#because just because she probably won't see what we say doesn't give us free reign to say anything

[bookwyrminspiration]

I found the artists Instagram and I love her art but my gosh what is with the cover

For anyone curious, here's a link to her IG! She is a very talented artist, though there is a big difference between doing a single piece you can put all the thought and detail you want into it, and illustrating a graphic novel.

Between being asked to use a different style than her typical one (as she said on her tumblr), and the simplifying necessary for a graphic novel (though not as much so for a cover), and probably much more, it definitely was not what many of us were expecting.

I don't think it's bad--although I will say I think the layout of Fitz's face is wrong for the angle, a technical critique--it's just very different from the example art we've seen of hers prior. Which makes sense, but is still something to get used to.

There's also what others have said about it not feeling like it embodies keeper, but I'll go into that in another ask about the cover :)

Anyway! I want to very clearly emphasize my support for the artist, she has a massive task in front of her and a fandom with high expectations. I don't think she's paying attention to us or what we say, but either way. Even if the cover isn't what we thought or expected (honestly I forgot it needed a cover), she clearly has skill and artistic knowledge I'm curious to see in the rest of the novel--which I think will be a better judge. Covers are all played up, but the book is the real meat of it and, I think, more important.

[wromwood]

Aw thank you for being interested! :3

I've put more details about this thought experiment under the Read More:

Note: I've decided that for now, transmasc!Lydia's name is "Dylan," and that's how I'll refer to him in this post.

First, here are the backstory changes I've developed that don't directly impact the show, but would hopefully inspire how the actors work off each other:

In this version of the show, Dylan has already come out to his family, is socially transitioning, and - depending on how old he's being played in the show - he can even be physically transitioning. [Obviously, everyone's transition is different and starts at different times, and Dylan doesn't need to be on HRT or fresh off surgeries to show he's transmasc. This also gives a bit of freedom for the actors who would want to play transmasc Dylan; they won't be pressured to look/sound either pre- or mid-transition. Personally, as a transguy who has been on T for about five years and happily has facial hair, I'd play Dylan as a 16-year-old who got on T about two years prior to the events of the musical.]

Dylan's mother was the most supportive person in his life regarding his transition. She accepted him right away and was always by his side as he started making his first choices about his identity. This is yet another reason why losing his mother hurt Dylan so much. He is, without question, a man, but Dylan's mother was one of the few people who made him want to be a good man, a man she could be proud of. After losing her, Dylan loses sight of this and feels free to argue with and play tricks on people, like we see happen in the show itself.

Dylan's father Charles isn't transphobic, but he certainly didn't know how to feel about the whole "transgender" thing when Dylan first came out. And as anyone who has seen the musical knows, Charles doesn't want to talk about complicated emotions. Any connection Charles made with Dylan regarding his transition was facilitated by his wife. Ironically, losing her is what fully pushes Charles to "embrace" Dylan and (superficially) support his transition. Dylan's identity becomes less of a way to learn more about Dylan and yet another reason why Dylan has to look towards the future and forget about the past. How can he be so hung up on his mother's death when there's a stereotypical vision of manhood that he has to work towards? Obviously, Dylan resents this, which is why he still is hostile towards his father, even with Charles learning the name, pronouns, etc.

Delia is... interesting about Dylan's identity. She's definitely supportive, and will loudly proclaim so. She probably has loads of connections in corners of the LGBT community that are bizarre even to the most unconventional gay Tumblr users. However, just because she's supportive doesn't mean that she doesn't step on any toes. Delia still presses bright colors and happy thoughts on Dylan, which Dylan hates, and Delia takes Dylan's sexuality (he's gay) as a sign that he still likes feminine things, due to that assumption a lot of people have that gay=femme. (This would also explain her "No Reason" number being a kind of girl talk, and her saying the universe should be seen as a female best friend.) Because of this, Dylan constantly feels uncomfortable around her, which gives him free reign to mess with her like he does in the script.

Now for some in-show notes:

The yellow dress in Act 1 for the dinner party becomes, of course, a yellow suit. This is Delia's idea of a good gender-affirming gift.

Maxie Dean has a line during that party that's something like "Didn't you use to have a daughter?" In this version of the show, that would actually be Maxie remembering Dylan before his transition. Charles would correct him, saying "He's my son now: Dylan."

Additionally, Maxie's joke after Lydia introduces herself ("Are you afraid I'll marry her?") would likely get turned into a remark like "Are you afraid there's still a chance I'd marry him?" It's not as direct as before, but I think it'd get the point across.

Beetlejuice's dynamic with Dylan isn't all that different than his one with Lydia. The wedding subplot is also still in place, as musical!Beetlejuice doesn't seem like he'd mind the idea of a gay marriage at all (and, as he keeps saying to differentiate himself from the movie version, the wedding motivation is purely for the "green card thing" anyway). The only embellishment I'll add here is a visual sign that Dylan (at the start of Act 2) starts trying to emulate Beetlejuice. I think it'd be cool if, alongside his gothy attire, Dylan begins wearing a tie like Beetlejuice's, or a coat like his, or some other piece of clothing that he can just as quickly take off and abandon once Dylan embraces his family again. This would be a way to show that Dylan was in danger of letting his masculinity model Beetlejuice, and that he needed to be guided on a better path before it was too late.

This is all I can think of for now! Thank you again @rainybeetles for being interested. Feel free to reach out if you wanna talk about this more!

You know, it's one thing to have thoughts that you know probably no one but you will be interested in. But it takes some real nerve for your brain to get incredibly excited and invested in those thoughts, just to make it that much more disappointing to not have someone to talk to about them.

My most recent example of this occurring came from thinking about the Beetlejuice musical, and who I'd want to play if I had the opportunity to be in an amateur production of it. Obviously, my first answer was the main man himself, Beetlejuice. But then I just HAD to think:

"Honestly, I'd also want to take a crack at Lydia Deetz. But as a transguy, I'm still not totally comfortable with playing a female role. If only I could be in a production where Lydia is a transmasc teen instead, maybe named Dylan or something. Yeah, transman 'Lydia' would be a cool role to play."

