#because eventually u run out of stuff to do that’s not repetitive and boring

[muckyschmuck]

been fawning over your stuff and how you answer asks for a while now and haven't really had anything to ask of you until your recent posts:

sell me on skyrim. no holds barred. been back and forth on buying it for a while and want to decide once and for all

(also your art is awesome and good and i get on tumblr almost exclusively to check your page blah blah blah all that)

i unfortunately cannot sell u on skyrim because that game sucks ass JK FIRST OF ALL THIS IS SO NICE TGANK U IM SO HAPPY U LIKE MY ART WTF !!!!!!!.!!!!!!! um um um ive been obsessed w skyrim and elder scrolls stuff on and off since 2011 like it was ALL i drew and it was my only source of inspiration my entire child/tweenhood (more specifically the general dull fantasy aesthetic and IDK JUST THE WAY IT MAKES U FEEL WHILE U PLAY IT) if u wanna feel rlly badass and pretend ur just a little guy working their way to the top from nothing i definitely recommend I FEEL LIKE IM DESCRIBING IT SO BAD but the dark brotherhood questlines( in skyrim and oblivion) literally shaped me into the freak i am AND ALSO U GET THE OPTION TO PLAY AS A CAT OR LIZARD PERSON WHICH IS LIKE TGE BEST THING EVER

[baritonetcc]

Talent

I can��t believe where I am, I look like a protagonist of a cliche anime scene. Allergy-inducing blossoms and buds rain down around me, in a slow breeze, so more like a caramel rain. My only ride is running late, so I’m forced to remain on school grounds past my scheduled time of death. The school courtyard is empty, since school has been out for long enough for the buses to leave, and athletes were changing for sports practice. I’m sitting under a tree, finishing up a book that I stole from my English teacher’s shelf (thanks, Mr. Bradner). Oh hey, speaking of Mr. Bradner, I should go hang out in his room. The breeze is blowing majestic fronds into my not-so-majestic hair and mouth, so an empty classroom would be a nice chance of pace. I’m sure Savannah has stopped annoying him by now and pissed off to whatever hellhole she crawled out of.

I’m walking up to the building where Mr. Bradner’s room is, and Andrew Pratt bursts out of the doors, clearly late for track practice. 

“Where have you been, Tommie? I’ve been looking for you forever! I’ve been wanting to ask you something.”

Oh boy, here we go with his questions. If he asks me for answers for the math review again I swear-

“So some of the band members have been wanting to perform in an ensemble for the talent show, a big band. We wanted to play ‘Feel The Love Go’ by Franz Ferdinand, and we need someone to play the alto solo...?”

He knows that I’m going to say yes, doesn’t he. He couldn’t have asked any other alto sax player? He couldn’t have had another instrument play it? I think it would be really cool on piano. 

Thinking that I wasn’t getting the hint he continued, “So would you be interested in it? We really wanted to give it to you...”

I finally open my mouth, knowing that Andrew’s coach is going to murder him. “Sure. Text me when you can, now go to practice.”

Andrew is so good at life. He gets along with his family, he has an amazing dog, he’s a great trombone player, and he’s a track star. I wish he was better at managing his time.

I sink into a desk in Mr. Bradner’s room, where he’s correcting papers. He likes to work until he’s done with whatever task he assigns himself before going home, so I don’t say much. I go through the tasks I have written in my planner, and it’s quite bare, more than usual. I occasionally look up to see Mr. Bradner scowling at someone’s chicken scratch, or whoever’s in the hallway. Hey. Mr. Heser’s walking by. Eventually, my phone buzzes with a text. 

Andrew P(rat)t: Kyre has all the music for the group, u should go take a look ok?

What a slacker, I hope he trips because he was texting me instead of tying his shoes. I gather my things and head down to the band hall, where Mrs. Kyre resides. I get to thinking about the important questions. Who else is in the group? Why can’t I just NOT be in the talent show? I was hoping I could spend the rest of the year taking it easy, without having to worry about the talent show in June. I find myself in the band room, where Mrs. Kyre conveniently remembers to hand me the music upon seeing me. Andrew set me up for this. I whip up my hair and bust out my saxophone. I stay in the actual band room, since it’s not being used and I’d rather not lock myself in a practice room. I glance at the clock while wrestling the ligature onto the mouthpiece. I can’t believe it’s already almost four, I should’ve just walked home. I warm up quickly, look through the music, and begin trying it. Whoever wrote this isn’t half bad at transcribing, and they thankfully took mercy on the alto saxes. It was probably one of Andrew’s nerdy friends. Wait. I’m one of his nerdy friends. 

