#because I'm insane and fret over details

[oodlezsinbin]

Day 12, Space Station! Conway's belly pressed the button to turn off the gravity and they floated away before they could turn it back on

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

Sorry I tried leaving this as comments on your reply to my ask but there was just too much waffle and it was all jumbled so I’m putting it here😂😂

Sorry it took me a MARATHON of time to reply to, I can’t explain how pleased it makes me that this comment made your day bc honestly every time you update it always seems to be during a v tough week and it’s just this ultimate stress relief and enjoyment that I so so love🥹

Just to quickly waffle about what you said, I’m so appreciative of how you fret over the characters sounding real bc it pays off SO MUCH and though I’m still of the mind that you’ve been given this unique ability to read their minds, I can recognise it must take so much studying of their characters and the words you choose and to have such a phenomenal skill <3333

And honestly I LOVE watching him have all these realisations through Suzy bc it’s so real and so satisfying and I’m so excited (but also terrified bc poor woman how do you compete with soul mates) to see how everything unfolds between them all.

And the LITTLE DETAILS that you should honestly trademark bc you do them so well 😭 but I literally have this growing list in my mind that I need to write down cause they make my heart flutter they’re so intimate and careful :’) I could literally waffle about them all day.

You’re so right, they have SUCH a special dynamic, and often I find it frustrating with real life ships bc it’s not like with films where though characters can be deep they have a specific kind of basis to them which fits a role. Real people are so complex and so it’s not 24/7 that someone gets them so right that you feel like you’re watching a segment of their lives (milex writers in general do tend to have an uncanny ability to write them brilliantly) but with you it feels like everything you write can just be added on to their actual interactions and it’s perfection.

I’m so so pleased that my ramblings had an impact on getting your confidence back to heights it should be at because I rlly can’t explain how brilliant you and your writing are so thank you thank you for all the work you put into it. I’m SO EXCITED for the next chapter 🥰🥰🥰🥰 and one day I’m gonna go into the absolute insane perfection that is the sex scene in chapter 8 bc the realism, build up, and EMOTIONS as well as pure sexyism (almost put sexism there which wasn’t quite right 😂) is just one of the best and sauciest things I’ve ever read.

💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

Also trying to add a cute lil milex hug gif to this is impossible bc they’re all far too sexually charged or emotionally unstable 😂

hiii lovely!! 💝 oh my goddddddd i swear your asks just leave me a blushing, giddy mess every single time 😭😭

i'm so glad to hear that my updates always seem to manage to coincide with a time where they're able to provide you with a little bit of comfort and escapism 🥺

honestly i've always just found other people fascinating, and have found myself imagining what the world might be like through their eyes for as long as i can remember! it's been so much fun to get to really delve deep into that in this fic, so i really love that you notice and appreciate that side of it 🥰🥰 aghhhhhh. it truly just means so much to hear that you feel i capture something real about alex and miles and their dynamic in this fic, thank you 🥺

also STOP your flailing about the smut scene is too sweet 😭 i am SO glad you felt all the build up and emotions worked, and honestly any time you feel like going into it, please don't hold back - i am more than happy to hear your thoughts! it was hands down one of my favourite bits of the whole fic to write, actually 🥰

once again your utterly lovely words have lifted my spirits so much, thank you for your kindness and generosity in taking the time to share your experience of reading four walls with me 💖 you're an absolute gem and i cannot WAIT for your to read chapter nine! (which will be posted tomorrow... 😉)

(god you were not wrong about the milex hug gifs, were you?! aghhh they're both so ridiculous 😭😭 anyway here, have them being their silly, playful selves having the best time together! sending you all the best vibes for your weekend 💜🌟)

[enniewritesathing]

discussion post #2 (i think?)

This may have been a small update but More Things happened and we gotta talk about it. (Or, I'm gonna talk about it.) More like a ramble, really.

Thoughts? Comments? Concerns? Speculation? Let's talk about it. 🤔

Behind the Scenes stuff:

first off, I wouldn't have the ability to even remotely do ANY of this part without @anothersimsstory's CC conversions and I'm glad I had the foresight of downloading it when I did. (they didn't delete their shit or anything but you know how it is sometimes) and the monitor by Theraven (I don't think they have a tumblr? they have a forum tho), and the EKG leads by @jellypawss. It really pays to make niche CC!!

