#because *exhausted peace sign* that's life baby

[cookinguptales]

As I start writing a wwdits fic that leans a little more into body horror than my usual work, I have to say... it's kind of odd, writing body horror while disabled, especially when it very much is your own body that is the horror.

As a lot of you know, due to my myriad stupid illnesses, I deal with chronic and occasionally very dangerous low blood volume. (As in, chronic blindness & passing out, trained nurses often cannot find my pulse, blood pressure machines malfunction, phlebotomists use ultrasounds to find my veins and blood still won't come out levels of low blood volume.) This can be very funny when I'm in a vampire fandom, but also kind of a weird experience. Like... yes, I do feel in some ways uniquely suited to write vampires. I also do not have enough blood, crave it regularly, can't go out in the sun, etc.

But in some ways, I'm almost too suited to writing vampires? Like... if there's one thing I've learned with vampire media, it's that there's a line. If you're not trying to invoke a sense of sick sort of body horror, then you cannot go full hypoxia. It freaks people out. You have to be careful with things like skin color and temperature, because things can get too corpse-y too quickly and suddenly your vampire is just scary and not sexy anymore.

It's an odd line to straddle when writing fiction when it's not one you necessarily can IRL. Like I know that people tend to find gray/purple/blue skin viscerally off-putting in a lizard brain sense, and I know this because I have seen people literally flinch while looking at me on bad blood days. People who love me! People who are almost as used to my condition as I am!

(Hell, there are days when I look in the mirror and I'm like "ugh, christ!" There really is something very weird and corpse-like about it!)

And chilly Twilight skin is one thing, but when you start describing it accurately as bone-chilling, as warmth-sapping, as when people touch you, they instantly feel colder and it does not stop because you will never be warm, then uh. Yeah, again, we start getting more into horror story scenarios.

So... you kind of have to learn to scale it back. Put in an "acceptable" amount of what you deal with every day. They wear thick clothes in the house and force Guillermo to stoke all those fires because they're chronically cold. Their skin loses its color and goes a bit sallow, but not quite to the discoloration point. They get listless and crabby when they're low on blood, but they're not going blind and passing out in the bath.

Like... you saw it, kind of, with what they did with Jenna. Jenna really showed me that they know what it's actually like, but they purposefully chose to scale it back with the vampires. Because bro, when Jenna was on death's door I was like "yeah haha that's what it's like." But that was played for horror, as well as somewhat horrified laughter, rather than the fun kind of sexy humor you get in the rest of the show. There's that line, y'know? At a certain point, you have to draw away from what this stuff would actually do to a human body because that's uh. That's just a corpse. And people are generally not corpsefuckers.

But then, then you decide to write a story where you lean into it a little. Where a character is actually made sick by vampirism, or something very like it. You lean into the sickfic aspects of it, you lean into the body horror. And you realize... you're just writing your own body, the way it actually is, in all of its off-putting horror. It's the lying in bed for hours because you don't have enough blood to raise your head, it's the world spinning and the nausea that claws at you from the inside because food is necessary and disgusting and you can't stand the thought of it because you know it'll make you sick, it's your lips going gray and purple and white and your fingers being too weak to even hold your phone upright. It's the weird craving for blood that you laugh off, but uhh, it actually is kind of weird, isn't it?

It's becoming empty when you are not actively filling yourself up, because your body cannot maintain that homeostasis on its own.

idk. It's a weird, fascinating kind of feeling, writing true blood loss on a regular basis. Leaning into how actually awful it is. idk if this is cathartic or upsetting, honestly speaking. (I'm just talking out my feelings now, lmao.) I guess at least I can drink saline and wrap my hands in a heating pad and eat bloody hamburger and take long, long naps. These weird undead characters have fewer options than I do, partially because I have given them fewer options.

I guess the horror that I'm leaning into is actually what scares me this time... I mean, there are definitely aspects of it that I've never had to deal with (mostly... the murder parts) but. Hmm.

This fic may end up being more personal than I had anticipated lmao.

[lilacgaby]

brrr being pregnant with husband!gojo. that's it.

satoru, who thought he couldn't have been any more happier than the day you two got married, but was proven wrong when you showed him those two lines.

satoru, who spun you around in happiness, he couldn't believe this was real, that he was to have his own perfect family with you.

he'd happily go shopping around with you. for random things you suddenly felt like buying, things for the nursery, clothes and toys for the baby, buy whatever just kiss him after.

you'd have a baby shower, with so many of his sorcerer students and coworkers invited. satoru shoving party hats on everyone, and making them wear colored shirts too for the occasion. satoru prayed to whatever gods that would listen that he'd have a baby girl with you, even telling megumi to wear a pink shirt for good luck.

when you two cut the cake together and saw it was pink, he was the happiest man in the world. jumping up and down with yuuji and nobara in glee, he was seriously on cloud nine.

even through the rough times in your pregnancy, like the annoyingly specific cravings that needed to be satiated, the eternal feeling of sickness, the swollen nose, he'd be there through it all, he'd even call of work (not like he doesn't look for any excuse to do so already) just to comfort and be next to you.

when you give birth, i think he'd be the type to almost faint at the sight, because even though he's seen deformation and death that would give anyone nightmares for years, the action of giving life to someone was surprisingly more scary.

the polaroid photo he made the doctor snap of you, sweaty and exhausted, your baby, resting on your chest, and him doing a peace sign right after you gave birth is now his wallpaper and good luck charm that he keeps in his pocket. he tries to show it to everyone, but you're embarrassed of how you look in it. but him, with his rose-colored glasses for anything to do with you, will full on tilt his head in confusion as to why.

annoyingly good dad to your daughter, but is one of those 'let them get hurt and learn from it types', which is hard to let slide when dealing with a newborn.

[astrowrld300]

Astro observations

Pt 3

Leo placements are not afraid to be romantic and I love it

Even though Sagittarius placements are super optimistic, the suns are never afraid to say when they are unhappy with something. It can come off as complaining and miserable after a while

Sagittarius suns are also more prone to depression because of how optimistic they can be sometimes, so when the harsh truth of reality hits and comes crashing down on them, they can’t handle it

The non-chalant taurus sun is just an act. They feel. A lot. They’re literally just too lazy to show they care sometimes. And when they don’t care, it’s never personal, but they’re never too lazy to freak out on you for messing with one of their material things.

Venus-Neptune conjunct/trine natives are mesmerizing. They’re beauty is dreamy, ethereal and absolutely out of this world

Virgo rising women have a very distinctive, sexy walk. It’s that hip swaying, one foot in front of another momentum. Could easily be a model just from their walk alone

Virgo men are usually always short and look like nerds

Virgo women are usually on the smaller/petite side. I see most struggle to gain weight or keep it. They also might be lean their whole life.

Taurus moon is a hella underrated placement when it comes to loyalty. These babies are generally too lazy to go out of their way too cheat on you. The sneaking and lying, they don’t have the energy for all that emotionally. Would rather just stay loyal until they leave

Aries suns and cancer risings are naturally built, they don’t need to work much on their bodies to have an attractive build

Leo mars get so mad when their ego is hurt and have a huge praise kink in bed

You could have been outshined by your siblings during childhood if your moon is in Leo, or your mom could have neglected you emotionally and not given you the attention you deserve

Help why are gemini moons so good at love bombing. So are Leo placements and aries venuses but that’s because they lose interest fast. Gemini moons can literally not have any interest in you at all and still love bomb tf outta you

Cancer men are funny asf. Their humour is like a gay best friend. Libra sun men are like this as well

Libras a masculine sign but they’re so feminine and gay. Both men and women

Taurus is a feminine sign but can be so masc sometimes. It’s more in the personality for women and the physicality for men

You need to prioritize self care if you have venus in the second house

Taurus men are the chillest people yk until you start doing them how they’re really doing you

Aquarius and Leo suns have the same amount of ego because they’re sister signs. Leo just isn’t afraid to show it and it’s a little bit more of a god complex for Aquarius

Aries moons start to throw things when they’re upset

Brush your hair out during Leo full moons!

Lilith in the sixth house natives tend to struggle keeping up with daily routines. They may also fall victim to sex scandals in the work place

Libra risings have such a classy, sweet and angelic look but are literally the opposite in reality

It’s exhausting trying to get emotional depth from a gemini moon, don’t even try

2nd house moon synastry makes the house person super possessive and insecure over the moon person, constantly trying to hold them down. There’s a lot of jealousy both emotionally and physically in the relationship

Capricorn risings give of crazy office siren vibes

Libra moon women know that beauty comes from within. They also have such a good eye when it comes to aesthetics and beauty. Their sensitivity to conflict is so cute, it’s they’re need for peace and harmony that makes them so attractive

Mercury at 0 degrees natives have no idea what they actually sound like

Everyone talks about Leo and how big their egos are but no one ever talks about Libra sun men. They always think they’re the prize when dating and their egos are huge

Pisces moons really do have those big dreamy eyes. Both men and women

Mars in 7th house natives tend to direct and put alot of their energy into relationships and partnerships. It may not even be intentional, you might find relationships just tend to drain your energy more than anything else in life

Aries moons are super masculine and have such defined jaws, even more then the sun

Cancer sun women have that timeless kind of look and can pull off so many different timelines of beauty

Taurus moons have thick necks

Gemini moons all have their eyes super close together. They also don’t mean anything they say

Capricorn and taurus women are such bread winners. They truly mastered the law of money

You’ll never see it coming but Taurus men will actually play tf outta you. Any sign has the potential to, but you really don’t see it coming with taurus men

Natives with Pluto in the eighth house are really resistant to change and may struggle to let go of destructive habits

Aries venus has this huge rep for being players but they actually feel super intensely when in love. They don’t like superficial relationships and want a deep, intense connection. Maybe they should stop going for emotionally unavailable people just because they like the chase …

Virgo moons make such good gardeners, it tends to be really therapeutic for them. Doing chores around the house like washing dishes is also super emotionally therapeutic for natives with Virgo moons

Pisces and Aries moons are more likely to get addicted to substances, but for different reasons. Pisces moons use it to escape reality while Aries moons use it to numb the intensity of their emotions

Instead of drugs, 5th house moons/mars/saturn natives use the pleasure in life to cope with emotions or trauma

Earth moons are super sensitive to light and loud noises

Taurus suns take their self care so seriously. It’s like an entire ritual to them. Their whole life even

10th house venus can indicate looking better as you age

Personal Leo placements will be the type to not be interested but decided to keep you around just for the attention anyways. Especially when it’s in the venus. This goes for the men and women

Virgo risings and gemini venuses are so adaptable to the people they hang out with

Gemini moons are babies to me, they just wanna be heard

Cancer rising women always have fat asses I’m not even joking.

Aries risings, venus 10th house and cancer rising natives age so gracefully

It’s such common knowledge for Pisces moons to be lowkey drug addicts but no one ever talks about how easy it is for Virgo and Gemini moons to get addicted to substances. These moon natives are constantly in their heads and always analyzing their emotions, using drugs to shut it off

Leo mercuries talk like children when they’re excited

Having your sun at 8 degress may cause you to have an obsessive personality, especially in circumstances where your ego is involved

Suns at Virgo degrees have such small features, especially if the sun is Cancer or Aries

There’s no point on trying to hate on a Virgo moon, they hate themselves more than you ever could. And the more you try and help them with their insecurity, the more they’ll push you away. They genuinely do not believe your reassurance, they’ll ask you for it anyways though.

Leo women like to take advantage of Pisces men. I’ve seen this scenario so many times both personally and within celebrities, Leo women like the power they feel when they’re using Pisces men.

Having a Virgo moon indicates your mom was extremely nit picky with you and strict asf while you were growing up. She was a perfectionist while raising you and had higher expectations from you vs her other kids. Your mothers lowkey made you hate yourselves I’m so sorry.

Leo mercuries and mars sometimes yell when they talk and don’t even realize. Aries mercury’s know they’re yelling, they just don’t think it’s a big deal

Mars in the first house is extremely intimidating. You could be 5 foot tall and still have this scary energy.

Mars-mercury conjuct in a synastry chart is super underrated. The energy is matched so well during convos and they get each other so passionately. Things get crazy aggressive when arguments pop up though.

Scorpio suns are possessive and jealous over the people they love while taurus suns are possessive of material things and the stuff they own.

Aries mercuries will say the rudest shit to you and then say they were just being honest, but it’s true. These natives hate delusion so much and will keep you in check

Having your mercury at the 17 degrees can make you naturally dramatic when you talk or come off as louder when speaking.

Virgo 4th house natives like their home really clean

People with prominent 9th house placements value education and higher learning so much. If you want to hurt a 9th house stellium, criticize their intelligence and academic accomplishments

You can have a lot more problems with tech during mercury retrogrades when you have heavy/personal Gemini and Virgo placements.

Leo mercuries ( especially those born in the generation with Pluto in Aquarius) are you guys okay? You’ll be having one of the hardest transits for almost 20 years.

[resi4skz]

THE CONTEST (Pt 1)

Synopsis: you discover skz in 2023 and you life hasn't been the same. You enter a contest and your life takes an exciting turn.

Pairing: idol!Chan x fem!Reader

Warnings: none for this one!

It had been just over a year that you had become a STAY. And you had loved every new things about Stray Kids. To their smiles, their handsome looks, learning their names and who was the oldest to the youngest, and watching all of their music videos. You tried to catch up from their pre-debut but there was so much content to watch that you had to put a pause on the watching and mainly focused on the new content.

You also changed your twitter into a fan account, sharing, reposting and posting about how hot or cute the members were. You found their music healing, in a way because a year ago, you weren't in the right state of mind. You were mentally exhausted by life giving you shit, so much that you were actually thinking about ending it all. Even your life at one point.

Last year in April, you were crying one sunday early morning and decided to browse youtube because that's what you did when nothing else worked. You were going down the live broadcast list when someone caught your eye. 'Chan's room ep. 208.' A young man sitting on a chair with a black couch in the back, looking very handsome as he talked to, what seemed like were his fans. You immediately picked on the language he was speaking because of the amount of korean dramas you had watched.

You snuggled back into your blanket, his words of encouragement soothed your heart as you watched him through your laptop screen. Your eyes lit up as you heard him talk in english. And was that an Australian accent? You watched him talk about the next comeback him and his group will have, sometime in June. You were curious to find more about the group and luckily one of the comments displayed 'Stray Kids.'

You picked up your phone and searched for the name. Immediately, a group of 8 men popped up as one by one you searched each of their names to know who was who. And for some reason you went from youngest to oldest without realizing. So when you typed Bang Chan in the search bar, the same man popped up from the youtube livestream. "It's him," you said, flicking your eyes on the laptop screen just as he smiled and laughed. Your heart skipped a beat and it has never done that.

And then you watch as he stands up, saying 'big hug' hugging the screen. It tugged at your heart as he sits back down. "Bye stays, baby stays, see you next time!" He holds up a peace sign by his eye, does a winky face and clicks his tongue before the livestreams ends.

Fresh tears flow down your cheeks as a sob escapes your lips. That hug felt warm to you and yet distant which the thought of it now had you bawling your eyes out. You search up Stray Kids on youtube and start watching a bunch of videos.

An hour later, you were clutching your stomach from laughing so hard. How did you ever go about your day without knowing these boys? You even watched their music videos which blew your mind at each one. You went on your twitter and searched up the name and a bunch of posts about their upcoming comeback and where to buy the albums.

Your eyelids fell heavy and soon darkness enveloped your mind. This time no nightmares occurred, except a certain black haired man with dimples.

------------------------------------------------------------

There had been a rumour going around that for their second comeback for 2023, they were going to be doing a contest for a lucky STAY (while others did fancalls). The only requirements was how many albums or merch you had of Stray Kids. But you had done neither which put you in a tough spot.

You had very badly wanted to participate but you were a 23 yr old trying to save up for a solo trip to South Korea. Maybe even scout areas for a permanent move. So far you had saved up about $2500 and planning to save up more. As for the contest, you had put your phone number down in the category of being picked randomly in case you got a call.

You were on your lunch break at work when your phone rang. Putting your sandwich down, you glance at the screen as it showed up a number you didn't recognize. "Hello?"

"Hello, is this Y/N?" A female voice asked.

"Yes, who's this?"

"This is Yu Won from JYPE."

You blinked. "Sorry?"

"You put your phone number to get licked randomly for a fancall and for the contest?"

"Oh my g...yeah, did I get picked?!" Excitement filled your veins.

"Yes. We would like to invite you for a fancall with one of the Stray Kids members and at the end of the call, you will be asked which option you prefer to do."

"Okay! Thank you!" You smile.

She gave you instructions over the phone plus sent you an email too. The fancall would happen after the comeback in November. It was end of October so maybe you didn't have to wait long.

------------------------------------------------------------

You sat waiting patiently in front of your phone, hair in loose waves and light makeup. Your dog whined at your feet. "Nora, not right now, okay? I'll take you out later." Your dog, a golden retriever, laid down beside your feet. You rolled your eyes. "Okay, drama queen. Come on," you tapped your lap and she excitedly jumped in lap.

You look up and see Chan beaming, a smile on his lips. Your eye widen. "Oh! I'm sorry! I didn't realize-"

"It's quite alright. I just came on and you were talking to your dog, I didn't want to disturb."

"Sorry, she gets anxious if I'm doing something that doesn't involve her," you nervously explain. You notice his hair was turning into a copper color.

He laughs. "It's quite alright. My dog is the same."

"I've seen Berry from your vlogs and she seems such a nice and obedient dog. Very cute."

"That she is."

"Just like her dad," you giggle.

He covers his mouth, giggling also. "Thank you for the compliment."

"Congrats on the comeback! I love all of your songs!"

"Thanks! Which was your favorite?" He asked, genuinely curious to know.

"Hmmm, if I had to pick, I nwould say all of them but if I had to choose, it would have to be Cover Me."

"Why that song?"

"The melody is quite soothing. Plus the vocals are top tier," you replied.

"Yeah? I think my vocals could use more work."

You gape at him. "Are you kidding? Your vocals are very exciting to hear! Those high notes aren't easy to do."

He chuckles. "Alright. I'll take your word for it, Y/N.'

Y/N. He said your name. It was like hearing it for the first time. Your heart tugged again and you mentally scolded your brain to shut up. "Ever been to Korea?"

"No. But I'm planning to save up for a solo trip!"

"Solo? Oof. That's going to be difficult especially if you don't know the language."

You smirk. "Dangsin-eun naega ihaehaji moshandago saeng-gaghanayo? (You thibk I don't understand?)."

"Oh, wow. Neohante yeogijeogi boyeojugo sip-eoseoyo (I would love to show you around)."

"That would be lovely but it's not happening anytime soon."

He nods and you suddenly feel bad. "Maybe next year I'll see."

You say your goodbyes and end the call and go into your email. You pick the "buy a plushie" option and choose wolf-chan. Smiling widely, heart content to the max you finally smile to yourself. Maybe life wasn't bad after all.

Your phone pings and without looking, you unlock it and you scream briefly upon seeing the screen.

XX-XXXX-XXXXXX: hey this is bang chan. I stole your number from my manager.

Y/N: did you just commit a crime?

You save his number as Chris.

C: i would never

Y/N: uh huh...

C: hey give me a break here :(

Y/N: are you....being cute?

C: is it working?

Okay. Who is this guy?

Y/N: .... are you the same bang chan I know from my laptop screen?

C: wait you watch us? 😱

Y/N: yeah, i do. 🤨

C: i meant it you know

Y/N: what

C: showing you around seoul

"Is he being funny or actually asking me out? Is that even allowed for him?" You wonder before typing an answer.

Y/N: right now, i'm saving up for the trip

C: well you have my number so just holla at me when you're here

What the absolute fuck?

A/N: this was sitting in my folders and thought why not? Hehe. Pt 2 may be delayed by whole lot as I'm working of 4-5 stories at a time. But do lemme know how ya'll like this one?

[unwishablestars]

Hi I’m not sure if you take this type of requests and if you don’t you can just ignore it. Could you do Cassidy, Hanzo, Genji, Lifewaever and Mauga (not sure if you writ for him) comforting their s/o after they got rescued from being kidnapped. Can you also add that the s/o was pregnant but had a miscarriage due to the kidnapping? If you don’t want to add the last bit that’s fine.

Thank you. 😊

I failed

Pair(s): Cassidy x Pregnant!Reader | Hanzo x Pregnant!Reader | Genji x Pregnant!Reader | Lifeweaver x Pregnant!Reader

Genre: Angst , Hurt/Comfort (little comfort ngl)

Word Count: 1.3k

Tags: Headcanons, Angst, Miscarriage, Multi-Character, uhhhhhhhhhhhhh

TWs: Miscarriage, Kidnapping, Angst, Mildly-described violence

Summary: Cassidy/Hanzo/Genji/Lifeweaver's partner get kidnapped while pregnant leading to reader's miscarriage.

A/N: HIIIII ANONNNN!!! Thank you so much for your request!<3 I'm really sorry about the delay since life got in the way a bit :( And sorry I don't write for Mauga cuz idk how yet--- fresh hero ykyk</3 I hope you like this though!! Sorry for the delay again :(

Cassidy

Even before joining overwatch Cassidy was already a pretty wanted man due to him being part of the dead lock gang

And it never really changed when he joined overwatch

Though this time he wasn't a criminal but he was still in a dangerous field, but you always loved him because you've seen him in all the ways he loves you.

He was swooned when he met you.

One cheesy love story later, BOOM, you're preggers.

Whether you were a civilian or an agent, Cassidy WILL NOT let you get involved with his work while pregnant.

So he was absolutely distraught when he couldn't find you in you're shared home.

He walks through the door calling out for your name, ready to pamper you for the night, only to get no response.

