#because fuck off literally my best friend is jewish and that doesn't stop her from calling Israel out

[aceofspades-sml]

Ice cold take but you should care about Gaza. Especially if you're from a western country actually, because you live in a place fully supporting Israel and the genocide. So take a minute to shut the fuck up about the World cup, whatever new movie just came out or the party you are throwing tonight and please just talk about palestinians getting murdered

And no I'm not apologizing for throwing this on your dash because if you don't care about this I don't even want you following me

[im2tired4usernames]

My mom's best friend Keeps constantly reaching out to me and I know it's cause she misses my mom and wants to cling to someone or something that keeps her memory around

But I really just do not have any interest in any relationship with this woman at all she's one of the most batshit insane conservative nutters she screamed at me when I was a child for eating squid once because she thought it was unbiblical and I had to look at her and be like "lady Jesus lived like in the Mediterranean area he totes loved seafood his besties were like fishermen????"

She believes that nobody in France over the age of 14 eats bread of any kind and I'm just like that is bizarre she's on this diet called the trim healthy Mama diet that her and my mother forced on me my entire highschool life and she's constantly commenting on my weight on her weight everyone's weight and constantly commenting on everything I put in my body woman got pissy that the 11 year olds would rather have Oreos over unseasoned raw cauliflower with no dip?

she's a crazy Bible thumper but doesn't read the Bible she straight up makes up Bible verses

she believes in crazy conspiracy theories that are straight up antisemitic and when I would tell her "hey that's not cool?" She'd go off on a tangent how she actually loves Jewish people because there just half Christans or something and if I said anything about that I got my shit beaten she is some weird Christan woman who insist on celebrating Jewish holidays because I have no clue honestly why but she started that church doin Passover and it felt like a mockery it felt like the grown ups were playing dress up to get religious brownie points and ignoring hey this is actually a holy thing to people don't make a mockery of it?

She would take selfies with my mother in her hospice bed and like take close up pictures of my mom's tears as she was dying she made me take pictures of my mother in her coffin and like of her funeral and it was weird and morbid her daughter literally dated two boys at once but the woman had to have a talk with my mother because I was a slut for wearing dandelions in my hair and bad influence on the other young church girls

She does not believe in modern medicine she believes modern medicine was made to "control the people and keep them sick" so she regularly takes dog medicine?

She believes libraries shouldn't have books on gender sexuality or anything that isn't PG bible-based she got fired from her job from being a library for refusing to let children check out books she supports almost every book banning and it's wild

Her daughter believe she is The reincarnation of Batgirl yet believes people who believe in reincarnation are going to hell???? The whole family?They're weirdly obsessed with lesbians??? Because lesbians are like the ultimate evil for turning on men it's so weird???????

I'm so confused? Once again I am going to hell for *spins wheel* listening to Christan metal because even though it's Christian metal has an image of being satanic and I could make people think I was listening to satanic music anyhow and cause them to lose their religion?????? I constantly had to hid away so much of my self when she was over

The woman spent her whole life influencing my mother to hate me and joining my mother in bullying me for the most innocent things so no I don't want to her in my life but FUCK I FEEL SO GUILTY CONSTANTLY BRUSHING HER OFF OR GHOSTING HER FOR SUCH A LARGE PART OF MY LIFE THIS WOMAN WAS PRACTICALLY AN AUNT TO ME WE CELEBRATED HOLIDAYS TOGETHER THEY'RE FAMILY LIVED WITH US FOR A WHILE HER AND MY MOM WERE PRETTY MUCH INSEPARABLE I KNOW SHE'S MISSING MY MOM AND SHE JUST WANTS TO BE CONNECTED TO MY FAMILY

