#because i. use. my finger to draw because my ipad is literally half broken and cannot use pens/stylus with sensitivity 😭

[k1tty5]

finally got clip studio paint and i am having a ball with the brushes,, here are some sketches of block people + one of my ocs i did while testing it out :J

[marikaaajoy]

my relationship with digital art and how BNHA salvaged it

I just wanted to let out my thoughts but I can only do it here :>

This might be a downer for some people but I’d like to share it with people here. BNHA means the world to me and this is why.

I first started drawing when I was 7 years old in 2006

I think it’s ugly now, but 7 year old me remembered being so proud of this because this is a drawing of my stepfather. This is the only drawing I have that was from my childhood. I think the aim here is to draw in anime style BUT I didn’t even watch anime back then. I had a classmate who loves anime and she taught me to draw in school. Drawing became a favorite hobby immediately after that.

Then it was 2013 and I was 14 years old. Drawing is still my favorite thing to do besides being on the computer. I love anime at this point too. My parents bought an iPad for the whole family, but I was almost always the one using it. I discovered an app called ArtStudio and thought “Wow, I can draw without making a mess and with only my fingers” because I was always too lazy to take out my drawing materials and clean up afterwards.

These were my first digital drawings. The pirate one was the very first. I got obsessed real fast. I can color so easily, undo any mistake, layers are a blessing too. There was just so much more freedom. I always sucked at coloring in traditional art and I didn’t like the mess (idk my hands get so messy traditionally)

The next year, it was 2014, I was 15. My birthday is in a couple of months and I knew my parents were planning to buy me something pricey (I think it was a laptop) so I approached them and asked if they could just buy the Wacom Bamboo as a present which was cheaper anyway and I even explained how it works to them and how it would allow me to draw on the computer instead of the iPad. I tried really hard to be convincing. I would have prepared a powerpoint presentation if I had to.

They did give me the wacom as a present. They even gave it to me months before my birthday so I could use it already. I thought I was the luckiest teen in the world with my parents.

These are a collection of my favorite works from 2014 to 2016. The middle one was my second drawing using wacom and Paint Tool SAI. I was a part of a lot of fandoms in those years lol

It gets downhill from there :/

April 2016, my mom and I moved to Japan, while my stepfather and siblings stay in my country. It was tough. For someone who is obsessed with anime, you’d think I’d be thrilled to live in Japan.

I was. Though only at the first few months. It’s not the same as it’s portrayed in anime (I should’ve known but I used to be blinded by anime). It was just lonely. The language barrier sucked and then lots of financial and family issues until my parents split. I got my first boyfriend too and I thought I was blessed by the nicest boy, but the relationship became extremely toxic but I didn’t have it in me to walk away.

All the shit that happened affected me mentally and emotionally. My biggest outlet which was digital drawing, was also out of the question because I did not have a computer/laptop when we moved to Japan. We left it in our home for my stepfather and siblings, even the iPad. I have my wacom with me, but no computer/laptop to use it with. I couldn’t draw.

I tried though. I used my phone to draw, but it wasn’t the same. Then the life problems got piled up, things got worse, and I just lost motivation in anything. Literally anything. From 2016 to 2019, I stopped watching anime, I dropped out of all the fandoms I’m in, I stopped watching my favorite TV series or movies, and I stopped drawing. I even got a bit disconnected with my friends who lived in my country (we talk regularly online). My family was broken so I gave all my attention to my toxic relationship as well which made everything worse too lol

I didn’t draw besides from a few scribbles and the drawings above. I did try digital art on my phone a couple of times again and even posted them on my IG, but they weren’t any good. Eventually, I got mentally and emotionally drained and dropped out of senior high school. I just stayed home for almost a year, leeching off of my mom. I felt even more worthless and my life had no direction at this point. Nothing mattered anymore.