Suddenly, he sees the signs of struggle. Knocked over furniture, thrown books, and just a general mess of your home

He is frantic.

Starts yelling your name, running around the house trying to look for you. "..Fuck..FuckfuckfuckfuckfuckFUCK"

After a few hours, they eventually locate you. They waste no time at all.

The plan was simple, (maybe even too simple), just get you out of there. Unharmed.

Cole, with worry and adrenaline as strong as ever, finds you tied to a chair. Crying, distraught, and bleeding.

Now you lay on the base's medic bay, face showing numbness as you learned the news of your baby.

Everyone had left after attempting to comfort you. All except for you lover.

He held your hand as he felt a familiar pain of loss, holding back tears, he just wanted to make sure you knew you weren't alone. And that he is so sorry.

"Darlin.. fuck.. I'm so sorry.. I was supposed to protect you. Our child.. it's my-- I'm so fucking sorry, love. Please.. please don't hate me."

Of course you didn't hate him. But too exhausted to speak, you brought his hand up to your cheek and weakly said "Just.. stay.."

"Darlin.. I will never leave your side."

Hanzo

Hanzo has been hiding in the shadows and constantly on the run for years. Alone. Until you, of course.

You offered to give him a place to stay after seeing him about to doze off sitting on a bench in the park

"No, it's fine. I'm just resting." He was literally about to pass out--

He had eventually opened up to you after much persistence and kindness, and grew incredibly fond of you.

To him, you brought him peace.

For a while, he tried to lessen contact with you as to avoid any conflicts with the people searching for him.

But he was conflicted when he found out you were pregnant. He did not want to leave your side but he also did not want to endanger you, especially in this state.

After some reassurance, he agreed to stay and take care of you.

He had hoped he would lay low enough that not only would he have to worry about your safety but also be able to be a present father to his child.

But when he came to your shared home and the door wide open, he fuckin lost it.

Frantically looking for you in your home, swearing all sorts in his home tongue didn't solve the issue.

He couldn't find you but he did find an envelope containing you're whereabouts.

They've been planning this for a while, how long were they watching him? Why did they only strike when you're health was so critical.

Hanzo was livid realizing this.

He headed to your location and found you tied to a chair, sac over your head, in a dimly lit warehouse

He knew it was a trap but ain't no way he would let anyone put a finger on you.

After being roughed up himself, (but ultimately beating the shit put of a of em) he took a look at you and saw the bruises, the scrapes

and the blood down there

he held you close, forever blaming himself for what happened

Genji

Genji and you met during your time in overwatch while they were in their prime

He was emo back then but you liked that,

And when he realized he liked you're unconditional admiration, he liked you too.

He didn't admit it of course, neither to himself nor to you but whatever.

Years later, Winston sends the recall.

And he was pleased to find out you had come back,

With a new mentality, a new acceptance of himself, and a more open acceptance of your love.

This time he made the first move, trying to act smooth like his pre-overwatch days, but his stuttering and nervousness gave it away though.

He was worried you'd remembered him as the angry and vengeful man he once was, but you saw who he was deep down

Which is the exact reason why he fell in love with you.

Eventually, after feeling a bit of morning sickness he urged you to go Mercy or Bap or anyone to help you get better.

Only for you to find out you're pregnant.

You stayed away from missions for a while as Genji requested, at most doing paperwork and helping a bit around the base.

But when the base was suddenly attacked, Genji pinned, yelling at you to stayed back.

You tuned out his pleads and gripped your weapon to help the father of your child.

And you did, but you were knocked out and taken away. He was too weak to reach you.

They immediately set out to rescue you, fully aware of your vulnerable state.

Though they had insisted for Genji to heal up first, through his broken visor, he shot them a glare that wouldn't stop him from saving his love.

After finding you in a cell, bruises all over in a weakened state, unconscious, he carried you back to the ship and held you close, eye getting watery.

You woke up in a hospital bed in the medbay, the first thing you notice being the ache your body feels, and the pain in your stomach.

Then, you notice your lover hold you close and tight.

Followed by the sorrowful looks of the doctors.

They left to give you two some space.

"I'm.. so sorry.. please.. forgive me.."

With tears in your eyes, you held each other close, never wanting to let go again.

Lifeweaver

You had worked alongside Lifeweaver in his development of biolight,

He loved having you at his side.

Soon he took you dates, brought you gifts and food, too show appreciation.

Not realizing he was indulging in his growing love for you.

After giving him some clarity of his feeling with a bold kiss, you two were inseparable, even more than before.

After you had missed you're period, you showed your lover the positive test and he way beyond joyful.

He always urged you to rest and didn't let you lift a finger. He didn't want you to be stressed or worried, he saw such beauty in you.

But those you wanted his biolight saw opportunity.

He was out buying food for you and his future baby but he came home to an open door, silence, thrown trinkets and portraits.

In his panic, he wondered whether or not he would need to contact his family. Or Satya. Or Baptiste. Anyone.

He received a video file on his desktop.

Asking for the acces to his biolight as well as the information to it's creation.

He was shaking, he wasn't strong enough to fight them on his own, he needed help. He needed you. Please come back to me.

He cannot wait any longer. He caved. Only for you. And for them.

He had sent all the information they needed. And as breathed heavily on his knees. He heard a vehicle arrive at his estate.

He hurried out, even almost tripping in the process, he needed to see you were okay, that you were both okay.

He saw you being lead to the front gate, and the abductors lackey walking back to their vehicle.

Giving him a face of no remorse.

As he held you in his arms once again, the look in your eyes had told him everything.

You two stayed there. Just feeling the comfort of what you two still had. Each other.

[ayayiiie]

Make me love you

Song playing: Taeyeon - Make me love you.

Pairing: fuck boy! Heeseung x good girl! Reader. (Feat Enha)

TW: cursing, mentions of sex, drugs, smoking, throwing up. (Y'all is Heeseung very a bad boy in this one? :3)

Genre: hints of angst, fluff

Words: ~ 13k

Trope:

Lee Heeseung wants you real bad. So what? He needs to prove how much he's worthy.

- « Don't you want to claim me as yours baby girl? »

- « You will only bring me problems Lee. »

- « You don't know til you try. Look at me, ready to give my entire self to you. »

« Then.. Take me far away. »

하나.

« Shadows come from the light in the darkness 

In times that are even lonelier »

He was foully beautiful, has a disgustingly pretty smile and a diabolically angel face. He was as hot as Sukuna Ryomen, smart like Chrollo Lucifer, toned like Eren Yeager and flirty (and annoying) as Usui Takumi.

Every one of his steps scream power and dominance, people in town were obliged to recognize his god-like features.

Lee Heeseung was a piece of wonder. He was the personification of the Great Chinese Wall. Well, for others it means he was one of the seven wonders, his friends being the others six. For you he was illigible, like a void devoid of colors, feelings, words. Looking at him was like walking on the Great Chinese Wall. Infinite stairs, a never ending pathway, long exhausting adventure where you can get lost easily.

You never knew how to understand Lee Heeseung.

And people were here, yelling at you for not being liquified by his unbelievable visuals.

You were not attracted to Lee Heeseung.

And people were here once again, crying about you not having a good eyesight because who in the world would tell a big NO NO to THE Lee Heeseung ?

Despite his apparence, one thing you knew for sure was that he was the synonym of troubles. And that compensated his visuals. Lee Heeseung was a big red flag.

Vandalizing walls, driving fast past three in the morning, drinking heavily almost every night, skipping class (even though he always passed his exams with flying colors which confused you), smoking, sniffing drugs you never heard the name before, fucking some random women of every age everywhere.

Yeah, for you he was the worst of the worst, and you sure would not (in this peaceful life of yours) like to have an affair or everything as minuscule as it is with him.

You knew that Lee Heeseung had no interests in you either and it was perfectly perfect for you.

둘.

« The hand that was carefully held out

I couldn’t hold it, I’ve only hesitated but »

« Hey, did you heard that? Lee Heeseung has won the cars’ racing yesterday!

- Listen Young-Hee, you do know I don't give a freak about him right? This man screams problems.

- But don't deny he's attractive! Plus Seo-Hyun had a one night stand with him last week, are you realizing? THE Park Seo-Hyun?

- Please why do you look so interested about that? What is incredible about this?

- Oh please Y/N, we ALL know that Seo-Hyun has a purity ring given by her dad! She promised chastety and here she was, fucking with Lee Heeseung!

- And so? It's something between her, her father and Heeseung, what do I have to do about that?

- YOU COULD BE NEXT IN LINE! »

The strawberry milk you were drinking went out of your mouth to someone's shirt. Eyes widening in both shock and embarrassment, you quickly excuse yourself, not even looking up to cross eyes with them and lend them a tissue while repeatedly apologizing.

« I'm sorry I'm sorry, I didn't attend to do that! »

The bell ringing was a lucky sign for you to sprint directly to your class. As you both pant from the little course, you suddenly hear a loud chuckle from Young-Hee.

« Girl that's what I call being "purged"! she said in between laughs.

- Shut up that was embarassing! And it's your fault! You did it on purpose right?!

- I will keep doing it to see those faces you make! She laughs loudly, people staring.

- Hee! » you yell, trying to grab her arm. But she was faster and quickly went to her seat.

Let's say you couldn't focus on the entire class. Your mind was busy spacing out and thinking about the conversation earlier. Of course you knew that Park Seo-Hyun was the famous virgin of the campus, because everyone knew that. And the fact she wore proudly her ring was her way of showing her engagement !

« You could be next in line! »

This sentence keeps repeating in your head like a malicious mentra and you can't help but to imagine Lee Heeseung devouring you with his eyes. As much as you hated to admit it, he was indeed handsome. But that was a facade to you. Because deep inside, you kept telling yourself that he was someone bad, manipulative and who had no interest in women's feelings. That's what you hate the most. Your dad always made sure to show his love to your mom, so it sure was a big shock when you learn that some men were beating and mistreating their girlfriends or wives. The perfect image of love just crumbled down and you couldn't help but to be on your guard ever since. Especially with people like Lee Heeseung. People categorized you as the « girl talking to only girls » because you always talk with girls only. Not that you despise men, you just don't feel like talking to them and you were perfectly fine with it. Even if some dare to approach you, you woulk kindly answer them and then dash as fast as possible, avoiding the interaction like plague.

Indeed, you did not hate men, you just never knew how to talk to them.

Beside your big brother of two years older your dad and to any men in your small family, talking to the opposite genre was a real challenge for you. Sweaty hands, swifty gazes, mumbling and rosy cheeks. You hated making a fool of yourself and indirectly, men were making you this way. You discovered later that you had heterosocial anxiety. « Good » you told yourself ironically while rolling your eyes, this means talking to men was making you nervous.

But like all stories, there was an exception, a boy in who you could talk to without stuttering and being insecure about your side profile, about the way you would smile, all the mimicks you had. He was your childhood neighbour, Kim Sunoo.

Maybe because he looked less scary and more welcoming, or the way he would smile and his eyes would form two little crescents. Maybe because he seemed more boyish ? Kim Sunoo was the only boy you could talk without being feared of being judged. For you, he will always be the little boy who shared strawberries his grandma prepared for after-school snack. He will always be your super adventures’ companion in your garden.

So it sure was painful when Kim Sunoo transferred from public school to private. Being children, you did not keep in touch and never saw each other ever since. But Sunoo gifted you with a braided bracelet. It was synonym of you guys’ friendship as he too, had one. His mother would show you pics of him, he would send her some after he finished his class, in secondary school. His peace sign beside his wink and little smile would bring a grin to your face too, somewhat relieved he was doing so well.

As you were thinking deeply of your childhood friend, a hand came crashing on your face.

« Young-Hee! I swear you're a dead woman!

- Listen, it's lunch and I'm hungry, stop thinking about Lee Heeseung and let's go to the cafet! she crosses her arms with a devilish smirk plastered on her face.

- I wasn't even thinking about him, cut the drama. »

The walk to the cafeteria was filled with laughters and a warm mood. Tray in hands, you were searching for a place to sit. It seems like today was filled with students as the only places you found were in the middle of two groups, hastily chatting. Not even two minutes after Young-Hee and you started eating, a breaking sound was heard on the other side of the cafet.

« LEE HEESEUNG YOU FUCKING SON OF A BITCH ! » was heard by a female voice.

There, was standing Park Seo-Hyun, infront of a sitting Lee Heeseung. It looked like she threw her glass at him within her tray of food. You see how unbothered he looked, even with food and water all over his clothes. Seo-Hyun scoffed at his lack of reaction and quickly walk out of the cafet, her two best friends following her. Shrugging, you turn back and start eating like nothing happened.

« Oh my god, what do you think did just happen?

- Well, this is what happens when you go inside Lee Heeseung’s circle. That’s why I don’t want anything with him, you said, unimpressed while digging in your tomatoes (I’m sorry for those who don’t like them 😭)

- But don’t you want to know? I loooove gossips hehe…

- If you want to investigate it’s without me you already know that, you say, unbothered.

- But please, she said, a tiny pout on her lips and giving her best doe eyes.

- I really hate you, you know? You sighed while shaking your head.

- Yey! I love you bestie! » She smiles happily then proceeds to swallow everything she had in her mouth.

For you, it was none other than some childish things, without harm. At least, that’s what you expected.

셋.

« My heart already trembles, I keep

getting scared

On this night when you secretly held out

your hand »

After disposing your tray in the conveyor belt, Young-Hee excitedly locked your cubital fossa together and has speed towards the almost empty hallways.

« Where are we going? You tell just loud enough for her to listen.

- In front of their class, Heeseung and Seo-Hyun are classmates, didn’t you know? She said making sure to be discreet and to look everywhere.

- I’m not such a big gossip girl like you Hee, you know that, you watched her getting agitated.

- It’s not some gossip, it’s general knowledge Y/N!

- As if, you couldn’t help but to roll your eyes.

- Let’s hide here! » Young-Hee said as she sweeps you both behind a big pillar glued to the classroom’s wall.

Peeking through the marble, you quietly observe your surroundings. Seo-Hyun was in the classroom with her friends, talking angrily about something you couldn’t hear.

« This situation kinda stress me Hee, you said playing with your bracelet. The tropes were so lose they could ripped anytime. It was a habit of you to fidget with it when you were nervous.

- Shh, I’m trying to decipher what they’re saying », she shushed you, looking attentively at the girls.

You couldn’t help but to roll your eyes a second time. Young-Hee was really persistent when she wanted to be but you couldn’t blame her, she lifted up your moral numerous times with this personality of hers.

« I fucking hate his guts! He promised me so many things but at the end what?! I gave my fucking virginity to an asshole like him?! Screams Seo-Hyun.

- He doesn’t deserve you Seo, trust us, said one of her friends.

- But Chae I gave him my v card, my dad’s gonna kill me if he learn that.

- You can just wear the ring again, he wouldn’t know.

- The whole school knows it! No way he will not be aware!

- Seo, calm down first. Instructed Chae-Won.

- I can’t-

- Y/N! Hide quick! » whispered-yelled Young-Hee.

Panicked, you rapidly hide behind the pillar, pressing your body as far as you could.

« What’s happening? » You whisper to your friend, completely lost.

Hee only gave you her big eyes as a response and gestured you that someone was coming. You didn’t think two times about it and just nodded.

« What are you gonna do Hee? She’s super mad at you and look at you, you’re covered in tomatoes’ sauce. You both hear a man voice talking.

- Huh? She took my hoodie when we did it last week, I just want to take it back, and I need to change clothes too. You could recognize Heeseung’s voice at the same time steps were coming your way.

- You’re unbelievable man! Exclaimed the other guy with him, chuckling in disbelief.

- I know, Heeseung only replied. You could practically hear and imagine his smirk as they open the door.

- What do you want bastard?! Screams Seo-Hyun.

- Wow, I didn’t came to be assaulted. I just want to take my hoodie back, I left it at yours last week.

- Already threw it in the trash can. She spat bitterly.

- Ouch, » murmured Young-Hee.

You looked at Young-Hee but didn’t expect her to make a silly face so you accidentally snort without realizing you both could be in big troubles if they happen to know you were here.

« Hey, did you heard that? Said the friend accompanying Heeseung.

- Hear what Jake? Questioned Heeseung.

- I heard some muffles over there, let me check. »

Panic immediately took possession of your body as you hurriedly run and turn in the near corridor.

« Hey! Wait! » You hear from the other side as you run endlessly trying to turn in the maximum corridors possible to left him.

Finally arriving at the back of your school, you both pant loudly, trying to catch your breath.

« That was freaking close! For once Mr Hwang’s running class weren’t useless! Pant Young-Hee between each inspirations taking.

- Listen carefully Hee, you stand fully up as your hands were resting on your knees to catch your breath, last time. I swear, last time forever.

- But they didn’t catch us, I’m sure he didn’t even see our faces! » She exclaimed feigning innocence.

You frown. If Jake was running behind you, he must have seen two figures at least. Plus, girls. You subconsciously touch your wrist to feel your bracelet when nothing brush your fingertips. Imagining the worst, you look down only to see it gone.

« Shit shit shit, don't tell me it fell off while we were running? You mumbled.

- What happened? asks Young-Hee, concerned.

- My bracelet fell off when we ran Hee, I need to search for it, it's a gift!

- Wow, it's okay, let's go back and see if it's there. »

You then walk the opposite way, following exactly each corridor you took. You were stressing, losing the only memory of your friend was the last thing you wanted to face right now. And as you kept approaching the classroom, your fear only increased.

« It's nowhere to be found Y/N... said your companion, empathic.

- Maybe it just fell right next to the pillar? I will take a look, you finally sighed, feeling hopeless.

- Okay, I'll search in this area over there, » she pointed the opposite direction with her finger.

As you were searching, you failed to notice a stare on you, silently watching every move you made.

You finally concluded after fifteen minutes that it was lost and you couldn't do anything about it. To feel guilty and sad were an understatement to what you were feeling right now. This bracelet was your anti-stress and now it was gone.

넷.

« Make me kiss you

 Ma-make me kiss you »

The end of the day came up rather quickly and you were now packing your things in your backpack. Young-Hee bided you goodbye earlier because she has tennis sessions so today you had to walk back home alone. It was actually great for you as you long for loneliness and peace sometimes. It eases your mind, not that being with Young-Hee create headaches but she was a little bit too loud sometimes.

As you exit the hallway of your university, someone secretly hold their phone up and snap a picture of you walking away. Shuffling it back in their pocket, they act like nothing happened and watch your back disappears.

« So you’re like that huh?! Taking pic of someone without their consent?! » Screams a girl.

You abruptly turn around to see the scrap. There you see again Seo-Hyun and Heeseung. Looks like she was yelling at him for something he did.

« Does it concern you? Just because we fucked doesn’t mean we’re dating idiot, » he spoke calmly, his chin lightly raised alongside a brow.

Reminding you of your « mission » with Young-Hee, you can’t help but to approach the scene quietly, making sure you’re discreet. As you hide behind a spot you continue to listen.

« Then you shouldn’t have promised me so many things that night! Was it nothing to you?! She angrily tells.

- And what are these things? Because I don’t remember any actually, he answers casually. He was used to it.

- You told me you will make me feel special, that I’m not like the others and that I’ll be the only one! At this point she was just stomping her foot on the ground brutally.

- Oh. Yeah it was in the heat of the moment. Never actually think this way. Plus I was drunk so I didn’t really paid attention to what I was saying, » he said once again as if it really didn’t bother him to see her on the verge of beating him up.

*clap*

Your eyes widened at the loud clap your heard and you were sure it came from her hand entering in collision with his cheek. « Must have hurt » you told yourself in your head.

« Fucking asshole, I’m gonna denounce you for what you’ve done and also for taking a pic of Y/N in secret! » she lastly said before storming away.

You slowly realized what she said and confusion took all over your mind.

« Wait, what? He took a secret pic of me? » You wondered in your mind.

- Stop hiding. I know you’re here, you hear a masculine voice calling, broking your self-thought bubble.

- Oh shit, you mumbled, it was over now, you were discovered, umh, hi haha, I was just about to go haha, you said, the uneasy feeling slowly climbing in your whole body as you step out of your hiding spot, walking awkwardly like a robot with a grimace.

- Really? You do know it’s not really polite to listen to others in secret yeah? »

Lee Heeseung grabs onto your shoulder, the scene particularly comic as he turns your around.

As you face him, your eyes immediately locked together and you can’t help but to feel intimidated by his gaze. It was teasing, almost mocking and shockingly traversing your entire core. You feel naked under him and once again you remind yourself why you hated talking to men this much. Instead of his uniform’s shirt he was wearing a plain oversized t-shirt of color white, he probably changed clothes after receiving the food on himself at the cafet. His black hair were swaying by the wind, softly falling on his mischievous eyes. God he was perfect.

« So? Kitten got your tongue angel? He tilted his head, waiting for an answer.

- Don’t… call me that, it sounds naughty coming from your mouth, you said looking finally down, not supporting his gaze.

- Oh really? That’s what y’all say, he chuckled slowly moving forward, but y’all love it in bed.

- And you talk about me listening to conversations in secret but you are not so good yourself, taking pic like a creep of someone without their consent, » you spat, your tone harsher than you intended too and your eyes piercing his when you lift your head. As much as you wanted to deny it, your cheeks were already red and your heartbeat as quick as the speed of light.

In response, he smirks, clearly pleased by what he’s seeing and hearing in front of him. You tried not to take in details his black hair perfectly styled as well as his perfect face and soft creamy skin. You then notice how bad Seo-Hyun had slapped him as a red mark was clearly visible on his left cheek.

