#because i always feel like im forgetting stuff
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Two things from continuing to read TVA, bitterness and Marius hating ahead, if you don't wanna see that honestly why are you even on my blog:
Honestly I don't care at all about authorial intent but the way this is written, how Armand narrates his early days as a fledgling, is fucking haunting to me. It's so utterly casual and passive, with just that one little interjection of "this was put to the test". Oh? Who was doing the putting? What was the test? Was the test perhaps Marius starving you to see how many days it would take for you to be too weak to get up, Armand? Was that maybe it? Oh but Marius did it to help him, of course. To teach him his exact limits, for the future! How benevolent. Someone get him a World's Best Maker mug.
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Idc maybe I'm just seeing what I want to see but the "What I mean is, I didn't have contempt for him" reads as protesting too much. Like... it's giving "it's not that I found Marius tedious, just ancient Roman law and his obsession with it and also literally all the things he said and believed".
MORE IMPORTANTLY, though, the ideas in question here are Marius droning on about how the world is getting more just and how wonderful the contemporary world is. Love him telling all that to an enslaved child - WHO HE OWNS - and bought legally from a brothel! Wow, I wonder why Armand might not have a lot of faith in the law or in government institutions! It's almost like those institutions failed him in a profound way!
But no, Armand probably feels that contempt because he was 'born in a dark and savage land'. Y I K E S. Listen... to anyone reading this overlong post who isn't reading the books I can't emphasize to you how much this is Marius's whole thing. He talks about the ~civilization of the West so often. It's honestly nonstop. He's RADIOACTIVELY Eurocentric and if they stay true to the character it's going to be 100x worse in the show because of Armand's changed background.
#i always feel weird posting anything that is like... approaching meta because i forget stuff and miss stuff and im not an expert#take all this with a grain of salt i'm just trying to cope with reading this goddamn book#rose reads tvc#marius die in a fire for real this time
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Jitterbug
#whenever my meds kick in it feels like im gonna piss myself. not literally but its really really feels like it#and now whenever that happens my mind goes back to pancho (grandmas dog) at a xmas party years ago#bc he peed when we arrived bc he was so excited to see ppl and my cousin had to clean it up :o)#well for better or for worse i know that feeling now when im pumped on 20mg of adderall#im still getting used to this whole diagnosis thing cause ive gone untreated and undiagnosed for the longest time. so theres probably a lot#i still dont know and have to learn to get myself to be.. functional on my own? self managing????#i even set up reminders on my phone for work periods meals and stuff. but the problem is actually getting myself to stick to that to a T#because the minute i slack off or something gets in the way it throws it all off until i can be bothered to get back on track. it sucks#at least ive built up other habits like writing notes and setting alarms ahead of time.. but i feel like i could do better#its always hard to change something if youve been doing it wrong for the longest time. especially behaviour and thinking patterns. sigh#in other news my glasses bailed on me so i have to get a new pair sometime. i just realized i never draw my sona with glasses but thats#mostly bc i forget. id love to get some browline glasses like my old pair but im picky and its hard to find one id like for the next 5 year#i also finally managed to collect all the fish in my animal crossing file!!! pulled out a char last week and boom now i have a poster :o)#THAT was a moment where i almost peed myself for real. id love to get all the bugs but i cant stay up late on the switch :o(#yapping#my art#myart#doodles#personal#diary
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FOUR YEARS OF NOXTMS / six characters !