April 2019 or so I think, my (ex)bf bought me a laptop. He says it’s a gift, but I think the real reason was to make up for something horrible that he did (which is stupid because money /gifts won’t resolve anything). I have a laptop. I can draw again, but I didn’t. I didn’t care, I wasn’t interested in drawing anymore anyway.

Welp. June 2019, I went back to my country. My (ex) bf stayed in Japan. The distance helped me end the relationship and my friends were there (they always were) to help put me back together along with two trips to therapy. I went back to finish my senior high school in my own country this time. That said, I have to stay in my country for school (but I was happy because I didn’t wanna go back to Japan yet when the breakup was still fresh and with going back to school, my life has a direction again.)

It was weird. I remember just being sorta lost and confused because I used to put my time, effort and everything into my previous toxic relationship, which was now gone. I was free and I had so much free time that I didn’t know what to do with it. I got so used to doing nothing and being nothing.

This is where BNHA enters.

Dunno when it started, but I started seeing Bakugou frequently online. It’s usually just Bakugou. I knew who he was because my friend suggested BNHA to me back in late 2018 I think but I didn’t watch it since I’ve lost interest in everything at that point in my life.

But ye I thought he hot af but I still didn’t watch BNHA.

But then for some reason he REALLY kept appearing in my social medias and it was really frequent. The last straw was when I saw a pic of him in UA’s gym uniform and thought “damn boi aight imma watch bnha for u” (y’all gotta admit he looks good in those colors with his combat boots XD )

I watched BNHA. Fell in love with Iida along the way. Then I switched to Tokoyami (but Shoji was hot too so aaaaa), but then angry emotionally-constipated sea urchin head caught my heart again. But oof. BakuDeku moments really made me feel some type of way I haven’t felt since I moved to Japan. It felt new but nostalgic. I fell hard in that ship.

I started obsessing. From memes to posts to fanfictions to buying merch to filling my room with BNHA posters. I realized I was reverting to my old self from the time I was still happy and it was thanks to BNHA (and the good people who helped me through the worst too)

Shit I wanted to draw BNHA, I thought.

I mean, I have a laptop, I still have my wacom and drawing softwares. I could totally draw digitally again if I wanted to.

But guess what

I can’t :c

My hand physically cannot draw. My drawings don’t look the way I want them too. 3 years of not drawing really destroyed any skill I had. I was back to square one.

September (yeah they’re ugly, I laughed at it). If you’re wondering why I drew on paper, it’s because, for some reason, I really CANNOT draw digitally. I mean it. I can barely sketch digitally at this point. The lines and shapes just doesn’t come to life. They’re just scribbles. But somehow, I can kinda draw on paper with a ballpoint pen. But yeah, that was the best I could do at this point in my life

After that, I still tried to draw, to regain my old art style, but it didn’t happen... It just doesn’t look or feel the same. Drawing used to be fun. But during this phase, it felt like my ugly drawings were just mocking me (probably was just too emo that time lol)

Weirdly, around a week or two I think, after my half-assed attempts at drawing, I managed to draw digitally somehow o.o

I did a Midoriya and Todoroki drawing like this too. It was my first post here on Tumblr I think. The annoying part here is that I cannot draw digitally unless I draw on paper first, take a pic, and then trace the lineart. I couldn’t draw directly on the computer. Granted, drawing on paper and drawing on digital is very different for me in the first place anyway. But it was still a pain. And it still looked like shit. I can only draw stiff poses :/ it seems like my brain decided to delete all data about anatomy and posture and backgrounds. My lineart here is even messy af. It still really not the same as my old style.

By 2020, I think I got my old art style back. On March, I made this. This took me 27 total of hrs to make.

