#because hoo hoo guess who's getting the rug pulled out from them next fic?

[mrsbluebertgreggleson]

Femslash February, Day 22

Anna knew Ruby was back before the car's engine cut off and the demon opened the door with, "Honey, I'm home."

Yeah, Ruby was being funny again, but Anna thought about it and guessed it kinda was home. For now. It was kind of like that cabin Ruby took her to when they first met, after Alastair and the church; a little decrepit, but at least no one would come looking for them there, and unlike the cabin, no one even knew about it. Out of the way and in the middle of nowhere, no one would even be bored enough to spare the area a first glance. A good basecamp.

But not really a good home. After the Apocalypse was all done and the angels left again... Anna hoped they might be able to find something more like the house she grew up in. Simple and warm with human comforts.

Anna turned to watch Ruby come in to what they called the bedroom, zipped up tight in her black leather and dark denim, a lazy smile on her lips for Anna. So Anna liked to think. She and Ruby had come a long way together and they'd found a special sort of lonely companionship in each other that they never expected.

So Anna liked to think.

"Did you meet up with Sam and Dean?" Anna asked, deceptively casual and feeling all the shittier for it. She doesn't like feeling like she's trying to trick Ruby like this, like she doesn't trust her; it makes her feel like the liar. But what Cass had said...

"Sam and Dean? No, just Sam, thank God," Ruby said, rolling her eyes. "Dean went MIA, so Sam called me and had me find him. Didn't even want to hear about our lead on Lilith."

"If Dean was missing, I can see why."

"I don't," Ruby said bluntly.

Anna let that pass without comment. Ruby's, uh, dislike of Dean sometimes made her think everyone else hated him too. Anna was still surprised Ruby even agreed to meet up with Sam if Dean was there. She wished they would just get over whatever problems they had with each other already and work together the way they had when Anna met them, but Ruby point-blank refused on the grounds that Dean was a "racist prick."

Thing was, Anna didn't really see that side of Dean. She worried that she was the real reason Ruby hated Dean so much. Had Ruby seen her kiss Dean at the barn? Did she know about the one time in the back of Dean's car? If Ruby brought it up, Anna would gladly explain that she cared about Dean as a friend, that she had just been trying to comfort him after Alastair had shaken him, that it was Ruby she imagined with her when she thought of her human house. But Ruby didn't bring it up and Anna wondered if she should even go that far to reveal how much Ruby meant to her. She was pretty sure Ruby liked her since they spent so much time together and Ruby went out of her way to try to keep Anna safe, but they both knew that for all her attempts to get Ruby to open up, Anna didn't know as much about Ruby as Ruby did about her. She didn't trust Anna as much as Anna trusted her. Which Anna understood. After all the time Ruby spent getting tortured and abused in Hell, with demons mocking her and using any vulnerabilities they found against her, of course Ruby would be used to staying closed-off and quiet. Defense mechanisms. Anna had heard plenty about that. She counted it a miracle Ruby had come out of Hell at all intact.

But... that didn't make it any easier to know how Ruby felt about her. Maybe Anna was just wrong. Maybe she overestimated how much she meant to Ruby. How terrible would it be to explain to Ruby that she only liked Dean and that she loved Ruby, only for Ruby to not feel the same way? What if that drove Ruby off? Then Anna would go right back to where she was before, but worse. Totally, completely alone.

And would Ruby stick around if she knew you think she's lying to you? an insidious little whisper in the back of Anna's mind. Her own thoughts, she was pretty sure. She shut it out. She did trust Ruby. She just wanted to find out more on Ruby's side of things, that's all.

"When you found Dean, did you go with Sam to save him?" Anna asked quietly.

Ruby laughed. "Fuck no. Sam didn't ask and believe me, Dean would rather die than have me save his sorry ass for the fifteenth time. Anyway, he's fine, Sam texted me to let me know he got him."

That wasn't the way Anna heard it, but maybe Sam just didn't want Ruby to know how bad it was. It was possible. Anna bit her lip, gazing at Ruby. Ruby noticed and raised her eyebrows. "What?"

"Did Sam tell you what happened?"

Her eyebrows dropped over narrowed eyes. Her arms folded and she leaned against the wall. "No. What happened?"

"Dean didn't go missing on a hunt," Anna explained, watching Ruby closely. "Castiel and Uriel - the angels from before - they took him to make him torture Alastair for information."

Ruby looked entirely unbothered. "Huh. Well, now I'm glad Sam didn't ask me to tag along, 'cause I sure wouldn't be up for another round with those guys." She pushed herself upright off the wall with her boot. "Hope Dean at least got some good slices in before Sam dragged him off."

"Sam didn't drag him off," Anna said, very, very quiet. "Sam tortured Alastair himself. And then he killed him."

Ruby stared at her, stock-still. Anna stared back. Trying to decipher the look in Ruby's eyes, the look on her face. "Whoa. Sam tortured Alastair? And actually offed him?" Ruby looked away. Huffed out a laugh. Turned back to Anna with a smile Anna didn't return. "I'll be damned. This is some good fucking news, Anna. Want to go hit up the nearest town for some champagne?"

Anna shook her head, trying to will understanding into Ruby. "No. It's not good news. It's very, very, very bad news. Sam didn't do it with your knife, Ruby, he did it all with his powers." Her fingernails dug into the thick bed mattress. "He shouldn't be able to do that."