ft. @viiktorious ( my absolute favorite take on viktor, in the sense that no one else could ever really compare. i think you write him so well when it would be so easy for him to be very oversimplified, and one of the most pleasant surprises of this year - at least so far - has been you bringing him back to the dash ! ), @hoggleswart ( i don't know how well documented my 'sarah shahi deserves to be used more in the rpc' movement is here in nox, but i have been leading that charge for so many years and i was already so invested in roshana before you ticked all my favorite boxes in a character. i love ocs connected to existing canons in ways other than siblings or children, and i'm always a sucker for someone achingly sad ! ), @hcldmybroom ( not unlike the above, i have been wanting ambika to become the next big thing for so long that i, again, was always predisposed to loving a character using her ! there is so much - so far - untapped potential for drama with minette that makes me gleeful, and i really, really enjoy what i have seen of them so far ! ), @chacswins ( this guy is always gonna hurt my heart, and i'm always gonna be way more into that than i should be</3 you and sam are neck to neck in my personal 'most anticipated returns' list, and i'm so happy to be able to play around with you in all the angsty ways i've grown to love playing around with you in over the years of friendship and development we've had ! i'm so fond of damien in a way i think doesn't get expressed enough, and so grateful that his existence has provided me with 1. a whole character, in luca and 2. so many new layers for other characters ! ), @tosteelisms ( cara macdonald, my beloved, i am so glad that someone has finally given you a chance to thrive when you have so deserved it for so long ! she's one of my most adored creations, here, and i am so glad that i was able to entrust her into such capable hands ! you came into nox swinging, and i have loved seeing her form ! ), @acritudos ( last, but not at all least. theo nott was talked about at such length for so long that it would have been so easy for him to lose momentum but. of course. that was never going to happen in your hands. he is everything i've always dreamed of and more in terms of all the various dynamics i always wanted - with pansy, with the slytherin gang as a whole, with astoria, with ginny. with everyone, really ! - and of course it would be you that would give me those goods. how on earth could i expect any differently ! as always, i feel very lucky to write with you and develop such complex connections with you, and i hope that never changes<3 ) !
#nox.graphics#mine*#nox.task#i tried to do like. word i grabbed / associated from aesthetics and stuff you have posted + color#even if the color was a synonym to a color. for proper pantone vibes.#im not sure how i feel about it ! alas it's too late and now im done<3#honorary mentions to : sarah's hermione who feels like an especially special character to have this month considering she was the 1st#we ever had !#emily's dwaco who isn't here but always present in my heart same as them<3#lex's grace moody because i can never go without mentioning JUST how much i adore that v sad girl#( but also ismene because .. yes she dead<3 ... but she formed such vital part of the xu's )#( one of my favorite of all time families to be involved in )#and vicky's tempest. who i constantly forget did not exist in canon.#they are SO well written and i am so crazily invested in their story
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so if you romance and ascend astarion you can kick him in the balls when he tries to turn you and it’s just very funny, he’s so pissy about it. so much for the most powerful vampire of all time or whatever, he stamps around like a toddler and then leaves forever
#i’m glad i saved before that choice so i can go through all the scenes i wouldn’t have got otherwise#(‘that choice’ meaning ascension)#im Fascinated by a whole bunch of stuff if you ascend him#like if you succeed on the detect thoughts (or maybe insight i forget) before he turns you to see what he think of you#it says something like ‘he will always see you as degrading yourself while you choose to be with him’ which is just BONKERS INSANE#like not confusing or anything. just wild to include. in a good way; like yeah of course that’s how he feels#and then the narrator follows it up with something like ‘but isn’t that what you want?’#like i’m glad they do actually try to impress upon you how fucked this dynamic is. they’re not trying to make you think it’s a good outcome#(i know there’s discourse about this and it’s very annoying)#(people who are like ‘actually it’s romantic and kinky’ uhh 😬)#(but then people who are like ‘how can anyone think this is ok’ and direct that towards anyone who enjoys playing it)#(like no it’s fun and genuinely interesting and i can see the appeal. just not when it comes to analysing the relationship)#(most people are aware that this is a bad dynamic they’re just playing a game chill out)#(like when i said 😬 about it being romantic/kinky i mean that from the perspective of analysing the story not personal enjoyment)#(anyway. moving on)#like i did that specific bit of dialogue probably a month or more ago and only once (because the test was really hard)#and it’s been creeping around in my head ever since. i love it lmao#i saw a video of that kiss where he makes you kneel a while ago and didn’t quite believe it was a real thing#but no it’s one of his actual default kisses. amazing#like i’m definitely gonna do a playthrough where i get everyone to make the power-hungry soul-destroying choices#and i might have to romance astarion again for that one because he definitely seems to have the most bad-decision relationship content#although he has the most relationship content full stop so it’s not surprising#but i think that’s the only one that notably changes your character during the playthrough rather than just the epilogue#personal#ash plays bg3
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me when character finally starts to feel like a CharacterTM and not some abstract statistician
#its bout eddie's cousin#i can never quite grasp the moment when it's no longer fictional microguy but a real person (to me)#“baby you can drive my car yes im gonna be a star baby you can drive my car and maybe i'll love you” <- her vibe btw#& yesterday realized once again how important it is for me to know what a character looks like#bc i was thinkin bout carlo's father and he's a complicated guy to work with#bc he's deeply self indulgent and it often holds me back likkkkke idk how to explain#some things mean a lot to me and so i try to shove them down deep and smooth them out#and it all comes out not sincere in the end bc being honest is a little scary in this context anyway#(because basically i wanna adjust to what's convenient for others? to put away my personal stuff that actually interests me the most)#i mean i had a vague image of him in my head but it was hm. what it should be? not what i really wanna see yk??#and yesterday i realized exactly what _i_ thought he should look like. i mean like. convincing to me#and just that visual image in my head made it so much easier for me to understand the organics of his character yk yk???#like that made him way more real in seconds?? like i keep forgetting that im makin all this stuff just for myself#random ramblings bc makin fictional stuff will always feel to me as something unbelievable and inexplicably cool. like how tf this works
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Sigh I need to rant about certain people and how there is a background noise of discomfort with every interaction after particular incidents that made me go "bitch you live like this???" but all my typical vent spaces are ones where they might see it and the only ones that they wouldn't see it in are like discord channels that are not for this topic of vent or friends who would be uncomfortable with the topic etc like,,, what do I even do? Stew in it?