I dig into the piece, and I get into the solo part. I honk my soul out with the epicness that Adolf Sax couldn’t even begin to imagine, when I see someone walk in out of the corner of my eye. I’ve never sightread this well in my entire life before. Hell yeah, check out this badassery, Mrs. Kyre! And then I realize it’s not Mrs. Kyre. It’s Miss Avery. In that moment, I forget what key signature I’m in. I don’t know what measure I’m on. I forget how to finger any of these notes. What’s a note? I hopelessly squeak a half-assed attempt at the rhythm written on the page, then stop because I think my ears have actually fallen off.

Miss Avery smiles at me. Of course she does. She doesn’t know half of the effect she has on me. I try to talk to her, but all the words stick to my throat on the way up. Oh, and my saxophone is still in my mouth.

“Wow, that’s some real nice stuff there. You’re so into your whole band thing. I love it.”

I know she’s lying. That was the worst sound I’ve heard since hearing someone MacGyver a thick layer of aluminum foil in between the rollers of a Polaroid camera, then threw it at a running band saw when the shop teacher walked by. I didn’t even know my instrument could make such racket.

“Thanks, Miss. Are you looking for Mrs. Kyre?”

“Yeah, actually. Oh, there she is.”

Miss Avery and Mrs. Kyre set to getting completely distracted with whatever they talk about, and I get through the rest of the song.

I can’t believe I’m in Andrew’s living room with my saxophone. Honestly, it’s kind of cozy though. All of us practicing together, on these nice pillows and not in the band room. The entire way here, I complained to my friends via text about going to Andrew’s house, but I’m enjoying myself more than I made it seem. It’s a nice tone overall, and it’s a nice change since our drummer isn’t here. It’s a calm and quiet evening, and some jazzy tunes makes it powerful. His mom also makes otherworldly cupcakes. They don’t even have frosting or anything, but they taste like a sweet, buttery blanket of the warmth of innocence. It’s a week before the final show, and we’re really just working on dynamics and expression to really nail the song. Since it’s so close to the show, there’s been a lot of hype. Miss Avery asked me if I was going to see the talent show. I really wanted to surprise her, so I told her I was going, rather than informing her that I was in it, like the good child I usually am.

It’s the night of the show. I’m standing offstage in my snazzy tux (thanks, Andrew’s mom) and holding my saxophone. I usually don’t wear anything like this, which is why I’m borrowing something that Andrew’s mom pulled out of his closet from a couple years ago. He’s tall and skinny, so I didn’t have to steal anything recent from him. Last minute, we figured the stage would be blazing by the time we got on, so we ditched our jackets. The sleeves of my stark white shirt are neatly rolled up, and it’s not a bad look for me. This shirt fits surprisingly well, with the buttons over my chest doing their job, even if Andrew is a stick compared to me. Apparently, one of the trumpet players had a problem with the fact that she wore her nice diamond earrings, and I wore purple gauges. I can’t wait until she finds out that they glow in the dark. They match the album cover of the song we’re playing, so I think I win here.

I peek around the curtain, since nobody really cares at this point. The theatre’s seats are filling in with equal amounts of snickering teenagers and parents with genuine concern for our generation. I silently thank them as my eyes wander. Our theatre has planetarium-style lighting, along with the typical lights lining the wall. It’s calming to see all the bustling shadows of people finding a place to sit. I look up towards the back, and see Miss Avery coming in. She seems like she’s in a rush, and she’s looking around frantically. I dismiss the idea that she’s looking for me...but, is she? She spots a group of other teachers and they wave her over. Probably not, then. 

A couple kids eventually take the stage to thank everyone for coming, and begin intoducing the acts. I suck on my reed absentmindedly.

There’s a few dance groups, which were definitely all entertaining. Someone did a backflip off of a chair. There’s a lot of people who sing, including Savannah, who sang some basic, repetitive pop song. The musical acts are impressive, but maybe I’m just biased. Finally, the curtains close, to open for one last time. A bored looking junior steps on with a microphone, telling the theatre, “The last, but not least act we have is a band ensemble. They will be performing ‘Feeling Love Go’ by Fronz Ferdindand.” Whatever, close enough. “The group consists of various members of our school’s band, and features a saxophone solo, played by Tommie Byers.” That’s me. 

