#beast chuuya sobbing and killing himself over dazai's death

[zukkaoru]

the disparity in kudos between a skk fic and a fic for literally any other bsd characters/ship :/

[inner-dreamscape]

Chuuya…Chuuya was fucking happy, alright!?

That bandage wasting device was finally out of his life for good, that means no more high-blood pressure from being constantly angry. No more hearing his whining. No more being used in his fucking schemes because he’s a bastard like that. No more being called short and no more digs against his fashion sense and hat. It’s been over 6 months since Dazai’s death and goddammit Chuuya’s moved on!

So why is it, that after leaving Chuuya again (for good this time) that, that fucking mackerel is still causing him problems from beyond the grave? Chuuya’s paid his dues. He should be free from the curse that is Dazai and the misfortune he causes to people for fun.

So, Chuuya laughs.

He laughs and laughs and laughs.

He laughs until he can’t breathe and tears are rolling down his cheeks. Whether they’re from him unable to breathe properly or from the overwhelming grief and anger that punched his gut at the mention of Dazai needing him. He doesn’t know. Doesn’t really care. Dazai’s dead dammit and there’s no bringing him back. There’s no way Dazai has ever or will ever need Chuuya.

So he laughs at the ludicrously of it all.

“I’m being serious here, Nakahara-san!” The supposed Shinigami pleads. She’s flustered with his reaction, cheeks red and puffed out in annoyance.

“I’m sure you are. Though I can assure you, that annoyance doesn’t need me.” He says breathless, catching up after his laughing episode. “Besides, he’s dead. I’m alive. He’s no longer my problem. Nor my concern.” He holds up a gloved hand to cut off the protest the Shinigami no doubt wants to do. “I can’t help. I won’t help. Please excuse me.”

He steps around the girl, intent on heading back to his apartment. He’s thankful it’s in the evening and cold out. Not a lot of people to see him talking to thin air. No need to have people viewing him as crazy. Besides, he’s still holding out that the girl is an ability user trying to distract him. Why? He doesn’t know but he’s alert for a possible attack. Clever, to mention his… attachment to Dazai but he’s had weeks to prep himself to dismiss obvious taunts from enemies.

He’s had to deal with Dazai’s enemies coming after him after learning of his death. Distraught of not finishing him off themselves and a shot for retribution, they’ve all decided to take their revenge out on something that they still can; Chuuya. He spent the first 3 weeks beating off a shit ton of pests, working out his frustration and grief off on those foolish enough to go after him. by the middle of the second month, Dazai’s enemies stopped coming after him once they realized that Chuuya was a force not to be reckoned with. As much as he was pissed at Dazai for making so many enemies and forcing Chuuya to once again clean up his mess, he was somewhat grateful. It gave him something to do, something to focus all of his raging emotions on. Punching things out, he was able to sort out the left over thoughts and move on. 

But now… now someone was trying to take him back into all that mess, kicking and screaming and no. No he won’t do it. That part of his life was over and done with and he was not going to look back.

He heard “I’m sorry!” before he was stumbling.

The next thing that he knows, he is standing in the middle of the street. Gaze down, he doesn’t look at the Shinigami who appears next to him.

“You.” He starts. “You.” He says again and stops. He’s trying to get his thoughts in order, to form something, anything but they’re static. His gaze remains down.

“Nakahara-san, I-” The Shinigami tries, distraught.

“You…” Chuuya cuts the girl off. “…you pushed me.” Blue eyes finally lift to pin the black cloaked girl in place. They were hard and cold and murderous. “You pushed me…in front of a car.”

“I-I had no choice!” The girl exclaimed, hand gripping her robe tight and eyes slamming shut. “I’m so sorry Nakahara-san!”

In front of Chuuya laid his body, dead and bloody as the driver who hit him called for an ambulance. He could feel familiar rage rise up inside of him. The last time he’s felt a rage like this, he was in Corruption beating down a beast made from fog. His hands curled into fists and he had to hold himself back from beating the ever living (or is it dead?) shit out of the Shinigami.

“No choice?” Chuuya hisses, eyes narrowed and idly notices the driver shivering even more in the cold weather.

“I was ordered to do anything I have to just as long as I take you with me back to my master.” She squeaks.