BUT I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO KEEP WALKING ON EGGSHELLS BECAUSE THIS WOMAN'S FUCKING INSANE AND FRANKLY I'M ALMOST 30 I'M TIRED OF LIVING A FAKE LIFE I WANT TO STOP PRETENDING TO BE THE GOOD CHRISTIAN GIRL JUST TO MAKE ALL THE ADULTS WHO BULLIED AND CONTROLLED ME MY WHOLE LIFE PACIFIED AND START BEING THE HAPPY EVIL LITTLE SLUT AND HAVE CONTROL OVER MY LIFE AND FRANKLY IF SHE'S IN MY LIFE IT'S JUST GOING TO BE HARDER TO DO THAT I WANT TO BE ABLE TO DO WHAT I WANT I WANT A SAY IN MY LIFE AND I'M TIRED OF APOLOGIZING AND BEING SCOLDED BECAUSE SOME ASSHOLE THINKS SOME FAKE GOD HAS AN ISSUE WITH HOW I STAND AND BREATH

[postmoderntongues]

I saw the post before you deleted it, how could you still have friends who voted for Trump?

Because I'm not a fucking politician and Im not asking you to vote for me or even interact with me you are hitting me up in public on anon so I really dont care to impress or have a relationship with you block button is free. I've been very close with a lot of people who believe crazier more fucked up more offensive things its very rare that not only do i find somebody who i can actually bond with who doesnt come in fascinated by me and come out repulsed by/afraid of me like most people who claim to love me do but that i can stand to spend spoons on socializing with. I literally hope that I am so wrong and they are so right that they clown on my ass for the rest of eternity. I strongly disagree with them but they can back up their arguments with logic that while it doesn't necessarily reflect my values personally i see how it reflects their values and what evidence and justification they can back their thought process up with like they are not coming from a place of "i want people to suffer" or "i want to keep people under me on the hierarchy" i think their sources are biased bullshit and they think mine are. clustering with people because they agree with you is shallow NT behavior I keep people in my life because I LIKE them and i like almost nobody and almost nobody likes me. Also of these friends im the wealthiest, most educated, most family support, least disabled, and only white christian. My most right-leaning friend is a fucking disabled Native American Jew with a public school special ed education from a broke district living off government assistance writing poetry. my best friend since we were literally kids is a disabled poor jewish single mother child abuse/DV survivor who was abandoned by her family and wound up being trafficked into FSSW for YEARS. When you stop believing your ideological opponents are human or capable of decency or that you could learn something from them or at least feel stronger in your opinion after hearing theirs you fester and stagnate within an echo chamber it is good to keep people around who you can challenge each other in a civil way so much for the tolerant left lmfao

[beelsfeels]

A profile of my Obey Me OC, Shoshi! (Pronounced like Yoshi)

Picrew 1 Picrew 2

Name: Shoshi (short for Shoshana)

Age: 27

Pronouns: She/They

Sexuality: Bi

Height: 5′6″

Background: raised Jewish, got into Jewish Mysticism as an adult, began worshiping Lilith, and has Lilith's sigil tattooed beneath her bellybutton. She feels VERY awkward about it in the House of Lamentation.

Random HC: Namaah exists at RAD and is a totally hottie BAMF that Shoshi has a Huge Gay Crush on, to the point she can't really form cohesive thoughts around her, a fact that Satan and Asmodeus love to team up and exploit for the LOLs.

Summary: Horny-For-Yall Death-Wish with Crippling Anxiety. Copes with humor and memes. The ultimate self-insert.

Relationships with the brothers:

Lucifer:

- Shoshi and Lucy have a very complex relationship, she both admires and is intimidated by the eldest.

- Shoshi is a huge brat and it gets her in trouble a LOT with Lucifer. He goes easy on her though, which is good because her anxiety skyrockets when this man get That Look™️ when anyone is acting up.

- When Lucifer tried to intimidate her at Diavolo's weekend retreat while dancing, Shoshi straight up cussed him out and stormed off to the balcony to angry cry.

- Eventually had an argument so heated she wasn't sure if she was about to be murdered or have the best sex of her life.

- it was the latter

- they started casually dating after that, and Shoshi would often stay up late with Lucifer to keep him company while he does paperwork.

- Lucifer is very protective of her, and often walks her to each of her classes, a hand on her lower back. This draws many stares from the other students and becomes harder for her to make friends outside of the HoL.

- HC that Lucifer teaches one of her classes and she can NOT pay attention which earns her lots of after class "punishments"

- listen up, Morningstar

- "What did you just call me?"