Now I'm on day three of thinking about transman Lydia/Dylan. I've been going over all the scenes, thinking about little changes to make, thinking about backstory and character dynamics and arghhhhhh it's so frustrating because my idea only has an enthusiastic audience of ONE.

[randomsnakesimp]

Okay. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna take the leap and say: Phobos is the victim (sorta).

Quick disclaimer: I am going to abuse plot holes and cartoon logic for my cause in a very nitpicky way. If you dislike that, I can completely understand, and I hope this warning will save you a lot of reading.

Also, this won't go into just headcanon territory, I'll put those in a separate post. Everything here I'll try to keep based on actual information from the comics and what I made of them.

That said...

Let's take a look at this scene:

(for a quick translation of the important part, the mother says: "No, Phobos, Meridian is meant for your sister. That's the law. The crown is hers.)

What we can see here are a few very important things:

1. Phobos is at most 5 years older than Elyon.

2. The name "Phobos" is not an edgy nickname he gave himself. Five-year-olds don't go around calling themselves Phobos. So his parents, for some reason, gave him that name.

3. His mother is very adamant about him not even touching the crown and reminding him of his sisters' birthright.

So, after establishing what I would call more or less facts, what else can, relatively savely, be deduced here?

- Since Elyon never noticed anything weird about herself, she can't have aged slower than earth children. So neither can Phobos. This would mean that, as she was kidnapped after her mothers death as a baby, he would have been five. So, he either tried his best to rule at age five, or the council we see as Elyon rules stepped in for him for a while

- this would then mean two things: we need an explanation as to why Miriadel, Alborn and Galgheita fled explicitly from Phobos (I'll give my explanation a bit further down) and second, Phobos' reign of terror wasn't even thirteen years, and a lot of that time he was a child/teen and could not even have been mature enough to rule.

- This also means that Kandrakar pulled up the veil when Phobos was at most five, likely younger, and that the so called "Seal of Phobos" also existed at that time, as both the veil and the seal are seen in the flashback depicting Elyons abduction. For Kandrakar, this, too, I will try to explain soon, but as for the seal, I find it most plausible that the theory @ror-witch used in their fanfiction, of the seal being a royal heirloom and named after each ruler, is true.

- His and his mother's relationship was neither as bad as some assumptions go, but neither was it that good, probably, or at least it wasn't in his perception. See how his memory is of her cradling the baby the entire time and talking more about his sisters birthright than about what he has/can do? Yes, it's only a short memory, but I think it's clear that it's a summary of what he remembers of his mother.

- Phobos desire to rule Meridian does not stem from something deeply sinister, but rather from a childish spite. Five year old Phobos probably just wanted the crown cause it looked nice and shiny, and he was fabulous even back then, but after his mothers words, he sulked and decided to show her. That's his motivation.

So, now let's go a bit further and look at some other things we can deduce from the rest of the comics:

- Phobos has a huge dungeon, a wall of roses that turn people into more roses if they touch it and his plan for the annihilation of Meridian is "Well, Cedric and I hide in the castle and...we'll see". He hates the people of Meridian, but he doesn't seem to have it in him to directly attack anyone until Elyon is there and even here, when he has her knocked out in their duel or locked up as Endarno, he isn't unnecessarily cruel. He's not evil in nature, he's more of a very dangerous child throwing tantrums. ( Cedric is kinda similar, and they both start losing it toward the coronation, but I sincerely believe that before that, there would have been a chance for them to come around )

- The only person he ever tortures or even hurts directly is Cedric. Because one, he likes Cedric and so gets more extreme emotions around him, and two, Cedric never says anything, and just plays it of afterwards, so I don't know if he even fully realizes what he's doing, like a child hitting someone. If Cedric ever just said "Stop it, you're hurting me", Phobos would probably need an entire week to process that input.

- Phobos is VERY reclusive, and he doesn't want anyone to have even pictures of him, and while that could be a God complex, I get some highly insecure vibes out of it, in a vulnerable narcissist kinda way, in that he is massively overcompensating. I gotta admit, though, that I cannot put my finger on why, so maybe take this with a grain of salt and decide for yourself if you agree.

- Kandrakar never orders the guardians to help Meridian in any way, just to make sure nothing oozes out. They likely pulled up the veil for their own protection, so Phobos wouldn't be able to spread far enough to become a real danger, rather than to protect innocent people, as clearly the Meridian people mean shit to them

- while the guards are widely feared in Meridian, Cedric seems to be viewed as... not very frightening or important, as some random merchant feels comfortable clinging to his cape (and rightfully so, apparently, as Cedric just tells him to piss off and doesn't care any further). This further leads me to believe that Cedric is rather unhealthy devoted to Phobos and his tantrums while their shitty ass reign leaves a lot of free space for unsuited people to become guards and tyranize the people.

- the King and Queen seem to have died in rapid succession, and shortly after the scene shown above, yet she looks perfectly healthy in that scene.

Now, what do I make of all this?

I believe the line of events to be as follows:

I don't think Phobos traveling back in time is a viable theory for mainly two reasons: I think his mother would be less chill around him if she saw/heard about his reign herself, and I believe that it would have been mentioned somewhere along the way if that were the case. Instead, what I believe happened is that the oracle had a vague vision of Phobos nearly taking over Kandrakar. Deciding in their random mood swings that today was a day of action, they had the people of Meridian informed that the next male born to a queen would become a dangerous tyrant, pulled up a veil and set their guardians to make sure nothing oozed out.

The veil, of course, made the people of Meridian feel trapped and a horror of the unborn prince who would ruin their lives spread.

So, when Weira gave birth to that prince, a full blown panic spread, so much so that she, in a fit of hysterical emotion, named him after that boust of panic. Of course, people tried to kill the prince basically from the moment he was born, and he was met with barely concealed resentment.

Soon after, Weira and her husband died - whether they were killed, or fell ill, or died in an accident, I have no idea, but I wouldn't completely rule out an assassination either aimed at Phobos and accidentally hitting them or the strain making at least one of them fall terminally ill.

