#because his heart can't handle their gorgeousness

[mischievous-thunder]

Meanwhile Wade:

[isekai-crow]

Delicious in Dungeon / Dungeon Meshi Episode 1

WOW the pacing on this is great. That was my first major impression of this entire episode.

Overall Score so far: 8/10

Dungeon Meshi hits several sweet spots for things I like in a manga/anime - cooking and well drawn food, and fantasy and dungeons. But I never took the time to try out the manga. Maybe the art didn't stick out for me? I tried reading it before the anime came out, just to get a feel for it, but it couldn't keep my attention.

The anime however.

Episode 1 handled all of what I could get through in the manga, and ITS. SO. CUTE.

The food is gorgeously drawn, the characters are adorable, the D&D vibes are immaculate, and the monsters and the food they become are fascinating!

I've only given it an 8/10 because it remains to be seen just how many hooks this might snag in my heart if what I've overheard about the manga being 'soul healing' is true.

The first think I can tell is that this is from a slightly older manga, with Marcille being a very classic/traditional tsundere (and/or possibly tsukomi character?). She is the tsundere type that future tsunderes were based off, and so TO ME she's both somewhat annoying and also more bearable than today's tsunderes.

Sorry Marcille.

I actually didn't like her all that much in the parts I read of the manga, and while her reactions are realistic and serve a purpose to counter balance Laios' nonchalant ability to eat the monsters that try to kill them, her reactions also annoyed me. The 1st anime episode made them much more bearable, and I grew to like her! I hope future episodes do her justice and that she's not delegated solely to being the one to dig in her heels when they eat something new.

Laios is adorable and just really really really wants to share his special interest with his friends, and I love him. He is a cinnamon roll that most be protected but can probably protect himself. I love that he has a cookbook and has just been WAITING to try out some of these recipes.

Chilchuk is Liam O'Brien from Critical Role and you can't tell me otherwise. Specifically his halfling character, Orym of the Air Ashari, with a bit of Vax'ildan thrown in for good measure. I'm excited to explore his story.

Senshi is goals. I wanna but a tough old dwarf roaming a dungeon for food.

I know it will likely get compared with what Capybara and I jokingly call "The Amazon Anime" -- Campfire Cooking in Another World -- and that will always hold a special place in my heart because I stumbled across the light novel when the manga only had about 2 or 3 chapters scanlated online, and never in a million years thought it would get an anime. Where as this is a big name manga that's been running since 2014 and finished last year in September 2023.

They're both cooking animes that deal with fantasy food, but Campfire Cooking is an isekai and all the animation budget went into making the food look D E L I C I O U S, and Dungeon Meshi is going to be far more well rounded story even while being a gag anime.

It's also got some fun Voice Actors!!

Laios, our hungry knight is voiced by Kumagai, Kentarou, who mostly plays supporting roles in a few popular anime and lots of smaller animes, but has spent most of his career voicing BL Drama CDs >o>

Marcille, our elven mage and tsundere, is voiced by Senbongi, Sayaka - Shuna from TenSura, Mumei from Kabaneri, and Haru from Beastars!

Chilcuk, our cute little halfling rogue, is voiced by Tomari, Asuna who, I IMMEDIATELY HEARD GOBUTA FROM TENSURA. She also play Kyou Souma from Fruits Basket. She has a very cute voice.

Senshi, our fearless dwarf, is voiced by Naka, Hiroshi who is best know as Garp from One Piece, Luffy's Grandpa, as well as Gamabunta, Naruto's giant frog.

Anyways, I'm excited for the next episode! Episode 1 was a good introductory episode, with cooking, hunting, and laying out their goals for the coming journey.

ep2 ep3 ep4 ep5 ep6 <- these will eventually become links, I hope.

[nobully]

There's no way in Hell she could possibly handle doing this face-to-face. Gift giving for reasons other than manipulation is an entirely unfamiliar act! Having received his gift early that morning, she had laughed at the sneaking suspicion that they were handmade after spotting a few errors... and then promptly freaked out when it suddenly hit her how much the thought of that, meant.

By that afternoon, a sleek, white box featuring the gold lettering of an expensive brand etched across the top was left in front of Wang Yi's door along with a note tucked under the red ribbon wrapped perfectly around it. Inside are an array of colorful alcoholic bonbons of varying shapes and designs.

The note reads: ❛ It's not handmade, because I'm not a magician, but I hope you like them anyway. I know you said you weren't drinking anymore, but we both know that's total bullshit. Anyway, happy love day or whatever ♥ ❜ and strangely, sprawled at the corner of the card as if added last minute, ❛ P.S. Thanks for the strawberries. They're delicious. ❜

'That—seriously, even after I told her I'd stop!'

Sigh.

'...they do look pretty good though.'

He'd returned from his trip around the wards and a lunch break to see a beautiful box sitting gorgeously outside his room. Internal yelling aside, Wang Yi had snatched it up and ran inside before anyone else came down the hallway, feeling unsurprised but no less anxious when he saw that she was the sender.

'Is, is she saying I'm a magician for dipping some fruit in chocolate? Wait, how'd she find out in the first place...?! Did they taste off or something?'

