d meant to counter the spell, to block it from hitting Doug, but something had gone wrong and it’d rebounded. Gripping his shoulder tightly, she gave a nod, letting him know she needed to stop for a moment. With his help, she took a seat on the rubble that had once been a hall in Hogwarts. With a shaking hand, she reached out to cup the cheek of her boyfriend who was now crouched in front of her. “I need a moment, yeah. We’ve just won the bloody war. I deserve that much. Just… I’ll be fine.” She leaned her head back against the stone for support, closing her eyes as she winced. It’d be a fuck of a lot easier to get to the hospital wing if she could manage to stop the bleeding, but it wouldn’t.

"You make me sick.“

Her hand was still held loosely over her mouth, fighting the urge to vomit. He’d told her to stay put, that he’d be back when he’d gotten the information he needed, but he’d been taking so long she thought something might’ve happened. Doug had many flaws, and plenty of them were rather grim, but she’d managed to accept that. She loved him for all that he was, not just the good that was on the surface, and not just the good she knew was buried down. The war had been bringing out the worst in him, the worst in both of them really, but never had she expected this. She wanted to turn away, but she couldn’t, her eyes fixated on the gory display in front of her. The methods of torture in the Wizarding world were foul, but they were simple enough. They didn’t require you to get your hands dirty a majority of the time. Muggle torture, however, was sick beyond belief. The barbaric methods that existed were enough to make you sick, even at the tamest ones. “Muggle torture, Doug? I never expected—You make me sick,” She muttered before turning on her heels and hurrying out of the door frame.

"I can’t stand to look at you.”

She wiped her nose on her sleeve before getting rid of any tears that had previously stained her face. She hadn’t meant to say it, she hadn’t meant to say any of it. She’d only said it because she was angry. She should just swallow her pride, admit she’d been wrong and apologies, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She was still furious with him, and although she wanted to ignore the awful things they’d said an done up until this point, something inside of her just wouldn’t let that happen. Holding her head high, she wiped the remaining tears off of her face. “I’ve done some shit things, and i’ll admit it. But you have too, and you can’t pretend that I’m the only one in the wrong here.”

☯: our muses have their first kiss Stretching her arms above her head, the fifth year made her way into the dining hall. She’d only just awoken, and never having been much of a morning person, she was dreadfully tired. Rather than heading to the Gryffindor table, she made a beeline towards that of the Ravenclaw students. Trudging over towards her boyfriend, she let out a rather loud yawn, scrunching up her nose as she tried to wake herself up. Spotting the familiar head of brown hair, she brushed some loose strands of frizz out of her face. Once she’d made it over she flipped a majority of her hair over one shoulder, giving him a quick peck on the lips before sitting down beside him. “Morning babe.” She nodded quietly before pausing. Her brows furrowed and she opened her mouth to speak before snapping it shut. Chewing on the inside of her cheek, she looked over his face,  studying his features for any signs of what he was thinking. She opened her mouth once more, a small noise escaping her lips before leaning in. Cupping both of his cheeks, she placed her lips against his. A small flutter of a laugh escaped her, her nose crinkling as she slid her hands down from his cheeks to his neck.

❤: one of our muses says the first “i love you” to the other

Lena had always had trouble with History of Magic. It was a subject of little importance to her, but thankfully enough she had her boyfriend to depend on. Douglas excelled in many subjects, and although she wasn’t completely sure History of Magic was one of them, she knew he could help more than anyone. She’d invited him to the library for a study session, but as she sat there she couldn’t help herself from drowning out his explanations. She definitely needed the help, but she couldn’t focus on a single thing he was saying. When she was around him, things were entirely different. He made her experience things that she never had before, and although it confused her, she relished every unfamiliar feeling. Her fingers twirled a single strand of messy blond hair, chewing on her lower lip as she began to loose herself in her own mind. Things were so different around Douglas. He made her feel sick to her stomach in the best way possible. He made her head spin, and her heart race. He made her completely loose any sense of reality when he was around, and when he wasn’t around, she felt the strangest need to be. They weren’t a match made in heaven, if anything, they were the exact opposite. He came from a long line of purebloods. Slytherin’s nonetheless. She was a muggle born Gryffindor, but no matter their differences, they made it work.  She’d spent the earlier times in their relationship questioning how long they could make it last, but as time went on, she began to forget what it was like to be without him. She was terrified to admit it, but she eventually came to the realization of what she felt. With a slight shake of her shoulder, she knew that he was asking her something—something about the text no doubt. Rather than giving an answer, she knew what she had to say. Without hesitation the words surpassed her lips. “Doug, I think I love you.”