Either the people rioted and Phobos' magic panic reaction or the leftover loyal guard was enough to fight them back, or the people succumbed to their fate at this point, slumping into the state of despair seen throughout the comics. But in the end, five year old Phobos had to be handed the throne. I assume the council still had some say at this point, but he did manage to get all pictures of him destroyed - this order was likely due to the fact that they were mostly caricatures.

So he grew up with the very volatile combination of a shitton of power and no one able to tell him if he was being stupid on one hand, and feeling unloved and unwanted on the other. He withdrew, likely also due to countless assassination attempts or things he perceived as such, and went into a negative feedback loop of being unable to mature and take responsibility, therefore being a shit ruler, therefore being hated, therefore having no one to help him, therefore being unable to face and grow from his mistakes, rinse and repeat.

So, Meridian was plunged into chaos, yet he seemed fine more or less just sitting in the new playroom he made for himself in the gardens, sporadically giving out an order or two and having generally no idea about anything that didn't directly concern him.

Enter Elyon. Now, she send him of the rails, as she was a danger to his lifestyle AND a reminder of all the sentiments he'd be drowning in alcohol if he wasn't too much of a recluse and education denier to know of that option. He doesn't even try. He just lets Cedric, the one person he trusts, handle her, like everything else, and somewhat plays along sometimes, when he feels like it. This is where he passes the point of no return and starts actually trying to kill people, culminating in him creating an army to wipe out Meridian. I still believe that even at this point, in his head, what he's doing is just throwing a nice toy out the window just so his sister won't have it.

[itsadamcole]

i might fall apart

fem!reader x finn balor

Finn gets injured during a match, and he is being forced to relinquish his nxt title, and reader tries to do everything she can to help him, including giving him his Christmas present a little bit early ... "if you don't hug me right now then i might fall apart"

word count: 5.4k+

warnings: sad!finn, a scene where reader gets unintentionally hurt by finn, crying, angst, fluff, smut

— meant to get this out yesterday but oh well. i was busy with classes and my birthday dinner so here this is —

masterlist || request an imagine here

~ 18+ content below - read at your own risk ~

You sit in the backstage area by the medical area. You are praying that the injury that Finn sustained in his match isn't as terrible as it looked.

Finn was in an NXT match with Karrion Kross, and Kross powerbombed Finn onto the apron. As soon as Finn landed on the ground, he grabbed at his previously injured shoulder. The shoulder that was injured against Seth Rollins at Summerslam 2016 for the Universal Championship. He looked like he was in actual pain, not just kayfabe. You've gotten good at realizing what was real and what wasn't.

This seemed extremely real.

The door to the medical area opens and you see Finn come out. His arm is in a sling and he looks upset.

You run over to Finn and you say, "Hey, what did they tell you?"

Finn looks at you and says, "The same thing happened tonight that happened at Summerslam against Seth. I dislocated my shoulder, which I knew because of the pain. They told me I tore my labrum again, and I need surgery again, and I have to give up my damn title again."

He's angry and he's upset, you can hear it in his voice. You say, "You've worked through it once. You can do it again, and I'm right here to help you, Finn."

"I didn't get my title back last time," Finn says. "I might as well say goodbye to this one forever too." He takes his NXT title and throws the belt across the room. It bounces off a wall and lands on the floor. The noise of the belt hitting the wall makes you flinch.

You stare up at Finn and say, "They didn't know how to book you on Raw, Finn. They know how to use you here in NXT. You'll get your title back."

Finn looks down at you and you can see tears forming in his blue eyes.

"This is the second title I have to relinquish in WWE," Finn says, voice cracking. "This is the second time I've had to deal with his injury. Y/N, what if I can't do it again?"

His words break your heart and you take the hand that's not in the sling. You look into Finn's eyes and say, "You can. I'm here to help you. I'm here to make you feel better when you're feeling down."

You try to give him a reassuring smile. Finn says, "If ya don't hug me right now then I might fall apart. All I want is a hug from ya right now."

Careful not to hit his injured arm, you wrap your arms around Finn's neck. He wraps his free arm around your waist and buries his face in your neck.

Finn sobs, just once, into your neck. The sound alone is enough to make you tear up.

He's hurting, mentally and physically, and you have no idea how to help. You hate that Finn's feeling like this. He just got the NXT title back in September, and here he is four months later. He's relinquishing when he had so much planned for his reign. He had a goal of beating Adam Cole's 403 day reign.

All of that is gone now because of his injury.

"Finn!" you hear Karrion Kross say behind you. Finn looks up, his cheeks wet. "Oh, no. Finn, I'm so sorry. I added too much power. I didn't mean to. I'm so sorry that this is happening to you again. It's my fault."

You look up at Finn and he says, "It's not your fault at all, Kross. Ya executed the move perfectly. My arm was just a little too high and I dislocated my shoulder. I shoulda learned from last time. Don't blame yourself. It's not your fault."

Scarlett walks over and looks at me. "Is he okay?" she asks, referring to Finn.

"Dislocated shoulder and torn labrum," you say. "He needs surgery."

She looks sad as she says, "I'm so sorry, Finn."

Finn shrugs with his good shoulder and says, "It's fine. I'll be fine. Make sure Kross carries that title with pride because we all know who will become the fourth two-time NXT champion."

All of you give a little laugh before Finn walks over and picks up his title. He looks at the belt and looks at you. You watch and wait to see what he does.

Finn walks away from you, Karrion, and Scarlett. You look at Karrion and Scarlett in confusion before following Finn.

You find him knocking on William Regal's office door. You keep your distance as the door opens. "Mr. Regal," Finn says. "This doesn't belong to me anymore."

Regal looks at the title that Finn is holding out to him before he says, "You have to relinquish, don't you?"

Finn nods as he says, "Dislocated shoulder and torn labrum, which needs surgery. I'll be out for a while." Regal takes the title from Finn's hands.

A soft tsk comes from Regal and he says, "Such a shame. You've been a good champion, Finn. I can talk with Hunter and we can work something out for when you come back. Maybe work you into a storyline where the title is involved."