“You know,” Chuuya starts, rage curiously absent in his tone, replaced by a tone the girl couldn’t identify. “I’ve never heard of a Shinigami dying, but I sure would love to test out that theory. Want to give death a try?”

The girl shrieks when Chuuya takes a step in her direction and she calls out a name Chuuya doesn’t recognize. Fire erupts around him and he’s sinking. In less than a second he’s consumed by flames and brought into darkness where he passes out to a haunting laughter.

—

Chuuya wakes up to something poking his cheek and a voice singing his name. he groans in despair.

“Chu-uu-ya~❤️”

“…fuck!”

“Perhaps later~”

In a testament of how familiar and the number of time’s Chuuya had to do this, his fist drives straight into Dazai’s stomach with perfect accuracy and force.

“Go to hell!” He growls, sitting up.

“Already here Chibi.” Dazai wheezes, arm curled around his stomach.

“I’m going to fucking kill you!” Chuuya seethes, getting to his feet.

“Already dead!” Dazai grins.

With a yell Chuuya aims a flying kick towards Dazai’s head, but having predicted this, he ducks out of the way. He proceeds to dodge every punch and kick his ex-partner throws his way, grin widening when this frustrates Chuuya even more. Chuuya’s aim becomes a little more wild when his vision goes blurry and he can’t see Dazai clearly anymore.

Tears.

There were tears in his eyes and he didn’t understand why? Frustration? Sadness? Happiness? Frustration that he couldn’t land another solid hit on Dazai? Sadness at how he lived without this for 6 months? Happiness that he could actually (finally) touch that damn bastard again, that he was really there? The tears broke free from his lashes to drip down his face.

No sooner had the first teardrop descended his face was he expertly pulled into a hug that didn’t allow him enough room to properly punch Dazai. He struggled to get out of the hold to no avail. He was trapped within his arms. Instead, he buried his face into Dazai’s shoulder where he savagely bit down into his flesh and tried his hardest to claw his nails through Dazai’s clothes to tear into his back. Blood filled Chuuya’s mouth but he refused to let go. He was crying in earnest now.

“I hate you, I hate you, I hate you-” Chuuya sobbed, fist weakly pounding any and every where they could reach.

“I know.” Dazai told him, letting the redhead hit him as much as he liked but kept him still within his arms.

[hellaintthatbad]

Bungou Stray Dogs Atsushi x Dazai

Dazai ran through the rain, the dark silhouettes of containers passed his eyes but he didn’t pay attention to them. He ran through the rain in the search of something, no someone, way more important than any of these containers could have been. And he was followed by another shadow, a man in a hat, scarf and suit, long red hair wet and stuck to his face, being too busy holding onto his hat than to push it away. Dazai’s brown hair however laid back, his speed and the howling wind of the port blew it away.

“Atsushi!”

Dazai’s desperate shout didn’t go far, the wind was too strong, the splatter of raindrops against metal too loud. His voice was raspy from already screaming for the boy for hours.

Dazai was in a bar with Chuuya as he got the call and never stopped since. Kyouka’s voice has trembled as she reported of Atsushi’s getaway. Her body has trembled too, probably, taking from the amount of times she let the phone fall down during the call, she was in no good state. Luckily she called Dazai first on not the police.

The bar had been on the other side of town but the man didn’t care about taking a car, the traffic would have just held them back. And he knew enough shortcuts to come to the port quite fast.

“Atsushi! Come out!”

The silence following his shout was cruel. It ripped his chest in half, churned his stomach and made his knees weak.

Then something new was to hear against the rain.

Something familiar.

Screams.

Screams of men in utter fear of pain and death.

Dazai has caused such screams himself before, of course he had, but they still hurt him. They hurt him because he knew the one causing them wasn’t doing so intentionally.

They rounded a few more corners and the man covered in bandages felt a mighty aura being created behind him.

“No, not this. He isn’t supposed to die. Chuuya, let me take care. Call a cab or whatever, just stay away from him for all our sakes!”

Chuuya just huffed and took the next turn to the right which led to a payphone. Dazai however just nodded to him and kept running straight towards the screams.

Even his bones were wet as the brown-haired got to the place of action. The big, black and white tiger stood above a shredded body, his claws lingered in the air, ready to tear again. Another man leaned over a woman, a useless try to protect her, she was already bled out. A lean figure, unable to identity due to the darkness, pressed their body into a corner to hide.

