#bc some of them are...to put it politely...RUBBISH | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

calumcest · 5 years ago

Text

masterlist

ok firstly please bear in mind most of these fics were written in 2014/15 when i was 16 so please do not judge their quality too harshly

ao3

[there are some fics on there that i haven’t put here, mainly chaptered fics but some others too]

drabbles (malum, lashton, cashton, mashton)

lashton

i can count on the sun to shine

It’s not been the easiest of days, but it’s not been the roughest either, so Ashton’s half-surprised when Luke crawls into his lap and curls up in it, looping his arms around Ashton’s neck and nosing into Ashton’s neck, breath warm and even against Ashton’s skin.

my beating heart belongs to you

“God, you’re all sweaty,” Michael adds, and Ashton snorts because that is fucking rich coming from the guy whose sweat has disintegrated two shirts so far this tour. “That’s how Luke likes me,” Ashton fires back, and Calum pulls a face whilst Michael laughs. “What’s how I like you?” Luke asks, coming up behind Ashton and wrapping his arms around him, resting his chin on Ashton’s head.

young and in love (that should be enough)

“Ashton.” Luke draws out the second syllable, pouting to add effect to his words. “Lukey,” Ashton says, stringing out the second syllable too in a softly mocking manner. “What do you want?” “A cuddle,” Luke announces, “from my favourite boyfriend.”

say you’ll never change

@Luke5SOS: It feels like we’re ready to crack these days you & I

it feels like we’re ready to crack these days, you & i [extended version of above fic]

It’s not really that pathetic that Ashton’s got tweet and text notifications on for Luke. Not really.

we gamble with desire

“Guys,” Michael says, making his way into the back lounge. “Have you heard of fanfiction?”

rules of the band

In retrospect, it’s kind of Ashton’s fault that it all starts. He’d eaten the last of the Vegemite, something he knows Michael and Calum feel very strongly about, and it had resulted in a sheet of paper pinned to the fridge by a frog magnet that had ‘Rules of the Band’ scrawled in Calum’s handwriting at the top. Rules of the Band

NOBODY WILL EAT THE LAST OF THE VEGEMITE!!!

soulmates

“Do you believe in soulmates?”

my friends are a different breed

“What’s happening?” Calum says, walking out into the living room. “Luke and Ashton weren’t kissing,” Michael informs him. Calum nods. “We weren’t,” Ashton says in what he hopes is a believable tone.

i’ve got a lot of friends who are stars

The city’s fucking beautiful at night.

dreams only last for a night

Luke prefers it when Ashton’s asleep.

happy father’s day dad :-)

@Calum5SOS: @Ashton5SOS happy Father’s Day dad :-)

my friends are everything

CH: Who’s eaten the last of the fucking vegemite

AI: wtf that was like rule number 1

my new comfort zone

It’s when it starts getting to the tense, anticipatory bit of the film where the gang of actual idiots are about to enter the house which Luke’s ninety-nine percent sure has a murderer in it, that’s when Luke whimpers and turns away from the screen, burying his face in the crook of Ashton’s neck.

as the night gets older of you i grow fonder

Luke’s eight when Ashton moves in next door. (based on the video for you belong with me)

coffee shop soundtrack

“Mind if I sit here?” the guy asks, and there’s a kind of apologetic hint to his tone. “Everywhere else is full.” Full? The coffee shop's never full- Oh. Apart from today, apparently. Every single seat is taken. “Oh, Luke says. “Uh. Sure.“

taking the long way home

“May we have your attention for flight BA8227,” the tinny voice of the announcement says, and Ashton’s stomach sinks. They never announce anything he wants to hear; there’s never any we’ve upgraded hardworking and broke session drummer Ashton Irwin to first class, he’s also been given unlimited air miles and a refund on his overpriced tuna melt. “We are sorry to announce that this flight is delayed by approximately seven hours. This is due to unforeseen adverse weather conditions. I repeat-”

if these walls could talk (they’ve seen way too many things)

The announcement comes late, at eight p.m., interrupting radio and TV broadcasts and flashing up on phone screens. Due to the current pandemic, the state is now on mandatory lockdown for three weeks. All citizens have until midnight to return to their places of residence. Those outside after midnight will be subject to severe penalties. Further information to follow. “You have to leave,” Ashton says. “You have to go.” Luke blinks. “They’re locking down the state.”

as he faced the sun he cast no shadow

Ashton doesn’t really realise he’s fallen out of love until it’s happened.

you and i were fireworks that went off too soon (soulmate au)

chapter one ~ chapter two ~ chapter three ~ chapter four ~ chapter five ~ chapter six ~ chapter seven

The tattoos appear one Wednesday night. What’s yours?” Michael demands, sounding beside himself with excitement. Luke frowns. “What’s my what?” “Your tattoo.”

fight so dirty but your love’s so sweet

Luke hates a good ninety-five percent of his job. A solid thirty percent of that comes from the fact that he works as a receptionist at a hotel, which he thinks is possibly the most thankless job humanity could possibly have created. A further ten comes from the fact that his desk is right next to the kitchen, meaning mouth-watering smells are constantly wafting under his nose, and Luke’s not allowed to eat on shift. Fifty-five percent of it, though, is Ashton.

there’s no time for running away now

It’s three a.m., and Ashton’s awake. On the surface, that might not appear to be a problem. And ordinarily, it wouldn’t be - ordinarily, Ashton would either roll over groggily, will sleep to come with every fibre of his being and maybe a quick prayer or two, or read something mind-numbingly boring like his urgent work emails to send him back to sleep. This, however, isn’t the most ordinary situation. Ashton is awake because of Luke.

-------

malum

make me a promise here tonight

“Calum,” Michael says, walking into the bunk area and stopping in front of Calum’s bunk. “Cal.” “What?” Calum asks, not looking up from his phone. “I think we should get married.”

we know this is the way it’s supposed to be

Calum’s always the first person Michael rings in an emergency. Like right now, for example. Right now’s an emergency. “What the fuck do you want, Clifford?” Calum groans, voice tinny through the shitty phone line, but he’s picked up after the first ring so Michael knows he doesn’t mean it. “I need help,” Michael says, trying to stop the phone from slipping down his chest from where it’s pressed between his shoulder and his ear. “Green, blue, or black?“

the first time i’ve seen love (and the last i’ll ever need)

“Tell me a story.” The words are whispered into the fabric of Calum’s shirt, and Calum’s arms tighten around Michael as he hums in response. It’s familiar, the situation, because it’s what Michael always asks for when he’s tired, scared, lonely, or just wants to hear Calum’s voice.

it should be criminal that you could be mine

He can’t help but get a little jealous when Ashton and Luke start properly dating, though. He can’t help but get jealous of the way Ashton’s always taking Luke out for dinner, always holding his hand, always buying him presents, always making these romantic gestures that Michael’s never had from Calum. (or calum’s version of a dinner date)

it always will be you (wherever you are)

It started off as something kind of unnecessary. Calum already had a Twitter account, and he wasn’t someone who was afraid to speak his mind. If he had something to say, he’d say it on his public account. He’d only made the account for when he was in a bit of a shitty mood and wanted to vent or when he had an inappropriate joke that only Michael would find funny.

falling asleep on a stranger

As it is, his bus is running late today and Calum had run all the way to the bus stop from his house (a good two minutes of exercise, at least, which means he’s breathless and almost breaking a sweat by the time he reaches the bus stop) because he’d thought he was late. When he realises, however, that he could have had an extra ten minutes and actually eaten some breakfast, he groans, lets his eyes flutter shut and mutters “fuck me.” “Excuse me?” a surprised voice says, and Calum opens his eyes so fast he thinks he might have accidentally blinded himself. Standing to his left, an amused look on his face, is a boy with fluffy-looking blue hair (blue).

this could be the start of something new

He pushes past throngs of tired-looking businessmen to get into the last carriage, looking around for some seats. He’s not the only one who’s had that idea, clearly, as the last carriage is nigh-on full and Calum has the choice of two seats - one next to a balding man who’s eating what looks to be a tuna sandwich (Calum balks at the very idea) and a tattooed-up-to-hell punk kid with a shock of light pink hair in a suit, jacket on his lap. Calum goes for the latter.

you’re already the voice inside my head

“Michael didn’t say anything, mate,” Luke says, confused. “Yes, he did,” Calum says, exasperated. “I…no, I didn’t,” Michael says slowly. “What the fuck, Mike?” Calum says, perplexed. “I didn’t say it, Cal…I thought it.”

i want to teach you a lesson (in the worst kind of way)

“Who’s that, sir?” Lily asks, jabbing at the window. “The new PE teacher,” Michael says. “He’s cute,” Sarah says, and a couple of the girls nod vigorously. “He’s also twice your age,” Michael says. “Go on, off to your practice rooms.” The girls groan, but one by one pull themselves away from the window and start to wander off. Michael stays by the window, one eye on the girls to make sure they actually go where they’re supposed to and one eye on the new PE teacher, who’s dividing the class up into groups and handing out footballs. He is kind of hot, Michael supposes, if you’re into muscular guys who are clearly good at sports. Which Michael most definitely is.

dancing with the demons (holy spirit, holy spirit)

“You’re kind of a shitty demon,” he tells Calum, who scowls. “Fuck you,” he says. “You’re kind of a shitty angel.” “Oh, dude, I know,” Michael agrees.

only you (and you can hear me)

“Uh,” Calum says, looking out into the crowd, and Michael follows his gaze, trying to find what Calum’s staring at. “I’m going to go to the teepee with Heather.” Michael’s stomach sinks. “Really?” he asks, before he can stop himself, looking over at Calum. “Yeah,” Calum says, turning to look at Michael, and Michael whips back around before Calum can see the look of please don’t written all over his face. “Alright.” (tiny dancer scene from rocketman but happy)

i took a walk with my fame down memory lane (i never did find my way back)

chapter one ~ chapter two ~ chapter three ~ chapter four ~ chapter five ~ chapter six

“Fucking shite,” Liam says, over the sound of the crowd’s growing murmurs. “Would’ve rather watched City fucking lose.” They all know he’s lying. Liam’d probably rather cut off his limbs one at a time than sit at home to watch City get thrashed. It reminds Calum where he is, though, as he takes a sip of his beer with slightly shaky hands. He’s in fucking Manchester, in a dingy bar with two of the biggest pricks he’s ever met in his life, watching shitty bands play mediocre songs to avoid having to watch his football team get massacred by Everton. It grounds him, shakes him out of it, makes him remember that he’s here, in England, not in Sydney, and he’s twenty, not seventeen. That was then, and this is now. But for a moment - just for a few seconds - he could have sworn that then and now were the same thing. Just for one moment, he could have sworn he’d seen Michael Clifford. - or: calum's in oasis and michael's in blur and it's the height of the 1990s britpop war

couldn’t make it more obvious could you (be any more obvious?)

“D’you think he was being serious?” he asks Ashton, who’s already engrossed in his phone again. “Hm?” Ashton says, without looking up. “‘Bout what?” “Jack.” That makes Ashton look up, brow furrowed. “What about him?” Calum hesitates. “Y’know,” he says, a little uncomfortably. Ashton cocks his head, raising his eyebrows in an I don’t know sort of way. “About them. Sleeping together.” “Oh,” Ashton says, shrugs, and turns back to his phone. “Yeah, obviously.”

love would burn this city down for you

There’s something so comforting about the city. Calum remembers the first time he’d got it, that rush of everything and nothing and beauty and reverence as he’d stared out at the brightly-lit scene before him, overwhelmed and trying his best to drink it all in. Fuck me, he’d thought, a delicious numbness licking at his nerves. I’m fucking irrelevant. (It was the first time he’d ever known peace.)

——-

cashton

‘cause all of the stars are fading away (just try not to worry you’ll see them someday)

Growing up isn’t easy. Nobody ever told him it would be. You’ll get hurt, his mum would say, eyes big and sad, and he’d shrug and say that’s life, not really understanding what she meant because he was yet to spend three nights in a row staring up at his ceiling, drunk and high and so miserable it somehow felt like everything and nothing at the same time. It’ll be difficult, his manager had warned, when they got their first tour with One Direction, and Ashton had shrugged and said isn’t everything?, not realising that what ‘difficult’ meant was sacrifice; his sleep, his home, his self, everything torn out at the roots and tossed aside for him to gather back into his arms again. The hardest part of growing up, though, isn’t when things happen to him, when someone breaks up with him or wakes him up two hours after he’s gone to bed or puts him on another plane six hours after he’s just got off one. The hardest part of growing up is when he looks around him and realises I’m not happy.