Right now, I think it’s not bad, but back in March, I was disappointed with the result. This is when I finally broke down crying because it didn’t look good enough and I hated that it took me 27 hrs to draw “bullshit.” I was angry at myself for losing interest in drawing for 3 years when I could’ve used that time to improve. I had to start all over again and it still didn’t look good. (Current me thinks that the drawing above is alright. I was just a lot harsher to myself back then. Used to have a lot of issues but I’m doing great now)

I cried myself to sleep that night. Woke up wanting to cry again. I wallowed in sadness for a couple of days. Eventually told my friends what’s up. Got some pep talk. Even talked to my sister (she’s great, she always hypes me up with my stuff and sometimes I think she’s my biggest fan with how she appreciates my drawings and I’m really grateful for that).

My world turned a 180 and I was weirdly positive after all that crying because brain chemicals and shit. I had a revelation. If I hate how my art style looked so much, then I should have been putting effort in changing my art style, not trying to regain my old art style (that I don’t like anymore)

I researched a lot. I analyzed different art styles and anatomy again. I did everything I could think of to find a style that works for me. I might have even neglected school for a bit to focus on digital art lmao

After all that work, I posted a fanart of middle school BakuDeku in their classroom. I love that fanart so much even if I probably have better ones by now because that was the first fanart I made that I felt like I could be proud of and it was the first one I made in my new art style. It was a milestone for me.

March 2020, I moved back to Japan and without the toxic relationship, I’m a lot positive now. Happy. I’m myself again after the previous bad years. I’m still continuously learning though, trying to improve, but at least, now, I found my own art style :) I really suck at interacting with people online, but I’m always grateful for the support everyone has been giving my fanarts. I’m happy when my content makes people happy.

This is why BNHA is important to me. The series is great alone, but it’s not just that to me. BNHA is so much more. It’s what made me find the passion to create again, only this time, it’s focused on drawing (I used to write, but now I just draw, but maybe I’ll write again for BNHA).

My family is supportive with my love for BNHA, but I think they don’t know the deeper reason why I love it. Sure, I was fine living on with nothing much going on in my life. I’ll finish school, get a job, work until I die or something. It was okay. It was the way of life. But BNHA gave my life color again. I wasn’t just blindly going through life anymore. I have something to look forward to everyday now. BNHA even became a bridge to other things. Ever since then, I’m a lot more open to people, to try new things, to explore and not just live through life and waste away. I got better at leaving my comfort zone. I’ve never been happier in my life :D

Thank you for supporting my fanarts. Thank you so much for giving me a chance to express myself through BNHA. I hope to make more content in the future and improve even more :)

[hookedonbooks22]

A Pain in My... Back

Summary: Hospital AU. One Shot. A bit of a Meet-Cute. Mary Margaret has just had surgery and won’t stop pointing out all of her cute nurses to Emma in an attempt to get her back out in the dating field. It’s a little embarrassing.

Word Count: 4519

Rated: T

A/N: This is very loosely based off of my mom attempting to do the same thing to me a few weeks ago. All of the medical/hospital terms I used in this came from my memory of that experience so I apologize if I get anything wrong! Also, as you can probably guess, my story doesn’t have the same ending as this one! Ha!

ao3

It wasn’t like her sister-in-law intentionally sought out opportunities to embarrass her.

She was just kind of oblivious to how loud she spoke.

And the strong pain killers the hospital was giving her was not helping matters.

“Oooohhh, he’s even cuter than the last one!” Mary-Margaret whisper-shouted to Emma from her hospital bed, propped up to just the right incline with precisely two pillows behind her head and one under her knees. It was the only position that didn’t put too much pressure on the surgical site in her lower back (too much time spent in an awful desk chair at the school she was employed at and over-exerting herself to help literally everyone do everything had done a number on a few of her discs).

She was referring to her new nurse for the next few hours. The one who was currently erasing the name Eric to replace it with Phillip on the room’s whiteboard, giving Emma a view of only his blue scrub-covered backside and a head of sandy curls, and absolutely hearing everything that came out of his patient’s mouth.

“Don’t you think so, Emma?” The blonde could only widen her eyes in response as if to say please cut it out. Her brother tried to cover his chuckle with a cough after she turned her slightly-altered wide-eyed gaze on him. This one said I will injure you real hard.