“Atsushi!”

Dazai halted behind the tiger in safe, yet intrusive distance.  The beast slowly turned his head. The cold, blue eyes fixated on him, scanned him, searching for movements of attacking. Then, careful not to leave any part of his body exposed, it turned and stood over his prey.

The tiger bared his teeth and got ready to jump at Dazai, its tail puffed up and the back hair stood up. Dazai also got ready, not to attack, but to dodge and still touch the animal. Who, being aggressive and disturbed while eating, interpreted this falsely and jumped at Dazai.

The next movements of both were so fast, the human could barely recognize them. Blink, and where a tiger and a man collided laid said man with a grey-haired boy in his arms, the boy still slightly conscious. Tears were falling down his face, he moved his hand to swipe them away but was too weak and it fell back to the ground.

“What did I do? Did I hurt anyone?”

The boy’s words came out raspy and broken, sobs shook his body slightly, his whole image was one of miserable.

“Sshhhh. Atsushi, it’s okay. They’re okay. You just scared them a bit. It’s okay, you’re okay now. I’m here.”

A woman’s sob dismantled his lie, a word ‘monster’ was able to identity and the panic in Atsushi’s eyes grew.

“Dazai, don’t let me turn. Please, don’t let me. I don’t wanna hurt more! I can’t hurt more! Please!”

His agitated state just let his body become more exhausted and unconsciousness neared.

“Don’t let me. Don’t let me go… Please, just hold me, don’t let me go… Hold me…”

             The next thing Atsushi sees is the light ceiling of the Agency’s infirmary, a blanket tugged up to his chin, his right hand warmer than the rest of him.  He turns his head to see Dazai sleeping in the chair next to his bed, holding his hand tightly. The younger squeezes the linked hand and causes the other to stir awake.

“Hey sleepyhead, you better? Akiko was already getting her hopes up.”

“Yeah, I’m okay. How long was I asleep?”

“Just a few hours. Are you hungry?”

“Not really, just still tir..”

The door interrupted him. Junichirou walked in, not even bothering to knock.

“Dazai, the Boss wants to talk to you. Don’t know why, seems important though. Oh, hey Atsushi, you better?”

“Yeah, he is, tell Fukuzawa I’m coming. Atsushi, are you okay with being alone for a few minutes? Try to sleep some more, your body is still exhausted. I’m coming back as fast as possible.”

The boy only nodded and Dazai left the room, wrinkling his forehead in concern.

“You know, he was here all the time while you slept, holding your hand and even refused to go and eat something. You must’ve scared the shit out of these people if he was so worried. I’ve never seen him staying here this long.”

Without even waiting for a response, Junichirou also left the room, so Atsushi just laid down again and thought about his words, falling back asleep without any struggle.

In his dream, he was yet again at the port and hovered above those people, but this time Dazai didn’t come to help him. He saw himself rip apart the bodies of innocent and didn’t have a say in it, he couldn’t control his body. The tiger fed on the flesh and when he was finished, he didn’t stop. He ran further towards the city, towards humans to kill. The first people he encountered were two guards and he killed both without even blinking.

The beast became stronger the more people it ate and by the time they reached the Agency, Atsushi was barely able to even think. His paws sprinted up the stairs and he barged into the bureau, instantly killing Naomi with the door. Next was Junichirou, he attacked as Naomi landed on the ground. He too was dead before he knew it. Ranpo hovered underneath hiss table, but his rapid breath gave him away and soon blood flood from his neck. Kunikida tried to summon a gun, but the tiger ripped his notebook apart and tore apart his chest.

Atsushi mentally vomited as his body took a bite on his friend.

Then a heartbeat was at the door, the striped monster turned around and Dazai entered their sight. The boy’s heart made an unusual jump, but instantly stopped when he saw the other’s face, the look of disgust more prominent than anything else.

“How could I think that you were a plus for the Armed Detectives? You’re nothing but a monster. I should’ve let Chuuya kill you, or better kill you back at the warehouse. They were right to hunt you. At last, you’re nothing but a disgusting beast within a more disgusting boy. You killed all my friends! You belong in a zoo!”

Atsushi was crying by then, but the tiger bad other plans. He jumped at the brown-haired, claws tripping with blood. The man got out a knife and shoved it into the tiger’s chest. As the form shrank, the disgust only grew.