We hurry to get all of our equipment on stage. The most terrifying part was Talon’s fancy Moog keyboard setup, and making sure we were all in the right place. As we’re setting up, ‘Paper Cages’ plays. I’m wondering who’s responsible for shoving Franz Ferdinand down everybody’s throats. It’s probably the drummer. Our bari saxes conveniently bump their stands together, knocking over their music. I stand in my assigned spot perfectly, and the curtain opens. I haven’t even thought about Miss Avery again until now. Did she enjoy the rest of the show? Has she already gotten up to leave early? Once my sight adjusts to the dark sea of humans, I find her, with her eyes trained on the stage. 

The song kicks in, starting with just the rhythm section. The winds then pick up on the melody, and the guitarist strums out funky chords. Talon and his brother work magic on the keyboards. The brass delivers a bright punch, lead by Andrew. I swell with anticipation as I feel my solo come up. For some reason, I look right at Miss Avery, who has no idea what’s going to hit her. I wink. God, that was probably so cringe-worthy. I bust into my solo, starting small at first. Then I’m out there, jumping the octave, and tonguing some banging rhythms. The winds start doing this siren sounding pattern to fill in. Am I dancing? Oh God, I’m dancing. I kick out my legs and do that weird swinging squat swing like every dramatic sax player does. The brass kicks out, except for one trumpet, which follows the siren action. My solo ends after some dizzying sixteenth notes, and I’m still swayed by the music. The rhythm section continues the ride with the winds, until the song ends on a kind of questioning note, almost as if we are prompting the audience to react with whatever they were holding in the whole time.

Everybody loses it, maybe because it’s just the last show and they want to go home. All the show’s participants rejoin on the stage for pictures and such. Some kids were getting flowers from friends and family. I run down into the rapidly emptying theatre, still huffing, still red from the lights, and still holding my saxophone. My neck strap digs into my skin, as I chase after Miss Avery. We make eye contact, and she grins at me. 

“So, what did you think?” “What did I think? Well, I didn’t! That was awesome, kid! When you stepped up with that solo, my mind was blown. You did great up there, and I’m sure every person in this room enjoyed it!”

“Oh, thanks! I...I worked really hard on it, and it was really fun, actually.” “You don’t have to say that, I think we alllll knew how much fun you were having up there,” at this point, Talon’s younger brother came to retrieve my awkwardly dangling saxophone, “and I had no idea! How come you never told me that you guys were getting together to do this?”

I chuckled, “Well, I didn’t know I was supposed to.”

“That was amazing, and I’ve never seen you like that before. Come here!”

Before I know it, her arms are around me. I can’t imagine that it’s pleasant to hug a musician so passionately right after their performance, but my endorphins don’t care. Miss Avery gets a parent to take a picture of us together, and my new lock screen is Miss Avery with her arm around me in front of the stage. I’m still wearing my neck strap.

[rorybergstrom]

    hello, it’s nora again…. hitting u with another child. this one is more rough around the edges in therms of development, cos he is brand spanking new for lockwood. a longhaired softboi who deserves tenderness. has a burner phone and doesn’t use social media. help me mould them into a fleshed out member of the human race with love and tender kisses. as is tradition, here’s the pinterest board x

application.

( demi-boy ) haven’t seen RORY BERGSTRÖM around in a while. the TIMOTHEE CHALAMET lookalike has been known to be ECCENTRIC & METHODICAL, but HE / THEY can also be HESITANT & DOGMATIC. The 23 year old is a JUNIOR majoring in MUSIC TECHNOLOGY. I believe they’re living in AUDAX but I popped by earlier and no one answered the door. 

aesthetics. 

bed hair from a permanent state of slumber, calloused fingertips from strumming bass into the early hours and djing into the blacklit night, self-help books thumbed once and thrown beneath your bed, battered copies of choose your own adventure books, spliffs passed half-arsed across rooftops while light pollution obscures low-hanging stars, marxist literature in stacks against your bedroom walls, a burner phone twice-shattered and a stash of replacement sim cards. 

connection to tatiana & did they choose her name during the watershed?

never spoke to her but had an unrequited crush on her. morally conflicted and didn’t want to select a name. probably had a chidi-from-the-good-palce-esque meltdown and eventually closed his eyes and selected randomly so he probs doesn’t know who he picked.

