#beard is good at being annoyed. but ANGRY? oh no. it's not good.

[becoach-a]

beard's anger . . . is genuinely rare. he can get frustrated, annoyed, irritated, etc . . . but to actually see him angry? it's a feat. when he snapped and yelled at ted, it's because he had been letting things pile up for who knows how long. beard never yells at ted. he lets ted do what he needs to do, whether it's benching jamie mid game or hell, even accepting this job in the first place. at that moment, beard had been fed up with ted blatantly disregarding him . . . and he was dealing with those emotions while watching jane play chess with another man. there's a possibility that if jane hadn't been in the pub that night, beard wouldn't have snapped at ted. he would've done what he always does, and just keep it down and move on from it. beard never likes being angry.

even when nate betrayed ted, beard hadn't expressed too much clear anger until season three. sure, beard had been disappointed and upset, but he wasn't so clearly angry. it really is an interesting thing to do to consider beard's anger in season three through the lens of what we learned in mom city : beard's angry at himself. and he's projecting that anger, that guilt, onto nate's situation, even though ted had forgiven him long before hand.

i think the pub scene and beard's arc in season three highlights that beard is --- honestly, a person with a good bit of anger inside him. he doesn't snap at ted, he bottles every frustration up until jane's presence helped bring it out of him. he hadn't forgiven himself, so all this anger he's carried for years manifested in being angry towards nate. he holds, holds, holds his feelings up until . . . boom.

[qwimblenorrisstan]

Undying Stupidity

Summary: After raiding a strange facility, 141 takes you back to base with them, where they interrogate you, and after shooting you in the head, quickly discover that you’re an immortal.

Word Count: ~ 1.4k

Warnings: blood, mentions of abuse, dead ppl, being shot in the head?? gaz being pretty

A/N: was giggling while thinking abt this today at school, hope you enjoy<3

Requests are open!

They needed information, and where they got it from didn’t particularly matter.

A strange facility filled with what looked to be mostly dead or dying patients, the rest of the guards taken care of once Task Force 141 arrived. And they found…you. Locked in maximum security, malnourished with marks of what seemed to be abuse, but still able to walk.

Gaz and Soap exchanged a look as Ghost yanked you to your feet, dragging you along. You looked more annoyed and offended than afraid. An odd response for a teenage girl locked in enemy territory. You had a hint of a British accent, but also other accents as well. Weird.

“Uh…can we not yank on my arm?”

You said, looking in mild pain. Simon sighed, throwing you over his shoulder instead as the entire team began moving out. Price shot Ghost a warning look at the little ‘oomph’ you made. They needed you alive for the possible information you could have, and if he was too rough, he might break you.

Oh, how wrong they were.

Eventually opting to knock you unconscious once they got to their exfil, they put a white bag over your head. Couldn’t have you waking up and seeing where you were. Wouldn’t be great in case you escaped.

When you woke up, you were tied to a steel chair in a dark room with gray walls. The paint was peeling. In front of you was a table, and across the table, one of the men from earlier sat. The prettier one of the group. When you woke, he gave a little faux sympathetic smile, glancing over at what must’ve been a watch concealed within his sleeve.

“Right on time.” He said, putting his elbows on the table. A gun was in his holster and a few pairs of pliers and knives were on the table. You felt a bit mildly uncomfortable in the situation you were in.

“Look, I don’t think you know what you’re doing-“

You began, but he cut you off with a raised eyebrow.

“Really? I think I know exactly what I’m doing, now what’s your name, hm?”

You sighed, glancing down at the rope bindings chafing against your wrists, leaving angry red marks behind. The ones on your wrists weren’t any better.

“Y/N.” You said glumly, and he pulled a small notepad out from his jacket, writing things down on it with a small pen.

“Good, always easier when they cooperate.” He said, seemingly talking to himself, before glancing back up at you with deep brown eyes.

“Now, can you tell me why you were at that facility?”

You frowned, nose scrunching up slightly as you tried to find a way to explain it. He waited patiently, and you could hear his foot tapping against the floor.

“I was an…experiment?”

You tried with a little shrug. And he looked at you point blank, eyes running over your small form.

“Just shoot me. It’ll make sense after that.” You said with another uncomfortable look. It seemed to be your default. The strange man seemed a bit surprised at your words, but his features quickly tightened.

“Why would I shoot you?”

“I mean—I’ll come back, promise.”

A pause on his end and his gaze turned almost concerned. He stood from his chair, turning to face the door, and as he walked out, you heard him mutter under his breath.

“Didn’t think she was a crazy one. Could’a fooled me.”

Before he closed the door and left you in the room alone again.

It must’ve been a few hours before the door opened, except this time, it was the bearded man coming in. You’d decided that he wasn’t as threatening, not as the giant skull-faced one, anyway. The pretty man from earlier followed, looking panicked.

“Cap, you can’t just-“

A man with a Mohawk filed in after, a confused frown on his face, and the man with the mask stood by the door, silently watching.

“Anyone wanna explain wha’ tha hell is goin’ on?”

Mohawk-man spoke, with a Scottish accent. It made sense, you supposed, since he had a Scottish flag on his uniform.

“I’m gonna test somethin’, is what’s gonna happen.” The bearded man spoke, his voice gruff and low, and pretty-boy tried to stop him, but the man grabbed his gun from his holster, pointed it straight at your head, and fired.

You faintly heard yelling and fighting, your vision blacking out not too long after, and a warm liquid dripping down your face, dripping into your mouth. It tasted like iron and copper at the same time. Your senses faded to nothing, and then….

Groaning, your previously limp body straightened back up as you sat up in your seat, an empty bullet shell falling from a rapidly closing wound in your head.

Bearded-man watched, only nodding as if that had confirmed his suspicions. The pretty boy watched, mouth slightly agape, pure confusion and disbelief clouding his features. The Scotsman stared for a while, before letting out a breathy laugh and clapping you on the shoulder from where you were still in the chair. You winced.

“Well, that was one helluva show,”

He said, and the masked one just stared from his spot in the doorway, uttering the one thing most of them were thinking right now.

“Wot.”

The bearded man put his gun back in its holster, undoing the rope bindings on your hands, and the Scotsman followed his lead, taking a knee to free your ankles.

“Captain John Price.”

He said, shaking your hand. His grip was firm. Mohawk-man grinned and took your other hand.

“Johnny, but you can call me Soap.”

Your hands were limp in their grasp, still trying to recover from the bullet to your skull. Pretty-boy still gaped, mouth opening and closing, before Price explained, probably having known the shock the poor team would have.

“Immortal. Injuries don’t kill ‘er, she jus’ heals.”

A moment later, a skeleton-themed glove was in your hand, shaking it.

“Ghost.”

Was all he said, before the pretty boy came up, hesitantly shaking your hand.

“Kyle, but just..call me Gaz.”

He backed away quickly, still eying you like you might bite. Instead, you groaned, head falling against the chair.

“M….hate getting shot in the head.”

You mumbled, one hand going to rub your head where the bullet hole had now closed up. Your head was pounding, your mind swimming, and generally, it was not a good experience.

“I’d imagine,”

Soap said with a snort, and Price gestured to Soap.

“Walk ‘er to a room. Might as well get her acclimated. Laswell’s gonna want to hear about this.”

Soap gave a nod, a little grin remaining as he approached you, cocking his head slightly as he glanced down at your legs. Injuries didn’t remain on you, not much at least, but some scars did. Little indentions or light pink circles from bullets pockmarked your skin.

“Can ya walk?”

You glanced down at your legs, a doubtful frown crossing your face.

“…maybe?”

“Good enough excuse for me.”

He said, using one large arm to lift most of your body. Your arm slotted around his shoulders surprisingly easily as he carried you in one arm like a rag doll. He walked down endless hallways, until he stopped at one door, opening it up. It was mostly empty, with a thin mattress on the floor in the corner, a small window that was more like a slit on one wall, and a small dresser.

The bare necessities, but more than enough.

Soap set you gently down on the mattress, and your body relaxed into it, eyes nearly shutting from pure bliss. You’d had enough of stiff chairs, sore joints, and achy limbs. Just because you could survive almost everything didn’t mean it still didn’t hurt.

“I would say we’d get you medical, but…”

He glanced down at the spot in your forehead where the bullet had been, and you shrugged.

“I just wanna sleep.”

You said, and he chuckled, ruffling your hair before stepping towards the exit.

“We’ll get ya some food in the morning,..and maybe a bed frame. Wouldn’t count on the bed frame, though.”

Your lips quirked into a tiny smile at that, amused. He must’ve considered it a victory, because his grin widened, and he gave a little jerk of his chin upwards that looked like a goodbye.

“See ya la’er, kid.”

You knew one thing as you drifted into some much-needed sleep that night.

Life was going to get much more interesting from this point forward.

[deardoiloveyou]

Please, let me be yours

Notes: Fem!Gryffindor!Reader, romance, a bit angsty, mentions of kissing, curse words Prompt/Request: Harry and Draco gettinf jealous over u Characters: Draco Malfoy, Harry Pottah

Draco ✦ ₊°

You were always tightly knit with Harry and Draco, having been in many classes with both, as well as having this absolutely magnetizing personality that drew people to you far too easily. So, when Harry was ranting to you again, for at least a good hour - merlin's beard you couldn't tell if Harry was going to stop any time soon. Yet you didn't really care. You had a crush on Harry ever since you met him, and you finally had the chance to throw more hints at the oblivious boy.

"Dear Gods, Y/N, I feel like you're one of the few people I can really trust...just I really - love you, Y/N"

"Harry, I love you too..:

Your heart was absolutely pounding, Harry had never told you he loved you before. Maybe your efforts were no longer in vain?...Or at least you hoped.

As Harry's green eyes bore into yours, with such affection, Draco abruptly pulled your arm- Draco Malfoy pulled your arm. Right in front of Harry. Merlin, you could never tell what was going through Malfoy's head.

Through Draco's cold and alert eyes, you were flirting (which you were) with Harry Potter. The boy he hated the most in the entire world, the boy who was his sworn enemy. Then, seeing you talking to that same boy- oh it drove Draco mad. Absolutely insane. It took him more strength to restrain his arm from ripping out his wand and hexing Harry right then and there, than the strength he used during defense against the dark arts.

Harry was already confused when he noticed a cold hand - that was seemingly slithering down your shoulder to your arm, and then latching on..almost like a snake

And then realization struck Harry, he peered up, seeing his worst enemy,

Harry spoke, intensely, "Malfoy. What the hell. Get your disgusting hands off her."

"Mind your business, Potter."

Draco always gave Harry nasty glances, but this time, his eyes pierced through Harry with a venomous look. You slightly shuddered at how angry Draco looked. No, beyond angry.

So, when Draco knelt down and whispered into your ear,

"You, in my dorm, 10 minutes."

His voice was no longer soft for you, he spoke as though he was about to lecture you for an hour. Yet you still went.

Harry ₊˚⊹♡

You always sought to speak with Draco, even if it was for a millisecond, you just loved when he gazed into your eyes.

So, when you had the lovely opportunity to converse with Draco, you instantly took it.

"Ah, hi there, Malfoy"

"What do you want, filthy gryffindor?"

You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms more haughtily than professor McGonagall.

"Well, I'd love to speak with Mr. Uptight Ferret for a second."

Draco's devilish (yet charming) smirk faltered for just a second. He hated when you called him ferret, and you loved to.

As you two chatted it up, unintentionally being squeezed together from how crowded the Great Hall was this evening, Harry peered towards your direction. He realized how close you two were getting. And he did not like it one bit.

"Get your damn foul hands off her."

Harry's voice wasn't trembling anymore, it was a bit startling to hear Harry so clearly possessive of you. You acknowledged the fact that you two were close, but Harry seemed - oddly upset that you were so close to Draco. And you didn't think it was Draco alone this time.

Harry barely waited for Dracos response, gently nudging you to get up and follow him.

"Oh give it a rest, stupid Potter."

At this comment, Harry pulled you hurriedly, entangling and squeezing your hand with his. You saw Draco's annoyed figure get farther and farther away, until it was just you and Harry.

Harry was mostly quiet as he walked you out into the softly illuminated garden, only giving you soft and almost hurt looks. Harry always avoided confrontation, especially with you. So, you knowingly wrapped your arms around Harry, softly whispering into his ear,

" 'm sorry, Harry, please forgive me."

Harry closely resembled a sad puppy, making you want to hug him even more.

"Okay..."

"I forgive you..."

"It's just because I want to be yours again."

Harry gleefully smiled again, continuing to gaze into your alluring eyes

Your mouth flickered into a soft smile, holding Harry's hand again. Everything was going to be okay.

A/N: I'm so happy with how this came out, I'm definitely a lot more of a Draco fan so if Harry's part was a bit sloppy I super apologize. Anyhow, have a lovely day!

[thelunarbar]

How romantic sex on a school bus. Well ig just making out but my point still stands. And Ik it’s a dream but she’s all like ooh ok and I’m just like girl no. Make him take you to a bed at least. 

I love watching the way stiles opinion of Derek changes over time esp given that Derek doesn’t make a great first impression(not that stiles really did either but Derek’s was worse)

“Ate it?”

“Raw?”

“No you stopped to bake in a little werewolf oven.”

Scott’s hair is sooooooooo bad 😭

Also forgot how much I hate this teacher(biology or math maybe? Idk) he’s annoying

This may very well be the only time stiles tells Scott not to cancel a date. 

Danny deserves more love 

Lydia’s thing of acting dumb is really annoying like if he doesn’t want you unless you’re stupid you’re better off without him girl

Stiles reaction to Scott asking Allison about their hanging out with Jackson and Lydia

Jackson is such an asshole but Ik I end up liking him more later on

Of all things to lie about; your bowling skills???

Gotta love stiles needing to know if he’s attractive to gay guys(the answer is yes. Just ask Derek 😜)

Ngl I’ve never been sure how I feel abt deaton bc he’s like kinda helpful sometimes but also super weird more often than not

I fucking adore Melissa McCall 

Dude I tried for literal months(tho without rewatching bc I didn’t wanna do that at the time) to figure out where the pic of Derek standing behind broken glass came from and it’s from ep three when the police officer and then Scott show up the hale house 

I feel like rains too much for this show being set in California 

Derek is so nonchalant about Scott’s freak out I love it

“Why is this starting to feel like you’re Batman and I’m Robin? I don’t wanna be Robin all the time.”

“Nobody’s Batman and Robin any of the time.”

“Not even some of the time?” I love this lil convo and esp this last line bc stiles sounds so sad abt it 

Seriously why is the lighting so damn dark all the time even when I have the brightness on my screen turned all the way up and to my recollection it only gets worse

Scott and his fucking one track mind 

Yikes Allison’s closet is so bad all like boho chic and sequiny

Again a parent walking in without knocking 

I mean at least he acknowledged he forgot to knock but like teenage girl who could’ve been like changing or smth jeez

Love that he’s clearly getting ready to go out and they decide to sneak out before he leaves 

Man I wanna go bowling I haven’t bowled in so long (related even if it doesn’t seem like it, Jackson Lydia Allison and Scott go bowling)

Jackson’s laugh is so obviously fake and it’s so obnoxious 🤮

I can appreciate that being werewolf didn’t make him good at everything(just most things) 

I love love love Derek’s car 

Why does Chris argent wash Derek’s windshield for him??? Oh yes very intimidating good job Chris 

I can’t wait for argent to grow a beard he looks so much better with it 

Breaking the window on Derek’s car was so unnecessary and rude 

Ofc now Scott is great at bowling 

Lydia using Scott to make Jackson jealous is so annoying 

Ah innuendo 

“How do you cheat at bowling?”

“I don’t know, but you did.” But for real Jackson how does someone cheat at bowling 

And Derek’s being a creep again cmon man no wonder people don’t like you when this is the impression you always give 

Call a code? You have to specify which one Melissa. I’m not even a nurse and I know that 

Yay another cringey make out scene 

“Do either of you even play baseball?”

I love that they’re both super honest and just say no when she asks if they care there’s a police enforced curfew

Scott’s angry voice is not great 

Derek’s echoy voice thing wtf is that?