             Atsushi woke up with a broken scream, his arms had turned into paws and claws tried to rip apart everything that was within reach. Junichirou and Naomi were covered in scratches as Dazai entered and rushed over to them, laying a hand on the boy’s leg as soon as possible.

He fell unconscious for a second, however opened his eyes after only a few shallow breaths. His eyes were back to their usual yellow and purple, the warm colors stood in contrast to the ice blue pupils the tiger gave him. Though they widened as he noticed the bleeding scratches on his friends.

“I’m so sorry! Honestly. I didn’t want to hurt you. It was a mistake. I’m so sorry!”

Dazai interrupted his rambling by laying a hand on his shoulder. Sobs escaped the kid, his hands trembled before he closed them into fists.

“Guys, let your wounds get stitched up. I’m taking care of him.”

The siblings left them at that and Dazai sat down, closed his arms around the younger and pulled him against his chest. Atsushi was full-on crying now and clenched onto his trench coat.

“I’m so sorry! I even hurt my friends, I couldn’t even control him this much, it’s useless! All I’m doing for you guys is cause problems! I should go, I should keep a safe distance, go away, leave Japan! I can’t even sleep without you there! You have a life too! And I’m just holding you back with my problems!”

“Hey… Shh…”

His voice let Dazai’s body vibrate against Atsushi’s head and calmed him down so much that he could take a few normal breaths before looking up.

“I don’t think you’re a burden to any of us. You are our friend. We all had our problems while training. It’s okay to struggle. It’s human to struggle. And I don’t mind taking care of you. I will help you. We all will. And don’t think for a moment that we would let you go, you are a part of our Agency! Your problems are our problems. Especially mine, I dragged you here. So stopped whining, get better and start training.”

“But what if I hurt someone again? This dream I had, it felt so real! I killed so many people, I killed our friends! And it didn’t stop until you killed me!”

At this, Dazai flinched heavily.

“Atsushi, you do understand that I could never kill you, right? You mean too much to me that I could ever do that?”

“How can you be so sure? The tiger could always attack you, hurt you so bad…”

Dazai didn’t let him finish this thought. He pressed their lips together, his eyes were shut, a hand laid on a pale cheek, the other shoved into gray hair. Two hands clenched harder at his trench coat. As they parted, he opened his eyes and looked into multicolored ones. Breath hit his lips. He smirked.

“See why I couldn’t let go? Why I won’t let the tiger go wild again?”

Atsushi only nodded. Then, he backed away and patted on the now free part of the bed. And blushed heavily.

At this image, the older only chuckled, pulled off his shoes and settled down.

As his head hit the pillow, lips met his own.

“Thank you.”

These were the boy’s last words for a few hours. He slept tightly, cuddled into his chest. And as the man wrapped his arms around him, he considered for the first time in a long while taking off the bandages just so that he could fully feel the heat radiating from the slender figure.

<Some extra bc I can>

A few days have passed and Atsushi and Dazai didn’t do much ‘couply’ stuff, except for holding hands when Atsushi was nervous or sitting closer when they were at the café. Dazai picked up on Atsushi because he didn’t want to be so affectionate and make others uncomfortable. The older was annoyed by it.

So, as one morning the grayhead came into the agency and stood next to him, he, unnoticed by Kunikida who he was talking to, slid a hand into the younger’s back pocket and squeezed his butt. Atsushi squealed and blushed so much he looked like a tomato.

“Are you okay?”

Kunikida looked down at the boy, an eyebrow rose questioning.

“Yeah, yeah, just remembered something I need to do, excuse me!”

With that he stormed to his desk, sat down and rummaged through a drawer.

Kunikida turned back to Dazai, not further caring about the strange behavior of a strange boy.

             Dazai kept on teasing Atsushi, one time he leaned on his shoulder while he was working on some papers, arms hanging down and grazing his butt. He even laid a hand on his lap and drew circles on the clothed leg, coming dangerously close to a certain area.

             Two days and a lot of teasing later it was especially warm and Dazai tried drowning in the river (at least that’s what he told everyone as he stepped into the Agency dripping wet). He shrugged off his coat and got rid of his vest before pulling off his tie, ‘accidentally ‘ using too much power and it landed behind Atsushi, who was sitting on his desk talking to Junichirou.

