#be cricital and talk about problems

[thornsent]

Hi sorry I didn't mean for the tone to come off that weird and I was on mobile. I took for granted that lesbianchemicalplant is pretty well known to be Like That and should have provided proof. One of the reasons that you can search spacelazarwolf and not get too much is because she mostly uses screenshots and also tumblr's search feature is garbage.

Anyway, she frequently is weird about trans men and calls any talking about their experiences Privileged and transandrophobia truthers

And then is also weird about Jews. Like all the time. Any time any jew talks about their experience she claims they are a zionist

hey! it's all good, and thanks for not being afraid to come off anon. I don't wanna be hostile to people but it's easy to read anons as being in poor faith for.. obvious reasons lmao, average tumblr experience

anyway I do agree this shit abt transmascs is vile. it's very funny that she has baeddels in her dni but is basically regurgitating their shit.

as for the jewish stuff, I still have to reiterate that she herself is jewish according to her about, and I feel like she has the right to cricitize her own community especially wrt orthodoxy & trauma. to be honest, these screenshots still feel real cherry-picked and don't have much context behind them. most of the claims of zionism I'm seeing on her blog are pretty well-founded, especially when a few of these people overtly call themselves zionists. the exception is when she uses fanpol to justify accusations of bigotry, which I think is generally a stupid stance anyway

I don't really use this website for discourse or news LMAO this is the website where I talk about being a faggot and look at images and sometimes reblog opinionated posts. I rb'd the post we're talking about because to me it spoke to a broader issue wherein tumblr's attempts at acceptance/inclusion become infantilizing and erase problems within already-marginalized communities... Treating a community like it is Inherently Progressive is clearly better than antisemitism but it's still bad, you know?

overall I am far from a fan of OP and I don't 100% agree with everything she says or believes, but I don't necessarily think that I have to. I might delete the post because, while I am learning, I am not myself Jewish & don't wish to overstep. but I don't think she was being weird about jewish people, I think she just cares about zionism and doesn't like jumblr being full of libs lol

[yemiteyowling-alt]

god i fucking hate all the like. casual nationalism in wrestling. it tends to get less attention than overt racism which is understandable but it’s still a problem & the fact that so often i see criticism of it dismissed even by people who are cricital of (overt) racism is infuriating. especially when it’s “subtle“. of course it isn’t actually that subtle, but it gets treated like it is & too many people only look for it in ways that seem bigger. but the fact is that smaller, less obviously egregious are no less dangerous. if anything i would argue that it’s *more* dangerous because people are more willing to accept it. boiling a frog, essentially. nationalist rhetoric in an imperialist* nation is always harmful no matter how small & insignificant it might seem.

*nationalism in colonized countries is a whole other thing with completely different dynamics & consequences so that’s not what i’m talking about here. i’m talking about countries like the us/uk/japan.

[relativelyanonymousgirl]

Personal development

Personal development is a topic that has been very dear to me for a long time. I think it is important to make the most of life and not to simply follow the path that seems most obvious to you, which coincidentally is often also the path that everyone else seems to follow. It’s not easy work, you have to get to know yourself and find out what you like and dislike, what you’re good at and what you’re bad at and often you have to go against your primary impulses.

Just like there is decision fatique there is also going-against-your-primary-impulses-fatique. It is very tiring and i completely understand why people choose to go the ‘easy’ way, since whatever it is you’re doing in life, it’s supposed to bring you happiness, why else do it? It’s never really been an option for me though. I am not sure why, but I’ve always found it a bit strange to simply do what everyone else does. It sounds nice (and pretentious), but it’s not always hearts and rainbows. People don’t just follow main road because it’s hard to take a detour, but also because its busy and nice and there’s other people on the road with you that think the same and feel the same and you can just glide through life. When you decide to take a detour it’s gonna be hard, especially at first. You don’t recognize yourself in others anymore the way you used to do. There’s a  new voice in your head now that analyzes every move you make and it will also analyze every move every one else makes.

You’re probably familiar with the notion that people tend to dislike characteristics in others that they’re insecure about themselves. Either because the other person has the opposite characteristic, the way we would like to be. Or because the person has the characteristic that we have too and seeing it in others is confronting and shows us what we look like to others and we don’t like it. 