Ruby looked at her like she was crazy. Anna had thought she'd never have to get that look again. Somehow, it stung even worse this time. She never expected it from Ruby. "Are you joking?" Ruby demanded, staring. "You're worrying about that? Anna, Alastair is dead! Maybe you haven't heard of him? Hell's Grand Inquisitor, Lilith's attack-dog? Killed your parents, tortured me, wanted to torture you? The next-biggest threat after Lilith? And Sam fucking killed him? That's great! Now we only gotta take Lilith out!"

Anna felt a wave of despair hitting her. Was Ruby not getting it? Or was Castiel right with his suspicions? Anna pressed, desperate to make Ruby see, to make Ruby realize why this was so wrong. "Ruby, the problem isn't that Alastair's dead, it's that Sam shouldn't be using those powers in the first place. You know what he was supposed to be. And you know how he was supposed to become that." Anna took the plunge, knowing there was no going back. "You knew all that and you still trained him to use those powers."

Ruby came closer, never looking away from Anna. "You're damn right I did," she said, low and almost guttural. Anna had never seen her like this before. It didn't scare her like it would've before she had her memories back, but it made her heart sink. "Lilith is one mean bitch and one little knife isn't going to cut it. Your angel buddies couldn't even dent Alastair, and he's miles below Lilith's level. Sam's not there yet either... but he's getting there. Turning into something all right. A lean, mean, demon-killing machine. And believe me, Lilith needs killing before she can pop the box open on the Devil." Ruby spread her arms out. "But hey. You got a better solution? I'm all ears, baby."

Anna closed her eyes, shook her head. "Anything else. Anything."

"There's nothing else and you know it. The angels aren't getting shit done. The Colt could've done the trick, but the Winchesters went and lost it and now Lilith's got it. You think she'll let us borrow it so we can blow a hole in her head? I don't."

"Sam isn't the one who'll stop Lilith. Dean is," Anna reminded her. Ruby laughed, angry and spiteful, and Anna sighed, tired, wishing she'd never heard the others talking about Dean and his duties with Alastair, wishing none of this was happening. "I know you don't believe that. I'm not sure I do, either. What I do know is that we can't let Sam throw his humanity away and bring us closer to the Apocalypse. You can't keep helping him with his powers. Whatever you're doing, you have to stop."

"I'm not doing anything," Ruby said, eyebrows up in challenge. "I may have gotten him started with training wheels, but I have no idea when he got to riding like a big boy. After Dean came back, he told Sam to quit and Sam, well, what can I say? Dean tells him to jump, he finds the tallest roof he can."

"Obviously not this time. He's still doing it."

Ruby shrugged. "Maybe, if he managed to drop Alastair. Or maybe the conditions happened to be right for him to get in a lucky shot. He was pretty pissed off when I got there, maybe he went nuclear and so did his powers. All I know is that he hasn't mentioned it to me in months and I haven't mentioned it to him. When would I even have the time to train him? I'm always with you, he's always with Dean."

Yeah, that was true. There was no time for Ruby and Sam to sneak off to develop Sam’s powers so much without Anna or Dean noticing. Anna felt a little relief. Just a little, though. "Still, if his powers have gotten strong enough to do that to Alastair, then something's changed in him. Making him closer to what Azazel meant for him to be."

"Oh please, Azazel's even deader than Alastair. What he 'wanted' Sam to be doesn't mean shit if he's not around to pull the strings and make his puppet dance." She seemed almost as desperate to convince Anna as Anna was to convince her. It was enough to make Anna hesitate. Ruby seemed so sincere, so convinced that she was right. "I never figured you were one to believe in Destiny. I thought you knew better than that."

"I do," Anna said, matching the quiet intensity of Ruby's voice. "We're not talking about Destiny. We're talking about a human throwing himself headfirst into something he doesn't understand and risking everyone's lives in letting it consume him."

"You don't trust Sam?"

Anna couldn't answer. She trusted Sam, the Sam she'd met. It was what she heard about him that she didn't trust. The boy with the demon blood, the boy king of a demon prince's army, destined to end the world in tears and blood. With such dark times so precariously near, Anna didn't care to take chances with Azazel’s chosen weapon.

Ruby tilted her head at Anna's silence. "You don’t trust him. Wow. That's wild. Even I trust him and I'm a cold-hearted bitch."

"Don't say that," Anna said reprovingly, "no, you're not."

Ruby rolled her eyes and smiled. “Well, if an angel said it...” Then a new thought struck her and she scrutinized Anna again. "Wait. You trust me, don't you?"

"Yes." After all her doubts, she felt disingenuous saying it, but she still believed it was true. She still believed in Ruby.

Ruby laughed, not unkindly. "Aww, that's sweet. I'm more trustworthy than the Boy Scout." She bent down and surprised Anna with a rather tender kiss. Anna closed her eyes and kissed back, tired of doubting, tired of suspicion. She paid a heavy price for freedom everyday, sometimes it felt like too much. Still, she'd take this, here, with Ruby, over the cold, unfeeling, unwavering certainty and blind obedience of Heaven anyday.

Ruby drew back, whispered in Anna's ear, lips wet and her breath hot and smoky against Anna's skin, "I'll keep an eye on Sam if you want me to. If I see him start acting any different from his normal goody two-shoes self, I'll step in and stop it myself. Good?"

"Good," Anna agreed feverishly, then her fingers wove through Ruby's thick, curling black hair and she pulled the demon back to her mouth, tugging her until Ruby found her way onto the couch, on top of Anna, and for a blessed few hours, Anna could stop thinking, worrying, planning, and just feel.