half-swedish, half-british. the swedish is on his mother’s side. he’s bilingual but thinks in english. only really speaks swedish around his mother. only child, and kinda put a lot of pressure on himself to be the Perfect Kid when he was young, but his parents are honestly, quite decent? and just want him to have a nice life, they don’t care if he isn’t successful or rich or anything, they’re honestly rather solid. (wow imagine having Nice Parents, a first for all my characters, im literally this meme)

grew up in peckham, a suburb of london. growing up, his mum was a model / actress / waitress who later retrained as a speech therapist and his dad worked in her majesty’s service at buckingham palace. his dad wasn’t allowed to tell his family what his job entailed but rory suspects it’s probably very boring and just involves a lot of…. logistics n security.

was bullied a lot at school. [cole sprouse voice] he didn’t fIT iN AND HE DIDN’T wANT TO fIT iN. unironically wore a trenchcoat to school every day of his life. spent most of his lunchtimes in the library because it was his Safe Space. as a result he knows…. loads of useless information because 30% of his school years were spent reading anthologies on space and the vikings etc. would be good on a game show. obsessively recorded every episode of university challenge as a child.

middle-class and lowkey quite wealthy but rarely talks about money, one of those well-off people who still wears really old shitty shoes and only spends money if they absolutely have to

virgin who can’t drive

into star wars, not into the big bang theory. feminist. can’t watch horror movies

favourite film is where the wild things are. also loves the florida project. thinks kids are the sweetest thing and can’t wait to be a dad to some

has been musical for as long as they can remember. first picked up guitar because he thought it would make this girl esther who he was in love with like him, but he just ended up falling in love with music instead.

formulated several different bands as a kid but ultimately had to give it up cos he was quite controlling and got fixated on making a certain sound so it wasn’t really fun for the others. got into electronic music because it was something he could do basically on his own and keep tweaking until he got it perfect

always drumming their fingers or strumming invisible guitar strings. tends to avoid parties bc he has quite has specific tastes when it comes to music and doesn’t like listening to r&b for eight hours while people throw up into plastic cups.

a techno connoisseur. has been making electronic music since he was about twelve.

after his parents divorce, when he was fourteen, rory & his mother moved to run-down suburban neighbourhood, pittsfield, massachussets.

big into photography. he mostly uses a canon 35mm camera, but occasionally uses disposable ones when he wants that more rustic feel.

moving to the states, their photography became more focused on suburban neighborhoods and are often quite dark and cinematic (think gregory crewsden). here are some shots of pittsfield i really like which rory has on his wall [1] [2] [3]

falls in love 12 times a day. never had a girlfriend or boyfriend. gets sweaty when someone cute looks at him. flirting?? what?? would prefer to idealise them from a distance

gender??? hm. doesn’t really know where they fit yet, sometimes he feels like a guy and sometimes they doesn’t feel like anything at all. isn’t really bothered, cos they think it’s a social construct anyway. uses he/they pronouns interchangeably, but feels like ‘he’ is more fitting. won’t necessarily pull anyone up on it cos he knows having an identity that’s constantly…. in flux.. can be annoying for others … and doesn’t want to be a burden EVEN THO it isn’t at all?? rory internalises guilt

everything is socially constructed. mirrors let you move through time. the whole thing’s a metaphor. he thinks he’s got free will but really he’s trapped in a maze. in a system. all he can do is consume. people think it’s a happy game. it’s not a happy game — it’s a fucking nightmare world, and the worst thing is, it’s real and we live in it

has ocd. tries to let it affect his life as little as possible, but obviously it’s incredibly hard to control a compulsive disorder. was teased for it at school when other kids started to notice. he was obsessed with the number five, would wash his hands five times, count stairs i groups of five, he could only use the corridors in one direction and always had to keep his hands busy. it manifests itself in hyper-fixations (trains when he was a child – specifically steam engines – then later he became obsessed with space and the patterns of constellations, and now he’s obsessed with synthesizers) and repetitive behaviours like counting stairs. doesn’t really affect his social life at all, he can jst get a bit locked-on n hyper-focused sometimes.

has insomnia. barely ever sleeps. finds it hard to switch off from work / writing / gaming / whatever’s preoccupying him in that moment. he’s always awake at 5am and quite often sleeps in through classes but still gets really good grades because he’s very good at his course. rarely attends classes. prefers to work independently. doesn’t really trust his tutors are intelligent enough to be teaching him, and is particularly suspcious of the lockwood tutors. a music snob tbh

secretly a small-scale drug dealer, only does weed n some party pills. had cannabis plants growing in brifghton but basically lost most of it in the fire. rollerskates around campus dealing cos they dnt have a car