You listen to the conversation as Finn nods. "That sounds good," he says. "Thank you, Mr. Regal."

"Best of luck in your recovery, Finn," Regal says. "Please keep us updated on when you'll be back."

Finn says, "Of course. Have a good holiday, Mr. Regal. I'll see ya very soon."

Regal gives him a curt nod and walks back into the office with Finn's title. The door closes and Finn looks down.

He walks away, walking toward you. He has no idea that you're standing there. Well, until he looks up at you as he walks away from Regal's office. "How long have ya been standing there?" Finn asks, approaching you.

"I followed you when you walked away," you explain. "I wasn't being a stalker, I swear."

Finn looks upset as he says, "So ya heard the whole thing." It wasn't formed like a question.

You nod and say, "I saw you relinquish your title. I know how much that had to hurt but I'm proud of you."

He sighs and says, "This isn't the first time I've had to relinquish a title, Y/N. It hurts but not as bad as the first time I had to."

You've never had to give up a title because of injury so you can only imagine the pain Finn is in right now, either mentally or physically.

Then an idea pops into your head. You have a way to make Finn feel better. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, and you're planning on going out to attend the annual WWE Christmas party at the Performance Center with Finn. You can give him one of your presents a little earlier.

"I know," you say. "Why don't we go home and watch some movies? I can make whatever snack you'd like, like popcorn or cookie dough." You smile, trying to help him feel better.

Finn says, "I would love to but I'm beat and really just wanna sleep. Rain check?"

Your smile fades and you nod. "Yeah," you say. "Of course."

The car ride home is quiet and you can almost feel how upset Finn is. You drive and Finn sits in the passenger's seat. You steal a couple glances at him at red lights or stop signs and find him staring out the window.

You pull up to the house and watch as Finn walks inside, not saying a word to you. You sigh and walk inside behind him.

Finn lays on the couch and puts something on TV. You make your way upstairs to the bedroom.

Maybe you won't be able to help Finn. He's completely shut you out and you don't know what you can do to help since he won't talk to you or accept any help.

After you get changed into pajamas, you crawl into bed. You end up crying yourself to sleep, frustrated and slightly upset.

***

A noise in your bathroom wakes you up. Finn is cursing up a storm and you get up to investigate.

You stand in the doorway to see a soaking wet Finn Balor on the bathroom floor. A towel is around his waist. He's gripping his injured shoulder.

"Finn!" you say, running over to him. You kneel beside him and make sure he's okay. "What happened?"

He looks up at you and says, "I fucking slipped and fell, that's what happened. I fell and hit my shoulder on the ground." His voice is cracking and you can tell he's trying not to cry.

You wipe away some of the water droplets that are falling down his face and you say, "You're okay." He looks away from you. "Hey, look at me."

Finn takes a second before turning his attention back toward you. "Tell me what you need," you say. "I want to help."

"Can ya magically fix my shoulder so I can go get my title back?" Finn asks, accent getting thick with anger. "No? Then I don't want your help."

He pushes you off of him, puts his arm back in his sling, and walks into the bedroom. You fall back against the glass door of the shower, hitting your head on the door lightly. When you tried to brace yourself, you fell on your wrist awkwardly and now it hurts. You probably sprained it.

You sit on the ground and hold your wrist. You sigh, trying not to cry.

After holding back the tears and the sobs for a few minutes, you just give in. Finn's never pushed you away like he has. You're starting to doubt your relationship with him and wondering if you can survive this.

It's Christmas Eve and instead of spending time with the man you love, you're sitting in the bathroom crying because you don't know if your relationship will last to tomorrow.

After you don't emerge from the bathroom after a few minutes, Finn comes back to check on you. He finds you curled up in a ball, crying softly. Your knees have been brought up to your chest and your forehead rests on your knees. You hold your possibly sprained wrist.

"Y/N," Finn says softly. His voice startles you and you look up at him. Your eyes are red and puffy from crying. Finn's heart breaks at the sight. His moment of anger hurt you, emotionally and physically. He can tell by the way you're holding your wrist.

Slowly, he approaches you. He kneels in front of you and says, "Y/N, baby. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt ya."

He reaches out to touch your knee but you flinch away from him. You know what happened was an accident but you're terrified to let him touch you.

Finn drops his arm and looks down. "I'm so sorry that this happened," he says. "I really didn't mean to hurt ya. I would never intentionally hurt ya. I'm so sorry."

Tears continue to fall down your cheeks as you cry, "I just want to help you, Finn. I want to help you get through this and I want to help you feel better."

He says, "I know ya do. I acted in a moment of anger. I was frustrated and in pain. I know ya are trying your best and I'm not making it very easy for ya. I'm so sorry, Y/N."

Quickly, you crawl over to Finn and hug him, crying into his good shoulder. Finn wraps his free arm around your shoulders.

The two of you stay like that until your knees begin to hurt. When your knees begin to hurt, you stand up and look down at Finn. "If you don't want to go to the Christmas party then I understand," you say.

Finn gets up and says, "Let's get a brace on that wrist before we talk about any Christmas parties, okay?"

You nod in agreement before Finn grabs an old wrist brace out of the cabinet under the sink.

He leads you out to the bedroom and you sit on the bed. Finn undoes the brace so you can slide it on the injured wrist. It's a fully metal brace so the wrist is completely immobilized and you can't move it. You look up at Finn and say, "Thank you."

"Don't thank me," he says. "I caused this. I hurt ya."

You say, "Not intentionally. You didn't mean to do this, and it's my own fault for trying to brace myself."

Finn looks away from you and says, "I pushed ya. It's my own fault."

Shaking your head, you say, "Do not blame yourself, Finn. This was neither of our faults, okay? It just happened. I'm braced up and I'll heal in a few days."

He nods and stays quiet. You take his free hand and play with his fingers. Finn watches you as you play with his fingers.

After a second of silence, Finn says, "I'm gonna call the day after Christmas to get a surgery scheduled that way we can get that done with and I can start my physical therapy and I can get back in the ring sooner rather than later."