#catch me very carefully not saying any details about them or the incidents because i dont want them to knowww#i suddenly understand so much better why my dad stays friends with people who are racist/islamophobic to his face#like yeah theyre fun to talk to and they enjoy the same silly shows as me#qnd when were not talking about The Things its easy to forget about The Incidents#but every conversation feels like im hiding part of myself. it feels like if i stop hiding I'll be crucified#theyre fucking scary bro wtf. i didnt know people like that were real that was always abstract fandom drama stuff#and its not THAT scary but also im terrified after only brief glimpses it could be so much worse but if we dont talk about it I'll never#need to know#im like. king of letting go of the incident anf never talking about it but endlessly rotating it and stewing in it and holding a grudge#ummm. ya. fun times 👍#shout out to my brother for letting me talk about it though they're cool as fuck for that#i need more non-white friends who arent online#or at least arent online in the same circles as these people#tbf i need more non-white friends full stop 😭#i need more friends who are freaks also#if i dont go 'theres something wrong with you' at least once a week then theres something wrong#wait that sounds funny lmao#but yeah i need people who are weird and gross and disturbing. not people who are normal with rancid vibes#uhh whatever. I'll get over it <- lying#vent post#if you're wondering if this post is about you it's probably not. probably#sobbing i hate vagueposting it's so mean but what else do i do here#gotta start making people fill out a questionnaire before i allow them so deep into my life istg
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thinking abt how nemesis kind of sets up what should be the most thematically interesting ambition in FL and how quickly that fades as it goes
#had a good amount of time to think abt it now and the knife price cut just hit so ive got some thoughts#nemesis puts a good amount of time into asking the player how far they're willing to go for revenge but the message dilutes as it goes#you start off and it costs you hard-earned lessons to /not/ kill someone really early on. to /not/ kill it costs you extra#and then as you go ur just given more and more cost gates and it never quite hits that same note again#not until right at the end where you can spare m_ ______ and m_ ___#but there is the feeling that you're doing it no matter the cost#and i think that's why the knifegate change has me hurting. like as much as it was a pain it also felt amazing to get through it#i think what should've been added rly was an option to get the lethean tea leaves from the esuriant smith or lilac#bc the main thing that's missing from the whole 'revenge tragedy' plot is the ability for the player to have turned away at any point#only to keep pushing on because they just can't bring themselves to forget#in the end it just feels like that early 'kill for the keys' or 'just knock them out but its harder' should've been a recurring motif#like the bodies always pile up in revenge stories. how much are u willing to do to ensure they don't??#it'd have been nice to have more options#ways around dealing with that devil other ways instead of taking red honey ways of not (probably) worsening the condition of a seeker#idk#im also at least a little bit mad abt the fact that for all that cost there's almost never fun post-nemesis things#always seeing hearts desire options (HATE u mr cards) and BaL options and what do nemesis players get. hellicon house stuff.
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(medicinal) drug use below srry im just rambling
bro i know its literally already been proven that weed helps so many conditions and is more effective for some people than regular prescription medication but my friend gave me like actual good weed last night because i dont have access to my medication rn and i swear to god i havent slept that well or woken up this like... Not In Pain, without medication, in YEARS.