long haired, aesthetic is like... timmy in lady bird n beautiful boy

aesthetics: bed hair from a permanent state of slumber, calloused fingertips from strumming bass into the early hours and drumming into blacklit night, self-help books thumbed once and thrown beneath your bed, watching vine compilations until your eyes turn square, battered copies of choose your own adventure books, spliffs passed half-arsed across rooftops while light pollution obscures low-hanging stars

likes: techno, the webpage cats on synthesizers in space, allen ginsberg, vintage gramophones,  floating points, lcd soundsystem, marijuana, soft dogs that let you pet them, late-night strolls talking about the universe, independent films, cigarettes, herbal tea, gallows humour, long showers, brown eyes, tchaikovsky, dr. seuss, constellations, photography, late night jazz, vintage game boys and girls who could rip his still-beating heart out of his chest and use it as an ashtray. dislikes:  weddings, funerals, formality, button-up shirts that people actually button-up, bananas, hot coffee, social media, people who watch and play sports, rap music – especially of the misogynistic variety, indie wankers in wire-framed glasses that play ed sheeran songs at open mic nights. 

plot ! with ! me ! i’d say all the usual “exes fwb hookups spiel” but rory... has never hooked up with anyone... i feel like a deer in the headlights of love....... so give me 

study buddies, 

people who are also into techno and are music snobs about it, 

people who love all kinds of music, 

people who are in bands that maybe rory’s recorded and produced stuff for, 

people he actually jams with (he plays bass and synth), 

unrequited crushes!! 

someone they met at a knitting club in freshman year and have remained friends with despite no longer going to it

 people rory knows from open mic nights and gigs

library girlfriends / boyfriends that he stares at longingly while paging through leatherbound volumes

gamers !!! social recluses !!! hermits !!

people he deals weed to on his rollerskates (why r all my characters obsessed with rollerskates)

skaters. rory is really shit at skateboarding. like really shit. help the smol

[dungeonsnderp]

The Plot So Far

Sessions One Through Seven

You asked for it, and here it is. For a note, Kat didn’t jump in till session three (I wanted to start with just one player and see if we were even ready to commit to D&D). Each session will have the actual plot...and some notes from me as DM on what was actually prepared vs what happened. It gets less coherent as we go, whoops.

TL;DR:

Session 1: Half-elf ranger/cleric Eirlys had one of those dreams that really sticks with you, that urged her to leave her temple of Selune and explore the world looking for a place she could call home. She promptly hopped on the road with her faithful cougar sidekick Clay. 

They headed south from Luskan towards Neverwinter (we’re using the map loosely at best, just as starting point for me for basic places) but didn’t get far before encountering a farmer in a bit of a pickle; Rhondor’s wagon had been run off the road by “some kind of creature” and the axle had snapped. After a tense conversation Eirlys was able to repair the wagon and get him back on the road, to his deep thanks (apparently his wife would not have been pleased to find him stuck). 

DM note: Voices for NPCs are super hard when you suck at acting? I think I oversold it and ended up barreling over KH, who’s a slow speaker by nature, so Rhondor kept cutting Eirlys off. My mistake, and I’m glad it happened so early, but still. NPCs are hard. 

Eirlys continued on the road before finding an interesting branch and following it...only to run into a Bugbear ambush. Facing up against two bugbears we both quickly realized that a) she was a lot more fragile than I had prepared for, and b) Clay needed some kind of healing...thing. Enter Healing Lick. It’s gross, but super effective! One of the bugbears escaped, the other was killed. Eirlys died twice, Clay three times. It went super well. 

Session 2: Longresting in a tree nearly went badly when they got ambushed by a single rat, Eirlys went to kick it and kneed Clay instead. I continue to be amazed by how rigged Roll20′s dice are. By this point KH has gotten a good 8 nat 1′s.

They eventually stumbled on an old graveyard and completely ruined temple. I wanted to test out dungeons and we spent the whole session bumbling around underground. It went decently despite both of us rolling poorly, but the only thing of note was that there was a tapestry with nagas being killed on it and Eirlys ripped it down (rolling too low of a perception to notice the hidden doorway behind it, I might add) and made it into a cape. For Clay. Her cat.

I’m gonna make her pay for it later.

As a DM sidenote; these two first sessions were ROUGH. Neither of us had played before and for every 20 minutes of actual play there was probably 10-15 minutes of googling and flipping through the rulebooks to learn how stuff worked. I’m still pretty sure KH rolled attack rolls wrong both times, and I kept fucking up perception rolls. We also couldn’t stop laughing and had to pause a couple times to resume breathing before continuing on, so my best advice is just to chill and not take things too seriously. 