You nod and say, "I'll be right here if you need anything, Finn. You tell me what you want and I'll be willing to help you."

Finn intertwines his fingers with yours and says, "How about we spend the day together since it is Christmas Eve? We can bake cookies or watch Christmas movies. Or we can go to the Christmas party. Whatever ya want to do today since I was being difficult this morning."

"All I want is for us to spend the day together," you say. "Baking cookies sounds fun. We don't have to do to the Christmas party. I'd much rather stay in anyway."

Finn pulls you up and says, "Then let's go bake some cookies. I've never baked cookies so I'm excited."

You stand in front of Finn, looking up. "How have you never made cookies before?" you ask, surprised.

"I've been training to wrestle since I was young then I travelled the world," he says. "I never really got the chance to bake cookies."

Almost running out of the room, you say, "We're baking cookies. Right now. Let's go."

Finn lets out a soft laugh. It's a laugh that you've missed in the past 24 hours. You make your way into the kitchen. You're wearing a black crop top with red and black checkered pajama pants. Probably not the best thing to be wearing when baking cookies. Especially when things can get a little ... messy.

You rush to get all the ingredients out, putting them on the kitchen island counter. This counter is the biggest and gives both you and Finn some extra room to move around.

Finn walks into the kitchen as you get out the ingredients out. Eggs, flour, sugar, vanilla, baking soda, baking powder, chocolate chips, salt, brown sugar, and butter. You grab a bowl and a spoon to mix everything together. You grab measuring spoons and measuring cups.

"So," Finn says. "What do we have to do?"

You look at Finn and say, "I can measure out ingredients and you can put them in the bowl. You can mix if you'd like too. I'll hold the bowl."

A smile spreads across Finn's lips and he nods. He joins you at the counter.

You start with sugar. You measure it and hand the cup to Finn. He takes it and pours the dry ingredient into the bowl before handing it back to you.

This goes on until you get to the flour. You decide to be a little dirty and fake a sneeze, sending flour into the air. Finn says, "Y/N! This is my favorite shirt!"

You look at his black t-shirt and say, "You have tons of shirts that are black."

Finn says, "Yeah, but this one was my favorite."

Laughing, you brush the flour away. "Okay, crybaby," you say. "I'll make sure it's nice and clean."

While you clean up Finn's shirt, Finn takes a handful of flour and throws it at you. Your face and shirt is covered in flour. Finn lets out a chuckle.

Your jaw almost drops and you say, "Finn! I was being nice and cleaning up your shirt for you."

He smiles and says, "Oops. I'm sorry, Y/N."

You grab a handful of flour and throw it at Finn, dirtying his shirt again and now he has flour all over his face and in his hair.

"Oh," Finn says. "That's how ya wanna play, hm?"

You've realized what you've done as Finn takes another handful of flour. "Finn," you say. "Don't you dare. I swear to Go-" Before you can finish the sentence, flour flies at you. You're now basically covered in head to toe with flour. "Okay. I see what you wanna do."

You scoop flour up in both your hands before throwing it at Finn. You giggle and start to back away as Finn takes another handful of flour.

By this time, you're on the other side of the counter. He throws it at you and it makes it to you. You reach across and grab flour, throwing it at Finn before running out of the room.

"Come back here!" Finn calls. You giggle and hide behind the wall that separates the living room and the kitchen.

Footsteps lead from the kitchen into the dining room. "Y/N?" Finn says in a singsong voice. "Come here."

You cover your mouth to keep quiet.

Finn walks past you into the living room from the kitchen. He doesn't see you and that gives you the opportunity to sneak attack from behind. You wrap your arms around Finn's waist. You're met with flour. You laugh and look up at Finn.

"You're cleaning the flour up in the living room," you tell Finn.

Finn's taken off his sling at this point. You notice when he turns in your arms. He asks, "What if I don't?"

You smirk a bit and say, "Then you don't get your Christmas present later on tonight."

He smiles and says, "Oh really? Hm, then I might clean it up since I won't get my present if I don't."

"You better," you say, leaning up and pecking his lips. "Now let's go finish these cookies then we can go get cleaned up."

Finn smiles and walks back into the kitchen with you.

The two of you finish the cookies. You clean up the flour around the kitchen and Finn disappears into the living room while the cookies are in the oven.

Once they're done in the oven, you lay them out so they can cool down.

Footsteps enter the room and arms wrap around your waist from behind as you lay out the cookies on a cooking rack. "So," Finn says behind you. "What's my Christmas present since I cleaned up the living room?"

You giggle and say, "Patience, Finn. We still haven't talked about that Christmas party and if we wanted to go."

Finn says, "I'd rather stay in tonight. I really don't feel like putting a smile on my face when I don't mean it, especially for a whole night."

You turn in Finn's arms and says, "Whatever you want to do. Today's about you, Finn. If you wanna stay in then we'll stay in."

He smiles and says, "You're the best, Y/N. Thank you for trying to be here for me even though I know I'm probably not making it very easy."

"Injuries are never very easy to go through," you say. "I've had my fair share of knee injuries so I understand. I'm just trying to make it a little easier on you."

Finn brushes some flour filled strands of hair out of your face. "Ya are the best," he says. "I promise to be easier on ya and I won't take my frustrations or anger out on ya like earlier."

His hands move up to cup your face and you say, "Take whatever you want out on me. Anger, frustrations, or whatever it is."

Finn smiles and says, "So, Christmas present?"

You laugh and say, "Relax, Finn. We still have to get cleaned up. Showered and changed because I'm not eating a meal with you while you're covered in flour."

His hands leave your cheeks and he says, "Then let's go get showered and changed."

You smile and say, "I have to finish getting everything ready for dinner. I'll shower later."

Finn pouts and he says, "Come on, mo gra. Come shower with me." He smiles trying to convince you to come with him.

"Finn, I have to get dinner ready," you say. "If I don't make dinner now then it won't be ready before dinnertime. And I have things planned for later."

Your boyfriend sighs and says, "Dinner better be amazing since ya won't shower with me."

You giggle and say, "Dessert will be better. Now go get cleaned up."