« I don’t really like brats but with you I think I can make some efforts, he shrugged and came even more close, I don’t want to be harsh with you baby it would break my heart, he whispered, his hand coming up to brush against your chin.

- Who said you could touch me? Delete this pic as soon as possible and leave me alone, you’re carrying troubles, you sweep his hand away and step back.

- And what if I don’t? What are you gonna do? His cocky grin never leaving his face.

- I… I will report it to the police! You stumble over your words, quickly regretting the way you look so weak in front of him.

- Will you? When you know that my dad is a powerful CEO? In fact, the most powerful of the country? » He retorts, a feeling of satisfaction filling him up when your eyes widen up.

You sigh then frown at him and quickly dash away, not wanting to talk further. It was infuriating you that he was always winning. You hated him so much.

« We can find a way if you’re willing to be mine! 

- Never!! » you shout loud enough for him to hear you, only to hear a laugh as a response.

- How would you react if I tell you that you’re the reason I bring troubles Y/N? » Heeseung finally sighed watching your silhouette ventures between the buildings.

You let out a scream after making sure nobody was around you.

« This freaking Lee Heeseung!! You and your bad mouth will go down in hell I swear! You angrily said as you stomp your feet.

- Pff. »

You turn around as soon as you heard something. Scanning your surroundings you search the source of the noise.

« Is someone there? You ask, unsure and on your defensive.

- Not at all, act like I’m not here, answered a voice.

- Are they dumb or dumb? I just yelled my frustration and you’re telling me to continue embarrassing myself? You thought, low key judging them. Where are you? Show yourself. » (Frozen enwnkzjwnz)

After a few minutes, a boy finally step out and came infront of you. He was wearing a white t-shirt and by the look of the small pink stain on it you immediately remembered what happened this morning.

« Oh, you said taken aback.

- Like you said « Oh », he laughed, thank you for customizing my t-shirt, I didn’t know it was a tradition in your uni, he looked down at it, a small smile on his face.

- Huh… sorry… you didn’t had any clothes to change? You nervously ask.

- Oh no, I’m new here and I needed to get my dorm’s keys after school so nope.

- I’m sorry you had to walk like this the entire day. Uhm… » you said, hesitant.

In fact you were hesitating, one part of you wanted to go home, feeling the urge to burry yourself alive because a male was talking to you but yet another part was feeling too guilty to just go and you feel like you had to forgive for what you’ve done.

« Yes? He looked at you, a soft smile appearing on his face.

- Do you want to go to the cafe shop with me? We can go and drink some chocolate milk? I want to apologize properly.

- Uh, it will be coffee milk for me, he laughed, but yeah sure, » he smiles.

You couldn’t help the dumbfounded expression on your face as you heard his answer. « Mr is picky I see. » you thought to yourself. Well, you thought you said it in your head but his laugh caught you off guard, WAIT DID YOU JUST ASKED A BOY OUT ?

« I heard you, and I personally do not think that I’m picky, I just have my preferences, » he says proudly, mischievous eyes looking straight right through yours.

You just shake your head, already embarrassed about the fact he heard your thoughts.

As you both make your way to the cafe shop, you learn that his name is Sunghoon Park. He was currently an ice skater and was preparing for his national competition. As a big fan of Yuzuru Hanyu, you couldn’t help but to feel interested in his career’s story.

« So you learned ice skating when you were 10? That’s quite amazing. Do you have any friends? You ask without really knowing how you could talk to him this easily.

- Mh.. only one, her name is Eunseo, she is the only girl who dared to come to me when we were young, he shrugged looking unbothered.

- Oh, were you the only boy? You keep asking, trying to match his walking pace, your voice weakening as you saw the unbothered look on his face, were you boring? Did you forced him to go with you? And what if he didn’t wanted to?

- In my club yes, it was kinda lonely back then before I met Junhwan, he notices that you were having a hard time keeping up with him so he slowed down, quickly scanning your smaller figure with a glance.

- I see I see, you nod rapidly, your eyes that were on him now looking in front of you, throat suddenly dry as the conversation touched its end.

- And you? What’re you doing on a daily basis? He raised an eyebrow towards you.

- Me? Haha nothing as interesting as you, I’m a simple girl, you try to brush the subject away, surprised that he kept the conversation on going.

- Really? Aren’t you working at an animals center? He opens the door for you as you were now arrived.

- How… how do you know that? You enter, waving a hand to thank him.

- A friend of a friend, » he grins once more, passing before you towards the counter.

« What in the world..? » you thought again, gradually joining him as your mind overflowed with thoughts, finding him kinda creepy.

While you guys took commands, you quickly paid for both drinks before he could do anything, muttering a shy « it’s on me ». Unfortunately for you, you missed the way his eyes shone as his heart skipped a beat. You then found a table in a corner, near a window offering you the view of a busy crowd. The more you were thinking of the situation you were right now, the more you’re nervous. Endless fears and thoughts invading your head as you look around in an alarmed state, your knees automatically shaking under the table.

« You seem to have a lot of thoughts in your head. Every time you’re quiet, I’m quite sure you’re thinking of something, he softly puts his chin on his palm as his elbow is resting on the table, his attention entirely on you, making things even harder for you to support the awkward atmosphere you were feeling alone.

- Yes, I actually think a lot haha, not you? Your gaze darting away from his stare.

- Depends, he responds, eyes not blinking and continuing to stare right into your orbits.

- Number 38! You perked, reacting to your command’s number.

- Will be right back, » you stand up and walk rather awkwardly feeling his intense gaze on your back.

You went to grab your drink and thanked the woman. On your way back, you notice a frown adorning Sunghoon's soft features as he was staring at his phone. Not wanting to bother him, you sat down quietly, sipping on the sweetness awaited, immediately calming your stress. He quickly put his phone back into his pocket before looking at you, eyes softening upon seeing your content eyes. You were zoning out, so did not notice his eyes staring at you.

« It's unfair really, he managed to mumbled, a grin evident on his face as he finally looks away.

- What is unfair? You barely heard what he said but did anyways.

- It's unfair to look this cute actually, he whispers, still looking around the cafe shop.

- W-what did you say? I didn’t hear you, you purse your lips, blinking in confusion. To be honest you did heard him, you just wanted to be sure and not be delusional.

- Nothing, a simple note to myself, » he shrugs and then stand up when his order is being called.

You couldn't help but wonder to what he said earlier, what does he mean by "unfair"? Anyways, you checked the time on your phone to see that it was late (or that you wanted to escape from this situation?), and that you needed to revise for a test coming soon. Sunghoon was just arriving when you stand up. He gave you a confused look and you quickly told him the reason of your departure.

« Already leaving? We have just arrived? He asks, incredulous, standing still with his drink in hand. (Sunghoon be like : 🧍‍♂️)

- I know and I'm sorry for that! I'll see you around! You say, in a sort of a rush.

- Wait lemme at least walk you, he tries to slow you down, but you were faster and have already left the cafe shop. Aish... This girl... » he tilted his head, disappointed in himself or in you he didn't know, but he for sure wanted to spend a little bit more time with you.

After all, you caught his eyes and with it, his cold heart.

다섯.

« Make me touch you 

Ma-make me touch you »

The following week was packed.

You finally let out a sigh of relief, it was now the week-end, you will have the deserved time to breathe. You were now in your room, on your bed, laying on your chest. You had just finished your night routine and was on the verge of sleeping when you heard something hitting your window. Panicked, you quickly turn off your bedside lamp, telling who-the-hell they're that you're sleeping and above all, that you want to be alone. In fact, you were scared it was a stealer or a serial killer and hurriedly hide yourself under your blanket as if it will protect you from them. Even though you tried to sleep, your eyes tightly shut, the noise wouldn’t stop, it was quite the contrary. Taking your courage in both hands, you quietly stand up and gently push aside your curtains before looking for the culprit of your peacefulness. Being shocked was an understatement as you saw none other than Lee Heeseung standing behind your gates, getting ready to throw yet another rock on your window before you furiously open the latter.

« Lee Heeseung! What are you doing at this hour? I'm trying to sleep! You whisper-yelled, not wanting to wake up your parents.

- Come with me! He offers you a big smile, waving at you.

- Is he crazy or what? You murmured to yourself, not believing his words. What? Why? Are you going to give me some candies and then kidnap me? You say ironically, I don't know you! Go to your home! » You finally pronounce your last words before closing your window.

« I wouldn’t mind kidnapping you though, » he mumbles under his breath as he smiles, heart racing.

Not even two seconds after it was closed, you hear knocking sounds again. Taking a deep breath, you tried to calm yourself, you were not one to be very patient, plus the lack of sleep these days were really working you up. Lee Heeseung or not, you were strangers and he was invading your privacy at this point ! It has to cease before your parents found him out and call the police. As much as you didn’t liked him, it's not like you hated him too and you just wanted to avoid problems. God knows what could happen to you if this story disclose around, his fangirls would grab your hair, make a pretty haircut (note the sarcasm) and throw you in the nearest dump while his father would probably kick you out of the country with your parents. So you decided to slip on an oversized hoodie, stolen from your brother (working overseas), and to step down your stairs in the quietest way possible. You needed to be extra careful because your mother was a light sleeper so even the weenie mistake would wake her up and you would then be in big problems. Reaching the entrance, you open the door without a care about your looks, after all, it completely went out of your head.

« What's your problem? Why are you here? You hiss, now infront of the fuckboy of the campus.

- Woah ~ so sexy, he whistles at the sight of your disheveled hair, oversized hoodie, slippers and your annoying face.

- Just answer the damn question Lee, you switch your weight on one of your leg, the foot opposed stomping against the fresh grass of your garden. Your hands were on your hips as you were glaring at him.

- Just wanted to see you, that's all, he lifted his hands above his shoulders, acting as if he was surrending himself.

- And why so? I don't understand, we are not friends, not even acquaintances even more, we don't speak to each other at all. How did you even got my address?! And most importantly : What do you want from me? Your frown deepening, your arms cross on your chest.

- I'm racing tonight, I need to bring someone with me. I thought of-, he began but you quickly dismiss him.

- Rejected. Did you really think I was going to accept? In your dreams, you scoff, not believing him.

- Come on, it will be fun I promise you, » he extends his hand, as if waiting for you to grab it.

The truth is, you heard from some classmates that racing with Heeseung was amazing. He would have excellent driving skills and it would have been a shame to miss it. Closing the distance between you and him, you raise your hand, almost as if you were going to accept his proposition, only to clap his hand down. His eyes, that were hopeful of you possibly agreeing, lose their light, like a sad puppy not getting his treat.

« I will say it one last time Heeseung, you look straight into his eyes, rejected. » You gritted, emphasizing on your last word.

You then turn around, not letting him the time to reply back, and enter your home. Not even two minutes inside and you're glidding down the door, your hands pressed against your chest, a futile attempt to calm your messy heartbeat. This interaction with this man was in no point good for you and put you in one hell of a state you couldn't even imagine.

Why everything was suddenly happening to you? And most of all, why did it has to be LEE FREAKING HEESEUNG?

That night, you couldn't sleep.

여섯.

« Make me want you 

Ma-make me want you »

The next morning you felt especially groggy. You didn't had much sleep and it was also the first day of your period. « I hate this world » you mumbled to yourself, already feeling the cramps coming. As you peacefully went out of bed to ready yourself, a notification caught your attention.

« #Lee_Heeseungs_new_chick »

Seriously? Was he going to follow you everywhere you were going? Would you believe! Now he’s even invading your notifications… You feel like Lee Heeseung was stuck with you for whatever reason and it pissed you off. For wanting him away it looks like the opposite.

« Are you ready Y/N? Hurry or you will be late, informs your father, peeking through your door, ajar.

- Yes I'm coming right now, is mom already gone? You ask, standing up and taking your uniform hanging on your wardrobe.

- Yup, said she has to go early today, » you hear his faint voice as he was walking down the stairs, his voice resonating in the corridor.

It was unusual for you, your mom never had to go early to work. But you shrugged it off, everything happens for a reason. You quickly do your morning routine then finally went out of your house.

As you arrived at the university, you couldn't help but notice how stares were directed at you for a reason you ignore. Being self-counscious, you found a restroom and checked if you had anything on your face or your clothes, only to notice that everything was perfectly fine. What the hell was happening?

The only way to know was to ask Young-Hee as she always keep herself updated. And you didn't had to search for her for too long as you could pratically hear her yells from the other side of the hallway.

« Y/NNN! Oh my god why didn't you tell me? She grabs your hand and pulls you towards a quieter side of the hallway, where nobody could hear you both.

- About what? You ask, like a lost puppy.

- You and Lee Heeseung are dating !Congrats! She cheerfully says.

- Wait- what?! No way in this freaking world! I do not like him and you know it! You offer her your most disgusted-shocked face, making her laugh.

- But the whole campus is aware! She then take out her phone from her bag's pocket.

- And why am I not aware then? What's happening?

You noticed that everyone were looking at you with weird eyes, you panicked a little, looking repeatedly on both side of you.

- Look! » She shows you her screen.

You couldn't believe what you were seeing right now.

It was a picture of you and Heeseung last night. The picture showed the moment you just taped his hand down to refuse his proposition, but it gives the impression of you two holding hands. Who would take a picture of you and him this late at night? One of his fans? Or maybe he planned this all along? You were confused and soon a striking pain started to pounced in your head. Good, you were having a headache because of all the ruckus. Not to mention the pain of your cramps too, you knew how bad they were particularly during the first few days.

« Are you okay? Worriedly ask Young-Hee, seeing you squinting your eyes in pain.

- Having a headache and period cramps are the worst I swear, you mutter under your breath, taking a big inspiration only to wince when you feel the contractions.

- Today's really not your day ma girl, she shakes her head, going through her bag to find a potential pill that could helps you.

- Let's go in class, it's about to start, » you take her extended hand that was giving you the med and walk to class, steps galloping in fear of being late.

Mrs So was already in the classroom, spreading her books and belongings and not even after being seated, she began her lesson. You quickly ate the med while rummaging through your bag to pull out your belongings.

« Pssst Y/N, »

It was one of your classmate, in whom you never really spoke. The way her eyes glinted in curiosity was slowly freaking you out. You knew what she wanted to know.

« No, we aren't dating, don't misunderstand the pic, you respond drier than attended and not even sparring her a glance making it look even more rude.

- Okay okay sorry for wasting your time, you could hear the sarcastic tone with an eye roll, not that you really care. What a boring girl you are, why would he choose you instead of me? »

You silently sighed, it's not your fault if his flirty ass was in front of your house at 1 A.M. But maybe you shouldn't have approached him and just should've shut him down and go to sleep like nothing happened.

« Ladies at the right, stop talking, warns Mrs So.

- It's Y/N, she can't keep her mouth shut, she said, voice filled with sarcasm.

- Huh? Are you talking about you?

- Tch, what are you five?

- Yup five times smarter than you, you proudly smile, the whole class hyping you.

- YOU-

- Mrs Park, this is your last warning, stares Mrs So.

- I'll kill you Marilyn Monhoe, she lastly whisper.

- At least I'm hot, » you quietly say, hearing the snickers of some of your classmates.

Internally, you were screaming because how in hell someone spotted you with THE Lee Heeseung? This just made you exasperated and more determined to have less contact with him...

Days had passed and you were avoiding Lee Heeseung like plague. The latter did not understand your behavior as he was secretly longing for you.

Following you with his eyes each time you happened to walk by him. His friends, except one were looking at him with a grin, they knew oh how much Heeseung wanted to own you, well the reason was unknown to them, but the way he was devouring you with his eyes spoke enough for them to know you were his prey.

In fact, Lee Heeseung has been infatuated by you the day he saw you rejecting one guy. The latter was known for being a real playboy in disguise, playing the Prince Charming to get girls. We could say he and Heeseung were sworn enemies, competing over who could catch more girls. So when you turned the guy down, it only created a spark in Heeseung, the desire to win you invading his brain. If he could have you, he could brag about it to the loser who failed, gaining yet a tingle of pride. At first, winning you and throwing you like an old rag was all he could think of, yet what he didn't expected, was the fact you were *actually* attractive and interesting. He felt like you were an unpolished gem, a precious diamond that didn't showcase its spark yet. In his head he was the miner, you were the diamond, he had to polish you, to make you shine.

일곱.

« K-kiss you, t-touch you, w-want you »

« Make me love you »

Soon enough, seeing and thinking that Lee Heeseung's attention on you was finally finished, you lowered your guards and peacefully lived your life, knowing the only person you needed in your social circle was Young-Hee.

*Ding*

The sound of your phone makes you freak out as you take it out of your bag. Speaking of the devil, Hee has just send you a message, claiming she was feeling sick and won't be able to come in class.

« Is this for real? The exact moment I think about her, she's sick, this girl I swear, » you sigh.

Young-Hee was the type of girl who got rarely sick, so it feels empty to eat alone in a classroom. You thought that it could bring you peace and to be honest, you didn't want to be looked at for eating alone. So here you were, eating alone in a classroom, just minding your business.

« Oh, did I just caught a fish eating alone? » a voice resonated in your ears, breaking the pleasant silence you were in.

Immediately perking your head, your gaze falls upon the ice skater. His tall frame was leaning against the door, his arms crossed with one hand holding a drink.

His eyes had looked you from toes to head, analyzing every details and to be fair, made you slightly uncomfortable. His grin and teasing eyes just made you feel self conscious and you looked away, a slight blush creepig up your face.

« I didn't expect you to be here... What brings you here? you ask softly, resuming on eating your lunch.

- I saw you eating alone, so I thought I could keep you compagny, are you okay with this? » he says, already making his way to take the chair in front of you, pulling it so the back could rest against your desk. He finally plopped down on the chair, facing you directly, propping his forearm on the top of his chair.

- Well... looks like you already eased yourself here, beside, who am I to tell you no? You suck in a sigh, his intense gaze was just urging you to hide in a hole and to never get out of it.

- We didn't get to finish our conversation last time, so why not catching it up now? he asks, looking at the window, the sun rays shining on his handsome face, did he thought he was in a drama? Even the breeze was a paid actor as it made your hair and his leisurely dancing.

- Hum... I'm kinda an awkward girl, you may go on your way...you mutter, dumbfounded as to why someone like him would want to have a conversation with a girl like you, trying to escape guys like death.

- It's okay l'm awkward too, » he chuckles to himself, his head lowering slightly as he does.

Gosh he was beautiful, what did he ate to be this handsome?

« Sung- », a voice called but immediately stopped.

Lee Heeseung was there, and the scene before his eyes was like a bad dream. His close friend, Park Sunghoon is having a face to face conversation with the girl he's trying so hard to catch the attention. Heeseung wondered why it looks easy for his friend to talk to you, he did not understand at the moment why you weren't hostile towards him. If one day Heeseung was being told he got jealous over one of his friend, he would have just laughed it off, shaking his head while mumbling some incoherent things on how it is impossible for him to feel that way.

« What is it hyung? » asks Sunghoon, clearly aware of his senior's intentions with you.

« Well... I didn't expect you two to be together, his eyes were locked on your figure, long time no see Y/ N, » he smiles at you, closing the distance between you three. You couldn't be in a more embarassing situation. Firstly, the tension could be felt from miles, secondly, you never asked to be talked to, and finally, how can it be so hard to be alone these days?

Feeling uneasy, both by their intimidating gazes and their presence, you shakily release a sigh.

« I don't know what I did to you guys... what do you want from me? » you ask, on one hand, not wanting to know their answer, and on the other one, craving to know what their full intentions were.

« Didn't I told ya already? I want you to race with me, » he says nonchalently, shrugging his shoulders.

« And I was clear about it, I don't wanna do it, » you sigh, not really knowing how to formulate your words so he could give it up.

« Racing with Heeseung could be dangerous, that's why I'm never riding with him, » says softly Sunghoon, his expression betraying his voice. But it ceased when his attention finally focused itself on you, the older man glaring at him.

« Don't act like you are not riding like him, » your brows creased, not impressed.

« I don't do cars races, I swear on my lovely dog, » he lifted his hands up, claiming his innocence.

« I don't wanna drive with either of you two, you sigh, closing your eyes, what did I do for you two to want me to ride with you? There's plently of girls in the campus! »

At this point they didn't know if you were really clueless or if you were doing this on purpose. It was as clear as water that Lee Heeseung and Park Sunghoon were hitting on you. We couldn't really blame you: never got confessed, never got a boyfriend, never had male friends after Sunoo so yes, what is love anyways?

Heeseung thought for a while, trying to find a way to make you agree. When the idea comes to him, he smiles brightly and stand in front of you, looking down at you with a smirk.

« How about I buy you those pretty pencils from this one shop near the campus? I noticed that you have a lot of them, » he smiles, proud.

Touché, you felt blocked, because as much as you want to deny it, you always had a things for books and stationery stores. You took care of the esthetic of your belongings and it didn't go unoticed by Lee. Gritting your teeth, your head became fuzzy as well as your thoughts, the tentation was high but a side of you keep reminding you that he was Lee Heeseung, the campus' playboy. You failed to catch the smile of Sunghoon sightly faltering. Freak, Heeseung got a step ahead, and you, who were usually direct to reject him, was now hesitating.

The first time Park Sunghoon came visiting the new city he was gonna moved in, he didn't thought much of it. His introvert character made it hard for him to open up to people. Only on his friends he could lean on and they were everything he needed. Sunghoon didn't planned on falling in love. Indeed he was known for being quite the heartless and cold guy, ignoring confessions and not showing a bit of interest in the opposite gender. His sister and mom were enough for him, he didn't need other women in his life than his family. But fate worked against him when he saw a young girl from his age, crouching near a dog while patting it. His eyes traveled up to see the longstanding crusty letters that formed the two words « Animal center » written on an old building, dilapidated enough to imagine it was there for many years. The girl was standing just behind the opened gate, talking sweetly with the dog in front of her. She looked like she was the happiest on Earth, in her own bubble as her soft chuckles resonated in the silence of the street. Sunghoon was too stunned to speak a word, clearly dazed by the scenery painted in front of his eyes. The golden hour made it look even more beautiful than it was already, melting his icy heart the more he was watching you.