Nurse Phillip turned towards them with an amused smile and found an innocent-looking pixie-cut brunette, her polite husband, and an annoyed Emma. With her eyes glued to the floor, she could feel his gaze assess her for a moment and she knew he realized that she was the Emma who had yet to comment on the level of his attractiveness.

“So, I’ll be your nurse until eleven and then someone else will take over for the night. Let me take a look at your chart and ask you a few questions,” the man said in in an accent as he made his way over to the travelling computer stand positioned in the corner. As he went over things with Mary Margaret, Emma payed close attention as she had since she’d gotten here. She worried and that made her keep a watchful eye over everything.

In the process, she noticed a gold wedding band on his ring finger as he tapped away on the keyboard.

“Looks like you aren’t due for more Dilaudid for a few hours, but let me know if the pain gets worse. You want to stay ahead of it. Can I get you anything while I’m here?”

Emma watched as Mary Margaret smiled slightly too brightly at her nurse and then looked towards David to see his reaction, but he was too firmly engaged in the episode of Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives playing on the flat screen hanging on the wall.

“Nope, I think I’m fine for now!” she informed him.

“Okay, your new PSA should be in in a little bit. Press your button if you need me,” Phillip said as he began to take his leave.

As soon as the door clicked shut, Mary Margaret pounced (figuratively, of course-she couldn’t even stand without the aid of another person). “Emma, did you see how handsome he was?”

“Mary Margaret, did you see how married he was?” Emma shot back while holding up her left hand and wiggling her naked ring finger. “I know the pain killers are making you a little loopy but you failed to notice the shiny band on his finger. And you apparently failed to notice how many times I’ve told you I’m not interested in dating, unmarried nurse or otherwise.” While Emma could admit that these people were good-looking in a removed sort of way, she wouldn’t feel an attraction because she wasn’t interested (couldn’t allow herself to be).

Her sister-in-law harrumphed. “Emma, I know you’ve had your heart broken, but not every man is Neal,” (just the mention of the man who broke her heart and sent her to jail for his crime was enough to sour her stomach), “We just don’t want you to be alone.” She looked to David for support, but he was now practically drooling at the television, his eyelids drooping. While usually he was as attentive as Emma, he didn’t function well on little sleep. They had to leave Storybrooke at 3 am to get to the hospital (an hour outside of town) in time this morning and he left straight from work, having insisted on taking the late shift so Emma could sleep.

“I’m not alone. I have you guys. That’s all I need,” Emma assured her. She knew how much the couple loved her and she really didn’t believe she needed anyone else. “So, seriously can you stop trying to pimp the nurses out to me? It’s probably against some kind of rule to date a patient anyways. Or, you know, the family of a patient,” She made sure to keep her tone light so Mary Margaret would know she wasn’t really angry.

“Fine,” she acquiesced, laying her head back as she started to nod off. She’d only been able to carry spurts of conversation before the meds would knock her out. As soon as Emma saw her eyes slip shut, David let out a soft snore from the recliner beside her. God, they were so in sync it was almost disgusting.

She decided she’d spend the afternoon reading the mystery novel she’d downloaded on her iPad the day before, getting as comfortable as she could on the small couch (that apparently pulled out) in front of the window.

The PSA interrupted a half an hour later, knocking a couple times on the door and drawing Emma’s attention but only rousing Mary-Margaret. The woman seemed kind as she introduced herself as Jasmine and began taking Mary Margaret’s temperature, blood pressure and heart rate. After she’d written her name on the board and left to get more water, Mary Margaret went back on her word.

“Wow, she is really beautiful! Did you see her hair?” And while that could have just been a kind observation, the sly, probing look she shot Emma gave away her true intent.

“I’m not attracted to women, Mary Margaret. And even if I was, I’m not interested in dating ANYONE!” Her voice may have risen a little higher than she’d intended it to, because Jasmine returned with a slightly startled glance in Emma’s direction. She thought for a second about leaving for a while to get some space (and maybe some coffee) but her brunette best friend shot her a very apologetic look.