- ::books it at high velocity towards wherever Diavolo is::

Mammon:

- Shoshi is his Ride or Die (Ride AND die more like) best friend.

- will destroy anyone who talks crap on the 2nd eldest.

- maybe a tiny human but WILL throw hands for his honor

- always ends in Mammon having to save her which is counterintuitive

- they share one (1) braincell when they are together and it's full of the literal worst ideas.

- snuggle buddies, Mammon won't admit he likes her out loud but will end up in her room Every Night that Lucifer hasn't already sanctioned her time.

- Jealous of her relationships with every other brother, but will tolerated a three way spoon with Beel since he's a walking teddy bear.

- "after this hare brained scheme we will have enough money to buy you a bigger bed"

- they never do

- invented a silent eye contact language for when Lucifer is lecturing them for hours about how irresponsible they have been.

Leviathan

-Leviachan! ::Jump hugs him::

-"Shoshi!! You can't just hug me without warning!"

-Levi is always having a heart attack around Shoshi either because she's flirting with him or she's absolutely crushing him at video games

-Shoshi would literally die for this boy, is absolutely in love with this Otaku king.

-she thinks it is unrequited until one night she's crushing him too hard at Mario Kart and he finds ways to... Distract her.

-Shoshi will protect Levi at all costs and he REALLY doesn't need her to, why does this human think she can take on everyone she's so bad at fighting.

-what that tail do?

-"please stop asking me that"

Satan

-fast burn enemies to lovers

-Satan does not appriciate Shoshi's humor, as it relates to him.

-"Shosh, do you want to study together tonight?"

-Not Today, Satan

-"Shoshi I brought you your homework"

-Hail Satan!

-Turns into her closest confidant

-lots of book reading, philosophical conversations, and wine nights

-Got Satan to join her in her morning yoga rituals to help with his wrath problem

-Loves going on dates with Satan, he's so upfront and honest, though not as affectionate as she would like

-she respects his personal space

-he lectures her on her "death wish" for all the times she says "fight me" unless it's to Lucifer then he buys her a new book or hands her a kitten he happened to have on hand.

-cat memes back and forth 24/7

-Her actual "first demon" 😉

-"You little brat" (that is a threat)

-she loves it

Asmodeus

- gossip girls

- weekly bath night, bubble bath, face masks, painting each other's nails

- Asmo gives her all the latest DevilDom gossip, and even when it's about people she doesn't know at all she will still chug that tea

- casual nakedness, don't pop into one of their hangouts if you're not ready for an eyeful

- Satan learned that the hard way

- Beel also did, but didn't mind as much

- has to literally put a ward on the door to keep Mammon from busting into Asmos room and dragging Shoshi out

- "no older brothers allowed" sign on the door.

- sneaks out to go clubbing, Shoshi doesn't drink much but she LOVES to dance

- "describe Lucifers abs to me, do not leave out any details"

- ASmo No! i don't want to die over some glorious abs!

- "excuse you, what would be a better way to die than that??"

- also has a secret language for when Lucifer lectures them, but it involves mostly puppy dog eyes and trying to guilt Lucifer into forgiving them

- has never worked once

Beel

- the most dramatic friendship 180 in the history of the DevilDom

- Shoshi thought he was an anger issues Jock who punches walls and threatens to eat her

- Well cannibal serial killers have stated on record that humans with tattoos don't taste that good so you probably shouldn't eat me

- can't believe that worked

- staying in his room after the kitchen incident and cuddling with him in bed, talking about the loss of their sisters, and how important family was, she realizes he was a soft boi that needed protected

- that night beel became her second demon 😉

- Shoshi loves cooking, so they cook together a lot, helping each other when they're in charge of meals

- Shoshi starts a vegetable and fruit garden outside the house of lamentation, teaching Beel how to grow food, which he takes to very well (after a few casualties of fully eaten tomato plants)

- this significantly helps the fridge situation at HoL, which all are grateful for

- the fridge checks, while occaisionally sexy, mostly actually involve Shoshi jumping at Beel to see if he will catch her (Brooklyn 99 gag style)

- "Beels what's your T-Shirt made of? Cause it feels like husband material"

- "oh, I think it's a demon cotton blend"

- I love you, my sweet Himbo.