« HUM... Can I help you? » Sunghoon heard a voice calling out to him, stopping him from his dazy state and regaining consciousness. The sight of you was nowhere to be seen as an old granny, smiling softly at him, stood a few meters away from him, eventually blocking him from seeing you.

« Oh, hum, n-no... I was just passing by... » he answered, caught off guard and blushing from embarassment. He quickly bowed before hasting his steps out of sight. At this moment, he believed that he could never see you again.

So the day you splashed your milk onto his shirt, his anger immediately turned into surprise when he saw your face, the image of you patting the dog inked in his brain. He hadn't got the time to speak a word that you were already dashing out of his sight, handing him a tissue while looking down and walking past him.

« How long does a racing lasts? » You ask, reclaiming again Sunghoon's attention on you.

Watching as Heeseung heaved a sigh alongside a sly grin, his face showing nothing else but satisfaction and victory.

« It's tonight, midnight, I will pick you up at 11:30 PM » Heeseung smirks, eyeing you with fancy eyes.

« I didn't ask when it was, I asked about the duration, you sigh, besides I didn't even agreed, you stated and raised a brow at him.

- Yet. If you really wanted to refused you would have already told me no, he smiles, knowing he won, so tell me, are you coming or not? »

Gritting your teeth, you looked everywhere besides the two men in front of you, one eager to know your answer, certain you will say yes. The other, praying you will say no, his eyes not leaving yours.

« Y/N- », begins Sunghoon before getting cut of by Heeseung.

« Come on! First and last time I ask you to! »

« I really hate you... » you mutter enough for them both to hear.

« Shit… » thinks Sunghoon, completely devastated you agreed.

여덟.

« Every day, I enter into a different world

I was a butterfly, attracted to the temptation 

I���ve fallen into a sweet scent

How do I look ? »

Here you were, waiting for Lee Heeseung to come pick you up, your hands tightly grabbing the strap of your purse. Soon enough, you catch a glimpse of a car's headlights. Stopping just in front of you, the driver's door opened to reveal Heeseung. His hair was up, showing his forehead, wearing a dark blue baggy jeans, an oversize black t-shirt with a leather jacket. His looks were complimented by earrings and necklace. And on his face, a smirk was plastered. You could tell he loved what he was seeing.

« Here we go, Mrs Y/N, » he smiles, opening the passagenger's door for you, and you oblige, sitting inside his car. His car was impressive, a black Alfa Romeo Giulia quadrifoglio. « Perfect for his car's racings », you thought to yourself as your eyes wander on the illuminated dashboard. As much as your heart was beating loudly, a part of you was telling you that Lee Heeseung has made a special propose for you to drive with him made you feel unique, until the other part of your brain reminds you that the seat you're currently sitting on had tons of women on it. It gave you chills and a little frown make its place on your face as Heeseung finally eases himself beside you.

« Are you comfy? he asks before stopping himself when looking at your face, I feel like I just kidnapped you while you agreed to come with me. » He chuckles while you refused to look back at him, a small pout on your lips.

« Nothing, hurry so I can go home as fast as I can, » you mumble while looking at the window.

« Alright, received loud and clear. » He smiles before pressing his foot on the pedal, the car dashing at top speed.

You suppress a loud gasp when he does, firmly gripping anything you can grasp. Your heart that was already beating real fast feels like it could explose anytime. You could not even apprehend what was happening at the moment, the city flashing at an incredible speed, soon reaching the small-town.

You try not to pay too much attention on the way he has his left elbow on the ledge of the window, his fingers grazing his lips and the other hand, firmly seizing the steerwheel. Gosh why was he still attractive after all the troubles he did to you?

« Liking the view my lady? » he says, snapping you out of your trance.

« I would be pleased if I could get another one right now. » You answer without missing a beat.

All you recolted was his laugh filling the tensed silence.

« I can say you give your trust easily Y/N, he stated with a grin, you really do look like those children who are seen being proposed some candies by a total stranger, he looks at you for a few seconds before looking back at the road, fallen into the trap. »

«I-, » you tried to answer back but couldn't say anything as it was true.

The rest of the trip was spent in the silence as a soft music played in the background. You were feeling uncomfortable. Mainly because you were not expecting to spend a soiree with a man and mostly Lee Heeseung.

You finally arrived when you see an infinite amount of cars alongside cheerful people, suddenly feeling self-consicous about the situation you're in right now. You didn't think about the fact that Lee Heeseung was very well known in town and so, that everyone surely already knew it was him by the sight of his car. As Heeseung parked right in front of a crowd, he turns his head to look at you. « Just be natural pretty, you will mak’em all speechless » he whispers smoothly, you took a deep breathe, nodding quickly before going out of the vehicule.

« Yo man, came with your new chick? Whistle a man upon seeing you, his eyes roaming up and down your silhouette.

- Yup, m'racing with her tonight, » grins proudly Heeseung, glancing back at you with a glint in his eyes while you roll yours up.

You then noticed how people were staring at you, mixed reactions coming up as you try not to pay attention to it. However, in the corner of your eyes, you notice a familiar body. Park Sunghoon. He was standing alongside the rest of the band. His eyes were fixed on you, a frown visible on his features. This made you uncomfortable. To be honest, everything made you self-conscious and anxious. This wasn't something you were used to, all the ruckus, this seems like another world to you and the dryness in your throat wasn't helping.

« Everyone! I'm gonna list all the races of tonight! » announces a slender men wearing a pair of sunglasses even though it was pitch dark, his long hair hiden behind a red cap.

Soon, everyone turned their attention towards him, listening actively to what he was saying.

« And for the last race, we will have Lee Heeseung against a new opponent! Tonight signs his first participation! Please, welcome Park Sunghoon! » he screams happily as he gestures towards the said man, standing not so far away from you, screams soon invading your ears as your eyes were fixed on him.

You notice the way his face remains close, not a single emotion discernible except for determination. And as your eyes cross each other, a firm grip on your hip made you look up, a low angle-shot of Heeseung's side profile entering your vision.

« Stop staring at him and focus on me. He says lowly only for you to hear.

- And who are you to order me that? You answer him, an eyebrow arched, surprising yourself at the way you could respond with confidence.

- Consider tonight like a date. He grins, finally looking down at you, his eyes flickering between your lips and your eyes.

- ...Tch. » You sigh. You really felt into his trap.

When your turn finally came, your hurriedly walk to go to Heeseung's car, but not before a hand gripped your forearm, yanking you slowly back.

« Can we talk real fast before going? You recognize his voice, it's Sunghoon.

- Okay... but quick. You nod along before isolating yourself with him, Heeseung watching afar not really liking what he is seeing, but the crowd around him make it impossible for him to reach out to you.

- Fuck. » He curses under his breath, feeling his blood boiling in his veins.

Being now a few meters away from all these people, Sunghoon halt his steps and turns around, his eyes immediately falling on your delicate features.

« Listen-

- Sunghoon-, you both started at the same time. He quickly gestures you to keep going as you heave a sigh, why? Why are you participating in this race ? Weren't you the one saying it was dangerous? You frown, your arms crossing against your chest.

- I know, I'm sorry I just... I just.. I think I just can't trust Heeseung hyung with you. He spoke, his words faint as if he was searching for his words. Thanks for the darkness of the sky, you couldn't decipher his red cheeks and ears nor even the way his eyes were looking everywhere but you.

- And why so? » You tilt your head, ignoring the reason behind this reasoning.

Your eyes were fixed on his face as he looks right back at you, determination written on his face.

« Because I… »

You were now in Heeseung's car, your heart beating crazily against your ribcage.

« What happened with Sunghoon? the driver asks, tone colder than a few hours ago.

- Nothing concerning you, you answer slowly, the name of the other man making you anxious.

- Y/N, what did Sunghoon told you? » Heeseung repeats, his voice a bit menacing as he places his car on the left side of the track, a gorgeous woman standing at your right with two flags in her hands. Soon, another vehicule stops just beside you. Not wanting to face Heeseung, you look at the window only to meet Sunghoon's fierce gaze. Your cheeks reddening, you quickly look in front of you, breath stuck in your chest.

« Well, if I win, you better tell me, he scoffs, foot on the pedal, pressing it hardly, both cars' motors roaring up.

- No, you frown, your hands clasping against the belt.

- It wasn't a question, » he finally says as a loud sound comes from an air horn signalling the start of the race.

Your words got stuck in your throat as the car dash at an alluring speed, your hands quickly grabbing the door's handdle to keep yourself steady.

« Fuck you Lee Heeseung for pulling me in this shit, you curse, feeling like your heart could explode anytime.

- The pleasure is mine baby, he smirks, shooting a glance in the rearview mirror, seeing as Sunghoon was close behind you, I can't believe it's his first time, you don't drive like this on your first time, he chuckles lowly, accelerating.

- Well, don't blame me if I end up barfing in your car, you say, breathless as he took a sharp turn on the left, your head almost colliding harshly against the window.

- Mark your territory pretty, » he only chuckles loudly.

It was a close race, one you couldn't tell who will win. And to be honest, you were more on the verge of throwing up and dying than to take care on who was winning. The only thing you could do was to focus on your breathe, cursing here and there and wondering why on earth did you accept to accompagny him, for what? Some dumb stationnary things you could buy yourself?!

In no time, you heard another loud bang of air horn, concluding the end of the race. Your eyes previously closed, opened slowly to reveal the crowd cheering for you.

« Did you win? You ask, voice weak and wet.

- Yup, I won baby, » the playboy declares, quickly opening his door as people were cheering loudly for him.

He quickly blend into the crowd, happily celebrating his victory as you got out of the vehicule, running to a secret corner to throw up. Coughing, tears in your eyes, you felt a striking pain in your head.

« I hate this man so much... kof kof... » you blabber, wiping your mouth with the hem of your hoodie.

You hurriedly dash out of the car once the latter stops in front of your house. The ride back was silent as you had closed your eyes all along, not answering the winner even once.

« Hey, Heeseung spoke, after stepping out of his car too, hands in his pockets, he makes his way towards you, a grin evident adorning his face, care to explain what had happened between you and Sunghoon now that I won?

- No. And after this night, I think I hate you even more, you spat, tiredness written all over your face.

- All right all right, what did I even do this time? he smirks, coming closer to you, his scent invading your nostrils as the wind carries his perfume.

- I... I freaking threw-, » you said before feeling another wave of vomit climbing back up your esophagus, your hand clasping against your lips.

Seeing your state, Heeseung couldn’t help but laugh out loud, his bright smile making you blush.

« It’s alright, just throw up, » he snickers as you walk fast away from him, crouching down near the drain in front of your house. Soon enough, you throw up once more, feeling breathless and thirsty. You then feel two warm hands tying your hair up in a makeshift ponytail, then a delicate hand massaging the back of your neck.

« I’m sorry I had to put you through this, but I had to win, » he smiles, his eyes inked to the back of your head as you cough, a few tears escaping your eyes.

Lee Heeseung, apologizing? This does not goes together very well. But why does he sound so sincere? Did he really meant those words?

« And for what? What did you won? » You ask, spitting not so gracefully in the drain, feeling well aware of his eyes on you, at this point you couldn’t care because your head was throbbing so painfully that receiving a bullet in your skull was the only solution you could think of.

« I was wishing for a chance with you actually, he said unbothered while you choked on your own saliva.

- Are you kidding me? You say, your throat so dry you feel like all the water in your body left you when you threw up.

- Nope, I want you. » he said, crouching down next to you, his fingers cupping your jaw to make you look at him. His thumb coming up to wipe off the saliva at the corner of your lips, the movement making you dizzy.

In the breezy night, it felt like only you and Lee Heeseung remained on Earth as time seems to have stopped. His eyes were hypnotizing you, your breathing stopping as you contemplate each other. For a second, your mind sure felt bewitched by his pupils. You felt like you were drunk, was it the effect of your periods? The fatigue? The stress? Or was it simply because of him?

« Make me love you… you breathed out, quietly.

- Mh? He only hums, slowly approaching his face closer to yours.

- If you so want me… then try to make me love you… you whisper, your ears and cheeks turning crimson as your heartbeat pounded furiously.

- Are you allowing me to? Because once I start, there’s no turning back, and… I will not accept any complain coming from your pretty lips » he mutters, his eyes closing slowly.

On the contrary, your eyes opened wildly, is he really going to kiss you? Like, right now? Your thoughts invaded your brain and without thinking twice, you quickly pushed him away, both your hands on his toned chest before getting up and running towards your house.

« I threw up! You say embarrassed as you fidget with your purse while searching for your keys.

- Wouldn’t have bothered me… » he mumbles to himself as he chuckles, a smirk plastered on his face as he watches you, hands in his pockets.

아홉.

« Farther, a little bit farther, high in the sky

I’ve come a white star as I fly away

Never seen it before 

(Such warm eyes) »

You sigh in relief as you remember that it was Saturday.

« Finally alone! » You huffed softly, stretching out on your bed as birds are chirping.

Thanks to your great organisation, you already did all your homework too, so the weekend will be pretty chill. As you were humming contently, memories of what happened last night flew in your head and you quickly hide your tomato face in your cushions, screaming your frustration out.

« Are you okay girl? A deep voice asks.

- Huh? You’re back?! You instantly lift your head up to look up at your big bro, standing against the door of your room.

- Yup. Why did you screamed like a dead hen? Did you realized you’ll be single for the rest of your life? He grins mockingly.

- Shut up you cow! You spoke back, yeeting a pillow in his direction which he avoids easily.

- Breakfast’s ready, move yo ass down. » He smiles, satisfied before going down the stairs.

Fortunately for you, the breakfast went smoothly, catching up with your brother and spending time with your family is something you particularly enjoy.

« Someone threw up in the drain just in front of our house, if I catch them I’ll send them to Hades! Rumbles your dad as your face turn pale and you gulp down.

- If only you knew Dad… you thought to yourself, once again remembering Heeseung’s lips near yours.

- Hey, why are ya red like this? Smirks your brother, teasing you for the ninth time.

- Eggs are hot, you try to dissuade him, glaring.

- They’ve been on your plate for an hour what do you mean they’re hot? Liar. » He replies back, an eyebrow cocked, not believing you one bit.

You just snort and keep on eating, missing the way your brother’s stare remained on you for a bit longer than usual, examining your face.

**Buzz buzz**

The table trembles slightly as your phone vibrates. All eyes on you as you check your notifications. Some messages from an unknown number. Well…. Not so unknown if you’re being honest because you knew exactly who it was.

« Answer, grins your brother.

- No phone at the table. Strictly orders your mom.

- Mom, your daughter is probably seeing your future son-in-law, snickers your brother which earns a small kick from you under the table, ouch! Why so violent sis?

- The day my daughter will have a boyfriend will be the day your father will stops snoring, your mother chuckles as your phone keeps vibrating, Y/N answer the poor boy.

- …, you watch every member of your family before sighing, okay…, » you mumble, taking your phone and walking away.

You then isolated yourself in the kitchen, a groggy voice reaching your eardrums.

« Hey beautiful, he greets you, the raspy voice being a clue of his recent awakening.

- What? You answer drier than intended, making him chuckle.

- Do you feel better? He asks, his eyes closed as your voice soothe his heart.

- Yes… thank you… for holding up my hair…, you mumble shyly, suddenly embarrassed about the fact you actually threw up before a human other than your family.

- Are you free? I want to see you. His tone sounded so pleading, you thought for a second.

- …Let’s buy what you had promised me, you whisper softly, unconsciously smiling.

- All right, will be here in 20, » he says, making a kissing sound before hanging up.

Your cheeks flushed when you realized he sent you a flying kiss. Before quickly shaking your head and slapping your cheeks. « Get your shot together Y/N! » you think to yourself.

« It was cheesy sis, sneers your brother peeking through the door, I actually can’t believe my sister has a date like right now, by the way can you run some errands for me? I will send you by texts. Thank you! He quickly says before disappearing.

- This kid I swear, I wonder if I’m not the older sister sometimes. » You roll your eyes up before quickly preparing yourself.

« Is it a date? Is it not? » After all, Heeseung did promised to buy you some stationery items, right? So he was just fulfilling his promise, right? So why couldn’t you stop the speed of your heart nor the unstopping back and forth thoughts in your head? Twenty minutes flew by in an instant and you were nervously waiting for him in front of the gates.

A loud roaring takes your attention as you search for the familiar car of last night. Here you see Heeseung’s impressive car, stopping in front of you.

« Tut-tut-tut, before you go lemme do a small check, cut off your dad, surprisingly standing next to you, I gotta see who is taking my daughter away from me.

- Dad it’s not a date..! You mumble between gritted teeth as you watch anxiously the way Heeseung got out of his car to come to you.

- That’s what your mom told her dad on the first date with me, he scoffs before examining Heeseung from head to toe.

- Good morning, I’m Lee Heeseung, » the latter says, extending his hand after bowing politely to your dad.

Your dad only shakes the younger man’s hand, his grip strongly engulfing Heeseung’s one. He puts some more pressure on his grip before Heeseung tightens his too making your dad chuckles shortly.

« 11 PM, not one second more, » he just said before turning his heels away and going back home.

You scoff at what he said, rolling your eyes up.

« I‘ll be home earlier than that, » you shake your head in disbelief.

Lee Heeseung could only smile as he opens the door for you, before going to the driver seats and driving you two in direction of your favorite shop.

열.

« Deeply place me in your universe

(I’ll close my eyes) 

Take me far away

And make me love you »

8 PM, you couldn’t believe your eyes as you saw the time. Did you just spent a whole day with the man you thought hated from your deepest guts? The day flew by so quickly you did not even noticed it. And you hated to admit it but you had a great time with him. It almost felt too real to be true.

You were sitting on a bench, facing a lake as some shopping bags were at your feet, a respectable distance between you and Heeseung.

**Buzz buzz**

Your phone vibrates as you were staring at the female duck and her children swimming in the water.

« Ayo sis, I’m sending you what I need, just go to the 24/7 store! Thank you! » was the text your brother sent you before a list followed right after.

« - Cigarettes

- Lighter

- Candies

- Lube

- Condoms- »

You cough out loud, almost throwing out your phone in the lake as you saw the two last items he needed.

« Is everything okay? Heeseung asks with a small frown upon seeing you coughing badly.

- Y-yeah…yeah yeah… you chuckle it off, looking elsewhere but him.

- Do you want to go home? I will drive you-

- No actually I need to buy some stuff for my brother you can go ahead, I’ll go home alone, you smile sheepishly.

- Your dad’s gonna kill me if he ever learn I let you go home alone, Heeseung responds, and he was right, besides, I do want to drive you home, » he smiles softly, grazing his eyes over your features.

You could only sigh. Secretly noticing how the Lee Heeseung you knew in college wasn’t the same one standing in front of you.

« Well… why should I be shy since you saw me spitting out my intestines? You finally say before standing back up on your feet. Let’s go, » your turn to face him, his eyes staring up at you.

You didn’t noticed the awkward feeling right away but now it was eating you up as you were in the aisle presenting every brand of condoms that existed.

« Did I miss a hint from you? Smirks Heeseung, a box of condoms in his hand as he fixes the product.

- Stop it, I already want to bury myself alive right now, you whisper lowly, checking your surroundings like a psycho every two seconds, checking if someone is witnessing you.

- Should I help you out? These ones are great, he said, pointing a particular brand on a shelf.

- God, I didn’t have to know! You bite down on your lower lip, heat quickly spreading across your cheeks and your chest.

- And for the lube, take this one, » he says softly, ignoring your words, his body suddenly behind you as he reaches for a box of lube, the proximity making you breathless.

It seems like you stopped working as you couldn’t answer him nor move. So Heeseung took the matter in his hands and grabs the necessary items in one hand and your own hand in his other before leading you to the cashier. He then puts down the items that were quickly scanned by the young lady, eyeing you not so secretly.

« 28080.55₩, announces the lady.

- W-what?! Twenty thousand freaking won for some condoms and lube?! You thought to yourself before a little sound comes from the POS machine, indicating that the payment was done.

- Thank you! Have a great night! Bow the cashier before you couldn’t even process anything.

- Let’s go, » says Heeseung, grabbing the plastic bag and your hand, leading you outside.

You only snapped back to reality once the cold wind hit your face.

« Why did you paid for it?! And why did you choose the most expensive ones?! Twenty thousand won for condoms and lube were not worth it!

- If we want to do it correctly, the price is not important, he grins, tilting his head curiously.

- It’s not for me! You blush furiously, looking away and walking towards his car, let’s go home now.

- Should we eat a bit before I drive you home? He offers.

- …Then let me pay for it, you suggest after taking a few seconds to think.

- Alright princess, » he smiles as you both enter his car.

Like promised, Lee Heeseung let you pay for the dinner. You didn’t know if he was doing it on purpose or not, but his menu was cheaper than you, almost making you believe that he didn’t wanted you to pay a crazy amount.

« Are you sure this will be enough? You only took some fries and a soda… you mutter, looking down at his tray.

- Don’t worry, just eat, he shakes his head, plopping one fries in between in lips, slowly munching on it as he stares at the window.

- Here… you extend your untouched burger close to his mouth, your lips in a thin line. Hurry before I take it out. »

Heeseung looks at you with wide eyes before a warm smile spread onto his lips, holding onto the eye contact as he bites in the burger. His hand engulfs yours placed on the burger as he munches slowly. You then noticed how his fingers are long and slim, bigger than yours.