Session 3: I knew I was ready to fold Kat in, so I actually took the time to do some planning to give us something to do. This was actually super rough; I knew Eirlys was going to be given a map so I started drawing it and let it just kinda flow. I figured fuck it, I’d build a game around whatever I came up with. I...don’t actually recommend this method, but it’s worked pretty well for me so far. All I really had planned was how to pass the map to Eirlys, and how Kat was going to make her entrance. The rest I left up to chance.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Somewhat recovered from all of the death, Eirlys and Clay got back on the road, and quickly discovered that not only had Rhondor made it past them, his wife Tiria (half-orc, very grumpy and sparse with words and emotions both) had caught up with them. One only kind of awkward interaction later and Eirlys had been (grumpily) thanked for her help and given a cape cloak. In one of its pockets was, you guessed it, a map. 

I’m so creative.

She just so happened to have spotted a tower in the distant distance earlier (you can totally see where I went NOW KISS with my plot ideas, oh well) and jauntily set off through the most boring plains known to man. A good couple hours of traveling later and she stumbled into the middle of a battle with a couple giant rats and her accidental new travel mate, half-orc fighter/rogue Mirasha. 

They “bonded” over the world’s longest and most awkward walk to the tower known to man. I’m just kinda sitting there listening to them interact like

Points for being in character for both of them, for sure, but good god. Hilariously awkward.

They reached the tower finally and I got a good chance to step back and let them drive. I had loosely planned the “puzzle” of this tower as that it was very tall, had a secret room up top, and the only way up was through one of four identical trapdoors in the floor which contained some kind of mechanism to get them upstairs. I had phrased the rhyme for this area to indicate the west door (sleeping sun) and figured I’d make the rest up on the fly. 

Seriously this rhyme is so bullshit, let me break this down for you;

A spire tall and hidden feet a message for the snoozing sun beneath the floor a giant sleeps wake him gentle to rise as one

I went, OKAY IT’S A BIG TOWER WITH A SECRET IN THE FLOOR THAT BRINGS U TO THE CEILING and this was born. Super subtle. 

Eirlys hugged the phallic tower to get a feel for it, and also decided she was going to ring the bell if it killed her. Mirasha tried to actually solve the puzzle but picked the wrong door and I went “shit I didn’t prepare for the wrong answer” and went HEY magic animated possessed scarecrow yay! They did manage to kill it.

Seriously about 80% of each session is me realizing I didn’t prepare for something and scrambling to come up with a result. I gripe and bitch but it’s honestly where the fun is for me. 

Session 4: We had to stop shortly after the battle due to time constraints but picked it back up a day later. They cracked the (admittedly laughably easy) puzzle to ascend the tower (I hadn’t planned on there even being a “puzzle” down there, but after the break it seemed super anticlimactic? I don’t regret putting it in but it was very lame.)

Up top was a trapped chest containing a strange shape, and the bell. Oh god, that fucking bell. Eirlys absolutely had to ring it and I was admittedly kind of sad when she succeeded her checks to ring it with her body and then cling to it as it swung back and forth. Flinging her off the tower would have been hilarious. 

Session 5: This was an accidental sudden session and I had zero prepped. I had already picked out a couple of enemies in case I needed a sudden battle and decided to have a griffon swoop in on the attack. They brought it down to like 2 health and then chose to knock it unconscious, tie it up, and then interrogate it once it woke and I’m just here like 

Pulled a griffon voice and plot out of my ass yep okay. Incidentally, griffons totally know when you’re lying. Or at least when Eirlys was lying. They did a great job talking it around to revealing that it didn’t remember how or why it had chosen to attack them. (It also had a family and kids, just saying.) Our heroes pieced together that both the scarecrow and griffon had had an identical flaming eye thing going on and correctly deduced that something was possessing them into being hostile. 

I say possessing like I planned this or had any idea who or what was doing the possessing ahead of time. I did not. I do now, because I had to back my claims up somehow, but that was a plot point I had not planned lmao

Session 6 & 7: (These two were back-to-back with no plot break in the middle so I’m lumping them.) I’m here like yep I have this under control now. We’re going to Spiderweb Vale, I actually planned a puzzle this time around, AND a dungeon, this is totally under control.

Boy was I wrong.

Eirlys attempted to fling herself off a clifftop, they nearly turned around at the dungeon entrance because spiders, and then got stuck on the puzzle and needed a bunch of hints. I had planned a maze based on a sort of crosswords-style puzzle and had no idea how well it would go.