I had to make swatches for the monitor since it is an important visual thing... but it was wholly contingent on me finding something that's close to actual vital signs and I looked everywhere but they were all stock images and obviously didn't work for what I needed. I then had to search high and low for for it, but I found it. For real!! I had to use TWO laptops (one for settings and the other for the actual monitor) and I screenshotted it, slapped it into paint to save it, make it a swatch, rinse/repeat for I think 15? idk how many

you may think, Ennie, that's a bit much, and I say, my attention to detail game is insane when it doesn't need to be but dammit, the visuals have to make sense from a glance. That and the offchance of someone who knows read the monitor would point something out about it. That said! I tried parcing out what EtCo2 is but all I got from it is was "high number bad".

seriously, I spent... a Stupid amount of time setting that up. 🅱️lease clap for me -- I can safely say that I don't think anyone else would go that far.

I told myself after finishing The Incident I was not gonna be doing 5/6 rigs all in one shot again. (🤡)

The lighting situation drove me up the damn wall and after a point, I just said fuck it. What I didn't anticipate was the stark contrast of John and The Werewolf talking and the memory in terms of setting. It's really cool, I think.

I fretted over this part the whole time because I didn't know what order I wanted and what I was going for, but I think I escalated it properly.

For The Werewolf's veins, I had to do the ol' S4S shuffle, but they are a combination of 3, maybe 4 and ofc had to make outfits for the progression, which is why he's still rocking the half-sleeve look (and from an age/timeline stand point makes him 21/22ish). You know what, let's look at them again!

it's a good look

Speaking of... I had to make a lot of The Werewolf solo poses and I found out that uh, it's all in the brows; they can completely change the meaning. It's bad enough with the angles and the general body language. (Or maybe not? Eh.)

Another visual thing -- The Big Scene... that one, I had going back and forth with it until I decided going all white for The Werewolf's eyes (or lack of pupils). It was far more striking and way scarier than the 'blank' eyes I tend to go with.

seriously, I contemplated on tagging it as a jump scare.

Oh! and the shaking of 3 pics, that was spur of the moment because I really kept going back into the post and something was just missing. I have a (cracked) PhotoMosh and I played with the setting a bit and bingo.

It is probably my favorite post so far. I had to settle with the fact that it's not gonna be the one to be spread around. Or any of it really.

Story Stuff:

There's so many crumbs in this! So. Many. There's even a loaf of bread or two. If you tell me what you're picking up on and you're on some kind of track, you get a cookie (🍪). (I'm serious, btw)

John's clearly shook. This may be the first time we've really seen him like this. And The Werewolf is nonchalant... (I will admit John looks very pretty when he's like this lol)

...or is he? I think there are more cracks in the dam than you'd think. A while back in a post that's somewhere on this blog, but John has a tendency to play with his hands when he's anxious.

Another thing that I just noticed is that they didn't really look at each other; I wonder what that's all about?

I've said it once and I'll say it again; even though they share the same body, John and The Werewolf look very different from one another, and I think that's neat.

Jordan being real about taking advantage of the fact that they're getting paid $$$ and they'd be dumb to not take up the offer.

I had to remember that Brian did not know John was a werewolf at this point in time, or even begin to really put 2+2 together. I call it a bit of genre blindness, helped by the fact that this didn't happen all the time. He just rolled with it. Also, wow he looks very young without his tats; ofc this was the college years and he was beginning to fill out/eating good.

Mark is the smartest dude in the whole story. He said, nope, nuh uh, I'm OUT. IYKYK.

There were so many pics I wanted to take of Daniel punching The Werewolf right in the solar plexus (or thereabouts it might've been slightly lower than that). As they say in the FGC, he failed to block that overhead.

I'm glad I decided to leave in the fact that The Werewolf couldn't see too well.

The Werewolf blew his vocal cords out screaming. He said that shit with his soul. Rarely do I go with the funky text with him since that's his "big scary werewolf" voice (that and he rarely speaks like that). My man said "I'll make you suffer my pain." Beautiful. Can't wait to see how that plays out.

That said, The Werewolf did work himself up to the point of nearly killing himself on accident. But as Charles predicted, his body hit the emergency button and shut that shit down.

I spent the most time worried about this part because it needed to get the point across without it being so... cheesy?

also, I have to say? The Werewolf is a Swearwolf. *rimshot*

The Fucking Around part has ended... The Finding Out part is really going to be fun to watch. (I mean, you can already do this if you haven't but now you have way more context.)