He frets over her note, but of course it gives no clues. It doesn't seem to be a bad thing since she'd called the strawberries "delicious" as well, but Wang Yi can't help but wonder.

He's been...wondering a lot about her these days, actually.

Sometimes it feels like walking on a tightrope; other times like they're two peas in a pod. He thinks he can guess her perfectly, but then she'll suddenly switch gears and he's lying on the dirt wincing from her latest verbal punch in the gut.

His eyes trail over to the open box of chocolates, their fun shapes and packaging perfectly concealing their true natures. Bonbon bombs in ball dresses, his brain suggests, and if that didn't describe Nicolette to a T. A sweet and pretty exterior, but hiding potent liquid within. Red wine, he thinks, but it's so easy to confuse that with blood and well, both taste intense...

His vision swims. Shit.

'What am I feeling right now?'

'What do...I want?'

Is it because they're both not normal? Even that isn't the right word.

He means "boring," probably. Or predictable. Same. Safe.

Nicolette has never been any of those things. Even when she was carting him away from certain death, there was always the cold, hard uncertainty of whether they'd make it past the next wave, or sand dune, or copse of trees. Her moods could be a crapshoot on a regular day too—his gauge for measuring others always seemed to backfire for her. In the end she was a drop of ink in his blank, white heart, dyeing it in all the darker colors he'd tried to mute in his head.

The night that swallows the moon. The rain that drenches the sun. The kiss that—no, that one doesn't count, because there were no feelings behind it.

It'd been exciting sure, but it was never physical contact that tempted him and to his relief, they'd left it at that. Whatever his body experienced didn't really translate into long-term emotions. Rather, it was watching the reactions of others and seeing them feel what he couldn't that drew him in.

Prodding them. Provoking them. Making them subm—

Wang Yi bangs his shins against the table as he straightens his legs with a start.

'...fuck.'

The pain clears his thoughts, but his face is still turning scarlet as he turns to look at the chocolates. Suddenly they seem way too vibrant, as if the colors themselves are laughing at him for not realizing it sooner.

'I'm...not a weirdo. I'm not...'

But all he can see is that red, red wine, and the amethyst of Nicolette's eyes and hair, scarlet and purple mixing together so smoothly, so seamlessly, to create an incredible hue all their own.

Like ink.

[sessrin-eternity2]

Yashahime The Second Act (2)

I never ever, ever want to hear Antis call Sesshomaru a bad father again, absolutely no one. He is not a bad father, he happens to be dealing with a lot of stress and situations involving all his love ones. He happens to love his daughters very much. I believe in season 1 Sesshomaru had to lay low on showing any fatherly affection towards his daughters because of Zero and Kirinmaru are always watching him. And I believe that Sesshomaru reached the end of his rope and said, screw it. He touched their cheeks, he does care. He wants his daughters to stay alive and fight those foes who always wants to kill them. They are hanyos of Sesshomaru and Rin, it's forbidden love, so yes, there are going to be enemies giving trouble or trying to kill their children or them. So the girls must always fight to keep themselves alive and Sesshomaru will be there if he knows that there is a battle his daughters can't handle. Aww! I just love that he is touching his babies cheeks like this! Aww, his Mini Rins. Remember this, Sesshomaru's eyes are never shown when he is the most emotional, it's just like the scene in the Final Act when Rin died. And eee! He said Setsuna's name! But why though? Was it because he wanted Setsuna to wake up and she wasn't? Was it because he's blaming himself? Or saying her name for other reasons? Hope to find out soon, I'm gonna cry.

Towa and Setsuna's blades, Towa's new sword is extremely unique and remarkable, I love the style. And it looks like Setsuna's blade got a repair and an upgraded style. Those blades are possibly going to be more powerful. I love em and can't wait to see the girls use them.

Whoa! Look at Towa here in this frame! This is her human form with short hair, purple glowing eyes, Sesshomaru's purple moon cresent on her forehead! And omMokomoko, she is still using the tenseiga! She's getting more stronger like her father! Ahhh! Aww, Mini Rin with purple eyes, so cute! But dang, I hope her using all this power doesn't drain her, because in the scene with Sesshomaru, she's knocked out.

Ohh my Mokomoko! They are in the tree of ages! The watery flooring is a perfect giveaway that they are in there! The thing is... will the twins see their mother Rin sleeping in the tree? What will they think? What's Moroha going to think seeing her Aunt Rin for the first time? So many questions about this scene is floating around.

The feels! More feels! Moroha see's that her are parents alive! And look, she has tears in her eyes. Yup, I'm definitely gonna be crying on this scene too, no doubt, I'm gonna need a lot of tissues during these episodes. Question is, where are they? Is Moroha in the black pearl or did Sesshomaru release them? Hm, this will be very interesting.

! Okay, why is Riku and Kirin here?! What's going on?! Oh goshy, I'm lost for words for this scene, I have a strong feeling this maybe a shock to all of us once we find out what is really going on in it.