Belphie

-Belphi take me to Majolish

-"No, I'm tired."

-Remember that one time you literally killed me

-"okay I'll be there in 5"

-Shoshi is the only one who could possibly out nap Belphie

-Beel/Belphie/ Shoshi cuddle puddles and snack nights.

-rarely hangs out with him alone because he did, in fact, murder her once

-They leave each other super soft pillows without notes or any context and it has turned into a rivalry to find the BEST pillow. Winner gets bragging and napping rights.

BONUS:

Diavolo

- You're my Dad! Boogie woogie woogie

- teaches him all the latest memes and dances

- No fear for this man, which disturbs and upsets pretty much everyone.

- one time Lucifer asked Shoshi to Please Stop asking the Prince of Demons for piggy back rides

- Shoshi told on Lucifer and in fact got MORE piggy back rides.

- They have Lucifer Imitation contests where they just say "Don't Dissapoint Diavolo" back and forth till one of them cracks up.

- Did not anticipate any sexy business with this Goliath Friend, but caught Luci and him smooching one time and one thing lead to another...

- Did not change their friendship at all, the Two Most Immature People In The Entire DevilDom

Solomon

- ::stranger danger siren goes off::

- I don't trust you Wizard boy

- Asmo said you can have a little rights, but you're on thin fucking Ice mister

- oh you got 72 demons? It'd be cooler if they were cats and dogs.

- only teams up with him for kareoke nights and other human themed activities because no one else understands

Things Shoshi has said without context:

"Why does everyone in this house have bigger titties than me"

"Lucifer took his gloves off and I almost passed out"

"I'm from the United States of America in the year of our Lord 2020, you can not scare me"

"It really do be YEET or be YEETED in this house, huh?"

"Mammon if you even look at that cat wrong I will round house kick you into the next century and claim my rightful place as second oldest"

[punkscowardschampions]