All that being said, it was a blast. I had such a good time adapting things on the fly for them. Kinda forgot to plan anything for the dead ends and played that super fast and loose, and had also forgotten to theme the dungeon and so pulled a description out of nowhere, but we muddled through.

Side note, dungeons are really big. And kind of repetitive. I used a lot of DM power to slide us as smoothly as possible through the whole dungeon (we might have skipped like half of it through handwavey magic)

But we got through it and they did fairly well against the phase spider mega boss and got the second shape bar thing! 

I’m learning more and somehow prepping less every session as we go, but as long as everyone’s having fun I consider it a success. I have more of the end-game fleshed out and some loose ideas for each landmark and we’re just gonna chill and see what happens. 

So now, onward and upwards to the Dead Man’s Cave!. 

[houseofkooks]

aaaaa this is just a note 2 myself but CHIVES IF YOU’RE READING THIS know that it’s inspired by ur twt ahaha (idk if you’re on tumblr anymore but just in case!!!)

u mentioned lack of motivation and i think it’s something that we and a lot of people our age are experiencing. so i thought a lot about it and i just wanted to jot down all my little THOTS so that i can come back to them later as reminders and as encouragements (?) for myself but anyway yes here i go

mmmk so i didn’t learn a lotta things in college bc i rly just relied on short term memory for most tests. but i do faintly remember learning about different types of motivation in one of the health science classes. 

this is v similar to what i had in my textbook

so i read up on them again bc heck no i don’t actually remember wat each of them means.

short summary

amotivation: lack of intentionality resulting from not valuing an activity, not feeling competent to do it, or not believing it will yield a desired outcome. [me in the latter half of college, where a combination of all three made me a very big flop of goo with zero ounce of motivation]

external regulation: doing something bc you’re asked to. doing it for an external cause. [me @ work right now, just doing things bc my boss told me to, not because i really have to or because i really want to]

introjection: all about STATUS. doing something for eco-enhancements. doing it for your self-esteem [i guess this applies bc sometimes i have this dumb but thankfully fleeting thought that i need to do certain things in order to uphold my rep as someone who’s “smart.” idk but maybe this is some kinda complex that a lotta kids from rice might experience? but it’s just so dumb like the only reputation i should care about is the one that i earn from doing something i actually want to do]

identification: you’re able to identify the importance of a behavior. you have to do this in order to do something else. [like how i have to go to pt school to be a pt to earn money. i’m not sure where money as a motivator really lands in this spectrum, but this is the closest i can place it?]

integration: you do it bc you know it’s good for you, even though you might not like doing it. [EXERCISE UHGHGHGHGHG]

and ofc, the holy grail, the ultimate goal: INTRINSIC MOTIVATION. OOOOH. this is when u do things u like without having to be motivated by other things like money or external rewards. [this is me all day errday when i stare at jk’s face or watch any bts videos in general]

ok so the point of relearning all of that is to analyze my own behaviors and identify my own motivations. 

first i think it’s good to examine my intrinsic motivation. here are some things i enjoy in life. like actually love doing -- eating yummy food, traveling while eating, watching bts videos, going to bts concerts, buying bts goods, MAKEUP!!, skincare, baking, giving said baked goods to my friends, hanging out with friends (but only the few i’m comfortable with), hanging out with my mom, organizing my stuff so it looks clean and pretty, giving presents to people i love, giving things to people i don’t know, reading fics, reading books (tho lol i don’t do that anymore), watching dramas (tho y do they suck these days) and prob more but these are the most prevalent ones. 

now. all of these are not possible without money. I DON’T MAKE THE RULES bc i wish it weren’t like that either. but food, makeup, bts, even reading require MONEY bc guess wat i can’t have any of these if i’m on the streets struggling to keep my stomach full. SO MONEY IS VERY IMPORTANT DAPH. get your head straight and just accept the fact that you need money for all these things, as sad as it sounds. but the GOOD THING IS. that they don’t require a LOT of money. i mean my interests aren’t that costly or impressive. but nevertheless, ya better get ur bank account more loaded than it is rn or u in trouble.