What is Jaken holding? A crystal or some type of flower that's tilted to the side? What is this? Is it something for Rin? Towa? Setsuna? Sesshomaru? We'll have to see what this is all about. ! Rin is crying again? Noo, please don't cry anymore Rin!... No, I don't think this is a flashback here, it looks the same as episode 24 but the tree is red and something is on Rin's neck?... Zero, you better not had of put something else on Rin. I hope she didn't and it might be something that could help her but I just don't know, she looks extremely sad in this. I wonder if Rin is crying again because they are having difficulties waking up Setsuna, Towa got hurt or Sesshomaru got hurt... or is it just her cry to be free from the tie... I'm gonna cry on this scene too... oh gosh, please don't let this be something very bad.

Ohh my Mokomoko! Adult Rin in action! Finally! Yes! Ohh she looks absolutely gorgeously beautiful, she's a petite wife! Sesshomaru is going to be a little taller than her, that's gonna look so cute! Wow! She's wearing the lovely purple butterfly kimono from the final act and she upgraded it so it could still fit her! this is so entirely sweet, Rin must really cherish it, it has to be one of her favorite gifts from her husband from Sesshomaru. She's praying that their daughters are safe... oh my goshy! My heart, Rin is just so amazing and sweet. She's a wonderful mother. The flowers that surround here, it reminds me of all the flower fields the sessh gang visited. Many comrades had said this could be their meeting place, I love it! And why not? Of course they would meet in this type of place, it's Rin's passion to be surrounded by so many gorgeous flowers. Just think about all the dates! The nights together! Ahhh! I'm freaking out in a Sessrin fangirl way! Yaaay! So sweet, cute and romantic.

Ehhhh?!!! Zero?! Your face again?! No... you better not had tied poor Lady Rin to your sorry tail, girl, you must really want your head to roll by Sesshomaru. I hope that Sessh saved her that night... Dang you Zero, you are such a homewrecker. You ruined two beautiful families just because you couldn't be with Toga and was so jealous. Sesshomaru and Inuyasha don't need you messing with their families, especially Sesshomaru since you're so into destroying his life and making him miserable... ugh, I can't with this woman. She literally went after the wife of Sesshomaru, does she know that it's a death wish to mess with Rin? That night on the grime comet, Sesshomaru was in a rush and many of us Sessrin fans believe he may had sensed his wife was in danger and flew away to her aid. Let's hope Sesshomaru got to this scene in time before Zero done anything harsh.

[itsthe-neo-zone]

Mendable Promises - Kang Chani SF9

Pairing: reader x chani

Warnings: none, its very angsty and with a spoonful of soft fluff!

Please enjoy and if you have any suggestions please do send them! :)

~Yixu xo

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I'm leaving"

Two words was all it took to send me crashing down a tsunami of emotions and not the good ones either.

I sniffed trying to keep my tears from falling and breathe properly for some reason my nose blocked up and so did my chest.

Not letting me breathe properly.

Although I wouldn't blame chest pain on the fact that I was about to break a wave of tears. But on the man that was leaving my life.

I ran upstairs trying to get away from the others. Specifically from chanhee. I knew that if I was to look at his face I wouldn't be able to hold it in much longer.

Rushing into the bathroom I grabbed to the sink my head feeling very light as I thought of the possible outcomes from this separation.

Each one looked worse than the other.

What if he has gotten bored of me and thought to travel and leave?

What if he met someone online and thought she was better for him and is traveling to live with them.

What if he hates me and doesn't want to see me again. Am I not good enough for him?

What if chanhee doesn't love me anymore?

I momentarily came back to focus hearing a light knocking on the bathroom door.

It was almost hesitant, as if the figure behind the door was weary of what's happening.

I stumbled to the door locking it quickly. I know it's him.

"baby, please open the door. It's me."

I shook my head at his words my throat to dry to speak up.

" ____, please we can talk about this."

"What? Talk about how you're leaving me and traveling away to God knows where doing God knows what."  I wailed hearing his breath become shallow against the door.

"you know I don't want to leave you. I love you too much."

"yet you're still going!"

The tears fell faster than ever as they wet the shirt I was wearing.

I slam my head against the door and sink down to the floor unable to handle it anymore.

That's it, he was going and I had no say in it. I wasn't going to be part of his future.

"you broke your promise..."

*2 yrs ago*

I slammed the bathroom door shut hiding behind it.

I was young I had freedom and I wanted to explore love and life in my own way until my father decided it was best that he sold his own daughter away.

What a pathetic excuse for a family...

First my mother was sold off to my father and now it was my turn...

I sympathetically gazed at myself in the mirror the elegant shimmer of the white dress against my body made me want to rip it up in shreds.

"I don't want to be sold off like a toy, yet here I am!" I cried my voice sounding weak.

"I won't hurt you, I promise. Just please let me see you."

The hesitance was there, I didn't know anything about this man, he was a few years older than me but I was scared, so scared.

My hand was shaking as it grabbed the handle of the bathroom with iron grip.

At this point my hair was down, the veil was off and some of the makeup I had on smeared a little.

Practically a mess...

But when I opened the door the look on his face was compared to nothing, he looked at me like a starving man looks to food, like a moth attracted to the only light source there ever was.

I saw the genuine care in his eyes as I walked. Past him and into the shared bedroom we both owned now.

I walked in after a moment shutting the door behind him.