« Liking the view? His words seemed oddly familiar, reminding you of the scenes that happened earlier this weekend, finding it odd how everything changed in only a week.

- It’s not too bad, you answer boldly this time, keeping the eye contact.

- Want to see more? He grins.

- Nope, no more, don’t cross the line, you suddenly stopped him, his eyes going wide, a shocked expression before he burst out laughing, what? You ask, in disbelief.

- Nah you’re just cute, » he says, his chin on his palm, watching you endearingly as you eat your burger.

You stopped in front of your house’s gates, turning around.

« Thank you, I guess? » You say in a sigh.

Heeseung comes close to you, taking the bags from your hands and putting them down.

« I’ve never in my life waited this long, he mumbled, hands clasping around yours.

- For what? You ask a bit incredulous, palms sweating as the unusual feeling creeping in your chest comes again.

- After everything I’ve done to you, you’re still clueless of my intentions? I even said it to you multiple times already, he chuckles, incredulously.

- It doesn’t change the fact that you’re a playboy Heeseung…

- Do you want me to stop? He grins, a loving beam in his eyes.

- And what if you do? You answer back, looking up at him, getting lost in his eyes.

- Then I can have you for myself, he whispers, leaning dangerously close to you.

- I don’t know… you speak softly, voice fainter and fainter.

- If I give you something you longed for ever since, will you let me kiss you? He stares deeply in your eyes, searching for any hints of rejection, none besides hesitation.

- Depends… » you say, not really sure what he meant by that.

He fiddles with something in his pocket before a too familiar stringed bracelet comes into your field of view: the one your childhood’s friend gifted you, your anti stress.

« How…

- It fell when you were escaping Jake the other day, he gave me this and I knew it belonged to you when you came back searching for it, he whispers as he ties it back around your wrist.

- Thank you… for the day… for the bracelet, you trail off, not taking your eyes off from the simple but precious accessory on your wrist.

- It’s okay… he murmurs, his finger lifting your chin up, so is that a yes? You’re not going to reject me now, right? You didn’t threw up nor-

- Hurry up before I change my mind! You hiss, blushing and hitting his chest lightly.

- I love you. »

His words caught you off guard as his lips meet yours in a sweet kiss. Warmth spreading everywhere in your body as you felt butterflies in your stomach. Kissing Lee Heeseung was so easy, he made it so easy by taking the lead, kisses intoxicating your trail of thoughts.

His gentle bite on your bottom lip made you gasp, his wet muscle quickly claiming yours in a burning tango.

From his point of view, Heeseung sneakily slide his hands on your hips, grabbing them firmly as he practically presses his body to yours. His eyes half opened to see the way your eyes fluttered or the way your cheeks flushed. His heart couldn’t take any more of it, pounding in sync with yours.

« Gosh you make me go insane Y/N… he whispers against your lips, heavy breathing as you both seems in a trance, forehead finally joining.

- I hate you…you lie, looking away.

- You’re so sneaky Y/N, » he chuckles, ready to capture your lips for another kiss.

A loud gasp emitted from behind you as you quickly step away from Heeseung, turning around to see your brother.

« Sorry to interrupt but… Lil sis, do you have my condoms? »

« K-kiss you, t-touch you, w-want you »

« Make me love you »

END.

Your Highness!

We are delighted to see you here!

After a long break, our Queen had finally decided to wake up and had works her magic again!

She charged me to inform you about her ongoing activities! Lots of things are happening so we are hoping you will enjoy them!

Apologizing for taking so long to come back, we wish you a happy day.

- Butler of the castle.

[slytherizz]

~WIP~

Thanks for the tag @kaidynsarell 💚

Dad!Seb Christmas fic which has been sat in WIPs for over a year. (I am aiming to hopefully finish for this year if my job allows me a moment of peace).

rules: share a snippet of a wip, then tag 5 writer friends!

***

Sebastian often wondered what she dreamed about. Each snuffling coo warmed his bare chest. Whisps of dark curly hair now beginning had begun to thicken and curl around her ear. Which he adamantly denied when his wife pointed it out because truthfully he never wanted to imagine she wouldn’t always be this small and bundled in one of what felt like dozens of soft knitted blankets Sweeting had gifted them.

She was not an easy baby. Alice Sallow's first breath was a battle cry. Born stubborn and wailing, challenging the world that now she was here, she would not go quietly. Ominis had asked Sebastian if he was really her father at all and had in fact accidentally swaddled Mandrake by mistake. 

For the first few days, Sebastian did not care how much she screamed. Insisting it was a sign of a strong character. Alice would take life by the horns. A Sallow through and through. 

After weeks with scattered and pitiful hours of stolen sleep between them Sebastian was dangerously strung out. And he wished the horns she would grasp would take the form of six hours of uninterrupted sleep. 

They'd fed her, bathed her, pleaded with her and considering the amount he’d spent on it he was certain the only babies in Britain sleeping in a finer bassinet were muggle royalty. It would not do.

But truely, Alice seemed just as distressed about the lack of suitable sleeping arrangements as her parents. Her cot was too static, her little legs kicking ferociously, unnerved by the offending stillness. The rocking bassinet tipped too far and the motions dizzying and hazardous.

Days pressed into weeks. He and his wife passing ships in the night, sparing the other a quick kiss and a few hours of peace to sleep as they waited for their little girl to wail herself into exhaustion.

Their washing had piled up into a teetering pile in the corner of the bathroom. Dresses, shirts, an endless pile of baby clothes, an old quidditch jersey dragged from the back of the wardrobe in desperation mounting the pile. Sebastian discarded his last shirt so soiled no scourgify charm could fully clean on the pile of mysteriously stained garments he did not have the energy to wash. 

Opened the wardrobe, pulled out all the draws. Empty. Save for a pair of odd socks. The only remaining options at his disposal were his wedding robes or…nothing. 

Tags: @sebastianswallows @writing-intheundercroft @cuffmeinblack @jecksaa @applinsandoranges

[ivy-loves-chocolate]

Honey, I’m just getting started

Note: it was requested by one of my friends. I hope you’ll enjoy it 😊;

Pair: Jack Krauser x F!Reader;

Plot: Krauser and the reader are long-lost lovers. After his accident, he left her because he was afraid of being a burden, only to reunite in the village during the events of RE4. The first thing they do is have sex lol.

Tags: smut;

Ko-fi: if you want to support or commission me, please visit my ko-fi page. Thank you!

“Major Krauser…” a moan escaped through your lips as soon as Jack pinned you to a wall. He handled you in a brutal way, not because he wanted to cause you pain, but because it was just the result of all that suppressed sexual tension that’s been building since he first saw you. It’s safe to mention that you two had a thing going on while he was in the US army, but after his accident, he disappeared from your life. However, maybe it was fate or just a coincidence that you happened to meet him again during your mission. You heard rumors, but you didn't believe them until you saw him with your own eyes. The circumstances didn’t allow you two to talk, let alone touch, but he was a persistent guy who followed you from up close without your knowledge. 

You were in Luis’ lab when you heard the door being opened. The slow and long creak of the door drew your attention. You pulled your gun from the hostler and aimed at the source of the noise, ready to pull the trigger at a familiar frame emerging from the dark.

“Ease up, baby doll.” Krauser spoke with his hands up. The light slowly illuminated his face, exposing his rough features. Still, he gave you butterflies just like the first day you met. 

Of course, you didn’t have time to react, as he quickly walked towards you, pinning you to the wall as his hands began to explore your body. The height difference made you feel suffocated in that confined space, yet it was the first time you felt safe since you arrived in this village. Krauser yearned for your body, and that showed when you felt his hot breath at the crook of your neck. He didn’t know what to do first: kiss you, taste you, or bend you over and fuck your brains out. His hands were chaotic on your body too, yet he was very cautious and gentle. It’s been a long time, and despite having a hard time controlling his impulses, he doesn’t want to scare you. To show him that you want to continue, you tilted your head, giving him the space he desperately needed. Once he got a hint of your natural scent, he quickly pressed his soft lips on your skin, placing gentle kisses along your sore flesh. This made you gasp and grab his shoulder for support. 

“Straight to the point.” You teased him, giggling at the ticklish sensation that his lisp caused. 

“You know me, it’s what I do.” His kisses were a blessing for your bruised skin, and to make things more intimate, he began to lick and suck some spots until he’d get the desirable moan, the one that lets him know that you are ready for the next step.

“I missed you so much, Jack.” You said before that he pressed his lips over yours, kissing you so slowly as if he wanted the moment to last forever. He was shy at first, but when he got courage, his mouth began to conquer more and more of your lips, until the tip of his tongue began to lick them as another sign to ask for permission. The kiss became more and more passionate, bringing back good memories. You wrapped your hands around his neck, and he kept caressing your waist, until they began to slide lower and lower to your hips. 

The deed became more and more intense, and because of your exhausted state, you took a small break. You stared into each other's eyes in that silence. It was like the whole village stopped to allow you this moment of peace. He was the same man you fell in love with, only this time he was more scarred as a direct result of the battles he had to endure, and of leaving the army. 

“Why you didn’t say anything?” You spoke in a soft tone, not wanting to disturb the silence too much. You couldn’t help but scold him for leaving you.

“I didn’t want to become a burden.” You could see some of his confidence fading away.

"Nonsense, Major Krauser, you could never be a burden.” 

He lowered his gaze as guilt overcame him, but you cupped his chin and made him look at you. He was so confident back when he pinned you to the wall and kissed you aggressively, so you wanted that back. 

“Kiss me.” You said it with determination, almost like a command.

“Yes, y/n.” 

You both resumed kissing. His confidence was slowly returning to him as his hands finally cupped your ass. The sensation of his big, calloused hands squeezing your cheeks was delightful, and as a result, it made you yearn for more and more of him. You squeezed his chest as well, knowing damn well he was a sucker for it. He kept whimpering as your hands grabbed his pectorals and his palms kept massaging his hardening nipples through the shirt. 

“I want you, Major Krauser…”

"God, I love it when you call me like that.” 

He guided you near a table. As long as you could feel his hands on your body, you didn’t care that the table was covered in dried blood or that it smelled weird. You bend over like the good girl you were, feeling Krauser’s big hand over your back urging you to bend over. He placed it on your upper back and lowered it as you hunched over. 

Then he rubbed his crotch over your covered ass, feeling his erection poke out. It was a promising start, but you knew his potential, so you started to rub your 

“Hmmm, god, I miss seeing you like this.” He said it with a growl.

He grabbed both your hips and began to rub himself too, as well as pressing his erection repeatedly over your cunt. 

“Major Krauser, this brings back good memories…” you said. “But I want to feel more of you.” 

You felt his thick fingers reaching to unbuckle your belt, and before you knew it, a cold breeze hit your bare cheeks. The shiver didn’t last long as Krauser warmed your skin with his big hands by squeezing your soft cheeks. While doing so, his crotch kept rubbing against your exposed cunt, resulting in some of your juice smearing across his pants. 

“Stop teasing me, please…” you begged in a weak whimper. 

"Patience, love, it’s been so long and I don’t know when I’ll see you again.” He said. 

You were tempted to reply to his strange answer, but you were reduced to silence when you felt his thick digits enter your tight hole. 

“Jack…” you gasped as the fingers were slowly sliding inside you. It was such a nice sensation to be filled by him again. 

“You are so tight, my love…even tighter than I remember.” 

“Yeah…I haven’t been with anyone since you left…”

This certainly stroked his ego as he pushed deeper inside you. You grabbed the edges of the small table and held on for dear life as you rested your head on the dry rot.

Krauser slid in and out slowly with only half the length of his fingers. They were long enough, and he wanted to give you time to get used to them. He would’ve gone so much faster from the moment he felt your warm hole, but he got to temper himself for your sake. 

“Hmmm Jack…” you moaned his name as he stretched you. You spread your legs further and tried to lift up your ass so he would go deeper. 

“Look at you, just like an animal in heat.” He growled, finding it harder and harder to control himself. “I bet you would want my cock now.”

"Yes, pleaseee-“ you yelped when Krauser inserted his fingers deep in one hard thrust and grabbed that table harder than before, almost breaking it. 

“You are taking me well so far, maybe I’ll consider giving you something bigger.” He teased you while savoring the view of your cunt fully engulfing his digits.

“Please…” Your voice was breaking at this point, as his burst of sheer dominance was making you weak.

He wasn’t about to give it to you yet. Instead, he began to pick up the pace while his other hand was resting on your hip. 

"Oh, my God, yes…” you cried as you felt your hole being warmed up for his cock. They slid in easier and easier as you kept getting wetter with every thrust. At one point, some of your juice began to drip down your thighs, but you couldn’t feel it because of Krauser’s ravaging motions. 

“You like that don’t you?” 

“Yes, yes, yes…Insert another one…”

“What was that?” A smirk appeared on his face. He heard your request loud and clear but decided to tease you about it. 

"Jack… I need another finger, please…”

“Alright babydoll” His free hand went to massage your back as another digit joined the rest. It slid inside smoothly, causing you to let out a high-pitched moan. Some of the wood broke as you tightened your grip. The sensation sent shivers down your spine, as it felt too much. He made you feel so full with only three fingers. You shivered again in anticipation as you thought about the big prize. 

“You take me so well, doll…”

"Jack, please,” you pleaded, making sure he heard you. 

“Alright, I guess you deserve it.” 

He removed his fingers, making you both grunt. However, you got excited once again when you heard his zipper being pulled down. His pants hit the floor with a loud noise, and you heard some wet noises from behind as if he were stroking himself. 

“Don’t worry, I’m giving it all to you.” He said when he saw you trying to turn around without changing your position too much. You wanted to stay still and be ready for him.

A wave of pleasure pierced through your whole body when you felt the first inches of his cock being pushed inside. Being too weak to even grab the table, you let your upper body collapse on the surface. You held your hips up with the remaining strength you had.

His cock was thicker than his fingers, and so much longer. Good thing he stretched you first, otherwise, you wouldn’t be able to take him. 

“Already tired? Honey, I’m just getting started.” He teased.  

You were pleased to hear this, thus the wide smile appearing on your face. It’s been so long since you felt anyone inside you like this, and it meant a lot that this person who filled you now was Jack. 

Krauser, on the other hand, felt all his self control slip from his grasp. The deeper he went, the more difficult it became to maintain his cool. He was barely halfway in when he felt the urge to bury his cock inside you and fuck you raw. 

“Gotta control myself…” he said under his breath.

“What…?” You said so, vaguely hearing what he said. 

“Nothing love.” He was past the halfway point, and he was slowly making his way to the base of his cock. He went slowly, painfully slowly for both of you. 

“Babe…” 

“Yes?” 

“I don’t want you to hold back…” you said after figuring out what he said early. 

“Are you sure? I-I’m not the same as you remember…”

“I’m sure Jack…I trust you…please, I need this.” The last part came out in such a needy and weak way that it finally pushed Krauser to the edge. The grip from your hips tightened, and with one hard thrust, he buried himself inside you, where he stayed a few seconds before pulling out slowly, just to return with one hard thrust again. 

“Yes, this is what I’m talking about…now go faster.” You said his cock was rubbing that sweet spot inside you. 

"Yes, ma'am,” he happily picked up the pace, driving you over the edge. 

Having Krauser rub that spot inside you in such a brutal way brought you closer and closer to your climax. Your moans increased in volume the closer you’d get, and your cunt would throb harder and harder. You were so excited to be fucked by him again that you completely ignored the burning sensation coming from your hips, as his fingers kept clenching with every thrust and turning your flesh red. 

Krauser felt your contractions, driving him insane. It felt so good to have you twitch like that around his cock, so good that it almost made him cum before you. But, every time he’d feel that way, he’d slow down a bit so he could cool down, and when he felt that intense pressure fading a bit, he picked up the pace again. His ballsack was repeatedly slapping against your cunt, resulting in a room filled with wet noise, accompanied by your needy moans.

“Jack…” 

He knew that you were close, and so was he. Krauser didn’t have any faith that he could stop the next urge for release, so he went as fast as he could, hoping you’d cum this time with him.

To his relief and joy, you came all over his cock with a loud and shaky moan. The final spasms of your walls made him cum in seconds, coating your interior with his white, hot sperm. He buried himself deep and release all o his load in a load grunt. You both shivered at the insanity of your orgasms. 

Krauser was the first one to come down from the high clouds. You needed a few more minutes. You were so shaken and tired that you didn’t bother when he pulled out. You didn't have the energy to protest.

“Oh my,” he said suddenly, “look at all the mess I caused here. He said this as he noticed a mixture of his sperm and your juice dripping down your legs. “Someone has to clean this up.” And so, he kneeled in front of your tired cunt and began to lick the fluid. His wide tongue wiped your thighs very carefully and slowly, not only because he loved the salty taste but also because he wanted to clean you well. 

“You don’t have to.” You said in a tired voice. It caught you by surprise when you felt his hot tongue on your sore cunt, which made you spasm a bit. The tip of his tongue went between your lips, and then around your whole body until you were clean enough. He ran his tongue a couple of times above your clit too, but seeing you flinch and close your legs, he stopped and wiped the rest with a tissue.  

“It’s just like I remember.” He said that as he helped you dress up. 

“Yeah, same, but I couldn’t notice that you got an upgrade.” Your eyes lowered to his now covered cock. He definitely gained a few extra inches there. 

“It’s not the only upgrade I got.” He said as he pulled you closer for a tight embrace. He missed you deeply, and he never thought he’d see you again, let alone to fuck you. It feels like a good dream, so he has to touch you in order to make sure it’s all real. 

“Hmm, I’m intrigued. Can you tell me more about the other upgrades?” 

“Some other time.”

The two of you remained in complete silence, just enjoying each other’s company. Your mission would have to wait. 

[sunisglowing]

FULL MOON IN SHRAVANA NAKSHATRA- PICK A CARD

(sidereal capricorn)

WHAT DO YOU NEED TO HEAR?

⊹.⭒˚｡⋆⊹.⭒˚｡⋆⊹.⭒˚｡⋆

PILE 1

Stop overanalyzing and finally go for it. It may be about a passion or something creative that you might wanna start. You have a lot of ideas for it. You may be interested in something creative or artistic. This is your sign to go for it.

You might feel that people won't approve of it but baby you don't need anyone's approval. If you think that some people will come in the way of your pursuits, simply don't let them know about it. Lie! and lie hard. Sometimes to protect and grow something, we need to be sure it ain't seen by the wrong eyes.

It may for some of you that your family won't approve of it, but you should go after whatever you are passionate about. And you are a passionate soul and your soul seeks that.

Everything will come in balance and harmony, if you are thinking about your love and family, you just have to be secretive where you need to be. They might not get along together. There needs to be proper communication here.

You also need to protect what's most precious to you. You will get an answer or idea which will make things clear for you.

You would the resources and money. Financially you are or you will be doing well. Just keep in mind that don't tell others about your money. Keep your money safe and for yourself on the most part because you may need it in the future.

PILE 2

You need to move away from whatever isn't serving you emotionally. It may be the time to leave and let go. You your mind. Right now, you emotions might be too unpredictable and chaotic to rely on. Use your mind and I see realization hitting you soon. Full moons already are the time where you get clarity, so it makes sense.

It may also be that you may need to leave the environment that you are currently in right now. An opportunity may also come related to that.

The environment or person you are currently in/with, isn't giving you the peace of mind you may get after leaving it. You may leave something so as to divert your attention and focus on your career and money.

Wherever you are going, you will be meeting a lot of like minded people. A lot speed and momentum would come into your life after you this particular thing, place or person.

You may be leaving your home and relocating somewhere new for a job or studies. Others of you would be leaving a relationship or had left a relationship. Now you are moving into a new chapter of your life.

This phase for all of you is about moving on from the past and welcoming a new chapter in your life!!

PILE 3

You need to hear that, while you may face many setbacks and dissapointments along the way, your hardwork will pay off.

Right now you could be juggling with so many responsibilities and obligations that's it is hard for you to find balance in life. You may burn out frequently in the recent past and you totally exhaust yourself. I think you need to take the time out for rest too.

I see that there's a rush you feel to complete all your tasks. Maybe you have taken on way too much and now it's taking so much of your energy that you give little to no time for other things in life.

Listen, I am proud of you that you are working so hard but please take rest too. You work won't delay if you take time out for other things too. Seek help and advice from others if they are giving you. Remember, that a lot of people don't have any good guidance or advisors in life.

So you should appreciate all the help that's coming to you. Do not self sabotage. You aren't asking for too much and you aren't being lazy. Don't let other people, who don't see your efforts, tell you all that. You know how much you work so don't let voices apart from your's, affect you.

You may be studying or preparing a project, or just that you might be upskilling self. Be patient and don't let your fire and excitement turn into impatience or inconsistency. Keep your consistency and be patient. Keep your vision and cut off all the bullshit.

You will be seeing the results of your efforts and hardwork soon. If previous times were a phase of mental agony and emotional distress, know that a person of joy and inspiration is coming towards you!! Keep going.

PILE 4

You need to here that you need to keep your money protected. I feel that some of you have been through a heartbreak or betrayal. It could be that some of you were generous with your money to someone and they flew off. Or never returned the favor. or used you in someway.

It may be that for some of you decided to shift all your attention to your work and career as an escape from the pain or an act of moving on from the pain. But the past is still haunting you and it is affecting your work too.

Some of you need to take time out and heal that part of you. I don't mean that you stop working but don't shut off your feelings altogether.

You need to save up a lot. Keep your savings protected. You have the card of abundance. I don't mean to say hoard to much of your abundance but do not show it off or tell about it to your family, relatives or friends.