#ignore this post #also im gonna have to put up posts of the ones that i havent posted on tumblr yet soon #cos rn half of them are just linked to my ao3 #but im gonna space it out bc its annoying #and also i'm going to be very discerning #bc some of them are...to put it politely...RUBBISH #and when i say some of them i mean every single one of them #being proud of things you've written? could never be me

68 notes · View notes

finelinevogue · 3 years ago

Note

We need more Bella and Megan content!!! Insta posts were so cuutee!!! Maybe a blurb abt the relationship between Megan and the family?? It could be interesting… I imagine then being a very open and close knit family u know, where they can talk freely about anything,and yes including sex, and I think it could be interesting to see how maybe bella needs some advice/want to talk to someone about being intimate w her gf and doesn’t know how to bring that up to her family bc she is embarrassed and doesn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable?? I’ve never read a doc like this, or where one of the kid is not straight (only w/ Harry or the reader being bi) and yeah it should be written abt more.

megan and belle are sooo cute yes! ok let’s see where this goes!! hope you have fun reading;

belle - 18

“Will you stop faffing, you look beautiful honey.”

You slapped Belle’s hands from playing with her outfit again. Tonight you and Harry were properly meeting Megan for the first time, by taking them out for a meal at this new Thai restaurant down the road. Belle had been worrying all evening as she was getting ready, coming downstairs multiple times to show off outfits to you so you could give them your honest opinion. It didn’t help her when you said she looked beautiful in all of them. Belle wasn’t into playing “girly” dress-up, but she thought that putting effort in for her girlfriend, tonight, might be a good idea. So she’d finally decided on some denim jeans, a basic top and then one of Harry’s old blazers. She looked amazing.

“Just so nervous.”

“Why? You like them, right?” You asked, adding on a bit of lipstick, whilst you were sat at the table of this fancy restaurant.

“Yeah. Like really like them.” Belle emphasised, shrugging off the blazer as she was becoming too hot with nerves.

“Well then we’ll really like them too. We trust you.” Harry butted in, sitting as close to you as he could whilst sat in these chairs. Before you’d managed to sit down at the table he’d moved your chair along to be closer to his, meaning he could slink his arm around the back of your chair and have his hand in your lap if he wanted to. Even after all these years he still knew how to make you feel especially loved.

Belle’s phone pinged and it made her freak. “Oh god, it’s Meg. They’re here.”

“Okay, B. Calm down and go and get them from outside, we’ll just order some wine or something.” You ordered her softly, trying to put your daughter more at ease. She was more nervous than you imagine Megan would be.

Your daughter stood up from the table, both you and Harry smiling at her. “Okay.” She pushed her chair in behind her and about to walk off, but she quickly turned back to you both, “Remember; Megan Dover, they/them pronouns and don’t mention anything about astrology otherwise we will be dead before we leave this table,okay?”

You both chuckled at her, loving how she was so aware of her girlfriend and the things that were important to them. “Okay love. Now stop fussing and go.” Harry shooed his hand and his daughter away from the table. She turned back around to flash you two thumbs up and you both smiled at her, watching your all-grown-up baby walk away.

“We’ve done well Styles.” You turned to face him, to find he was already admiring you, thinking about the wonder life you’d both created and the wonderful children that had been a product of it.

“Was just thinking the same thing, m’heart.” He smiled and leaned in to kiss you, pressing his lips onto your lipstick-stained ones. He didn’t care if his lips became painted a different colour because of it, he would never miss the opportunity to give his beautiful wife a deserving kiss. He loved you too damn much.

You cupped his chin and he tightened his arm around you, that had been slunk around the back of your chair. He squeezed your thigh three times in signal for saying ‘I love you’ without any words needing to be spoke. You tapped his chin three times in return. Everyone always hated how loved up you two were, but really you just think they’re jealous of how perfect your relationship is. Sure you have your ups and downs, but isn’t that what makes it so perfect? You pulled away and looked into his dreamy eyes, kissing him once more for good luck, before returning your attention to your glass of water for a drink.

“Thirsty?” He asked you, keeping you close.

“Mhm. All that talking I was doing this afternoon on the phone to that bloody insurance company.”

“You did give them a piece of y’mind though, love. You were a lot more civil than I would’ve been.” Harry chuckled, waving his hand to catch one of the waiters attention.

“Seriously though? Nearly charged us an extra £1,000 for a service charge. Bloody fuckers.” You sighed and put your water back on the table after taking a lengthy sip.

“£1,000 isn’t really that mu—” He didn’t finish his sentence though because he caught sight of your stern face and knew exactly what you were thinking. You hated when he talked about money as if it wasn’t a problem, because you didn’t want your kids to grow up with that ideology. “You know what? They’re bastards and i’m proud of you for handling them so well.” He kissed you again and then the waited came over, stopping you from having a go at him for being cheeky. You pinched his leg in respond and he caught your hand, holding it tightly in his as if a warning for you to stop.

“Evening Sir. How can I help?” He asked politely, his serving towel draped over his forearm.

“A bottle of y’cheapest red wine please.”

“Certainly Sir.” And the waited was gone.

“Cheapest?” You asked confused, making Harry turn back towards you.

“Well it’d be a bit hypocritical of us to ask for our favourite bottle of wine, which is £1,000 darling, now wouldn’t it?” He smirked at you, knowing he’d played you just perfectly.

“Such a git.” You scoffed in pretend offence and then kissed him again too make sure that he knew you weren’t mad.

You both sat back and looked in the direction which now you could see Belle walking back over to you from where she’s gone to fetch Megan. Belle was guiding them book, Megan following closely behind her, and they were holding hands. They looked completely adorable and you wanted to just rush your camera out and snap loads of photos of them to remember this moment. Yes, you were that mum who takes a photo of everything and anything when it came to your children. You even had an album on your phone dedicated to your children’s haircuts… You leg started to shake nervously in anticipation.

“Calm down you!” Harry laughed quietly, just incase the two girls could hear you. Harry stood up out of his chair first and held out his hand for you to follow. He made sure your chair didn’t tip back as you stood and kept ahold of your hand as they approached you both.

You caught Belle’s eye and you could how happy she was from the twinkle within.

“Mum, Dad, this is Megan,” Belle introduces you all, Megan still stood slightly behind her, “Meg, this is my mum, Y/N and my dad, Harry.”

Harry was the first one to cross his hand over the table. “Lovely to meet you Megan.”

“And you Mr Styles, but please just call me Meg.” They shook hands together and Harry smiled at them warmly, wanting to make her feel as part of the family as possible. He was good at that.

“Well then then you, please, call me Harry. Makes me feel old otherwise.” His joke made the table laugh and ease any nervousness that had been there before.

“That’s because you are old, dad.” Belle added cheekily.

“Oi watch it you. Don’t think I won’t embarrass you in front of your girlfriend.” He raised his eyebrows teasingly and pointed sternly at his daughter, who did pack quite the punch with her snarky responses sometimes.

“I’m counting on it Harry.” Megan laughed, which made everyone chuckle again. Megan was such an easy girl to get along with and it was clear that they made Belle a very happy person, for that you indebted to them.

“And nice to see you Meg.” You shook your hands with Megan as Harry and Belle continued to banter over the table. You were sat opposite Megan, Harry next to you and Belle diagonally opposite you. You and Megan both sat down before Harry and Belle did.

“Likewise Mrs Styles,” you gave them a look which had them chuckling as they corrected themselves, “Y/N, sorry! Are they usually like this?” They asked you, watching Belle and Harry talk about some absolute rubbish.

“Oh don’t even start! They wind each other up all the time. Drive me up the bloody wall they do!” You laughed and you felt calmer when Megan laughed too. “Wine?” You offered them, having had the bottle delivered whilst you were all being introduced to each other.

“Yes please.” They smiled and held out the glass to help you pour. You poured them a generous glass and then followed by pouring yourself one too.

You weren’t blinded by the beauty of Megan. They had strong-loving brown eyes and blonde hair that seemed to be toned down with brunette roots. They had a simple face with perfectly plucked eyebrows and a fiercely sharp jawline. They were just very naturally pretty, that you could tell. They were wearing similar to Belle actually, which made you think they’d coordinated their outfits - your inner mum was freaking out over the soft thought. You and Harry often liked to coordinate outfits too, like tonight - both of you were wearing navy blue.

“You want wine B?” Meg asked Belle, breaking her away from the pointless conversation with her dad.

“What? Oh, yes, yes please.” Belle responded, shifting closer towards Meg and holding their hand again. They kept their public displays of affection to themselves, a bit like you and Harry had originally been. You filled up your daughters glass, but passed on filling up Harrys glass because he was driving home tonight.

“So what do you plan on studying at university Meg?” You started the conversation with the easiest question you could.

“Marine Biology.” They answered and you could tell they were clearly excited by the tone of happiness in their voice. You didn’t miss the squeeze of pride that Belle gave them either.

“That sounds good! Where abouts are you going to study?”

“Newcastle, actually.” Meg went quiet and you understood why, because Belle was going to the exact same university to study Engineering.

“Oh really?” Harry asked, pretending to be surprised but it definitely came through sarcastically - this earned him a kick under the table from his daughter.

“Oh shut up!” Belle rolled her eyes and Meg smiled at her playfulness with her family, it made them really happy that their girlfriend had such a loving and special family.

You were so not ready to send off your daughter to university, because she was your final baby to leave the safe nest of the Styles home and it was just going to be you and Harry left. You were excited for the time you’d have with him, but you were sad to see you final child leave you. You were even more excited for Belle to be going out and adventuring the world as she wanted to. She was going to do great things and you couldn’t be prouder of her. It eased you to know that at least Meg would be their with her - almost like a home away from home.

“You have any brothers or sisters Meg?” You asked.

“I have a younger sister, but she’s evil.” Meg laughed, before taking a sip of their wine.

“Evil how? ‘Cause my children are the exact same.” Harry spoke sincerely as if one of his children weren’t sat directly in front of him. It earned him another kick to his legs from his daughter. “See? Evil.” Everyone laughed, Belle just sulked.

“Well Ivy just terrorises everyone and anyone. She’s just evil.”

“Belle ain’t much better i’m afraid.”

“Dad! Meg is going to leave me if you keep painting me out to be an arsehole.” Belle rolled her eyes, but was brought out of her strop by Megan who brought her hand up to press their lips on her skin.

“Can’t chase me away that easily Belle.”

And it was that moment that you knew that Belle had found a forever partner in Megan, just as you had found in Harry.

153 notes · View notes

booklindworm · 3 years ago

Text

A rant against Karen Traviss' understanding of history and her FAQ answers

Did you base the Mandalorians on the Spartans?

<cite> No. I didn't. </cite> Fair enough.

<cite> I really wish history was taught properly - okay, taught at all - in schools these days, because history is the big storehouse that I plunder for fiction. It breaks my heart to hear from young readers who have no concept even of recent history - the last fifty years - and so can't see the parallels in my books. You don't have to be a historian to read my novels, but you'll get a lot more out of them if you explore history just a little more. Watch a history channel. Read a few books. Visit some museums. Because history is not "then" - it's "now." Everything we experience today is the product of what's happened before. </cite> Yeah, I do to. Please, Ms Traviss, go on, read some books. Might do you some good. And don't just trust the history channels. Their ideas about fact-checking differ wildly.

<cite> But back to Mandos. Not every military society is based on Sparta, strange as that may seem. In fact, the Mandos don't have much in common with the real Spartans at all. </cite> You mean apart from the absolute obsession with the military ["Agoge" by Stephen Hodkinson], fearsome reputation ["A Historical Commentary on Thucydides" by David Cartwright], their general-king ["Sparta" by Marcus Niebuhr Tod], the fact that they practically acted as mercenaries (like Clearch/Κλέαρχος), or the hyper-confidence ("the city is well-fortified that has a wall of men instead of brick" [Plutarch, Life of Lycurgus])...