"I'll never hurt you, I won't even touch you and for tonight I'll sleep in another room but please don't let me be the reason why you're crying."

He murmured voice deep and full of sorrow for a second I felt guilty.

It wasn't his fault, he's in this mess just as much as I am. And I'm taking it out all on him when he doesn't deserve it.

After all, it was the adults who were behind this and not him.

He took his tie off and into his hands as he turned around and left.

~That night~

I wasn't used to sleeping in a large empty room myself.

The fact that this mansion was extremely ancient didn't help either.

Every few seconds you'd hear a cresk from the grand marble stairs the wooden handlebars squeaking or the howling whistle of the wind in the window frames creeping me out more than I'd like it to.

I wanted to go back to my old cosy room.

Nobody was here for miles, except one.

Chanhee...

I shuffles down the hall and entered the room he was staying in.

The moonlight leaked in sprawling onto his sleeping form.

He had changed into a soft shirt and black pants to sleep in as he rested his head on the pillow the hairs on his forehead splayed gorgeously on his calm face.

I crawled towards him standing at the foot of the bed. For a moment the thought came to sleep next to him.

But as i was about to, i stopped myself.

I was crazy to want to have such a thought. Turning around I was about to make my leave when his husky voice called out my name.

"what's wrong?"

"I'm not used to sleeping on my own in the cold. I'm scared."

Throwing my dignity away, I confessed what was on my mind.

"come here, love."

At those words my heart melted as I turned back hesitantly. He had gotten up and fixed himself, the shirt he was wearing wasn't fully buttoned.

I took a few steps forward and he got up leading me gently to his bed.

"its alright, I understand the place is new and weird, but we're engaged now. Don't feel like it's wrong to ever come to me."

I nodded as he knelt before me. Taking my hands in his.

"I'm sorry for leaving you without asking if you'd be ok, from now till we die you'll always be part of my life, my future and my everything."

I smile a little at his words as he looked up at me endearingly. He leaned closer whispering the last few words.

"I promise you."

His face was inches away from mine as the only thing I could hear was our breaths, the woowing wind outside and my rising heart beat.

He pressed his lips to mine as gently as possible. Even so he felt as light as a feather brushing against me.

My fingers entertwined with his as he continued leading the kiss.

I felt my body heat up from the warmth of his body and touch, the places where his skin met mine were on fire.

I loved the kiss it was something new, I had never felt before. It made me burn but shiver and feel all giddy and warm yet cold inside.

Chanhee made me feel alive...

I heard him push against the bathroom door, as I tried to quickly get up the speed hit my head too quickly as I fell down to the floor again.

He rushed by my side quickly grasping my figure towards him.

"You're so stubborn. I tell you to take the vitamins you need you ignore me, I tell you to eat well you ignore me again."

I whimper, shifting my head into his shoulder blades to hide from his gaze.

"Aish, please just do as I say. I'm so worried about you."

He hosist me up as he walks out of the bathroom and towards the bedroom. As he enters he kicks the door shut.

Gently setting me down on the bed as he crawls up from behind me caressing my shoulders.

"I know you're upset about me leaving. But you have to understand its not up to me. Circumstances have changed and I have to react."

I hum, his deep voice soothing me despite the pain I was feeling in my chest. I couldn't trust my voice to come out as even as I needed it to.

"I just can't bare the thought of not being around you for that long."

I quietly whisper feeling his fingers slowly moving the strands of hair to the side as he brought his head close to my exposed shoulders.

"we'll make it work. I promise, I'll call you as much as I can and I'll try tuo come for the holidays as much as I can."

His breath sending shivers down my back as he finally presses his lips to my skin.

The contact feeling like millions of tiny needles pressing gently onto my skin.

It felt hot and cold at the same moment.

"But please promise me you'll look after yourself and make sure you're doing fine."

He turns his head to the side facing me. "please, just for me?" he whispers gently.

I nod, "I'll try to. I promise."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks for reading if you enjoyed please do follow because I'll be making many more fanfics!

[fuckyeahdindjarin]

I am sobbing. SOBBING. I know there's still the epilogue to go, but goddamn this is a WORK OF ART and I'm sat here with tears in my eyes, so fucking thankful that you gave us this second part of Jack and Sugar's love story.

Sugar's train of thought in the morning is so real and relatable. I love the Jack could tell what she was thinking, and the conversation is so raw and so beautifully handled, my heart can't take it.

That whole paragraph describing how Jack's face comes apart is so gorgeously written. I can see it in my head like I'm watching Westworld.

Bloodless seams crawl across his face, his eyes going glassy.

You will never be shown trust this deep, this endless, by anyone else in your lifetime. 

Oh my god. This. THIS. This is when the waterworks started.

Leaning down, you bring your cupped hands to your lips and press a kiss to the pearl. He’ll never know, never see this moment, but you’ll know that your devotion is etched on his soul.

That last scene is just perfection. Such a warming mix of vulnerability, sweetness and love.

“I know there’s a big world out there for you, and you’ve got a place in it. And here’s just a small slice of life that most people never even think about. But it’s mine, and I…I want you to know it’s mine to give. To you. You can have as much of it as you want. Because…” Here Jack takes in a breath, and you take his face in your hands. “Because I can’t go with you."