Innocent looking, the brown-haired went over to them and leaned onto his love interest. Who let out a surprised yelp and leaned back but frowned as Dazai smirked and held up the accessory. Then his eyes flashed up, he grabbed his collar and shoved the man into the wall.

Without missing a beat he kissed his boyfriend with more passion then he himself would’ve expected. Dazai moaned into the kiss as Atsushi pushed his leg between his own, lips moving  in synch. For mere seconds they parted, breathing heavily and staring into love-glazed orbs before hands move into gray hair and pulling them back together. Their second kiss lasted longer; it wasn’t as messy and rushed as the first one.

They were yet again interrupted by Kunikida’s throat clearing. Atsushi moves back, turns around and mumbles a quiet “Sorry” before sitting down at his desk.

Dazai however put on his remarkably smirk, ruffled the boy’s hair and ask elegantly “What is it, Kunikida?”

“Well, how much you may have enjoyed your little ‘moment’, we still need to plan this through, and if you want to kiss him again, we better do this good. The Port Mafia is involved, and I don’t need to remind you of what happened last time, do I?”

Dazai sighed, pecked his still blushing boyfriend and got back to work, though his smirk had turned into a happy smile. For once, suicide was completely out of question.

[styxjuice]

I’ll Do Better

title insp

You can pry this AU from my cold dead hands.

Trying to branch out into a different fandom. I'm pretty proud of this; tell me what you think! (Also this is partially make it up to one of my friends who keeps inviting me over but we have conflicting schedules. I hope we get to spend time together soon!)

EDIT: Fixed some characterization issues. Enjoy the updated version!

Dazai never expected his life to change this rapidly.

He wanted his life to end rapidly, but that was something entirely different from having two infants handed to him within the course of three months and being told that he was the father of both of them.

Akutagawa is first. His mother drops him off sobbing after their breakup over a year prior, handing Dazai a small child that she can’t provide for. The second, Atsushi, is the cause of the breakup between Dazai and the boy’s mother, who throws their son at Dazai the first chance she gets and never looks back.

He considers dropping them off at an orphanage, but he repeatedly puts it off, and his excuses for keeping them keep changing. First it’s that he doesn’t have the time. After that it’s because they’re not old enough. A while later he reminds himself that he’s orphaned a few children before and he doesn’t want to go there in case any of them recognize him, so it’s best he wait.

And yet, he never makes any move to send his sons away. Perhaps it has something to do with finally being able to care about something that’s a part of him, in a way. His own life is useless, and Dazai knows this, but Akutagawa’s and Atsushi’s aren’t. Their lives have barely started, and maybe he can raise them to not make the same mistakes as him. And if they turn out better than him, well, maybe he can prove to himself that not everything he’s done has been worthless. So be not-so-begrudgingly accepts this abrupt shift into a life of diapers and formula bottles.

That isn’t to say he doesn’t rethink his choice sometimes. Juggling two children while holding a job – a job in the Port Mafia, no less – causes him to stagger into work with bags under his eyes and a lack of focus that almost costs him his life on a few occasions.

“You’re going to kill me,” Dazai mutters one morning, laying down on the rug, watching Atsushi as Akutagawa climbs on his back. “One way or another, you’re going to kill me.”

Atsushi turns his head to look at him quizzically, his golden-purple eyes blinking. Slowly, he grins with just his two front teeth, rattling the small tiger-shaped plush in his hands.

“Da!” he beams.

Dazai stares at him a moment, eyes wide. Atsushi crawls forward, placing his small, pink hand on his father’s face. “Da!” he says again.

Dazai reaches one hand out to gently tussle Atsushi’s hair, causing his son to giggle. He smiles slowly.

“I’ll keep you around until you do me the honor of killing me, then,” he says softly, while Akutagawa pulls at the bandages around his eye and babbles in his ear.

Dazai soon falls into a rhythm. He works when he can, finding babysitters that can show up at a moment’s notice if he’s needed elsewhere, and he begins to learn more about his boys.

Akutagawa screams the loudest and the most often. He always wants attention, and he takes every opportunity to remind his father of this. More violent than his brother, Akutagawa often pushes Atsushi over and forcefully takes toys from him. Atsushi, the quieter one, cries only briefly until he distracts himself with something else. He falls asleep the easiest and is content to merely sit in Dazai’s lap and chew on teethers, rather than play with noisy toys or continually stick foreign objects in his mouth like his brother.