Some of you could work in finance or in banks. It might be hard for you to take care of these matters right now because of sadness. Something is mentally and emotionally agonizing you.

I also see that there is help coming in from someone who will help you manage this mess. Accept help from others. With your coworkers, maintain an equal give and take. If you want abundance and you want to see growth, remember that it's a two way thing - providing and receiving.

I see that there was an imbalance in your work life or other aspects - mental, personal and spiritual/religious part of your life. In order to attain peace of mind you need to nurture the other sides too. Career can make you stable but it solely won't be able to give you peace.

I see that whatever tension you are going through or have been going through, it will get better. You will be more happy and inspired again. It just needs your time, effort and patience by doing the right thing.

[call-me-maggie13]

Year One

JC was supposed to be home hours ago. Ava’s trying not to cry, she’s coated in flour and the cake is a rock hard, inedible brick. Diana crawls into the kitchen, babbling and blowing raspberries at Ava.

"Hi, hi! Hey, baby!" Ava wipes her hands on the dishrag and picks her up. "Are you having a good day?"

Diana babbles at her then sticks her tongue out and giggles, Ava smiles and sticks her tongue out in response.

The door opens, thumps loudly against the wall and JC stumbles into the house. He brings the smell of a sticky bar floor with him, rocking and stumbling like a drunken sailor during a hurricane.

"Oh, hey," JC slurs, offering Ava a peace sign and a nod. Ava sighs and walks away, lowering Diana into her playpen and handing her a shape sorting toy.

"You’re late." She wants to grab him by the shoulders and shake him, she settles for pushing past him. "Did you get a cake?"

"I had a shit day at work, thanks for asking, Ava." She can hear him rolling his eyes.

"Did you bring a cake or not, JC?"

"Fuck," he groans, leaning against the doorframe and running his hand through his hair. He looks exhausted, bags under his bloodshot eyes. Ava finds she doesn’t much care.

"It’s your daughter’s birthday and you didn’t get her a cake? Did you at least get her a present? Something to unwrap?"

He doesn’t answer, stuffs his hands deep into his pockets and cuts his eyes away. His jaw is clenched, the line hard and strong beneath the muscle, his throat bobs as he swallows.

"No?" She shakes her head and fights back the tears in her eyes. "No. Of course not, why would you?"

"I’m going to change." He turns and stalks down the hall, slamming the bedroom door behind him. It rattles the pictures on the wall and makes Diana flinch.

"Yeah. Great talk, JC." She calls after him, lifting a now screaming Diana from the playpen and trying to calm her. JC yells something back at her, but she can’t tell what he said over Diana’s cries. It doesn’t matter, she realizes, because she doesn’t care what excuses he has anymore.

They don’t talk the rest of the evening. JC brings her one of Diana’s stuffed animals wrapped in a plastic grocery sack — it’s not like she’ll remember, he had said and Ava had wanted to punch him — and they spend supper pretending they’re not angry.

JC plays a game on his phone in bed while Ava puts Diana to sleep, tinny electronic explosions and rapid gunfire echoing through the room until he groans and drops the phone on his chest.

"Happy birthday, Diana." Ava whispers when she puts her down, stroking her cheek and kissing her forehead. She sits on the edge of the bed and watches her sleep, wishing she’d been able to give her a better birthday.

"I can’t believe it’s been a year," she murmurs when she joins JC in bed, the man scoffing and rolling his eyes. "What? Say it, JC. Just fucking say it."

"Worst year of my life. Is that better? Did that make you feel better?" He raises his voice and Ava checks that Diana isn’t woken by it. JC sees and stands, stomps into the hall and motions for Ava to follow.

"You can’t fucking say that." Ava whisper-yells when they get to the living room. JC laughs, cold and hard and angry.

"I told you." He shakes his head and runs a hand through his hair before pointing an accusatory finger in Ava’s face, she flinches and steps back. He drops his hand with a sigh. "I told you I didn’t want to keep it."

"Keep it? It? Do you mean her, JC? She’s a year old. You’ve had a year."

"I didn’t want a baby." He’s quiet, his voice breathy and soft. "I told you when you found out."

"But you stayed!" Ava doesn’t mean to yell, holding her breath and waiting to see if she woke Diana.

"What was I supposed to do, Ava? Leave you pregnant and homeless? Abandon you with a newborn on the side of the street? I never wanted this. Don’t make me the bad guy."

"You don’t have to stay."

"I don’t want to!" She flinches at his booming voice. "Is that what you want to hear, Ava? I. Don’t. Want. To. Stay."

Diana cries, loud and howling and Ava wants to join her. She wants the ground to open up and swallow her.

"Then don’t." Saltwater races down her cheeks, drips from her chin to the floor and JC’s face falls. "I’ll find a job and an apartment. You don’t have to stay."

"Ava…" his fingers brush her elbow and she jerks away, dodges past him to get to Diana.

"No. It’s fine. You don’t want a baby. I’ll figure it out."

Neither says anything for a long time, they stare at each other in silence until JC sighs and shakes his head.

"I’ll sleep out here."

Ava nods and turns away, starting toward where Diana is wailing.

"Ava, wait." She stops and turns to him, eyebrows raised and breath held. He smiles sadly and nods at her, swallowing before continuing. "I just… thank you. I’m sorry."

Ava cries herself to sleep, apologizing for being a terrible mother to Diana who’s asleep on her chest. She’d ruined Diana’s first birthday, she’s going to grow up resenting Ava. What kind of mother ruins her baby’s first birthday?

JC helps Ava move that same weekend, leaving her with everything she could ever possibly need to raise a baby. He sends double what she asks for child support, but they don’t see each other again. She keeps up with him on social media, watches as he travels the world and chases girls and spends far too many weekends too drunk to remember his name.

He looks happy.

Year Two

"Is it supposed to look like that?" Lilith points at the lump on the breakfast bar. Beatrice frowns at her and wipes her hands down the front of her apron. She’s covered in flour and there are eggshells at her feet.

"Lilith, leave them alone," Camila grabs her by the elbow and drags her back to where they’re playing with Diana, who’s dressed in a yellow princess gown and tiara. Diana waves at Beatrice with a smile before returning to her tea party.

Beatrice waves back, even though Diana’s already looking away, before turning to Ava.

"I don’t think it looks that bad." Ava laughs at her, scrunching her nose up at the unforgiving lump that’s supposed to be Diana’s birthday cake. They’d tried, but maybe they weren’t meant to bake.

"It’s terrible, Bea." Ava tucks herself into Beatrice’s chest, arms winding around her waist and holding her in place. Beatrice drops her chin on the top of her head and squeezes her close.

"If we give her the dollhouse last, she might forget about the cake," Beatrice whispers with a chuckle, pulling away when Ava giggles and pushes her shoulder playfully.

"We could ask Shannon and Mary to pick one up?" The doorbell chimes and Ava groans. Another birthday without a cake. What kind of mother can’t bake a birthday cake?

Cheers of greetings drift down the hallway, bouncing and bubbling and bright. Diana abandons the tea party to sprint full speed into Shannon’s legs, nearly knocking them out from under her and sending her crumpling into the ground.

"What’s box?" Diana asks, reaching towards the box in Mary’s hands. Shannon and Mary share a grin before Mary drops to a knee next to Diana.

"It’s your cake, wanna see?"

"I told you we were making a cake, Shannon." Beatrice chides before Mary opens the box to reveal a unicorn shaped cake. Diana squeals and bounces on her toes, looking like she’s seriously debating throttling herself into the cake when Shannon scoops her up.

"I know, but you can’t bake and I guessed Ava wouldn’t be able to either, sorry." She isn’t. She’s laughing, but Beatrice doesn’t care because Diana has a cake now.

Ava catches her eye and Beatrice shakes her head minutely, glancing towards the kitchen. Ava nods and excuses herself to dump the cake into the trash. She barely manages to shut the lid before Mary joins her. Ava pretends to be wiping the counters off, like she didn’t just throw away her and Beatrice’s second pitiful attempt at a cake, and Mary laughs.

"Look, I’ve known Bea since she was fourteen. She can’t bake. It’s sad and it’s hilarious. But you?" Mary sets the cake on the counter and digs through a drawer for birthday candles. "I have to say, I did want to give you the benefit of the doubt. Shannon said you don’t have baking hands though, whatever that means."

"I did not!" Shannon bumps their shoulders before setting Diana down and watching her race back to her tea party. "What I said was that you don’t look like you know how to make a cake."

"That’s not true at all, she said you don’t have baking hands. I swear by it!"

"How does someone who knows how to make a cake look?" Beatrice asks, taking her sister by the shoulders and giving her a soft shake.

"Well, like me. Of course. And Camila and Lilith."

"Lilith can’t bake."

"Well, she looks like she can."

"Lilith started a kitchen fire. She was boiling water and started a fire. Lilith started a fire with water, Shannon." Ava giggles at Beatrice’s frustration, taking her hand and squeezing her fingers three times. Beatrice repeats the pattern.

"Beatrice! I was fifteen! Let it go!" Lilith calls from the kitchen table, earning a scolding remark from Diana about how princesses don’t yell. Lilith’s cheeks burn red and she apologizes, offering Diana a toy cookie as repentance. Diana accepts it and hugs her.

"Nannon, Mary come!" Diana asks, waving them over. Mary grins and drags Shannon out of the room by her hand, offering Diana a curtsy before taking the offered plastic tea cup and seat.

Ava leans onto the counter and watches them complimenting the tea and fake pastries, watches Diana glow with every word, her heart swelling until she fears it might burst. She has to take a deep breath to ease the pressure in her lungs.

"Are you alright?" Beatrice murmurs, pressing into the counter beside Ava. Their shoulders brush, burning and alight where their skin touches. Beatrice is watching her, grounding and pulling Ava from her head. Ava is quiet, watching. Waiting. Waiting for this to fall apart.

This can’t be real. Last year, Ava had cried herself to sleep on Diana’s birthday, after spending most of it alone — just the two of them. Last year, Ava had ruined Diana’s birthday and she’d failed her as a mother. Last year, Ava had thought she would never be able to give Diana a birthday she’d love.

She thought she had to do it all on her own.

But here she is. One year after the worst day of her life. Surrounded by the people who love her. Diana is bright and bubbly and loved. She is so deeply loved that it makes Ava’s eyes burn. It’s all Ava has ever wanted for her baby, people who love without conditions. Love that never gets taken away or asks for anything in return.

Diana has that now.

"Yeah, I’m just - " Ava shrugs, she doesn’t know how to put it into words. Beatrice doesn’t ask her to, she smiles and accepts when Ava curls into her chest, hearts beating in chorus. "Is this real? Are you real?"

"I believe so, yes." She buries her head in Ava’s neck and squeezes her tighter, her warm breath making Ava shiver.

"Ayo, lovebirds!" Something thumps off Ava’s shoulder and bounces to the floor. "Come get your kid, she’s trying to make me eat worm sandwiches!"

"You just threw a plastic croissant at Ava, I think you deserve a few worm sandwiches." Diana giggles at Beatrice’s response, bouncing in her seat.

"I was aiming for your head," Mary mutters, sticking her tongue out at Diana when she tries to put a toy sandwich on her plate.

"Hey! How about we do presents?" Shannon twists in her seat to talk to Beatrice, singsongy and grinning mischievously. "She’s going to love ours. And you are going to hate it."

Shannon lifts Diana from the seat, swooping her around the room making airplane noises. Diana squeals and flaps her arms all the way to the living room. Ava kisses Beatrice’s cheek softly before untangling and leading her out of the room.

Diana is sat in Lilith’s lap with a present wrapped in paper with cartoon animals, she’s pointing to them and naming them wrong. She points to a pig and tells Lilith it’s a dog, a rabbit she calls a cow, a horse she calls a bear. She’s giggling maniacally with each incorrect name.

It takes a little prompting to get her to abandon the game, but eventually they convince her to tear the paper open.

It’s a toy keyboard.

"Wow! That’s - " Ava’s voice is high and tight. "That’s just - wow!"

Diana smiles and pushes it off her lap, sliding to the ground and scampering to the big box in front of Mary. She rips the paper down and wraps the strip around her like a cape, spinning before abandoning it to tear another strip and repeating the action. Gradually, she tears her way through the wrapping and unveils a baby drum set.

"Oh my god, they’re in cahoots." Beatrice’s palm rests on Ava’s bouncing knee, stilling the movement.

"In cahoots? What are you seventy?" Ava curls her fingers over the top of Beatrice’s.

"It’s payback for all the times you stole my clothes." Shannon smirks and wiggles her eyebrows, already ripping through the tape to unpack it.

"Did you guys talk about what you were getting her? Did I miss a meeting? My gift is not within the theme." Camila offers Diana a small gift bag. Diana yanks the tissue paper out and throws it in the air, dancing under it as it falls. She does it again and again until she grows bored. She attempts to climb into the bag before Camila tells her there’s still something in it.

Ava hopes Camila didn’t get her a recorder or a tambourine because she’s not sure she’ll survive if she did.

It is a watercolor set. Oh, thank god.

"Is it?" Diana holds it out to Beatrice, climbing into her lap and listening while she explains it to her.

"Here, let me show you." She takes the cup of water from beside her and slides to the floor with Diana, flipping a paper over and dipping the brush in the water before swirling it in a blue and swiping it across the page. Diana gasps, eyes wide when she turns to Beatrice.

"Wanna try?" Beatrice offers the paintbrush to her and Diana nods, taking it from her like it’s the most precious thing she’s ever received. She jabs it into the paper and turns to Beatrice with a grin, Beatrice nods and Diana does it again, pausing and listening intently while Beatrice explains how to change colors.

Diana makes a picture for everyone, each a blob of colors swirling together until they’re almost a brownish grey. Beatrice asks Diana twice if she wants to open her present from Ava and her. Diana turns her down both times, completely focused on her painting.

Shannon and Mary spend the next hour and a half arguing over how to put the drum set together, Lilith sets up the keyboard and starts to plunk out a melody that earns a cursory glance from Diana before she returns to her art.

Slowly, their guests trickle out, leaving for their own homes with their paintings from Diana. Lilith elects to go with Camila in an attempt to get out of doing the dishes she’d promised to wash. Beatrice doesn’t quite mind.

It isn’t until Diana falls asleep on her paintbrush that Ava even mentions leaving, almost like it hadn’t occurred to her that she wasn’t home.

"Stay. She’s already asleep, you can take the guest room." Beatrice wipes the watercolor from Diana’s face with a damp cloth, careful not to wake her. "I’ll help you move everything to yours in the morning, yeah?"

Ava pretends she doesn’t immediately want to accept the offer, wiggling her shoulders in nonexistent silent debate. When she agrees, Beatrice lights up like a candle, eagerly leading Ava to the guest room where she tucks Diana in carefully. She kisses Diana’s forehead and whispers something Ava can’t make out but it warms her chest regardless.

Ava helps Beatrice clear away the mess of the party. Beatrice smiles at her over the breakfast bar, stacking dishes in the sink while Ava wipes the table. When Ava attempts to start washing the dirty dishes, Beatrice drags her out of the kitchen.

"Lilith can do them when she gets home or in the morning, you sit. Relax. This is a big day for you too." Beatrice takes her place at Ava’s side on the couch.

"Is that so?" Ava taunts, one eyebrow raised when Beatrice turns to her.

"Of course. You made an entire person, Ava. And you kept her alive for two years. That’s not a small thing. You literally created an entire human being two years ago. You made a person that didn’t exist before. Do you not think that’s awe-inspiring?" There’s a light in her words that burns deep beneath Ava’s skin, her voice soft and high while Ava watches her.

Ava wants to deny it. She’s not certain she’s deserving of the way Beatrice is looking at her right now. She’s never thought about it like that, never really considered anything about her pregnancy miraculous or awe-inspiring. It was always something that just was. It was neither good nor bad, it was something that happened to her more than it was anything else.

She loves Diana with everything she has and is, but there are moments that she wonders if her daughter will hate her for the things Ava can’t give her.

"Whether or not you believe me, Ava, you did something miraculous." Ava bites her lip to hide how it trembles, cuts her eyes away so Beatrice can’t see the tears gathering. Beatrice hooks a finger under Ava’s chin and turns her face back slowly, traces the line of her jaw with her thumb. "That deserves celebration too."

Ava doesn’t have the words to respond, she doubts she could formulate a coherent sentence right now even if she tried. Beatrice doesn’t try to force an explanation for the quiet tears that she gathers beneath the pads of her thumbs. She waits, gentle and quiet, while Ava takes a shuddering breath and nods at her.

"So?"

"So." Beatrice waits with the ghost of a smile, eyes sparkling.

"How are we to celebrate?" Ava tries to smile even though her voice trembles and cracks.

"How do you wish to celebrate?" Ava shrugs and Beatrice chuckles. "We can do anything you’d like. As long as it is within the apartment, I don’t think Arson would be a great babysitter."

Arson lifts his head at his name, blinks at her sleepily and flicks his tail. He stretches and bounces across the coffee table, carefully avoiding Diana’s drying artwork, and brushes against Ava. He purrs loudly and curls into her lap, nudging her hand until she scratches behind his ears.

"Can we just - can we be here?" When Ava extends her hand to Beatrice, she accepts it with a nod and presses a soft kiss on the back of it.

Neither talks for a while, Beatrice traces shapes into the inside of Ava’s wrist, little hearts and stars and swirls. She leaves goosebumps in her wake. Beatrice can feel Ava’s heart racing beneath her touch, notices the way she shivers when Beatrice lightly scratches her forearm.

There’s a moment, when Ava’s breath stutters and she glances at Beatrice’s lips and she thinks she might kiss her. Beatrice wants her to kiss her.

But she doesn’t.

Because Diana comes stumbling down the hall dragging her blanket with her thumb tucked between her teeth. She pushes Arson out of Ava’s lap and takes his place, pulling him back once she’s settled. She squeezes him against her chest and he makes a dissenting meow but he doesn’t fight back.

"Happy birthday," Diana whispers to no one in particular around her thumb, dropping her head against Ava’s shoulder. She’s so cute, smiling dopily at Beatrice who brushes her sleep tousled hair out of her face.

"Did you have a good birthday, patinho?" Diana nods and crawls from Ava’s lap to Beatrice’s, dragging poor Arson with her. "Why don’t we let the cat go? Yes?"

Diana pouts but she relinquishes him anyways. He darts out from her embrace only to return a moment later, kneading on Diana’s blanket across her legs. She pats his head and smiles when he nuzzles against her.

Maybe, in another lifetime, this wouldn’t be so difficult. This wouldn’t be so terrifying. Maybe this would be easy and natural and wouldn’t make Ava feel like she’s going to throw up. Maybe it would be as simple as breathing.

But it isn’t now. Because Ava would rather pretend they’re just friends than risk having to explain to Diana why Beatrice isn’t around anymore.

She’s already had one parent walk out on her, Ava doesn’t want to be the reason she loses another.

Find more here!

[0nlythrowharrybeaux]

No Kids**

This is a quick smutty one about husband/dad Harry finally having sex with Y/N, his wife, after a several month long drought.

Warnings: oral (f receiving), unprotected sex, talk of pregnancy, lactation.

WC: 3.1k

Check out the rest of my writing here:)

When Harry’s alarm went off at 6:30am you groaned softly before turning away from his body to allow him to either get out of bed or snooze it. You were accustomed to the former; Harry was very serious about sticking to his workout regimen and hardly ever missed a day at either the yoga studio, pilates bar, the pool, or a simple run around the neighborhood. In other words you were used to mornings alone now. 

It wasn’t as bad as it sounded. You quite liked this actually; stretching out on the bed and taking up as much space as you wanted (even if it was a king mattress), not feeling too hot with Harry’s furnace of a body around you, nor too cold because he’d sometimes kick off the covers when he felt too stuffy. And most importantly, for the next 15 or so minutes you would enjoy absolute and unbothered silence. The kids wouldn’t be un until at least 6:45 if they were right on schedule and you cherished that time alone, there didn’t seem to be very much of it in supply these days. So as you felt Harry’s weight roll away you smiled, getting ready to enjoy the best part of your day. His alarm stopped and next thing you knew he was rolling back towards you and pulling you back into his chest. It was strange to you, even more so as you felt him hard against your backside.

Marriage, kids, the white picket fence dream, it had its perks but it also had its downsides. Like your life wasn’t yours anymore and Harry’s wasn’t Harry’s anymore, your lives were devoted to your kids now and they took up a lot of your time. Harry was still as busy as ever. He assumed that after taking a nearly year long hiatus from the scene his demand would decrease and he could ease back into the limelight, but it appeared that the limelight had been eagerly awaiting his return. Music had a pretty basic year without his unapologetically himself sound in the mix of it all. Fashion was the same, there wasn’t someone out there who was both daring and confident enough to pull anything off. While he still didn’t have too much film under his belt, people were always trying to sign him onto their projects and well, you had seen a film or two that he’d turned down and you could picture just how much better the film would’ve been if he had accepted. 

Harry had started his hiatus on the 6 month of your second pregnancy. You had a 1 year old who you couldn’t manage alone from there on out. But as he neared month 10 of his hiatus he was so fucking restless and antsy that it was driving you insane. Yes, he was still very hands-on and helpful with the kids, but he was clearly distracted and you could tell that he was struggling to not go back to work. You didn’t want him to feel like he couldn’t do both things, that was the point of the hiatus to help him transition into being a father of two, to help him figure out how to balance everything. So you talked about it and just a few weeks later he was back in the studio with his usual crew and had put an album together in a little less than three months. He’d be gone for days sometimes, you were used to that from before, but it was a little different this time because when he came back It wasn’t like you just locked yourselves away to make up for lost time like before. No, now when he came back it was to baby barf, poopy diapers, crying, mischievous 2 year old, and an exhausted you- there wasn’t time for them and it did create some distance. All of this to say that you and Harry hadn’t had sex in 6 months, maybe a little longer. So, feeling his hard-on rocking against your bum was unexpected. And while you would normally be thrilled, this was alone time, this was your 15 minutes of peace and the fact that he was taking that away from you was a bit disappointing.