Jack, Jack my cowboy 😭😭😭 I have no words. I can hear him say this in his voice, that earnestness and his puppy eyes. That 'because I can't go with you' hit me right in the gut, but thank god there is no answer other than FUCK YEAH!!!!!! These two have my heart FOREVER. I can't believe there's only one more part to go, this has been the most beautiful journey and they deserve all the happiness ❤️❤️❤️

Chapter 8: And I Was Reborn

Pairing: Jack “Whiskey” Daniels x F!Reader “Sugar”

Summary: The only thing left is a question. And an answer.

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: M, mention of nudity, allusions to sexual acts, mild body horror relating to being a host (not gory, but descriptive of seeing under the skin and a skull), sort of playing fast and loose with how the hosts work, was E in previous chapters so full series is 18+ MINORS DNI.

Notes: After everything they've been through, it's come down to this. This is the penultimate chapter, with only the epilogue left, and one big question still left unanswered. I'll leave it to you to find out what that is, and what Sugar's answer will be.

Cross-posted on AO3

Decoherence Masterlist   ||   Whiskey & Westworld Masterlist

Morning slips into the bedroom like a lover, quiet and soft at your back. You blink awake slowly, eyes blurred as you acclimate. Cream-colored walls lend a stark difference from the blue quilt draped over you and Jack. You smile into your pillow, toes curling between the sheets.

True to his word, Russell didn’t come scratching and snuffling at the door until several hours after Jack locked him out. It was plenty of time for you to talk, wrapped in each other’s arms. Jack told you about traveling across the country looking for a home, working whatever drifter jobs he could get to pay his way. You asked why here, why this town, and he said it was the first one that felt anything like home. The people helped, and the slow discovery of who he was with free will did the rest. 

Jack in turn learned about you, the real you that he never truly got to meet. The things you like to do, the places that make you happy. It strikes you as a shorter list than you thought, the things you left in your small apartment barely taking up space in your heart. In this house, a rekindling has taken place and a warm fire now burns in your hearth, well tended. 

When Jack left to let Russell out, as bare as the day he was made, you laid back on the bed and contemplated the life Jack built. Years of grinding away at a job that kept you comfortable but unfulfilled paled in comparison to the muscle memory of a hard day’s work. Could you find happiness in taking up reins and helping the community around you? Or had you been so far gone from it that you’d make a mess of anything you touched?

Jack returned soon after, his nonchalant nudity heating your skin.

“I have dessert if you’d like something sweet,” Jack said, smirking a little at the end. 

“I’ll take anything you’re offering, handsome.”

It took another hour before you actually tasted the peach cobbler Jack made, sitting on his lap in nothing but a sheet wrapped around the two of you. He warmed the cobbler first before drenching it in cream, and the spiced sweetness tasted even better on his tongue. The last thing you remembered before drifting off back in his bed was the slow devotion of hands on your skin soothing you to sleep.

Now his head is thrown back on the pillow, lips slightly parted and eyes shut. You watch his profile bathed in morning light. The perfect curve between his nose and chin to fit your lips. The stretch of his neck to his chest rising and falling. One hand lays on his stomach, fingers curled in lazy artfulness. 

Do androids dream of electric sheep? you think briefly, reaching out to touch the strong line of his bicep. You trace from his shoulder to the dip by his elbow, baby hairs along your path standing up. Blue-green veins are barely visible by his wrists, the smooth expanse of his chest dotted with freckles. He’s imperfect, and that’s more amazing to you. Every bit of him unique, down to the spots around his chin where no stubble grows. You wouldn’t know him to be anything but real.

He is real, you scold yourself. Every part of him is real, and true. He just didn’t grow into his body the way you did. The scars that detail your history, the stretch marks, the bends and breaks of a body worn by time, yours is happenstance and circumstance. His is purposeful.

Your touch slides over to lay your hand over his. The rise and fall of his chest makes a soothing pattern with his heartbeat.

Rise

Ba-dum ba-dum ba-dum

Fall

Ba-dum ba-dum ba-dum

Jack’s hand flexes open, and you slide your fingers between. He pulls your joined hands to his lips and presses a kiss on your knuckles, a deep sigh precluding his head turning in the pillow.

“Morning Sugar. You sleep okay?”

You nod, scooting closer to him and pressing a kiss of your own to his shoulder.

“Best I’ve slept in weeks.” You’re not lying. Not an ominous dream in sight. 

“Me too,” Jack says, rolling to his side and pulling you into his embrace. His shoulders block out the harsher rays, a halo of light illuminating his fluffy bedhead. You run your fingers through it absently.

Not a hair on his head that wasn’t put there. Not a thing on him that wasn’t done on purpose. And not a single part of it looks manufactured. 

“You’re thinking awfully loud this early in the morning,” Jack says, stroking the small of your back. You consider what saying anything in this quiet moment could mean, but you both have come so far in just one weekend. It’s time for you to be as honest as he’s been.