Love that Scott’s first thought is to try to get Derek arrested, again, for smth he didn’t do 

Ooh jump the whole staircase he’s so cool guys you don’t even know 

Ooh he’s losing the jacket things are getting serious 

The noise while he shifted was gross and not necessary 

Also I’m pretty sure they change his shifted makeup look later on bc he doesn’t look how I remember 

Love the choice of Destroya by MCR for this totally pointless fight between Scott and Derek tho 

I mean I say fight but it’s more like Derek beating the snot out of Scott 

and now we have the rational conversation after punching each other 

Oh now you give him answers after you beat the crap out of him

How come we never really discuss the fact that Scott is part of Peter’s pack? At least until he becomes an alpha himself

[nanowired-lover]

LUPIN III's Pokemon Teams

Okay, I'm having thoughts about Lupin III and Pokémon, so I tried to make some Pokémon teams / lore with my sweet Pokémon nerd girlfriend.

There are probably a few Pokémon lore mistakes bc I tried to synthesize and my gf knows more than me, plus probably a few mistranslations since I mostly know Pokémon in french, but bear with me !

Aipom : It's just. It's just Lupin. There are a LOT MORE monkey Pokémons than I thought, but Aipom matches the most. It's his best friend. He probably got him a matching suit because it's cute and fun and Aipom loves this.

Even if Gholdengo has been here the longest time because he inherited it, Aipom was his first real pokemon. He just found it as a kid and they became friends because they “recognized” each other, to his father dismay.

Klefti : The whole escape thing. I hesitated to give it to Zenigata, bc of the whole prison cell vibes, but I loved the more whimsical idea of Lupin having the key to every door : his Klefti.

He got it during his heists ! The lil thing probably followed him around after an adventure because it helped Lupin escapes, and Arsène just took it in since he got attached. (I also just really like that pokemon)

Gholdengo : It's a treasure pokemon really. It's made of gold and it looks silly. Fujiko probably tried to steal it from him sometimes until at one point where Lupin got genuinely upset about it, much to her surprise, and she stopped. She still makes jokes about it, but Lupin knows it's jokes. It was there before Aipom, so it's more like an old friend.

Lupin probably inherited from his grandpa of Gimmighoul and got attached to it, and later in life, as he started to travel, tried to find others to have a Gholdengo. And he did it :) He was so happy when it was finally evolving, because it meant that his friend grew up with him, and he did better with it than his grandpa.

NOT PICTURED HERE : Lupin is linked to Ho oh. He's a lucky bastard and the main character. Ho oh probably saved him in situation where Lupin's intelligence and talent couldn't save him anymore (think the scene at the end of Lupin III : The First where he could've died in the Eclipse explosion). There's a strong mutual respect between them, but Lupin, being silly, want to pet the bird, which get him to get pecked in the hair for being annoying. Ho oh never stays but look after him.

(I have no/less lore for his team but anyway)

Clawitzer : AKA a shrimp with guns. Its name in French is literally Gamblast. It's the first pokemon that came in my mind when I was thinking guns. Probably his first pokemon he caught with Lupin. I just pictured young Lupin being like "CATCH IT. IT'S LIKE YOU FR" "BUT I DON'T HAVE A POKEMON" "OKAY I'LL FIGHT IT FOR U" "WHAT."

Honchkrow : Jigen Pokemon sona ? /j No but really, it's the hat and the chest looking like a beard and the color palette that made me think of Jigen. The thing is probably as grumpy as he is, but like Jigen, actually a fucking softy. Jigen passed out in its feathers multiple times because it's so good. Hug a big bird, I beg you, it's so warm.

Lycanroc : Listen. If you know me irl, you know that I'm insane about the allegories and metaphors about wolves / wild dogs. I love people writing Jigen like an old feral dog, so loyal and so angry, like. Gah. So of course I had to give him a wolf/dog pokemon. What's better than literally a Lycanroc. He probably met it when they were staying in Alola for a heist, a night he couldn't sleep and just. Stared at each other. A weird recognition happening.

Lupin probably found him multiple times, treating that edgy looking dog like a good lil doggy when none is looking, bc that's what both Jigen and Lycanroc deserve. He loves it and took pictures because it's adorable.

NOT PICTURED HERE : we had a thought with Micka (my gf) how he was linked to Raikou. It's mostly because Lupin is linked to Ho oh, and I'm sorry, but I don't know the lore enough to really explain it, I just believe my wife. But they probably don't really get along, in a funny way. We had a whole scene where they were yelling at each others, Raikou roaring and at one point Jigen roaring back, Lupin wanted to interrupt bc what the fuck Jigen, and Jigen just "roared" at him, making him jump LMFAO. Jigen then disappeared in his hat of shame because yes indeed, what the fuck Jigen. (Raikou was pleased)

(okay, not too much lore either, I think. But I wanted a team that was Combat and/or Dragon based for Goe)

Magikarp : *sigggggh* Listen… I was going to give him Gyarados, but I had a laughing fit about him finding a Magikarp and getting weirdly attached to it. It's the only pokemon he keeps in a pretty and high quality pokeball bc he wants to keep it safe. He loves his weird pathetic red fish but gets quickly flustered and embarrassed when someone noticed that it's his fav baby. He tries to train it to become a Gyarados, bc Magikarp wants to be a Gyarados (and make papa proud !) but... it sucks so much it's funny.

Greninja/Lucario/Sawk : he had them in his samurai training and adventures. Honestly, a lot of pokemons would have fit Goemon too but those 3 were the ones that stand out to me. There's a whole respectful dynamic between them, and they don't have any pokeballs, so they wander a lot. He rarely has the 3 of them together, most of the time he has one, but they will always come if he needs them.

(also Greninja is one of my favorite pokemon and starter and idk why I really like Sawk)

He can make his Lucario Mega Evolve, but he doesn't do it much out of respect and trust since it's always a mess. (also if Magikarp ever evolves… he would definitely be able to Mega Evolve it)

Drampa : it's an old Asian dragon, it fits him. Probably also a comfort pokemon since Drampa is very calm and placid, so it wraps around him to calm him down when he feels like exploding (think also about the autistic HC for Goemon and Drampa being a fucking. weighted blanket)

NOT PICTURED HERE : Goe is definitely linked to Rayquaza. The mental image is way too cool to let it pass. The first time Rayquaza appeared during a fight, Lupin (being Goemon biggest hypeman) cheered so loudly that Goemon was quickly red of embarrassment.

(I really don't have much for Fujiko my bad)

Nickit : okay, I haven't played to Pokemon SW/SH at ALL, so I don't know much about pokemons from Galar (except Runerigus being one of my favorite pokemon), but when I saw this fox ? I knew it was for Fujiko. It's a thief fox. She actually deserves all the foxes of the game, and I hesitated to give her Vulpix or Ninetales, but Vulpix is too… cute. And Ninetales is related to yokai and even if it's basically Fujiko as a yokai, I didn't want to go for this vibe. Also, I hesitated to give her Braixen/Delphox bc I called mine Fujiko as I restarted Pokemon X/Y, but. heh. It doesn't really match.

Cofagrigus : My gf told me to put this one to remind the fact that Fujiko loves gold and treasure… but she can be scary powerful sometimes. And she would love to have a partner that can remind people of that. A bit like when she grabs Goemon around to be her scary bodyguard.

She takes really good care of it, and it LOVES her so much. A bit too protective, and scary, but also very silly since it's following her like her shadow and obey her to the spot.

Mienshao : I want a ""lady"" pokemon since Fujiko's hyperfeminity is important to her character (even if it's been used grossly too many times. Fujiko sweetie i'm so sorry you've been written by a misogynistic man). But also one that fitted her fighting style and presence. She probably trains with it, not only for pokemon fights, but for actual martial combat technics !

NOT PICTURED HERE : As Jigen is being linked to Raikou because Lupin was chosen by Ho oh, Fujiko is linked to Suicune. And if you want to know where Entei is, it's linked to my gf's OC Zack who made his way into the polycule in the RP we're doing 😔

Stoutland : This is basically him a Pokemon. The police force insisted he take an Arcanine since it's basically the police's pokemon in the pokemon world, but Zenigata still felt icky about being associated with the police all the time (this is an ACAB blog. Zenigata is just fucking naive and old-fashioned and fixated on the Lupin's chase). But he still had to have a dog pokemon to work with him. So he just. Insisted on having his family dog.

The Stoutland is an old, silly, determined dog. A bit like Zenigata and very loyal to him BUUUUT can be bribed with good food and pets, much to Zenigata exasperation, because Lupin managed to befriend the doggy.

Honedge : LISTENNNNNN AEGISLASH IS MY FAVORITE POKEMON. AND I LOVE ALL OF HIS EVOLUTION CHAIN. But !! To me, he has an old Honedge who never got to evolve because his previous owners (Zeni's family) didn't take care of it and just. Exposed it as a trophy. Then when Zenigata got him, the poor thing was too tired and old to actually fight and gain experience. But it still wanted to go on an adventure with Zenigata !! And Zenigata did give him some fantastic adventures.

And it's an obvious reference to Zenigata's jutte, bc I really picture him holding Honedge like his jutte.

NOT PICTURED HERE : as the rest of the gang, Zenigata is linked to a legendary pokemon. And it's Lugia. Mostly because it's the complimentary legendary pokemon of Lupin's Ho oh ! When they found out, it was when Lugia saved Zenigata from drowning during a chase happening at sea. While he was in awe and being emotional about it, Lupin was VIBRATING with excitement when he saw that. Because !! Zenigata was right !!! It's fate that they are rivals !!! It's amazing !!!

Anyway, I could go into a bigger rant about it, but it's already very long !

[sonnygirl99]

One shot - worthy of a man ( hytham ×female eivor)

📍hi there, a note before you start :

English is not my first language & this was written for fun. SOOOOOoo, I'd appreciate ignoring any mistakes.

"Am I not worthy of being a man?"

Hytham confronts all of sudden, eyes as sharp as a hidden blade.

" Huh? By Odin's beard hytham, Who would say such things?.."

Eivor replies in her usual smooth voice, not understanding what the man meant

A moment of silence passes between the two, the hidden one's bureau was quiet in the early morning hours, so quiet that one was able to hear the birds tweeting's peacefully outside .

A Lott of warriors babbled with laughter while heading to the river's shore, a scent of fresh baked bread spread in the air, announcing the start of a new day for the raven clan .

Eivor here had just returned from lundon last night full of valuable resources about the order of ancients, so technically when she awoke this morning, first thing she had in mind was to visit hytham. she knew this was supposed to be his own mission yet depending on his condition, he couldn't have gone to lundon.

Before the day eivor departed , she saw the sorrow gleaming in his eyes as if he was a lad being told that he wasn't able to use his own dagger anymore, hytham was so much of an innocent sweetling if she would say so, he sure can be selfish sometimes or even a big headed fool like that time when he was showing her how to do the leap of faith, how did he think that he can just do it carelessly with such injury? Foolish, he was, but with a good heart.

she couldn't help but to be gentle towards the man, whenever she saw him she would smile joyfully , tease him . Oh, how she loved teasing him! He would just smile at her even if it annoys him at Times ,she even makes herself comfortable enough to beat him on the shoulder or to pat on his head gently as some any other kid in her clan, they were really good friends.

______________________________

Here she is, standing...tall&proud as ever. her icy orbs looking at his ...smiling & joking with joy, He admired every bit of her, a strong woman she was,one who cares about her people as much as she cares about herself.

when they first met, he did not understand what basim saw in her that made her worthy of a hidden blade.

a selfish Dane , he thought her to be.

This impression increased as she boldly refused to wear their sacred weapon correctly. However, when he betrayed her and tried to kill her long-lasting enemy, the killer of her parents. she should've been angry, furious... but yet she looked him deep in the eye and said, " I forgive you,hytham. "It was only then that he realised that all this time, he was the only selfish being.

And yet, the way he saw her look at other men,how she took care when speaking to them, even his mentor Basim. , but when it comes to him for some reason, he finds that she smiles softly , touches him .. as if he wasn't an assassin....a murderer! as if he wasn't a grown man who was capable of many things , she treated him as some child, and it did hurt , for he always showed her how much capability he had , he was clever! No, really! His former mentors always told him that! Doesn't she like clever men? And so it was today that after her return from Lundun , he stole the chance to speak about his feelings.

"Well," he took a deep breath. " it seems like you think of me as a child, eivor.."

with a raised brow and a tilted head , she looked as if she's solving a puzzle of some kind ,eivor Wolf kissed was perplexed

." I'm afraid that I do not follow ?"

" What I mean is to stop patting my head like that , I am really am a grown man, you know." He spoke very calmly compared to his inner mind.

"Oh,"

It finally seemed to click.

" So our young eagle here desperately wants to be an adult?"

Or not.She immediately starts joking about his words , a smile on her lips.

Haytham sighed helplessly , putting whatever scroll he's currently carrying down on a table.

"Oi ! What's wrong, my friend? Did anything bad happen ? You seem a bit out of place today."

Eivor wondered, yet she decided it was better for her to go on joking .

"Am I required to prove it ?, perhaps for you to understand me? because I can show you."

He said , stepping a bit closer so he could reach her arm, a sober look on his face.

"Fine then . go on and show me, young eagle."She replied, chin as high as ever

It happened so fast ,the man suddenly sweeps her by the waist, pulling her closer to him.

her  body bumped into his , which obviously did put her off guard only to make her hold into hytham's nick like there was no tomorrow. Eivor gasped softly, He was too close, so close that she clearly saw her own self reflected in those crystal eyes, she can even smell his unique scent of clean jasmine stemming from his own skin

Hytham's breathing grows heavy along with his cheeks getting redder & redder, yet he shows no sense of hesitation, but keeps his gaze focused on her instead, Seeing her face expression, his lips twitched slowly. the smile of Loki ,she thought.

Eivor didn't feel like letting go, there was something about him,something that made her feel as if everyone else didn't matter at that moment, nothing mattered at all as long as she stayed between his arms .

Adjusting his grip, hytham lowers his head, reaching her right side . Her heart skipped a beat as she felt his own breath tickling her right ear before he uttered gently, " You see ? I am a man capable of many things, wolf-kissed~"

Chills ran through her spines, is he going to take things further?

But no , for he scans her face for the last time, before Letting go, his hands drifting away slowly.

leaving her, stunned.

"...."

" I.., I think that I have to go. "

______________

How was his heart still pounding in place? He had no idea. ,but He can not be the only one getting his heart to scream loudly whenever she's around anymore . She's bond to know. She has to.

You know, perhaps this was a bad idea...

Hytham thought as seeing her face being that close.

I..I have to let go ,that's enough , she may hate me for that.

But look, Her eyes are of beauty....her skin so soft...

Enough.

" I.., I think that I have to go ..."

She backs away slowly towards the door behind her , still holding his gaze though , with the same stunned expression,

her ears a reddish flame.

Seeming to be sick of it all, the woman turns her back on him as to leave , silent.

Goodness have I sinned to be looked at with such face?

You Foolish man , foolish hytham .

" w..wait!"

Oh He's the one trembling now

Her boots stopped on the wooden floor , her back still turned , the sound of singing birds still tweeting from the outside.

"forgive me eivor, forget that it even happened, I did not intend to—"

But then , He swore of catching a glimpse of somewhat a smile forming down her cheeks.

"No, for you just proved to me that you are a man of many things , hytham,"

"And that young eagles become eagles after all."

And with that she takes leave, not only leaving the bureau but also leaving the hidden one amazed.

_______________________________________

Later on that day when the sun sank deep into the horizon , announcing its farewell for the day.

eivor wolf kissed layed on her huge bed in the darkness , it's feather tickling her face.

keen to take a warrior's rest, but full of thoughts skimming into her head, the soft touch of hytham flashed through Eivor's memory ,along with those warm eyes of his, the sweet tone of gilt that reached her ears, "forgive me " he had said.

Again, she couldn't help but feel a smile forcing its way into her lips .

You surprised me today , young eagle.

& strangely I find myself looking  forward for somewhat other surprises of yours, so be sure to let that eagle rise inside of you to become one yourself, young one.

Ending

[adoracora-elizabeth]

The truth always comes out, chapter 34

"Yes." Cora answered here phone, she did not look at the caller ID, because she had to run from the garden. She loved being in the garden, at Downton they had staff that took care of everything. She only took regular walks, but never really cared for the plants. Now she was the one finding out when which flower blossomed and when she should cut or not.