“What are you doing?” You mumbled tiredly, “Shouldn’t you be off to work out?” You grumbled.

“What are you talking about?” he smiled, you could hear it in his voice as he responded.

“The kids’ll be up in like 10 minutes and I just need these couple of minutes to have a proper power nap, H.” you grumbled and he chuckled as he pressed a kiss to your shoulder.

“Baby, no kids today. They’re at your parents’ remember?” He asked lowly as he peeled the thin strap of your pajama top off of your shoulder and continued sponging kisses up and down from your shoulder to the base of your neck. Your eyes fluttered open as you recalled that yes, indeed there were no kids around today. You two had gone out the night before. Nothing crazy, Just dinner and a little underground indie show in Hollywood. Your parents agreed to have the kids until you guys came over for dinner the following day.

“Right.” You hummed, your mood changing almost immediately. He even felt your body relax more in his arms and he smiled.

“So?” He whispered near your ear suggestively, “Does my wife want t’fuck?” He asked as one of his hands slid down your center and rubbed your clit through your shorts. You whimpered softy as you got more and more aroused.

In moments Harry had you on your back and naked as he kissed up your thighs. He hadn’t gone down on you since…well you couldn’t remember, but it was at some point early on in your pregnancy. So feeling his hot breath fanning over you as he held your legs open was the ultimate form of foreplay. You were basically going to be done for when he licked your clit. And boy, he did not disappoint as his tongue and fingers played with all of your most sensitive spots. His fingers were curled deep inside of you, pulsing against your g-spot as his tongue flicked deliciously at your clit, you were seeing spots as your mouth parted in a silent cry. You were so close! You exhaled shakily and then pulled a pillow over your face as you felt your orgasm approaching.

Harry was pulling out all of the stops to make you feel good and he was frustrated that you weren’t responding how you usually would, but when he spared a glance up and saw you holding a pillow over your face it dawned on him that you forgot that you could be loud right now. He smiled and pulled his mouth away from your center and your high started to fizzle out and you removed the pillow to look down at him already glancing up at you from between your legs.

“No kids.” Harry reminded and you gigged quietly.

“Right. No kids.” You hummed happily as he started fucking you faster with his fingers.

“So I want to hear you, baby.” He urged, “Can you do that f’me, baby?” Harry asked and you nodded. As soon as he got your confirmation he got back to using his mouth on you and you let out a satisfied moan.

“Yes. Mmmfuck, that feels so good…” You sighed in pleasure as you heard the slurping and wet sounds of his mouth and fingers working up your orgasm quickly again. “Ohmygod, ohmygod!” Your slurred your words together as you felt the muscles in your stomach start to tense. You could feel your walls throbbing around his fingers and he groaned against your pussy as he felt it too, you were so close for him. He hadn’t made you come in ages and he just wanted to make you feel good again. Like he used to. “I-I’m coming!” You mewled as your back arched and hips bucked up as you planted your feet on the mattress. Harry moaned as he fucked your g-spot more intentionally as your cries got louder and louder and before he knew it you were very softly squirting into the palm of his hand. He was doing his best to follow the movement of your hips to ensure that he saw your orgasm through all the way and boy, did he. He didn’t even mean to make you come twice, but after removing his fingers from you he just use his mouth to clean you up a bit and ease you off of the intensity of your orgasm, but soon he was holding your thighs apart as they threatened to lock around his head and suffocate him against your swollen and messy pussy as you came for him once more.

You felt like your throat and chest were on fire as you struggled to breathe properly as the pleasure from your orgasm rippled through your body beautifully. The feeling giving you that little spark of energy you had been missing for a while now. Soon that feeling started becoming a bit much and you whimpered as you pushed Harry’s head away and he quickly pulled off of your clit and kissed your inner thighs, then your mons, then your lower stomach, and up your torso, sternum, neck and then jaw, and finally he was hovering over your lips wearing a victorious smile before he kissed you deeply for a few moments.

“God, I forgot how good you are at that.” You panted and he smirked, but that soon faded. “What?” You asked with concern.

“You shouldn’t forget how good it feels. I’m sorry.” He said lowly and you shook your head.

“Oh baby, it’s not your fault. Things are just different now.” You said and that didn’t seem to make him feel better.

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean that we should neglect ourselves.” He said and you sighed.

“Well H, I don’t think we’re neglecting ourselves. I think we just indulge in different things now. Like my 15 minutes of undisturbed sleep after you leave and before the kids wake up.” You explained, “I don’t even know how many times I’ve caught you dozed off in your office…we've got other things going on now so we just need different things than before.” You reasoned, “And that doesn’t mean we don’t need these kinds of things, we just need other things more now.” You concluded.

“I get that but… I should appreciate you more and everything that you do.” He said quietly, “I need to do more to remind you that I love you and that I’m still interested in you in that way, you know? Make you feel like my girl, not just like my wife and mother of my children.” He said and you smiled.

“You’re sweet.” You hummed at his words.

“I’m serious. Baby, I’m still in love with you, I mean how could I not be?” He said and you blushed under his intense gaze and his beautiful words, “You’re absolute perfection. You know that? You look after me, you support me, you love me. You’ve made my dream life a reality. You gave me the two most beautiful babies planet earth has ever seen. You mean everything to me and I don’t want to make elaborate schemes like this just to show you that. I'm going to make an effort to show you every day,” He said and you cupped his face in your hands and kissed his lips.

“I don’t doubt you. Ever, H. I said yes to you. To us. To everything we could grow to be. I knew things would change and boy, have they changed.” You chuckled and he smiled and nodded, “Granted, we could both do a bit more to show each other our appreciation. But I just want you to know that I am still happy.” You assured him and he smiled, “I love you.”

“I love you.” He hummed happily, “Now, are you up for some sex?” He grinned.

“I never thought you'd ask!” you exclaimed and he chuckled. 

Everything was sweet and giggly, much like it had been before. Your intimacy was so special and as out of touch as you may have felt with each other, seconds before he slipped inside of you, your eyes met and an unspoken message was shared between them. It suddenly felt like no time had passed between you two at all, there wasn’t any time lost. There were no missed opportunities. You just led a different life now, but the overpowering love you had for each other still simmered beneath the surface of everything. Maybe it wasn’t expressed like this as often as it used to be, but it was certainly what fueled the fire of your marriage. It’s what kept you going and trying. It was the hearth of your relationship as soulmates. You smiled and nodded and he surged his hips forward and sunk inside of you.

“Oh fuuuck.” Harry moaned lowly and you just whimpered as he sank in as deep as he could go. It had been too fucking long, Harry was hoping he could last at least last 10 minutes and that was proving difficult as your walls adjusted to his intrusion. So soft and warm and snug around him. He exhaled sharply through his nose as his throat bobbed as he swallowed thickly. He knew what he needed to do to last a bit longer. He reached to the side of your head and dragged a pillow down. Without drawing out of you, he managed to raise your hips a bit as he knelt up and slid the pillow under. Your heart started pounding in nerves and excitement as he brought his body over yours again and kissed you.

“Baby, what you’re doing is dangerous.” You warned with a nervous chuckle and he shrugged.

“So?” He smirked.

“Baby, we said two. Only two.”

“I know.” He assured as he ground his hips into yours and your body tensed and his smirk only intensified as he watched the effect his body had on yours.

There was nothing wrong with this sex position - the coital alignment. In fact, it was perfect. Imagine getting stimulated in the deepest most delicious part of you all while your clit is being rubbed in perfect time to the internal movements. It was perfection, it was bliss, heaven on earth. But every time you’d had sex like this you’d ended up pregnant and when Harry even thought about trying for a baby it unleashed a part of him that made you desperate for him. For more of him, those times were so good that you were begging him to get you pregnant and well…wish came true. Both times. So yes, you were a bit wary of this position and what it could mean for you. As much as you loved your little girls, pregnancy was more lows than highs for you. So after your second little girl came you had both agreed that two was it. Harry was supposed to have a vasectomy, but he went back to work early and just continued to put it off, which didn’t matter before, seeing as you weren’t having sex, but now you were having sex and he was Fertile. With a capital F because each time he had successfully gotten you pregnant during your first attempts and that was scary.

“My period ended last week. If I get pregnant from this I’m gonna-”

“I’ll run out and get you a plan B later.” He assured and you let your head fall back onto your pillow as you laughed, “I promise, baby.” He assured and you sighed.

“OK.” You agreed and he grinned as he started to grind his hips into yours again. Your clit had already been sensitive from him going down on you so this stimulation had your stomach tightening up and your breath hitching in absolutely no time. His cock was rubbing and gently prodding at that spot that was making your vision blur with tears of pleasure. Suddenly you gasped as you felt your right boob start to ache. Fucking shit, it was past feeding time you thought to yourself. Harry was quick to notice the change of expression on your face.

“Am I hurting you?” He asked as he slowed down and you shook your head.

“No, baby. It’s just I’ve usually fed Daisy by now so I’m sore.” You explained and he nodded in understanding. He looked down at your breasts and saw that the right one was looking more firm and swollen than the other. The skin was quite taut as he could slightly see your veins under your skin, “I just need to pump for a bit and then we can keep-what’re you doing?!” You asked in shock as he leaned down to your breast.

“Helping.” He said simply as he very gently licked over your nipple and you whimpered pathetically at the feeling of having it touched erotically for the first time in what felt like a lifetime. He then started to speed up the movement of his hips, rocking deep into you and you moaned loudly. When you felt the first suck of him against your nipple your nearly orgasmed, it pushed you so fucking close. Harry could feel your walls suffocating his cock and maybe he wasn’t going to last as long as he was hoping. He was grinding his cock into you, pubic bone rubbing your clit over and over, while his mouth was latched around your areola as he sucked the milk out of your completely swollen breast and it was driving him insane. You too apparently and he loved that. He swallowed down what was in his mouth before he kissed you hard, “Better?” He asked and you nodded, “Do you want me to do it again?” He asked through his bated breathing, “S’it gonna make my girl come?” He asked.

“Yes, fuck! Pleasepleaseplease!” You whined out and he groaned as he sucked your nipple into his mouth again while your fingers pulled hard at his hair. His balls were so full and achey, much like your breasts, and he had so much of his own creamy load of sperm to give you. Your skin was covered in goosebumps as your legs trembled around his narrow hips and your toes curled as your orgasm started to come over you. “Fuck Harry, don’t stop! I’m gonna come!” You cried out loudly and he pulled off of your boob and hovered his face over yours, his eyes were dark and your breast milk was dripping from the corner of his mouth and he had never looked hotter than he did at this moment.

“Just give me a second.” He said and you whined and closed your eyes, “Nu-uh, look at me, baby. Look at me while I make you cum.” He grunted his demand. The depth of his voice felt like it rumble through your body and you swore your eyes crossed as your orgasm just exploded through your body. You gasped and wailed, you were squirting again and a tidal wave of tingles and warmth washed through your entire body. Your ears were ringing and your blurry eyes focused on Harry’s eyes. His eye brows were creased low and he was grunting, you could barely hear it over the ringing of your ears, but soon he was lowering his face to yours and you just hugged him tight to your body as he started to shoot his load deep inside of you with long drawn out moans of satisfaction. He slowly rode you both through the full experience, making sure that he milked every ounce of pleasure out of the experience for you both.

Several minutes passed without you moving from the position you were in. Your bodies were hot and sticky. Plus yours was sore, you hadn’t done this much cardio or physical activity in a while. Your fingers gently scratched along Harry’s head as you relished in the silence and comfort of being alone with each other. You were tingling all over and riding such a high that you had even forgotten about your tender breast until some of it started to trickle out and Harry raised his head from your chest to see you literally leaking out in little streaks and he started to laugh.

“What?” You asked and then saw the little stream coming out of your breast and you groaned, “So embarrassing.”

“Your body is amazing. The fact you can even do that is incredible…Anyway, I’ll get the pump.” He said and pulled out of you far sooner than either of you wanted and headed around to your bedside table and handed you the pumps from the drawer. You set them up and just rested against the headboard with a tired sigh as your eyes fluttered closed as you let the machines do their thing. Then you felt the warmth of Harry nearby and he kissed you on the forehead, the tip of the nose, and then the lips, you were already smiling by then and so was he. “Thank you, baby.” he whispered against your mouth.

“For what?” You asked as you blinked your eyes open and Harry smiled at you.

“For choosing me to have all of this with.” He said and you sighed as your eyes welled up with tears and he cooed a gentle “don’t cry, baby” to you as he wiped the tears away from under your eyes.

“They're tears of joy. I promise.” You swallowed thickly and he smiled and leaned in to kiss you again, “I wouldn’t want this with anyone else. I love you.” You whispered in between kisses.

“I love you most.” Harry hummed.

----Tag List ----

@justlemmeadoreyou @daphnesutton @angelbabyyy99 @reveriehs @cherrysulewski @jessitpwk @gurugirl @sunflovverharry @sunshinemoonsposts @ottawaoutlander @permanentllyharry @here4thefanfics

[tracybirds]

30 gentle prompts:

30: "You know I love you, right?"

Dealer’s Choice of characters

Thank you! I don't know what this is, just little musings really, but I hope you enjoy all the same <33

Scott

The uncertainty is wrapped up in old grief and exhaustion, in Scott grabbing the nearest hand, hazy and half lost in memories of all the times he didn’t say it.

“You know I love you, right?”

His brother, his grandmother, his confidant, his friend; whomever is with him feels the intensity of those words, a breath of lucidity between painkillers.

He regrets not saying it enough, he wishes he remembered to say it when life was easy.

A squeeze of his hand, a whisper, a sad hum tells him in return.

We know.

Virgil

He hates the arguments, he always has, but he won’t avoid them, not when his family tries and tries and tries again to leap ahead.

He just wants them to rest, he wants them to heal, he doesn’t want to fight.

Please, he begs them to care, begs them to see the way they all hurt each other when they won’t stop.

He pushes them back down firmly, willing them to hear his words.

“You know I love you, right?”

Willing them to trust him.

Pleading silently, until a glare softens, shoulders slumps, and they find peace once more, another battle fought and won.

Thank you, he whispers. Stay.

I love you.

John

The guilt twinges at him, plucks at his insecurities, the only words he’s ever found himself tongue-tied over.

There’s too much feeling to be contained in four measly letters, too much that John can’t say. He’s always prided himself on finding the right words, and his insides squirm whenever his family say it to him.

It’s so casual, so light on their tongues, with their cheery waves and smiles as they sign off.

Years of thinking and doing and loving, just trying to find a way to thank them and support them and care for them.

But there’s no other way to say it.

“You know I love you right?”

No-one blinks in surprise, no-one asks for more detail he can’t give, and he reads their own silent message and tries to weave it into the fibre of his being.

Love you too.

Gordon

“You know I love you right?”

The words burst out of him, and he feels endlessly foolish in their wake. There’s no doubt, there’s never doubt.

He knows he has an impulsive streak, remembers the endless despair from those around him when he dove into hot water over and over, asking him to think.

He always thought ahead, that’s something he learnt quick, but his mind would be stuck on what needed to be done, heedless of the consequences.

He can’t bring himself to be sorry, not when people live and breathe because his actions, but there’s always an apology on his lips as he leaps forward, an apology in the form of love.

If he has any last words, he’ll make sure they always tell how he loved.

Alan

He doesn’t know if she knew and it eats away at him in the dead of the night. He holds a baby for the first time on a rescue and wonders at this selfish, helpless creature. He knows she loved him, he’s heard it a thousand times, but he can’t talk about the way he loves her, a mere image that he’ll never know.

He doesn’t know.

He needs them to know.

He’ll crawl into a bed after midnight, slide into a seat at dinner, play and laugh and tease and even so, a doubt that’s lived and grown for as long as she didn’t will creep in.

“You know I love you right?”

He asks his family, he asks his friends, he asks the sand on the beach and the stars in the sky.

He’s the youngest and he has to take it all on faith.

I know.

[prompts are here - feel free to send one in :)]

[cheshire-silent-cat]

Wild Flower Pt 3

Neteyam x fem!na’vi reader

Pairing: neteyam x y/n

Warning: you are fine, however if you decide to follow this series ⚠️ minors dni ⚠️ viewers digression is advised.

****************************************************

Getting home he shared the news with his brother and mother at seperate times, his mother just happy to live a peaceful life with her family looked forward to meeting you, Lo’ak on the other hand teased his brother without mercy asking for tips to get tsireya to notice him “wel baby brother the trick is to simply be me” they both laughed, “let’s hurry up I’m meeting her by the beach soon” Lo’ak made kissing noises as he watched his older brother jog off into the distance, he reached the beach upon his arrival he was met with aonung, rotxo and a group of other males leaving the beach giggling.

neteyam waited a while and in a not so far distance he say a hand frantically waving, your skin tone far to unique not to be recognised, he figured that it was not sign language so he dove into the water swimming to you, you signalled to him that a pile of rocks had your leg trapped preventing you from swimming up to get air, exhausted by all your struggling your body began slowing down, seeing this neteyam rushed to help struggling to lift all the rocks that caged your ankle, after a short while neteyam was able to easily move these rocks and your drag you up to the surface “what happened” “anunong and his friends” you panted trying to make sense of your words, reaching the beach you fell on your knees “y/n!!” You observed the back of your left leg where you felt so much pain, you reached a point with a distinct bite mark and spoke slowly, “pitcher fish, must have gotten its venom in me while I was fighting to get…away…from the-“ unable to finish your last word your passed out, neteyam quickly picked you up and took you to the tsahik where the olo’eyktan stood by her, as well as anunong and tsireya and even his father “y/n!!” Ronal said walking to her quickly “what happened” toniwari asked concerned for his niece, assisting in laying you down on the healing mat “why don’t you ask this txìm (ass)” neteyam spoke as he moved forward to anunong inches away from him, “me, what did I-“ “because of your sick joke she got bit by a pincher fish” every word spoken in an enraged tone “that wasn’t supposed to happen we intended to keep her there only till the earthly dusk” anonung shaken up by this new found fear he saw within neteyam’s eyes, “there wasn’t supposed to be a plan in the first place” a snarl followed every word he spoke as he pressed his middle finger against the chest of anunong, “neteyam, that’s enough” Jake said almost unable to hide his pride for his son. “She is weak, we need to monitor her this night to ensure nothing goes wrong only eywa can give her the strength to overcome this” ronal said massaging your leg to ensure she has gotten all the venom out “you can’t do that in your condition” tonowari protested, helping his wife back up to her feet “I’ll do it I created this mes-” anunong said but interrupted by neteyam “you have done enough” he moved towards you and knelt beside you, “sun of sully my orders were clear you were to stay away from-“ tonowari began but was interrupted by ronal who placed a hand upon his chest and spoke “Fwäkì ke fwefwi nìpxi mì+ txele -yä tìyawn” (Mantis doesn’t whistle, don’t expect someone to do something that isn’t in their inherent nature especially in matters of love). Tonowari softened as the sight of neteyam concentrating on only you. “Fine, I’ll leave them to the protection of the great mother.

And with that the royal family left the healing pod, Jake sat beside his son placing his hand on his shoulder “that was badass” the strange compliment earned a laugh from the two men “you should have since anunong from my angle the guy looked like he was gonna piss himself” the laughter went on “I’m proud of you son” “thank you father” “no I mean it, look I don’t know where this thing you have going on here will lead but today you found something worth fighting for and you fought, you didn’t back down, you will make a great warrior” “thank you father” “if you need anything you can stop at the hut to get me, and before I forget, that’s the girl who saved your life before so I approve” neteyam smiled as he watched his father leave him, that night neteyam spent it kissing your fingers and telling you stories, he would shake at every turn and every movement you made in your sleep, fighting off the feeling of drowsiness the best he could.

The next morning ronal walked into the healing pod to find you sitting up awake and confused but neteyam hands wrapped around your waist asleep on your thighs, “I see you ronal” “I see you y/n, we thank eywa for your health” following her was anunong who apologised to you, and then he apologised to neteyam, still on your thigh neteyam rolled he body to face away from anunong “skxawng” you pinched him and he immediately jumped to an upright sitting position shaking away his sudden childish before he reached out his hand and shook anunong’s in a new found respect for one another.

Since the olo’eyktan had removed his restraint on your relationship with neteyam, you seemed to always be in his arms when you both weren’t working either he was holding your hand , or had his hand around your waist, or his tail wrapped around your leg, he seemed to love physical contact. But what he loved even more than that was the privilege he had to parade you as his, your scent constantly mixed with his, due to your previous illness the community was mostly stagnant with its feeding portions being decreased and the herbs not being delivered to the healers. When you did return, the community began to truly see the importance of you to the clan, and because of this some people treated you better but not all, they warmed up to the sully’s much better but it wasn’t enough for neteyam, several males shamelessly tried courting you and it pissed neteyam off, some did it in his presence but neteyam was always able to keep his feelings of jealousy under control. He couldn’t be mated with you until he fulfilled all the requirements according to the metkayina laws in order to pay respects to the culture of his new clan he must get the blessings of both the tsahik and the olo’eyktan, as well as build a pod to raise a family in, as a warrior in training he must become a full fledged warrior and with that he will be able to court you and mate with you as he would be marrying into royalty there will be a tìmuntxa ftxozä (marriage celebration). Neteyam especially hated how you were right overworked and he tried his hardest to provide you with breaks or moments to relax.