And since Mary Margaret’s comments weren’t annoying enough to make her leave (her annoyance could never overpower her worry), she hunkered back down with her iPad and continued reading, a soundtrack of snores and mechanic beeps floating through her ears as she grumbled about nurses being there to make sure her sister-in-law got better not to be lusted after.

“Lass,” came a low-toned whisper near her ear, a nudge to her shoulder accompanying it. When she cracked her eyes open, she was greeted by the blackened screen of her now-dead iPad. Peeling the device off of her face, she looked to her right to see where the voice had come from and found a raven-haired man crouched beside her where she laid on the couch.

She immediately shot up to her feet and reached for her gun at her hip before realizing she didn’t have it because she wasn’t taking a nap on the break room couch at the police station, she was in the low-lit hospital room that Mary Margaret was staying in.

And she hadn’t been woken by a criminal, she’d been woken by the woman’s latest nurse if his scrubs were anything to go by. He held up his hands in a placating manner anyways.

“Easy, lass. I didn’t mean to startle you. When I came in, I saw you were sleeping and thought maybe you had accidently fallen asleep when you had intended to head home,” the man told her earnestly (and she would know with that superpower of hers). This nurse had an accent too but it was paired with cool blue eyes and a stubbled jaw that both seemed more roguish when he was backlit by the darkness outside the window.

“What made you assume that?” Emma asked him in a hushed tone (she didn’t want to wake the other brunette in the room). They told her earlier that she was welcome to stay the night and informed her that the couch pulled out into a bed.

David tried to get her to go home to sleep, insisting that he stay but his sister told him he needed rest in his own bed since he’d been up for over 24 hours. When he tried to argue that Emma had to work in the morning (Graham, Robin, and August took all of the shifts today), she reminded him that she was good at sleeping where she could (reminded him that she didn’t have very desirable sleeping arrangements before his family adopted her at fourteen). He shot her a sad smile but relented.

“Well you had that device smashed against your face and your clothes don’t really look like something one would purposefully sleep in, with the leather jacket and all,” the nurse answered her with a point to her upper body. “I do like the red, though.” This was accompanied by a smirk and a cocked eyebrow. Mary Margaret would love that.

Looking down, she discovered that she, in fact, was still wearing her red leather jacket but that didn’t really surprise her considering she hardly ever took it off. However, it wasn’t the most comfortable thing to sleep in. Neither were the jeans and knee-high boots she wore.

And that couch certainly wasn’t the most comfortable thing to sleep on when it wasn’t in bed-form. She could feel a crick forming in her neck and reached up to rub at it with her palm. She winced when it made contact, not wanting to think about how stiff it would have been if she’d slept like that the whole night.

“Uh, yeah, well. I mean I did plan to sleep here, but I had planned to change my clothes and pull out the couch first, so thanks for waking me I guess.” When Emma pulled her hand from her neck, she attempted to run it through her long, blonde tresses but stopped short when she found how knotted it had gotten.

“Well I’ve learned it’s a bit of a bugger to maneuver the couch about so I can give you hand if you’d like.” Emma tried not to notice, but he had a kind smile and dammit, he was pretty handsome.

“Yeah, sure. Thanks.” She went to grab the bag she put in one of the guest cabinets in the room so she could change into to the yoga pants and t-shirt she brought.

“Of course, love. But first I need to get everything checked out with your…” he trailed off in an inquiry as to Emma’s relation to his patient.

“Sister-in-law,” and as Emma said it, they both turned to look at the woman sleeping in the hospital bed and found that she wasn’t sleeping at all. In fact, she looked like she’d been very entertained watching the exchange.

“You’re my nurse for the night?” she asked him as Emma walked towards the room’s bathroom.

She was just able to catch him saying, “Aye. My name’s Killian,” as the door clicked shut behind her.