"Fine," Finn whines, pouting as he walks off. You smile and get dinner started.

You make lasagna with a special meat sauce your mom always made. Finn takes about 45 minutes upstairs.

Dinner is in the oven and that's when you go get showered and cleaned up.

It takes a while to get the flour out of your hair. At least twenty minutes and three washes. Then you wash and shave the rest of your body.

Finn got a little dressed up for dinner so you decide to get into the dress you bought for the party tonight. It's a tight red dress. Long off the shoulder sleeves, and the skirt ends right past your butt.

You would usually wear a bra and panties with the dress, but because it's just you and Finn tonight, you decide to just go completely commando.

You dry your hair and you tie it up in a tight ponytail on the top of your hair. You smooth out the dress before walking downstairs. You go barefoot as you walk down the stairs.

Finn's setting up for dinner, his arm in his sling. He wears a white button up with black dress pants. He's wearing socks but not sneakers or any other shoe. He even put on cologne.

You smile and watch from the doorway of the dining room as he lights a few candles. That's the only light in the room, plus the light coming into the room from the kitchen and foyer.

The living room is lit up by the Christmas tree and the lights lining the fireplace. There is a fire going on the fireplace.

Finn finally looks up at you and he smiles when he sees the dress you're wearing. "Look at ya," he says, walking over to you. "Ya look stunning, Y/N."

You smile and say, "You don't look too bad yourself, Finn."

The oven starts to beep, signaling that the lasagna is done. You made meatballs to go with the lasagna and you cut up some Italian bread you bought at the store the other day. You serve the lasagna and the meatballs with the bread. You say, "Dinner is ready."

Finn sits at the table and helps himself to some lasagna. You smile and start to eat dinner.

After a few minutes, Finn says, "Ya look beautiful, Y/N. Seriously. Just seeing ya in that dress makes me feel better."

You giggle and say, "I'm glad you like it. I was going to wear it to the party tonight."

"Well I'm glad ya decided to wear it tonight," your boyfriend says. "It would have been a shame if I didn't get to see it on ya."

You smile and say, "Well now you get to see it on me."

Finn smiles and the two of you continue to eat the dinner.

After dinner, you wash the dishes. You hum quietly to yourself as you do. Finn stands behind you against the island counter in the kitchen.

As you finish up the last dish, Finn comes up behind you, putting his free hand on your waist. He squeezes gently, making you squeal a bit under his touch. "Finn!" you giggle. "Please. I'm doing the dishes."

Finn smiles behind you and says, "I can't help myself. Ya just look so good, mo gra."

You finish up and turn the water off. You turn in Finn’s arms and say, “I have a surprise for you, Finn.”

His eyes almost light up and he asks, “Christmas present?”

Giggling, you say, “I have to go get it. Wait for me in the living room.”

Finn nods and walks into the living room. You walk upstairs into your bedroom. You look through your closet for Finn’s surprise.

In a box is the surprise.

It’s a lingerie set. A sheer red top with a very low cut neck, revealing most of your cleavage. There are thin white straps on your shoulder and the neck is lined with a fluffy white fabric. The bottom of the sheer top is lined with white lace. There is a pair of almost sheer lace panties that go with the top. A thin black belt wraps around your body right under your breasts. You take the Santa hat that goes with it and put it on your head after you take your hair down out of the ponytail.

You smile and take the brace on your wrist off, throwing it by your bedside table.

Sighing, you walk downstairs. “Close your eyes Finn!” you call.

You hear him laugh and say, “They’re closed.”

After he says that, you walk into the living room. You see his eyes are closed so you stand in front of him.

Smiling, you say, “Okay. Open your eyes.”

Finn’s eyes open and his blue eyes are immediately on your body. He smiles and asks, “Is this my surprise?”

“It is,” you say, twirling around. “Do you like it?”

He gets up and he says, “I love it. Ya look beautiful. Ya can pull anything off.”

You giggle and look up at Finn. “I’m glad you like it,” you say.

Finn’s eyes are on your body and he says, “Ya always know exactly what I want for Christmas.”

“That’s because I know you very well, Finn,” you say, untucking his shirt. “And I know exactly where your mind is right now.”

He gives a little laugh and he says, “Then I assume ya know where I would rather be than right here.”

You take his hand and say, “Only if you promise to be careful and not overwork yourself.”

Finn nods and says, “I promise. Let’s go.” He walks off and you follow behind him. The two of you run upstairs and into your shared bedroom.

His lips are on yours as soon as you step over the threshold into the room. You pull off the hat and throw it to the floor.

Your fingers work at unbuttoning his shirt. He takes off the sling and you get his shirt unbuttoned.

Finn throws the sling to the floor and you pull off his shirt. You run your fingers over his abs and his fingers hook onto your straps. He pulls them off your shoulders and you pull your arms out of the sleeves.

He pulls the top down and it falls to your feet, leaving your upper body exposing to Finn. Finn’s lips attach to your neck and you sigh. “I love you,” you say.

Finn pulls back and makes eye contact with you. Your fingers have started unbuttoning his dress pants as he says, “And I love ya, mo gra.”

You kiss Finn, slowly and more passionately than the kiss you shared with him earlier. You get his pants unbuttoned as Finn slips his fingers into your panties, his fingers run through your folds. You gasp against his lips and sigh.

Gently, you push Finn onto the bed so he’s sitting on the mattress. You lean down and pull off Finn’s boxers. His semi erect member pops up against his stomach and you bite your lip as you get on your knees in front of him. You take his member in your hand and start to pump him.

Grunts and groans leave Finn’s lips as he gets harder in your hand. You soon replace your hand with your mouth. You bob your head up and down. Finn’s fingers are in your hair, grasping a bit as you move your head. You suck gently as you move, earning some groans from Finn. “That’s it, baby,” he moans. “Just like that.”

Finn’s praises motivate you and you moves faster and suck harder.

Right as Finn begins to twitch, signaling that he’s about to release, you pull back from Finn. He lets out an unintentional whine and you smirk. “Don’t worry, Finn,” you say, standing up. “I’ll take good care of you.”