Gradually, as Dazai begins to ask for more days off, he realizes that he’s never told his boss or any of his coworkers about his sons. It isn’t as if he doesn’t want them to know, it’s just never come up. He and the rest of the Port Mafia don’t really have time or reason for small talk or updates on each other’s lives; no one cares anyway. He’ll tell them if they ask.

That’s what he tells himself until the attack.

He’s late getting the boys to bed. The dishes sit piled up on the counter because he hasn’t washed them in days, so he leaves his sons to play with each other in the living room while he finally tries to chisel the crusted food off of their plates. Letting Atsushi and Akutagawa stay up late isn’t a big deal to him; they’ll fall asleep on their own if they’re tired enough, and Akutagawa is always reluctant to leave his toys and go to bed anyway. The longer Dazai can postpone that struggle, the better.

Suddenly something in the living room falls with a crash. Akutagawa screams. Dazai’s eyes grow wide and the plate in his hands falls to the floor and shatters.

“Akutagawa!” he shouts, racing into the living room. He isn’t sure what to think. All he knows is that his son has never screamed like that before. He thinks he hears something growling in the split seconds before he sees what’s happened.

Claw marks slice through the walls. The TV’s fallen over and cushions have been knocked off the couch, but Dazai barely notices them. All he sees is Akutagawa, tears streaming down his face as he screams, a huge white tiger cub looming above him and snarling.

He doesn’t question it. His brain doesn’t give him time to question it. His arms move before his thoughts tell them to and he grabs the beast by its neck. Yet as he makes contact with it, a blue glow emanates from the tiger and his palm, shining through his fevered thoughts like a lighthouse.

The form of the tiger shifts and changes in his hands as Dazai puts the pieces together. The fury in his eyes recesses as they widen, and his grip loosens around the beast’s neck. Still shaking as the glow fades entirely, he pulls what remains of the tiger to his chest. Atsushi lays unconscious in his arms.

Few things in life scare Dazai anymore; death will be a welcome relief when it comes, and he doesn’t care what others think of him. But as he sits in the floor, panting, trembling, fear penetrates him and sinks into his stomach.

He stays awake long past after Atsushi and Akutagawa are settled in their cribs, his mind racing while he stares blankly at the scars across the walls. If Atsushi inherited an Ability from his father, what if Akutagawa did?

The boys aren’t aware of the turn their lives take that night. They have no idea of the pact their father makes with himself as his fists clench, his brow furrowing.

He’ll protect them, both from each other’s Abilities and from the Port Mafia. To them, two Gifted children are just future soldiers.

Dazai makes sure he’s at work more often, but not too often, and he eases back into more work hours as to not raise suspicion. Babysitters are replaced with a nanny that is willing to spend more than half of her week with those boys. She practically lives at Dazai’s house during the day.

“The boys should be in bed by seven, as usual,” he explains as he pulls his coat on. “But I should be back before then.”

Kuniko nods, holding Atsushi in her arms and bouncing him slightly. She won’t meet his eyes today and seems to be holding onto Atsushi a little more tightly than normal. Dazai smirks.

“Are those the signs of infatuation I see?” he purrs, playfully offering her his hand. “Finally fallen for me?”

Kuniko looks at him long enough to raise one eyebrow. “Not on your life,” she says firmly. Dazai chuckles.

“Still as strong-willed as ever. That’s my Kuniko.”

“Not yours,” she remarks as she turns her back on him, walking back into the house. Atsushi waves a little over her shoulder.

“Bye-bye Daz.”

Somehow that small gesture makes Dazai’s chest swell more than Kuniko’s love could ever could.

“I’m home!” Dazai announces, throwing open the door. His cheerful expression quickly becomes a frown; the lights are off. The apartment’s quiet. “Kuniko?”

Silence.

Dazai slips off his shoes and starts to walk into the hall. “Kuniko?” he calls again. His heart rate is speeding up. “Atsushi?” He peers into the kitchen. The light’s off and dirty dishes sit piled up in the sink. “Akutagawa?”

He’s starting to run now. Panic fills him as he sprints towards the bedrooms. “Atsushi! Akutagawa!”