#like i wish it didnt feel so fucked up and shady to be like hey can someone send me weed money#cuz it works better than my sleep and pain meds and my access also isnt gonna get limited because doctors like to play god#but god as soon as i get this shit sorted. as soon as my payments are fucking fixed. as soon as this debt is off my fucking shoulders#im stocking up#i stopped smoking for awhile because i just didnt have the funds but its like i literally always forget how much good it does me#the very first thing that granted me any reprieve from (most of) my body pain short of LITERAL MORPHINE I WAS GIVEN AFTER SURGERY#was smoking. and i hate that thats a thing that does help because i feel like it makes me specifically sound like a dumbass#but god it helps. finding the stuff thats right for me helps so much. my tolerance with meds is wack and adheres to no dose or schedule#but at least i could maybe use this when the sleep or pain meds dont work and vice versa#txt#drugs
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and unfortunately i am like the equivalent of one of those true crime girlies but like, with white collar crime and corporate scandals. except instead of getting paranoid about random people minding their own business being serial killers coming for me, i just keep telling every tall skinny whiteboy friend about how much financial crime they could get away with if they put on the right posture and confidence.
#is this worse or better. is this worse or better.#they never take me up on it. the whiteboys ive collected tend to be too kind and awkward to do any of this tbh#BUT IMAGINE.....WHAT YOU COULD GET AWAY WITH.....#sorry my dad once told me about a job he was contracted to do to set up some computer equipment for some college#and apparently a day or two later he was contacted because someone just walked in with confidence and stole thousands of dollars of equimen#and they wanted to know if he saw anything. he didnt cause he didnt really work there but apparently it was just some tall skinny white guy#glasses simple short hair probably a plaid button up. it was the 80s. you could do anything if you looked like that. its crazy#maybe my dad should have never told me about that because it like lit a fire in my eyes. im not gonna do any white collar crime i prommy#but lemme tell you. i think about it. all the time HJSKHKDS im too conspicuous but MAN if i was a tall skinny whiteboy.............#and okay the financial ciminal possessing my body aside - i also just get really into this stuff#its my favourite nonfiction stuff to read about. like to get serious for a sec: i wanna see companies get caught is the thing#being into this stuff tho - you will feel a lot of righteous and burning anger about how little these companies end up paying#so many huge life ruining corporate scandals have only just barely started paying out damages to victims like. maybe this year#it can feel like a start to see shit like whatever was going on with we charity or somehting get noticed#but theres always still a long way to go. still exploitation going unchecked. it keeps on happening but i wont forget
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no that helped me that was really helping me eh nee ways (still in pain) i want to practice writing moree.....
#i want to be able to write stuff but Unfortunately i have disorders in my brain that wont let me write anything#because 1. theres a constant really aggressive criticism of what im writing thats really discouraging 2. the disorder that makes me think#im being watched and the disorder that makes me think im being constantly judged by others are making out with tongue always and i dont fee#comfortable writing while feeling like im being watched and judged (main source of point 1)#and 3 i constantly forget what the fuck i was going to write adn then i want to bash my head into a wall#cringe asf post lol who cares#unreality#lili dont look
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We’re having an emergency meeting to discuss Chris Johnson and the whitest name ever
absolutely fitting for our white man now innit
#snap chats#speaking of White People and names tho.. i drove out to barnes and noble because if i stayed at my mom's any longer id go insane#and while i was here i read the entirety of My Brother's Husband. VERY good series it was so good i loved it...#its not in my budget today to buy the whole set but maybe one day.. mike flanagan i love you you're so happy and good..#WAIT IT GOT A LIVE ACTION SERIES ????? I HAVE TO WATCH IT LATER I WAS JUST THINKING IT'D BE GOOD AS A JDRAMA#what i did buy today tho was the second volume of The Yakuza's Bias since i loved the first one so much#and ive been PRAYING the second one'd come out soon#i also got another kirby blind box </3 its supposed to sit on your drinking glass but i didnt see who i got yet..#i hope its not meta knight. i love meta knight but i want some variety...#im hoping its the sleeping kirby one but it was hard to hear the difference so idk#and im not checkin til later so i doont get tempted to return what i got to get a new one like a freak ☠️#SO SAD THO when i was getting my stuff they didnt have any more butterfly bookmarks...#i always get one when i go out and sure i have more than enough bookmarks but now it feels weird...