Nancy & Rio

Nancy: Not to be weird, because I obviously don't mind if so, but are you wearing my clothes in your latest insta pics or have I lost my mind? Rio: Oh my God, sorry! Shoulda said before putting that up Rio: casual single white female situation Rio: I was in London and I had to stop by yours to avoid a real walk of shame... whole 'nother story, assumed it'd be alright 'cos you know, you weren't using 'em? Shipped back fully dry cleaned, swear down Rio: Not to drop him in it but shamelessly will, Buster said it'd probably be alright too lol Nancy: Well we have the brunette and redhead thing going on, already. Just don't murder me like Nancy: It's more than okay. They look great on you and they are just sitting there Nancy: Keep them if you want Nancy: I'd rather you than one of Buster's 'guests' Nancy: Did you talk to him? Rio: Last time I check, no feelings of murderous jealousy towards you Rio: Even if you do have a killer clothes collection Rio: You're too sweet! I'm nowhere near statuesque enough to rock it for serious but it was fun playing dressup, not gonna lie Rio: A little bit, yeah, as much as you can with him Rio: Has he reached out to you yet? Nancy: We should go shopping then. I'm not flooded with other offers or compliments right now Nancy: He did try but I didn't answer the call. I didn't know what to say, you know Nancy: Do I want to know what he said about me, if anything? Rio: Absolutely, always up for a style update Rio: and I promise to stay away for the red box dye Rio: Rihanna 2010 I ain't Rio: That's fair, I remember he mentioned that too Rio: He said a lot of things, some of 'em stupid which don't bear repeating but I could tell he was worried about you, checking you were okay, like Nancy: Oh god Nancy: I should've answered I just couldn't Nancy: I've already broken my own heart there's no handling if he decided to do it for me too Nancy: It was like I already hear what he was going to say Rio: No one is judgding you for not Rio: He's been guility of being unavailable for less Rio: You're more than entitled to take your time with this Rio: Let him cool down too, I put him right where I could but Rio: He's stubborn Nancy: And he thinks I'm as cringey as everyone at school does, right? Nancy: I knew it Nancy: I can't blame him really Rio: But that's nothing you don't know, you feel the embarrassment, I don't get why people think they're being clever pointing out as if its not your first hand experience Rio: He asked if you were coming back Rio: which he clearly wants, even if he's not gonna outright say that Nancy: I thought he might be on my side since he always goes after what he wants Nancy: Maybe he is though, if he does want me home Rio: Yeah, there's definitely hypocrisy otherwise Rio: I'm not gonna commit him to either side from a conversation relayed but I don't think talking to him soon will make it any worse Rio: Hoping he said all the dumb shit he needed to me instead, like Nancy: Was he such a prick to you? I'm sorry Nancy: I can't go back until those girls are far away at uni Nancy: Do you think we could convince him to come here? Team effort to get a visit? Rio: Not all bad Rio: and nothing I can't handle Rio: Yeah, reckon I might've met some of them last night Rio: and I feel you Rio: Worth a shot, I threw it out there that maybe if he came it'd make your 'rents coming less of a shitshow Rio: try and hold him to it Nancy: The ringleader is Chloe, with an accent over the e. You'd remember her if you did Nancy: It wouldn't surprise me if she was still hanging around him and his friends, she always did fancy him Nancy: Okay. I'll try Rio: Oh my God, her?! Rio: If she gave me daggers any harder I woulda been bleeding Rio: Such an unlikely candidate, no offence Chlo hun but total Rio: always the girls with the least going for them, honestly Nancy: That's her specialty Nancy: What's it say about me that I used to think we were actually friends once Rio: She looks like she can play nice when she wants to Rio: with your Brother, like you said Rio: Ugh Nancy: Yeah. She didn't want to play nice after I came out but she did a convincing enough job before Rio: Bet she thought you were in love with her and everything? Rio: What a cliche mean girl Nancy: Oh she went one better and told everyone I made a move of her, which even I wouldn't Rio: Oh, don't flatter yourself Rio: What a cow! Yeah, she's not changed at all then, obviously I avoided her best I could but she was way too happy about my drama Nancy: Like I know what I did with Sian was bad but Nancy: Please, I do have some standards Nancy: What happened with you? I didn't even ask. What a cow I am Rio: Yeah, she's not a catch, whatever way you're swinging, sorry to be a bitch but you were first gurl and that's always gonna be a turn-off Rio: Oh nah, nothing major, well, it was very dramatic but over it whilst it was happening so I'm not bothered Rio: Curtis went with me and then decided to get all huffy and try and make me leave early 'cos I was 'dancing too sexy' or whatever Rio: when I wouldn't he literally left me there, considering he drove us over, he had the hotel key Rio: Cue mad rush trying to find a place to crash and a way back Rio: Safe to say he's chucked Nancy: Oh my god! There's no words for how out of order that is. What an utter prick! Nancy: Buster better have offered you my bed Nancy: I'll kill him if he never Rio: Oh yeah, he did Rio: Offered to pay the way back but I thought that was too far Rio: Between taking your bed and clothes, like, need to at least try and sort half of it myself, like! Nancy: At least he's not a total prick himself ALL the time