“How long were you planning on keeping them hidden?”

Dazai stops dead. Slowly, he steps backwards, turning to face the living room. The couch is occupied.

“What are you doing here?” Dazai breathes.

His guest sighs, twirling his hat on his finger. “I haven’t been to your place in over a year and this is how you greet me?” Chuuya mutters.

Dazai is on him before he can react, slamming him into the wall behind the couch by grabbing onto his collar and lifting him.

“Where are they?” He hisses.

Chuuya chokes, eyes wide. “They’re in their room! They’re fine! Let go!” He says quickly. Dazai narrows his eyes but releases his hold, letting Chuuya fall back onto the couch to rub his neck.

“How did you find out about them?” he snaps.

Chuuya picks up his hat and sets it back on his head, looking up at Dazai from under its rim. What Dazai can see of his face is a foreign mix of hurt and indifference.

“Certainly not from you,” he mumbles.

Dazai’s expression doesn’t change. “You never asked.”

“I shouldn’t have needed to!” Chuuya bursts out. “You’re the one who didn’t think to tell your partner that you had kids!”

Dazai frowns. “You know what’ll happen to them if Mori finds out,” he replies calmly. But when Chuuya shrinks back and says nothing, Dazai feels his heart stop for a moment.

“I was sent to tell you,” Chuuya says quietly, not meeting his eyes. “Mori thought that if he sent anyone else, you might kill them.”

Dazai stands stock-still as the world seems to collapse around him.

“He noticed you were acting strange and sent a scout to investigate. After he found out, it was easy to get your nanny to work with us.”

Dazai feels as if he wants to scream, run, and empty his stomach onto the floor all at the same time.

“All it took was a little cash and a gun in her face. She let me in and all I just had to wait.”

Dazai stares at him. For once, he has nothing to say. No witty remarks come from his dry throat.

Chuuya watches him. “It’s not all bad,” he says, almost sheepishly. “They’re under the full protection of the Port Mafia now. Nothing can touch them.”

Something in Dazai snaps. “Protect?” he spits. “Mori says he’ll protect them?” Fury seems to pour from his very soul, pulsing through his veins like acid. “He’ll protect them until they’re strong enough to kill for him,” he growls, venom dripping from his words. “He’ll protect them as long as they’re useful to him, but if they slip up one too many times, all bets are off. He’ll protect them until they’re grown into the perfect soldiers and are old enough to fend for themselves.”

Chuuya stares at him with wide eyes. On the surface, Dazai seems eerily calm. But Chuuya’s known him long enough to know the rage behind his clenched fists, the hatred within his dark eyes. “Hey, Dazai, calm down,” he urges, but Dazai’s doesn’t see or hear him.

“They’ll either die or turn into me,” he says with awful realization, his visible eye filled with loathing as he stares at nothing. It was the worst thought of all; that his own sons might turn out like him, as suicidal Mafia members that can’t even manage to save two little boys from a life of misery and bloodshed.

Chuuya’s palm across his face strikes him like a bolt of lightning. “Snap out of it!” he shouts, grabbing Dazai’s shoulders and looking up into his face. “There’s no use pitying yourself! What’s done is done, and it’s not your fault that it happened!”

Dazai stares at him, the lines on his forehead growing deeper. “I could’ve done something-!”

“No you couldn’t have!” Chuuya shoots back. “And you can’t do anything now, Dazai! Now that Mori knows you’ve been keeping secrets from him, he’ll have eyes on you all the time!” Chuuya’s shaking, gripping Dazai’s shoulders as if he’s the sole thing keeping him tethered to sanity. “Dazai, I know better than anyone how much you’re capable of,” he says, his voice dropping. “But just this once, for your sake, there’s nothing you can do.”

Crying suddenly reaches their ears, drawing their gaze towards the bedrooms. Chuuya swiftly releases his grip.

“Dazai…” He says again, slowly, but Dazai closes his eyes and holds up his hand for silence. His breath’s still shaky as he straightens his back and clears his throat. He opens his mouth to speak, but he cuts himself off with a sigh before saying anything.

“You’re right,” he admits softly. He says nothing else. Losing his temper won’t help Atsushi and Akutagawa. Nothing will.

With that, he walks into the hallway to soothe the Port Mafia’s latest soldiers.