While she changed her clothes, she tried not to focus on the fact that Killian was by far the most attractive person to walk through the door that day and wondered why Mary Margaret hadn’t tried to say something to her about it (and why she felt trusting enough towards the man to not watch his every move as he did his job like she had with all the others).

When she left the bathroom (tugging at her clothes and feeling exposed without her trusty armor), the nurse was telling Mary Margaret he was going to grab something and heading towards the door.

Emma made her way bed-side. “So, aren’t you going to tell me how handsome he is?”

“No, I hadn’t really noticed. I think the others were much better looking,” Mary Margaret replied in the quietest voice she’d used all day. Emma was shocked. Her medicine had to be affecting her sight.

“Are you kidding? That guy is totally hot!” She got a sinking feeling in her stomach when she saw Mary Margaret smiling slyly at something over her shoulder.

“I much prefer being described as ‘dashing’. Or maybe even ‘charming’,” she heard in Killian’s lilting accent behind her. When she turned to face him, she realized he’d only moved to the other side of the curtain stationed in front of the door to retrieve something from the cabinet at the front of the room.

He sent her another smirk as he peeked around the curtain and she whipped her reddened face towards the woman next to her, the weird look on her face prompting Emma to believe this had been her plan all along and that she knew just how attractive her nurse was.

And though she wanted to blame her for the embarrassment, she accepted the fact that she was the one who opened her fat mouth. She tried to hide her shame with her hair but remembered she’d put it up in a ponytail so instead she walked to the window and stared down at the cars in the lot below.

She got payback when Killian returned because he intended to check the drain in Mary Margaret’s back. Emma knew how much the modest woman hated exposing her back to the nurses because the incision fell so low. When she complained earlier about it, Emma reminded her that it was their job so they were used to it and that someone had to be all up in her lady parts to insert her catheter. She blushed furiously and exclaimed, “I don’t need reminded! Especially since they still have to remove it!”

After a while of Killian speaking with Mary Margaret about her medicine and the following morning (when they would remove her catheter and Dr. Whale was supposed to come and check in), Emma felt him come up behind her.

“Erm, did you want help with that couch now?” he asked her, looking sheepish as he rubbed a spot behind his ear. She realized she probably made him feel bad. It wasn’t his fault he caught her commenting on how hot he was. Nope. That was all on her brother’s terrible wife who she was considering disowning after she was discharged.

“Yeah. Yes. I would really appreciate that.” Emma made sure to catch his eyes so he knew she meant it.

It really didn’t take long or much effort to get the piece of furniture situated and Emma figured she could have probably accomplished the task easily on her own (but she definitely didn’t mind getting a view of Killian’s biceps as they flexed with each lift and pull).

When they finished, Mary Margaret’s snoring could be heard over the beeping of her monitors (but she had fallen asleep with a tiny smile on her lips, so smug).

“I’ll be right outside if either of you needs anything. And since we didn’t do this earlier,” Killian stuck out his right hand, giving Emma a view of the tattoo on his forearm, “I’m Killian Jones.”

“Emma Swan.” She took his hand with a polite smile and saw a curious lift of his brow.

“Not Nolan?” Emma wasn’t sure if he was just confused or inquiring about her marital status. His eyes glanced down towards her left hand.

“The Nolan’s adopted me when I was sixteen and by then I was already too attached to the name Swan to change it,” slipped right out of her mouth and she immediately pulled her hand back, surprised she made the admission so easily but if she was honest, she could see a look in his eyes that seemed kindred.

“Ah. Well I think I like Swan better anyways.”

Killian lingered for one, two, three moments before turning towards the door and making his leave but not before throwing a smile back at her.

It took her a while after that to relax enough to get back to sleep and while the couch was more comfortable this way, it wasn’t that much more comfortable.

Just as she felt herself begin to drop into that sweet descent of sleep, she heard her name being called a tad frantically. It made her heart do a little hop and she was up and running to the source in a second.