“There’s still a part of me that tells me you can’t be a host. That you’re so perfectly imperfect that nature must have made you.” Stroking long paths through his dark locks, you worry at your lower lip. “Is that bad, that I can’t help but think it? You’ve proven it all to me several times over, it’s just…it’s still something hard to believe, I guess.” 

Jack’s eyes drift off, chewing the inside of his mouth before he sits up against the headboard. You come upright too, and he guides you between his bent legs. You let yours fold over his thighs, sitting face to face as he holds your hands in his.

“Does it make it harder, not seeing the machine?” he asks. You soothe him with your thumbs.

“I wish I could say it didn’t. Everyone suspends their disbelief in the parks, right? But we all know that it’s not real.” You study Jack’s face carefully. He’s not upset, or hurt. There’s something resolute in his expression. “I guess it does make it harder for me. I like to understand, and it’s hard not understanding how this all works.”

Jack nods, squeezing your hands tighter.

“What if I could show you exactly what’s at the center of me?”

His eyes stay locked on your face, and you realize he’s giving you something exceedingly precious. It’s not to be handled lightly.

“Maybe I should just have faith,” you acquiesce, smoothing your thumbs along his knuckles. He squeezes again to draw your attention.

“It’s okay,” Jack says, eyes soft. “I’ll show you.” He waits for your nod.

Settling himself against the headboard, he ticks his jaw and takes a few grounding breaths. The calm warmth of the morning becomes stifling, your palms sweaty as he holds one in his hand.

“What I’ve learned from all the manuals and the programs is that you can’t tell. You’re not supposed to. Everything’s realistic except for one thing. They never saw much use for making it look like a brain.” Jack presses his thumb into your palm. “Once it’s not in contact with me I’m gonna freeze up, Sugar, so put it back when you’re done.”

Your heart hammers in your throat. “Jack, what is it?”

Jack’s smile quirks up in the corner, but you also catch a thin veil of fear.

“Maeve called it a pearl. Made it sound valuable. Precious.” He holds your worried look, chucking a knuckle under your chin. 

Then his hand falls, and he changes.

Bloodless seams crawl across his face, his eyes going glassy. One splits his face down the center, drawn along the curve of his nose through the dimple in his lower lip. The corners of his lips extend up to his hair, slashing across his cheekbones. Another traces his jawline, the folds of his jowls. A series of small clicks and whirs precede the seams widening, and Jack’s face opens to reveal a smooth white skull beneath. No gore, like a mask peeled off in sections and pulled away for inspection by tiny armatures. Your stomach drops, nausea threatening your throat but you swallow hard. The eyeless skull smiles back at you before you notice another series of cracks, and the second layer breaks open. The skull separates into four quadrants, and from that fissure extends a cylinder presenting a smooth metallic ball. Prongs hold it tight against the protuberance, and you startle when Jack’s hand reaches in to pluck it from his mangled face. Thick fingers grasp the shiny surface as he guides the ball to your palm. 

It’s warm against your skin, sinking into the cup of your hand. You open your mouth to say something but the moment Jack’s hands leave the reflective surface every tiny motion stills. What was once solid flesh beneath your legs is hardened marble, not a tremble in his frame. Heart racing, tears well in your eyes as you study the fractured man who’s put his whole trust into the palm of your hand. 

“Jack?” you whisper, but nothing moves. The stillness roars in your ears, hands shaking with the pearl clutched between them. Cautiously, you let your fingertips roam the edges of his face, stomach rolling at the uncanniness of seeing something so human turned inside out. Your fingers are shaking, pressing against his chest for a heartbeat that’s eerily absent. He’s a statue, nude and serene.

Finally, you turn your attention back to the pearl in your hand. It’s hardly the size of an egg, black as obsidian and smooth. Your reflection warps back up at you, parted lips quivering as you study it. This must be what makes Jack work. This sphere holds his memories, his quirks and tells, and even though saying it out loud would make it cliche, his soul. 

To Delos, searching for their rogue host that’s become troublingly sentient, it’s probably worth millions. But to you, it is infinitely precious. You will never be shown trust this deep, this endless, by anyone else in your lifetime. Jack willingly put his life in the palm of your hand. What could you possibly do to show him that trust, that faith, that love in return?

It comes to you in another breath. Oh Jack. He’s given you exactly what you need to prove it to him. Leaning down, you bring your cupped hands to your lips and press a kiss to the pearl. He’ll never know, never see this moment, but you’ll know that your devotion is etched on his soul. Letting your lips brush it once more, you whisper.

“I’ll always hold it, Jack.”

Just as he did, you place the pearl into its delicate cage, watching with fascination as it retracts back into Jack’s head. The pieces of his skull pull together, and slowly he becomes the man you love once more. When the final piece clasps shut and Jack blinks, you throw yourself into his arms, straddling him breathlessly. His hands come up to soothe along your back, inhaling your scent as you fight back tears.

“Feels like it took a little while, did you drop it?” Jack tries to joke, the rumble of his chest soothing after feeling it so still. When you don’t move he pulls you in tighter, pressing kisses by your ear.