She hadn’t left her bed in weeks, her blonde hair was beyond greasy and matted, not having showered for even longer than that. It had been exactly a year and it hadn’t gotten any better. She hadn’t gotten any better. Everyone had been effected that night. Everyone had lost someone—but she hadn’t just lost someone, she��d lost her entire world. He had been the light in her life, the only ray of sunshine in a time when darkness clouded the world around her. He had been her everything for as long as she could remember, and loosing him had broken her in a way she couldn’t have ever imagined. When you loose someone, your only someone, it changes you. Lena, the girl who had been fierce as a lioness and bright as a the sun had been overcome with grief and with each passing day it continued to get worse. She woke every morning, expecting him to be there beside her, and he wasn’t. It should have been her. God she fucking wished it had been her. But it hadn’t, and nothing would ever change that. She knew that she had to get up, get out of bed, but she wasn’t sure she could bring herself to do that. She wasn’t sure she could find the energy or the courage to drive herself over there, to see his name carved into grey stone. Swallowing back the urge to sob, a feeling that frequently came over her, she pushed herself out of bed. She didn’t bother getting dressed. She didn’t bother grabbing her keys. She didn’t even bother getting in the car. The graveyard was close enough to her home anyway. Bare foot and messy, the woman made her way across the street, down the block until she reached the dreaded area. She’d never been since the funeral, but she knew exactly how to get to his grave. It was one of the things that no matter how withered away she became she would always remember how to reach. Siting down on the wet grass she rested her head against the cool stone. “How could you fucking do this to me. How could you leave me like this. We were supposed to have everything…I miss you so much it hurts, Doug. It really fucking hurts.”

“You know we’re suppose to be together. I knew it the first time I saw you, and you know it, too. I know you do.”

   She wanted to agree with him– there was a time she did, wholeheartedly. But now?? Times were dark and the future looked nothing but grim. Faith in the world, in herself, in HIM, was hard to manage. Coming from his mouth, it sounded so easy to believe, but he was full of pretty lies, and it was often hard for her to find the truth that was mixed in. She could believe him now, in this moment, but after he left, she was left to think about how WRONG he was, and how they just didn’t make sense. In what world could they possibly love each other? When would they be allowed such a thing? Never.  “I love you. You know I do–But this, us? It can’t happen. You know it, and I know it. Stop making this harder than it needs to be and just let me end things between us. P l e a s e?”

“That’s it. End of discussion.”

  Brows raised at how dismissive he was, her irritation soon developed into anger. Arms crossing over her torso in a huff, she shook her head, eyes narrowing slightly as she tried to fathom how he could think he had the authority to end the discussion simply because HE wanted to. “No, Douglas. That’s not how it works. You don’t get that say. I’m just as much a person as you.” Despite his thoughts, how he’d been raised, she deserved to speak just as much as he. He couldn’t dismiss her words, he couldn’t dismiss H E R. It wasn’t fair, it wasn’t right, and it wouldn’t happen. “No, fuck that– And I don’t like that you think you can make that call.”

“I could kill you right now!”

   She wished he would. She didn’t know how much more of this she could take– everything hurt, and it could only get worse. His family had gotten wind of what they had, and at first she’d thought it’d be okay (( she’d prayed it would be )), but it hadn’t. They’d waited it out until the two had thought it passed. Without any idea of the hell that lay before them, the two had gotten swept up into a mess of trouble. Broken body lay in a heap at Doug’s feet, deserapte to shy away but too defeated to move. Breathing was a struggle in itself. It was only moments before his family came back into the room, before they made him use the curse on her once more. She was long passed begging him to kill her, the only noise passing through her lips by now ragged screams. She couldn’t muster words if she tried.

“You’ve never done this before?"

 She really couldn’t understand his panic. It was entirely misplaced, and if she didn’t know any better, she’d think he didn’t TRUST her. There wasn’t a single ship she couldn’t pilot, and she’d be damned if she didn’t hold that record true today. (( Besides, getting this baby to fly would be something to hold over his head for ages )). “No! But how hard can it be? I’ve flown a B-wing/E before. This is nothing.” She didn’t bother to look over her shoulder as she responded, for a number of reasons–focus needing to be on her hands, but more than anything not wanting to see how bad his injuries were just yet. It had to be bad, she needed a fucking co-pilot, and he wouldn’t leave her confused out in the open like this knowing that unless he couldn’t. She needed to get this thing off the ground before they heard a big kaboom closer than they ever should. He was relying on her–she wouldn’t let him go out like this.