You pull off your panties and Finn moves back on the bed. You crawl up to him and kiss him as you straddle his member. You slowly grind against Finn and sigh softly against the soft kiss.

Finn grips your hips and mumbles into the kiss, “If I’m not inside of ya in a few seconds, I will actually lose it.”

You giggle and push Finn onto his back. You leave kisses on his chest and you sit up. You position him at your entrance before lowering yourself onto Finn’s erect member. You sigh as he fills you up.

Once completely inside you, you begin to move your hips so he moves in and out of you.

The room slowly fills with the sounds moans coming from you and Finn. More from you than him. You throw your head back and close your eyes.

Finn’s hands are on your thighs as yours rest on his chest so you can keep your balance.

“God,” you moan loudly. Your breathing becomes labored and quick the faster you move. “Fuck, Finn.”

Finn helps you move your hips. “Fuck, baby,” he groans. “Ya move so well. Ya fuck me so good.”

His praises make you smile as you move faster. “You’re still my champion, Finn,” you gasp. “Always.”

A smile forms on Finn’s lips as you both climb higher and higher toward your orgasms.

Your walls begin to clench around him as you reach your high. “Finn!” you cry out. “I’m about to come.”

As soon as you say that, Finn moves so he’s on top of you. He’s holding himself up by one arm, his good arm, as he begins to thrust roughly into you. You moan and scream Finn’s name as he slams into your g-spot every time he moves.

It doesn’t take long for both of you to reach your climax. You come around Finn as he releases his seed into you. He falls over onto his good shoulder, pulling out of you. You smile and roll over, kissing Finn softly as you both catch your breath.

After messily making out for a few moments, you pull back and meet Finn’s eyes. You smile and ask, “Did you enjoy your present?”

Finn smiles and nods. “Always.”

“You can have your present anytime you until midnight tomorrow night,” you explain. “That’s the second part of your present. Whenever, wherever. It’s all up to you.”

Your boyfriend smiles and says, “I like that present. It’s my favorite present.”

You giggle and kiss his lips. “I hope you’re feeling better now,” you say. “About the whole relinquishing your title.”

Finn meets your eyes and says, “With ya by my side, I know I’ll get through this. I was upset about losing my title because of my injury but I realized that I never needed a title to be happy. I just need ya.”

You smile as Finn speaks. You lean in and kiss him, sparking the second round of sex that you’ll have over the next twenty four hours.

[crqelsummer]

something about the tablet scene still bugs me. i can't figure out what it is. there's a small semi essay below the cut of where im at with it, but feel free to chat with me in the notes. i could be looking at this through a really weird lens.

on one hand -- yeah thats definitely a 'dad what the fuck' kind of scene. it was used narratively to show daniel slipping/absorbing more of cobra kai/eagle fang's teachings and as a 'wow daniel's cool now' thing but it is messed up to do that to a kid's belongings. i want to establish that now, scaring a kid is never the right way to go about parenting.

but what also bugs me is that...well. some people have suggested that daniel should've just talked to anthony. that anthony's further actions were going to be colored by his dad's story of being bullied, which i could see. if anthony had been a different character. someone who's been shown to take what his parents to heart -- yeah that'd work.

but i genuinely don't think it would, because it is anthony larusso in canon. he doesn't respect his parents authority, and canonically never has. i doubt it would've changed much. he probably would've read it as "just another story dad tells" and gone back to the way he was already acting. to me? yeah, it probably would've. but, and this is what i'm 75% sure a lot of others are sort of forgetting, i'm (and you are probably not) also not someone who's terrorized a kid before. i'm not someone who's had free reign in her life before to the point that all of anthony's actions were possible. i'm someone who grew up and is still growing up with parents who would likely employ similar tactics like in the tablet scene.

(given that's on the assumption ck keeps his characterization consistent)

and...yeah??? i don't blame him. amanda and daniel have established themselves as "softer" (for lack of better wording) parents in their kids' lives. i wouldn't say absent, but we haven't had many examples of them holding a consequence/line with their kids before and actually following through with it. yeah, they took sam's phone in season one but she still went to that party in the canyon anyway and as far as i remember, there wasn't any reprimand there either. after the fight, they told her to stop practicing karate -- and she still did anyway without...any further notable repercussions. daniel's had multiple times with anthony (notably in ep 2 of season 1) trying to get him off the tablet where he just...gives up? says whatever and moves on. then we rarely see this kid other than when he insults johnny and is generally just typecasted as an annoying zoomer kid.

(i think what bugs me most is just the lack of effort on their parts. but. anthony's not a main character and his name isnt robby keene so.)

which, paragraphs to say -- i don't think daniel was completely wrong. i think he was terribly misguided. and that what he did is a slippery slope into authoritarian/abusive parenting if he continues that way. but for the purposes of that single, mostly stand-alone scene, there had to be genuine consequences. daniel was forced to be firm in the moment because anthony was pushing boundaries he'd established and hadnt respected. what he said afterwards, i don't fault him for. maybe its because ive heard it so many times, but like...yeah. he will be in for a world of pain if he doesn't change his ways. i mean, kenny beating him up in the final episode is probably one he won't ever forget, but i highly doubt any parent wants to see their kid suffer from real world consequences. even so, now instead of really heeding his parents warnings and potential lessons, he has to sit with the bruises and injuries of this fight and is forced to think about his actions.

tl;dr ughhh i'm not condoning daniel's actions. please. children are still very capable of change, but not in two seconds and with a chat over dinner. sometimes authoritative (not authoritarian. those are two very different things) parenting is something you need to do. and yeah...that might appear as what happened.

[14cookiesinajar]

I didn't..... I didn't intend to write a whole essay it just... Happened. And I'm not even sure how my interpretation lines up with other analysis and it's actually been awhile since I've sat down and watch the entire series. And- anyways....