It stayed silent on the other side of the line.

"Hello?" Cora said. "Who is this?"

"It is me." Robert's voice sounded.

Cora felt her stomach flutter. Robert's voice still had an effect on her, although she tried to not let it happen, when she was not prepared to hear his voice, she could not help but react. "Oh, hello." she said, as casually as possible.

"I am sorry to bother you, but I received some papers that we need to look at."

Cora hated it when Robert said that he did not want to bother her. He did that a lot when she was at Downton. Then it was more along the lines that it was nothing to bother her with. But this gave her the same feeling. "What papers?" She tried to hide her annoyance.

"About the divorce, we should finalize it. Do you want me to come to London, or do you want to come here? Or we can meet somewhere in the middle?"

She did not want to go back to Downton, but she also did not want him in her house. This was a Robert free zone; she had declared to herself. "I can come to Downton." Cora walked towards her agenda and saw her weekend was free. "How about this Saturday?"

"That is perfect, see you then."

He had hung up before Cora could say goodbye. Robert was probably still very hurt and maybe angry about her leaving. He had never been good in managing his emotions. Edith had told her, that he had stopped drinking, it was a huge relief to know that. She was scared he would drink himself to death. But Mrs. Hughes was keeping him in order. Cora let out a deep sigh, Mrs. Hughes was a wonderful woman, and Robert was lucky to have her and Carson to look after him. She turned on the kettle. Who was there to look after her? She had Rosamund who came by regularly, but that was it. She should try and make some friends. It was also time to find something to do. Her parents had left her with a wealth that made it possible to never work a day in her life, but she wanted to do something. All of the sudden Cora felt a tear running down her cheek. She wished she could call her mother, but both her father and mother had passed away.

+++

"Can you please stop that pacing around, or do it outside?" Mary said annoyed looking up from her book.

Robert stopped abruptly in his tracks; he had not noticed he was pacing. Cora could be here any minute now. "I am sorry." He murmured.

"Papa, sit down and take a drink." Mary saw her father's eyebrows rise. "No, not that kind of drink. A cup of tea I meant."

"I know, I know." Robert frowned, of course he knew she did not mean an alcoholic drink. Cora would smell it on him from miles away. The door to the drawing room opened and Carson appeared. Directly behind him was Cora.

"Thank you, Carson." Cora said, clearly uncomfortable, that she had to be escorted towards the drawing room by the butler.

"Mama, lovely to see you." Mary got up and walked towards her mother to kiss her on her cheek.

Cora touched her arm briefly. "Thank you darling."

"I am off." She looked at her father and walked away.

Cora walked towards Robert and kissed his cheek. His smell made her weak in her stomach. She felt his bristly skin, he had not shaved in days. But she had to admit, he was good looking with a beard. Quickly she stepped back when she noticed she was holding his arm a bit too long. Her cheeks coloured and she averted her face.

Robert closed his eyes the moment Cora came so close to him that she could not see his eyes. She looked lovely, she had gained some of her old weight back he noticed. It was a relief to see, she had lost so much weight while she was sick, and he had been scared she would not regain it. But she did, did that mean she was happy? He thought. Every fibre in his body, wanted to pull her back when she stepped away from him. He wanted to put his noise in her hair, which was in a low ponytail on her back. Some curls escaped in the front, and he wanted to put it back behind her ear.

"You said, you received some papers?" Cora said, waking Robert from his daydreams. She had recognized the look on his face, he was fantasizing, the same thing that happened in her mind the moment she laid her eyes on him, just when she entered the drawing room. The physical affect he had on her, was jarring.

"Yes, Murray finished all the details and I think he made a good settlement."

Cora swallowed; with these papers it would be defined. There was no way back after signing them. "Can I read them?"

"Of course, do you want to take them with you and come back later or?" Robert stopped; he did not want to push Cora in any way.

Cora took the papers from Robert; it was not too much she noticed and would be able to read it today. "I will read them right now, if that is alright?"

Robert nodded. "Of course, can I poor you a drink?"

"Some tea would be lovely." Cora had seen that there was tea and some biscuits waiting on the table. It was something she missed in her home, everything she had to do herself and although she really liked living this independently, it was sometimes very convenient to have people do those things for you.

+++

'Cora got up, without saying a word and threw the papers in the roaring fire. She stepped closer towards Robert, who was still sitting on the sofa opposite of her. She reached with her hand towards his chin, and she lifted his head, so he was looking at her. Slowly, very slowly she came closer. Her hair was loose and was now falling forwards. It gave her an angelic look. Her nose brushed his and he felt her breath on his skin. "We should wake up." She said very softly.'

Robert felt a hand shaking his shoulder and a voice saying. "Wake up." His eyes snapped open. Cora was standing in front of him, but her hair was still neatly in that ponytail.

"I am sorry to wake you, but there are somethings we need to discuss." She pointed at the papers in her hand.

Robert tried to shake off the dream he just had. He felt stupid for falling asleep in the first place, but he could have known he would dream about her. He dreamed about Cora every night, she came back to him every night, again and again.

[blessyouhawkeye]

ok but who would be who in a ted lasso mash au or alternatively a mash ted lasso au 👀

oh my goddddd don't even say this to me......... well off the bat ted and bj are like this 🤞🤞 so both ways they're the same (moustached dad who is a repressed bisexual and hiding massive inner turmoil under a pleasant exterior) but not all mash/ted lasso characters are one to one like that (though sidney and dr. sharon are also the same in both imo)

oh my god a ted lasso mash au you've unzipped me....... hawkeye as rebecca fresh from a divorce with trapper (trapper isn't anything like rupert in this au but hawkeye is just as angry as rebecca is because well. he's hawkeye) and is left with only the elite women's football club they had bought together while they were married to remember him by. on top of that, he also has to fill the role of their former manager (henry) who has retired to spend more time with his kids. so hawkeye, jaded from the divorce and reeling from the loss of two people he cares deeply about, hires bj hunnicutt in all his folksy charm to coach his team. (bj is fresh from a divorce himself, but he and peg are still close and he gets erin every other week.) hawkeye's higgins is originally frank as a holdover from the old owners, but he fires him and hires charles instead, and his keeley is 100% klinger (very fashionable and fabulous but also very smart like keeley). nate is radar for sure (short king that's holding the whole place together) and potter is a version of roy, a long-retired but well known player hired by bj. i don't think a coach beard exists in this au because bj doesn't have any close friends other than hawkeye and that's a necessary part of the beard/ted dynamic. so the coaching team is just bj and potter at first, and radar comes later when they realize how smart the kid is. originally i had margaret as keeley but quickly realized she's for sure jamie, brilliant and extremely sure of herself, needs to learn how to be a team player and then she'll become the leader she's meant to be. the nurses are the rest of the team, with kellye as sam. i think bj and hawkeye in this au would maintain some of the ted/rebecca dynamic of ted helping bring down rebecca's walls and help her be silly again, and i think he'd do that by incessantly pranking hawkeye until hawk gets so annoyed he pranks bj back in spectacular fashion but instead of being mad bj just goes see isn't it good to laugh again. and hawkeye goes oh shit oh fuck i think i could fall in love with this man and his stupid moustache. also the club is to this version of bj as the still is to mash bj (and i feel the same way about trapper and i never even met him. but he built this club with you...).

thank you for coming to my ted talk (pun intended) i will now be thinking about this concept until the end of time

[tonnerredebrest]

a tired canadian trying to put back together two annoying europeans

summary: Lance is tired. Tired of putting Esteban back up each times Alonso just looks at him, tired of feeling shitty about Mick leaving, and exhausted about having said Spaniard as his teammate. Yet, he needs to be strong, for he’ll learn he has a new quest for the 2023 season: making his teammate and friend see reason, and date again. Also he’ll have to threaten some people to get Mick back on the grid, but nothing is impossible. tags: eventual happy ending, crack, emotional hurt/comfort, eventual fluff, breaking up and getting back together, warnings: none apply, some f-bomb swearing. part: 3 of 6

Part 1 ; Part 2 ;

The first day of testing is a pain in the arse, literally. Yeah, he got his seat fit and other things, but that damn porpoising hurts his back. Something else also hurts, irritates him, and it’s his goddamn teammate. That man has deemed that it was a good idea to just stroll back to Esteban, as if nothing happened, as if they were still together and in the same team.

It nearly broke the Frenchman to the ground. And guess who has to scramble for the pieces of that lanky drivers, put them back together to make him survive the day? Yeah, you’re goddamn right it was the Powerpuff boys. Mick will stay for a bit in the UAE, to hang out with some of his own friends, and be the excellent emotional support golden retriever friend he is. Lance can’t thank him enough for that, it’s always hard to take care of Este alone.

They got absolutely trashed at the end of the year parties, going from one place to another, purposefully avoiding the Yankees and one Spanish driver. They know some pics will be bound to leak, but they don’t worry that much. After all; it was Seb’s retirement, they can and will use this excuse.

Anyway, once again, Este is having a hard time adjusting to this new relationship, or rather lack of thereof, he has with Fernando. He is pacing in Este’s hotel room, their favourite meetup point mind you, mumbling in his beard and sometimes moving his hands, as if he is Italian. Lance and Mick just patiently wait on the bed, for whatever their best friend wants to talk about now. For once, he seems pretty angry. Everything is better than a sad Este, Lance thinks, and soon regrets.

“I just don’t understand,” the French driver’s voice always gets that annoying Normand accent when he doesn’t mind it. “He leaves the team, without looking back, and doesn’t give a fuck about consequences. He ignores me, ignored his responsibilities towards the team, and then, as if the rain didn’t fell from the sky, after he changes teams, he comes back to me. He thinks I’m a fucking idiot.”

You’re an idiot, Lance thinks.

“Oh ta gueule, Lance, I perfectly know what you think. Anyway, he dares coming back towards me, that bastard dares to do that, and for what? Just for a ‘Hello, how are you doing?’ I swear to you two I will strangle him.”

Lance and Mick look at each other, now just a little concerned about Alonso’s safety.

“We’ll help you hide the body,” Lance jokes, eyes already glittering at the idea.

“Ta gueule, Lance,” Mick repeats, focusing on Este instead. “And you did you feel? Apart from the feeling of being taken as a joke, of course.”

“Je…” The French driver looks at the window, his brain freezing.

Then, Lance and Mick are the spectators of a man loosing all his composure, and crumbling. Este’s lips begin to tremble, his eyes are watering. Both German and Canadian driver immediately go to him, to reassure and cuddle him.

“I let him do, I let him say hello to me, I let him lie to me, I let myself imagine that, maybe, he’ll come back, that he is coming back, that all of this is just a nightmare, but no…”

Esteban is quietly crying on Lance’s shoulder.

“I thought it was a nightmare, and that he was coming back to wake me up, but no…”

The next day, when Lance sees Alonso again in the garage, he has to physically restrain him from punching the man. The Canadian has spend some time with Daniel, he got a little bit of UFC and MMA knowledge, he is certain the Spaniard will be the one hurting the most if Lance ever decks him, and not him, no matter how many times Mick insists he doesn’t know how to fight.

After some painful driving, they are in the garage, discussing whatever teammates and their race-engineers need to discuss. As always, Lance is propped against the wall, leaning on it because he’s tired. Alonso is close, far too close to his liking. As his own race-engineer, Ben, is talking to Chris, Alonso’s engineer, about some new wing features, Lance just stares at the man in front of him.

He knows he has his best bitchy and bored face on, and he does truly wonder if he can just hit the man from his position, without moving. Faking some stretchering, he tries out the distance, sadly for him, and happily for Alonso, Lance is still too far from his teammate.

You lucked out this one, but don’t think I won’t ambush you next time.

[jvstheworld]

My Ted Lasso Re-watch: S1E5 (part 3)

Tan Lines

Jamie isn't part of the power circle because he still doesn't understand that it's not all about him.

The chant he does is annoying.

Ted starting to become angry at Jamie's behaviour but is only stopped by Henry running in.

Ted's sigh when Henry starts doing the chant is every parent when they know they are going to be hearing the same song on repeat, non-stop. Even though he doesn't live with Henry at the moment, it's was just an automatic reaction for him.

Yes, don't humanise the human just trying to do his job.

Jamie's showboating is annoying as fuck.

Roy is rightfully pissed off at Jamie. Sam is down, he becomes the priority. Roy knows this from experience and helps Sam look like a hero for getting back up. Something Sam will later repay this to Roy at the end of the season.

All of Jamie's antics just makes Ted's decision to bench him easier. He has a plan and he needs Jamie that it cannot be all about him. He needs to work with his team mates because neither him or the team can get better. He'll get it eventually as he's the first one one the team to get Ted's Total Football plan, but right now he is just a prick.

Roy commands the locker room and Isaac makes space for Nate to sit down too.

Ted relating his life to what the team is going through. He has a story for everything. Reminds me of Raymond Reddington from The Blacklist who can pull of story from anywhere, in any situation.

Ted isn't just talking about the team, but about him and Michelle. Only Beard realises this which is why he says 'good save' when Ted has to reaffirm that he is talking about football. And it's also why Beard appears with a pint for Ted when he says goodbye to Michelle and Henry.

Ted wants all eyes on him to say one last thing, but slaps the shit out of the believe poster. He went to the Captain Holt school of commanding attention.

Yeah Roy, we all know you hate Jamie. You don't exactly hide it. Even Sam is fed up of hearing how much Roy hates Tartt.

Richmond gets their first win! Everyone but Rebecca and Jamie are happy about it.

Nate jumping on Ted will late be used as a Christmas present for Ted in season 2.

A Back To The Future reference. Will later be mentioned in the final Diamond Dogs meeting.

Henry is making the long run to see his dad this time.

Ted explaining to Henry what a wanker is. Oh honey. He's not technically wrong, he just left some details out.

Rebecca is starting to feel a twinge of guilt about her plan after seeing Henry and Ted together. As she should.

The parallel between how Ted and Michelle met and Roy and Keeley now.

Shannon keeping Henry busy while Ted and Michelle talk. We needed to see more of her.

Ted doesn't like quitting things because that how he saw what his dad did. He does want to do the same to the people in his own life. But he's not quitting the marriage, he's letting himself and Michelle move on from something that isn't working anymore. He's tried to make it work, through couples counselling, and then by giving Michelle space, but it's hasn't worked. It's okay the let go at that point they both need to find their own happiness, unfortunately it isn't together. But they have Henry and he will be their priority from now on. They make for better co-parents than spouces.

But holy hell does everyone sell this scene. As much as I might not be the biggest fan of Michelle, mostly because of her criticism of Ted's personality (girl, you married him. You knew what he was like) and her relationship with Dr Jacob being a bit sketchy, she is still hurting too. She love him and now she's lost that. It's not something she intended, just something that happened over time. And by this episode she was kind of done trying, as much as she might say she wants to try, she really didn't. She knew it was over and didn't want to admit it. She was making herself more miserable. And my heart breaks for Ted because he would do anything to stay with the woman he loves, because despite it all, he does love her. He never lost it. I can't imagine how it must feel to be told that the person you love most in the world no longer feels the about you. All he wanted to do was be a good husband but there's nothing he can do to make it right. So they only option he has left is to let her go. The only good thing to come out of this is that it's amicable. There's no hate or malice, just two people who drifted apart and now need to focus on their son.

Beard is the best friend Ted could have, he's always there when needed. Get a friend like Beard.

[sy5starplaty]

Live-blog of Ted Lasso 3.09...

FOOTBALL! That should keep the complainers happy, right?

Roy is liking other people having fun... what?

Beard faints at Roy saying "great job".

Pretty sure Isaac's issue is Colin not telling him... otherwise he'd be making others stay away from Colin, right? IDK.

Jack is ghosting Keeley... So she's more worried about her reputation OR she's dead. Either way, this is the end & Jack is very much Willhouby.

TED IN A REBECCA SCENE 4MINS IN!

Oh, that was lovely.

Also good song.

ROY IN A KEELEY SCENE 6MINS IN! Ok, not quite the same, but yes... positivity?

Jade at Nate's workplace...