There's something about The Werewolf that's becoming apparent (to us). He's still holding back on his actual feelings. Not only that... he hasn't gotten to John himself and I think that's where it's really gonna go down. John knows this; he's not naive to think that he didn't have a role in all of this too. Something to think about.

Charles is a flat out Nasty Man (very derogatory) and yet, I kinda enjoy writing it.

I do love how he is formal with names, "dear ____" and referring to John's formal name Johnathan.

which I always forget this mfer is named Johnathan. Nobody calls him that.

[writercole]

Update Update Update

Okay sue me, I like that New Orleans view.

Let's talk, besties! Here's what's going on with me.

Feeling a bit of a burnout with writing. Don't misunderstand me - I'm still writing. I'm just chasing different stories right now.

Most of you guys know - I've been really open about this - that I've been struggling to find a job for almost 2 years now. Well, I finally got an opportunity. It starts training on May 1 but I'm pretty...skeptical because I've been screwed over so many times. I should note that there is nothing that suggests that this is a screwover but I'm just pessimistic at this point.

That's going to do one of two things - either I'm going to be writing a lot more or a lot less. I'm hoping it's the former.

I have like 100 stories in development currently and I get more and more ideas every day. Some of these are fanfic, some of them are probably going to be publications. Keep an eye here and at @coleslibrary for any updates or new publishing announcements.

My first three books are all available on Amazon currently and the next one will be there as well. I'm going to go ahead and say that instead of minor rewrites and name changes, this next one, the rewrite of Sounds of Someday, is going to be a whole new story. The basic plot will stay the same but so many details are going to be changed that it's going to read as all new.

Master lists are going to be posting throughout the next month. Mostly actor specific ones that I've been having in my drafts for far too long. They will be updated accordingly.

Most of my upcoming stuff will be collections - stories set in the same universe that don't have to be read together and contain multiple main characters. The first of those is my country club collection - A Drive For Love - starting with Golf Pro Bradley Bradshaw.

Last year I promised a Dad!Jake series. Well, good news on that front. I'm about halfway through writing the series. You'll Be In My Heart should be debuting in the next month or so. It does have to go back through my betas but each chapter will be a different POV and will vary in word count but will contain one scene. The FMC has been changed from a reader to an OC. I'm sure this will affect readership but I don't really care.

I think that's about it on that front. I want to send out a couple of shoutouts to a couple of people before I finish here.

First, @princessmisery666, Stacey, babe, I don't know what I'd do without you. You've become the Opie to my Jax, the level headed guiding light to my chaotic ways. Though you do encourage some of my more angsty ideas and I love you for that. I love you, period. I got this. 💞

To @ryebecca. You're my twinsie and my sounding board. You help my rational brain take over the emotional side more often than not and never make me feel bad for having a different opinion. I love you mostest.

To @imjess-themess and @blue-aconite. You two beautiful souls keep me grounded on days where I'm trying to dissociate all the time. I know you don't realize the things you do to help my mental state lately but just know that the two of you mean the world to me. I love you both.

@fuckyeahhangman. What can I say about your gorgeous face other than I absolutely love it like a cat loves sunshine.

@wildbornsiren My swamp gremlin. The amount of times I've turned to you when I've had a bad day is steadily increasing and I am so grateful for your acceptance of my insanity. I love you!

And last but certainly not least @never--doubt. I know I say it all the time, but I'm so proud of you and so thankful for your friendship. You're like the little sibling I always wanted and I'm so happy that we found one another through this hellsite.

If you're reading this and you're not listed, fret not. I still love you. I just might have forgotten what your new URLs are.

[unclekaz]

i'll be honest, springtrap and nolan having personal journals has been very prominent on my mind, mainly just imagining how they write.

springtrap has very good calligraphy but it's slightly sloppy since he never figured out a comfortable position for his writing hand in his life, awhile nolan literally writes chicken scratch. even nolan can't read what he writes, he only knows what it says because he remembered what he wrote down awhile writing it.

but also im imagining their styles of writing. nolan is very expressive and impactful in his mind because you know. machine theory is a perspective fic- but im imagining it's surprisingly brief but also details nolan's feelings. it's essentially what he always wants to say but could never bear to speak it, i.e his inner dialogue translated into a physical form

springtrap? it's his diary. it's full of solid looking doodles, the occasional sketch of nolan, and probably a LOT of mentally ill and likely very bad poetry. he absolutely hides it somewhere because of just how insanely obsessed he is in love with his husband, venting his feelings but also expressing is love in one center place. he'd love tumblr

press see more for two prompts each that are supposed to be excerpts from springtrap's and nolan's personal journals, you'll uh. you'll understand who's who.