“Was it too much? Sorry, I should have…” he starts to say, but you silence him with your lips. He lets you lead, gripping his face and tilting his head back to inhale him. He reassures you between devotions with murmurs of “I’m here, Sugar. I’m right here.” When he guides you to your back, tangled in sheets and legs until you’re not sure where you end and he begins, he whispers, “I’m here.” And when he sheaths inside you, cradling you against him he groans, “Here, right here.” 

Beneath your hands he’s pulsing, gasping, trembling. Alive. Jack. Your Jack. Always.

When you finally untangle, sated and drained, Jack lets you make breakfast. Fresh eggs and toast, a crumble of bacon for Russell before you serve yourselves. Across the table Jack still manages to touch you, foot pressed inside your ankle reassuringly. 

It’s so easy to imagine this as any morning. Maybe you’d follow it with chores, prepare for the week ahead. Outdoor work until the sun is too hot, making plans around cold drinks in the evening. Every night a heartbeat under your hand. 

“Still thinking loud, Sugar,” Jack interrupts, his crooked smile playful but you glimpse trepidation in his brow. It’s Sunday after all, and with that comes the “real world” you both alluded to all weekend. Pushing around the last remnants of eggs, you contemplate.

“I’d like to take a walk around, clear my head a bit,” you say, letting Jack’s nod reassure you.

“Maybe let Russ out, he’s been cooped up all night and we haven’t been paying a lick of attention to him,” he says, scritching the terrier behind his ears. You rise and lead a doting Russell to the front door, Jack lingering in the kitchen. Throwing him a smile over your shoulder, sunlight greets you on the patio.

Russell bounds out and off to run a few circles in the yard, a blur of white and brown. Your feet take you aimlessly, thoughts clouding your vision.

Before you left, you knew it was possible that seeing Jack would change things. You prepared for a conversation about what might happen when the weekend ended. There were possibilities lined up neatly for scrutiny. You could stay in touch, visit each other. The care you felt would have time and distance to grow. Then, when you knew each other better, you could take that next step and meld your lives together. Most likely something closer to what you live now, allowing you to straddle the line between the “real world” and Jack’s new and improved Sweetwater. It all sounded feasible, rational, reasonable.

Looking up, you realize your restless feet took you back to the barn, and right up to Daybreak’s stall. She lifts her nose over the gate, knocking you in the shoulder playfully before allowing you to stroke her snout. The sharp scent of horse fills your lungs, tamped with sweet grass and hay. When you scratch along her muzzle she snorts, whuffling at your pockets for treats. 

“Sorry girl, next time,” you promise. 

That’s when you realize how easily next time came to you, and how soon it felt. Not next time as in six months from now. Or three months. In your heart, now truly open, you know what your answer will be to the unspoken question hanging over your visit. Pressing your forehead to Daybreak’s, you smooth your hands along her graceful neck.

“Thanks, girl,” you murmur, her soft huff a comfort.

Jack is standing on his porch when you exit the barn, trying his best to look nonchalant but his tells are all on display. Hand on his hip, fingers clenching too tight. Jaw ticking back and forth. The smile he gives you fighting to reach his eyes. You mount the steps and slide an arm around his waist, reveling in the relief of his embrace. For a long minute he just holds you, your head on his chest to listen to his stilted breaths. Finally he pulls back, eyes shining.

“I’m…so glad you came,” he manages to get out, rubbing his hands firmly up and down your arms. It clenches your heart, watching him struggle. You open your mouth but he motions for a moment more.

“I know we didn’t start off quite the way either of us hoped, but now, with everything out in the open and all that you’ve seen, I hope you’ll consider my proposition.” A smile tugs at your lips but Jack’s railroading mouth keeps you grounded. 

“I know there’s a big world out there for you, and you’ve got a place in it. And here’s just a small slice of life that most people never even think about. But it’s mine, and I…I want you to know it’s mine to give. To you. You can have as much of it as you want. Because…” Here Jack takes in a breath, and you take his face in your hands. “Because I can’t go with you. I tried a few times, but I kept having close calls and near misses of being found. Just coming to see you was a risk, one I’d gladly take a thousand times over, but I can’t live like that. It’s here or someplace like it, and I wouldn’t ask for you to give up everything…”

“Jack,” you interrupt, tilting his gaze back to yours. Stroking your thumbs down his five o’clock shadow, you let him know exactly what you’ve already decided.

“I’m not going back.”

His face contorts in confusion, then dismissal.

“Sugar, you can’t…” You press a thumb against his soft lips, mustache tickling the tip.

“I’ve been waiting for something to tell me I made the right choice, and that all the pain was worth it. This is it. You are my choice. This, everything, is my choice. I’m going home to pack, get everything sorted, then I’ll come back.” Your throat closes up, but you manage to eke out the last words you need to say. “Then I’ll come home, if you’ll have me.”

Jack’s hug is bruising, all-encompassing and breathtaking. 

“Sugar, my god, yes, we’ll have you, I want you.” You choke out a laugh into his shoulder, dizzy with the lack of oxygen and the elation of Jack’s embrace. He spins you around, Russell’s faint yips on the edge of your consciousness. When he releases you there’s a moment to take in a breath before Jack’s mouth slots against yours and steals your air again. He cradles your cheeks, pulling away just enough to look at you with wonder before stealing another. The sun feels like it’s at a whole different position in the sky before he relents, tucking you into his chest and letting an enormous sigh empty out. 