#anyway. im gonna get food i havent eaten all day... tho i did want chicken and soju later didnt i...#maybe ill just get something light here i just came here for the wifi honestly lol#god what else did i do.. OH THERE WAS THIS ONE MANGA.#i forget the full name but it had 'akane' in the title so of course i was like 'lol' and decided to read the blurb#IN THE STORY HER DAD'S NAME IS ARAKAWA ? but all of his teachers also have the surname arakawa but theyre not related#arakawa must be a ral impotrant name in the manga.... point is i lol'd#i almost wanna go back to. stopping this post now to do it LOL HANG ON BRB#AKANE-BANASHI THAT'S WHAT IT WAS CALLED and she wanted to be the best rakugo performer after her father's teacher#also named arakawa. As I Said.#failed everyone for no reason#maybe one day ill check it out.. always thought rakugo was a fine art...#anyway im rambling too much im gonna try to write a fanfic. no way in hell im drawing rgg in public LMAO#actually im gonna get food first.. as i said i havent eaten all day... ok bye#anon im so sorry if you ever read these tags LMAO I JUST LIKE TALKING ABOUT MY DAY
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sighs. okay tmi posting sorry guys
#lunar bunny chatter#my horniness has been fluctuating the last day or so and it's definitely because of my period. this morning was crazy#i went to some DMs to listen to an audio message i got and i just died again and thought about some stuff which led me back onto tumblr#and i just went to look at some text posts and now that i look back. dude i have such an atrocious daddy/mommy kink it's actually funny#i mean. i really like the idea of being an appealing figure and my criteria for who i call daddy is so specific. there's just two people#that fall into that category but i don't like the other person as much as the other one. hi sorry for being gay i need this off of my chest#also hanging out with some friends and im so bad at comebacks and all that. how the fuck am i gonna top without stuttering and fumbling#and forgetting words.... that's my biggest worry. it doesn't help that i get super chatty when nervous but maybe i can work it in my favor#i wanna try out the title stuff just to test the waters before going absolutely ham. maybe as a cute joke i'll go “oh sure w/e u say daddy”#“lol haha” but it just seems real fun. i think it's hot too but. yeah it's a lot to unpack ahaha.#i still have a lot of guilt for talking dirty and being more brave when talking but that's just because i always felt like i didn't have...#the right to explore that especially when a lot of people i knew back then thought of me as “pure and innocent girl” and like. yeah fuck no#this was a really meandering ramble but my point: “daddy hot mommy hot i wanna explore that and im also nervous about stuff”#i do genuinely enjoy when i get in the mood though especially with someone i trust and like. click with? i hope that isn't too much to say#but it feels very natural and i don't have to force or hide anything. i just need a bit more confidence ahaha#that's all the rambling i got in me im gonna listen to some classic music from latin artists because im silly and mildly sentimental rn.
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so much people post about how tiny little things will make them drop a fic entirely. im out here ignoring the wildest grammatical errors and giving all the credit i can muster to a fic just because the author posted it
#sometimes just because#i ignore. so much stuff in fanfiction.#like sometimes ill read a paragraph that rubs me the wrong way and my solution will be shrugging and saying “ah! whatever”#its why im so unsure about giving people fic recs bc i know that i will say something like ''its so really good! i enjoyed every bit of it'#forgetting the One Paragraph with the One Thing that i actively erased from my mind imediatly after reading it and going#''OOF yikes... not it bro.....''#i could very well read the most horribly paced convoluted ooc garbage and still come out of it feeling light and happy#thinking ''wow this fic was so cool i love that this person shared this with the world im gonna save it so i can read again later''#ive just always been like that#specially now im sorta in a weird vibe#i wanna make more fan content and interact with other fans more#and support people in my fandom and share ideas and be involved in the community#ill get there eventually lmao righr now im a little in limbo but ill get there!!!!#talk
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oooooh i am deeply unhappy actually