"Okay, good because I was starting to worry you might be in love with me."

  Brow raised, followed by a short laugh and a roll of her eyes, she crossed her arms over her chest. She wasn’t sure what they had going, what this was?? But it’d swung out of  f r i e n d l y  territory a hell of a long time ago. They weren’t who they were when they started this, and their relationship wasn’t remotely the same either. Could she call it love? Yeah, probably. But would she? ABSOLUTELY NOT. (( And never to his face )). With a heavier hit than usual, her fist collided with his shoulder. “Don’t worry, i’m out of your league anyway–You haven’t got a chance.. Besides, I’ve got better things to do than fall for you, Dorvin.”

"You need anything else, you know where to find me.”

  Admittedly he was good. Good with his hands. Good with filling in the gaps of knowledge she lacked. Especially good with making her crazy. She couldnt’ stand him. More often than not she wanted to smack the smug words right out of his mouth, a pre-emptive strike before he could test his fate with whatever ‘witty’ remark he had. Rolling her eyes (( an action as familiar as breathing at this point )), she struggled to bite down her commentary. It was always easier to leave it be, never eager for him to bite back, but she was a gambling woman, and she couldn’t help but play it risky. With a massive pull, she ripped away a few wires, metal parts enclosed around it. Dropping the useless item, turned to him, hands still in the mess that was her ship. “And why would I go looking for you? What can you offer me, Cato? Commentary I don’t need or want. Much appreciated, but i’ve got this handled.” Suddenly, a searing pain struck her palm, yanking her hand away, her eyes whipped to the source– a minor combustion. “Not a word.” she near shouted as she scrambled to take care of the mishap.

"If you weren’t half dead, I would kick your ass.“

  Breath short, words forced, she struggled to keep her eyes open. “You couldn’t if you tried.” The laugh that followed caused a wince of pain, face contorted in regret and agony. She was better off not talking (( Not breathing, really. Everything hurt )). This is what they’d really signed up for. The never ending approach of death. She’d seen it before, up close and person, NOW more than ever, but she never expected herself to be on the receiving end of the final blow. She’d bargained for too much, thrown too many credits into the pile without realizing the bet was a loss. This was bigger than her, than what she was ready for, and she was paying the ultimate price now. She wanted to last it out, needed to more than anything. Who did Cato have if not her? It wasn’t fair of her to leave him, but who was she to deny that giving up now would be easier than fighting for it, only to meet this fate another day. Resting her head against his shoulder, she let out a shaky, slow breath. In secrecy, she hoped this would end soon, that no help would come. Her next words were quiet, hardly managed out. Maybe he could mistake them for something generic, rather than her true thoughts.  “I’m sorry.”

“We should get a puppy!”

  She didn’t bother hiding the excitement, a large smile spreading across her cheeks. To say that her relationship with Nate was an odd one was an understatement if any. He had been none to eager to start up a legitimate thing with her, (( admittedly, understandably so )), but things had been going well. The two had been ‘steady’ for a short while now, just recently moving in together, but this was something new. she couldn’t tell if he was serious, but she hoped he was. Although she was in school, it was online classes, and while he was away at work his house could be so lonely. A puppy would be the perfect thing for this household. Could she call it that yet? “I do really like dogs. And I wouldn’t mind taking care of them– It’d give me something to do while you’re away. I think that’d be really damn cool.”

“I’m gonna lay down and die for like half hour okay?”

  With a sweet smile, she closed the space between her and the hotel bed. Although she didn’t personally understand how exhausting medical conventions could be, she felt the sympathy for him. Crawling into the bed and laying on top of him, she nodded in acknowledgement. “Let me know when you wanna come back to life, kay?”

“I did not mean for stripping to come out of this.”

     Awkwardly, she clasped her hands together, placing them in front of her body. He was always doing this to her– telling her it was wrong, what they had. Calling her a kid, saying they couldn’t do it anymore. She couldn’t take it anymore. She wanted to prove that she wasn’t too young for him, that she could be just as mature as the other women he knew, that he’d been with. When he’d invited her over for dinner, she’d figured it was the perfect time, but she should’ve known better. She should’ve known what shit he would’ve pulled. With a heavy sigh, irritation clear in her voice, she turned to grab her sweater from the couch behind her.      “You never mean for ANYTHING to come out of anything, Nate.”