“What’s the matter, Mary Margaret? Did the pain get worse? Are you okay?” The woman was squeezing her eyes shut and looked more pale than usual, which was saying a lot.

“I just woke up and felt really dizzy and nauseous. I just don’t feel right. I think it’s from the pain medicine the nurse just gave me. I didn’t eat much dinner so I think it’s making me feel sick.” Emma didn’t know if this was normal or not.

“Okay, I’m going to go get Killian. Just take deep breaths.” The blonde was out the door like a shot and looking towards the nurse’s station. She found the back of his head as he typed away at a computer screen.

“Killian?” He turned quickly at her voice. “Something’s wrong.”

When they’d returned to the room, Mary Margaret didn’t look much better.

“What’s the problem, love?” Killian asked her. Emma answered for her while running her hand soothingly across Mary Margaret’s shoulders.

“She said she woke up dizzy and nauseous and that she didn’t feel right.” Her worry was prominent in her voice.

“Okay. It’s probably just from the medicine. It’s notorious for this effect sometimes. Did you eat anything for dinner, Mary Margaret?” He didn’t seem too worried and that calmed Emma a little bit. She also noted that he seemed like he knew first-hand what the “notorious effect” felt like.

“Just a little bit of broth and a couple crackers.” She sounded a little faraway.

“Okay, I’ll go get you one of those flavored ice cups and some cold water. I can get you some medicine for your nausea too if you want.”

The woman nodded. “Thank you.”

“Lie back, close your eyes, and take big breaths. I’ll be right back.”

When the ordeal was over and Mary Margaret started settling back down, Emma sat in the recliner beside the bed and tapped her foot while keeping a close eye on her.

Killian spoke to her as he finished up logging everything into the computer. “Relax, darling. She’s fine. That nausea medicine should help her. She’ll probably sleep the rest of the night. You should get some rest too.”

“Yeah, okay. Thank you. I will.”

(In case anyone was wondering, her superpower did work on herself. And it indicated that she was lying.)

She spent the rest of the night watching whatever she could find on the television from the recliner at a low volume and ignoring Killian’s exasperated looks and comments every time he came in. The PSA came in a few times too, but wasn’t very chatty considering it was the middle of the night.

Of course, Emma was also stewing about how she had found herself attracted to this man (and misplacing her frustration onto Mary Margaret for it). It was just that she had a soft spot for people who cared for the people she loved, and while she knew that was his job, Killian also went beyond that and cared for her too. And while some of the other nurses seemed a little stiff in their ministrations, he had an air about him that said I have been where you are and want to help in any way I can (he helped her pull out a goddamn couch after waking her up in case she needed to get going).

Plus there was this strange connection she felt with him that she couldn’t even really put her finger on.

David returned at 6 am and gave her a look that said Seriously, Emma? You have to work in a few hours and you’ve clearly gotten no sleep. And then he gave her a whispered speech that literally said, “Seriously, Emma? You have to work in a few hours and you’ve clearly gotten no sleep.” She was too good at reading him.

“I’ll be fine with a couple coffees in my system. And Graham should be there too. Besides, it’s not like crime runs rampant in Storybrooke.” Emma rolled her eyes. Then switched the attention off of her. She was good at that too. “Mary Margaret wasn’t feeling good last night so I wanted to make sure I was awake if she needed something.”

“Which is what I’m here for, Swan.” Killian said as he entered the room. “Is this your brother?” He asked while gesturing to the man lecturing her.

“Yeah, I’m David Nolan.” Storybrooke’s Sheriff introduced himself.

“Killian. Sorry, mate. I tried to get her to get some sleep. But, alas, she couldn’t be persuaded.” He was clicking away on the computer.

“Yeah, that sounds like Emma. She’s as stubborn as a mule.” Emma’s mouth dropped open. How dare he?

“Hey! Watch it! This mule can kick your ass!” She told her brother, standing up and crossing her arms over her chest.