Wait, Derek? Does that mean he's the same guy who owns the American joint in Amsterdam? Or are there two Dereks?

"It's worthwhile to meet you" - that feels like a bit of an insult & I love her for it.

Her name is short for JADED... I LOVE HER SO MUCH.

And Roy's not doing the press conference. Why am I not surprised?

Beard losing 'em with the music jibes... not a great stand-in.

Neither is Rebecca. That guy from Cream is pretty good, though.

"I am sick of Roy being Roy" - me too at this stage.

Rebecca doing a Roy with the loud yell to grab attention & ordering him around.

Is the total football thing happening around the whole club? That was very versatile.

Colin off to talk to Trent...

Rebecca's "pep talk" needs some work, but it's long overdue.

GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY, MAN.

She may need to take her own advice.

Rupert doesn't approve of Jade, so he'll do something which will eventually bring Nate back to Richmond. Hopefully Jade isn't caught in the crossfires.

"Thank you for correcting me Chris, and next time feel free to wait until we're off-air." I LOVE ARLO (& Chris).

Of course beer tastes better out of a champagne glass, Paul.

"So now that Jack is officially my ex please feel free to say anything you didn't like about her"... Oh, Keeley, I don't think you're ready to hear all of my grievances.

The hand thing suggests it's more a personal issue with McAdoo...

Oh, dear, he's brought it out onto the field. This is not going to be good.

I hope that guy who keeps shouting is getting paid a lot for all the vocal work.

Uh oh! No, McAdoo! DON'T ATTACK THE HORRIBLE "FAN"!

Red card for McAdoo...

And... the whole team is... silent.

The other F-word. Ah.

What if one of us is gay? ... Oh, dear. Ready to out somebody are we? But, uh, yeah... what if, man? You gotta tread carefully with your slurs. Better yet! Don't do any at all!

Lol at the silent convo with Sam & Jamie. Go, Sam! Be the captain.

Jamie's flattered that the others might think him gay.

Wait... Colin's about to...?

"What happened isn't what you're really angry about, is it? You gotta go deal with that, or you're gonna fuck up whatever it is you really do care about." Oh, Roy. You learning! And also... this is good fodder for my next GMW fic chapter.

Aw, Will... I'll have some bubble gum.

Aw... the himbos! I love them.

Yup. Rupert's still effing around & he expects Nate to do the same. Good lad, Nate. Can you help Bex out, now? She and Diana need to get the hell away from that man.

"The Press are ready for you, Ted." Nope, Roy's gonna do it. Good boy.

ROY'S BEING TED RIGHT NOW WITH THE STORY INSTEAD OF GIVING A STRAIGHT ANSWER. So weird. I love it.

And... he's doing wonderfully. It was a good pep talk, Rebecca.

Jade's reading Murakami. And she gives good hugs too apparently. 

KNEW IT. Isaac was just annoyed Colin didn't tell him.

And... it ends on them playing video games going through the process of understanding.

GOOD EP. Might even say great ep upon rewatch.

I'm really gonna need some movement on the Roy/Keeley front next ep (still need to see that moment from the trailer). The bit of growth Roy did here should be moving us to that point.

Also... tedbecca, but less so. Starting to think Nate might be involved there.

3 episodes left.

[sothisispeerpressure]

I’m watching Get Back and here are some of my thoughts:

- if I was George, I would get irritated with Paul too

- Paul looks so good though

- Yoko really did kinda stay out of the way and just observe

- Mal Evans content I didn’t know I needed

- Could you Imagine Gimme Some Truth or All Things Must Pass on the Let It Be album????

- the way they poked fun at their irritation with Ob-La-Di was funny

- George complimenting Paul’s beard. So sweet

- Ringo playing a song on the piano was so sweet too

- I like how they played I’m So Tired (and still just break into their harmonies like it’s not biggie???) and Every Little Thing (but they always came back to the songs they were singing 😭🤚🏻)

- Apple had a truck and I just never thought of that concept

- you really get to see how much the smoked. Wow they smoked a lot.

- how many songs did they write that we just never get to hear???

- Ringo’s sweater on day 3. That is all.

- wow Paul is annoying. I love him but he’s so annoying, who does he have to take control of everyone else’s songs

- George’s fit day 3, boy take me away from this place somewhere far away 😍

- at first I didn’t like the background vocals Paul and George did on Don’t Let Me Down but it grew on me and now I wish it was kept

- Paul is a pick me

- y’all don’t get to make fun of John for forgetting his own lyrics anymore they had 2 weeks for 14 songs

- George won the argument

-“I’m not trying to put you down George, let’s just work it out” “ok you work your part out first and then I’ll work mine out” “………..I’m not trying to put you down George-“

- “Lennon’s late again. Thinking of getting rid of him” and then when John leaves Paul has a whole breakdown 😂

- George’s hair is so cute

- Ringo looks like he needs a hug

- John has been wearing the same shirt for like 4 days is he ok

- Mal looks so happy to just be part of the group during Silver Hammer🥺

- Across The Universe is making me happy

- “nothings gonna change my world” “I wish it focken wood”

- Paul loves to hear himself doesn’t he

- the flashback to their touring days during Rock and Roll Music 🥺

- George singing I Me Mine with his head down Bc he shy and then getting more confidence after the boys compliment his lyrics

- tag yourself I’m the guitar fell over Paul a guitar fell over-

- John’s skin is so fair awh

- I’m going to choose to believe that the short sleeve shirt Paul is wearing is the same one from Help!

- Beatle banter

- LINDA APPEARANCE

- PAUL PLAYING ANOTHER DAY MY LORD HOW OLD ARE THESE SONGS

- Linda is so pretty 😍

- Long And Winding Road by Lennon/McCartney? No. Long And Winding Road by Evans/McCartney.

- George: “I’m never late” George, 3 days later: “I had to be late just to finish me breakfast 😪”

- The Castle of The King of The Birds feat. George Harrison on drums

- Get Back (Politically Controversial Version) (From The Vault)

- THE WAY JOHN AND PAUL ARE SMILING AT EACH OTHER DURING SCITTBW 😍😍🥰

- seriously why is John wearing the exact same thing every day

- all these songs we’re never heard is making me think that the possibility of Everyday Chemistry being a real thing is highly possible

- George’s voice is so pretty I love him he’s my favorite

- Across The Universe (Circus Clown Version) (From The Vault)

- Paul sings let it be and George almost drops his guitar

- the way they match up Linda’s photos with the footage is so cool to me

- George is so cute I wanna kiss his face

- after a whole week of the purple shirt John finally has a different shirt on

- Why is John just 👁👄👁 at Paul when they get face to face while playing

- this documentary just proves that Two Of Us is a mclennon song

- “I think I’ll leave the band now.” “When?” “Now.” The silence, sheesh.

- *angry rock and roll sounds proceed*

- OH NO THEY GOT YOKO ON THE MIC

- I think they’re ok with it because of being angry at George though

- George was the only thing keeping Yoko from going ham on that mic. The mic needs therapy. Therapy with George. George abandoned the poor mic.

- oh that Yoko recording was from THESE sessions??? It’s on VIDEO video???

- did I spot Mo!?!?

- Paul is the real jealous guy

- Isn’t It A Pity 😭😭😭

- Ringo looked like he was crying in that huddle :(

Come back tomorrow for part 2!!!!!!

[avintagekiss24]

one cup sugar, one cup spice | a. barber

→ pairing: andy barber x black!reader

→ word count: 7074

→ warnings: age gap, corruption kink, innocent reader, daddy kink, pain kink, smut, sex, loss of virginity, vaginal fingering, hand job (male receiving)

→ author note: happy holidays my dudes! what i would do to have andy barber standing in my kitchen... anyway, reader is i n n o c e n t, but totally of age, and in college. as always, line breaks by @firefly-graphics​, gif by @evansensations​

There’s a light dust of white covering the green lawns and black asphalt of the street. You shiver as you follow your parents out towards their car, pulling your beanie down over your ears before you shove your hands into your navy blue Dartmouth hoodie.

“Honey,” your mom coos, turning back towards you as your dad loads the car, “Are you sure you don’t want to come with us? Your aunt has plenty of room.”

“I’m positive,” you laugh, “Aunt Sohpie and I don’t get along that great anyway.”

“Well, you could try a little harder.”

Your mouth drops open, eyes wide as you stare at her, “She called me a stuck up, yuppie bitch when I told her I wasn’t going to stop using deodorant.”

Your dad chuckles, prompting a swift slap to the shoulder from your mother before she turns back towards you, “Sophie is a free spirit. She doesn’t believe in putting chemicals in or on her body. One week of trying to get along won’t hurt you.”

“Oh, it’ll hurt,” you answer, pulling her into a hug, “Smelling her B.O. for a week would actually kill me.”

Your mother tuts, pulling back and slumping her shoulders a little as she squeezes your sides gently, “I don’t want to leave you here alone for Christmas.”

“Oh, stop badgering the girl. She’ll be fine,” your dad cuts in, kissing your forehead when he approaches, “She had a tough semester, she’s allowed some alone time. Be good, baby. I left a credit card on my desk for any emergencies.”

You smile warmly, “Thanks daddy.”

There’s a sound of a door opening, then closing, heavy footsteps against the old wood of the porch next door, “Oh, Andy,” your mom calls towards the neighbor, “You got a minute?”

Your face scrunches as you glance over at your father, who sighs heavy, “Don’t get mad, baby.”

“Why would I get mad?”

“She kinda, you know,” he shrugs, knocking his head back and forth, “Asked the neighbor to look in on you while we’re gone,” when your face drops, he throws up his hands, “I didn’t do it, she did.”

“Mom!” You hiss, flipping your eyes to the tall, dark haired man cutting across his front lawn, “I don’t need a babysitter! I’m twenty years old!”

“Hush,” she whispers, plastering a smile on her face as she wraps her arm around your waist, “Sorry to bother you, Andy.”

“Oh, no, no, no. It’s okay, I was just checking the mail.”

You’re angry and embarrassed as the tall, older man approaches, but a sudden heat blooms across your chilled brown skin. Pushing your glasses up your nose, you take a heavy breath, expelling it hard as you eye him. You’ve only really seen him in passing, throwing your hand up in a friendly wave as you jogged into your childhood home during a long weekend away from school. You only vaguely remember him moving in about a year or two before. Hell, you don’t even think the two of you have uttered anything more than just a neighborly ‘hey’, and now, thanks to your mother, he’s going to be keeping an eye on you.

Just wonderful.

She smiles proudly, “You remember our daughter, right?”

“I do,” he smiles slowly, an intense pair of blue-green eyes bouncing between yours, “We’ve run into each other a few times over the years. How you doin’ kiddo?”

He reaches out, extending a large palm and long fingers. You take it gently, smiling soft as you drop your eyes from his, nerves suddenly pooling in your stomach, “Um, good. Thanks for asking. How um,” you swallow, glancing back up at him, finding his eyes still centered on you, “How are you?”

He shrugs, but keeps your much smaller hand in his, “Can’t complain.”

“Listen, honey,” your mom starts, “I asked Mr. Barber to pop over and check on you every now and again while we’re gone.”

“Mother,” fake laughter filling the air, your face hot from being annoyed to all hell, “I’m not a child, and I’m sure Mr. Barber has better things to do with his time than to check on me constantly.”

“It’s no problem,” he shrugs again, those eyes of his now roaming, down your body, then up again, slowly, “I have the next couple of weeks off myself.”

“Congrats on the promotion, by the way.” Your father smiles, finally drawing Andy’s attention away from you. He nudges your side with his elbow, “Andy’s the new District Attorney.”

You keep your eyes on the tall Andy, sliding them the length of his body. He’s sturdy. Broad shoulders not so hidden underneath his zip up hoodie, clinging to thick biceps. Dark jeans accentuate long legs and a little waist. A perfect, full beard lines his strong jaw and chin. Two enormous hands are shoved into the pockets of his pants, so large that they don’t even fit right… You inhale deep, drawing your bottom lip into your mouth, sinking your teeth into the flesh as a tiny moan slips through.

Blue eyes snap to you again as it sounds. God. Your lips part, eyes widen as they stare back at him in embarrassment. He just smiles again, slow and seemingly knowing; his eyes falling down your frame again.

“We better go if we’re gonna miss traffic, hun.” Your dad’s voice suddenly breaks into your conscience, snapping you out of the small trance that Andy Barber has leveled over you, “Andy, thanks for watching over our baby while we’re gone.”

Andy winks at you, “I won’t hover, I promise. If you need anything, at any time, I’m right next door, okay? Better yet, let me give you my number.”

You nod quick, clearing your throat as you fumble around with your phone, pulling it out of your hoodie and handing it over to him, “Sure, yeah. Th-thank you, Mr. Barber.”

“Andy,” he corrects, reaching out and cupping your elbow gently, “Please.”

Another warmth spreads through you, emanating from the contact, making you giggle and smile nervously like a stupid girl before you get a hold of yourself and blink away. You all exchange another round of pleasantries, Andy wishing your parents a safe trip before he locks eyes with you again— biting his lip as he blinks and hands your phone back before turning away and heading towards his mailbox.

Almost frozen in place, you blink as you watch him move across his grass, forcefully swallowing. You really need to get out more.

One last hug from your mom and dad and you wave as they pull out of the driveway, your mom waving excitedly at you through the windshield. Rolling your eyes, but smiling wide, you return a wave before heading back inside, locking the door behind you before making a brisk b-line to the front door.

Andy’s still outside, pushing the green trash cans up against his garage as you peek out at him from behind the thin, white, door curtains. He throws open one of the lids before dipping his head, eyeing the mail in his hand as he flips through it slowly, tossing the junk into the open can. A pink blush piques on his cheeks and the tip of his nose, lips red with the chill. He looks up suddenly— out of nowhere— and cocks his head, letting another smile curl onto his lips when the two of you make eye contact again.

You gasp and jump back, instantly turning on your heel to run up the stairs towards your bedroom, “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!”

The smell of fresh baked cookies fills the house as you pull a pan from the oven. You hum in satisfaction, a small smile on your face as you scoop the sugar cookies onto the cooling rack before pulling your mom’s Santa Claus mittens off your hands and tossing them to the counter. Last Christmas by Wham plays from the small bluetooth speaker in the corner of the kitchen, A Charlie Brown Christmas on mute playing from the ipad leaning against the utensil holder.

There’s a random crackling from the fire you started in the living room as you move around, a whir from the mixer as it beats the eggs, powdered sugar, vanilla extract, and corn syrup together. You dip your finger into the mixture, popping it into your mouth and groaning as the sweetness explodes on your tongue before you pull the beaters out, slipping your finger down the stainless steel to collect the icing still stuck to them.

A knock sounds from the front door, permeating through the rather quiet house. You lean to the side, blinking at the door as a shadow shifts through the windows on either side. Shoving the icing laden finger into your mouth, you jog towards the door, bare feet heavy against the wood floor.

“One second, one second,” you mumble, wiping your hands on your pale pink cotton shorts before you tug at your hoodie and unlock the door. A sharp inhale of cold air fills your chest when you pull open the door to find one Andy fucking Barber standing on the opposite side, “Oh,” is all you can manage.

“Hey,” he smiles, “It’s been a few days, just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Being a biomedical engineering student, you can rattle off some of the most difficult, obscure words known to man with exactly zero problems. When it comes to social interaction with the hot, forty-something, lawyer next door? Your tongue is heavy, your brain… dumb.

His smile widens as you blink like a moron, his eyebrows climbing up his forehead as he waits for you to talk. Here’s the part where you speak, dumbass! “Um,” you stutter, “Sorry, I, uh, yeah, I’m okay. I’m good, sorry.”

“Smells good in here.”

Nodding, you bite your lip, your eyes everywhere but on his face— his stare just too much, “I’m making cookies.” you glance over your shoulder before you point, “Do you want to make some? I mean,” you slam your eyes closed, “Do you want to try some? Not, some, one, do you— do you want to try one? Or some… I guess… whatever.”

Idiot. You’re a bumbling, stumbling, idiot.

He chuckles, the rumble low and deep as he runs one of those big ass hands through his dark, soft looking hair, “That is the best offer I’ve had all day.”