'He's impossible to deal with some days. I cannot help but fret and worry over his conditions, but all he does is give me that warm smile. Well... At least I can always be there for him. It still distresses me to see him so thin. To think he's capable of so much while nearly being skin wrapped over bone is horrific. He seems to like my cooking, so maybe everything will be okay after all.'

'Come and see, please, indentured shall be thee to save my lover's soul. For he cannot bear the champion's curse any longer! Come, bitter conduct. Come, unsavory guide! Save the soul of my eternally damned beloved! For they seek a treasure unpossessed, a yearning in the heart unfulfilled with viscera... Save them, oh thee! Save them!'

-|-|-;ɛ -|-|-;()|_]o}|-;-|- ()/= |_ɛ/-\\/||\|o} |-;||nn ||\| }()|nnɛ()|\|ɛ'} [/-\/~ɛ /-\|\|o| o|/~|\/||\|o} ()/=/= |} /-\ /~ɛ()[[|_]/~/~||\|o} -|-|-;()|_]o}|-;-|-. |-|- }|[|<ɛ|\|} |nnɛ -|-() ɛ\/ɛ|\| [()|\|}|o|ɛ/~ -|-|-;/-\-|-. | \/\/|}|-; | [()|_]|_o| -|-/-\|_|< -|-() |-;||nn /-\|o()|_]-|- -|-|-;|}, |o|_]-|- |-;|} ɛ-/ɛ}... |/= ()|\||_-/ |-;ɛ |<|\|ɛ\/\/ \/\/|-;/-\-|- /-\ }|[|< |0|_]|0|0-/ |-;ɛ |-;/-\o| ()|\| |-;|} |-;/-\|\|o|}...

(The thought of leaving him in someone's care and driving off is a reoccurring thought. It sickens me to even consider that. I wish I could talk to him about this, but his eyes... If only he knew what a sick puppy he had on his hands...)

|nn-/ |o()o|-/ |} }-|-/-\/~-|-||\|o} -|-() }|_()\/\/ o|()\/\/|\| -|-|-;/-\|\||<} -|-() |nn-/ |\|ɛo}|_ɛ[-|-. |'|nn [/-\|0/-\|o|_ɛ, |o|_]-|- |\|()-|- |_]|\|}-|-()|0|0/-\|o|_ɛ. -|-|-;ɛ |-;|_]|\|o}ɛ/~ |0/-\|\|o}} /-\/~ɛ o}ɛ-|--|-||\|o} \/\/()/~}ɛ, -|-|-;ɛ ||\|}()|nn|\||/-\ |} }-|-/-\/~-|-||\|o} -|-() |<ɛɛ|0 |nnɛ |_]|0 /=()/~ /-\ \/\/ɛɛ|< }-|-/~/-\|o}|-;-|-. | /'|_]}-|- [/-\|\|'-|- |oɛ/-\/~ -|-() -|-ɛ|_|_ |-;||nn... |-;ɛ'o| }-|-/-\/~-|- [/~-/||\|o} ()\/ɛ/~ |nn-/ [()|\|o||-|-|()|\| /-\|\|o| |oɛo}o}||\|o} |nnɛ -|-() -|-/-\|<ɛ [/-\/~ɛ ()/= |nn-/}ɛ|_/=. ()/~, |-;ɛ'|_|_ o|() |-|- |-;||nn}ɛ|_/=. |'o| |_()\/ɛ -|-() ɛ|\|\/|}|()|\| |-;||nn \/\/|-;|}|0ɛ/~||\|o} }\/\/ɛɛ-|- |\|()-|-|-;||\|o}} ||\|-|-() |nn-/ ɛ/-\/~} -|-() |-;ɛ|_|0 |nnɛ }|_ɛɛ|0.

(My body is starting to slow down thanks to my neglect. I'm capable, but not unstoppable. The hunger pangs are getting worse, the insomnia is starting to keep me up for a week straight. I just can't bear to tell him... He'd start crying over my condition and begging me to take care of myself. Or, he'll do it himself. I'd love to envision him whispering sweet nothings into my ears to help me sleep.)