ok 2nd point. a lotta jobs can bring me money, yes? i can keep doing what i’m doing-- sit at a desk, look at a computer all day, joke around with coworkers. theoretically it’s not that bad. i’m good at staying where i am, at maintaining the equilibrium in my life and i don’t like it to be disturbed. but HONESTLY how much money is this gonna get me? not a lot. how much enjoyment is it gonna give me? not that much. i mean honestly right now all i do is talk to my coworkers about their days and their children and their tv shows and it’s all good in the hood and it’s fun BUT I GET SHIT MONEY OK. now keep in mind, u gotta take care of your parents and grandma when you actually get a job. and when dad’s too old to work. which will prob be soon bc his job sux and his industry is dying and everything is sad and gloomy. SO U NEED MONEY. but anyway i digress bc i’m supposed to have moved on from money lol. ok OK now, a lotta jobs can bring me money. but let’s examine all of them. first of all, all the high-paying ones? I’M NOT INTERESTED. i don’t wanna be an engineer even if i could do it, i don’t wanna be a CS person, or a lawyer, or a business person. 

now here’s the part that hurts a bit every time i think about it. D o C T o R. yes i wanted to be a doctor when i was in school. but now that i think about it. did i really? do i really? nope. and this isn’t me being salty.

so when i was younger and more ambitious i wanted to be someone who made a difference. i wasn’t gonna go down in history and no one will know about me when i die except for my kids and grandkids if i even have any. but because when i die, i will have spent my entire life here in this society, i wanna actually contribute to it. so yes, as cliche and “don’t say this at interviews” as it sounds, i wanted to help people. and i still do! i want to be able to make a difference in someone’s life so that my existence isn’t just limited to my own little self. so when i was younger and more ambitious, the first profession i thought of that would fulfill this rule is to be a doctor. because that’s what doctors do! they help people. but as i later learned, to be a doctor doesn’t just entail just sitting there helping patients. and then thankfully, i was able to experience what physical therapists do, and i really really like it. it’s like helping people, but on a more long-term basis. you get to make more of an impact by forming deeper of a relationship.

if i really think about it, i don’t actually remember my doctors. like yes i’m glad they prescribed medicine to me so that i’m still alive, but i honesty don’t remember their names nor remember exactly what they did. well maybe a family doctor or OBGYN would be more rewarding, but at least for me, the people i remember are people i had to see for a long extended period of time. like my dentist when i had braces. and well i didn’t have therapy but if i did, i would imagine that my therapist would have had a larger impact on me than my doctors. 

wow this is getting unnecessarily long wtf lol

ok ANYWAY. i think when i go to pt school, my main motivation would be external in the form of identification. bc i have to do it. i have to go to school and get a degree so that i can become a pt and MAKE A DIFFERENCE in people’s lives in my own way, and also to MAKE MONEY yay. and when i do become a pt, i’m hoping this external motivation gets upgraded to an intrinsic one (or at least an integrated external motivation) where i actually enjoy what i do and want to keep doing it. 

NOW. NOTE TO FUTURE SELF. SO THAT PRESENT ME CAN PREMATURELY SAY “I TOLD U SO.”

YOU’RE NOT GONNA LUV UR JOB ALL THE TIME. you’re gonna have to do it for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. you wake up, go to work, come home and have maybe 4-5 hours to yourself, and then you have to go to sleep bc HOW ELSE will you stay awake to do another 8 hours all over again. and this isn’t school where u can just dose off and procrastinate. there are actual patients who need u to be on ur best behavior. so then you do this over and over again. and eventually it’ll all become the same. that’s just the nature of repeated exposure. it’s like ya i luv watching bts videos and reading fics but if u told me to sit there and do 40 hours of it every week and then week after week, heck no i’m not gonna like it!!! it’ll all be the same videos i watch and then i’ll already know what happens. eventually i’ll run outta fics or all the plotlines will start to feel the same!!! so yes. you’re not gonna love your job all the time because like anything else, it’ll suck when it sucks. you’ll probably have bad bosses or bad clients or just bad days. you’ll get tired of work like you got tired of school. BUT NEVER FORGET that you’re doing it because you kinda have to. and you know what kim namjoon the greatest bestest cutest wisest babs said?!?!?!?!! and prob a lotta other ppl but ima attribute it to my babs. THINGS ARE SAD TO MAKE THE HAPPY THINGS HAPPIER. (or something like that this is not a direct quote)

but yea. work will seem tedious and boring and repetitive, but that’s to make your weekends and vacation times more exciting. and it’s not like you’ll hate your job. you won’t like it every day but i’m fairly certain that there’ll be days you’ll thank me YES ME YOUR PAST SELF that i’ve made a good decision. because you’ll get to be doing what you’ve always wanted to do! to help people! to earn money so you can help even more people! and earn money so that you can do all the things you love!!!!!! yay me. yay you. hehe

for future ref: source1, source2