He steps over the threshold, his fingers brushing over yours as he reaches to close the door. You snatch your hand from it quickly, wringing it within the other as you turn awkwardly and move towards the kitchen, swallowing hard, suddenly hyper aware of how bare your legs are.

“It’s Christmas Eve,” Andy starts from behind you, “I’m surprised to find you here and not out with some friends.”

You move behind the marble topped island in the center of the kitchen as Andy walks around the opposite side. His eyes are on you again, staring as you fumble with the spatula, your fingers going as dumb as your brain, dropping it with a loud clang. You don’t even know why— okay, you know why, but this is something deeper, something you haven’t experienced before.

“Oh,” you shrug, “No, I uh, I just kinda like to stay around the house.”

He nods slowly, “A homebody, huh? Me too.”

He makes you dizzy; his masculinity is intimidating. It fills up every little space in the room. His intelligence— worldly, experienced—  oozes from him. He looks like you could ask him anything, anything, and he’d have the right answer for you. He could teach you a thing or two, that’s for sure.

A shudder creeps through your body, heat blooming across your skin, having to shift on your feet as your stomach flutters while you focus on icing this stupid cookie. The physical space he takes up unnerves you too. That wide, towering frame looming over you. Deft, thick fingers tapping gently against the countertop as you stumble around, your hands shaky.

There’s a stickiness. A warm, little wet spot in the center of your panties as stupid thoughts run through your stupid brain. You’re being ridiculous. Like this grown man would be interested in an inexperienced, socially awkward, in bed by eight thirty, little girl. Get a grip.

You slather some icing over the warm cookie and cautiously hand it towards him, clearing your throat and forcing a smile. Wringing your hands again, you find a little courage to lift your eyes just as he pops the small cookie into his mouth, closing his eyes as he chews slowly, a grunt sounding from deep in his throat.

Every muscle in your body clenches at the sound. It’s gorgeous— and if there’s anything your body appreciates, it’s a gorgeous man with a gorgeous grunt.

“It’s okay?” You squeak, timid and small before you nervously clear your throat.

“Shit, girl,” he moans again, licking his lips as he extends his hand again, “I could eat every single one of these.”

Nervous fingers clutch another cookie, adding a dollop of icing before you hand it over to him, eyes drifting up his chest and to his face as he devours the second treat. Your curious eyes watch with a longing. Pretty, thick, dark eyelashes closing again, splashing across smooth, slightly reddened cheeks. A pink tongue darts out of a wet mouth to slip along an inviting— too inviting— bottom lip, and you zero in on it. Chest rising and falling a little harder as you blink, in your own little world as you imagine just how much experience those lips, that tongue has.

There’s a hint of blue suddenly, his eyes no longer closed, now set squarely on you as those sickenly perfect white teeth emerge with another sly smile.

Another wave of embarrassment pushes through your veins, but you can’t look away from him this time. Locked in a heated stare, mind racing, palms sweaty as you watch Andy dip his index finger into the bowl of icing, scooping the sugary mix onto the pad of his digit.

“You like watching me, huh?”

Your mouth parts to answer, but nothing comes out, mouth and throat suddenly dry. He laughs at you, standing there, dumb and nervous, unable to form a coherent sentence as he pushes the tip of his finger into his mouth, sucking the icing from it slowly.

He’s moving, that much your brain can comprehend. Moving around the island, sliding the bowl of icing right to the edge where he dips his finger again, curling it to collect another glob.

Shallow, shaky breaths escape the small part in your lips, your chest and stomach so tight you’re surprised you can breathe at all. As it is, you have to rest your palm against the marble island, just to keep from falling over.

A long arm slips around your waist, nudging you forward— closer— so close that when one of those shallow, little breaths pushes out, your chest, well, your tits, brush against his. You picked a fine day to go without a bra. He drops his free hand to your waist, pushing it underneath your oversized hoodie to feel your skin as he wraps those long fingers around your hip, giving it a squeeze before he cups your chin.

“You have a boyfriend back at that fancy ass school?” He asks, eyes hooded as he tilts your head upward.

A hum vibrates through your chest before there’s a quick shake of your head as he pushes the icing over your bottom lip, smearing the sugary mix along it. He keeps your chin anchored in his hand as he stares down at you through slits, his own mouth dropping open as he coaxes yours.

“No, a smart girl like you doesn’t have time for boys, does she?” He purrs, “You probably haven’t even been touched by a boy.”

A squeak chokes in your throat as he teases you, pushing that finger back and forth, the tip pushing ever so gently into your mouth. He chuckles again, real low, menacing almost as he knows he has you right where he wants you.

“Ya know,” he starts, thumbs stroking your chin and jaw, “This Christmas cookie frosting would taste a hundred times better on you than my finger.” He smiles again, tilting his head, “Can I see?”

You mewl, pitiful and small as emotion pools in your eyes. You’re overwhelmed— nervous and unsure, wanting to be perfect. Womanly— but surely falling flat.

“Oh, baby,” he laughs, sweeping his thumbs underneath your eyes to catch the hot streaks, “Awww, it’s okay.”

Andy pushes in close, his lips brushing yours as he nuzzles his nose into the crook of yours, a low sound thrumming in his throat. He presses his cheek against your face, the soft hair of his beard pushing along your skin, goosebumps popping up all over. Your bodies start to sway in a slow rhythm, side to side, his warm breath washing over you as he smiles.

He pulls away, eyes traveling your face, “You haven’t even been kissed before?” When you don’t answer, he closes his eyes, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth, “No? Oh, my sweet girl. That is just,” he groans, eyes twinkling with an emotion you don’t even understand, “You are so perfect— so good.”

His forehead comes to rest on yours, his hands still corralling your face, fingers sticky. His tongue darts out quick, licking at your lips, dragging up to the tip of your nose. You shudder, bleating as the rough velvet passes over your mouth.

Andy moans again, sucking the icing into his mouth and swallows slow, “Yum.”

You’re jittery— clammy, as labored breaths push out of your mouth, a murky fog clouding your brain. Shaky whirs tremble through your chest as you shift on your feet, your panties sticking to your now throbbing pussy. Andy closes the distance between your mouths again, his eyes hooded as he nips at you.

Your eyes flutter, closing instinctively— waiting for the claim. It doesn’t come, not right away, making your eyes pop open, a childish whine squeaking out. You even stomp your foot a little. Twenty years is a long enough wait.

“Kiss me,” you breathe, not wasting a second, “Please, Andy—”

The words are barely out of your mouth before he grabs your lips, inhaling deep. His tongue fucks into your mouth, slipping along the roof before massaging yours, sucking lightly. You go limp against him, trying to keep up with the fervent kiss, but soon just let him take full control.

Andy pushes his hips into yours, pressing his hard cock against you, forcing you to break the kiss, gasping deep. He rests his forehead on yours again, tittering as he bites his bottom lip, “Never felt that before, huh? Mmmm,” he groans again, “I bet you feel good. So tight and warm— umph, I’m probably not even going to be able to fit my cock all in.”

You shudder at the thought.

He brushes the tip of his nose against yours, “I gotta open you up a bit, don’t I? Hmm? This sweet little cunt needs to get used to being stuffed full.” He turns you in his hands, presses his burly chest into your back, his lips to your ear, “I want you to finish icing these cookies like a good girl, okay? You do as daddy says.”

You don’t move, you can’t really, as you try to comprehend what’s going on. It takes Andy pushing his crotch into your ass, grinding your hips against the island and literally grabbing your wrists, making your hands grab the butter knife and a cookie before your brain catches up. With shaky fingers, you push the knife through the icing and slather it on one of the small, round, golden brown cookies.

“Good girl,” he praises, pecking your cheek, nuzzling into the side of your face, “Daddy wants you to focus.”

He drags his warm palms up your forearms, stroking gently before they fall to your sides. They push up into your hoodie, fingertips glancing across sensitive, untouched skin. Small laughter vibrates through his chest as you jump and gasp, huffing and keening as he explores.

Little kisses are pressed to your temple and side of your face as his hands venture up your sides, curling around your rib cage until he’s grasping your bare tits in both hands, squeezing and kneading— hissing as he grinds his rigidly hard cock into your ass.

You freeze, body going stiff as nimble fingers play with your thick, piqued nipples. Warm lips nip at your neck as you push back into his hips, wiggling slowly, the thin cotton of your shorts not proving to be much of a barrier at all.

Andy reaches around, plucking the cookie out of your hand and pops it into his mouth just as his free hand skips down your stomach— right into your shorts. You jut your hips forward as his fingers plunge through your folds, massaging your clit slowly as he murmurs in your ear.

“That’s what I love about virgins. The slightest little touch gets you all worked up.” He pulls his hand from your shorts, holding it out for you to see your slick coating his fingers— a string connecting from his index finger to the middle. He brings his wet fingers to your lips, steel eyes peering at you as he waits, “Clean ‘em up.”

He slides his free hand back into your sweatshirt, pushing it up over your tits before he tweaks your left nipple, rolling it slow as he pushes the tips of his fingers into your mouth. Sweet, tiny little whines sound from you as you accept his long fingers into your mouth, starting to suck gently, the taste of your arousal exploding on your tongue.

“That’s right, just like that baby.” He reassures, slipping a hand back into your panties.

Your mouth goes slack around his fingers as he toys with you, rubbing your achy clit as your hips start to move with his rhythm. Resting your weight against his sturdy body, you moan loud, pushing out hard breaths, eyes slipping closed, head rolling on his shoulder as his wet fingers slip from your mouth back to your left nipple.

His fingers start to tease your slit, pushing gently, slowly, until… a sharp yelp fills the kitchen as two fingers stuff you full. Andy wraps his arm around your waist, holding you to him, cooing in your ear as he continues to push in, “You’re okay baby. I know, I know sweet girl, we’re almost there. Just a bit more.”

Tears sting your eyes as your face strains from the pressure and pain of being spread for the first time. Once his fingers have disappeared, the heel of his palm pressing against your folds and clit, he pulls your chin towards him and licks at your mouth, sucking air in between his teeth.

“I can’t wait to fuck this sweet pussy,” he kisses you quick and hard, sucking your bottom lip into his mouth before he releases you with a loud smack, “I love a virgin cunt. It’s been a while since I’ve had one.”

You squeak when his fingers start to move, slow, deep, a squelch sounding as his fingers push into your muscles. It hurts, but there’s a twinge of good, something inside of you being pleasured once you push past the pain. The sweet taste of pleasure doesn’t stop the tears from rolling down your cheeks as his fingers pick up a brisk pace.

Andy growls in your ear, the sound scratching at the back of his throat, kind of hollow and breathy as he grinds his cock into your ass, “You havent fucked yourself like this before? I didn’t think I’d hurt you this bad with just my fingers, baby.”

A hot, rough wetness slides along your cheek, his tongue, lapping at you. You grab onto his forearm, feeling his muscles tense and flex as he fingers your innocence, digging your nails into the thick Shetland wool sweater covering his torso. He pushes deep, suddenly, making you cry out again.

He grunts, snaking his hand up into your hoodie to take a firm hold of your tit. Resting his forehead to the back of your head, he quickens his fingers, his hot breath on the back of your neck, quick swipes of his tongue and lips against your hypersensitive skin— making the miniscule hairs on your body stand on end.

His palm presses against your clit with each shove of his fingers. Strapping, hard chest flattened to your back, loud, husky moans in your ear. His hips roll and push, writhe into yours as his fingers start to thrash. Teeth sink into your shoulder, his tongue sliding and sweeping.

“Andy—” you cry, whimpering like a child, “It hurts. I— I can’t,”

“Oh, sweetheart.” His fingers slow and then stop, pulling out of you to rub your clit, soothing the balmy flesh. He turns you around in his arms as you cry, lifting you right from your feet, “I’m sorry. Shh, shh, I’m sorry, baby.”

The instant warmth of his mammoth chest and arms soothe the tumultuous pangs of anxiety coursing through you. Nuzzling in, the softness of his beard helps ease your nerves as you wrap two jelly arms around his neck. Andy’s big hands push up and down your back as he murmurs sweet nothings. Stomach tight, heart fluttering, face hot and wet with tears— you’re properly overwhelmed and overstimulated, and Andy could just eat it all up.

“You are so pretty when you cry, you know that? You did so good, baby. You took my fingers so well.”

You huff, disappointed, pushing your face deeper into his neck, “I’m sorry.”

“Hey, don’t do that,” he whispers, “It’s okay to not be ready.” He sits you back on your feet, pulling and adjusting your sweatshirt back over your chest. He pecks your lips quick before cupping your face in his hands, “It’s gonna make our first time together so much better.”

He pushes in to kiss you again, but stops, just as his lips brush yours. You get up on your tiptoes, wanting to meet his mouth but he’s quick, pulling away and stealing another cookie as he takes a step back.

“Thanks for the cookies, sweetheart.”

And just like that, with a wink and a smile, he’s moving out of the kitchen, the front door slamming behind him.

It might as well be the middle of a Texas summer heatwave in your bedroom. Exasperated, you throw the covers away from your body, skin slick with sweat as you wipe at your forehead. You’ve been like this all day— hot and irritated, stomach and mind jumbled, unable to focus on much of anything but thoughts of depravity. Pissed off at yourself more than anything; that you couldn’t take it all.

You sit up in the dark room, a sliver of moonlight spilling in from behind the thin curtains over your window. Snow flakes float down from the sky, glimmering, basking in the soft, natural light of the moon. Thoughts of Andy return. Reddened, full lips on your face, his soft, velvety, pink tongue forging its own path in the uncharted territory that is your mouth. His hands, big and warm, pinching and grabbing, pushing in deep.

Every muscle in your body clenches; achy cunt squeezing around nothing.

A soft light illuminates from the nightstand, followed by a buzz, a random alert from your twitter. But then, oh but then— Andy’s words come floating back to you. Better yet, let me give you my number. The sleek iphone is in your hand within seconds, fingers sliding over the keyboard, shooting off a text.

You 1:15am

You up?

Andy B. 1:17am

What’s a smart girl like you doing up so late on Christmas Eve?

An influx of air fills your lungs as your heart leaps.

You 1:17am

I can’t sleep…

Andy B. 1:18am

Want me to help with that?

You won’t be getting much sleep tho…

You 1:18am

That’s what I’m hoping…

Andy B. 1:19am

LOL, okay smarty pants, come wait for Santa with me, front door’s open

You’re already halfway down the stairs by the time his invite slides across the screen. You shove your feet into your Ugg boots at the bottom of the staircase and grab your jacket from the coat rack, pushing into it as you throw open the front door. Crossing your arms over your chest, you jog down the steps of the porch and start for Andy’s, an instant chill rattling right down to your bones.

Footprints in the snow follow you as you cross the lawn, a light crunch sounding underneath your feet, adding to the whoosh of a breeze that rips through the sleepy street. Once you’re on Andy’s porch, you reach for the door, pushing through the threshold and closing it softly with a click.

The house is dark, and quiet, a tiny point of light coming from the kitchen and the random ticks of a clock somewhere deep. Your jacket hits the floor, ugg boots thump against the wall as you kick them off, hand slides along the banister as you climb the stairs slow. Wide eyes adjust to the dark as you pad slowly down the long hall, passing by one closed door, and then another until you reach one that’s slightly ajar. Light spills out of it, splashing over your bare toes as you step right up to it, fingertips pushing against the door.

You find Andy propped up against his headboard, chest bare, legs spread— hard, pink cock sticking out of his boxers, gripped tight in his hand. He flips his eyes to yours as he strokes himself slow, pushing his hips into it, groaning at the sight of you.

The air in your body— the room— is sucked right out as you lock eyes. With a blink, your greedy eyes are on the move, down his hair smattered chest and chiseled stomach, over the dark blue boxer briefs, down his meaty thighs and toned calves, right to his curled toes and back up again.

You have to bite your lip to keep quiet.

“I’ve been,” the words out of his mouth come to a halt being replaced by a low grunt as he squeezes his cock, precum dribbling out of his slit, “Shit sweetheart, I’ve been thinking about you all day. Haven’t been able to cum since you left me all worked up.”

You bleat softly, blinking wild and nervous as you watch his hand slide up and down, palm and fingers sweeping over his mushroom head to collect the droplets of his arousal to push it down his shaft.