[goose-books]

hi max!! i'm the anon who asked you about amt- i promise i'm not ignoring you, i'm just very busy rn and want to message you once i have time to read it :) i have another question: you have quite a lot of projects on this blog but you've also had this up for a few years, how long did it take you to finish each work?

like i've been looking through your project pages and am wondering what your typical process + finished work looks like because i think it's SO impressive that you've got all these organized laid-out lists of your works, with so many character development and plot details. like with amt, you said there were 16 episodes; how long was each and how did you develop the plot through a podcast format divided by episodes?? what about love, h or valentine van velt which (i think) are shorter than your other works? also do you have any tips for committing and working on & finishing a project?

and ditto that i am not ignoring you, just! school. < falls over and dies. anyway this got really long so i'm going to answer your last question first and then put the stuff specific to my projects under the cut so i don't bloat everyone's dashboard

committing to and finishing things is also hard for me, in part because i have a really terrible attention span (and in part because editing scares me, so i tend to draft things and then immediately move onto the next shiny project while the old one flounders messily). but some things that work for me:

i have multiple projects, but i only draft one thing at once. at all times i am thinking about four or five stories. this is because i am insane and everything in the world is about my writing. this actually works pretty well, because i spend a lot of time letting ideas marinate in my head. i tend to get struck by inspiration, write the first chapter or few pages of a project, then spend the next, eh, six months?* just listening to music and Thinking About It Really Hard. but eventually i hit a point where my google doc of scattered notes is substantial and i feel brave enough to actually draft the thing, and when this happens, i put my other projects aside. i mean, i'll still think about them sometimes, but i put my concerted effort toward the Current and Present Beast, because otherwise i will never do it.

(*my process with AMT was the least typical here--usually i draft in a mad dash for the end, but AMT was episodic in a way that let me drift in and out of it, so a lot of my marination time took place between episodes. but it still kind of counts if you consider that i had the original idea of lesbian high school romeo and juliet, like, two years before i figured out how to make it work as a story.)

okay, so when do i start drafting something? used to be "never," because i was convinced i needed an airtight plot and setting before i could actually do anything. my oldest oldest projects (if you remember Quark and TMR, you are entitled to a veteran's discount--) have existed for AGES because i was, like, fourteen and convinced i needed to write a plot that would make blake snyder cry. this may work for some people! but in my case i've learned that i need to just... go at the first draft, even if there are holes in it, because i usually patch up those holes along the way with sudden bursts of genius. and, worst case scenario, i can go back and fill extra info in, which i cannot do to a blank page. (i've also learned that a too detailed outline takes the fun out of it for me; i need to be able to surprise myself along the way.)

i figured this out because i realized i like to give myself external timeslots. things like nanowrimo have been hugely helpful: they have a set start date, so i cannot putter around forever fretting that my worldbuilding is thin. obligatory statement that i know nanowrimo has some problems, but it could be anything--you could even just go, "okay, i'm gonna start this in october," or, "i'm gonna start this the next time i'm on break from school" (unless you work year round and then i don't know, i'm sorry, i'm not a real adult).

extra points if there is an end to this (eg. the end of the month; the point when you have to go back to school)--not because you have to finish by that deadline, because nobody's gonna sue you, but because 1. you know you are not in drafting mania forever and will soon do something else, and 2. you can set goals more strategically than "uhhhh i want it to be done." of all the projects i have drafted successfully, i would say 60%? were nano efforts that just spilled over into december and january, because by that point i had enough momentum to keep going (at a slightly less mad-dash pace).

throughout the whole process of marinating and drafting, i try to find comparable/inspiring media! this doesn't have to be as specific as a publishing comp title; it's literally just anything that gets me excited about the project. that way, when i'm chilling and not actively writing, i'm still turning over ideas, even if it's just with half of my brain. for example, with darkling, obviously i read a bunch of king lear retellings/adaptations, but i also focused on: books with similar worldbuilding vibes (eg. Nghi Vo's The Chosen and the Beautiful); books concerning autism and schizophrenia (for representation reasons & just to get my brain going); and books on abusive relationships (surprise surprise; darkling is about king lear).