So to start off just in general, Utena had the 90s anime budget of 3 dollars and the gum Ikuhara stole off the bottom of his desk in the Sailor Moon offices lol. So the use of stock animation was a must while also trying to keep it captivating. They also ended up using it rather well because one of the core ideas in Utena is repeating cycles. Revolution. It has a double meaning but since it's been awhile since my last watch and can't be sure what is established in what arc I won't go into that much. They were also counting on the fact it's been at least a week since you saw the last duel vs just 20 minutes ago. And you couldn't just YouTube the absolute destiny apocalypse song on demand so you needed your weekly fix.

The second thing is exactly what officialsoupstore brought up, the duels are less about the duels and more about what came before it. The characters being the meat.

I am not sure if you watched the first recap episode or not, usual anime logic would tell you to skip it but with Utena it's actually kinda vital. I have never seen another show do something like that? Like yeah maybe a recap will introduce a character like Utena does with Akio but it also gives you info on the duels it doesn't give you anywhere else in the show. The duels all have names. They all have a THEME leading up to Revolution. We are only ever told the names of the first arcs duels and their associated colour. You're left to guess the others. 

But with that information... the duels have nothing to do with sword talent, it's very much about the ideas the specific duel is about. In universe. Not just the story as a story. In order to win your duel, you have to be RIGHT. That's why Utena always wins. Not because she's better or because the duel has anything to do with her, it's because her opponent is in the wrong. 

Shiori in the Black Rose Arc. She finds out she's in the locket. She finds out the power she has over Juri. She says she wants to be free from Juri's shadow, but she ALSO is thrilled at the power she has over her. It's a contradiction, she can't be free while still clinging to her. She's wrong and Utena is neutral to it, so she loses. Wakaba states everyone looks down on her, including Utena, but she's wrong AND Utena is right, so she loses. Juri loses her first duel which we know is named amor. And she almost wins it. Utena gets so close to getting the rose but Juri gets the upper hand. Because Juri is actually fighting for love. Juri is right and Utena is neutral , so Juri will win. It's only when Juri begins to mock miracles and and starts fighting to prove Shiori wrong that she actually loses. 

So a lot of the fights Utena wins simply by default less because she has to, if that makes sense. She wins her first duel against Saionji because the duel is named friendship and she IS fighting for friendship. Saionji tries to do a rematch for the friendship duel but what he and Anthy has isn't real so he loses. I'm rambling sorry moving on. There's a trend though. 

The fights aren't personally against UTENA  but they are still parts of the dueling game Utena fully committed to after her fight with Touga. She is the reigning champion on her purpose for fighting in the game having the most merit/correctness? In the eyes of the game. So they have to pit their personal reason for fighting for a miracle against hers. It's not always personal for Utena in a specific duel but she's still committed to winning the game despite her stated disgust with it. This is probably best shown in Miki's first fight. He originally tells Utena he doesn't really care and doesn't want to fight. It's only when he is manipulated into seeing a fight as the only way to get what he wants that he finally duels her. This pattern happens for the rest of the show but his is the most pronounced because he specifically stated he never planned to.

Yeah this got away from me.

Something interesting about watching Utena AFTER already being a fan of a few Utena-like shows is how much less captivating the duels get after the first 12 episodes (peak fiction)

I have a lot of smaller complaints about the black rose arc that made it terrible to watch, but the repetitive entirely impersonal fights is a big one. Utena has no reason to fight the people she's fighting. THEY don't have a reason to fight Utena. And they don't ever make a point out of that like they almost do with the first black rose duel (Kanae being pitted against Anthy because somewhere way deep down in her mind she blames Anthy for her fiance not giving her any attention? Not knowing Anthy is a victim of Akio's herself? And a man in power uses that to further his own goals? Yeah there's A Point there, even if it doesn't come up for the rest of the arc)

I'm still only at the beginning of the next arc so I'm hoping it'll be better. It's at least got a bit more visual spectacle, but it is always. The same spectacle. The cars are cool but they don't even change color or models or anything, at least the black rose arc tables had character-relevant props on them? They've still not really got anything to do with Utena or Anthy. Utena still wins all the time because she Has To or else the plot won't work. It's too important for her to be the top duelist for her to lose. Except whenever eventually (hopefully) she has to lose for an emotional low point to happen.

Anyways back to my point uhhh GOD I MISS THE DUELS FROM REVUE STARLIGHT AND GUNDAM:THE WITCH FROM MERCURY

Vague spoilers for both btw (also I'm not claiming they're better shows overall, definitely not Revue Starlight as much as I love love love it, and Witch From Mercury is only really better for 1 season+a bit of season 2)

Revue Starlight doesn't make the stakes of the duels so high that the protagonist has to Always win, so I don't just entirely mentally check out of them for that. The conflicts are all personal and/or the occasional bigger picture setup (and then the movie's are all VERY personal). And they're not always between the protagonist and a side girl! And on top of that like. The fights in the show visually are exactly what you'd expect from "the guy who was mentored by Utena's director makes a show about magical girls who are all theatre kids". And the movie only gets more insane with it (those cars in Utena WISH they were Wagamama Highway). And having the actual characters both talking AND singing out their conflicts is always fun.

GWitch has a very similar setup with Suletta fighting people for the role of groom to the war robot school's principal's daughter. But also the dueling system has an added level of being how EVERYONE at school can settle conflicts and makes demands and bets on these duels between each other. Plus there's other emotional conflicts that go into it. It takes a while for Suletta to get used to this system and start acting on it herself and insighting duels for herself and her bride's and friends' sakes. And then when she gets too used to and comfortable with the duel system, the show turns and goes "this isn't how war works, loser" and the betting stops mattering to characters because they start ACTUALLY JUST FUCKING KILLING PEOPLE AND THERE'S TERRORIST ATTACKS AND POLITICAL CONFLICT AND EVERYTHING SUCKS FOR A WHILE BECAUSE WAR AND CLASSISM AND THE CYCLE OF SIN BAD. And Suletta now suddenly has to deal with THAT. And it doesn't stop there! More personal shit happens! God I wish the second season wasn't so rushed, it absolutely reeks of "this show was forced to be shorter than planned because it was openly gay". The first season was so perfect. Why did this happen. At least it got to have a full story, as butchered as it is...