“Well, come on. Come touch me.”

It’s a good thing your feet aren’t as stupid as your brain, or else you’d still be standing in place. Before you can get your mind to catch up, you're pulling yourself towards the edge of the bed, falling forward, catching yourself with your hands. Crawling between his legs, your tank top hangs low, Andy’s eyes peering down your cleavage before you sit on your knees— hands trembling.

He reaches for you, grabbing your wrist gently, pulling your hand towards his towering cock. Guiding you slow, he wraps your hand around him, his hips jerking soft at the warmth of your palm and pushes your hand down to his base, before dragging it up to the tip. He helps you for a few more strokes, twisting your hand around him, guiding your fingers up over his cock head and then back down, squeezing your hand to apply a gentle pressure.

“That’s right, baby—ah—” he hisses, jutting his hips up into your hand, “Shit.”

You continue to pump him after his hand falls away, relishing in the small noises that sound from him— sending your heart soaring. His hips pulse into your hand, eyes fluttering as more cum bubbles out, slipping and sliding over your fingers. Andy reaches for the lamp on the nightstand, turning it out, covering the room in darkness except for the moon.

He’s beautiful like this. Chest tight and shuddering with each breath, dark eyelashes splayed over fair skin, a chorus of sweet, small little whines and praise pouring from him. A soft pink blush unfurling over his broad chest, creeping up his neck.

“Fuck baby,” breathless and strained, “You’re a fuckin’ pro already. My smart little girl.” You suck your bottom lip into your mouth but still can’t help the smile that tugs at the corners, “Oh, you like that?” Andy smiles lazily, “You like being my smart little girl?”

Hot lips are on yours before you can even form your mouth to answer. Flipped onto your back, strong hips digging into yours, his cock pushing against your covered clit and slit as he kisses you hard. It takes your breath away.

You’d always thought you’d be awkward, stiff and unknowing, once you finally reached this moment— nothing but teeth and elbows and knees in all the wrong places— but, there’s a natural instinct coming into play. You’re lost, but somehow intricately aware. Fingers creep up his biceps and curl around his shoulder blades, digging in as your hips push back into his. Mouth leans into the feverish kisses, tongue sliding with his.

Colossal hands push into your shorts, pushing them down before his feet knock them off the rest of the way. Your top is rucked up, up over your breasts, exposing more brown skin, two soft, jiggling mounds, two piqued nipples soon sucked into a warm, wet mouth. A long middle finger toys with your clit, rubbing circles before more fingers join, slipping through slick and skin as they play.

“Tell me,” hot, whispered words sting in your ear, “Tell me you like being my smart girl.”

Hips dig into yours once more, hard cock pushing against your sensitive nub, then pressing at your opening. You grab the back of his neck, moaning hard and loud as electricity bounces through your veins, “Andy—” you squeak, “I like—”

A sharp cry breaks through the words as Andy pushes hard, spearing you for the very first time. Pressure and pain courses through you, body going tight and stiff as he sinks deeper and deeper, large palms on your cheeks, forehead to yours, warm breaths and ragged, choked grunts washing over your face.

Hard kisses— one, two, three— on your lips as he holds your face, his eyes closed, mouth hanging as he sinks, sinks, sinks until you’ve taken him all. Your head is empty. Devoid of any real, coherent thoughts, unable to focus on any one thing; well, nothing other than the fullness.

“Tell me you like being my smart girl.” Andy rasps, sucking his bottom lip between his teeth, trying to keep himself together. He shifts, hips pulling away from yours, cock dragging out, “Come on baby, tell me you like it.”

Andy pushes his hips, pushes back into you, but real gentle and smooth, knowing you’re teetering— overwhelmed in more ways than one, a feeling that can turn south on a dime. So, he keeps his hands on your face, thumbs rubbing soft circles. He opens his eyes, giving you something to focus on as he moves gently— so, so gently. Keeping you present.

“Use those words, sweet girl. Talk to me.”

Water fills your eyes as you grip, nails biting into the meat of his sides as he fucks you slow and sweet. Heat burns through you, tiny sounds, choked sobs scratch at the back of your throat, but it’s good— feels so good. Your legs push up and around his waist, hands start to snake up his sinewy back, feeling the muscles flex and tighten as he makes you a woman— makes you his.

Safe. Warm. Cocooned between his heavy body and the light mattress. Hips rolling, pushing and pulling. Hot breath over hot skin. Quick, jumbled words, thick and ripe with a heady lust. You like being his smart girl. Gripping fingers, around your face, your wrists, your tits, hips, thighs, ankles— everywhere you could possibly imagine.

Andy flips you over suddenly, his back now pressed into the mattress as you lay on top of him. He positions you right where he wants you— sitting you up straight, positioning your hands against his brawny chest. He encases your waist with those massive hands, squeezing tight before the pads of his fingers drag along your thighs as you wiggle, getting used to the new position.

“Push up— that’s right, sweetheart,” he sighs softly as you follow his direction, “Now sit back down— slowly, baby, go slow.” His head falls back on the pillows as he exhales, a groan trembling through his chest, “God, yeah babe. Good girl. Up and down, up and down.”

Your fingers push through the tuft of soft, dark hair covering his chest as you ride him, lifting and sitting, rolling and bucking as you get a hang of it— catch a feel— your clit rubbing against his taut skin. You feel Andy trying to keep his composure, feel him trying to restrain himself, his hips. Watch his eyes flutter and close as his mouth goes slack again as he pushes up into you, meeting your increasingly greedy thrusts downward.

“I’m your smart girl,” you whisper, heart beating hard and fast in your chest as your confidence grows, “I’ve always wanted to be your smart girl.”

He jams up into you, much harder than anything you’ve felt so far.

A sharp yelp cracks into the silence and he grabs your wrists, runs his hands up your arms, before he cups your face, “Shhh, shhh, shhh, I’m sorry baby. I didn’t know it was gonna sound so sweet,” he laughs, “God, I fucking love hearing you say that.”

He drops a hand back to your chest, grabbing a handful of your tit, toying with your nipple, pinching and pulling. His other hand wraps around your hip again, helping to pull you forward, as he thrusts soft. You don’t move; you just let him fuck up into you, grab his hands and thread your fingers with his as you bounce.

Thrusts get faster; hips hurried, jabbing. Wet rasps fill the room, octaves soaring. You fall forward a little, unclasping his hands to catch yourself against his chest. Andy’s hands are back around your waist and hips as you fuck down onto him, chasing that little, dull ache in the pit of your stomach that grows with each push of his hips.

Andy has two full handfuls of your ass, growling loud, hips faltering— losing control as he forces you down on him. You take each hard thrust, tears spilling down your cheeks, pleasure and pain all wrapped up into one. Sweat and heat crawls along your skin, stomach goes tight, throat dries. You dig your fingers into his chest as your toes curl, whimpering and crying out, choking as the pressure builds.

You tighten— freeze quick, gasp hard as a white hot orgasm floods your veins, like a molten lava, oozing, spreading. Flattening yourself to Andy’s chest, you let him wrap his arms around your back and hold you tight as he fucks you through it. The meat of his thighs slapping against yours, your cunt sounding wet and filthy, squelching and convulsing as you come.

There’s another heat, quick and dense, filling you as Andy’s grunts grow deeper. His grip on your ass tightens as he spurts— your used cunt coaxing long, hot ribbons of white silk from his sensitive, red cock head. He falls out of you, dick wet and hard, pushing through your ass cheeks as his hips still churn out of habit and inherent instinct.

Hands are on your head, fingers wiping at your face and forehead, pushing hair away. You’re embarrassed— not sure why— and nuzzle into his neck, hiding your face as you tuck your hands into your chest protectively. Another laugh sounds from him, vibrates through you, as he kisses your forehead and rubs his bearded cheek against your face.

“You’re a sweet girl,” honeyed, his voice, smooth and sweet, slow drags of his hands up and down your back lulling you, calming you, suddenly nervous, “My sweet, smart little baby. You okay?” you nod, but it isn’t good enough, “Tell me.”

“I’m okay.” You sniffle, eyelashes clumped, cheeks wet, lips swollen and red.

You nuzzle into him more, taking a deep breath as you listen to his heartbeat. Another silence fills the room, Andy’s breaths soon turn deep, slow and rhythmic, his hands and fingers coming to a slow stop but still splayed out over your back. A quick press of your lips against his neck makes him shift, but doesn’t wake him. You press another on his chin before you settle down into him once more, watching as snow starts to fall again.

There’s a Christmas present sitting at the edge of the bed when you wake the next morning, your name scrawled out on the name tag. You tear into it, pulling out a small white box, the name LELO embossed over the top. Eyebrows firmly furrowed, you turn it over in your hand, mouth falling open as you read the description and eye the two twenty karat gold Ben Wa beads.

Andy appears in the doorway, a steaming cup in his hand, a smile on his face, “Merry Christmas. Santa came for you, huh?”

“Merry Christmas,” you glance away, “I don’t have anything for you.”

“That’s okay,” he shrugs, “I was a bit presumptuous after our little rendezvous in the kitchen— ordered those from Amazon yesterday.” He pads towards you, leaning down to kiss you quick before he hands you the hot mug, “Are you okay?”

A nervous giggle escapes through your lips, your head falling as you cover your mouth with your hand, “Mmhmm.”

Andy tips your head back upwards, pushing his index finger underneath your chin, smiling again before he kisses you all sweet and soft and slow, making you go all stupid and gooey again.

“What are these for?” You ask after he pulls away a few moments later.

His eyes twinkle in the sunlight as he winks, “Training. Now, lay back and spread your legs for daddy, little one.”

[the-iceni-bitch]

Every Little Thing

Pairing: Colin Shea x fem!Reader

Words: ~4.3k

Summary: You and Colin are two slutty pea in a pod neighbors, but maybe you could be more?

Warnings: explicit language, explicit sexual content (fingering, f receiving oral sex, unprotected vaginal sex), idiots in love, excessive alcohol consumption, SMUT!!! 18+ ONLY!!!!

A/N: Ugh, I love Colin and I can’t believe it took me so long to write him. Before I get a bunch of notes about it, they’re gonna realize their feelings eventually but it might take a couple fics because they’re both morons, but they’re pretty morons so it’s fine 😉

Check out my masterlist and join my taglist if you want!!!

Divider by @firefly-graphics

Oh god, what the fuck was that noise? Why was your phone ringing at 8 AM on a fucking Sunday?

You picked up the offensive object and growled when you got a look at the caller ID.

“Colin, it’s Sunday morning, this had better be really good. I didn’t get home until 4 AM.”

“She won’t fucking leave.” He hissed over the line. “She wants to go out for waffles.”

“I fail to see how this is my problem.” You grumbled, rolling over onto your back and flinging your arm over your eyes. “Just ditch her at the fucking waffle place.”

“C’mon, Y/N, that’s like a second date. What about our deal?” That fucking deal, he definitely benefitted more from it than you did.

“You’re an asshole.” You mumbled, sitting up with an exhausted groan. “Gimme 5 minutes.”

“You’re the best!” You could hear the fucking grin in his voice and rolled your eyes at him.

“Yeah, I fucking know.” You didn’t wait for him to confirm before you hung up on him, stretching your whole body as you moved to put on some clothes.

It only took you a few minutes to pull on some old jeans and a sweatshirt and then you were stomping across the hall to Colin’s apartment, determined to make this as uncomfortable as possible for him. 

“Colin Shea!” You pounded on the door viciously. “This is your wife! I found your little love nest! What hooker do you have in there now?”

You couldn’t help but grin to yourself as you heard a commotion from inside, someone was cursing up a storm and you were pretty sure you heard a couple of slaps.

“I can hear you in there.” You tried to make it sound like you were on the verge of tears. “What about Colin Junior? I’m not raising that baby on my own, you bastard!”

The door slammed open and a very angry looking woman stormed out, shooting a glare over her shoulder and calling Colin a motherfucker as she scurried down the stairs. He came rushing after her with a frustrated look on his face, rubbing the side of his jaw and scowling when he got a look at the shit eating grin on your face.

“My wife?” He asked incredulously, grabbing his hoodie and pulling it over his naked torso as you just continued laughing at him. “That was kinda mean.”

“8 AM on a Sunday, Shea.” You booped his nose with your finger and winked at him before turning to head back to your place. “You wake me up before 10 AM on a weekend and you take what you can get. I’m going back to bed.”

“Wait, Y/N, don’t you wanna have breakfast or something?” He jogged after you, ignoring the glower you shot him as you opened your door. “I’ll make you my famous eggs.”

“Did you not hear me when I said I got in at 4 AM?” You frowned at him when he kept you from closing your front door. “Colin, quit being so clingy. If I wanted to have breakfast with some annoying dude I would’ve actually brought that lawyer from last night home.”

“A lawyer, huh?” He was giving you one of those stupid looks that he typically reserved for girls he was trying to bang but that he definitely knew didn’t work on you. “And that didn’t even do it for you.”

“I mean, I still rode that beard for a good hour, but he was super depressing.” You kept knocking your door against his foot with an annoyed air. “Which is why I need to sleep, so get out of my fucking doorway.”

“Fine, we’re hanging out later though!” He called as you slammed the door in his face.

You just ripped off your clothes and crawled back into bed, burying your face in your pillows and cursing the sun as you did your best to fall back asleep.

It must have happened at some point, because you woke up six hours later with a mouth full of cotton and absolutely drenched in sweat. Why was it so fucking hot?

The pillow case tried to come with your face when you rolled out of the bed and you threw it away from you with a huff as you padded to inspect your air conditioner. 

It wasn’t on. You knelt in front of it and whined as you tried flicking it off and on and nothing happened. This could not be happening, not with summer just about to start. It was supposed to be in the 90s today. No matter what you tried, it didn’t turn on. Granted, all you tried was unplugging it and plugging it back in, but that always worked with your computer.

The call to the repair company was no luck, they were closed for the weekend. This was going to suck, you fucking hated being hot. You moved to your kitchen to try to find some way to cool off after opening every damn window in your place to hopefully get some kind of air circulation going.

That’s when you spotted it. 

The frozen margarita machine you had bought on an absinthe fueled online shopping spree and never gotten around to returning. It was like a little miracle right there in your kitchen, designed to help you cool off and get drunk so you could forget about how fucking hot it was while you did the week’s worth of chores you had been procrastinating.

You hummed happily when that first gulp of frozen tequila goodness slid down your throat, and maybe you shouldn’t have chugged the whole thing but who fucking cared, it was hot. Time flew by as you downed those things like it was your fucking job, scrubbing your pots and pans and singing little songs to yourself.

Music started drifting through your open windows but you barely registered it even as you started singing along because it was Queen and how could you not.

It was the third time you had filled that margarita machine and you were feeling fantastic, dancing around your kitchen as you continued cleaning your dishes. Whoever was playing music was still going strong and you began belting when they started doing Seven Seas of Rhye.

“You are mine, I possess you, I belong to you foreveeeEEER!”

“Hey, Y/N!”

Your badass high note devolved into a shriek and you turned to chuck the cup you were holding at the intruder on the fire escape, cursing when you saw it was Colin. He managed to duck out of the way at the last second with a muttered fuck and you sighed as you watched your mug sail over his shoulder.

“Fuck, Shea, that was my favorite mug!” You pouted, stamping your foot a little and taking another gulp of your margarita. “What the fuck are you doing on my fire escape?”

He gave you a stupid cocky grin as he watched to try to lean on one hand on your counter and almost go down when you missed it at the last second.

“Are you drunk, honey?” Fuck him for calling you honey, that wiley asshole. “We could hear you singing from the roof.”

“I’m just a little buzzed.” You hiccupped. “Who’s we?”

“My band.” He crawled into your apartment and caught you when you tripped over your own feet again, still grinning at you like an idiot. “The ones you were singing along with.”

“That was your band?” You had never realized how blue his eyes were. “You guys sound great!”

“Yeah, you sound pretty good yourself.” He grabbed the cup you were holding and gave it a sniff, coughing a little before he set it on the counter. “Maybe you should come hang out with us instead of drinking what I think is blended jet fuel and ice all by yourself.”