<cite> A slightly anarchic, non-centralized, fightin' people? Sounded pretty Celtic to me. Since I went down that path, I've learned more about the Celts (especially the Picts), and the more I learn, the more I realise what a dead ringer for Mandos they are. But more of how that happened later... </cite>

The Celtic people are more than one people, more than one culture. Celtic is a language-family! In the last millennium BC nearly every European ethnic group was in some ways Celtic, and they were not one. Later, after the Germanic tribes (also not one people, or a singular group) moved westwards, the Celtic cultures were still counted in the hundreds. Not only Scotland was Celtic! Nearly all of Western Europe was (apart from the Greek and Phoenician settlers on the Mediterranean coasts). The word “Celts” was written down for the first time by Greek authors who later also used the word “Galatians”. The Romans called these people “Gauls”, and this word was used to describe a specific area, bordered by the Atlantic Ocean, the Cévennes and the Rhine: “Gaul”. So the Celts, the Galatians and the Gauls were all part of the same Celtic civilisation. "Celts, a name applied by ancient writers to a population group occupying lands mainly north of the Mediterranean region from Galicia in the west to Galatia in the east [] Their unity is recognizable by common speech and common artistic traditions" [Waldman & Mason 2006] Mirobrigenses qui Celtici cognominantur. Pliny the Elder, The Natural History; example: C(AIUS) PORCIUS SEVERUS MIROBRIGEN(SIS) CELT(ICUS) -> not just one culture "Their tribes and groups eventually ranged from the British Isles and northern Spain to as far east as Transylvania, the Black Sea coasts, and Galatia in Anatolia and were in part absorbed into the Roman Empire as Britons, Gauls, Boii, Galatians, and Celtiberians. Linguistically they survive in the modern Celtic speakers of Ireland, Highland Scotland, the Isle of Man, Wales, and Brittany." [Celtic Culture: a historical encyclopedia. by John Koch] "[] the individual CELTIC COUNTRIES and their languages, []" James, Simon (1999). The Atlantic Celts – Ancient People Or Modern Invention. University of Wisconsin Press. "All Gaul is divided into three parts, one of which the Belgae live, another in which the Aquitani live, and the third are those who in their own tongue are called Celtae, in our language Galli." [Julius Caesar, De Bello Gallico] <= I had to translate that in school. It's tedious political propaganda. Read also the Comentarii and maybe the paper "Caesar's perception of Gallic social structures" that can be found in "Celtic Chiefdom, Celtic State," Cambridge University Press. The Celtic tribes and nations were diverse. They were pretty organized, with an academic system, roads, trade, and laws. They were not anarchic in any way. They were not warriors - they were mostly farmers. The Celts were first and foremost farmers and livestock breeders

The basic economy of the Celts was mixed farming, and, except in times of unrest, single farmsteads were usual. Owing to the wide variations in terrain and climate, cattle raising was more important than cereal cultivation in some regions.

Suetonius addressing his legionaries said "They are not soldiers—they're not even properly equipped. We've beaten them before." [not entirely sure, but I think that was in Tacitus' Annals]

Regarding the Picts, in particular, which part of their history is "anarchic"? Dál Riata? the Kingdom of Alba? Or are you referring to the warriors that inspired the Hadrian's Wall? Because no one really knows in our days who the fuck they were. The Picts’ name first appears in 297 AD. That is later. <cite> Celts are a good fit with the kind of indomitable, you-can't-kill-'em-off vibe of the Mandos. Reviled by Rome as ignorant savages with no culture or science, and only fit for slaughter or conquest, the Celts were in fact much more civilized than Rome even by modern standards. </cite> That's how the Romans looked at pretty much every culture that wasn't Greek, Roman, Phoenician, Egyptian, or from Mesopotamia (read, if you want, anything Roman or Greek about the Skyths, the Huns, Vandals, Garamantes...).

<cite> They also kicked Roman arse on the battlefield, and were very hard to keep in line, so Rome did what all lying, greedy superpowers do when challenged: they demonized and dehumanized the enemy. (They still used them in their army, of course, but that's only to be expected.) </cite> They were hard to keep in line, but they most definitely did not kick Roman arse on the battlefield. Roman arse was kicked along the borders of the Roman Empire, such as the Rhine, the Danube, the Atlas mountains, etc. And mostly by actually badly organized, slightly anarchic groups, such as the Goths or the Huns (BTW the Huns were not a Germanic people, even though early 20th century British propaganda likes to say so). Though they were also decisively stopped by the Parthians. Who were very organized. Ah well. <cite> While Rome was still leaving its unwanted babies to die on rubbish dumps - a perfectly acceptable form of family planning to this "civilisation" - and keeping women as chattels devoid of rights, the barbarian Celts had a long-standing legal system that not only gave women what we would think of as equal rights, but also protected the rights of the elderly, children, and the disabled. They had a road network across Europe and worldwide trade long before the Romans ever got their act together. And their science - well, their astronomical calculations were so sophisticated that it takes computers to do the same stuff today. </cite> See? You even say yourself that they weren't actually anarchic. Also you're not completely right: 1. women (of most Celtic cultures, with one notable exception being the Irish) were not allowed to become druids, e.g. scientists, physicians, priests, or any other kind of academics, so they did not have equal rights. Also, as in other Indo-European systems, the family was patriarchal. 2. the roads they had were more like paths, and did not span the entirety of Europe; the old roads that are still in use are nearly all of them Roman. Had the Celtic inhabitants of Gallia or Britannia built comparable roads, why would the Romans have invested in building a new system on top? 3. world-wide? Yeah, right. They traded with those who traded with others and so were able to trade with most of southern Eurasia and northern Africa, as well as few northern parts (Balticum, Rus), but that's (surprise) not the whole world. 4. most people use computers for those calculations you mention because its easier. It's not necessary. I can do those calculations - give me some time to study astronomy (I'm a math major, not physics) and some pencils and paper. 5. and - I nearly forgot - the kids didn't die. That was a polite fiction. The harsh truth is that most Roman slaves were Romans... <cite> So - not barbarians. Just a threat to the empire, a culture that wouldn't let the Pax Romana roll over it without a fight. (Except the French tribes, who did roll over, and were regarded by the Germanic Celts [...]) </cite> WTF Germanic Celts? What are you smoking, woman? Isn't it enough that you put every culture speaking a language from the Celtic family in one pot and act as if they were one people, now you have to mix in a different language-family as well? Shall we continue that trend? What about the Mongolian Celts, are they, too, proof that the Celts were badass warriors? I think at this point I just lost all leftover trust in your so-called knowledge. <cite> [...] as being as bad as the Romans. Suck on that, Asterix... </cite> Asterix was definitely a Celt, and unlike the British Celts, he was not a citizen of the Roman Empire.

<cite> Broad brush-stroke time; Celts were not a centralized society but more a network of townships and tribes, a loose alliance of clans who had their own internal spats, but when faced with some uppity outsider would come together to drive off the common threat. </cite> They might have tried, but they didn't. The first and only time a Celtic people really managed to drive off some uppity outsider would be 1922 following the Anglo-Irish Treaty of 1921*. The fact that France, Spain, Portugal speak Romance languages and the British (or Irish) Isles nearly uniformly speak English should be proof enough.

*Unless you count Asterix. <cite> You couldn't defeat them by cutting off the head. There was no head to cut off. </cite> You mean unlike Boudica and Vercingetorix. Oh wait. Tacitus, in his Annals, said that Boudica's last fight cost 80,000 Britons and 400 Romans their lives. He was probably exaggerating. But it definitely stopped much of the British resistance in its tracks. <cite> To the centralized, formal, rather bureaucratic Romans, for whom the city of Rome was the focus of the whole empire, this was a big does-not-compute. The Celts were everything they didn't understand. And we fear what we don't understand, and we kill what we fear. </cite> While that is totally true, it's also completely off the mark. The Romans demonized the druids, not every Celt, and they were afraid of what was basically an academic network. That had nothing to do with war. <cite> Anyway, Mandos....once I took a single concept - in this case, the idea of clans that operated on a loose alliance system, like the Celts - the rest grew organically. I didn't plan it out in detail from the start. </cite> That's really obvious. Maybe looking at some numbers and remembering that you weren't planning a small, local, rural, medieval community would have helped, too. I mean lets have a look at, say, Scotland (since you specifically mentioned the Picts): they still have less than 6 mio. people all together, and that's today. Mandalore is a sector. A sector of Outer Space with at least 2000 inhabited planets. How do you think that translates? It doesn't. <cite> I just asked myself what a culture of nomadic warriors would value, how they would need to operate to survive, and it all grew inexorably by logical steps. The fact that Mandos ended up as very much like the Celts is proof that the technique of evolving a character or species - find the niche, then work out what fits it - works every time. It creates something very realistic, because that's how real people and real societies develop. </cite> Celtic people were usually not nomadic! And, once again, non of them were predominantly warriors! It's really hard to be a nomadic farmer. I believe the biggest mistake you made, Ms Traviss, is mixing up the Iron Age (and earlier) tribes that did indeed sack Rome and parts of Greece, and that one day would become the people the Romans conquered. And apart from the Picts they really were conquered. <cite> So all I can say about Mandos and Spartans is that the average Mando would probably tell a Spartan to go and put some clothes on, and stop looking like such a big jessie. </cite>

I'd really like to see a Mando – or anyone – wearing full plate without modern or Star Wars technology in Greece. Happy heatstroke. There is a reason they didn't wear a lot (look up the Battle of Hattîn, where crusaders who didn't wear full helmets and wore chainmail* still suffered badly from heat exhaustion). [Nicolle, David (1993), Hattin 1187: Saladin's Greatest Victory] *chainmail apparently can work like a heatsink CONCLUSION You're wrong. And I felt offended by your FAQ answers. QUESTION You're English. You're from England. A group - a nation - that was historically so warlike and so successful that by now we all speak English. A nation that definitely kicked arse against any Celtic nation trying to go against them (until 1921, and they really tried anyway). A nation that had arguably the largest Empire in history. A nation that still is barbaric and warlike enough that a lost football game has people honestly fearing for their lives.

Also, a Germanic group, since you seem to have trouble keeping language-families and cultures apart. If we were to talk about the family, we could add on the current most aggressively attacking nation (USA) plus the former most aggressively attacking nations (the second and third German Reich), also the people who killed off the Roman Empire for good (the Goths and Visigoth), the original berserkers (the Vikings) and claim at the very least the start of BOTH WORLD WARS. Why did you look further?

Some other sources:

Histoire de la vie privée by Georges Duby and Philippe Ariès, the first book (about the antiquity) I read it translated, my French is ... bad to non-existent

The Day of the Barbarians: The Battle That Led to the Fall of the Roman Empire (about the Huns) by Alessandro Barbero

If you speak Dutch or German, you might try

Helmut Birkhan: Kelten. Versuch einer Gesamtdarstellung ihrer Kultur, Verlag der Österreichischen Akademie der Wissenschaften, Wien

Janssens, Ugo, De Oude Belgen. Geschiedenis, leefgewoontes, mythe en werkelijkheid van de Keltische stammen. Uitgeverij The House of Books

DISCLAIMER

I’m angry and I wrote this down in one session and thus probably made some mistakes. I’m sorry. Or maybe I’m not sorry. I’m still angry. She can’t know who reads her FAQ and at least two of her answers (on her professional website) were offensive to the reader.

#history #england #scotland #ancient celts #roman empire #mandalorians #sparta #proud warrior race #shitty research #rant #me ranting #fuck this #karen traviss

83 notes · View notes

imaginejamesandsirius · 4 years ago

Note

James and Sirius live together. during a meeting with friends, someone makes a comment that James is a terrible neighbor, to which Sirius either agrees or just laughs. despite the fact that it is a joke, James seriously thinks about it and comes to the conclusion that it is true. then James packs up his things to move out while Sirius is away, bc he knows that Sirius will try to talk him out of it (out of politeness?) Sirius catches him before he leaves. what happens next?

Adult parties were weird. When they were kids, parties were basically getting together with your friends while all your parents all talked. When they got a little older, they played games. They got to be teenagers and spent all their parties drinking while they played games.

Then they got to be the adults at parties-- without kids, for now at least-- and they were weird. James enjoyed himself. There wasn't any disputing that, but it was kind of weird. He didn't feel old, but all of them were sitting around-- well, okay, some of them were standing but his point remained the same-- sipping wine and snacking as they caught up.

Because that's all they did at these parties: they caught up with each other. He learned that Marlene's boss had come onto her even though he was married, Dorcas went and threatened him after it happened, and Lily had tried to be supportive about it all but mostly ended up laughing. Work complaints dominated the conversations since that's all any of them spent time doing, but most of them weren't as colourful as Marlene's. Little things. Like Mary's coworker that always asked to borrow a quill and never returned it, but she didn't feel like she could say no when they asked. Or Peter's boss, who always gave him enough time for a project, then asked why it wasn't done halfway through that time limit. James, for his part, liked to complain about the other people on the Quidditch team.

They were all still friends from Hogwarts, but that didn't mean the group hadn't expanded. James and Sirius were the only official couple-- less official and more like they were still dating between one party and the next-- but there were a few other people that were flatmates. James and Sirius lived together, obviously, and then there was Lily and Remus. Everyone else either lived on their own or with a flatmate that none of the rest of them knew. Alice's flatmate had been homeschooled, and apparently was very difficult to live with.

James didn't think anything about the way the conversation he was a part of moved to talking about the person you live with until Lily said to Sirius, "-and he said that James did the same thing in Hogwarts! And I was like 'er, if you want us to keep living together, you have to stop that right now and forever'. He said he'd think about it, but come on! It's like the worst thing in the world, isn't it?" and Sirius laughed. He didn't say, "Yeah, totally," or nod, but he laughed, and it made James feel sick to his stomach, like the wine was churning in his stomach.

"Remus has always been a bit of a tosser," is what Sirius actually replied, and it didn't make James feel any better. He hadn't really been part of the conversation, content to sit on the side and sip at his drink, sometimes paying attention and sometimes not.

It was a pretty unfortunate time for him to be paying attention, but it probably didn't mean anything. Him and Sirius got on each other's nerves sometimes with their little quirks; it didn't mean anything deeper.

James couldn't get it out of his head. He tried to tell himself that Lily had just been venting, Sirius had only replied to the part about Remus and not his own boyfriend, but the more he thought about it, the worse he felt.

He'd brushed it off by saying that him and Sirius had disagreements about their living habits sometimes, but that wasn't true, wasn't it? Sirius didn't do things that James didn't like; James did things that Sirius didn't like. Sirius would talk to him about it, James would get pissy, and they'd compromise.

Why the hell did they compromise? James liked to do everything his way, it's true, but Sirius had never been wrong when he complained. James did rubbish like leave food out overnight and never folded his laundry, and when Sirius asked him to be more mindful, James had pretty much refused. Oh he'd done it in a way that wasn't angry and came across as more joking, but he'd still refused. That had still been the end result: him refusing to do the simplest things. The 'compromise' had been for Sirius to doublecheck the counters before crawling in bed. The 'compromise' had been for Sirius to put the clothes on the couch when they were done, because if James could see it right next to him, he'd fold it just to have something to do with his hands.

And once he'd started thinking of that, he'd realised that he didn't really do a fair share of the household chores. He did dishes, and he cooked, but what else? He hadn't put a lot of thought to it before, but when was the last time he'd cleaned the toilet? Or the kitchen? He didn't do most of the regular household cleaning, and he was as hell didn't do any deep cleaning, like washing the drapes or scrubbing the windows-- both of which he'd seen Sirius do before. He'd always assumed that if Sirius wanted help, he'd ask for it. That had been a rubbish excuse, and he knew it now.

The only real question left was: why the sodding hell had Sirius put up with all of this for so long?

The answer, unfortunately, was obvious. He put up with it because he loved James.

James had never had to question whether or not Sirius loved him, because he said it all the time. When they graduated from Hogwarts, Sirius had told him that he never wanted to live without him. When they decided to move into the same room instead of having two separate beds, Sirius had told him that he loved him more than he'd known was possible. Over the years, it was obvious that that hadn't changed. Sirius still loved him; Sirius would let him get away with anything if it meant they were still together.

And again, compare Sirius's feelings on that to the disagreements they had when Sirius tried to talk to him about something that was bothering him, and it was just easier to let it go.

James knew that if Sirius was presented with the options of keeping James and having to do everything himself, or losing James and getting the perfect flatmate (or boyfriend), Sirius would choose him.

No matter how miserable he otherwise was, he'd choose James. He'd choose James because he honestly believed that he didn't deserve better-- he didn't think that he deserved James, either, but James had worked pretty hard on making sure that Sirius knew that he loved him too.

Sirius would never tell him to leave or be better. James could always try to be better-- and he certainly would be, in the future-- but for now, with Sirius, he knew that he couldn't salvage that. Not completely. He could get better about the chores and the laundry, but he wouldn't be able to trust that Sirius would tell him about any new problems they had. Hell, he couldn't even trust, that he'd caught everything. What else was there that Sirius wasn't drawing his attention to? How often did Sirius put aside what he wanted in favour of something James wanted?

There was no telling.

And James had no idea if Sirius would respond truthfully him if he asked.

There were other options. Better options, probably, but he couldn't think of any. He didn't believe that Sirius would communicate with him if he asked, and he had no way of knowing if what he was doing was wrong without it. Even with it, there was no guarantee that he'd be better.

James had to leave. He had to get away and clear his head. Do some self-reflecting and figure out what kind of person he was versus who he wanted to be.

He'd taken Sirius for granted; he'd taken his presence and his love for granted. He hadn't put in the effort that he should have. He knew that relationships took work, and he'd been putting in only half the effort that Sirius deserved.

Yeah. He needed space. He had to get time away from Sirius and get his head on straight. Did he want to live without Sirius? Of course not. Did he want to break up with Sirius? Hell no. But he thought that it would be better in the long run. For both of them. He had to remember that this was going to turn out for the best, for both of them.

It was still hard to start packing up his things. He'd have to talk to Sirius about it-- he wasn't going to just vanish without an explanation, and after everything else, Sirius definitely deserved to know what was happening-- but there was no need to draw it out. Sirius was at work, so James had plenty of time to get his clothes into the suitcase. He left anything that could've been considered both of theirs where it was. He hadn't put any effort into their life together, so he didn't have any claim to the objects that might represent it. Besides, what would he do with dishes? He was going to the Leaky while he looked for a new place; he wouldn't need dishes or a laundry basket or towels of his own. When he found a new flat, there'd be plenty of time to buy all those things.

James had to cast an expansion charm on his suitcase, and then he sat heavily on the couch.

Everything was packed. This was it. Sirius was going to get home in about an hour, and then he'd have to tell him that he was leaving. He didn't know how he was going to tell him. How the hell did he even start that conversation? 'We need to talk'? 'I need to tell you something'? That one made it sound like he was cheating.

He was going to go drop off his bag and book a room at the Leaky and then come back.

It would be... neater.

He got to his feet and picked up the suitcase. They didn't have a floo linked to their flat since they both preferred apparation, so he turned to the door, only to freeze in place when Sirius opened the door.

"Hey," Sirius said with a smile. He kicked off his shoes like he always did.

"You're home early," James said, feeling panic start to seep into him. His heart was hammering against his ribcage like it wanted to break free. He'd thought that he had more time until he had to do this. Another hour to get it in his head that it was the end and come to terms with it.

"Yeah," Sirius said, still not noticing that anything was amiss. "I figured I could call it an early weekend since I had to work so late the last two days." He stretched his arms over his head with a satisfied groan. "Working at a desk all day really doesn't do me any favours," he said, turning to James with a grin. That was when he noticed James's expression. "Are you alright?"

James reached up with his free hand and rubbed at his face. "Erm."

"What's with the suitcase? I'm pretty sure you have to tell your boyfriend before you go on holiday," Sirius joked. He knew that something was wrong, but he was still joking because he had no idea which direction this was going to go.

James felt like the worst person in the world. "I was going to the Leaky."

"Well that doesn't count as a holiday," Sirius said. He reached for James, and James stepped back. Sirius froze, hand in front of him. "James?"

He swallowed thickly. He hadn't planned what to say. He didn't know what to do that might soften the blow. "I'm moving out."

"What?"

"I-" James stopped, his throat working. "I'm leaving you. I'm going to stay at the Leaky until I find a new place."

Sirius was struck dumb. He stared at James with wide, disbelieving eyes, not moving.

James tightened his grip on the suitcase. He couldn't leave unless Sirius moved, and he wasn't going to push him to the side. When he'd made this decision, he'd agreed that he would tell Sirius why he was doing it. Not all of it, because Sirius would try to tell him that it wasn't true-- he'd say anything to make him stay-- but he deserved an explanation of some sort for all of the time they'd spent together. "I don't think we're happy together."

"What? I was happy. When weren't you happy? You always looked happy to me. If I did something that made you-"

"You didn't do anything," James said miserably. "I swear you didn't. I did some thinking and realised that I haven't been... I need some time to think. I need space, and I don't think that we were good together."

"We aren't good together?" Sirius repeated. "What the hell does that mean? We were perfect together."

He swallowed again. He knew that he had a lot to make up for, and a hundred different things to apologise to Sirius about, but he didn't want to get into that right now. If he brought it up, they'd just end up arguing. Once Sirius had some time to get used to them being apart, then they could talk about all the details. Rather, James could apologise, and maybe Sirius wouldn't argue with him over it. "I disagree. Look, I- I really think we should get some space from each other before we talk about it."

"No! There's no sodding point in putting it off if we can figure it out. James, just- for fuck's sake, listen to yourself," Sirius said, putting his hands on either side of James's face desperately. "We're happy. We've been happy, and we will continue to be for years. Nothing's changed. If you need some space, I can move to the other room for a few days. Or- hell, a month, however long it takes, but don't do this. We don't need to break up. You can sort yourself out here fine; you don't need to go the Leaky and make yourself miserable. Just stay here and everything will be fine."

James shook his head. No, nothing had changed, but that was the problem. James brought up a hand and put it on Sirius's arm to get him to let go, but he found his touch lingering, savouring. "I'm going to miss you," James whispered. He was going to miss going to bed next to him and waking up the next morning, warm and content. His smile, his laugh, the way he got everything wet after a shower because he didn't dry his hair, his leather jacket by the door, the way he kicked off his shoes like he couldn't stand them the second he was home... everything.

He leaned in, pressing a last kiss to Sirius's lips.

Sirius's grip on him went slack. "Please," Sirius whispered against his mouth as tears spilled over.

"I'm sorry." James pulled away and-

He walked out. It was as simple as that. One foot in front of the other. He fished the key from his pocket and dropped it before opening the door. He stepped through, closed the door, and turned on his heel, casting a spell he'd done a hundred times. It felt no different this time to disapparate and land in Diagon Alley right outside of the Leaky Cauldron.

It should've been easy to do all of that, but James could hardly breathe. Sirius was the best thing that had happened to him, and he'd just left him. Abandoned him.

He tried to shake that thought loose.

He didn't abandon Sirius. He told him that he was leaving. Sirius still had the flat and all his belongings, not to mention all his friends. He had plenty of people to turn to if he needed support. He'd be fine.

James had a length of parchment as long as his arm, and he'd been working on a comprehensive list of everything he'd done wrong in his relationship with Sirius. Not every little mistake and time he'd snapped when he was angry, but the patterns he'd fallen into. The things he'd done that showed a disregard for being part of a partnership.

The chores, the thing with the milk, the laundry, that all went on the list-- they were the first things he wrote down since they'd already been on his mind. He'd been staying at the Leaky Cauldron for a week now, and he felt like the list was complete. It was like a testament of his sins, of all the reasons he'd been right to leave because Sirius deserved so much better.

His mind told him it had been the correct decision at the same time his heart screamed in pain.

He missed Sirius. It was like missing half of his self. Any time he left to buy food instead of eating the inn's meals, he bought too much, like he was buying for two and not one. He'd see a ridiculous ad in the Prophet and wanted to turn the paper to show Sirius.

It was going to take a while for him to get used to the change. That's all this was. Sirius had been a part of his life for over a decade. He wasn't going to get used to not seeing him after only a week.

Someone knocked on the door, and James got to his feet to answer it, assuming it was Tom. He didn't know if Tom pitied him or if he did it for all the people that stayed there longer than a night, but he'd taken to checking in on James-- ostensibly to make sure the 'accommodations were still satisfactory'. He opened the door, and instead of Tom, it was Lily.

It was obviously a day that she had off from work, because she was dressed down, hair pulled back, and she wasn't wearing any makeup. "Hey," she said with a small smile. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah. Er, sure," he said, stepping back. There was a small table with two chairs in all the rooms, so James sat down and hid the list from view as she closed the door.

Lily walked over and took the other chair, crossing her legs and putting one arm on the table so she could lean onto it. "How've you been?" She knew about the breakup. James hadn't told anyone, but the sympathy in her face was hard to misplace. Not to mention that she'd known to look for him here.

"I'm fine," he lied. "How's Sirius?"

"A mess. It would almost be interesting to see what someone looks like after having their heart ripped out if I wasn't wondering what the hell you were thinking when you did it. So James, what the hell were thinking? This isn't like you. Sirius means the world to you, and he's hurting right now. You shouldn't be the cause of it, you should be there, comforting him."

"You didn't even ask what happened."

"You said you were fine. If you didn't think this was your fault, you would've been more open about it. Maybe not with me, because I know we don't talk about our feelings with each other all the time, but you would've given me something different than what you'd tell some sodding stranger." She took a deep breath. "Look. Sirius is miserable. You're miserable. You think it's your fault, which-- from where I'm standing-- means this is fixable. If you want to talk to me about it, I'm here. If you'd rather talk to someone else about it, I suggest you give them a visit very soon."

James knew that the smart thing to do would be to tell her that he had the situation in hand, but she was right; he was miserable, and more than that, he was tired of it. He wanted nothing more than to crawl into Sirius's arms and just exist with him again. "Do you remember that party a few weeks ago? You were whinging about something Remus does that drives you barmy."

"I remember."

"And Remus said that I did it too."

"Yeah."

"And Sirius laughed it off."

"I can't say I remember that part too well, but okay. Where are you going with this?"

"I'm terrible to live with. Any time Sirius tried to correct me on something, I blew him off, and he only ever did it for little things anyways. I'm- I was a horrible flatmate-- and by extension boyfriend-- and he didn't talk to me. For a couple things, yeah, he did try to talk to me and I didn't listen, but the rest of it? He never mentioned anything. He shouldn't have had to, I know that now, but it's... I couldn't ask for him to forgive all that."

Lily blinked, slowly digesting that. "So you broke up because you were doing a whole bunch of annoying things around the flat? Is that what you're saying?"

"It's not just the stuff around the flat; it's what it meant. Sirius was having to do everything, and I was acting like a tosser about it for no good reason."

She nodded. "I can see where you're coming from. You want my advice?"

"I'm not sure there's any advice to be given about a relationship that's already finished," James said.

"Do you want my advice or not?"

James motioned as if to say 'go ahead'.

"That's definitely a problem, but I don't think it's something worth breaking up over. Did Sirius say that it was bothering him? Rhetorical question, I know he didn't. He has no idea what's going on. He's convinced you fell out of love with him and never said anything."

"What?" James asked, aghast. "That's ridiculous!"

"You can get into that later. My point is that maybe you did have things that you needed to work on, but all of them combined still don't look like a good enough reason to breakup. You have a problem like that, and you talk about it. You don't bail."

"How would you know? You've never dated anyone for longer than two months. Sirius and I have been together since we were sixteen. It's not really the same."

"Lucky for you, then, that I'm not giving this advice based on my own personal experience. I've never found someone that I can get on with for long enough to have these problems, but I do pay attention. From where I'm sitting, it looks like you had a real problem in your relationship for the first time, and you panicked."

"I didn't panic," James denied. It was a bit of a lie because he had panicked, but it's not like he'd thought of it and then run for the hills. "I looked at the situation and came to the conclusion that we couldn't fix it."

"You came to that decision all by yourself? Without talking to Sirius?"

"That's what 'by myself' means, yes."

"And you don't see a problem with that? That you thought there was this big problem in your relationship and you didn't talk to your partner about it?"

"I'm not really hearing anything that makes me want to change my mind."

"I think Sirius deserves better from you."

James went quiet. "I told him," he said slowly, "that it wasn't his fault."

"Is there a reason you didn't tell him all of this?"

"Yes," James said and didn't elaborate. Lily was judging him enough without him admitting that he hadn't talked to Sirius because he didn't trust him to be honest.

With the time that had passed-- or maybe it was just the space-- that reason didn't sound as good as it had when he left.

He blew out a breath. "Look, thanks for coming by, but we can deal with this on our own."

Lily's expression was tight like she wanted to argue, but eventually she said, "Fine," and got to her feet. "Don't be afraid to owl if you ever want to chat or get tea or summat, yeah?"

"Yeah. It was good to see you."

She left, but the effect her conversation had on James lingered. Maybe he'd overreacted a little. He could've talked to Sirius about it. He should've. He hadn't wanted to bring all of it up with him though, only for Sirius to insist that it wasn't a big deal. He hadn't trusted Sirius to tell him the truth if it did bother him, and if Sirius hadn't realised before that it bothered him, he'd thought that with his absence, Sirius would figure it out.

But James was miserable, and if Lily was to be believed, Sirius was miserable too. The last thing James wanted was to make Sirius sad. He'd broken up with him because he'd genuinely thought that it was the best option.

He'd gotten the time and space that he'd asked for, and he'd changed his mind-- with a little help from Lily, but he wasn't in the mood to admit that to her. The next step would be to talk to Sirius about it, the way he should have from the beginning.

With a sigh, James got to his feet and put on his shoes. He'd check by the flat and see if Sirius was there. If he wasn't, then James would send him a letter and ask if he wanted to talk. The only reason he didn't do that first was because he didn't want to make Sirius worry. If he showed up and they could talk, it would be easier than planning a big meeting and letting both of them get anxious about it.

He walked down to Diagon before disapparating, landing on the welcome mat for their flat. He knocked on the door, then ran a hand through his hair anxiously. What if Sirius told him to get lost? What if they could've worked through the original issues, but James leaving was too much for Sirius to forgive?

The door opened, and James's mind went blank.

"Hey," Sirius said, reserved. There were dark circles under his eyes, but he'd always had trouble getting to sleep. He had his hair pulled back too, which usually meant that he was too tired to take a shower. Sirius looked basically the same way he always did, if a little more worn out; James probably looked a hell of a lot worse.

"Erm. Yeah, hi. Hello." James winced at how awkward that sounded, ruffling his hair some more. "I was... hoping we could talk? About us?"

"Yeah, sure," Sirius said easily, opening the door wide and stepping aside to give James space.

The door closed, and James turned to him, blurting, "Are you mad at me?"

Sirius blinked, confused. "Like, for breaking up with me? I mean, yeah, a little. It came out of nowhere, and you kept saying that we weren't happy together."

"That's not- I mean, yes, that's good to know, but that's not what I meant. Before that. When we were living together like normal. Were you mad at me?"

"No? What kind of question is that? Did you really move out because you thought I was mad at you for some imagined slight?"

"No."

"No?"

"It was more like-" James shifted his weight uncomfortably. "It was more like I thought about all the stuff you were doing around the flat that I refused to help with. Or that thing with the milk? All you did was ask me to put it away when I was done, and instead of saying yes like a good boyfriend, I sodding made you do it."

Sirius blinked at him again. "You left," he said slowly, "because you thought I was pissed off about the milk and the fact that you don't clean the shower."

"It sounds stupid when you say it like that," James muttered.

"I don't care about the sodding milk. Or the way you leave your laundry sitting around for days even though you end up having to wash it again. Does that annoy me? Yeah, but it's- it's not worth you."

"See, that," James said, pointing at him. "That's why I didn't talk to you about first. I knew you'd make excuses and say that it didn't matter to you even when it does."

"You broke up with me because I don't punish you for doing shite that bothers me?" Sirius asked incredulously. "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. You break up with someone because you don't love them anymore or because they've done something you can't forgive, not because you don't always clean the sodding flat."

"But you deserve better. You shouldn't have to do all of that, and you shouldn't have to put up with someone that just lets it happen! I wasn't about to tell you that you have to forgive me over and over when I bugger up."

"Who the hell have you been dating this entire time? Do you even know me? It's me, James. I clean the toilet, like, every single week because it gives me something to do. It doesn't need to be cleaned that often, but you know how I am about cleaning-- or at least you knew when we first moved in together."

"You said it cleared your head," James said, remembering. Bugger. How had he forgotten that? He'd spent weeks thinking about this, and not once had he remembered the way Sirius cleaned his room at the Potter's house every single week like clockwork. At Hogwarts had been different because of the house elves, but when Sirius was anywhere else, he liked to clean. Turn on some music, and he spent a couple hours up to his elbows in cleaning charms and loving it.

"Yeah, so why would this be any different? The milk thing- okay, I admit that one did kind of piss me off, but everything else? Even the laundry thing is annoying when it gets in my way, but I don't actually care. Just- for Merlin's sake, come home. I hate it here without you."

"I thought you'd be happier without me," James said quietly, because it was important to him that Sirius knew where he'd come from. The chores were the details that he'd been wrong about, but the conclusion had come from a place of caring.

Next thing he knew, Sirius was hugging him, arms almost painfully tight. James hugged him back, just as firmly. "Next time you think that, for fuck's sake, ask me first. I'm happy with you."

James swallowed thickly. "I happy with you too. Does this mean I can move back in?"

"If you don't, I'm kidnapping you."

#prongsfoot #marauders #fanfic #james potter #sirius black #lily evans #filled #established relationship #no voldemort au #post hogwarts #siriuslystarbucks #Anonymous

36 notes · View notes

godblessthecactusess · 4 years ago

Text

hola - welcome to another reaction post

Agents of SHIELD - s7ep11: Brand New Day (WARNING – SPOILERS (obviously))

- So straight off the bat, reading the tagline, looks fun - “(in order to win against Sibyl/Nathaniel) they’ll have to get creative, and maybe even a little out of this world.” Intriguing. Looks like we could be in for some fun stuff this episode, but I’m really wondering how we’re going to turn this all around in just three episodes (counting the finale as two), so I’m guessing there’s gonna be a big thing to happen that’s gonna end it all. Like, someone’s gonna die, I’m just gonna say it, it’s gotta happen?

- Also, because I can’t restrain myself, I have been on Tumblr and Twitter today, and I haven’t actively stopped to read what I’ve seen, but because I am rubbish at avoiding it, I have figured out that we’ve got some flashbacks this episode, which appear to have Fitz in them??? I bloody hope so gosh.

- Right, I’m gonna start it. Deep breaths.

- Recap, okay.

- RIP Jiaying.

- Deke is so oblivious but I still love him and wish that Daisy and Deke had been a thing.

- Daisy’s been crying nooo

- So they lost the Zephyr. (And what’s left of the Fitzsimmons fam)

- They went to space??

- Daisy’s gonna fight this bitch. (I know I’ve seen it already in clips but still).

- I’m discovering it’s really hard to type and pay attention.

- “I wanna be an agent of SHIELD” 1. I mean, that’s the show but 2. She says with the face of “but like actually don’t trust me look at my evil grin mwhahahaha”

- Space woowww

- How do all these randos know how to fly the Zephyr??

- Did Deke just make a Die Hard reference? (rhetorical, yes he did); I mean I haven’t seen the entirety of Die Hard, but I watched bits last Christmas and I’ve also watched enough B99.

- …Motherfucker. (again actually something I learned from B99, not Die Hard)

- Aw Mackelena babysitting

- Proof?

- Oh so the team’s finally learning what we learned about time in Endgame.

- “A Brand New Day” got it

- Bro I was gonna say that (about it’s basically Project Insight) but he said it better cos he’s Coulson and he’s cooler.

- “My sister” look at these two

- Ha lies I bet she’s fucking lying

- “Sibyl said” the new version of Simon Says

- Hold up did she just give her the keys?

- DON’T MAKE ME WATCH THIS AGAIN

- IT’S A FITZSIMMONS BEST BITS

- And I’m going to cry

- DON’T hit my BABY

- Elizabeth’s eyebrows are to die for

- WHAT DID THEY DO TO DEKE NO

- Where’s she going huh

- Look Sousa put suspenders on

- Are they his battle suspenders

- Cos that’s the cutest thing ever

- I love him

- “I ALREADY HAVE A SISTER TO SAVE HER NAME IS JEMMA SIMMONS” OMG

- Science Daisy

- So she’s really never flown a quinjet huh

- “It’s your last chance to stay behind” *assertively puts on seatbelt”

- That moment when you don’t know if it’s a cut to the next scene or Mack’s caught them

- No wait he’s got his shotgun axe. Bitch ready to go yes.

- Oh wait he’s telling her off.

- No he’s agreeing.

- Omg yes Mack

- Where does all that water go – I’m assuming there’s a drainage system?

- So they left Mum and Dad behind rip

- Is Kora just in the background reading a book.

- Protective Nana Jemma

- Nate you never cared about ‘your old man’.

- Sousa just leaves his seat

It’s a nice parallel to Goose in Captain Marvel

- They have an auto-grav setting? But like, the quinjet isn’t made for space.

- Daisy, ever the optimistic.

- Mmmmmmspace

- Oooof pulling the Bahrain card.

- If May hadn’t done it, she wouldn’t have had a cool backstory, so put that in your pipe and smoke it Kora

- Mmmmmcreepy messages through a virus in 1980s aesthetic. What a…. well… aesthetic.

- Sassy Coulson back at it again.

- I mean you are a fucking robot can’t you just plug yourself in or some shit; I’M NOT VERY SCIENCY OKAY

- Oh great another “last mission” convo

- Sounds like you will.

- Thanks I’m crying

- Oh wait he doesn’t remember the kiss I forgot that, shit.

- Can’t just break a fucking window Nate, you’re gonna have to pay for that. Like literally with your own money, please and thanks, I don’t think the team brought any money with them.

- Ooh love a good Coulson talk.

- Honestly where would the team be without May? Dead, I think.

- Burnt toast.

- Did she just say Grant Ward.

- Yes she did.

- Ward would have been worse without Garrett? Uh I think not, not if someone had just called Child Services, and gotten him some fucking therapy.

- “What are your intentions with Daisy?” Dad Mack coming through, “no funny business” and all that.

- “I don’t have any intentions.” WHAT A LIE DANIEL HAHAHAHAHA YOU CRADLED HER HEAD ON YOUR LAP WHEN SHE WAS INJURED, YOU CARRIED HER BRIDAL STYLE OUT OF THAT BARN, YOU WERE GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY TO LEAVE THIS WHOLE MESS, BUT LOOKED RIGHT AT A SLEEPING, RECOVERING DAISY AND SAID “IM RIGHT WHERE I NEED TO BE”, YOU SAT AND NAPPED IN A CHAIR BY HER BEDSIDE THE ENTIRE TIME, YOU DIDN’T SAY NO WHEN SHE KISSED YOU, SO EXCUSE ME MISTER “NO INTENTIONS” BUT I THINK YOU MIGHT BE WRONG

- “Well then you better get some” omg we stan mack even though his voice is so deep I often miss what he says

- “omg shes like so into you gurl” is basically what I just heard. (picture 2000s american teenage girl, phone pressed to ear, chewing gum really loudly etc.)

- “sir” HES SO POLITE

- I’m loving this chat and its so true, every single one of them would massacre Sousa if he hurt Daisy.

- “just like a damn comic book” ahaha haha…. ha. yep.

- But I do love a good comic book joke in the show.

- Wasn’t it in like s4, and Coulson said something about Daisy being Director and she was like “ha yeah maybe in the comic book version”? idk man im rewatching SHIELD because I have the worst memory but that was funny too

- These two’s eyebrows in this scene god.

- Honestly if you get the chance to rewatch this scene just watch Mack and Sousa’s eyebrows as they turn to look at each other it’s adorable.

- Alright Sousa no need to be so mean I think it’s a great name.

- These two giggling together omg the one things I didn’t know I needed.

- 19th century definitely was.

- FINALLY SOME NEW FITZ AT LAST

- “can you give us a moment” “yes” “…..oh”

- What are you suggesting fitz my darling

- …sooooooooooo….

- Some time to have a kid maybe.. idk… grow old together…

- What bloodwork? Did I miss a thing?

- Snuggling Fitzsimmons ahhhhh

- I didn’t think Kora would be so sad omg. Now I feel bad for her shit it wasn’t meant to be this way, I-

- Fitz looks so different omg

- Omg Fitz grabbing onto her and hugging im soft omg what a beautiful trope

- WHO’S FITZ WTF OMG NO FUCK SHIT CRAP AHHHHHHHH

- A kickass fight scene nice

- Uh oh

- Nice one May

- “Sunshine” what an asshole

- They’re gonna decimate everything wtf

- Wasn’t there all those ships in the trailer

- “quake”

- Look at these cuties

- Thanos could turn you to dust too.

- SORRY too soon

- Uhhhhhhhhhh what the fuck is happening

- They’re just wiping out shield

- Rip the Triskelion

- DON’T YOU TOUCH HER LIKE THAT oh look now I’m being protective wtf is happening to me

- Urgh absolutely disgusting

- Well shit

Uhhhhhhh so this is problematic. I mean, by all accounts, they could just leave this timeline and go back to the OG one. I mean, there’s a canon timeline where Steve learns early that Bucky is alive, Loki has the Tesseract and Steve just told a elevator full of Hydra agents “Hail Hydra” (so a highly chaotic timeline, that the avengers just left) so they could just leave but like, that’s unethical, i guess???? Oh well.

Let’s go have a look at the new trailer for the FINALE!! ARGH omg its all ending and I’m sad

WELL im going to cry aren’t I? ffs

Daisy’s accepting that this is their last mission.

“This is what we were fighting for.” Which issss….?

It really is the end, huh.

The finale will make me cry. There’s not many SHIELD episodes that have made me do that. I think the one that made me cry the most was the spy’s goodbye. And I seem to remember crying when Fitzsimmons were at the bottom of the ocean, and then laughing through my sobs bc the shot of Fury coming down from the helicopter, arm outstretched like Jesus was the most hilarious thing I had ever seen; but other than that? Not many.

I’m excited and terrified at the same time. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF. HELP.

#agents of shield #aos #Phil Coulson #melinda may #Daisy Johnson #Mack #yo yo rodriguez #jemma simmons #leo fitz #fitzsimmons #marvel #MCU #tv #finale #The Final Mission #help

12 notes · View notes

typewriterghcst · 4 years ago

Text

Title: Comme Il Faut

Rating: Gish, but there is a. uh. Suggestive Joke right before the cut

Fandom: The Cat Returns

Characters: a younger Cat King and Natori

Summary: He missed out on a lot of cardinal priming for his eventual position. Now unofficially under his advisor’s discreet tutelage, the new Cat King can’t quite say he’s sorry to have never been forced to learn the finicky etiquette surrounding a proper meal… but a bowl of homemade soup for his trouble isn’t that bad a motivator.

Notes: For the prompt ‘Over a cup of tea’ from this meme, which I again chose on my own bc I mean. I might as well right……. anyway, hopefully this won’t spiral out of control like the dancing one did rip Also despite the prompt being ‘over a cup of tea’, on a whim I changed this to ‘over a bowl of noodles’ because the Mr. Ping muse is evidently still hanging around even all these years later Filled with headcanons and some references to a much longer fic in progress detailing this particular part of their relationship coughs

&&&

“Your paw is in your lap again.”

The look this pointed but nonchalant observation earns him is affronted, exasperated, as the younger cat sets his unoccupied paw back on to the flimsy table before them.

“I don’t know why all this baloney matters, Natty. Is anyone really gonna give a crap if both paws aren’t on the table at all times..?”

“Well, they may come to the unfortunate conclusion that you’re feeling perhaps a bit feisty, but I suppose if that doesn’t bother you, then…”

Natori doesn’t have to look up from his work to know the new king most likely wears an indignant, scandalized look; he hears him shift in his seat anyway, leaning back, crossing his arms grumpily. When he speaks, it’s with a very characteristic sullen mumble.

“Don’t be crude.”

It’s here that Natori finally turns his attention from the portable stovetop to his companion, and it’s with a contrite smile, at least, which seems to appease Claudius somewhat.

“I’m sorry, Your Majesty. I shall behave.”

Claudius scoffs. “All you do is behave. Someday, I’m going to order you to live a little, and you’re gonna just keel over because I finally found the one thing you can’t do.”

“There’s worse ways to die, I suppose.”

“Not many.”

Then, silence, as Natori doesn’t respond in favor of adjusting the flame and fanning his (for once uncovered) paw over the foaming pot. Just a few moments of this is all it seems to take for Claudius’ minuscule store of patience to run dry. He flops onto the table before him with a dramatic groan, muffled only slightly by the surface his face is now smushed against.

“This is so boring—! If I’d had to do this as a kid, I woulda kicked my tutor in the shin.”

Upon the deadpan knowing look he gets from Natori, the king amends himself, “...Okay, I would have kicked more tutors in the shins. Whatever, isn’t there something you can do to make this less excruciating?!”

“Isn’t that what the soup is for?” Natori asks mildly.

“Oh, yeah. How’s that coming, anyway? Smells pretty good.”

“It won’t be long.”

In the silence that follows, Natori waits for another plaintive outburst from Claudius, but to his surprise, it never comes. Claudius instead seems to find absorption in his own thoughts, and it’s not long at all before he makes them known.

“Where’d you learn this stuff, anyway?”

“The cooking or the boring etiquette?”

“The cooking, duh.”

Natori hesitates, stirring the noodles briefly; he unintentionally gives the impression that he’s reluctant to reveal the truth, which only intrigues Claudius more. “...My grandmother taught me.”

"Did she teach you how to sew, too?"

"Yes," Natori answers patiently. In the fleeting time Claudius hasn't been paying attention, his advisor has already filled two bowls with noodles and is now ladling relatively clear, tawny broth over the top of them. Distantly, he feels his stomach growl in anticipation.

"Would you like some doubanjiang?"

"Some wha..?"

Wordlessly, Natori hands the jar to Claudius, who wastes no time at all in scrutinizing the paste or giving it a cautionary sniff.

“This stuff spicy?”

“It is spicy.”

Claudius hands it back. “I’ll take a rain check on it, then.”

“Suit yourself.”

“Gimme some extra beef, though.”

Natori complies, but once more without a word, and the reserve irks Claudius just slightly. He knows he isn’t, but it feels somewhat like he’s being ignored. He clicks his chopsticks together, and whether it’s out of impatience or peevishness, Natori’s chiding response is the same regardless— a mild, “Misusing one’s eating utensils is generally not recognized as acceptable behavior, sire,” as he places one of the bowls before the king.

Claudius grins at his advisor as if he’s come out the victor of some covert competition, but Natori can not for the life of him puzzle out what that competition might be. He might even wager the king himself doesn’t really know.

Then, seeing Claudius preparing to pick up his bowl and most likely gulp it down, he hastily adds, “A proper meal is one that’s savored.”

Claudius pauses mid-lift and shortly after deflates in frustration, plopping his bowl back down again. “Yeah, yeah, alright. We’ll do it the respectable way.”

Spoken while stabbing at a piece of beef with one of his chopsticks querulously. Natori resists the urge to put his head in one of his paws, making the mental note to address that another time.

“...you know, when I’ve been king long enough, I’m getting rid of all this stuffy rubbish.”

“The elders will decry the new regime as vulgar extravagance,” Natori remarks with a tickled laugh.

“They’ll get used to it.” Then, after finally taking a bite of his soup now that his momentary petulance has worn off, “Hey— your soup is actually good.”

“You sound surprised— not necessarily the most polite of ways to issue a compliment, I might add.”

“That’s not how I meant it,” Claudius grumbles. “I just… I mean…”

What he meant is consigned to remain a mystery, as he never does pick his trailing thought back up, descending instead into apparent morose rumination. Natori doesn’t rush him, unsure himself over what to say.

It had been not two weeks ago the two could hardly stand to be in the same room together without taking veiled potshots at each other, if not outright quarreling, at least when not accompanied by King Aelius or other companions. Reaching an understanding and two very genuine apologies did not make for an instant camaraderie on their own.

“...Thank you,” Natori does eventually settle on, his eyes still averted. “I-It’s not anything special, but I suppose it does remind me of home.”

Claudius looks up from his soup, and the stormy brow he’d been sporting softens some. He, too, then averts his gaze.

“Sounds nice.”

“I’m sorry,” Natori says, and though it feels like the proper response, he can’t explicitly trace what reasoning has led him to it.

Meanwhile, Claudius only shrugs, popping the last piece of cubed beef from his bowl into his mouth and propping his head against one of his paws (the other is, once more, folded in his lap below the table). “It is what it is.”

Continuing on, in a way Natori would have previously read as defiant or vindictive, he offhandedly stabs his chopsticks into the few remaining noodles and leaves them there, and the look he spies on Natori’s face when he turns his attention to his advisor tells him he’s probably committed a number of faux pas.

With a sardonic snort, he says, “Guess I got a long way to go, huh?”

Natori, while rather gently and methodically removing the chopsticks and laying them beside the king’s bowl, offers a more optimistic (if shy) angle. “You’ll get there.”

“With this soup, I will.”

Ah. One truth revealed, it seems. Natori meets Claudius’ wide smirk with a faintly playful look of his own, head canted just slightly in knowing amusement, and the tacit agreement seems to be all the king needs to add yet another inscrutable victory to his ongoing arcane list. Motivation and indulgence are often inexorably wed, after all.

#the cat returns #jfjfkd;a i finished another small drabble in record time :v #i started this one last night holy c rap #it's not very long but wOW is that a fast turnaround for me l mao

3 notes · View notes

crafiet · 6 years ago

Note

Constellations Ask Game: Andromeda, Aquarius, Aries, Corvus, Draco, Gemini, Hydra, Libra, Lyra, Pyxis, Taurus, Ursa Major, Ursa Minor, Canis Minor, Crux, Indus, Lupus, Puppis, and lastly Virgo

hehe

Project Asks:

Andromeda - Describe your main charactersahhh im so bad at thisary: scarred, pstd-ridden, 25 year old mage. cold, calculated, a compulsive liarcyri: my bby sunshine, naive and kind, living up to unrealistic expectations set by his fatherash: a kings daughter, confused between whats right and what she has to uphold, snarky, gaycaena: old, short and angry about it, princess, last of her house, thinks herself above all other rulers Aquarius - Who’s your least favorite character to write?ash because i havent explored her as much as the others. like i know her, but since i dont know a lot about politics or royal happenings shes hard to figure out. i have a lot of qs about her in my notebookAries - Share a line that you’re proud of!i have to open my fuckn docs grumblegrumble“Z looked extremely young for her age, as though she had spent the last decade soaking in a bath and eating fruit instead of leading her men into battle like the warmongering tyrant she was.”Corvus - Who or what is the villain of the story?there are multiple, everyone in any sort of power tbh. rebel!Draco - Who’s your favorite character to write?i have a soft spot for cyri bc his softness and kindness is so rare to find in real life and i jus wanna protect himGemini - What inspired you to write this project?well, i was sitting at the dining table eating back when i was 17? and i was thinking about prisoner tropes. then i thought how it would be cool to have an opening scene where the mc is released from prison. and there u go.Hydra - Tell us why you love your project.ive been working on it for 5 fucking years now if i didnt love it id be crazyLibra - Which relationship dynamic do you enjoy writing the most?ary and cyri. originally they were lovers and some of that instant close connection still lingers with them, ary is v soft with him lmao but so are the rest. those damn green eyesLyra - Give us a few songs that fit your project!unbecoming-starsetmasquerade-tokio hotelblue-troye sivanPyxis - Are there any major themes or messages you’re writing to show?i mean theres the typical writing themes, but ive never been able to write messages or morals. maybe just that ‘the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb’Taurus - Tell us why you hate your project.it just keeps evolving and has so many subtleties and nuances that i dont think im good enough to write ughUrsa Major - What scene are you looking forward to writing?some bonding moments between the crew! i dont have friends so idk how to write group friendships but im gonna try Ursa Minor - What’s the setting?high-fantasy, medieval inspired

Writer Asks:Canis Minor - Share an excerpt of old writing and new writing to see how far you’ve come!oh shit ok okokokone of the earlier drafts:They packed, for they would not return. Ary shovelled everything in messily, while Cyri took his time. They tramped down the stairs after Cyri had insisted straightening the beds to look neat. The bar was empty, as it was midmorning, only the barmaid stood wiping the bench. She glanced up once, caught Ary’s eye and looked away fearfully.Ary’s heart skipped in her chest. Had the beggars frequented The Badger’s Inn and told tales of what had transpired? Would soldiers rain down on them? Yet nothing came. Cyri opened the door and gestured for her to go first, with nothing but a pleasant expression. She nodded thanks and slipped into the bright daylight. The city had not changed.new stuff:In the centre of the city, visible from all angles Ary guessed, were three huge obsidian towers, knife points against the sky. The Queen’s towers. From what she had heard by Arch prisoners, was that she never left those towers, appearing only through a balcony for celebrations of worship. Gargoyles littered buildings, cracked and weather-beaten. As they walked, they came across numerous churches and places of worship, all depicting Queen Z in various poses suggesting dominance, power, and wealth.The fountains were iced over, overgrown vines dipping into the water and stuck there. Debris and rubbish covered the ground to the point the group had to pick their way across the street, jumping over things.ive tried so fucking hard to improve my description sobCrux - Villains or Heroes?uh both, both can be done well. i dont really have a preference anymore, especially since anti-heroes are so big rn. its more about the character than the archetypeIndus - Are there any characters or stories you miss writing? Tell us about them!lmao well my ol girl cara who was in a comic when i was 13 never stopped pestering me so i put her with some other newer extra characters from another project into a new project but idk what that is yet.Lupus - Have you abandoned other WIPs? Tell us about some and why you abandoned them?what HAVENT i abandoned holy fuck. i had several vampire things, dystopian things [i started writing regularly when those themes were popular], a lot of contemporary things??? i dont write contemporary the fuck.Puppis - Give us a piece of advice! (about anything)anything you say?????? youre always overestimating the consequences. theyre always less than u think. now go commit arsonVirgo - Describe your favorite tropes.uhhh do i have any? lol. hmm i like the found-family, ensemble cast trope. i like characters with an established reputation before the book starts. i cant think of any ahhhh

#writing #cloudybookash

4 notes · View notes

lovefoolheart · 7 years ago

Note

shame that nobody of gays treats with kindness anyone who is not the same as them, on the contrary they are hysterical. The truth is that your tolerance is fake, you can't even stand anyone who doesn't even think the same of you. I am gay and I'm not friendly with this carnaval presenting gays like crazy prostitutes on the streets. You can't even realise you're part of a lost generation (suddenly so many gays?). Harry Styles can only inspire shit from the ass.

- (2)Gay Parades are deeply RACIST against anyone who is not the same as you, that is pure HATE. Grow up little girl, one fine day you’ll find out if you fight something, you become that thing. (3) no wonder all the people with a brain think you’re rubbish. Go on, continue with carnaval please._____________________________________________________________

(Putting all of this together bc i’m pretty sure you’re the same person)

First of all, chill. You aren’t that much of a better person by insulting people you don’t know online (and hiding yourself with anon). I don’t know what made you this hateful against pride. I hope you at least know why pride parades started (check out the Stonewall riots, if you don’t). Truth is, you don’t know how important it is here in Italy. We’re still fighting for some rights that this community already has in other countries. We show the government that we exist and that we deserve better, thanks to the institutions that believe in this parade. And we’re still fighting because last month one of our ministers said that lgbt families don’t exist for the law. Every year our parade has a sign with a political motto in the front because that’s the goal of the whole thing. In 2015 we gained civil unions thanks to parades and demonstrations. We fought for 30 years to have this right. Just try to tell me it’s useless or whatever.

We aren’t a lost generation. LGBT+ people have always been this many. It’s only that in the past most of them hid themselves or didn’t even know the lgbt community was a thing.

You call Pride a carnaval. The thing is, you wouldn’t be able to show your true self in public if it wasn’t for the carnavals that we made in the past. Everyone wants us to stand back and accept injustice and prejudice, and I’m sorry but I refuse. I want to show my true colors because I exist and I have the right to be myself. Pride is one of the few days in which people feel free to be themselves without fearing the people that still think it’s a sin to be different. Don’t take this from us. Let us be happy for at least a day in a world that keeps telling us that we don’t deserve shit.For the record, Milan’s Pride Parade accepts everyone (lgbt, allies, poc, disabled people). And since here in Italy we have problems with immigration, we also fight against racism and the construction of borders. So if you don’t wanna take part in the parade, it’s ok, don’t partecipate. But don’t come here and tell that it isn’t inclusive or that it’s racist.

Another thing: I can assure you Harry Styles has inspired and helped many people by acknowledging the lgbt fanbase and by waving our flags on stage. He does his best to make us feel accepted and to pass the message of treating everyone with kindness. Fans all over the world are trying to pass this wonderful message because this world needs kind people. I find it amazing.

Maybe the one that needs to grow up is you, cause that way you’ll understand. We need pride. Harry Styles inspires people. You can fight for what you believe is right and have fun at the same time.

Please learn to treat people with kindness everyday, it’ll be worth it.

#anon #message #lgbt #words #milano pride 2018 #harry styles #i know you will never read it all but whatever #kilachu talks

3 notes · View notes

eeveelutionsforequality · 7 years ago

Note

@mod vape, do you have any tips for dealing with hypersexuality or addiction? bc uh. getting off hurts. idk if it’s specifically because ive been doing it so goddamn much or because of the fucking legion of medical problems i have, but it’s DEFINITELY making my abdominal pain worse and i dont know how to stop gjdfjhk.

Well, firstly, go to the doctor about that pain - there are injuries, illnesses, sexual dysfunctions, and all sorts of things from that could be causing a pain like that (it could be a pulled muscle, a cyst, maybe you aggravated a pre-existing health issue, etc), and it's best to rule out anything too dangerous as soon as you can, and to treat anything treatable. Even if it is tied to or caused by overdoing sex/masturbation, just mitigating that habit isn't guaranteed to fix it.

I was getting some pretty bad pain from even small dildos/vibrators, and I decided to go to the doctor in case it was something dangerous - thankfully, it turned out to just be a sexual dysfunction (basically spasms and tightening of the muscles in the vagina, in my case caused by trauma). I was supposed to get therapy for it, but I never went because I was having another therapy at the time and my carer was like "But what if they cancel each other out!?" and I was like "That's not how it works..." Sometimes it acts up but I think I've got it mostly under control. I've also had to go to the doctor for sprained/strained wrists more times than I would like to admit... I used to be like "Oh I played my guitar for too long" or "Oh I think I leant on my walking stick for too long" and now I'm just like "Wanker's cramp".

Trust me and my plethora of injuries when I say that doctors are professionals, they went to medical school, they see genitalia on a daily basis, they've seen eyes and ears and giant sores full of puss... it's really rare to get a doctor that will look down upon or judge you for that. Sure you'll get the odd "You should masturbate less", "Here's a big speech about the risks of STDs and pregnancy", "Have you told your therapist about this", but it's more of an "I'm contractually obliged to impart medical advice" than an "I think you're gross" 99% of the time.

Secondly, I do have tips, but I'm still hella bad at dealing with my own issues - I still smoke more than I want to, drink til I puke, sleep with strangers, lose days to laying in bed alone, have an aching pain in my wrists, etc. Obviously I don't have all of the answers, so I can't promise that they'll be the best tips in the world - it's worth doing some more research of your own, and it might be worth talking to your doctor/therapist if you can't manage it on your own.

You haven't given much detail about how specifically it affects you or what the addiction is to (sexual stuff in general, masturbation, casual sex, porn, etc), so I'm going to try to cover as much as I can (like dealing with sexual thoughts about people in your life, limiting the number of times you masturbate, etc) and I hope that at least some of what I say is useful to you.

Okay, so the first tip I have is: try not to slip into the mentality that cold turkey is the only way to go if it's not what you want - thinking "I can't have this. I'm not allowed this." can increase cravings. Thinking "I'm allowed this later... if I stay motivated not to do it now and if I only do it in moderation, and it's gonna be great." can make waiting out those cravings a lot easier, provided you have the self-control to not slip back into a bad habit after once.

Ways to avoid slipping back into bad habits include: having time (or number of the thing) limits for when and how long you are allowed, having something to do afterwards that takes your mind off it (for example "once I've done it once, I have to get up, take out the rubbish, email my boss, read that global warming article, and get ready for bed"), other rewards/punishments (put a book you really want in your Amazon basket then click "save for later", if at the end of the fortnight you've accomplished your goal then buy the book, if you fail the fortnight resets and you have to wait two more weeks - set smaller goals with smaller rewards, and larger goals with larger rewards), keeping and going over a diary so that you can see what worked and what didn't, if there's a pattern to failures, progress even if you're not meeting goals (at which point try to make the upcoming goals a little easier since you're expecting too much of yourself), and so on.

Secondly, and it's the most generic tip ever but it's SUPER important for addictions because they can damage your pre-frontal cortex... healthy diet, exercise, meditation, mental exercises, getting some sun, and other daily tasks are super important.

You need to get into the habit of something like reading or pottery or drawing for at least half an hour to an hour every day - turn off your internet, games, distractions, and maintain concentration on what you're doing. This helps repair the effects that addictions can have on your pre-frontal cortex and dopamine receptors by activating the parts of your brain that work towards maintained motivation and focus for smaller or distant rewards, which in turn will help your brain work normally again, which in turn will increase motivation and willpower.

Cooking more difficult meals will have similar benefits and a healthy diet improves your overall health. Exercise does the same even more effectively than either, and it has the added bonus of energizing you, increasing your focus on other tasks that you do afterwards, various health benefits, lifting your mood, and helping you be tired by the end of the day so that you'll be able to sleep easier - insomnia is a really dangerous trigger for any addiction, but especially a masturbation or sex addiction, because you're in an environment that is associated with that behaviour and the behaviour makes it easier to sleep afterwards, so you've every reason to start doing it if you find yourself unable to sleep.

Which brings me on to another reason why keeping a diary is especially important - you need to isolate your triggers. Establish what happened immediately before the behaviour, what you were thinking, and what potentially led to the behaviour. Then you can work towards either avoiding those triggers, lessening them, being mindful of them, or training yourself to exhibit a different behaviour in response to them - for example, if having a shower triggers you to masturbate, try singing in the shower instead, training your brain to react to showers with the urge to sing instead of the urge to masturbate.

You might also want to try sleeping meds, so that you can take them, read until they start to kick in, and then immediately go to bed and try to sleep - that way there's less of a gap between going to bed and falling asleep where something could happen.

Routine can also be really helpful for some people - you're supposed to fall asleep between about 10pm and 1am for optimal sleep, and you're supposed to wake up between 6 and 8 hours later. Get out of bed as soon as you wake up to avoid lethargy, and either exercise or go for a short walk, or do something that starts your brain and body working for the day. After that, prepare breakfast, don't watch TV or distract yourself while you eat. Continue the day with a routine that works for you, and you could set a time at which you will masturbate (or maybe a date you're allowed to go to the club and pull... how you work in routine if you have a long-term sexual partner is something you would need to talk to them about) that doesn't interfere with your routine.

Avoid bars, pubs, clubs, tinder, grindr, and anything else that can be a trigger for that or makes quick hook-ups easy - I know that I can go to the pub near me (because there'll be nobody there for that, it's an "old people come here to watch football" pub), and that I can go to a pub or bar with friends if I'm having a good day, but making sure that my flat wasn't within walking distance of a club and deleting dating apps was really helpful to me (it meant that even if the temptation was there the effort required to act on it was too much and took too long, so I'd catch myself).

I also log off any tumblr that I'm following people on that post NSFW, porn, sexual stuff or anime stuff if necessary - just like how I log off any tumblrs where I follow political blogs if I'm getting overwhelmed by that. But it is still good to have a tumblr for NSFW stuff, to have somewhere that you can express certain things, reblog things, feel less alone, enjoy things that you enjoy - don't demonize the side of you that likes sex, don't lock it in a cell in the back of your head, just tell it that it can't control you.

I'm also working on not putting myself in as many situations that can make me feel like I'm being too flirty or as many situations that cause too many uncomfortable or sexual thoughts at a time when they're stressing me - like, I don't come online as much when I'm drunk now, I don't have as many sleepovers, and I don't tend to maintain physical contact for as long (like, I don't hold hands as often as I used to), for example.

That said, you can't live out your life hiding from people who your brain might think something sexual about - isolating yourself is unhealthy. Humans are social creatures and social interaction is good for us, talking to people about our problems is good for us, distractions and fun are good for us. I find structured social plans make things easier - so, I like plans like "lets cook together then eat the awesome meal", "lets go see a movie", "lets go to the town center and taste hot chocolate from as many cafés as we can before I puke", "lets go to the fair" and things like that (that said, agoraphobia is awful and ruins like 90% of my social interaction). Keep people in your life who you're comfortable with and who make you happy.

Remember that what you're thinking or mental images that pop into your head aren't evil, it doesn't mean that you have a crush on them, that you actually want to do sexual things with them, that you can't be their friend, or anything like that... they're just thoughts. You didn't choose them. Just let them pass.

Your surroundings and triggers are incredibly important things to stay on top of though, be that to mitigate stress in social situations, or to prevent you from engaging in more sex/masturbation than you want to or than is safe for you to.

Don't spend your day in the same place that you masturbate - even if you don't live alone you can avoid being in bed when you're in your room, you could get a sofa, beanbag, comfy chair, gigantic cushion, or other comfortable place to sit in your bedroom so that you don't have to be in your bed, and put that in a part of your room with different posters/decoration to those around your bed.

Lots of things can become associated with certain behaviours in your brain, from sitting in a certain place to feeling a certain emotion. Try to avoid being too exposed to those things at times when you don't intend to be doing something sexual, and replace them with other things that make you happy, keep you distracted, and aid in training concentration and willpower (maths games, board games, card games, puzzles, reading, cooking, exercise, drawing, writing, etc).

Even things like separating any porn or sexual pictures in your phone into a hidden folder instead of having it pop up when you go to look for pictures, or keeping magazines or the pornhub bookmark out of sight, can really help with lessening the regularity with which things pop into your head.

Finally, and I've hinted at it throughout this, mindfulness and meditation are things that many addicts find incredibly helpful. It's really worth doing some googling, watching some YouTube videos, and learning those techniques (and it's good to be doing research in general into ways to help addictions or hypersexuality disorders, because there are quite a few schools of thought and there are probably a lot of things that I've missed).

Meditation, like reading and exercise, helps train your mind into maintaining focus, not reacting to distractions and urges, relaxing, letting thoughts pass by, and being less hectic and loud - it also has health benefits, can help you sleep, can help you take time from your busy schedule to yourself (an urge that may have been previously feeding the addictions instead, as they can be linked to a need for control), and can help you work through thoughts or anxieties.

Mindfulness helps in various ways too - for example, smokers found that being mindful (observing, essentially) helped them quit because it led to them paying more attention to how bad the cigarette tasted, and it also allowed them to non-judgmentally observe the cravings that they felt, observe why they were feeling those cravings, and allow them to pass by. It's about letting your thoughts exist, letting things exist, acknowledging them, but not letting them control you.

You can study mindfulness for yourself - research it online, read one of the many books about it, watch YouTube videos, etc - or you can go to the doctor and ask for a therapy that teaches mindfulness (I found learning about it in my own time more helpful, and have had more success with that, but I think that was mostly related to not having a great therapist - plus, online gives me more opportunities to look into the how and why, to see how other people do it, to look deeper into it, to take as long as I need, while therapy was just an elderly lady snapping at me for using my phone and telling me to imagine that my thoughts are clouds and distracting me constantly).

So yeah...

Step 1: Go to the doctors for that pain, it's probably something minor but it's better safe than sorry.

Step 2: Do more research, Mod Vape doesn't know everything.

Step 3: Keep a diary and try to isolate what things are triggering you, what you're feeling beforehand, and be mindful of what you're thinking, what you're feeling, and what you're gaining/losing from the experience.

Step 4: Try to keep yourself away from things that trigger you, but also remember that you don't have to entirely abstain from valuable things - you can train new reactions as responses to those things, you can work on self-control, and so on.

Step 5: Work on your routine, diet, exercise, habits, and hobbies, so that you can improve your willpower, motivation, and health.

Step 6: Research and practice meditation and mindfulness.

Step 7: Set and work towards small goals, rewarding yourself for successes and keeping track of your progress.

Step 8: If you can't control the addiction or behaviour, if the thoughts are becoming difficult to live with, if these problems continue to cause you distress, there is no shame in seeking professional help. You don't have to do this alone.

Remember that chemical imbalances and other neurological issues can cause such things - if you can't manage it alone, that could be a warning sign that something serious or physiological is going on. Not being able to quit doesn't necessarily mean that somebody's "not trying hard enough", and instead of beating yourself up talk to somebody who can do blood tests, scans, or whatever else is necessary to make sure that you're okay and that you overcome your struggles.

~ Vape

#Mod Vaporeon

9 notes · View notes

mclennunf · 8 years ago

Note

Hello! Whenever you decide to write five again I have a prompt: paul is upset bcs everyone thinks he's the girl in the relationship (bcs he's so feminine y'know) and John wants to prove he's not. :) Thanks!!

hello! im sorry for not getting to this sooner. i had a difficult time with this one, because i have no tolerance for people saying “who is the girl?” when referring to a homosexual relationship. i don’t think you were aiming for that at all, so im going to portray this as John and Paul dealing with the homophobia that we all know is very real, and like my great friend @paulmcmuffin said, not all of my one shots need to be rainbows and cupcakes. they can have some sadness to them, and i hope this one shot helps get to point across that it is not okay to say things like “Paul is the woman” of their relationship, obviously in any gay relationship not just Paul and John’s. i hope everybody, including you anon, can understand my point! im also modernizing this one with a homophobic interviewer.

The famous Lennon-McCartney duo had recently come out to the public with their relationship. It had gone over quite well, and people were responding much better than John and Paul could’ve hoped. They had begun to get invitations to pride events and they were being asked to do a lot more interviews than before, and the lads didn’t mind one bit. Of course, there was backlash as well. Mean tweets and comments were made, but John and Paul could only expect so much. They were beginning to grow tired of all of the questions at this point though. They didn’t want their relationship to be extremely public, but it didn’t seem as though it was going the way they planned. Once again, they had another interview. Just the two of them on the couch with an interviewer. John was already groggy that morning because he and Paul had been called a few rude names on their way into the studio where they were being interviewed. Paul always shrugged it off, but it bothered John very much.

“Good morning! My name is Jeffry.” The interviewer stood up to greet them, shaking their hands professionally. “Mornin’,” John grumbled. Paul shot him a look that said “BE POLITE” and John slightly let out a chuckle. “Good morning, pleasure to meet you.” Paul smiled and shook the man’s hand. Jeffry looked like a typical interviewer, with a suit and tie and his hair slicked back proper. “Thank you for agreeing to see me,” Jeffry said as he began recording. “I’m sure you’ve been extremely busy since the announcement.” He said, almost shifting uncomfortably. John raised a brow and looked at Paul, who didn’t seem to notice. “Quite busy, we’ve been. Lots of people want to hear all about us, now.” Paul smiled at Jeffry, who, as John noticed, did not smile back.

“Yes, your relationship has been the talk of the country. How does that feel?” Jeffry asked, crossing his legs. “Well, you know, it’s been rather nice. We do still want our privacy, though.” Paul explained. John sighed, he hated this. But he knew Paul wanted to do it. “A lot of people have said you’ve only done it for publicity. What’s your take on that?” Jeffry had the nerve to say. “I think it’s rather disgusting that people would believe we would lie about our sexuality for publicity.” John spoke up, with a rather rude tone that Jeffry indeed, caught onto. “It has boosted your fame rather quickly.” Jeffry added. “Indeed, but the only thing, you know, we want it do is help people in our situation to, you know, not be afraid to be themselves.” Paul started to sound nervous. “Understandable.” Jeffry nodded. “You must remember that Paul and I have been kept in the closet our entire lives, and being apart of the biggest band around and keeping that a secret hasn’t been easy for us.” John straightened his back as he spoke and put his hand on Paul’s thigh, reassuring him that they were in this together.

“That must have been difficult for the both of you. Don’t you think it’s more difficult now, though? What with all of the homophobic comments being thrown at the both of you.. or do you think going through something like that is a right of passage for the homosexual community?” Neither John nor Paul could believe the words coming out of Jeffry’s mouth. “Are you trying to say we have to go though horrible homophobic bullying to be considered gay?” Paul actually spoke up for once. “No, I’m just wondering if that’s something you need to experience as a gay man.” Jeffry shrugged. “No. Nobody needs to deal with it. Nobody.” John said, as Paul grabbed his hand. The two boys watched Jeffry’s eyes wander from side to side, uncomfortable due to the fact that the two were holding hands now. Jeffry nodded. “So, out of the two of you, who would you consider the woman of your relationship? Just based on meeting you, I would say it’s Paul. He’s quite feminine.”

John’s face went red.

“Excuse me?” He stood up, causing Jeffry to lean back into his chair. “I just mean, well you know, one of you must be and he seems like the woman!” Jeffry looked scared now. Paul touched John’s arm. “Don’t worry about it love, I’m fine.” He tried to calm him down, but John was done with this. “We are GAY. That means we are TWO MEN in a relationship. Why in the bloody hell would we be in a gay relationship just to pretend to be a soddin’ straight couple?!” John was flailing his arms about. “I.. I’m sorry, I didn’t think of it like that. It just doesn’t make sense to me.” Jeffry looked away from the two Beatles now. “You’re right, it doesn’t make sense to you because you’re an uneducated homophobe who decided to interview two gay men. This interview is over.” John grabbed Paul’s hand and dragged him out of the studio and back to their car. Although John was mad, he made sure to open the passenger door to the car for Paul as he always had. Once Paul was in the car, John made his way around to the driver’s side and slumped down in his seat. “Absolute rubbish.” John grumbled. “Hey,” Paul said softly, calling for John to look at him.

“What?” He was still upset. “It’s fine, love. Thank you. I love you.” He smiled at John softly, the same smile that could pull John out of any rut. “I love you too,” John finally smiled too. The two lads were in this together, just like they had promised each other from the start. They knew they were much better off now, not hiding themselves and their relationship, but they knew that unfortunately there were still arseholes like Jeffry in the world that they would have to deal with. But they knew they would never have to deal with it alone, which made them extremely lucky. They knew the LGBTQ+ community had everybody’s back, just as Paul and John had theirs, and there was enough love in the world to make everything okay.

#anon #answered #mclennon fanfiction #mclennon oneshots

40 notes · View notes