because i have a huge boner for lists and organization i have a google doc where i have put some media comps for each of my projects (most of which i haven't read yet, but also some books that inspired me or hit the tone i want. or books i hate that inspired me via spite). i consult it fitfully

but how do i know which project to work on when i have so many? great question. i don't have good advice here. a lot of my projects coincide with intense hyperfixations (obviously darkling was my lear era; godsong started with the start of my roman history... thing...), which makes it easier. beyond that, i try to figure out which projects have the most groundwork laid. although perhaps groundwork is the wrong word, because i find that for me personally, it's not a matter of how much i know about characters and plot, but how crazy i am about the stuff i do have. the main reason i write as much as i do is because concepts seize me and thrash me around. this is why i have never tried to do story commissions, because i worry that i won't ever finish something if it isn't living in my mind rent-free 24/7 when i should be doing homework.

this is not something i can really advice about because it's just how my brain works, but i will say that if you (general; not necessarily you, anon) have had trouble finishing things in the past, it might not be a problem of structure--it might just be that you haven't had Your Absolute Favorite Idea yet. and at some point you will have an idea that obsesses you so thoroughly that you have no other choice. i mean, external structure is also really important, don't get me wrong. but sometimes you have to start twenty things to find the thing you really want to work on.

(and sometimes you have to start the same project four times to make it work. i rarely fully Give Up on something; i just tuck it into my back pocket in case i figure it out someday or cannibalize it for parts. in fall 2022 i started a short story, then realized i didn't have a plot or even a series of events and ran out of steam, but i kept thinking about it occasionally. and then almost exactly a year later, i went, "oh!," and went back to it and finished it and i'm pretty sure it got me into clarion west. so. nothing is ever lost!!! you can always repurpose characters or plots or lines from unfinished projects!!! you can always revive them like frankenstein!!! it's always morally correct!!!)

ok maxproject nonsense under the cut

re: "how long do they take?" this is the worst possible answer but. It Depends. some of the projects i have up still aren't finished. once i start drafting, i'm pretty fast, but the marination part can last months or years. i also think my outlining has been getting increasingly detailed, mostly because i've finally sort of figured out how story structure works.

i wrote valentine van velt in the summer of 2020 (and yeah, comparatively, that is really short for me), and with that i had a vague idea of the plot and sectioned it into eight (okay, seven) "parts," and then i just... started typing. (re: love h: i actually have not written more than a few scattered scenes from this yet. it's lying in wait. someday it'll grab me by the hair again)

darkling (drafted late 2020) and AMT (2019-2020) came out roughly the same: i started with a big-picture plot (easy; shakespeare gave them to me), then plotted out each episode or act before writing it (darkling is split into seven acts), but i was also actively writing as i was doing that plotting so it was sort of a cartoon of a guy putting railroad tracks down in front of his train at lightspeed. like, "oh, i'm gonna start act five tomorrow, better figure out what fucking happens in it [beyond 'the plot of king lear']!" with darkling i would figure out roughly what was going to happen in each act + which POV would go in which order, and i would do this literally the night before i started typing the next chapter, and it was like a beautiful desperate puzzle. with AMT, i had a vague list of "this stuff happens next" and i would try to squash closely-related events into the same episode. don't ask me how long the episodes are. we can't talk about this

my more recent writing has been a little more structured--godsong is the longform thing i'm working on right now, and the outlines have gotten to the "i know how many chapters there are going to be and who does what in them" stage of neuroticism. though, granted, i still need that element of surprise, so a lot of the time it looks like this

i left my typos in there because i'm an honest man.

anyway so "how long did it take" depends on whether you're counting just the drafting or the whole marinating part. i started thinking about godsong in 2021 and i started writing it that nanowrimo, and i finished the draft in january, but godsong2 (there are gonna be three of them. pray for me) took longer because it was more complicated and i was busier (that was summer 2022--summer 2023). darkling is my fast freak of a son because i read king lear in march 2020 and then finished the draft 2021 and ignored it forever after, amen. AMT secretly goes back to, like, 2017, because that was when i first thought, "hey, what if i wrote a high school romeo and juliet with lesbians," so some of the characters were bobbing around my brain before i started writing, but the actual writing was... two years? three? something like that. i wrote the first pages of VVVID in summer 2019 (guess who was in... [jazz hands] exposure therapy!), but i didn't write any more of it until summer 2020, when i was like, "okay, i'm now 17, this is the book about being 17, i'm just gonna chug after it until it's done." my old old bastards (quark & TMR) still exist in fragmented pieces, especially because it's hard to try to figure out which parts to retain or discard from a story you invented when you were Fucking Thirteen, but they remain in my head so i feel like it counts.

holy shit this is such a long answer. i am so sorry. thank you so much for the kind words and questions. gently applies a sticker to your forehead