“If I’m gonna hang out with you guys I think I should bring a pitcher of margs.” He was really fucking pretty, had you noticed that before? “Don’t wanna be a bad hostess.”

“Oh, baby, you’re wasted.” He tucked a stray lock of hair behind your ear and you felt your chest flutter a little bit. “No more margs for you. Come sing with us while you sober up. No, no.” He pulled you back when you tried to crawl out the window and started dragging you towards your door. “Ladder doesn’t really seem like a good idea right now, let’s take the stairs.”

You tossed your head back as you laughed, slapping his chest while you leaned heavily on him and let him guide you through the hall and to the stairs to the roof. Those were some firm pecs, you were a little marvelled at the way your palm just bounced right off so you slapped it again.

“Wow.” It was like your hand was moving independently from your brain as you gave him a pretty brazen squeeze. “Your tits are fantastic, Colin.”

“Holy shit, Y/N!” He was laughing hysterically when he shoved the door to the roof open. “Your drunk game is on point sweetie. Guys, this is Y/N, the killer vocals you heard from downstairs. She’s a little tipsy.”

They introduced themselves and you promptly forgot all of their names, your hand trailing down Colin’s chest until you could press it against his abs. This was getting weird, it’s not like you hadn’t seen him naked before. But seeing and touching were apparently two very different things.

“We still doing Queen, boys?” You said, finally tearing your eyes away from Colin after poking him in the bellybutton and grinning when he made a noise like the Pillsbury doughboy. “Cos I’m good with whatever.”

“What about some Journey?” He slung his SG over his shoulder and watched you carefully as you grabbed the mike one of his bandmates was handing you. “You wanna sit down, hon?”

“Don’t call me hon, sweetheart.” You teased, giving him a wink and tapping the mike a couple of times. “I’ll be fine. Journey feels a little basic but ok. Faithfully or Lovin’ Touchin’ Squeezin’?”

That grin he gave you should not have been affecting you like this, maybe you did have too many margaritas. The bassist started playing the opening riff to Lovin’ Touchin’ Squeezin’ and your grin got even wider, your hips moving to the beat as you kept your eyes on Colin. You laughed happily when he joined in with the guitar part, joining in after the piano had done its thing and losing yourself in the music.

He could not take his eyes off of you, he was pretty sure you’d never been this fucking cheerful around him before. Not that you were especially grumpy or anything, or that your typical dry wit didn’t immediately endear you to him. But seeing you with that goofy grin as you sang every fucking Journey song they had in their roster until the sun set was not helping the already prodigious crush he had on you. 

Now the two of you were sitting on the couch he had dragged up there months ago and watching his bandmates pack up their gear, saying goodbye to each of them as they headed down the stairs and left you two to lean against each other and sigh happily. You had your legs flung over his lap as he plucked at his guitar strings lazily, kicking your feet slowly and leaning back on the sofa as you watched him closely and sipped on a bottle of water.

“You ever do any actual performing, honey?” He asked, his fingers running over your calf absentmindedly. “Cos with that voice you could probably line up some gigs.”

“Just karaoke.” You murmured. You were definitely sobering up now, but you were still hyper aware of his hands on your skin and it was giving you some feelings you weren’t totally sure about. “Lemme see that thing.”

“What?” He gave a little huff when you grabbed the neck of his guitar and pulled it into your lap. “Baby, do not tell me you play.”

“I mean, it’s been a little while, but I think I remember a couple chords.” You gave him another grin and his chest started to hurt.

“Jesus, a couple chords?” He laughed to cover the absolutely filthy sound he almost made when you started playing, it was like he had made you on a computer. “Honey, that’s Led Zeppelin.”

“Yeah, but it’s easy Zeppelin.” You teased, turning your body so you could lean against his chest and not missing the low rumble you felt when you tucked your head against his shoulder. “It’s Coda.”

“Uh-huh.” Being this close to you was doing something to him, he suddenly had the overwhelming urge to smell your hair. 

“Why haven’t we slept together, Col?” Fuck it, you might as well do this.

He choked on the water he was drinking, turning his face so he didn’t spit it all over you as you stopped your playing and grinned at him.

“I seem to remember giving it a good try when you moved in.” He managed to get himself under control and turned his face back to you. “But you said you had a rule about not fucking people who live in the same building as you. Something about not shitting where you eat.”

“That’s about sex with coworkers.” You said, scrunching your face up as you tried to remember what your exact justification had been.

“Which is what I told you.” He tried to scoot away from you but you followed after him. “To which you replied, ‘doesn’t matter, not gonna happen’.”

“Huh, that seems awful short-sighted of me.” You scooted closer again and this time he let you. “C’mon, we’ve fucked almost everyone else in this city, we’d have gotten to each other eventually anyways.”

“Jesus, what a romantic sentiment.” He was trying to focus real hard on his softeners, but they weren’t working with you squirming against him like that. “You really want to do this?”

“I mean, I think we’d enjoy it.” You set his guitar aside and turned so your chest was pressed to his. “It’s not like we’re gonna catch feels, or anything. Just gonna see what all the fuss is about.”

“Right.” Maybe this would get his little crush out of his system. “Let’s not do it on the roof, though.”

“God, no. My place?” You stood up and started heading towards the fire escape.

“Yeah, ok.” He watched you climb down to your apartment before sliding down the ladder after you like the damn frat boy he was.

As soon as he climbed in the window you were dragging him towards you, swallowing his tiny cry of surprise when you pulled his mouth to yours. His lips were unbelievably soft against your own, and when he opened up and stroked your tongue with his? 

Fuck.

“Shit, Colin.” You purred when he started trailing his lips down your throat. “I feel like maybe we should’ve done this sooner.”

“Yeah, maybe.” His voice was muffled as his mouth moved to your chest, one hand moving to hook under the neckline of your camisole and pulling on it until your breasts popped out. “Well fuck me. No wonder you know so much about fantastic tits.”

You laughed at that, arching into his face and grinning down at him as he buried his face between your tits and gazed at you through his lashes. Those stupid, long as all fuck lashes that were brushing against your skin as he mouthed at your soft curves. 

“Jesus, fuck.” You wound your fingers through his hair when he dragged his tongue over your nipple, tugging on it softly and guiding him further into your apartment. “God, you really know how to use that mouth of yours, sweetie.”

“Oh, honey, you don’t even know.” He teased, moving his face back to yours and lifting you to wrap your legs around his waist as he started carrying you towards your bedroom.  “You wanna find out, though?”

“You tease all the girls you fuck this much?” You nipped at his lips and grinned when he moaned into your mouth, reaching behind you to open the door to your bedroom. 

“Nah, that’s just for you, baby.” He cooed, giving you a quick peck on the lips before dropping you on the bed with a huff.

Every place his fingers touched sent a jolt of heat through your body straight to your core, your eyes never leaving his as he started kissing and nipping his way down your torso after pulling your cami over your head. He grinned against your thigh when you moaned after he yanked your shorts down your legs, sucking a soft bruise into your flesh before rubbing his face over your clothed core and inhaling deeply.

You throbbed under his lips as he pressed gentle kisses over the fabric that covered your mound, hooking your legs over his shoulders and trying to grind into him when he tugged at your panties with his teeth and let them snap back into place teasingly. His fingers skimmed up your legs until he could hook them under the band of your panties and drag them off you, sighing heavily when he settled back between your thighs and got a good look at you.

“Fuck, you’re so pretty.” He spread you apart with his fingers and flicked his tongue out to run over your slit softly, moaning when he finally tasted you. 

“I bet you say that to all the girls.” You ran your fingers through his hair and beamed at him, rolling your hips against his face when he sucked your pussy lips into his mouth with a low hum.

Colin chuckled into your cunt at that, pressing gentle kisses all over your soft folds before dragging his tongue over you in a heavy stripe. Your body reacted immediately when he reached your clit, your back arching off the bed and your legs curling around his neck as he repeated the same process but at a much slower pace. 

Two of his fingers slid inside you as he wrapped his lips around your clit and you keened, gripping his hair by the roots and tugging hard when he started stretching you open while his lips drove you wild. The rhythm of his suction and release matched the curling of his fingers inside you and made you want to scream, your free hand reaching above your head and digging hard into your pillow as your body tried to rise off the bed when he brought you right to the edge of your peak right away. 

“Col, Colin, oh fuck.” He felt like your thighs were gonna suffocate him but those sounds you were making for him had him past the point of caring about a silly thing like oxygen. “Oh fuck, I’m gonna come.”

Your whole body seized against his face as you let out a gorgeous fluttering moan, soaking his lips and chin in your release as he hummed with satisfaction into your pussy. He sat up when you finally released him, removing his clothes in a rush as he watched you pant underneath him and run your tongue over your lips. God, you were fucking beautiful, he couldn’t believe he’d waited so long to do this.

Before you had a chance to say anything he was hooking your knee over his elbow and thrusting into you, sheathing himself to the hilt in one smooth motion and releasing his breath in a thin hiss when he felt your satiny walls flutter around him. 

“Ah, fuck, you feel amazing.” He ducked his face to catch your lips with his before pulling back with a groan. “Shit, I forgot a condom. Uh, I’m clean, just got tested last week.”

“God, you’re fine sweetie.” You brought a hand up to cup his jaw and ran a thumb over his cheek in a soothing gesture. “Also clean and I have an IUD, so we’re peachy. I am a little mad at you though.”

“Yeah, why?” He wasn’t too worried, you were still grinning at him as he started moving his hips slowly.

“Well, Jesus, fuck, you’re big.” You almost lost your train of thought when he tilted your hips just a bit and his cock hit you deep. “I usually like to reciprocate oral, sweetie. I barely even got a look at what you’re packing down there.”

“You’ve seen it before.” He groaned when you wrapped your free leg around his hips and rolled your body against his.

“Just glances though.” You gripped his biceps and dug your nails in, biting your lip as he continued dragging his length over every inch of you at an agonizing pace. “And never hard.”

“Honey, there’s no way I’m pulling out for you to take a good look so you’re gonna have to make due.” He teased, grinding against your clit and grinning when your eyes fluttered closed.

“Fine.” You huffed, frowning a little before winking at him. “We’re switching then.”

“What?”

You didn’t answer, just giving him a cocky grin and gripping his hips with your thighs. One quick move and he was under you, a small sound of surprise leaving his lips when you were suddenly straddling his hips and grinning down at him.

“Oh yeah, that’s better.” You placed one palm on the center of his chest and curled your fingers through his chest hair as you rose up on your knees before sinking down again nice and slow, loving the low groan you felt reverberate in his chest when you clenched around him. “Good for you, Col?”

“Yes, yeah, s’ good.” He was completely mesmerized by you, his eyes trailing over your body as you arched your back and continued to ride him. 

The way he was reacting to you was making it hard for you to focus on what you were doing, his eyes soft and relaxed on yours and his bottom lip tucked between his teeth as he slowly moved his hips to meet your own. You could’ve lost yourself in those eyes if you really wanted to.

Shit, none of that.

His fingers started trailing up your sides when he fucked up into you suddenly and he lost it at the way your tits bounced for him, sitting up with a whine and nuzzling into your chest before wrapping his lips around your nipple as he started bucking wildly.

“Shit, fuck, Colin.” He was hitting your cervix with each punch of his hips and it was taking all your self control to not pass out from how hard he was railing you, wrapping your legs around him and dragging your lips over his jaw. “Baby, you’re gonna make me come again.”

“Yeah? Good.” He cupped your jaw and brought your face back to his, tugging at your lips with his teeth while he gazed into your eyes. “I wanna watch your face while you come.”

You kept your eyes open and trained on his, worrying his bottom lip with your teeth and resting your forehead against his as you felt a warm coil gathering in the pit of your stomach. It was like you were falling into those lust blown pools as he took you apart, your lips crashing against his as the coil snapped and you gasped his name into his mouth. 

The feeling of your entire body fluttering around him was too much, and he followed you with a low growl. He muttered your name under his breath as he spilled his cum inside you, holding you close to his chest and rubbing his nose against yours.

You fell on top of him when he collapsed back against the bed, the two of you laughing breathlessly as you tangled your limbs and molded your lips together before pulling back and gazing at each other some more. Both of you lost yourselves for just a beat, your chests heaving against each other’s before disconnecting and rolling off the bed in two opposite directions as you did your best to compose yourselves.

“I’d say you definitely earned all those screams I’ve heard coming from your apartment, Shea.” You teased, trying your best to lighten the mood and not dwell on the desire you had to ask him to spend the night. 

“Yeah, well I’ve always thought so.” He was avoiding looking at you as much as possible, searching the room for his clothes and fighting the urge to pull you back into the bed and snuggle with you. “Have you seen my converse?”

“Yeah, here.” You shoved his shoes at him after pulling an oversized tee over your head. “Well, I’ve got work in the morning, so…”

“Right, I’ll, um, I’ll talk to you later, I guess.” He shuffled towards your front door and pulled it open before leaning back to look at you one more time. “You can join us for band practice any time, by the way.”

“That would be great.” That smile you were giving him made him feel like his heart was going to break. “I promise not to be sloppy drunk next time.”

“Aww, drunk Y/N was pretty fun, but ok.” He winked at you then left in a hurry, slamming the door behind him. 

You fell back on your bed and ran your hands over your face in frustration, hating yourself for coming up with this stupid idea because now all you wanted was to have breakfast with that beautiful idiot tomorrow after sleeping on top of his chest.

“Goddamn it.”

Colin grabbed himself a beer when he got back to his apartment and chugged it, sinking into one of his barstools and considering the fact that he was absolutely not over his crush after everything the two of you had just done.

“Shit.”

TAGS!!!! (If your name is scored it won’t let me tag you, check your privacy settings!!)

@slothspaghettiwrites@captain-asguard@starlightcrystalline@harrysthiccthighss@bonkywobble@chubbybuckydumpling@blackestpinkworld@egcdeath@wanderinglunarnights@wandering-spiritash@bval-1@chris-butt@badbleep88@shutupstevie@muzzyandbusy@sizzie9@isysen@babyb3ar@wanderingalice00@whxre4cevans@kaleeelizabeth58@angrybirdcr@unsaltedalmonds@amerikakapitanyy@lizette50@patzammit@dwights-new-plague@tenaciousperfectionunknown@daughterofthenight117@obsessivereaderchick@before-we-get-started@missmintyross@mariaenchanted@Marvel-baby@iwanttobekilledtwice@banditmarkymark@wayward-blonde@travistheaussie@thiskindahotkindamusic@stan-all-the-things@roleplaytaboo@jnkyrds@oops-aquarius@riemasonline@superoopuniverse @ethereal-beaut-y@Lex-Is-Up-All-Night-To-Get-Bucky@ambthegamer@tapouttt34@hobbitingryffindor@gudenuph@hevans-angel@rose-m22@jennmurawski13@dumb-ass-writer@kristopbishta@haleemah@yippikaiyaymotherfucker@violet-amxthyst@Thatzolagirl@misshale21@Chamorritaluv@ellefran@pinkdiamond1016@nonamenatalia@katexrichardson@aliceforbes@hornyhoursonly@tvckerlance@xoxabs88xox@phantompogues@ke1084299@ghotifishreads@chloehn@sherlocksmanwatson@partiesandblurrypolaroids@bwbatta@cherrychris@acceptyourselfloveyourself@itstaylorcale@miriamkb@needleandhammer@xoxonotme@Sunny223456@moments-tattoos-on-my-mind@thatsthewrongwallcraig@l-sofiamia-l@lemarvelsimpette@old-enough-to-know-better73@smokeandnailz@loverofaccents@inactivewhore@sohoseb@NINJA Q-TIP@amelia-song-pond@everything-is-all-clear@weasleytwins-41@avada-kedavra-bitch-187@girlwhofans@littlezombie666@xmusictodiebyx@moony-is-bae@mogaruke@nymariel@inmoix@sebastianstanswifey@jeremyrennermakesmesmile@jbreenr@glassesandthunderthighs@aerialclouds@mrs-kcathrb@rosalynshields@littlezombie666@malloryknoxx@hoseokmylovesworld@shynerdystudent@lharrietg@chrisevanseditsworld@dreck-t@Lisafrers@kaitieskidmore1@jane-doe6@vintagepigeon@cece5@brxttybottom@ntthuyy25@sweetcupcakegirl@nathalienight@lululuci-allonsy@umadirectioner@ice-dtae@chrisjaay@drabblewithfrannybarnes @stargazingfangirl18@jack-skellingtons-stuff@chrissquares@msmarvelwrites@sweeterthanthis@gotnofucks@ozarkthedog@thefallenbibliophilequote@a-little-counter-esperanto@afriendlyblackhottie@cockslut-padalecki@gracechristo@ghotifishreads@tossacoin2yourwitcher@angry-angelic@grumpyashhh@fckdeusername@toni9@girlfriday007@starrybrock@simpcitylolz@weasleytwins-41@millennial-teenybopper@mochionly@archy3001@madbaddic7ed@yeolliedokai@I-lie-here-charmed

[vrishchikawrites]

Hello :) Here's another prompt if you're still taking them? WWX & LWJ met as children and declared that they would marry upon their first meeting. Their guardians just thought that it was cute, and that they will forget about it over time. (They don't)

(SOFT. SO SOFT. AU without SSC and GC transfer)

They first meet when Cansge Sanren and Wei Changze are still alive. The wandering cultivators find themselves in Caiyi town and Lan Qiren is reluctantly dragged from his duties to have lunch with a cheerful Cangse Sanren.