Laying on the floor of the cave staring at the blooming flowers that brightened up the already lit up cave, you raised your finger poking the petal softly, then tucking your chin into the folds of your arm you watched the flowers with adoration, “teyam aren’t they beautiful” “they are, but I’m more interested in you” you giggled and rolled your eyes landing at the back of the cave that seemed to be dim, you crawled over quickly to check what had happened, and when you did you froze up, to you the site was horrifying, there it laid a dead flower, brown and cold while the others had a glow that radiated heat but the flower could easily be dissolved in heated water, your lips quivered as you slowly picked up the flower holding it against your chest, tears stinging your eyes you looked at your boyfriend with a shaky voice you said “what do I do???” The scene crushed neteyam’s heart and confused him a bit, you rode a predator, slept in a cave,you were fierce but you get upset over a flower why where they do special, these were thoughts that crossed his mind but he did not dare start pondering on them, you needed him and he wanted to be you, “let’s bury it here so it can return to eywa, your softened expression looking at neteyam, in the state you were in you reminded him of tuk, he dug up the soil and you buried the follower using your hands to sweep the already dug out hider back into the whole. He pulled your head to his chest and you nuzzle your body into his, your height difference adding comfort to the moment he rested his head on your, thinking of ways to make you feel better, then he had an idea.

Dragging you by the hand down the beach like a toddler as you moped, head bowed, walking lazily behind him. You both reached a sudden stop and your head shot up in fright as you to the cries of his ikran, you jumped behind him peeking your head over his broad shoulders, a habit you had developed over the course of your relationship when’re he introduced you to new things like tricks from the forest that you found fascinating. He guided your hand slowly touching the face of the creature, he then made the bond and mounted the creature, offering a hand to you, hesistant you took his hand, he pulled you unto the ikran, your small frame sitting infront of him, his large muscular arms caging you to the creature. The ikran took off your eyes slowly opening to the sight, excited by the view you screamed, neteyam trying to impress you, attempted hoops and flips and although most were successful he concluded that it would be best if he did not do any tricks, just to keep you safe. The view was marvellous and you could not get enough, I mean you were actually flying over your village you could see everything, the glitter on the sea, the smoothness of the sand, the beauty of your village and all the animals your people coexisted with, you stretched your hand out attempting to catch the clouds rendering your hand wet, you looked ahead, in the direction of the sun, it seemed so reachable, you closed your eye’s, inhaling the calming air around you. The ikran landed and your boyfriend jumping down from the creature, grabbed you by the waste, helping you to come down as well.

For the next few days both you and neteyam were exhausted, warrior training for your boyfriend was becoming brutal by the day and as for you, the harvest celebration was coming up and a larger number of your people wanted beaded tops and jewellery, this was a celebration common for the females finding “the one”, you were glad that this year you could spend it with neteyam. The previous years were never as kind, not only would men court you for the purpose of sex alone, women made an effort to stay away, you didn’t want to embarrass your family by standing next to them so you were always alone, standing at the corner for the whole event. Your chores might have been hard but you were certain that you loved neteyam you missed spending special moments with him, these days spending time with him is more of a napping date Than anything else. Laying on your hip as you laid on your mat.

[idiotwithanipad]

Some angst/ fluff because I'm in terrible pain and I don't wanna go through it alone😂

(TW: Mentions of child being slapped, Incestuous relationship mentioned (I'm so sorry but that's just the canon, I'm sorry🫥 confirmed in s2Xe4 and s3Xe5)

The journey had been long, taxing. Shul and Rogh had found what they'd been sent to look for, from four days out of the scrublands looking for a new home. Since the tribe needed to make a hasty retreat when their former cave was overrun by lions, many were lost in the freezing weather. They traveled for days, carrying anything they could until they'd come across peaceful land. Yet, it was a land with no protection against the cold, no cave. Some succumbed to hypothermia, others broke bones in the deep snow and others simply refused to eat or drink over the loss of their friends and family. It was an ugly time.

They had located more of a bunker than a cave; a hollowed out chalk pit beneath a cliff wall. Over the four days away from the rest of the tribe, Rogh and Shul had scouted the area and could see and smell no signs of threat, be it animal or rival tribe. Seeing that their situation was becoming desperate by the day, they decided to dig the bunker deeper, burrowing underneath the chalk cliff, a makeshift underground cave.

Their days of toil and anxiety were long and tedious, but, like all creatures, they couldn't beat the need to rest for a while. Shul built a fire from whatever dry wood they had left and pulled out scraps of meat from his leather satchel draped over his back. They rationed out each crudely cut chunk of meat between each other and held them over the flames to cook them. Shul's sunken in eyes scanned about their new 'cave', a clear sense of pride beaming from his crooked grin. With a wheezy chuckle, he thrusted the back of his wrist joyfully into Rogh's shoulder, expecting him to share the enthusiasm. Only to find an exhausted, concerned and sullen face above the flames, staring down into them like all of this meant nothing at all.

The grin on Shul's face melted away like an icicle in the summer sun, and he shuffled slightly to face his forlorn brother. He spoke in their ancient tongue, aided by hand gestures and body language.

"What wrong? Your face like stone. You okay?"

Rogh's eyes left the fire momentarily and flicked over to Shul. His lower eyelids twitched for a moment before he looked as though he were about to respond, but he cut himself off with a silence sigh and stoked the fire with the end of his spear. Rogh was never this quiet after a good days work; he'd usually be the life of the party, cheering to everyone and looking for the nearest puddle to start the 'party' off with a bang. Shul huffed and gripped Rogh's wrist, pulling it back away from the fire and staring right at him; eye contact always broke Rogh, it was how many members of the tribe got him to confess things, good or bad.

Rogh pulled his wrist out of his brother's hand gently and leaned back against the chalk wall. Without looking at Shul, he gestured.

"Riva big sick. She have baby soon. She get big" Rogh gestured to Shul, an invisible mound at the bottom of his gut, pantomiming a pregnant woman.

"Can't walk good. Out of breath big fast. Me worried..." Rogh gave a dry blink and let his arms slump down to his sides.

Shul's eyes flicked back towards the fire briefly before his hand came up to pat against Rogh's pelted shoulder reasuringly.

"Our sister big willed. She have big spirit. Moonah see to that she and baby safe" Shul said as he forced a reassuring grin.

"She not as big willed when we leave tribe to find new home... Could tell...."

The tribe handed out pelts and scraps of food to each other to share. Children and babies huddled beneath the biggest furs and mammoth wool rugs, women and elders trying to create a fire to protect themselves from animals while the men stood guard around them like soldiers pointing their spears at every twig that snapped in the distance and every time a bird flapped from a high tree branch above.

Rogh handed his club to his nephew, huddled between other children he knew well enough to call his own. The boys speckled blue eyes lit up as though he'd been given a rare and sacred gift.

"You keep for uncle Rogh, you make whack big hard, kill even a deer with that" Rogh gave a wink and a soft huff as he rose back to his feet from where he crouched in front of the boy, who's friends and cousins were now gazing at the club like it was a holy grail.

There was one more person he needed to see before he and his older brother, Shul, went on their search for a new home for the tribe. Rogh made his way over to a nearby pine tree and crouched in front a very pregnant, barely conscious woman, slumped against the winding roots. Her face was strained and her eyes were squeezed tightly shut. Whistling and wheezing echoed in each breath she took.

Rogh's knuckles prodded softly against her burning hot cheek, and her eyes cracked open slightly.

"We leave for search now. How you feel?" Rogh almost didn't want to know the answer, he felt as though he could feel it within himself just by looking at her.

The woman drew in a sharp breath and righted herself against the tree.

"Will be okay. Me the girl who survived father giving me big slap with stick after me drink a palm full of puddle water as child. Me survive this too" She seemed to have intended that statement to be humorous, but instead of his sister's usual stoic attitude, what came out was a broken and shrill whimper.

Rogh couldn't smile, even though he wanted to; the condition his sister was in made his hope burn away like a dry leaf in the fire. She recoiled again, letting out a strained groan of discomfort and clasping her hand on her bulbous stomach. Rogh's gaze shifted to where his sister's hand was clamped, and, almost out of instinct, he reached out his own hand, placing it beside her's. For a brief second, Rogh felt something. Something small, but strong. It prodded against his palm for a few seconds and then did it again.

His eyes widened in a mixture of confusion and horror as he reeled his hand away and stuttered out some incomprehensible nonsense. Riva picked up a fistful of snow and hurled it at him to shut him up.

"Big idiot! Mother tell me that normal, only baby. Mean baby be born soon. Hurry and find new cave so baby will be warm when born" His sister's tone was serious, the glare under her heavy brow was all Rogh needed to know that she meant business.

Rogh calmed his rapid breathing and dusted off the slightly melted snow against his furs, crouching down in front of Riva again. He gave a single nod and pressed his knuckles to her forehead. Her rock solid face cracked and gave way to a gentle smile. Her own knuckles came up and bumped against Rogh's brow, just as Shul approached and huffed down at her. She gave him a nod of approval and lowered her hand.

Rogh looked over at his older brother, who tossed a spear to him. Catching it in his hand, he rose to his feet and gave his sister a determined nod. The two men strode away from the tribe with promises of a new home being found before the next full Moonah.

[theheightofdishonor]

I'm gonna take the leap and finally talk about only friends on here. There's only one episode left so I think it's a good time to just write about it

Top and Mew

I won't lie, these two are probably the most boring pair to me and from the little i have perused through the tags, it seems like it's the same for a lot of people? But I do appreciate them. I think the lack of chemistry between them is 100% intentional. We know Force and Book can pull off chemistry. And on top of that, this crew is wonderful in bringing out the best from its cast so the fact that Mew and Top feel like they're missing something, that's on purpose. I think @shortpplfedup has mentioned a couple times about how Top and Mew's relationship is wrapped up in ego and image and how it warps their perception and expectations from each other and I agree! Even when they're vulnerable with each other, there's a guard there because they're unable to not be playing this game they've got going on with each other. And this tracks into ep 11 because the only reason Mew agrees to forgive Top is because Top threatens to walk away for good (because he can't handle the idea of being the loser in this relationship forever) and Mew can't have that because that would make him the loser permanently. I've been referring to their situation as 'gone girl-ing' irl because they're that couple who don't really like each other? but they're still never going to leave because they know they're well matched and would be more miserable with someone else and also leaving would mean admitting that they've made a bad choice so they stay together but they also kind of enjoy this mutual toxicity? Like Mew is 100% going to run to his friends again complaining about Top and then when they suggest breaking up, be like 'well, I should but" until it gets exhausting for everyone involved.

I know tons of people like this in real life. And they're not my favourite but i've made peace with it. That being said, I still don't quite understand what the team's intention is with Top because he really is very neglected in this cast. We know nearly nothing about him and the things we do know never get looked at. Again, I do think this is intentional and Force is doing a phenomenal job with the character but I just don't get what they're leading to. I won't make a solid judgement on this though til the finale airs so moving on

Nick and Boston.

My favorite pair and favorite characters? Yeah they are. Nick, my adorable little psychopath, we've had our ups and downs and I was skeptical if you'd ever stop being embarrassing but you did and I am so proud of my absolute favorite boy. He's accepted his own toxicity, taken a good hard look at himself and his feelings for Boston and he is on top of everything. When he's telling Ton in the club to not look at other men, there's (to me at least) no hint of that worry or insecurity from the first couple episodes. And Boston's reaction too was more of a guy who's heard his partner complain about the same thing a million times instead of taking it as a sign of Nick's clinginess. It felt like echoes of an old, worn 'argument' that's just rote. And then in the conversation where Boston offers a short term committed relationship? He doesn't just jump into and instead thinks about whether it's something he really wants and what it means for him and what it means for them. Not to mention how well he was able to establish expectations with Daddy Dan about their relationship. There's still time for him to backflip next week but for now, baby boy is winning.

And Boston! I think his character arc so far has been very well done. He's not had a complete personality makeover but he's changed too and has made adjustments to the way he looks at things. The entire conversation about a committed relationship with Nick was everything. It's such a huge step for him and you can feel it in just Neo's posture and his tone how much it means to him. I don't actually think I have the words to dissect him well and I think people far more eloquent than I have already done so so i'll just leave it at that.

Oh wait actually brief mention of the Atom-Ton thing because I don't know yet how I feel about Atom being let off so easily. On one hand, it feels true to where Boston is now that he doesn't want to pursue it too much, especially when he's leaving in a couple months and he's also had some revenge with Nick. On the other hand....I don't know. I guess i've shelving this til the last ep too.

One more thing, I've seen the idea that Nick and Ton haven't had enough screentime and I disagree, I think they've made a perfect amount of sense with the amount they've had. Would I complain about seeing more, of course not. But i'm not dissatisfied and their time's been used well and where their arc is at now, they don't need a lot either. Though from the preview, it seems like we will be getting a fair bit of them next week due to the Boston-Boeing storyline.

Sand and Ray.

If I had a firstkhao bias going into this show, it's definitely been worn down. I've more or less given up on Sand developing any sort of backbone or self-respect + the idea of Ray finally reciprocating and taking care of him. They're still cute though and I don't mind any longer that it's an imperfect relationship. That being said, it was so fun seeing Boeing come back to wreck them this episode. Sand's mom tells us that the way Sand is with Ray is just how he is with everyone he cares about but I don't think Ray understood that til we see Sand and Boeing in action. Sand is very clearly uncomfortable in Boeing's presence and yet! He says they can be friends, he asks about Boeing's job, he tells Ray to leave so they can talk in private, sweetheart this man CHEATED ON YOU?? And on top of all of this, he brushes away all of Ray's attempts to claim him in front of Boeing too. Talk about creating all your own problems.

I do want to muse for a bit on Sand saying that Boeing is exactly his type and how he doesn't deny it when Boeing says Ray is the opposite of that. I think they're actually more alike than they seem on the surface. Their mutual disregard for boundaries and willingness to exploit Sand's weaknesses are sure similar as is the need to be seen as special. Boeing turns nasty at the idea of Mew meaning more to Top than he did and a lot of what draws Ray to Sand is the way Sand treats him as something special (and he's not happy either when it's revealed that Sand's behavior towards him is something he gives everyone) On the other hand, Boeing is very put together and barely shows a hint of vulnerability whereas Ray wears his faults on his sleeves and is generally a mess. I haven't quite verbalized any conclusions about this yet but i'm mulling over it. We'll see if I have time to write something up later this week.

Now Ray. Ray's having the time of his life parading around as Sand's boyfriend until it all comes crashing down. They're having cute record shop dates, talking about their future, being domestic in front of elementary school kids, the whole nine yards and even when Sand is being so shifty bringing up Boeing, he's confident enough in where he stands that it doesn't faze him whatsoever. I love Ray but seeing his uncomfortable crawling realization that perhaps Boeing might pose a threat was everything I wanted. The confirmation about his threesome proposals being a front was unneeded but fun. I'm looking forward to seeing how he continues to react to Boeing next week. That little look they shared when First stepped into the water? I suspect these two are going to eat that man alive.

Boeing

Boeing is my darling little agent of chaos. He had his turn with TopMew, he's currently wrecking SandRay and from the looks of it, he's moving onto NickBoston next week. I adore that he's apparently the final boss for all our main couples. I think he's gonna lose 3 for 3 which i'm a little crestfallen about but it's a fun time. I'm enjoying the chaos. I do hope we get to see a little more about his motivations and personality next week though.

Cheum

The fandom's response to Cheum is so weird. First she's on this pedestal of being the perfect girl who can do no wrong amongst these dumb messy boys and now she's the worst of the worst. It's the messy gay show and she's being a messy gay. I've been waiting for her to do something properly awful. The show's not done yet so I do think her response to the Atom-Boston thing will get more screentime next week. Of course I'm not trying to gloss over how terrible her treatment of Boston was but I'm also not expecting her to suddenly grovel nor do I think she should because it's not something she feels sorry for! Her just apologizing for it and feeling bad would be glossing over the fact that these are genuinely things she's thought about Boston all along and that she was just using the opportunity Atom provided to say it. The fact that Boston didn't do what she thought he did doesn't matter to her. And that's what they should address. This storyline is still ongoing though so again, holding out judgement til the end.

Overall, I've loved following this show week to week. It's been messy, it's been dramatic and it's had a lot to say about promiscuity, friendship, relationships and fandom amongst like a dozen other things. Watching the show and fandom reactions to it have been eyeopening. Additionally, the performances have been excellent. Only Friends is proof of how a good director and environment can bring out the best in all its cast because I honestly can't pick who has given the best performance here since they've all just been that good. Even if this show somehow flops next episode, I won't even be that mad because it's been so good and enjoyable that it deserves a bit of leniency and i've enjoyed it all the way through.

[motherhoodandmarriage]

Why Sleep is Key to Better Relationships and a Happier Family

Sleep—we all need it, yet it’s often the first thing to go when we’re adjusting to life with a baby or young child. As a life and relationship coach, I’ve seen time and time again how improving sleep not only transforms the dynamics within a family but also revitalizes relationships. Understanding the biomechanics of sleep can help parents create healthier sleep habits for their children and themselves, leading to more peace and connection at home.

The Biomechanics of Sleep: How It Works

Sleep is a biological process that plays a vital role in physical and mental health for both children and adults. While it might seem straightforward, the way sleep works is far more complex—especially for young children. Here are some key insights into how sleep functions:

1. Sleep Cycles

Sleep happens in cycles. Adults typically move through sleep cycles that last between 60 to 90 minutes. Each cycle includes deep, restorative sleep and lighter REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep, which is when dreams occur. At the end of each cycle, adults briefly wake up—often without remembering it—before transitioning into the next sleep cycle.

For young children, these sleep cycles are shorter, lasting about 45 minutes. Because their brains are still learning to connect these cycles, it’s common for children to wake up more frequently. If a child is well-rested, it’s easier for them to transition seamlessly into the next cycle. However, when children are overtired, their brains struggle to connect these cycles, causing frequent wakeups.

2. Overtiredness Makes Sleep Harder

One of the biggest misconceptions about sleep is that exhaustion leads to better rest. For adults, being extremely tired might mean falling asleep quickly and sleeping deeply. However, the opposite is true for young children. When kids are overtired, their brains release cortisol and adrenaline—hormones that make it even harder to fall and stay asleep.

Signs of overtiredness in children can include:

Frequent night wakeups

Short naps (less than an hour)

Hyperactivity, especially at bedtime

Power struggles and meltdowns when it’s time to sleep

The key to breaking this cycle is ensuring children get enough sleep before they become overtired. An earlier bedtime, typically between 6 and 8 p.m., can make a significant difference in helping children rest well.

3. The Role of Developmental Sleep Needs

Sleep is a critical part of childhood development. The way a child sleeps in their early years can influence their lifelong sleep habits. Just as exposure to language and social skills in childhood shapes a person’s abilities as an adult, sleep works similarly. Research suggests that children who learn healthy sleep habits early on are more likely to be good sleepers as adults.

On the flip side, chronic sleep struggles in childhood can contribute to issues later in life, such as insomnia and difficulty maintaining a sleep routine. This is why prioritizing sleep during the formative years is so important.

The Ripple Effects of Poor Sleep on Families

When children struggle with sleep, the entire family feels it. Poor sleep can create a ripple effect, leading to:

Increased conflict: Late-night wakeups often result in arguments between exhausted parents.

Exhaustion and burnout: Lack of rest impacts emotional regulation, patience, and even physical intimacy.

Less connection: Spending hours trying to get a child to sleep leaves little time for partners to connect or engage in self-care.

On the other hand, when sleep improves, families often see a dramatic transformation. Parents reclaim quiet evenings, children wake up rested and happier, and conflicts over sleep decrease significantly.

Practical Tips for Improving Sleep

Improving sleep doesn’t have to feel overwhelming. Here are some practical steps to help your family establish healthier sleep habits:

Create a Consistent Sleep Environment:

Use blackout curtains to block light, especially in the summer months.

Use a sound machine to create white noise and minimize distractions.

Ensure all naps and nighttime sleep happen in the same environment (crib, bassinet, or bed).

Stick to an Early Bedtime:

Children’s brains are hardwired to wake up between 6 and 8 a.m., regardless of how late they go to bed.

An earlier bedtime—between 6 and 8 p.m.—helps prevent overtiredness and makes sleep more restorative.

Develop a Sleep Plan:

Sit down with your partner to discuss sleep goals and strategies.

Write down the plan to stay on the same page and track progress.

Record sleep patterns (times, duration, wakeups) to see what’s working and where adjustments are needed.

Know the Signs of Overtiredness:

Pay attention to hyperactivity, short naps, and bedtime resistance.

Adjust your routine to catch the “sleep wave” before overtiredness sets in.

Why Sleep Matters for Relationships

Sleep is about so much more than rest. It’s the foundation for everything else in family life. When children are well-rested, parents experience fewer arguments, more time to connect, and the ability to approach challenges with a clearer, calmer mindset. A consistent sleep plan creates harmony, not just for kids but for the entire household.

Ready for Personalized Support?

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by sleep struggles, there’s no shame in seeking help. Sleep consultants specialize in creating tailored plans to help your child (and your family) get the rest you deserve. Sleep is attainable for every family, and it’s never too late to start.

For more support, you can connect with my friend Alexa Lee, a certified child sleep consultant, at www.Alexaleasleep.net or via email at AlexaLee.sleep@yahoo.com. She offers compassionate, research-based guidance to help families create healthy sleep habits and reclaim their peace. You can also find our recent podcast recording on the topic on the Better Relationships After Baby Podcast.