The laugh Killian let out at that was just loud enough to rouse Mary Margaret. “You’re a tough lass, Swan.”

David’s wife smiled sweetly when he walked over to give her a peck and when Emma looked away from their short private moment, her eyes caught Killian’s across the room. The look he shot her gave her heart a little stutter.

So she didn’t have to think about that for too long, she moved to start gathering up her things. She had to leave in an hour if she wanted to get her proper caffeine fix before she hit the road.

A bear claw sounded good too.

Apparently the time she had to leave lined up perfectly with the end of Killian’s shift because he caught up to her on her way to the elevator wearing a black leather jacket over his blue scrubs and carrying a messenger bag with a Captain Hook pin on it.

“Will you accompany me down to the café for some coffee?”

Really, she only accepted because she was going anyway (at least that’s what she told herself) and she informed him that she couldn’t stay long because she had to get to work soon.

(But, she turned him down when he offered to pay.)

When they sat down, Emma immediately taking a large bite out of her bear claw (that she was very excited to find out they had even if it wasn’t as good as Granny’s), Killian asked her where she worked.

“I’m a deputy in Storybrooke. It’s a few towns over. Takes about an hour to get there.” His eyes widened slightly and she wasn’t sure if it was because of her profession or the drive.

“Then you definitely should have gotten more sleep, Swan!” he admonished her and leaned forward with a slightly worried gaze.

“I know. It’s just that Mary Margaret and David are all I have and I’m a little overprotective of them.” The sleep deprivation was really doing a number on her mouth.

Killian smiled knowingly and placed his left hand over her right where it was resting on the table (she found she didn’t really mind so she kept it there when she usually would have pulled it back). “My older brother and I are the same way. I understand.” Emma looked down to watch the thumb he was moving across her knuckles (had to avert her gaze from the look she saw in the mirror far too often). Her eyes caught on the scars running across the back of his palm and wrist.

“Is that why it kind of seemed like you understood how Mary Margaret felt last night?” she asked him and nodded towards his hand.

He looked at it with a slight grimace. “Aye. I spent a lot of time in this hospital feeling the side effects of a lot of things. I almost lost the hand. Car accident.” Emma could see there was more story there (could see heartbreak in his blues) and realized she wanted to hear it but it would have to be another time. She needed to get going so she wasn’t late. “Which is why I’d like to ask you to drive carefully and maybe text me when you arrive?”

She stood and started gathering their trash. “Is this your way of asking me for my number?”

“Perhaps,” that goddamn smirk, “Well, actually I would be giving you mine.” His smile grew even more genuine as she reached into her jacket pocket for her phone and handed it to him (even though she could take care of herself and she and her brother were both cops).

Killian entered in his number as they headed for the hospital’s exit. They were greeted by a chilling gust of air (if that extra-large coffee hadn’t woken her up, that sure did) and flurries of fluffy snowflakes. She reached in her bag for her grey beanie and when she pulled it over her head, she noticed Killian was pulling on one of his own.

(They had to look adorable: all leather jackets and beanies and shy smiles.)

Emma wasn’t sure where nurses were supposed to park but she assumed it wasn’t the same place she had parked her bug so he must have been walking her to her car and she was glad of his gait beside her because when she stepped on a patch of ice a few feet from her car, her legs would have flown right out from underneath her if his arms weren’t there to catch her.

Her face was red now for another reason than the cold but when she turned in Killian’s hold and found his gaze flickering between her eyes and lips, she decided it wasn’t so bad to be a little embarrassed.

So, while it was probably impulsive and not something she would usually do, she raised up on her toes and pressed her lips to his, both a tad chapped from the air. And while she intended for it to be chaste, it grew a little fiery as they each tilted their heads to deepen the kiss, her insides warming against the icy air.

When she heard someone walk by and grumble, “Geez, get a room,” she didn’t even care enough to be embarrassed.

And when she texted him later in the morning to assure him of her safety, Emma decided she wouldn’t mind dating someone if it was Killian Jones.