Nancy: Remembering some of how he was raised now Nancy: Are you in London rn still? Rio: Yeah, I'd say we can give him that Rio: Will go to his head but what you gonna do Rio: I am Rio: Toying with staying for a bit but I'll defs get in more shit for doing that for going with Curtis in the first place so Rio: Should probs get the soonest flight back now Nancy: My bed and wardrobe are yours if you are staying Nancy: Did you see my mum and dad? Nancy: While we're mentioning being in lots of shit, like Rio: I appreciate it, Nance Rio: I did my best to avoid then, and succeeded, thankfully, not really the vibe I'm looking to give out to the olders like Rio: Buster didn't seem keen to talk to them either, so they may very well be on the warpath towards Dubo and you...Soz to confirm Nancy: Care to teach me some of your ways before they end my life? I'd REALLY appreciate it tbh Nancy: Fantastic. That sounds accurate Rio: Umm, get them drunk and they'll be sleeping as you sneak about like Anne Frank? Rio: ORRRRR, whilst they're mid-air, come back to London, ha Nancy: Get mum REALLY angry Nancy: Nice subtle nod to my gayness with the Anne Frank ref though Nancy: And you're definitely onto something with getting dad a drink Rio: Say you're coming to rescue me, I can be FAR more dramatic about this breakup than I'm really feeling Rio: edge of fucking tower bridge like Rio: of course, all bisexuals are upheld in the highest esteem in my household Rio: especially brave little jewish girls Nancy: Good plan, if I can be this dramatic about a non-break up then we can make this believable I'm sure Nancy: Take the heroics from my brother too, always great Nancy: I see the bed and clothes gesture and I raise you Rio: Everyone loves a bit of sibling rivalry put to use Rio: get us both off the hook in one fell swoop Rio: Only flaw in the plan is Chloe with the accent Rio: Going to have to work on that so she's outta the way by the time you get here Nancy: I'd suggest taking her to the bridge and pushing her off but I don't need to go to prison Rio: If you thought the gay jokes were bad now Nancy: Exactly Nancy: And nobody needs a rebound that badly, least of all me Rio: They say some people go to Prison for the roof over their head and three meals a day Rio: wonder if anyone has ever gone in purely for the pussay Nancy: As a vegetarian I feel I'd have to Nancy: If only casual sex was my thing. Wouldn't have got here Rio: Yeah, it ain't for everyone Rio: at least you didn't get to fuck her, THEN catch feelings Rio: that'd be even shittier like and what happens to so many girls in our year when they do the 'casual' thing Rio: no wonder they're being salty little bitches about it Nancy: But that way it wouldn't have been all in my head Nancy: Maybe they have a point, I don't know Rio: It wouldn't make this bit any easier Rio: the actual heartbreak shit Rio: the people being cunts, less so Rio: but they'll find any reason, someone else will be the target next week, like Nancy: I know you're right Nancy: And I don't want her life ruined so Rio: Yeah, but you gotta think about you and your life too Rio: She's fine Nancy: Don't rub it in, please Nancy: I feel like my life's over Rio: I know sweets Rio: but it ain't Rio: you'll just keep going Nancy: I know I will, but I don't want to. Like I know she couldn't love me but I still want her too Nancy: It hurts Rio: Its going to Rio: for a while yet Rio: revel in it Rio: how unfair it feels Rio: 'cos its not a sexuality thing, if you were straight or she was gay or whatever the fuck, when you feel like you love someone and they just don't back Rio: that's gonna hurt regardless of the how you got there Rio: its not just because she was a teacher, everyone's been there, like Rio: Promise Nancy: I wish everyone saw this how you do Nancy: You're the best Nancy: June too but he doesn't get this bit yet Nancy: Though he can appreciate the wonders this will do for my art Rio: Gotta suffer, might as well get paid for it Rio: or A's Rio: at the very least Rio: I don't know, Junior is so guarded, I wonder if he ever will, not that I wish that bit on him but you've gotta go through it so its better to get it over with really Nancy: Especially because my Irish grades are gonna take a dive Nancy: I think he will Nancy: He just needs the right one to fall for Nancy: I appreciate how that sounds coming from me rn but Rio: Oh the awkwardness of that first lesson back is gonna be Rio: I'll deffo come Home by then Rio: I hope so, I know he's not happy hiding who he is, so I don't think he's content being alone forever, like, either Nancy: Oh god please do. I'll need all the help I can get Nancy: He won't be. He's a catch. I keep telling him Rio: Pretty sure push it any harder and I'm being dragged back by my hair lmao Rio: Totally, he just needs to get a lil confidence Rio: Not a complete personality change but just enough to give him that push Nancy: We're working on it Rio: Yay! Shame we can't be real speedy about it, get him getting a man to distract all the attention from you like Nancy: That's okay I wouldn't wish it on him Nancy: I can handle it. Sort of Rio: Yeah you can Rio: You've got this Nancy: So our brother keeps saying. But he makes it we because he's everything Nancy: *your Rio: Y'all are cuties Nancy: If you could use your influence on my brother to make him bearable I'll be your best friend Rio: I definitely cannot make promises there Rio: He goes out of his way to be un Rio: but he's alright really, I think lol Nancy: I'll have to take your word on that Nancy: Until I talk to him myself Rio: Let me know how it all works out like Nancy: Definitely