“I’m sorry it won’t be an easy life with me,” he says, fingertips light on your skin.

“Did I ask for easy?” you tease, inhaling the soap, sweat and sun-baked scent of Jack. “Whatever might come, it’s worth it.”

“I’ll spend my life making sure of that, Sugar.”

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[over300books]

I can't believe we've reached the end of this story 🥺 this makes me so incredibly proud of you!! It was delightful to watch this fic flourish out of your hands 🥰

He allows himself the luxury of feeling when he frowns and looks up at her. 

This alone could make me whoop in joy 😅 it doesn't look like a big deal, but it means so much when you stop and consider all of his trajectory with her and where he started... I'm honestly weak (in the bets of ways) for them 🥺

He wants to be seen by her and she wants to see him.

Like, look at this!! It's so simple and pure and straightforward. It's something so primal, something i suspect everyone deeply wishes for, this connection, and I'm so happy that they've found it in each other.

I love how you showed what he's feeling almost strictly through physicality and his eyes! And her mind going first to the love and belonging she found in Colombia rather than anything related to Pablo's death is so perfectly fitting and so gorgeously put!!

It's so sweet that Steve calls him right away 🥺 i don't remember if this happens in the show but it's very soft for me hdjskzhs

because it feels like the world has been taken from his shoulders and returned to someone much better qualified to care for it.

!!!!!! Oh Miranda, you capture his character so beautifully 🥺 i well and truly adore your writing! I hope you know that by now lol

Omg the way they hug like they're each other's lifeline and precisely how they need 😭 i love them so much and I'm so happy they have each other 🥺 and then Javi being so honest and grateful for her; I can't handle how vulnerable he allows himself to be! I know I'm saying this a lot but it really does warm my heart to see what they have.

“You’re the best part of me too and I’m proud of you, even if you don’t think I should be.” 

I LOVE HOW HE GRINS AT THIS!!! HE IS SO ROMANTIC IN THIS CHAPTER I'M THIS CLOSE TO SCREAMING HE HAS COME SUCH A LONG WAY!!!! Also his gentleness in cleaning her face up burst my heart, thanks 🤠

he’s too in love for words to sound just like they should

You are so amazing in descriptions, i don't even have words to describe how this made me feel!!!

It’s what they are made of—sharing moments and quiet understanding—and despite the pain and the heavy weight of the information, they decide to celebrate by living. 

This. Is. So. BEAUTIFUL. ™. I. CANNOT. Miranda, you must have a golden brain, stellar hands and a magical heart, because there's no way a narrative so mesmerizing and so well written could be this enthralling and touching otherwise. Also i may or may not have chosen these attributes by thinking about Barbie movie vibes.

I love how their parents have a praising/grateful urge in their goodbyes even though they don't know what Javi and her just went through? And Julián being told he's loved by everyone was so cute 😭

These eyes of theirs connect just like they had the first time, but instead of pure want they know it is pure need in their hearts—something so much deeper

!!!!!!! I DON'T CARE HOW REPETITIVE I AM, THEIR BELONGING MAKES MY HEART FELL SO FULL OF WARMTH AND LIGHT AND LOVE AND I CAN NEVER THANK YOU ENOUGH FOR THIS OKAY 😤

Oh, and that ending.... So quietly fierce, so beautiful tender, so gracefully tying up the narrative... i let this simmer for a while in my drafts because i wasn't ready to say goodbye to them yet 🥺

Miranda, you are a force of nature and I'm so fucking glad i got lucky enough to bump into this amazing fic and this incredible person you are! Nothing can describe just how grateful I am that you shared these characters and their good, bad and sometimes dirty story. I'm beyond honored by what you said in the author note, and I hope you're aware of how privileged I feel to have been able to give back to you, even just a tiny bit. I admire, appreciate and adore you more than words can say, and i sure hope you, me, Javi and her meet again ❤️🥰

tags: nameless oc x javier peña, nameless oc x javier pena rating: m ( mature ) warnings: language, talk of drugs and violence. word count: 2.2k+ summary: for something big, there is always something beautifully little hiding away notes: this is a slightly shorter note to preface the big one that exists at the end i for this chapter. thanks a million to everyone who read this fic of mine. i hope you and me and javi will meet again sometime, because it’s been a blessing this time around. i also wanna say a big shoutout to @cmonkeepmoving, with whom the Spanish in this story would be suffering without <3 original gif by: @pedrohub

love is a burning thing 

scenes fourteen, scenes from a marriage

The words feel odd in his mouth, and as they stretch across the small part of the parking lot between them to meet her, they feel like they don’t belong to him at all. In a way, they don’t. 

Pablo Escobar is dead. 

It is a cold December night in Washington, D.C. and they shouldn’t be standing here looking at each other like this, but this sentence has become a third guest between them and they can’t abandon it. They allow it to hang heavy and prominent, not dismissing it with words or movement. Even Javi’s hand still finds itself wrapped around the payphone he received the news on, like holding it just a moment longer will connect him to all that he has lost these past few weeks. 

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