#hate my job#hate my apartment#hate the town im in#really really hate my job#trying to get a new apartment seems so unobtainable#there’s so many fees and credit checks and my renewal is in a month and i can’t find a new one so i guess im extending for another year#stuck in this hellhole#I can try to get a shorter lease but it’s like $150 more per month and if I still can’t find anything within that time im doubly fucked#genuinely just want to fade away into dust im sick of living like this#i feel sick and stupid 90% of the time#i finally got to take a vacation away from here and couldn’t even enjoy it because i got sick#and things were not planned well#and my partner bailed on all the events I wanted to do w them#and i get back to the apartment a mess and just feel so defeated#and i get back to work and we still have fucking mice everywhere#and no one’s done planos or price changes or ANYTHING i usually do#so im trying to catch up on two weeks worth of stuff. while also trying to prepare for truck tomorrow because no one sent the battery#pallet out so now we have two of them. and a taller than me pallet of core returns all unwrapped#and im having to come in every Sunday when I was promised those off#which is the only day we are able to do a dnd/group chat hangout and i always end up being the reason it gets delayed and i just Know ppl#be frustrated with me#im just tired and sick of this life#i don’t even know how you’re supposed to do jobs for so long without driving off a bridge#im still not even hitting the 40 hours i was promised and yet im losing my mind genuinely#i am stupid all the time. i forget basic things. I have to have people retell me things twice before they click#I wasn’t always like this. like something is WRONG and my doctor (who is quitting) is like#we’ll have you practiced mindfulness and meditation#yeah. ill get right on that#RAAAgggh I hate it here im cryin at work like a LOSER
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#tw depressing thoughts#i can feel my friends forgetting me#i cant hang out with people as much anymore because of my illness and i get exhausted really easily#plus all of my friends live over an hour away#and i cant drive that far to see them#it feels lonely as hell#i have friends online but its not the same and being with people yknow#yeah i get to see my friends every couple months#but going from every day to seeing them once every six months sucks#i feel like im being replaced slowly in their lives#and it hurts pretty bad#my best friend doesnt even respond to my texts anymore#shes always hanging out with other people#and going to parties and stuff#it just sucks#my other best friend is engaged and i probably am not even going to be invited to the wedding#ive known her seven years too#it just sucks and hurts#idk what to do#nobody responds to my hangout texts anymore#i reach out all the time too#and I get left on read#fuck#personal post
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I NEEED to go back to making art that makes it ABUNDANTLY clear that theres something wrong with my brain BUT NOT in a cool or stylishly interesting way. i need to do it in a way that makes people say "hm." and walk away
#sowwy ive been kinda going through it in my fine arts major rn can u tell HJKSDHKFd#ive been feeling like. scared. and paralyzed by marketability and branding.#i cant stop thinking about how other people will see my art. but not like in a good way#when i was younger i thought about it in a good way. like hee hee hoo hoo the act of looking connected us hee hee#but rn i keep thinking about it in like this wretched like consumer product mindset? ouhhghhhhh el problema es el capitalismo#and like maybe this works for some people. to think like this. to make art like this. its what my professors push me towards#not intentionally. they dont say it out loud at least. im not sure if they know or not some of the irony#my professors are nice and pretty smart and talented and i like em. but sometimes i wonder like. the push for us as students to make like#marketable 'avant garde'? stuff thats safe but pretending to be weird and out there#i dont mean to sound pretentious. in general i play it too safe myself (spent too much time as an edgy 10 year old with my#parents freaking out over my shoulder because they think the fact that i drew an anime character frowning means something serious LOL)#but i dunno man. my least interesting art with the least amount of care thought or effort always gets so much more attention in school#nowhere else oddly. online? people like my more passionate but seemingly frivolous art (oc art etc. not frivolous to me but yknow how it is#same with irl artists and other industry people outside my school. whats going on in my school LOL#i know from experience i cant push myself into a supposedly marketable brand. if i try to make something sell it will not.#i dont know why. maybe theres an invisible essence buyers can tell when i didnt care jkfsldjdfrds#but my teachers LOOOOVE the stuff i put no passion in its so bizarre orz but i gotta relearn how to ignore half of their advice#i used to be better at it. but i also only used to ignore like a quarter of their advice. maybe i need to amp up how much im ignoring#that sounds mean. they have plenty of good advice. but also plenty of advice thats clouded by their own biases#and i gotta relearn how to sort out this stuff again. i forget every few months for some reason#you know i always think ouuhhhhh i act so neurotypical ouhhhhhhhhh im outgoing i talk to strangers all the time i seem confident#im so masked IM SO MASKED but then i go a couple weeks where every conversation i have has people looking at me like#i have two heads and neither of them are speaking their language. and then i descend into madness like this HJKLDSHJDS#i'll be fine i'll figure it out. i need to stop trying to get a good grade in being a 'cutting edge' conventional artist <3#i need to just. draw my cartoon characters in peace 😔😔😔
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