Well this voice is gonna cricitize all. And once you make progress on your own characteristics, you’ll see them in other people and perceive them as weakness. Once your brain is attuned to being aware of how you feel about the decisions you subconciously make and how they impact you, you’ll see the same in others. There will be decisions that they make that you think are _bad_ and it’s hard not to point them out to them. And then there will be decisions that they make that you don’t necessarily have an opinion on, but they do. And they’ll complain and keep on making the same decision. This, also, is very hard not to point out to them.

So, why shouldnt we point these things out to them? Wouldn’t we want to know if we were them? Is it not the most valuable information for personal improvement? 

There’s several reasons. First of all it’s important to analyze your own intention. Why do we want to point these things out to them, do they come from a ‘negative’ or a ‘positive’ place.

(in my opinion, this is one of the core concepts of living your best life. It doesnt matter much what the action is as long as it comes from a good place, this means that the same action can be bad/good depending on where it comes from, not the action itself. This isn’t a great explanation, but if you keep following my blog and that of other people I think you’ll see this concept returning and you’ll understand what I mean and why it’s so powerful)

So an example of a bad place in this example is because it’s annoying you that they keep complaining about the same shit and dont actually do anything to solve the problem or even because you see a better life for them if they only change this thing. I think the first one is pretty obviou, but for the second one you should realise that what you see as the ultimate life for them might not be the same as what they see as the ultimate life. More importantly, even if they might agree with you, simply telling people will not work. And this is the paradox. you would think that clearly explaining to someone what they need to change and how to change it is the most efficient and effective way to transfer this information and thus make them change their life. IT IS NOT. In fact, I would dare say it works counterintuitive in most, if not all cases. Especially if you are only casual friends with this person. 

Imagine how you would feel is someone just walked up to you and started talking about your deepest insecurities. The ones you havent even admitted to yourself having. It’s putting you in a very vulnerable and powerless position, whether you want it or not. Vulnerability is already hard enough when you choose to do it, when someone else chooses for you it’s usually pretty awful. 

Now I’m sure there are a few exceptions, like that best friend you’ve known since you were a baby and you share literally everything, you already are vulnerable with each other and familiar with having these types of conversations and you know how to not step on each other toes and I’d like to say that even in this case this is still not the best way to convey this information.

Because there is a difference between knowing something and.. knowning and ‘feeling’ something to be true. It’s the difference between being told that x is true or finding out on your own that x is true. We know this from learning, that inquisitive learning is a lot more effective in retaining information than being taugt things, but when it comes to personal development I dare say it goes even deeper.

Changing is hard and there are graduations in different types of change. The easiest way to change is by having different circumstances. You see this in many difficult situations. When people lose their parents at a young age they’ll change whether they want it or not. When people lose their jobs, lose all their money, lose their home of become sick they change. Sometimes for the worse and often (in the long term) also for the better. Becoming sick (and getting better or not getting better) might lead you to appreciate life more. Losing all your money might make you realise you had a lot of shit you didnt need anyways and to be more grateful for the things that you did need and could buy with money.

The second type of change is change that comes from within and happens seemingly automatically. Its the change you continuously experience from simply growing up. You’ve learned a lot between the ages 2 and 4 and you’ve learned a lot between the ages of 18 and 21. Take a look back on who you were 1, 2 or 5 years ago. You were different, even if there are no specific big changes in your circumstances. It’s the confidence you’ve built up from doing relatively small and simple tasks, it’s the change that comes from both within your comfort zone and slightly out of your comfort zone. 

Then the last type of change is where you want to change so badly and your are conciously trying to change yourself. This one is the hardest and it is usally done completely wrong. I would almost argue that this change is always bad, but there’s always exceptions so I won’t do that, but still. It’s when you want to lose weight, improve your diet and exercise. It’s when you keep having explosions of anger that you can’t seem to control, but want to. It’s wanting to get ahead in your career, but seeming to go nowhere. 

This is also the type of change that you induce when you tell people what is wrong and how to fix it. In the best-case scenario that is, a worse-case scenario would be that you hit a sore spot and they’ll get defensive be further away from change than they were before.

People need to find out themselves what they like and dislike. So dont tell them whats wrong, but ask them what they think about them. This will lead to the second type of change. It’s what psychologists have known for years and now you know too. But it’s not an easy task and I would advice that if you’re still in your early phases of personal development to hold off for a bit. you’ll learn more about yourself and about how to have these conversations simply from becoming aware of how you and they feel about the conversations you’re having and what reactions your words have on them.