He brings little a-Zhan along.

His nephew has just recovered from a fever and is feeling a little clingy. Lan Qiren will never admit it, but something is in his chest softens when his little nephew clings to him with a pout, refusing to let go.

Cangse Sanren's son is exactly when Lan Qiren expected him to be; excitable, curious, restless, and frustratingly intelligent. Bright silver eyes track everything, fascinated and eager to know more.

Lan Qiren reluctantly nudges a-Zhan forward at Cangse Sanren's pointed stare. She's a protective mother and if he so much as implies her son is unworthy of making acquaintance with his nephew, she will cheerfully gut him.

a-Zhan is reluctant at first. He has never been the most social child, rarely interacting with anyone but his immediate family.

But Wei Ying, also a bit shy and reluctant, peeks from behind his father's robes and smiles.

Lan Qiren has to admit it is a pretty sight. The child is plump and healthy with bright eyes and a wide, sincere smile.

a-Zhan is enamored at first sight.

Lan Qiren is astonished when a-Zhan steps forward and grabs Wei Ying's hand, pulling him from behind Wei Changze and towards Lan Qiren.

Wei Ying comes willingly, curious and entertained by the unusual situation. Lan Qiren doesn't doubt he has had even fewer interactions with children his age than a-Zhan, being the son of traveling cultivators.

"Shufu," He pulls Wei Ying's arm up as though presenting him to Lan Qiren, "a-Ying."

"Indeed," He says, secretly amused but refusing to show it, "I am Lan Qiren, Wei Ying."

Apparently, the child doesn't lack manners because he attempts to bow even with his hand still firmly held in a-Zhan's grasp.

Lan Qiren is somewhat charmed.

He is less charmed when their lunch comes to an end and a-Zhan reaches for a-Ying's hand once again, refusing to let go.

"a-Zhan, it's time to go home. Don't you want to see a-Huan?"

"Show a-Ying to a-Huan." a-Zhan insists, "a-Huan sees too!"

"a-Huan can meet a-Ying later." Lan Qiren says patiently but he feels his eyebrow twitch at a-Zhan's stubborn pout, "a-Ying is staying in Caiyi for a few weeks, a-Zhan, I'm sure we can bring a-Huan next time."

"a-Huan see pretty now."

Lan Qiren winces when Cangse Sanren muffles a laugh in her husband's shoulder and the man looks at the sky, amused but too dignified to react.

a-Ying tugs at his hand, trying to free it only to pout when he can't escape.

The scene is too adorable for Lan Qiren's poor heart. He sighs.

"Alright, let's show a-Huan the 'pretty'."

---

The little wandering cultivator family stays in Caiyi for three weeks to rest, replenish their supplies, and give their child some time to play with others.

a-Huan, of course, is just as enamored by a-Ying as his little brother. Lan Qiren is getting accustomed to the sight of a little white-clad Wei child lead around Cloud Recesses by one nephew in the morning and another in the evening.

a-Huan is at least gracious enough to let Wei Ying walk on his own. a-Zhan is stubborn. If he's in a-Ying's company, he's holding the child's hand.

Wei Ying is a free spirit and being dragged around annoys the child at first. He tugs and pouts but eventually starts reaching for a-Zhan's hand on his own accord.

There's not a single person in Cloud Recesses that doesn't adore the sight.

---

"a-Zhan," Lan Qiren sighs, "a-Ying must leave with his parents. He belongs to them."

a-Zhan is red-faced and angry, his eyes wet with frustrated tears, "a-Ying stay. a-Ying stay, stay, stay!"

Oh goodness, a tantrum.

It is, unfortunately, a drama with three actors.

a-Huan is weeping with a tragic appearance of a love-scorned maiden; eyes wide and imploring, lips trembling, and face wet with silent tears.

a-Ying is burying sobs into his father's shoulder, his little body trembling with acute distress. "a-Ying not leave," He wails, "a-Ying wants stay with a-Zhan!"

"a-Ying," Wei Changze is compassionate instead of amused, his expression soft with sympathy. He rubs his son's back in gentle motions, rocking the child soothingly, "Baba promises we'll return. We'll be back before you even have a chance to miss your friends."

"Aiya! What a mess," Cangse Sanren says, amused, "a-Ying, do you want to leave us and stay with a-Zhan? We must go so you need to choose."

"Xingan," Wei Changze chides as Wei Ying looks up with wide eyes and shakes his head, looking heartbreakingly distressed, "Be gentle with our child."

Lan Qiren huffs in disapproval, glaring at her as she smiles sheepishly and presses a kiss to Wei Ying's head, "Aiya, baobao, you'll break your mother's heart. It's alright, little treasure," She plucks him from Wei Changze's arms, her face incandescent with love, "We'll bring you to your a-Zhan every two months, I promise! We would never keep you from your friends!"

Perhaps she knows something about raising children, after all. The definite timeline goes a long way to soothe all three children.

There are still many tears at their parting. a-Zhan and a-Huan sulk for days. Sometimes Lan Qiren catches a-Zhan looking at his hand with a forlorn expression.

"a-Zhan," He sighs one day, when his nephew spends an entire evening pouting and staring at his hand, "He'll be back soon."

a-Zhan doesn't say anything, just nodding gently and tucking his hand away.

The expression on his face melts Lan Qiren's heart, "I'll convince Cangse Sanren to stay a bit longer." He thinks about asking her to just let the child attend Cloud Recesses for his education. He's very bright, possessing a native intelligence that must be nurtured.

"Mn."

"Missing a friend is natural," He says softly, "But you must understand that everyone has their own life and obligations. a-Ying belongs to his parents. He must live with them."

"Mn. Will marry a-Ying so he belongs to me."

Lan Qiren chokes on his tea, "What...?"

"a-Ying promised he'll be my wife," a-Zhan nods solemnly, like he isn't nudging his uncle towards qi deviation, "a-Huan saw."

Lan Qiren turns to his older nephew, who nods with a cheerful smile, "They bowed to me and each other. I told them bowing to ancestors can wait until they're older!"

... what?

---

Tragedy strikes and Lan Qiren sees his nephew's heart break. Once. Twice. Three times.

Wei Changze and Cangse Sanren are killed. a-Ying is nowhere to be found.

Madam Lan perishes, and his little nephew deals with the weight of grief again, silent and solemn at her doorstep.

His brother retreats entirely and his nephews are left without a father.

They don't see Wei Ying again for well over a decade.

---

Wei Wuxian arrives at Cloud Recesses like an unstoppable storm.

Lan Qiren takes one look at him, sees the jaded edge in his eyes, watches his appeasing smile, and feels nothing but wrath.

This isn't the boy he remembers, raised under the boundless love of his parents. This one has faced injustice and doesn't trust the world.

The first time the boy challenges him in class, silver eyes sharp and assessing, he throws a book at him and assigns punishment with Wangji.

Let his nephew handle his cherished friend. He needs to look at the situation at the Lotus Pier.

He keeps assigning him lines, even for offenses that warrant the cane. Wei Ying doesn't remember much of his childhood but it is clear that the connection is still there.

The three children fall into their old friendship quickly. Xichen being amused and indulgent. Wei Ying being annoying and lively. Wangji never letting go.

Lan Qiren investigates.

What he finds doesn't please him.

He pens a scathing letter.

'She entrusted you with her treasure. You've made a hash of it. What do you mean by sending that child here in such a state? Did you think I would ignore it? Will you tell me the scars on his back are warranted?

Your audacity appalls me. You swore on your honor that you would raise him as your own son. I offered to take him in when you found him but you swore he was happy with you and his martial siblings.

My nephews love him. Your son only berates him.

You have deceived me.

I swear on my honor that I will find a way to wrest him from your sect, Fengmian.

You do not deserve him.'

---

Wei Ying is a naturally good-humored child. It takes just a month of being in Wangji and Xichen's company to soften all of his edges. His mischief no longer has a jaded edge to it.

He's still far too unruly for Lan Qiren's liking but he supposes that is a symptom of his youth.

"Jiang Yanli is betrothed," Xichen says as he serves them tea. He has a solemn expression but his eyes are sharp. He's almost as fond of Wei Ying as Wangji, after all, "I see no reason why Wangji and a-Xian can't be too."

Lan Qiren stills, staring at his nephew, "Betrothal." He repeats flatly.

Xichen dares to shrug, discarding his habitual poise in his anger, "Wangji has never loved another. It's unlikely he ever will." He looks up to meet Lan Qiren's gaze, "We wouldn't be able to separate them now, Shufu, not after Wangji saw-" He grimaces.

Lan Qiren looks away with a scowl, combing his beard furiously. His youngest nephew had discovered Wei Ying's scars, after all.

"We have letters from Wei Changze," Lan Qiren says, "Discussing a-Ying and a-Zhan's formal marriage arrangements." It had all been in jest, of course. When they found out the children had 'wed' with Xichen as a witness, their amusement had known no bounds.

Lan Qiren had quite enjoyed carrying out mock betrothal negotiations.

He clears his throat, "Very well."

---

Wangji and Wei Ying are officially betrothed before the lectures at Cloud Recesses come to an end.

Yu-furen's wrath knows no bounds. Soon enough, Jiang Fengmian sends Wei Ying back to Cloud Recesses with a letter full of excuses.

Wangji takes one look at his beloved's ashen expression and turns to Lan Qiren, "No more."

Lan Qiren nods.

It is difficult to negotiate but they pull it off. It helps that Wei Changze's letters speak of the marriage as an inevitable fact rather than a joke between parents.

The Jiangs lose their Head Disciple by the time the boy is seventeen. Lan Qiren arranges their marriage by the time they're twenty.

Wei Ying never leaves Wangji's side again.

[twilightofthe]

Obi Wan Kenobi Show Liveblog: Part II

ok ok ok ok ok we gettin’ back to it let’s fucking gooooooooooo

aight so i’m re-listening to the obi wan theme but i’m gonna need to pull it all up once everything’s over and give it my full attention

characters like obi wan kenobi and din djarin having to take commercial air travel and deal with customs makes me laugh a lot

so i’m LOVING the neon aesthetic of Daiyu

wait motherfuck this is obi wan’s FIRST TIME OFF TATOOINE IN TEN YEARS HOW IS HE COPING

slkdfjsdlk saying this is qui gon’s kind of mess apparently

MOTHERFUCK IS THAT A CLONE

THAT’S A CLONE MR MORRISON WHY DID YOU COME BACK JUST TO HURT ME HEY

and obi wan’s giving him coins and looking like his heart is breaking fucking help me

ahaha go home and rethink your life kiddo

“MY DAUGHTER”

FUCK EVERYTHING

FUCK EVERYTHING

oh ANOTHER jedi huh?

ehhhh i don’t believe it

ah hello kumail nanjiani

oh fuck he actually did the force summon thing

hmmm still don’t know if i trust

like he did say he was a scam character

he’s giving me Hondo vibes

yeah MAJOR Hondo vibes

pffff i knew it was a scam

ohohoho obi wan’s gonna fuck with this dude big time i know it

Get his ass Obes get him

“of course” ohohoho that’s obi wan’s Danger Voice sexy ehehe

HAHAHA IT WAS A MAGNET AND NOW OBES HAS A GUN GET HIS ASS

THE GUN AND THE ANGRY VOICE IS STILL VERY HOT I’M SORRY I KNOW IT’S UNCIVILIZED OK OK OK I’LL SHUT UP

BUT IT’S HOT

SHHHH OK BACK TO WATCHING

heeheeheehee he’s STROKING HIS BEARD

PENSIVELY

fuuuuuuck

i am so obnoxious i’m sorry but also not

yes he still makes a gas mask look hot

ok wow i guess the entire first episode with me crying was me too distracted by my emotions to be drooling over obes but now the dam has burst

HELL YES BABE YOU DESTROY THAT BREAKING BAD LAB

HOOHOOHOOHOOOOOO HE BRAWLIN HE BRAWLION THAT’S STILL HOT

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

stop fucking hitting him u bitch ur just jealous he’s hot and you’re not

HELL YEAH SMOKEBOMB

I love this man so much y’all have no clue

AHAHAHA LEIA’S FIRST ENCOUNTER WITH OBI WAN AND SHE ATTACKS HIM I LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT

obiwanandleiaobiwanandleiaobiwanandleiaobiwanandleia

motherFUCK THE DISGUISE HE GIVES HER LOOKS LIKE PADME’S HANDMAIDEN DISGUISE I’M GONNA FUCKING SOB

AND SHE SPENDS HER ENTIRE TIME CALLING HIM OLD AND GIVING HIM A CORONARY I LOVE THIS SO SO SO VERY MUCH

ohoho so i think Reva IS trying to please Vader

fuck offffffff G. Quizzy Reva’s so much prettier than u

SO YOU DO ADMIT THAT KENOBI’S STILL ALIVE DON’T TAKE CREDIT FOR WHAT SHE’S DONE YOU BITCH

WE ALL WANNA SQUEEZE HIM BITCH YOU’RE NOT SPECIAL

obi wan hon u do realize that y’all took off your disguises and are now walking around barefaced right

oh ok ok he’s getting her new clothes good

FASHION ICON LIKE HER MOTHER

“GRANDDAUGHTER MAYBE” LEIA ORGANA I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING

HE’S USING HIS ANNOYED ANAKIN VOICE ON HER I LOVE HIM I LOVE HER SO VERY VERY MUCH

fuuuuuck he’s hot when he punches people

“my droid is fucking dead :(” “good” OBI WAN

don’t jinx it you bitch did you learn ANYTHING obi wan from like ur entire life

NO DUMBASS DON’T LEAVE HER ALONE

ahhhh she’s suspicious oh dear and here we go

OOOOH HE’S GONNA CATCH A BLASTER BOLT WITH THE FORCE TO PROTECT HER OR SOMETHING

Reva you’re such a dramatic bitch i love you can’t u jump off a building like a normal force user

nah he’s gonna float her

yep!

Skywalker requirement: MUST nearly give Obi Wan a heart attack after being in his presence for ten minutes

“IS IT THAT HARD TO BELIEVE THAT YOU MIGHT HAVE FRIENDS” LEIA

“we gotta take the free help dumbass” this is giving me big Padme vibes

OBI WAN THINKS SO TOO

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Reva you dramatic-ass theatre kid I love you

“I’ll be right behind you” lmaoooooo Obi Wan just said the magic words that means he DEFINITELY WON’T AHAHAHA

so she IS trying to capture him for Vader

ahahahahahaha his EYES LOOK AT THE PAIN AND TERROR

wait wait wait what the fuck WHY DOES SHE KNOW HE’S ANAKIN

oh fuck wait a minute did she actually stab G. Quizzy?

So is he NOT the same one from Rebels?

AHAHAHA ANYWAY BACK TO OBI WAN’S BREAKDOWN HEEHEEHOOHOO

heeeheeehee he’s crying

OH THERE YOU ARE YOU BROODY BURNT BITCH

NOW THE PARTY’S STARTED

NOW THE ANGST IS HERE

HAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA