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27emailsicantsend · 5 years ago

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3x14 and 3x15 Andi Mack scene by scene recap + my unnecessary opinions lol

Forewarning: as from the title these ARE spoilers to the episodes if you haven’t seen it. I’m tagging spoilers out but there’s still a chance they could be seen. Also, I’m giving a scene by scene recap with my opinions of the show. I’ve been requested to do the recap but I also want to talk about what I thought from these episodes in more detail than my post yesterday. So for the most part it’ll be factual but I’m really invested in these two episodes so I’ll definitely be adding my own twang. It’s virtually impossible for me not to recap my own hype for the episodes lol. Hope you’re a Muffy and Tyrus stan bc I’ve got some cOnTeNt for you ❤️

Ok here. we. go.

3x14

Scene starts in the spoon. It’s Andi, Muffy, and Cyrus. Muffy and Cyrus talk about Andi’s parents not getting married while Amber overhears. She gets upset and asks why. Andi clarifies her parents aren’t married, but still together and Amber makes the comment, ��unlike my house. My parents are still married but barely together”. Which gets some awks looks from the table. Andi tells them she’s not sad, but angry. Then she says that B&B (Bex and Bowie) said she’s entitled to her feelings to which Cyrus claims as being manipulative?? (Still don’t see how, but he explains that they are playing dodgeball and b&b are on one side and Andi on the other. She has a ball of anger she wants to throw, but they’re ready for it. So if she throws it, they’ll catch it and then she basically can’t show her anger- he’s obviously been listening to his counseling parents hahaha). Andi asks where she can throw her anger ball (lol) so Amber takes her to a sledge hammer place (Rage Cage) where everyone is in individual cages that have old items that you just beat up with a sledge hammer.

*opening song*

Andi is laying on her bed and gets a really excited phone call from CeCe about the wedding to which Andi feels guilty. She tries to tell Bex to tell CeCe it’s cancelled but Bex refuses bc the next day is CeCe’s bday. This scene had some really good acting BTW (I’ll probably tell you when this happens too bc honestly props to the actors. And the cinematography and music in these two episodes is beautiful. Literally made me feel like I was watching a movie).

Buffy runs up to Marty at a bench and he gets a big dimple smile bc why wouldn’t he be excited to see her?? Lol Buffy starts mocking Marty’s shoes because they have toe inserts and that’s when he tells her they are for a marathon. Buffy gets confused (and lowkey upset) she didn’t know about the marathon and Marty is all, “we have a lot of catching up to do” and I’m all (you have a lot of dating to do because my soul has been empty this past season without you. #RIPME 😭 ⚰️). So Buffy gets all flirty competitive and says she wants to race as well. Marty tries to talk her out of it bc he’s worried about an injury, dehydration, etc. but this is Buffy we’re talking about and she insists she can do it and then runs away lol, but Marty can’t help the love he feels for her and smiles sheepishly as he goes to run away with her (very metaphoric. I love)

Jonah and Cyrus are walking and Cyrus invites Jonah to see a meteor shower in his backyard for a campout (good Jyrus moment if you ship that) Jonah makes a lame joke about not having a s’more in awhile and so he has “s’less”- Cyrus tells him not to hurt himself making that joke 😂😂

B&B and Andi are at a restaurant waiting for CeCe & Ham. CeCe shows up and tells everyone Ham went back to India.

Cyrus and Jonah go into a beautifully set up tent where Cyrus obviously had to out-do himself and make everything in the tent extra. I love a gay interior design queen.

Back at the restaurant, CeCe says Ham went to India for rest. CeCe makes some really weird remark about seeing him again (yikes) and the rest make comments about him doing what he needs to do and that they have to accept it and not take each other for granted. Very subtextual of the real situation, but also a great way to write off his character and play into Bex worrying about cancelling the wedding. She showed fear like she wouldn’t want to say anything to CeCe bc he’s gone, but since CeCe was ok with him leaving, Bex calmed down too. Just really well done. CeCe tried to show Bex venue photo’s and Bex tried to stop her but then Bex just says she had a problem mailing the wedding invites *cliff hanger*

Cyrus and Jonah back at the tent. Jonah is panicking about dying in Cyrus’ backyard and Cyrus brings meat into the tent but makes it all flirty and weird- I don’t ship Jyrus but the whole thing lowkey felt like they were trying to impress Jyrus shippers with date vibes haha (also the meat is BAD if you’re camping bc animals can get to you). Then an animal hits their tent at (obviously) the right time

CeCe now knows the wedding is off and is PiSsEd™️. The waiters are all completely unaware and don’t know how to read the room so they bring a sparkler cake. CeCe flips the sparkler upside down, shoves it in the cake, and exits as dramatically as possible. Leaving the mustached waiter with an awkward face like:

Then there was this weird commercial on my app promoting season 2 like bish you already know I watched that season at least twice don’t play me like that

Back to the pointless tent scene (for real- this scene was just filler. You rip off Tyrus FOR THIS? Actual homophobia). Jonah mispronounces some weird thing (and Cyrus says don’t hurt yourself again) and then breaks the tent. Cyrus makes a failed attempt at opening the tent with a cheese knife but Shazam! saves the day by telling Cyrus not to hurt himself and opening the tent with the same cheese knife (honestly, weird flex but ok). They escape and are saved and watch a poorly CGI’d meteor shower like two old men on their front porch. and yippee five minutes of wasted screen time are over. I don’t care if you ship Jyrus. It was a waste of time when we could have been focusing on the TeA of the show. *rant over- no worries. Many more to come*

Back to important matters, Muffy is now running their race. Marty doesn’t want to race. He just wants to finish in under 4 hours and Buffy wants to finish under his time. Buffy agrees with Mr. Party at first, but then hears the word “race” and bolts away like Lightning McQueen.

Bex and Andi back at the house. Bex says it went bad with CeCe bc she won’t even act like Bex exists. Andi realizes her anger and knows where to take her (you guessed it. RAGe CAGe- Andi said it wasn’t for Bex lol so she wouldn’t tell Bex where she was going with CeCe 😂 the shade)

Marty is jogging along like a middle aged white woman and sees Buffy wheezing. He gets all husband like and concerned as he catches her in his arms. (Which reminds me of a pic I saw on Tumblr where they drew her in his arms but laced it with the “Miss Keisha” vine and I was here for it). Then Marty and Buffy put their arms around each other and he escorts her to a bench. (Just saying, everyone knows Tyrus is going to involve a bench scene but as us loyal fans know, Muffy shadows Tyrus and they have also encountered two (2) benches thus far. Coincidence? Maybe. Will I believe it was a coincidence? Absolutely not). Then he puts her on the bench and acts all cute and paramedic and concerned. He’s been taking doc notes at General Hospital obviously. (He even mentions taking her to a doctor). Buffy is all like, “Run your race Marty. 4 1/2 hours. [I’m the supportive girlfriend you hoe].” And he doesn’t want to leave her and she accuses him of being a martyr? Then she snaps at him (like tf) to go away and he gets all angsty™️ and runs off and my heart broke bc I was not ready for a Muffy battle.

Andi and CeCe at the Rage Cage... rage. In a cage.

Marty comes running back to Buffy with a dimple smile again bc he knows she was trying to “White Fang” him from a movie they saw together (❤️). To “White Fang” is for the boy in the movie to send the wolf away, wolf doesn’t want to leave, so the boy throws rocks at him to make him go. Buffy is caught (but she ain’t mad) and I need to quote this part word for word bc it’s TOO CUTE 🥰🥰🥰

B: You’re the one who said we should run our own race

M: That’s what I’m doing

B: Wanna sit here with me?

M: No. I wanna cross the finish line with you 😭😭😭

And that, my friends, was the day my heart ripped in half from joy

Then he picks her up and they put their arms around each other (I seriously can’t. They made me cry last night and lowkey I thought it was bc I was tired but I’m fully energized and watery eyed... sooo....) then Marty makes a joke about them running and Buffy goes, “you’re hilarious” and his voice gets all soft and he looks at her all gentle and goes, “you finally figured that out” AND PLEASE TERRI STOP IT HURTS. But no, the scene CONTINUES BECAUSE MY HEART APPARENTLY COULD TAKE THAT (lies). And the scene changes and now Marty is PIGBACKING HER ACROSS THE FINISH LINE THREE HOURS LATER. LIKE STOP. STOP. I CAN’T HANDLE THESE TENDER MOMENTS. (Seriously they were together an extra three hours with him helping her. I’m WeAk). And they both get medals and Buffy compliments him so he gets all happy and tells her to keep going, but she runs out of compliments so he goes, “ok, I just wanted to see how deep that well went” with his eyes darting all over her face and then the music shifts to almost like progressive-romantic music as BUFFY PUTS HER ARM BACK AROUND HIM AND THEY WALK AWAY (the music was placed so we knew they were having a moment) and that was the exact moment I died. MY PARENTS. (Watched this scene 3 times and will 100% watch it at least 1000 more).

Then Andi sees Amber raging. In a cage. She’s like “excuse me? What are you doing here” and Amber is all mad at Jonah and Andi’s all break up with your boyfriend yeah yeah cuz I’m bored. And Amber wasn’t here for it because apparently she thinks she’s in love with Jonah now? (with tears in her eyes... I mean, love to me isn’t that angry and hating everything he does [he only sent her six emoji’s apparently and just isn’t there for her] that it drives you to physical violence but ok)-(but good acting along with the last Muffy scene but I’m sure ya’ll picked up on that from my synopsis lol)

3x15

FYI this synopsis won’t be AS long, but that’s because Muffy is absent and I have an unexpresible love for them and this episode also sent me over the EDGE with Tyrus 🙄😤🙃 but I’ll do what I can with Tyrus bc it’s still gay and angsty and I was here for that part of it (also I love the Terri devoted two separate episodes to Tyrus and Muffy. Like she really knows this Friendom and what will keep us watching lol)

Unnecessary opening scene with B&B and Andi going to the movie instead of spending time on their phones (it was cute but unnecessary. I liked in the last episode that the rage cage in the beginning scene actually tied into the episode)

*opening credits*

Buffy and Cyrus watching Kira and TJ like hawks from the bench far away and Buffy is confused af about it. She asks Cyrus and he gets all angsty (I WILL over use this word bc it’s too accurate for this episode, wait til you actually see it) and goes “I don’t know” *shoulder shrug* “I haven’t been hanging out with TJ lately”

Buffy: because of that?

Cyrus: they’ve been pretty much attached at the hip (then Kira has the AUDACITY to jump on TJ’s back) and the back. They look happy.

B: it won’t last. Kira’s not a nice person. Only took me a day to figure that out. Since he’s a GUY, it’ll take longer.

Cloud 10 with Bex and Andi discussing Bex and CeCe making up, but in front of CeCe. CeCe is still PiSsEd™️. Bex tries to talk to her and BEGS to make up with her mom but her mom is cold and I felt Bex’s pain. (Great acting in this scene too. I just wanted to hug Bex. Like did you really have to do her a dirty like that? With Tyrus and Bex, this episode is starting to feel like 3x13 again and I thought we all agreed to never speak of that episode ever again)

Cyrus is sitting all angsty and alone with some frozen yogurt in front of a greenhouse? Literally no idea where he is at but it’s such a mood lol and even funnier that TJ found him there. Like where are they?? Hahahaha but ANYWAY, TJ sits down and confronts Cyrus about avoiding him. Cyrus says he isn’t but TJ is like “kinda feels like it”. Cyrus tries to say that TJ has been occupied with Kira taking up his time and TJ denies that hard. And here’s the TEA sis:

Cyrus: you two are clearly hitting it off. Which is great. I’m happy for you guys.

TJ: you make it sound like we’re a couple. We’re not. We mostly just talk about basketball.

C: and then you give her a piggy back ride?

T: she bet me I couldn’t carry her. That was all

Then TJ tried to tell Cyrus to hangout with them more and Cyrus rejects that bc Kira knows Cyrus is Buffy’s best friend. Then Kira comes in to hoe around the scene and sits at the table. Says “heyyyy” all flirty to TJ 😒 and “hi Cyrus” direct and cold to Cyrus. Then becomes the most fake hoeeeee when pretending to agree with TJ that they should hang out more with Cyrus. Cyrus YEETS outta there and Mr. heart eyes looks like he created depression (it was that prevalent). Kira gets all needy and is like, “hellooo? I’m over here” and TJ just looks at her with the fakest angsty smile. Like why.

At the spoon, the GHC AND Jonah are sitting and Andi tells of this store called Mint Chip where they burn clothes rather than donate them bc it would make the brand look bad and lose sales if it’s with charity. Like??? Ok you actually look better with charity sooooo take two steps back B. Buffy gets the taste of wanting to be a bad guy (cue bad guy by Billie Eilish) and they all go dumpster diving and get the clothes from Mint Chip’s dumpster. Not much happens other than them stealing clothes and Buffy says her ankle hurts so she can’t get in the dumpster. IDK if that’s from the dehydration last episode (bc when she’s walking with Marty 😍 she’s limping) or if she fell wrong at the dumpster. It’s foreshadowing bc I know she has a hurt foot in a later episode so not sure where it will come in or why.

The kids have an outdoor “sidewalk sale” where they give away the free clothes from mint chip and some lady comes and gets a coat. She shows up later in the episode to tell Bex and CeCe about the sale but they do nothing. It was really weirdly staged like this character had more importance in the episode and got cut or she has importance later on. IDK? She just got a ton of screen time for it to go nowhere so we’ll see. And Cyrus is a Queen and styled some guy for an interview and Buffy is a Queen and styled a lady for a first online date. Then Jonah is just himself and doesn’t know what a pencil skirt is. *cue clothing sale montage with Jonah being a player and talking to lots of girls and the GHC+Jonah looking all sweet looking at pics from the day*

B&B get a wedding gift from Celia. It’s a snow globe from the night Bowie proposed, but since it’s mailed, was sent before CeCe knew about the cancellation. Bex tries to write her a thank you card but can’t and cries through it (great acting here too- Bex just takes the cake on acting TBH)

At the sale, Cyrus shows Buffy a shirt he wants to give to TJ (which isn’t a hoodie, surprisingly). He takes a pic & sends it to him to ask if he likes it and Buffy says “it’ll look good with his eyes” and Cyrus is all “it WILL 😍”

Buffy: he’s gonna like it. Why don’t you just give it to him?

C: I thought about that. I’m not sure how much he’s want that.

B: a free shirt??

C: ME. Giving him a free shirt.

B: there’s a great way to find out

C: what is it?

B: *forcing the shirt back to Cyrus* give him the shirt. Maybe it’ll mean something to him. Maybe it won’t. Either way, it’s a nice thing to do [seriously though I stan a Tyrus Ally]

C: it’s TJ. Thumbs up on the shirt *replying to Teej lol* you should come by the sale. It’s amazing. *back to the Vampire Slayer* was that too braggy?

B: not braggy enough

C: TJ *reading the message* I’m at the park *back to Buffy* what do you think that means?

B: he wants you to meet him?

C: you think

B: why else would he tell you where he is?

C: should I bring the shirt? I’m gonna being the shirt. *walks away and comes back* the shirt feels weird

B: then don’t take it

C: *walks away and comes back*

B: *whilst saying nothing hands Cyrus the shirt with a loving, yet so over Cyrus’ gay angst expression*

C: he’s gonna be expecting it... so I’m just gonna- yeah *yeets out of there in gay*

Kira and TJ at the park. Kira asks who TJ is texting and he says no one 😤 so TJ suggests feeding the ducks and Kira decides to hoe around yet again and suggests swinging first. She’s all flirty and TJ is ~not straight and not here for it~. He’s all like “I’m not five” like he doesn’t go swinging and Kira gets all competitive over who can swing higher and makes comments reflecting his and Cyrus’ convo which gets him to get on the swing (reluctantly) and also she is on Cyrus’ swing?? So umm? Get tf off???? And that’s when Cyrus pops around a tree, shirt in hand, to see THAT DISGUSTING MOCKERY OF A FRIENDSHIP I HATE IT SO MUCH??? EWWWW. And he’s all sad and angsty and jealous so he walks away **AND AS HE’S WALKING AWAY DOES A LOOK BACK SOOOOOOOOOO HE IS FOR SURE IN LOVE FREAKING HECK I CAN’T** and I just want to hug my boi and I can’t hug him and ugh 😭😭😭 my sad tears are here.

So Cyrus sees Buffy and tells her TJ was with Kira so that makes Buffy all annoyed (she’s a real one). Cyrus becomes a liar and says they’re “good together” again. Buffy tries to reassure him it won’t last, but Cyrus isn’t sure and now has this shirt he doesn’t know what to do with. He gives it to Jonah and says he has nice eyes too??? Like umm? Rebound much, Cyrus?? Like Boo. Don’t do that. I’m here for YOU. Jonah then tells some woman about how they pulled off the clothing shop and a police officer shows up. They don’t have a license to sell and never bought the clothing so they can’t give it for free. Next thing you know Bex is getting a call (after trying to make things right with CeCe AGAIN and more A+ acting.. seriously though freaking FORGIVE HER ALREADY SHE IS DOING EVERYTHING SHE CAN) and runs with CeCe to go help bail the GHC+Jonah out of jail (this was also after the woman in the coat makes a 2 second appearance at cloud 10 to talk about the sale and NOTHING HAPPENS WITH HER SO WHY). The scene ends with the cell door closing so I hope next episode maybe this scare freaks CeCe enough into making up with Bex. But IDK.

I’ve got many mixed feelings about these episodes. Hope you enjoyed my highly detailed and opinionated synopsis of the show 😂😂 can’t wait for next week!! ❤️

#andi mack #am spoilers #andi mack spoilers #tyrus #muffy #epidode recap #buffy driscoll #marty from the party #tj kippen #cyrus goodman #sophia wylie #luke mullen #garren lake #joshua rush #bexie #cece mack #bex mack

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feschenanigans · 6 years ago

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This maybe a little confusing, so im sorry in advance! Say the summoner was robin in one world, and they're husband/wife from Awakening remembers them, who would be excited to see their s/o again, and who would stay quiet bc of the possibility of them not remembering?

✩⋆✧I think I get what you’re asking, friend! Sorry if not, eheh… Hmm, I’ll just go over some of the characters that would stick out the most in that situation. ✩⋆✧

Chrom:

Chrom would definitely be the most ecstatic to see his significant other again.

He figured that he’d never see them again, especially after joining the Order of Heroes.

Once Chrom recognizes the summoner, he’d be overwhelmed with feelings of shock, joy, and relief.

Chrom wouldn’t doubt it at all. He knows who he married, and he knows they’re standing right in front of him. There would be no hesitation from this man.

The summoner would be greeted by a sudden, tight hug that lifted them from the ground.

The summoner, with wide eyes, would be struck with surprise as they frantically try to see who’s constricting them; only to find a smiling Chrom who’s happily burying his face into the summoner’s robe.

While his gesture was out of love and compassion, the summoner can feel their breath slipping away as Chrom continues to hold them.

The embrace lasts a good 2-3 minutes before the summoner exclaims that they can’t breathe anymore. Chrom would quickly let go and frantically apologize to the summoner as he blushes with embarrassment.

Soon after, he would hold their shoulders and look them longingly in the eyes before asking, “Is it really you?”

Though the question may seem vague, the summoner knows exactly what he’s talking about. They nod slowly, and almost instantly, Chrom pulls them into another hug, but this one is gentle, thankfully.

As he hugs them once more, he goes on and on about how much he’s missed them. He begins to get emotional as he describes how he never thought he’d see them again, and how he thinks about the summoner every day.

All the summoner can do is smile and nod as he spills his emotions onto their shoulder.

Once he finishes, he pulls away and stares at his significant other once more, as if he still can’t believe they’re standing in front of him.

He holds their hand and claims that they have a lot of catching up to do.

For the next few days, the two are practically inseparable.

Long walks across meadows, delicious lunch together, deep conversations that last hours upon hours…

He’d be so grateful to have his partner at his side in battle, and in life, once again.

Lucina:

Lucina is quite familiar with the concept of time travel, so she wouldn’t exactly be shocked if that were the case.

Still… Her S/O is there, in the flesh, after so many years of not seeing them. After so many years of wondering what had happened to them. So many years of silence.

Needless to say, beneath that blank expression she has while staring at the familiar face of the summoner, waves of emotions are hitting her relentlessly from within.

First, overwhelming joy so strong that she could shed tears of happiness, then feelings of sadness and betrayal as those tears turn bitter, and finally, the silence she had been met with for so long.

For now, she chooses to say nothing to the summoner. It’s best for her to rationalize on her own despite the urge to pull them into a tight embrace and let her thoughts flow onto their shoulder.

After all, how could she expect them to remember her? It’s been so long… Perhaps they’ve moved on from their old life as the new tactician of Askr, and she can respect that.

Maybe one day she’ll gather the confidence and courage within herself to approach the summoner about it, but for now, she follows their lead and listens to orders.

Gaius:

It didn’t take Gaius very long to realize that the summoner was, in fact, his S/O back in Ylisse. At least, not after they locked eyes with each other. How could he forget their eyes? The way they sparkled whenever they were excited, the warmth and sweetness, and how they looked like giant, tasty gumballs, of course.

After this encounter, his mouth gaped so wide that his sucker fell out of the corner of his mouth.

He even had to make a double-take and rub his tired eyes as the summoner walked past him, and did not remove them from his sight as they continued on.

Sure, he had some doubts, but if this really was his S/O, he wouldn’t let them get away so easily.

So what would any skilled thief do but follow them silently until he could get a better look at their face.

He managed to follow the summoner without being detected all the way to their private quarters, where they looked promptly into the large mirror next to their wardrobe.

Finally, Gaius was able to get a perfect look at the summoner’s face, and at that moment, he knew that without a doubt, this was the S/O he’s been missing so dearly.

He was so caught up in the heart-warming reunion, that he didn’t realize that the summoner could also see him behind them through the mirror.

There were a few moments of awkward silence as they looked at each other from the mirror until Gaius shrugged and gave them a huge hug from behind.

He gladly nuzzled his face into the back of their neck and mumbled about how happy he was to see the summoner again and that he’s missed them.

The summoner quickly understood what was going on, and melted into the warm embrace. Turning around only to place a loving kiss on the tip of his nose. He wasn’t able to suppress a smile, or the bright red that lit his cheeks.

The two spent the rest of the day cuddling and happily enjoying the company of each other–something that seemed to have been lost some time ago.

Cordelia:

Cordelia believes heavily in the idea that she should let go of the past instead of allowing it to loom over her shoulder.

But could she say the same thing about her S/O?

They seemed to have found their place here in Askr–without her.

Would it be wrong of her to insert herself into their life again? Would she hold them down?

Cordelia discovered the connection between the summoner and being her S/O not long after she was summoned to Askr, and since then, she’s been met with an internal conflict; to tell them or not to tell them?

The summoner hasn’t seemed to notice her, so clearly they must not remember her, right?

Her mind had been buzzing with so many questions and so many moments of self-doubt. This had happened too fast and too suddenly, in her opinion.

These thoughts would tend to stir in her head at night, and would only worsen at the pain of seeing the summoner.

Luckily for her, the summoner had taken note of the dark circles that had begun to form under her eyes and the sudden lethargicness she began to exhibit and approached her personally.

“What’s going on, Cordelia?” The summoner had asked softly in a voice that she knew all too well.

It was the same voice that cooed sweet compliments in her ears, wished her good morning and good night every day, and calmed her when she began to panic over her fears of failure.

The question itself had caused tears to well in her eyes as she searched the summoner’s face to familiarize herself with them once again. No matter how hard she tried to hold them back, one managed to roll its way down her cheek.

The summoner stepped closer and began offering her some comfort, which she declined out of modesty, but they were persistent.

Eventually, Cordelia was able to voice what was going on.

The summoner was grateful that she had finally said something and expressed that they shared almost the same fears as her.

The summoner finished, reminding her that they loved her very much and would never forget about her–ever.

Let’s just say, another weight upon her shoulders was lifted again.

#Anonymous #fire emblem awakening #fire emblem #fire emblem heroes #feh #lucina #chrom #gaius #cordelia #summoner #imagines #scenarios

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lilyissms · 6 years ago

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1) to all the new members, it’s a’ me! a’ may’rio! i’ve been stanned a lot. i’m a #goodmin. 2) to members new and old, i’m gonna pull a mona and make an intro 2.0 bc i feel like,, a lot of things were left super vague in my og intro and also a few things have changed per my decision since then so ?? INTRO PART TWO, LEGGO !!

「 MARGOT ROBBIE, FEMALE, THIRTY, BRITNEY SPEARS. 」┈ did you read that latest viral gossip issue on LILY CAINE? she is one of my favorite POP artists. they’ve been releasing music for SIXTEEN YEARS now, but viral gossip has only been talking about them for the last HOWEVER LONG IT’S BEEN AROUND PROBABLY. get this, i think i heard SHE’S BEEN UNDER A CONSERVATORSHIP FOR NEARLY A DECADE. they’re known as the PHOENIX of the music industry, since they have a rep for being RESOLUTE but INHIBITED, but who knows. maybe that will change once they become #1. ( MAY, 18, EST, SHE/HER. )

TRIGGERS: arguable emotional abuse, m a n i p u l a t i o n , death, suicide, unspecified mental illness.

1988 - 2002

lily was born in wisner, la with a population of 926 as of the last census. very small town.

the expy has already jumped out.

she had a super nuclear family. mom and dad, older brother, younger sister.

no middle child syndrome, i just... wanted to put her in the middle.

it wasn’t a harsh upbringing, per se, but it was a questionable one. they weren’t super well-off – her dad ‘ran’ a restaurant with little to no traction that was shut down in 1994, her mom was a job-skipper who was a waitress one day and a nanny the next. her brother started working at a gas station as soon as he was old enough. tried so hard, didn’t get too far.

did they really try that hard tho? i mean homeboy dad knew his restaurant was shit, homegirl mom knew she needed to actually work to hold down a job. only person who actually worked in the family was her brother tbh.

homeboy dad also had a problem with those alcoholic beverages and homegirl mom didn’t do much to help.

so not a TERRIBLE, UNBEARABLE, TAKE THEM AWAY FROM THE HOUSE living situation, but a MAYBE GO MAKE SURE THESE KIDS ARE ALIVE situation

and that’s why lily and her younger sister were both used as meal tickets by her parents. they focused on them way more than they did their jobs, but not in that nice and pampering way?? more in the dance mom -esque way. like, they were CONVINCED one of the two was gonna rise to fame™ and all of their problems would be fixed. they put them in classes and competitions and basically used all of the money they should’ve been using for food and bills to see if one of these two kids could make them millionaires.

sorry brother.

delusional? YES. but did it work? EVENTUALLY.

during one of said competitions, lily was kind of scouted out. she was 15 when she was signed to jive (wow, the expy is just thumpin!) and put out her first single, the anthem we all know, ‘...baby one more time’

2002 - 2010

so homegirl was OBVIOUSLY not used to a city life in la with this HUGE population after growing up... with like 1,000 people in her town (rough rounding of the 2000 census). was she in awe? definitely! was it also super weird and lowkey stressful? totally!

of course, she still visited home – went back to la from la (asdfghjkl) about every two months and spent around two weeks there – but she had stuff to do! people to see!

the label was like “hey ok so we’re gonna train u out of ur normal register and into what we think will make u a hit!!!!!!” and she was like “ok!!!! :D”

released the album ‘...baby one more time’ when she was 15. released ‘oops!... i did it again’ when she was 16. released ‘lily’ when she was 17. released ‘in the zone’ when she was 19.

-banjo noise- THIS IS FOR ALL THEM SOUTHERN BOYS OUT THERE

am i going to steal various accomplishments from her vc? obviously. i’ve already shown that she’s 110% an expy so WHY WOULDN’T I?

collaborated with madonna on ‘me against the music’. did she fuckin star in ‘crossroads’, as written by shona rhimes, when she was 18? obviously. 110% did the snake vma thing when she was 18. 110% did the madonna vma thing when she was 19. got a star on the walk of fame when she was 19. performed live with michael jackson when she was 20. won a grammy for ‘toxic’ when she was 20. ‘blackout’ would later be inducted into the rock ‘n’ roll hall of fame, but we’re not there yet. that’s just one of my favs.

she was totally america’s sweetheart. nice southern girl from a small town. nice manners. fun interviews. cute!!

but that ain’t how hollywood works, is it? catch whiff of a scandal and, yes!, tabloids!

the biggest one before her image completely shattered was when she got married to an old friend in vegas, also at the age of 20. 20 was an interesting age for her.

god, i’m original.

believe it or not, it wasn’t drunken! they were just caught up in everything, then they were like “oh!! that was probably a bad idea!!” a few days later!! especially when her team was like “bitch what the fuck.”

two weeks later, the marriage was annulled. the tabloids were still super excited, and her team was still like “bitch what the fuck.”, so that being said:

people were shutting her doWN.

“bad ifnFLUneCE!!!” “sECX!!??”!” “eXPOasURE!!!” - every parent.

and that was the catalyst!!

so, as we all know by now, i’m really original? like, lily is 110% original with no outside influences whatsoever?

that being said, during a leg of her tour, she met this one guy who worked as a celebrity personal trainer and was immediately enamored with him. very smooth-talking, super good-looking, seemed intelligent, super good-looking, was pretty normal, super good-looking

so she immediately took to him. after only dating people who were essentially the exact opposite of him – very clean, very ‘generous’, etc. – she wanted a change. he provided the change she thought she needed.

so lowkey everyone else totally saw through him. he was very much a druggie, very much a.... womanizer, very much just a douchebag in general? he was very much unfit to actually be in a committed relationship, but lily was totally blinded by how normal and, therefore, different he was.

no matter how long she’d known the person, and no matter how close they were, the second someone was like ‘lily. he sucks.’ she was like ‘we aren’t friends anymore bye.’

what she wanted most out of him was to be domestic, and he was like “ya sure ok.” so only five months after they started dating, they got married.

some of the people she’d shut out had found a perfect opportunity to make her into their own personal cash cow. her mom sold what was meant to be personal information, just between her and her family. her first boyfriend (back before she was #famous) sold a lot of the stuff she left behind or sent him on ebay (i could probably pretend i was being original here, but i’ve gotta embrace the expy, so here’s reg’s expy!!), etc., etc., etc.

i’m telling y’all, it just wasn’t her year!! i mean, she’s actually 21 by now i think, but it still just wasn’t her year!! her dad decided “you know what i’m gonna do... have a heart attack and die.” of course, they were never super close, so it wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been, but like... WOW. must’ve ignored one of those ‘send this to 10 other people in the next 30 minutes or bad luck for the next two years!’ chain e-mails.

so she compensated for that by having a child, as one does. the same year, ‘blackout’ was put out (because i, of course, am original) and, although it’d later be very much acclaimed, they completely slept on promoting it. of the albums that’d been put out thus far, it’d been her least purchased, despite being arguably the best quality (listen, i’m not talking opinion, i’m talking FACTS. in the zone, blackout, and glory are the most acclaimed in production and content. FACTS.)?? and definitely being the one she was the most involved in.

essentially the only form of promotion they rly did was dropping an album of outtakes, then taking it down the very next day.

we stan all the songs on it. especially the last two.

but!! it was all g!! they named the kid after her dad!! and it was all good!!

up until it was brought to her attention that her husband (whose name was originally jett, but i feel like that needs to be changed now that there’s a jett in the roleplay?? input would be great. gotta be a name that a kid would think sounds cool, but would sound really strange on a grown man.) had had multiple hookups during their months of dating and their marriage. also lowkey admitted he, too, was using lily as a cashcow.

so the bitch was completely torn. he was the first ‘normal’ person who’d entered her life, and essentially the only person left, but everyone else... had been right?

cue ‘why should i be sad’ being added to the album!

ultimately, she filed for divorce.

after inspection, the initial custody ruling was that it’d be joint. there would be one week with brock (the new name has been decided), one week with lily. but, brock wasn’t the one always in the limelight. after the legalities had been, for the most part, settled, he was pretty much a normal guy again. very rare to see him in tabloids. his name was everywhere when lily was in an article, though! because everything was his fault, of course!

due to numerous articles that were very suspicious, reports of erratic behavior around paparazzi and reporters, etc., etc., plus just the general rules of it all, lily got some more visitation from the services who were really keeping a keen eye on her.

there came times that coincidences made it look like the ‘house’ (see: mansion) was an unsafe place for a child. too often, the nanny wasn’t around and it was her word against her new manager’s.

although she was, in no way, romantically or sexually involved with her new manager, he was under the assumption that everything would be far easier if the kid wasn’t around. plenty of sabotage, y’know? (can we guess who he’s an expy of?) the fact that she was involved with a tmz reporter (expy of who?) didn’t help, either.

eventually, they were like “aight binch we’ve had enough” and decided it was in everyone’s best interest that the kid go live with brock, full time.

ok, so now she had: her new manager whom she and the nanny were wary of, that tmz reporter who, if she was being realistic, would probably milk her for all she was worth if they broke up, and the nanny... but not even really her, what considering she didn’t need her anymore.

so, one day, she was like, “bye bye, birdie!”

birdie being her.

but birdie didn’t go bye bye, what a relief. the one good thing her new manager ever did – redemption.

but, i’m original, she was placed under a 5150 hold.

after one other incident, this time not exactly ‘bye bye, birdie-ing’, but close enough, everyone was like “ok wtf bitch.”

i feel like it should be known that the fact that it wasn’t just about a Boy or even her kid was ignored. there were many forms of therapy involved, some controversial. like,, we ain’t playin around,, we ain’t blamin boys,, it ain’t 1940.

in may of 2011, she was placed under a conservatorship.

so, if you’ve stuck with me this far, you’ve probably totally forgotten about her siblings. you know what happened to her dad, you know what happened to her mom, but what about her siblings?

one of them, her sister, almost signed to a label... until she was like “o shit.”

her brother was still a normal guy who wound up being the conservator of both the person and the estate. a good ol’ boy.

they’re dumb. in september of 2010, ‘womanizer’ came out as a single; october, ‘circus’; november, ‘if u seek amy’; december, the full ‘circus’ album. great comeback album, but........ super quick back into the spotlight.

i feel like that makes it seem like i’m going to start describing more events that took place after. nothing super dramatic did. there were a lot of questions, though. there was one (1) documentary in which no question was off limits (huh, wonder what that’s an expy of?), but, after that, B L A C K L I S T.

also, i feel as though i should specify: it’s pretty hard to?? not know when a huge celebrity has been placed under a conservatorship?? like y’all we know amanda bynes was and she wasn’t even a b-lister anymore. so!! that being in the ‘rumor’ section is more because it: 1) covers all the controversial parts without being specific bc we don’t want... anyone perusing the main to be like “wow chill”, 2) would probs have been forgotten by many by now?? so it’d be like a “o ya i forgot she was under a conservatorship!!” type thing.

2011 - PRESENT

after all of the Events, it was both in her best interest and in her worst interest to stay out of the spotlight. best interest so everyone would see she’s normal again!; worst interest because... the media was one of the dominoes in the effect??

so, up until 2013, when the next album was released, things were pretty quiet. during promotion in 2013, there’d been arguably enough time to collect everything and go back out and act n o r m a l .

as i said, i wanted to include the fact that ‘blackout’ was inducted into the rock ‘n’ roll hall of fame for its effect on the mainstream (essentially made dark pop mainstream and acceptable). it’s what it DESERVES.

in 2012, after proving herself to not be Bad, she was granted visitation rights. i haven’t mentioned it much because it... wasn’t in my original intro so it... felt weird... but!! she 110% utilizes those.

i’m looking to move some things involving this, her ex-husband, etc., etc., etc. forward eventually, but i feel like i need to get some plots in here that’d help that move forward first, ja feel?? because if i just start writing self-paras out of nowhere about this topic then..... i feel like..... that would make no sense.

by the way, i want everyone to know that she never put out the equivalent of ‘britney jean’. we do not fuck with that album. she put out two songs from it, but we’re saying they were released as singles. WE DON’T FUCK WITH THAT ALBUM.

it has its cute bops but the production isn’t the best, anything where she’s with will.i.am never ends up the best, and... it’s not... all her.

i’m looking for this one tweet that says “britney when her team tells her she has to do more than one take for britney jean” then has the video where the woman says “well let’s just try this again, you bunch of bastards!”

everything else has been effectively released, though. still debating ooh la la. tbh it’s a bop but...............

anyway, is still under the conservatorship of her brother. DEFINITELY has a new manager who was... actually her old manager, same with her team – new team that was... actually her old team.

PERSONALITY

has grown a bit more like she Was by now. she’s still def like,, not 110% there anymore,, nor will she ever be?? still much more reserved and uncomfortable in public than she used to be??

not super bright. not super dull, either. for the most part, she’s very much about the surface. although she often understands the ‘deeper meaning’ of some things, she ain’t gonna act like it’s some profound thing when, really: “the concept for the music video ‘circus’ is basically about, y’know, a circus.”

she’s nice, she’s nice. most of my replies involve her being nice. girlfriend down to bite if she gotta, though, but will she do it first?? she ain’t about that.

asdfghjkl i still dk how common playback use is for her yet. if i’m gonna make her an expy and full-on admit it, she’s gotta have some involved, but......... idk how much........ it would. depend on the performance for sure.

do you beliiiieeeeveeeee in liiiiiifeeee afterrrr looovvvveeee???? she still dks for sure. some of her connections have to do with that (speaking of, i need to update them), and t hose connectio ns are, for the most part, reserved for characters 28+

tbh exceptions could be made for female/nb characters?? idk why but i could?? see that more than for males??

speaking of, she’s bisexual. she’s not super outspoken like “I’M BI!!!!!” about her sexuality, but like?? it’s there?? it exists. ain’t a secret.

tbh she’s been around for a while so i’m trying to think of other things i’ve noticed about her over time but i?? am drawing a blank. n e way, that’s what i got!!

“however long it’s been around probably” aka “we don’t know how long viral gossip’s been around so if it’s been around for fifteen whole years then that’s how long if it’s been around for seven then that’s how long” etc, etc, etc

listen y’all i joined the first day so we were super unclear ok.

tl;dr: almost a carbon copy.

i’m gonna treat this like a normal intro post so:

like this or hmu if u want 2 plot !!

i have a wc page here which’ll probs be updated with more ideas later tonight, but i’m up 2 brainstorm or wha te ver.

also, to old members: if we’ve already plotted: like this for moral support pls.

#viral:intro #take a shot every time i write 'that being said'#or 'expy'#the mona in me jumped out.#compare and contrast the details in this w/ the details in my og intro post it's. incredible.#also for talia's sake i changed jett's name rip.

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alley-cat-sunflower · 7 years ago

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unpopular opera opinion…???

literally nobody is going to care about this, but Il Trovatore always gets me fired up (I’ve spent the better part of 14 years contemplating this, ok), so here are all the reasons Count di Luna [the villain] should have gotten the girl, Leonora, instead of Manrico [the hero]:

Dmitri Hvorostovsky. seriously, look up his appearances as Count di Luna if you haven’t seen him already (or look at the link several points below) and then show me a comparably beautiful Manrico. you’ll probably have a tough time of it, if you can even find one at all.

…now that the shallower stuff is out of the way, I’ma get to my main point and say that Manrico x Leonora isn’t any more healthy than Count x Leonora. sure the count is kind of an obsessive stalker but Manrico demonstrates the exact same behaviors and it’s apparently ok because she “loves” him I guess

Manrico is so insecure that when Leonora accidentally mistakes di Luna for him in the dark, he instantly assumes she was cheating on him or something. like, instantly. I’d also like to point out that by the beginning of the opera, Manrico and Leonora have only met approximately once (maybe twice??), and are not an item yet. they’re just kinda mutually into each other, although the depth of their attraction is questionable. the Count is implied to have been courting Leonora for a lot longer, or at least having admired her instead of running into her one time at a tourney and dedicating a song or two to her

Manrico picks a fight with the Count offstage and loses so badly his mom goes looking for his corpse. when she finds him barely alive instead, she nurses him back to health. except when Ruiz shows up and tells Manrico that Leonora’s going to become a nun bc she thinks he’s dead, he promptly ignores Azucena’s warnings—ya know, how he just finished recovering from wounds that probably should have killed him???—and runs off to throw himself headlong into another dangerous situation. (and speaking of which, the Count plotting to snatch Leonora away from God was bad enough, but Manrico did have the exact same idea)

edit: I just realized that the entire time Manrico was recovering, which has to have been quite awhile if he’s in good enough shape to go running off like that, he never even thought about the impact his alleged death would have on Leonora, since it comes as such a Shock when Ruiz tells him she’s going to join a convent. like. did he never even bother checking in on her or letting her know in any way that he was still alive?? I guess he just expects her life to stop or something whenever he’s not a part of it??? what a colossal douchebonnet

the Count gets a better love song to Leonora than Manrico ever sings: “The light of her smile / makes the light of the stars seem pale […] May the light of her gaze drive off / the tempest raging in my heart”. (this link also contains the kickass fight song he gets afterward, in which he rallies his spirits to defy everyone and steal Leonora. my favorite line is “Not even a god, my lady, / can take you from me now!”)

…come to think of it, all Manrico’s ‘love songs’ are really self-centered: “Ah, yes, my love, in being yours, / in knowing that you are mine, / my soul will now be braver, / my arm stronger” and “Now I pay in blood / for the love I gave to you! / Never forget me!”

just like he ran out on his mother to reclaim Leonora, Manrico turns around and leaves Leonora at the altar to go save his mom despite Leonora’s warnings and falls right into the count’s trap and gets captured. tbh that’s one of the funniest scenes in the opera because there’s “Di quella pira” to rally the troops and then immediately after the aria ends… sad oboe music. there wasn’t even a struggle song or an onstage scuffle. this idiot has never actually won any of the battles he fights in this opera, with the minor exception of stealing Leonora from her nun friends

by contrast, di Luna has won pretty much all the battles he fights in this opera, and is also clever enough to figure out who Azucena is (with a little help from Ferrando and the poor woman’s dementia) and use her as bait to lure out Manrico

while Leonora is hanging around outside Manrico’s prison cell singing about how much she loves him and how there’s never been a love stronger than hers and how she’s 100% willing to trade her life for his, Manrico’s busy singing about how much he wants to fuCKING DIE (no joke, literally, “Ah, how slow is death, / how slow in coming, / for one who wants to die!”)

Leonora did swear [before God, in fact] that she’d marry the Count in exchange for freeing Manrico, so they were canon for the .5 seconds it took for her to secretly drink poison so she wouldn’t have to actually follow through. then while the Count sings about how happy he is and can’t believe his luck and wow all his dreams are coming true, Leonora sings about how happy she is to die now that her actual bf is safe

let me just break that down for you. the Count is happy for approximately one song in the entire damn opera, two if you count his love song since he’s reminiscing about Leonora, and then she goes and breaks his heart. and before you tell me he doesn’t care about her as much as he does about possessing her, name one (1) time in the entire opera Manrico doesn’t act like Leonora is His Girl™

speaking of which, Manrico is such a god damn self-absorbed mama’s boy that Leonora has given her life to free him from jail and shows up to deliver the news, but then he gets all insecure about how she gained that favor and jumps to mad conclusions.

no, really. when Leonora tells him to leave, with zero cuts in dialogue, he tells her, to her face: “I care nothing for my life. / Now, woman, look into my eyes! / How have you done this? / And at what price? / You won’t speak? Monstrous thought! / From my rival! I understand, I understand! / This wretch has sold her love…”

…and then he proceeds to shout her down while she is literally dying, rejecting her and her attempt at explanation when she is prostrate at his feet begging him to just shut the fuck up and listen, and only when she points out that he should be praying for her instead of cursing her, does it occur to him that maybe, JUST MAYBE, something might be wrong??? what the hell?? terrible husband material.

after finally seeing the error of his ways, Manrico still doesn’t fully catch on to what she wants for him, because he proceeds to stick around and wait for Leonora to die… so obviously the Count goes through with his execution and her sacrifice was for nothing, all because he was too much of a tool to believe she actually loved him the first time. how fragile does your confidence have to be for you to be THAT much of an asshole about fidelity??? holy shit

edit: also it’s worth noting that the Count stumbles upon the two of them after Leonora reveals she’s dying and would have every right to interrupt since he [justifiably] hates Manrico’s guts and Leonora is supposed to be his fiancée but instead he just lets the scene play out like a respectful onlooker

yeah, sooooo that’s why Manrico doesn’t deserve Leonora and the Count should’ve gotten a better chance. but hey at least he lived and they died?? even though that’s really more a curse than a blessing due to all the shit he’s been through. but tbh you gotta take the small victories in opera considering a lot of them end in death all around.

anyway thank u for your time, I just have a lot of Thoughts™

#things heating up in the verdi fandom #il trovatore #even if you don't read this #the length of this post is enough to show #how unnecessarily detailed i can be #in finding backup for opinions that don't matter

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strydcr · 7 years ago

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hellooo babes, i’m blair waldorf acacia (◠‿◠✿) nineteen, she/her, and the main admin here. lol sooo sorry you guys are all trapped in this rp with me. but wtver~ you guys will learn to adore my 3am messages comin’ up with plot that’ll hurt us and what not. also meet the beauty that is stryder estrellas. anyways, i’ll try to keep this as short as possible. since i always get lazy halfway thru writin’ intros. :~)) )) ) &&. of course this got way longer than expected so just find the ☪ at the end to read the summary // aim: alohacacia && skype: alohacacia

****psa you clicked on this so you’re obligated to plot with me srry but i don’t make the rules.

░ * . ╰ ✯ › ⊰ SELENA GOMEZ, CIS-FEMALE, TWENTY-THREE ⊱ is that STRYDER ESTRELLAS ? the BARISTA & FLORAL SHOP ASSISTANT MANAGER. they’re known to be INTELLIGENT & INDEPENDENT. but also BLUNT & CYNICAL. unknown to them, they are the reincarnation of PERSEPHONE.

BACKGROUND + TRIGGER WARNINGS: cheating

well to kick things off, stryder is that one night stand baby. let’s call her biological dad “bio father/dad” and her mom’s husband “dad” then of course her mom is “mom”. sorry if this is confusing. but just think about how stryder is gonna feel once she finds out about this.

once upon a time her mom and her dad were happily in love. like they were the high school sweethearts who ended up getting married and blah blah blah. but before she was born, there was a point in time where the two broke up. probably once they were both about to start freshman year of college. that’s when her mom hooked up with stryder’s bio dad. she obviously ended up getting pregnant. but she ended up making up with stryder’s dad. SOOOOOOO…. he thinks he’s stryder’s father. but he ain’t. the one night stand hook up is.

stryder is completely unaware of the fact that he’s not her real father. her mom is still in contact with her biological dad. obviously, keeping that a secret from both her husband and stryder. but it’s only because her bio dad always sends her money to help provide for stryder. so basically this family is a mess. but only on the low. because on the outside this family is absolutely perfect. she grew up in a really nice household. suburban type of wealth in a town outside of los angeles, california. big house, nice cars, a vacation every now and then. but not rich enough to like be bill gates or something you get what i’m saying? just a nice upper middle class.

you might be wondering... how did they end up in seattle? one day her dad told the fam he had to move out to there because of work. (occupation: tbd) so they packed up everything they had and left. this was around the time stryder was starting her senior year of high school. stryder really isn’t the type to throw a fit over dumb shit. but you know this girl started bawling knowing she wasn’t going to graduate with her only two friends. ‘cause she had to start the loner life all over again.

now, stryder works at a small coffee shop as a barista and an assistant manager at a floral shop. (cause persephone, flowers, how cute.....) she does go to school at a community college about 30 minutes away from her house. probably studying to become a botanists. (a literal flowerchild yes.) and to her surprise she is actually enjoying living here. she doesn’t know why, but she feels drawn to the place.

PERSONALITY + RELATIONSHIPS + TRIGGER WARNINGS: anxiety

PERSONALITY wise, she’s that tumblr post that’s like ——— me: i love myself i’m such a bitch // me: i hate myself i’m such a bitch. because one day she’ll be like “oh my god you’re my best friend!!!!!” then they’ll do her shady and she’ll be like “new phone who dis?” like do her dirty and she’ll get angry real quick. which is bad because it’ll trigger her anxiety. but yayayayayayayayyyyy. she’s the type to be sippin’ tea with her pinky finger up. she is the “is it bad that i secretly want to be hit by a car all the time” but also the “gotta better myself, my body, my skin and my bank account” type in one. she has a very clean exterior. although she outcast herself a lot. she does care about her appearance. (i.e. she has a sense of fashion.) she really likes to read and learn. so, you can always catch her doing something of the sort. talk to her about flowers or coffee and she gotchu. overall, stryder is pretty wishy washy. it all depends on her mood. she’s kind of a wallflower. isn’t exactly the most popular baby. but that’s by choice, not by force.

when it comes to FRIENDS stryder can always use some of 'em. she possess the qualities of a good friend loyal, honest, trustworthy. however, she can be quite obstinate. which might be a reason why she might not have as many friends as she would like. once her mind is set to think a certain way it’s hard to persuade her to believe otherwise. she’s the type of friend to listen to your problems, but be prepared to listen to her opinions – all of them. she’s also the type to put a friend in check when they need it. she thinks of it as trying to convince them to see the bigger picture. first impressions is something she might not be very good at. while she isn’t exactly the definition of rude, she tends to not filter then things she says. overall, i would say that she might just need a handful of friends and just a whole bunch of acquaintances.

i’m pretty sure stryder doesn’t think she has is ENEMIES. but, i could obviously understand why a girl like her would have any. she tends to be very outspoken and although she doesn’t mean to insult anyone or come off rude, she can’t help it. so, there’s always that. stryder is the type to hold grudges. (this is mostly because of her mother — trust issues man) she thinks once you fuck her over, then inevitably, you’re gonna do it again. basically, if you lose her trust everything you had, despite how far back your past goes, she isn’t going to trust you fully again. so if there was any type of fall out at all, stryder is gonna be pissed 5ever. but if in some point in time where she had to chose between her life and saving another’s, she’d save them before herself. stryder’s a good person guy’s. she has good morals. they’re just messed up in her black hole of thoughts. enemies? *grabby hands*

alright, so stryder and LOVERS. i have a feeling she’s dabbled in the dating world. she’s had a few boyfriends, dates, etc. but most likely nothing LONG TERM. possibly because she doesn’t see the point unless it’s for marriage. just like her mom and dad (lol troll.) she has the independent woman facade going on right now. which makes her seem like she doesn’t want anyone. but deep down she’s a hopeless romantic. this girl would love to be loved. and she truly needs it. most of the time she makes herself the outcast. this girl is completely oblivious to anyone having a crush on her. assuming friendship automatically. she’s probably read tons of books about love and fluffy shit like that. so she has high expectations when it comes to relationships. so someone rlly needs to come here and treat this girl right.

WANTED CONNECTIONS

FRIENDS

best friend — someone who will always be there for her. the person she feels most comfortable with. // m, f, or nb

partner in crime — they may not be the most reliable person like her best friend. but definitely someone she can get turnt tf up with. // m, f, or nb

childhood friend(s) — her first friend(s)! the one(s) she’s known since birth. she will never switch up on the real ones. (or so u think...) // m, f, or nb

ENEMIES

rivals — someone who hates her and some she hates too. maybe they just don’t get along yo. it happens // m, f, or nb

old bully — maybe somebody who bullied her or someone she might have bullied? bc honestly, if she bullied someone it would’ve been a joke. // m, f, or nb

old flame that didn’t end well — this is someone she used to date. maybe they wanted it to go further than just a date. but she ended up cutting ties with them. now it’s just made awk. // m, f, or nb

LOVERS

hate/love — just ‘cause these are my favorites. just little bickering. maybe they’re too much alike or just not a like at all. // m, f, or nb

old flame that ended well — the classic, exes that ended on good terms. they don’t hate each other at all. are actually still on really good terms. and possibly still have lingering feelings. // m, f, or nb

currently dating — going on dates and what not. having a good time. who knows where this could go. // m, f, or nb

MISCELLANEOUS

☪ overall, this bitch is flippy floppy. she’s loyal. quiet, but has a lot of opinions. intelligent, but sometimes stand-off-ish. she’s a bit of a feminist. trusts no bitch. but if you’re her friend, she’s chill AF. but really — she just doesn’t know how to process her good thoughts into words. she’s a barista and florist. she’s independent, hardworking, and determined. my muse for her is michelle (spider man homecoming) & margo roth spiegelman (paper towns). she’s a bit sketch when it comes to making new friends. since she’s a bit of a loner. and she’s super family oriented. despite her being absolutely oblivious to the fact that her mom cheated on her “dad” with her bio dad. anyways, give her girl scout cookies and she’ll love you til the end of time. overall, she’s not as lame as she portrays herself to be and is actually a pretty rad chick.

wEW this got waaaaaay longer than i expected it to be. anywho, if you actually read all this i love you and i cherish you hella. if you just skimmed, i would too. i would really love to plot with everyone. so just slide into my dms and we can get things started!! but okay, so, now imma go touch up my other intros. hope u don’t hate me after this long ass essay lmao. luv u *blows a kiss*

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gxtsmxt-blog · 8 years ago

Note

Hey, may i request a Jungkook story well I don't really have a plot tbh i just wanna read a story of jungkook like those collage au and have a hobby of photography 🙈 thanks 😊

the nudist and the prudist [m]

❛❛ i saw you naked on your porch but jesus christ is my friend so i was hoping i would never see you again but here you are go away hot person❜❜ AU

COUNT → 14.968

GENRE → smut | angst | fluff | humor

PAIRING → jungkook | reader

WARNINGS → explicit language | virgin reader | exhibitionism | alcoholism | sEX

LINKS → TNATP 1.5 (jungkook’s pov)

note: so. this was mostly inspired by me walking by a naked man in real life this weekend. i live in a big city where one of the state universities is. lets just say i ran away screaming in terror. but ofc nothing else happened. never saw that man again. a nice butt he had. anyways. im gonna go to church now and say hello to my gOOD FRIEND JESUS CHRIST!!!!!!! AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

also send in more requests bc im a thirsty hoe

It was finally spring.

The bitter cold had lasted longer than normal and you feared that even the first day of spring would be filled with steady snowfall. Your winter had been spent wrapped in blankets, sipping on hot apple cider, and venturing outdoors with scarves nearly constricting your airflow. You thought the cold season was beautiful, but it was only beautiful superficially in your eyes. You didn’t enjoy walking around in layers upon layers of clothing and never leaving your room unless you absolutely had to. Then, one morning, you were greeted by melted snow and grass finally taking on that vibrant green color you missed so much.

As an introvert, winter was your own nightmare.

But then it became spring.

Pulling your keys from your backpack, you locked your door with a flick of your wrist, then moved through the claustrophobic hallway that connected you to your other housemates. They weren’t necessarily housemates exactly, as you’d never even spoken a word to any of them, but all three of you shared a bathroom and kitchen along with the people upstairs. Each of you had your own separate room as well—just as small as the hallway. Not counting your own building, there were four separate buildings altogether with a large, steep driveway near the front lawn. Your apartment specifically was located near the back where everyone parked their cars, each person having a spot that correlated with their room number. Closing the door quietly behind you, you made your way to the concrete stairs on the opposite side of the driveway and garbage bin, heading your university’s main campus.

As a first year, you had decided to live on your own without a roommate. Your parents advised you against it at first, as they knew you were the quiet type and it was hard for you to make friends, but you convinced them it would save you money in the long run. They offered to pay for most of your tuition, but you wanted to do so yourself. The two of them had been married for twenty-five years and you always compared your relationships—or lack thereof—to their own when you thought of settling down and having children; they were your role models. Even something as small as living off-campus was something you wanted them to fully support, even if it was ultimately your decision.

Your black boots made contact with the sidewalk after crossing the street, looking both ways before you did. It seemed no one was around but it was seven o'clock in the morning. Your first class wasn’t for another two hours and the walk to the bus stop was short, but you wanted to make a habit of reviewing your notes before your classes now that the weather was sunny again.

You rested your hands on the camera dangling around your neck. Your photography project for the week was to take pictures of nature at different times throughout the day. You recalled most of your pictures taken over the semester had snowfall in the background, so you were looking forward to the contrast from your new pictures. And today, you would capture spring for the first time.

Just as you passed by a few houses, your eyes followed after a robin as it perched on the railing of one of the porches across the street. It was slightly chubby, or maybe that was just its feathers, but you smiled as it began to chirp to its heart’s content. If you weren’t so shy and quiet, maybe you would sing, too.

You closed an eye and played with the focus to get the perfect shot—but then a naked man was opening the front door, standing directly behind the bird as you took the picture. The bird flew off to perch itself on a nearby branch instead, flapping its wings and squawking wildly in surprise, while you remained rooted to the sidewalk in pure shock. It was a good thing your camera was attached to a long string around your neck, as you let go of it when you let out a high-pitched scream.

He turned at that, not even realizing a person was standing across the street facing his house, and that’s when you saw it—his penis hanging there like a limp noodle. You covered your eyes so fast that you alsmost poked yourself in the eye, but for some reason you made a gap with your fingers to peek through. He looked like he was your age, maybe a year or two older than you. His hair was almost onyx as strands of straight hair fell into his eyes. You could feel your cheeks heating up but you couldn’t stop looking at him—both at him and his penis. He was muscular, too, his biceps and thighs attractively toned.

To your embarrassment, you realized this was the first time you’d seen a penis besides from illustrations in your high school textbook. It wasn’t like your family was religious or anything for you to never see one up close and in real life. Your mom had given you “the talk” when you got your period in seventh grade and explained sex to you in almost vivid detail, but also gave you her opinion on it—that sex should be reserved for a husband and his wife only. Maybe you were too young at the time to form an opinion of your own, but you had agreed with her. You promised you would wait until marriage to do that.

And, you supposed, somewhere along the way, you also promised never to look at a penis. Or maybe you just didn’t want to. Even from the simple illustrations in textbooks, they grossed you out.

Noticing your feet were still planted firmly to the ground, you broke into a run in the direction of the bus stop with your hands still covering your eyes, which wasn’t a good combination as a car honked at you when you blindly ran in front of it. You had no idea why you were running in the first place—as if he was going to chase you or something—but your first instinct was always to run away.

And he just stood there like this was just another day.

Faintly, you could hear him call after you, but you were not about to have a conversation with a naked man. You liked to look someone in the eye when you spoke to them and something told you that you would be looking at something else if he tried talking to you. Your thoughts raced as you wondered why he was even naked in the first place. Was he one of those guys you could look up online and find where he lived on the “sexual predators near you” list? If not, he was going to be up there very soon.

Even as the house disappeared from view when you turned a corner, you kept running. A man mowing his lawn simply watched on as you did, but you didn’t think much of it. You would later, though—your anxiety obnoxiously reminding you this incident happened in the first place.

When you reached an intersection near a busier part of the neighborhood, you hunched over to catch your breath. You tried not to think about his penis, but you couldn’t help it. It had been right there in your face. Well, maybe not right in your face, as you were standing at least a few hundred feet away, but you had seen it and you had stared longer than at least thirty seconds.

It really did look bigger than it did in pictures. Sex and male genitalia were never something you spent hours upon hours thinking about—until now. Now, as you sluggishly dragged your feet to the bus stop, you couldn’t stop thinking about it. It was so veiny and… thick. Was that supposed to fit inside of you someday? You knew men were of all different shapes and sizes when it came to their penises, but how could a penis be any larger than that and still fit? How did he even walk around with that thing? And you thought the hair was on the whole shaft. From what you saw, his pubic hair was actually at the base of it. The artist in your sex ed textbook illustrated penises with hair—well—everywhere. Maybe she was like you and had never seen a penis before either. That was slightly alarming, though, because maybe she shouldn’t be drawing penises if she hadn’t even seen one in the first place.

Pulling your phone out of your back jean pocket and wiping the sweat off of your forehead with the palm of your hand, you realized it was 7:08—it only took eight minutes for that disaster to happen. Your index finger tugged at the collar of your shirt and the slight spring breeze felt heavenly against the sweat that had accumulated there. You didn’t even notice how much you were sweating until now. It was a good thing you always put on deodorant. Were you sweating from the exhaustion of running away from a naked man for three blocks straight or… was it something else?

As the bus pulled in front of you, you quietly found an empty seat inside. You had a class in two hours but somehow you had a feeling you wouldn’t be able to review any of your notes efficiently.

Your mind was thinking about something else.

You had memorized his address—or maybe it wasn’t even his house. Actually, you didn’t want to think about that because somehow that was worse; some random guy feeling the breeze on his bare genitals on an old woman’s porch was definitely worse. If you felt like you were traumatized, she would have a heart attack and then die—probably. So, you rationalized that it had to be his house and also wondered if he had roommates or even a girlfriend living with him.

9773 S. Briarwood Dr.

That was his address and the street the two of you lived on. Your apartment building was but two houses away from his, separated by mere shrubbery. How had you had gone through half of the semester already—and walking by his house each day—without seeing him at least once? Maybe you were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. If you had left your room even fifteen minutes later that day, would you have even seen him at all?

After you came home from a study group later that night, you had torn a piece of paper out of your notebook and mapped out your entire neighbor—including possible bus stops, alleyways, and other shortcuts. His house was outlined with a bright red marker and crossed out, as if to tell anyone reading your map that it was a blocked off quarantine zone. It also helped that you drew him as a stick figure in his front lawn wearing no clothes with “beware of naked person” written beside him.

Behind your building were a multitude of possible routes. You could easily loop around the block so you never walked by his house on your way to the bus stop ever again. Though, you would also have to leave earlier in the morning. If that didn’t work, there was also another bus stop in the opposite direction you could take, but that meant waking up even earlier in the morning. You didn’t mind waking up earlier in the morning, but hoped that you never slept in late—for your sake.

All this trouble just because of a boy—and once again, you were thinking about his penis.

That entire day had been a nightmare for you. You went through the various stages of grief within two hours, but in reverse order—acceptance, depression, and then anger as you battled against yourself to not call the local authorities and tell them about a disturbing naked man walking the streets. You had every right to, you told yourself, as being naked in public was literally a crime: public indecency.

You felt like you were a used napkin now. He hadn’t taken your virginity but he had taken your innocence—the innocence that had never seen a penis in real life. But then you thought that it could’ve been an accident. The person inside of you that always tried to see the good in people wouldn’t allow your fingers to dial 9-1-1 and instead hoped an accident was what it was.

The spring breeze whipped your hair into your face just as his house came into view with you glancing down nervously at the picture you took of your map on your phone. It wasn’t too late; you could turn around to take another route and still get to the library with enough time to study.

You can do this, you told yourself. You’re a big girl living in the city. He’ll understand if you just talk to him. Tell him he can be naked all he wants as long as it’s not before eight o'clock in the morning during the weekdays.

You had every intention of marching up the steps leading to his front porch, knocking on his door, and saying exactly that, but then you changed your mind. Your brisk walk turned into slight panting as you quickly sped right on by.

However, just as you reached the intersection, as his house was the last house on the block before crossing the street, you heard a voice calling after you. Looking over your shoulder, you were more than surprised to see the very same person you saw yesterday, except half-clothed this time. He jogged down the steps, his bare feet running across the grass in his front lawn as he made his way over to you still frozen at the stop sign. You couldn’t help but have your eyes trail to his covered crotch and how something was moving in his sweatpants. Sparing a glance at his naked chest once, you turned on your heel and ran across the road, not even caring if a car hit you at that point.

“Hey!” he yelled after you but you didn’t slow down. “Girl with her backpack open!”

You stopped, looking behind you to see him still standing on the opposite side of the road. Your eyes landed on a trail of pencils behind you and you reached around your sides to feel the pocket where you kept your writing utensils was open. You bent over and tried to pick up all your pens, pencils, and multicolored highlighters before he could reach you, but just as you grabbed for an eraser in the middle of the road, he snatched it right out from under you.

You stood to your feet and reached for it, but he had at least a few centimeters on you and easily held it above your head. With his arm lifted in the air, you were given the perfect view of his bicep flexing and the dark patch of hair growing in his armpits.

“I remember you.”

No, you don’t, you thought to yourself.

“You saw me yesterday.”

No, I didn’t, you thought to yourself again but remained silent.

You could feel your cheeks heating up but he still kept your eraser out of your reach. Maybe it wasn’t worth it, but you were there now and should at least listen to what he had to say.

“About—”

“Jungkookie~” a feminine voice sang from a crack in his front door, manicured hands gripping onto its frame. Only her head peeked out and you wondered if she also had a problem wearing clothes.

Without taking his eyes off you or lowering his arm, he called her name back in the same sing-song voice. She giggled at him playfully, then her eyes fell on you, the smile slipping off her face.

“Who is she?” she said with a pout. “Come back to bed. I’m lonely without you.”

“I don’t know who she is,” he yelled over his shoulder, then looked back at you. “What’s your name?”

You looked between him and the seemingly naked girl behind his front door, feeling very uncomfortable staying there any longer. His arm had fallen slightly when he called over to her and he didn’t seem to notice, so you took that chance to jump in the air and snatch back your eraser.

“Hey!” he called after you when he noticed, watching as you ran across the street.

Just like yesterday, you ran until his house disappeared when you turned the corner. You had thought you could talk to him one-on-one but you felt so nervous around him. Maybe because you didn’t have the best of confidence around guys your age—or guys at all—but he made you really nervous. You brushed off that feeling from you seeing him naked, though, and not from something else.

For the past week, you walked in the opposite direction of his house on your way to the bus stop each day. It wasn’t like he was sitting on his porch waiting for you to walk by, but on the off chance that he was, you didn’t want to have another awkward chat with him. You didn’t know if he was actually a student at your university or was just some guy living on the same street as you either because your university was so large in the first place; you never saw the same person twice.

Stepping onto the bus one morning, however, your mood somewhat deteriorated at the sight of how many people were on the bus. It was crowded—so crowded that you knew you wouldn’t be able to find a seat and would have to be squished between people. Though, you had woken up late and expected there to be more people than normal, you didn’t think it would be too bad. You didn’t like being touched by strangers, but you didn’t have a car or even a bicycle to give you any other option.

The bus driver instructed everyone to make three rows, which caused you get up close and personal with the people around you. Satisfied, he pressed on the gas pedal and began to drive towards the main campus. A hand fell on your shoulder, then grabbed onto one of your backpack straps currently sliding past your shoulder and down your arm. You looked over your shoulder to thank them, but then lost all train of thought when you recognized them immediately.

“Hey, backpack girl,” he greeted, patting your shoulder when he readjusted your strap for you.

“H-Hello,” you shyly said back, turning your attention back to the girl standing in front of you.

When the bus stopped suddenly, a pedestrian choosing to run across the street without looking, your back fell into his chest. The hand that wasn’t holding onto the handrail overhead fell to your waist, your shirt having ridden up slightly so all he could feel there was smooth, bare skin.

You turned your head slightly, muttering your thanks, and then the bus doors were opening. Your stop wasn’t for another fifteen minutes but you would simply wait for another bus. He was making you nervous again without even doing anything and you needed a moment to yourself to calm down.

Other people followed you off the bus, walking over to the crosswalk, but you approached the bench. You placed your backpack against your legs, closing your eyes for a moment as you sat down. When you opened them, you were greeted by that growing smile you were dreading to see.

“Did you follow me?” you asked, surprised at yourself for sounding so competent.

“I don’t just sit on my porch all day with my dick hanging out, you know.”

You gave him a small smile at that. “I meant did you follow me off the bus?”

“You just happened to get off at my stop, backpack girl.”

He sat beside you on the bench with a thud, spreading his legs as he glanced at you.

“My name isn’t ‘backpack girl,’” you returned quietly and folded your hands in your lap.

“Yeah? I asked you what your name was last week but you didn’t answer me.”

“O-Oh,” you said and looked at him through your peripheral vision. “Right.”

“So?” he asked, leaning forward. “What’s your name? I’m Jungkook.”

You were still looking at him from the side, trying your best not to look down at his crotch. Glancing down at the hand placed between the two of you, your eyes followed the bulging veins from the back of his hand, disappearing into the sleeve of his shirt. Looking him in the eye at that, you realized he’d already been staring at you. He didn’t seem to notice you staring at his hand, though. Quietly, you muttered your name and he repeated it to himself.

“It’s nice to meet you,” Jungkook said with a charming smile. “Except we’ve met before, haven’t we?”

“Y-Yes,” you stuttered and felt the familiar rush of blood to your cheeks.

Standing up, you muttered a quiet goodbye and then walked over to the stop light. Instead of him letting you leave, however, he followed after you, standing to your left as the two of you waited for the light to change. You looked both ways to make sure no one was coming before you crossed the busy street, the light still red. He, however, was paying more attention than you and pulled you back onto the sidewalk as a car drove past you and honked.

“The light was red.”

“I-I know.”

“You’re really cute, you know that?” he asked you with a light chuckle.

“I’m n-not, but thank you.”

The light indicated you could now cross the street and he let go of your arm.

“Promise to watch where you’re going!” he yelled after you.

Once you safely crossed the street, you waved back at him with a shy smile.

“Bye!” he yelled again, cupping his hands over his mouth. “I gotta get back to the bus stop!”

Your eyebrows furrowed at that, and then you yelled back, ��I thought that was your stop!”

He gave you a cheeky grin at that.

I lied, he mouthed back.

Jungkook wasn’t as bad as you thought he was.

It wasn’t like you had a bad thought about him in the first place. You assumed he was a good person and that it was simply an accident that you saw his penis, which you had long forgotten about—for the most part. You no longer avoided his house to take a different bus. Instead, you bravely walked by each day and he would sometimes be sitting on his porch to wave at you. Sometimes, he would stop you just to talk, simply to ask you how you were or ask you what you thought of a new movie.

One morning, however, he wasn’t there.

You couldn’t help but feel disappointed. It wasn’t like he was there every day—because sometimes, he told you, he would sleep in or go to the gym early in the morning. But a faint knock on the window had your heart beating a little faster than normal. Maybe he was home but just wasn’t outside. Pausing outside his house, you looked for which window he was knocking from.

But it was not a knock.

Instead, you saw a naked woman being pressed against a window. Your eyes widened at that, your phone that you’d been holding in your right hand falling onto the sidewalk. Bending over, you picked it up, thankful it had a cover on it, then glanced back at the window. Her breasts were squished against the glass and you could make out another figure directly behind her, reaching in front of her to grab at her lower regions. Didn’t he remember that you walked by his house every day at the exact same time? As you continued to stare in shock, her eyes slowly opened, looking directly at you and—

Oh, God.

Your hand covered your mouth, knowing exactly what was happening there. Before you could stop yourself, you were running past his house as fast as you could, nearly tripping over a crack in the sidewalk. You heard the front door opening with a slam but you continued to run, even after you heard his rushed footsteps follow after you and him yell your name multiple times.

Just before his house disappeared from view, you stopped and looked over your shoulder. He was only wearing a pair of boxers, but you were thankful he at least put on some clothes. Thinking that you already ran away, he looked up at the sky and ran his tongue past the seam of his lips. He kicked a rock across his front lawn and then cursed to himself before heading back inside. Just before the front door shut, you saw the naked girl stop in front of him and attempt to talk to him. You couldn’t make out what they were saying but it looked like he wasn’t happy with her as the door closed shut.

He must have just forgotten that you walked by every day. Why else would he be having sex with a girl against a window knowing that? Your eyes brimmed with tears, but you didn’t know why. It wasn’t like you liked him like that—romantically. He was very attractive and he was nice to you, but you didn’t know what you felt for him exactly. The two of you had only been talking for a week and that wasn’t enough time at all for you to like someone in that way, especially when you knew he had girls over all the time to have sex with them. He told you that much about him, at least.

After that, you stopped walking by his house.

You missed talking to him and you missed seeing him, but you were a little more than upset with him to care about his feelings. Did he even care that you stopped walking by? Maybe this was what he wanted all along; maybe he found your presence annoying and just wanted you to leave him alone. Surely he could’ve just told you that but that’s what your anxiety was telling you—and you believed it.

After you had been studying for hours and felt like your head was about to explode one night, your mind drifted back to him as it always did—him and that girl pressed up against the window. You had never watched porn before in your life, as you wanted to keep your innocence intact, but you couldn’t help but wonder how it felt to have sex with him like she had. What did it feel like? If he had girls over all the time just for that, he must’ve been good enough for them to always keep coming back.

You thought she was the same girl that was staying at his house that one time, though. For reasons you couldn’t yet explain or even understand, you felt jealous. It seemed like she was always at his house and maybe he was always naked because they were just having sex all the time. She was probably his girlfriend or maybe she was just a friend that he liked to have sex with—more so than any of the other girls he had sex with. Even if that’s all she was, you still felt envious of her. She could see him whenever she wanted, talk to him whenever she wanted. But you? You only saw him once every day at seven o'clock in the morning, and all you ever could do was wave.

For the first time in a long time, you were frustrated with your quiet nature. You couldn’t even speak more than a few words to him without getting flustered and now you had ruined it. Getting so upset over him having sex with a girl was completely ridiculous, but that’s how you felt.

Maybe you liked Jungkook a lot more than you thought you did.

Usually you made men uncomfortable with your quiet way of speaking and how you wouldn’t look them directly in the eye, but he didn’t mind at all. He thought you were cute and would tell you that whenever he felt like it. No one else had called you cute before in your life, except for your grandma when you were five years old. Somehow, you only liked it when he called you cute. You realized that you valued his opinion way too much, and that was clear from how sad you were from not seeing him.

For a fleeting second, you wondered what it would be like to have sex with him—vividly. What would it be like if, instead of that girl, it was you having sex with him? You covered your eyes at that thought out of embarrassment. That was just completely out of the question, something you shouldn’t even be thinking about at all. All you felt for Jungkook was attraction.

He didn’t care about you at all.

Even with that thought on your mind, as you laid in bed, your hand slowly drifted past your pajama shorts, touching yourself down there for the first time. The patch of hair made it awkward at first, but then your finger circled your outer lips and you let out a gasp at the sensation.

Would Jungkook touch you down there if you asked?

You closed your eyes, imagining your fingers were his instead. If his fingers were similar to the size of his penis, they would be long and able to reach places that yours couldn’t. Without even thinking twice about it, your other hand grasped one of your breasts through your baggy t-shirt, then rolled your nipple between your thumb and forefinger. It felt so good and there was so much wetness down there just from thinking about him touching you. You pulled your hand out of your warm center and slowly opened your eyes to look at it. It was coated with your own juices and somehow, that made you feel even more turned on than you already did. Letting go of your breast, you reached down and spread your lips open with your fingers so that the fingers on your other hand could go back to their caressing, but this time, you shoved the tip of your forefinger inside your tight hole.

It felt strange and almost uncomfortable, but after a few minutes, you were able to stick your entire finger all the way inside of you. You couldn’t even imagine what it would feel like if it was his finger instead. Adding another, your inner walls stretched even more at the new digit inside of you.

I am a good girl, you chanted in your head. I don’t do things like this. I am a good girl.

Even thinking that, though, you knew it wasn’t true. Something was very wrong with you for having such impure thoughts about a boy you rarely saw except for in the morning. You thought back to how he’d pressed that girl against the window. How would it feel to be in her place?

Your hips stuttered at that, the speed of your fingers increasing. All your mind was thinking about was Jungkook—how hard he would press you into that window, how hard he would fuck you into that window. Your fingers suddenly weren’t enough; you wanted his fingers inside of you.

“J-Jungkook,” you moaned quietly to yourself, your legs twitching.

Then you pulled your fingers out of you and began to caress your outer lips again, pausing when you touched yourself in a certain way that shot an intense amount of pleasure through you. You pinched at your lips and tried to locate the same spot near where your outer lips met at the top of your vagina.

“Oh, God…” you couldn’t help but cry out loudly, squeezing your thighs together for some friction.

The sensation felt so good, but it also made you feel different as well. You wanted to keep going but you also wanted to stop, which was what you did.

This was not what you should be doing. It was just going to make things worse for you. Jungkook would have sex with you and then never speak to you again, or at least that’s what you told yourself. He would deflower you and leave you out to dry like a dirty sock.

At that thought, warm tears formed in the corners of your eyes.

And as you laid in your bed, your fingers coated in your own juices, you cried.

The next few days after that, you felt physically and emotionally drained. You couldn’t even get out of bed, or maybe it was because you didn’t want to. Never had you felt so ashamed of yourself because this was all because of a boy. Your parents would be ashamed of you if they knew, too.

And that made you feel even worse.

They would be disgusted by your behavior you and probably think to themselves what they did so wrong to raise such a horrible excuse for a daughter. And they had every right to think that.

After a week of skipped classes and homework piling up more and more each day, you found yourself lying in the front lawn of your apartment building late one night. It was the weekend and no one would care if they saw a crying girl on the grass. They would let you self-deprecate in peace.

With a half-empty bottle of straight vodka on its side by your head, you opened your eyes.

“Hey, man,” you heard a familiar voice say to someone else, then they asked if you lived here.

You sat up so quickly at that your head began to spin. The conversation was distant enough that you could tell they were talking right in front of the building near the street. Placing a hand on your forehead, you strained your ears to listen, even though your brain was screaming at you to die.

When you heard nothing, you assumed they left and laid back down on the ground, taking a swig of vodka as you did. The burn was unpleasant but you welcomed it and took another.

“Yeah, but how do you know her exactly?”

“Uh… It’s kind of a long story.”

“All right, man. Well, she’s in #10.”

You gulped at that, hoping that it was so late in the evening now that he wouldn’t see you in the dark.

You heard a car starting and footsteps getting closer as they traipsed up the driveway, then you peeked through half-closed eyelids to see a shadow looming over you.

“What are you doing?” Jungkook asked, a concerned look on his face.

“Whoever you’re d-dialing can’t be r-reached,” you slurred, batting the person standing beside you away with your hand like they were a fly buzzing around your head. “Try…" You started to hiccup, enough that you just gave up on finishing your sentence.

“Oh, Jesus…”

He knelt at your side, prying the bottle of vodka out of your hands with a sigh. You faintly remembered hearing him ask himself how you managed to get vodka in the first place, but then he was tossing the bottle somewhere behind him on the grass. It clinked when it rolled into the fence surrounding the nearby garbage bin, then he grabbed one of your arms to get you to stand up. He called your name once, then several times to get your attention.

“Can you hear me right now?”

You groaned in response.

“Shit. You’re so fucked up.”

He pulled at your arms like you were some sort of rag doll, your face falling into the crook of his neck easily from his strength. Another sigh escaped him, but it didn’t seem like he was bothered. Reaching for your legs, he easily pulled you into his chest and carried you down the driveway bridal style.

“W-Where are we goin’?” you managed to ask and attempted to focus on his face. Your hands idly hung around his neck and he suddenly paused, hoisting you further up his body.

“My house. Is that okay?”

Your head fell against his shoulder, blacking out for a few seconds at a time. He resumed walking when you didn’t say anything back. When you opened your eyes again after what felt like only seconds, you were lying on a couch inside someone’s house. The sight of a large ceiling fan greeted you when you did, and then you glanced around what appeared to be a living room.

“Jungkook,” you heard a voice say. “Why is there a drunk girl on our couch right now?”

“You know, it’s a funny story…”

“And you know what else is a funny story? That whenever you say something is a ‘funny story,’ it actually isn’t a ‘funny story’ at all because you did something stupid.”

Jungkook sighed. “Don’t you have somewhere to be?”

“Oh, shit. You’re right. I gotta get going, but you better not let her puke on the carpet.”

The door slammed with a shut and you heard Jungkook sigh again, then watched as he carried one of the dining room chairs in front of you to take a seat. Your eyes fell onto his thighs, the back of the chair facing you and him sitting on it with his legs spread open.

“You’re conscious,” he said after a few seconds, smiling in relief.

“Jungkook,” you started to say, “why weren’t you there that morning?”

It was a vague question but somehow he knew exactly what you meant.

“I’m so fucking sorry you had to see that. I didn’t even— It didn’t even register that… I’m sorry.”

You sat up, rubbing at your temples for a moment. He went to reach for you in an attempt to steady you, but you backed away from him and pressed yourself more into the couch.

“It’s fine,” you said, which was a lie. “Can you take me home?”

“Y-Yeah. Are you sure you’re okay, though?”

You wanted to lie again and tell him you were fine, but somehow you couldn’t even do that. Even after passing out, you still could feel the alcohol pumping through your veins, giving you a false sense of confidence. You knew if you were even slightly sober, you wouldn’t have said a word.

“No, but I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”

You stood up, your head spinning as you did and almost causing you to topple over. Raising a hand, you gestured that you were fine and could walk by yourself without his help.

It was awkward as you stumbled over to his front door, trying to open it but not realizing it was locked. He reached over your shoulder, his large hand encasing your own on the door knob so he could unlock it, then offered you a small smile. You didn’t return it, though.

He silently followed you outside, walking behind you quietly.

“Are you sure you're—”

“I said I’m fine.”

He didn’t say another word after that. Cars drove by but that was all you heard as the two of you slowly made your way past the houses separating his house from your own.

“You know what? I’m not. I’m a little intoxicated right now—”

He snorted softly at that, agreeing with you.

“—and so I’m probably going to say something dumb. Usually I wouldn’t even be speaking more than two words to you but right now I don’t give a shit. That’s right. I know what that word means.”

You spun around to face him, breathing heavily after your outburst.

“I’m fucking pissed at you. You knew I would be walking by but then I saw— And I know we’re not even friends. We’re complete strangers, but I figured you could at least keep your dick in your pants for even just one second because I thought we— I thought y-you l-liked me like I like y-you.”

“I do lik—!”

“I am talking right now, Jungkook,” you hissed, taking a step forward. “As I was saying… I thought— But I guess I was wrong. You probably only started talking to me in the first place because you wanted to stick your dick in me, right? Why else would you talk to someone as socially awkward and quiet as me?”

You turned back around, then, with your back facing him. He didn’t have much to say in response, his mouth opening and closing as if he couldn’t think of what to say. The two of you continued towards your building in silence again. You crossed your arms, so many things left unsaid between you two.

When you reached your driveway, you threw a glance over your shoulder.

“Thanks for walking me home,” you quietly said. “I won’t be walking by anymore so you can screw whoever you want wherever you want without worrying about me, if you even did at all.”

Then you wobbled your way up the driveway, set on storming into your room to take a long nap. Though, it was late at night already so that would probably just be called sleeping.

“Wait!” he yelled after you, but didn’t make a move to go after you. “Will you just— Fucking hold on.”

You heard his rushed footsteps behind you, then he grabbed your shoulder to spin you around. He pulled back at the sight of tears brimming in your eyes, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

“I do fucking like you. I do but I… I’m not good enough for you. No one is good enough for you.”

“Don’t you think I should be the one to decide that?” you whispered, your voice breaking slightly.

“I don’t… I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You already did.”

You pulled your arm out of his grasp and tried to walk back up the driveway, but then he was grabbing for your arm again, this time pushing you into the fence surrounding the garbage bin. Surprised, you looked up at him. He bit into his lip, seeming to make up his mind about something.

“You’re not… making this fucking easy on me, you know?”

Then he was kissing you.

His arms caged you into the fence, angling his head as he sucked your upper lip into his mouth. Your eyes blinked rapidly, still trying to process what was happening. His lips felt chapped but also soft at the touch, something you hadn’t been expecting. You’d been kissed before but they were only pecks on the lips and definitely nothing as searing hot as his mouth. You felt his tongue lick across the seam of your lips, and your eyes closed on reflex at that as you slowly opened your mouth for him.

“I shouldn’t be…” he mumbled against your lips, returning his tongue into your mouth. Seeming to have forgotten what he was trying to say, his words just trailed off into the air.

One of his hands fell from the wooden fence and skimmed down your sides, stopping at your waist and maneuvering under your shirt to feel the warm skin there. Compared to your heated body, his hands were like ice cubes but you didn’t want him to stop touching you. Even just kissing him was something you didn’t want to stop doing. His other hand followed soon after, both of them gliding at a snail’s pace across the skin at your back. Your eyes snapped open when he roughly pulled you against him and your breasts pressed against his firm chest. It was like your body was on fire and you could feel your heart beating wildly in your chest. You wondered if he could hear it, too.

He exhaled through his nose after a few seconds and pulled away from your mouth to trail kisses from your chin to down your neck. Your hands bunched up the fabric at his collar as you stood there and let him do whatever he wanted to you. You hadn’t ever been kissed like how he was kissing you, ravaging your neck with such an intensity you found it hard to think straight. His teeth nipped at the skin there lightly, which caused you to let out a gasp. After placing a chaste kiss there, he breathed heavily into your neck for a moment, pulling back after a while to look at you. The hands holding you to him at your back suddenly slid further up your shirt and you felt a shiver run down your spine.

Your eyes opened again to see him staring down at you with raw desire. He bent his head forward to kiss you once as if he couldn’t help himself—a fleeting peck—and then he pulled away again. You moaned lowly from the back of your throat at the loss of contact and he licked his lips, scanning your face under the glow of the dim streetlight. Your lips felt bruised and wet with his own saliva and yours.

He leant forward again and pressed a kiss against your temple, then one softly to your cheek. Pulling away one last time, the two of you just stared at each other in awe. You didn’t know what to say and definitely hadn’t been expecting him to kiss you ten minutes ago—especially not like that.

And then a car was honking at the two of you, gesturing for you to get out of the way so they could find a parking spot without hitting you. Jungkook grabbed at your waist, his hands at your back sliding around to grip your sides. Then his hands were gone, skimming down the length of your arm to hold onto your hand tightly and drag you around the garbage bin to let them drive past you.

When they were gone, disappearing behind the building, he looked back down at you.

“So, um…” he said, panting slightly. “That was… something…”

“Yeah,” you replied, staring at your feet in embarrassment.

He sensed that and instantly felt regret, not from kissing you but from doing so without your permission. He hadn’t even asked you if it was okay with you—he just did it without thinking.

“I’m sorry. I—” he started to say, then cut himself off. “I’ve been saying that a lot lately, huh?”

You snapped up your head to look at him. “It’s okay! I’m fine. Don’t apologize.”

Every time he looked at you, all he could remember was how warm you felt inside your mouth. For a moment, his thoughts went south. He had to get you back in your room before he made things worse.

“Are you going to be okay on your own?”

“Y-Yeah. I can find my way. Don’t worry about me,” you assured with a warm smile. He let go of your hand after realizing he was still holding onto it somewhat tightly. “I’m… I’m sorry for yelling at you.”

“I’m sorry for kissing you,” he said quietly.

“Don’t be.” You tucked a few strands of hair behind your ear. “I… I liked it, so thank you.”

His hands twitched at his sides at what you said, his brain screaming at him to get away from you.

You turned around and began to walk up the pathway to your building, opening the door. Looking over your shoulder, you gave him a small wave and smiled at him. Before you disappeared inside, however, he was running over to you and grabbing onto the door frame.

“Listen… uh…” he began and scratched the back of his neck nervously. “Can I make it up to you? For kissing you and for… you know. I’m throwing a party tomorrow night. You should come.”

Your hands held onto the side of the door, his hand holding onto the door frame inches from your own.

“O-Okay,” you agreed, smiling. “If you want me to come, I will.”

He breathed out a sigh of relief, smiling back at you. “Great. I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

You nodded and he nodded back, awkwardly. Waving one last time, you closed the door in his face. After you walked down the hallway to unlock your door and disappeared from sight, he breathed deeply through his nose, able to think straight for the first time in what seemed like two hours. He moved to walk back down the driveway and go to sleep in his own bedroom, looking over his shoulder at the door several times as he did.

“God, I’m fucked…” he mumbled to himself, wondering if inviting you to his party was a good idea.

You fell asleep late that night, not waking up until half-past noon the next morning. It wasn’t something you could help, though, as you couldn’t stop thinking about him and that kiss. Now, at a quarter until nine o'clock at night, you pulled back your covers and walked over to your mirror. Was going to his party such a good idea? Maybe all he wanted to do was talk to you and hang out with you, but what if he was with one of those girls? You would just get angry with him again and it wouldn’t be anyone else’s fault but your own.

Going through your closet, you took at least ten minutes to pick out what to wear. You wanted to impress him but also didn’t want him to know you were trying to impress him, so you went with a simple blouse paired with a somewhat short skirt. You hadn’t shaved your legs in two days, but the hair growing back wasn’t that noticeable. Glancing at your reflection in the mirror one last time, you pulled your hair so it was halfway up and secured it with a ponytail. You didn’t wear heavy makeup, mascara and light foundation the most you wore on a good day, but you put on some red lipstick anyway.

He didn’t tell you what time the party started and you didn’t even have his phone number, but you knew the second you heard the loud bass vibrating against your wall. Locking your door behind you, you slowly walked down the driveway with butterflies in your stomach. It was already an hour after the music started and you wondered if he was still waiting for you to show up.

He probably already forgot about you.

You walked across his lawn, the tips of the grass blades tickling your toes in your flip flops, intending to awkwardly knock on the front door. Running through your head what you would say to him inside, you didn’t even notice a figure sitting on the porch until they were waving at you.

It was Jungkook.

“Hey,” he called over to you, standing up. “You took your sweet time getting over here.”

You giggled shyly to yourself. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think you’d be waiting for me outside.”

He removed the hoodie from over his head, running a hand through his black hair. You looked him up and down from his dark wash jeans to his baggy, loose-fitting sweatshirt, finding the sight of his hands digging into his front jean pockets really attractive for some reason. Your eyes finally trailed back up to his face to see if he had caught you staring only to see he was doing the same to you.

“Cute,” he said after a moment, one corner of his lips tilting up into a lopsided grin. “Come on.”

With his hands still in his jean pockets, he gestured with his elbow for you to follow him inside. You did as he said, then he paused at the front door, holding it open for you.

“Ladies first.”

Upon entering his house for the second time, it was loud and crowded with people huddled together in every corner. The bass was even louder inside—which you didn’t think was even possible—and you anxiously looked behind you in hopes of seeing Jungkook not far behind. As an introvert, parties never appealed to you. Even hanging out in a small group gave you intense anxiety, so you were definitely the type to hug the corners of a wall at a party or hang out with their pets instead of getting drunk.

As he walked over to stand at your side, he could tell you were anxious and grabbed your hand, pulling you into the kitchen. A few guys greeted him with that weird shake that guys do. He grinned back that, making small talk for a moment, before his eyes fell back onto you.

“You’re not twenty-one, are you?” he asked, quirking an eyebrow at you playfully.

You feel your cheeks heat up. “No. I’m only eighteen.”

“I knew it,” he said with a laugh, stepping away from the counter littered with beer bottles and half-full red solo cups. “I figured you were a freshman the moment I saw you.”

After digging through the fridge, he pulled out a pitcher of apple juice, pouring you a cup.

“You should have some, too,” you said with a giggle.

“Nah.” He smiled down at you from across the counter at that. “Orange juice is more my thing.”

You let out a loud at that, then covered your mouth with one of your hands in embarrassment.

“God, you’re cute,” he mumbled, mostly to himself. “I like hearing you laugh, so don’t hide it.”

You took a sip of your apple juice at that, the cool drink sliding down your throat a nice contrast to the heat spreading over your cheeks. He continued to look at you, his elbows resting against the cool countertop. Feeling yourself getting a little too hot, either from him staring at you or all the sweat in the air from the bodies inside the house, you asked if there was a bathroom you could use.

“Yeah,” he replied and pointed behind you to the stairs. “It’s just upstairs and on your right.”

You muttered your thanks, setting your apple juice on the counter, then brushed past some people to find the stairs. Glancing over your shoulder once, you could see Jungkook watching you across the room.

As you quickly padded up the stairs, disappearing down the hallway. Jungkook took a swig of beer, giving himself some liquid courage before he followed you up the stairs. This was his chance to talk to you away from all his friends and various drunk people he didn’t know he invited. Although he wasn’t sure how well it would go, he couldn’t keep it in the shadows any longer. He ran up the stairs, skipping steps, and heard the faucet turn on. Licking his lips nervously, he knocked on the door.

“Occupied,” he heard back and he had to stifle a laugh.

“It’s me,” he said after a few seconds. “Can I talk to you for a second?”

You opened the door, looking at him with curious, wide eyes. Stepping away to give him enough room to walk inside, he slowly brushed past you into the bathroom.

“It’s quieter here,” he mumbled, looking around as if it wasn’t the same bathroom he used every day.

“Yeah,” you agreed and looked at him expectantly with folded arms.

“You remember when you saw me naked that one time?”

“How could I ever forget?”

He laughed at that. “I’m sorry about that, but I just wanted to explain. I know that happened a month ago but you probably are still wondering about that. It was a little weird, huh?”

“A little bit…” you quietly replied, smiling shyly.

“I… I’m a, uh… I’m an exhibitionist.”

You could only stare up at him at that. Uncrossing your arms, you asked, “You’re a… You’re a what?”

“Exhibitionist. It means I get turned on when people see me naked. It’s a kink of—”

“Wh— Uh… You…”

“Maybe I should’ve transitioned you into this more gently…”

“M-Maybe. Does… Does that mean that you did that on purpose?!”

“No, no, no! It was an accident!” he frantically reassured you, waving his hands wildly. “I didn’t know you were going to be walking by—trust me. But I… may or may not have gotten turned on by…”

“…me seeing you naked?”

It was awkwardly silent and if you weren’t in the room, he would probably be kicking himself in the nuts for making you uncomfortable. He hadn’t even planned out what he was going to say to you or how. All he knew was he wanted to clear things up and try to make you understand him a little bit.

His head fell against the wall, tucking his hands into his front jean pockets. “That came out wrong.”

“Maybe… Maybe I should go…” you slowly said, already taking a step towards the closed door.

“Wait!” he yelled, moving himself to block off the door. “Hold on. I’m fucking sorry that this is probably making you uncomfortable but this isn’t actually what I wanted to talk about.”

“Then what is it you wanted to say?”

“I… Ah, fuck. I’m usually good at this.”

“Good at what?”

“I know you’re not that type of girl.”

“Type of girl?”

“I know how you’re going to respond but…”

“But what?”

He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “No one ever walks by my house early in the morning. I didn’t do it on purpose just to pop a boner. I didn’t even know you were there until…”

The two of you recalled at the same time how you had run away screaming.

“But that’s not what I wanted to say. I think you’re really fucking adorable. I’m kind of obvious about it, so you probably knew that already. And you also know that I hook up with a lot of girls at… here…”

You anxiously glanced at the door knob behind him.

“It turns me on when someone sees me naked and it turns me on to even fuck in public because just the thought of someone walking in on me with my dick out is… Fucking hell. Just the thought of it is… It’s never even mattered who it was or who I’m with either. I’ll fuck anyone anywhere and I’ll be… good to go. I’ve never really chased after anyone for sex because of it. But there’s… there’s something so fucking special about you. You’re a virgin, aren’t you?”

“Y-Yes…”

“God,” he groaned, closing his eyes as his head made a thud when it banged against the door. “I figured as much. I could just tell by how you act.”

You now understood where he was going with this as you glanced down at his bulging erection straining against the front of his jeans, backing yourself into the sink. Your hands came to rest on the edge and gripped onto the porcelain tightly until your knuckles turned white. He probably thought that this was freaking you out but it actually was making you feel something down there.

And that made you very nervous.

“I want to fuck you so bad.”

You sucked in a breath at that, your legs shaking slightly but hoping he wouldn’t notice.

“I haven’t had a good fuck in such a long time because all I can think about is you. Knowing you’ve never had sex before makes it even worse. You don’t even know how close I was to coming into your room last night and bending you over your desk—how close I was to pounding into you so hard that everyone in your fucking building would hear you screaming.”

“I… um…”

“And I’m not telling you this so that I can force you into anything you don’t want to do. I know you’re not that type of girl and would never force myself on anyone. I just needed to get this off my chest. I want to fuck you so badly, but I know you’re not into me like that. You’re probably waiting until marriage or some fairytale shit like that. I’m telling you this so that you stay the fuck away from me. Do you know how many times a day I pop a boner just from thinking about fucking you? It doesn’t even matter where—in a car, in this fucking bathroom, in the street. I would strangle a person just to bury my dick in you for even one fucking second.”

Instead of running past him and out the front door like a normal person, you stayed rooted to the spot. You bit into your bottom lip, then looked up at him to see him staring at your mouth.

“Okay.”

He blinked, his mouth falling open. “Okay? What are you—”

“I’ll have sex with you.”

He opened his mouth to object again, even though he was the one who brought it up, but you stepped forward and away from the sink. Did he really think just because you were a virgin you wouldn’t? He had to know how ridiculously good looking he was; the old lady across the street would even agree.

All you could think about the past week was the exact same thing he’d been thinking about. You wanted him to bend you over your desk. You wanted him to fuck you, even just for a second. You wanted him to fuck you so hard that all your neighbors would hear you screaming. All your fantasies of getting married to the perfect guy and giving your virginity to him on your wedding night on top of a bed littered with rose petals was out the window.

“I want you, too,” you whispered, grabbing onto his forearms.

His breath hitched at that, and then he was leaning more into the door to back away from you. You pulled buck, letting go of his arms as a hurt expression crossed your face.

“But you don’t want to,” you said quietly.

“I-I do! It’s just… Have you been fucking listening to me?” He reached for one of your hands but you backed into the sink again, looking at a crack in the wall instead of looking him in the eye. “I just… It would be a mistake before—”

“Mistake?” you asked him and your eyebrows knitted together. “I’m sorry for… I’m sorry.”

And then you were brushing past him to walk downstairs, the front door getting closer with each step. Jungkook didn’t even go after you, just stood there after you squeezed past him. He hadn’t even objected at all. It was the right thing to do, he thought to himself just as you closed the front door.

You didn’t even get to hear the rest of what he had to say.

You felt embarrassed.

You had gone above and beyond and actually told him you wanted to have sex with him, and then he just rejected you like that was the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard in his life. You understood that he thought he was doing the right thing but he seemed to make up his mind on what you wanted. Once again, he was treating you like you were some porcelain doll that couldn’t make her own decisions. Why had he even brought it up if he wasn’t interested in that with you anyway? He made it sound like he was, but then he confused you when you shot you down like that. You didn’t understand what he wanted.

Days went by and you kept walking by his house, hoping he would change his mind, but he was never outside on the porch to wave at you like he had been before. You knew he was home but simply didn’t want to talk to you. Maybe it was for the best, you thought. You shouldn’t let one boy change your mind on whether or not you wanted to have sex before marriage. Your parents would be proud.

One particular day, however, it was raining hard.

You held your backpack above your head as you ran and you faintly heard the bus driving down the street after you got off at your stop. Looking at the sky, you jumped when you heard thunder. As you sprinted across the street, stepping into various puddles as you did and soaking your socks and shoes, you stopped to see you were standing across the street from Jungkook’s house. The rain had stopped, so you lowered your backpack from over your head, and slowly crossed the street in silence.

In one puddle, you failed to notice there was a large tree branch and fell flat on your face. You let out a cry of pain and slowly pulled yourself to sitting on the back of your heels. Feeling your knee, you pulled your hand back to see you were bleeding, which really wasn’t what you needed at all.

“Ow…” you cried out and felt tears form in the corners of your eyes.

Using the back of your sleeve, you wiped at your eyes just as a single tear rolled down your cheek. You sniffled, but slowly stood to your feet and looked at where the branch had scraped against your skin. Some parts of the wound were deeper than others and you sighed to yourself.

Then you heard a front door opening.

Your head snapped up to see none other than Jungkook jogging down the steps with a hoodie over his head, then stopping in front of you. His eyes trailed down to the wound on your thigh, grimacing.

“Shit,” he muttered. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” you answered, pulling down your skirt. You moved to take a step back but faltered slightly. Jungkook’s arm wrapped around your shoulder at that, leading you to his front porch.

“Come on,” he said quietly, and you let him.

Closing the front door, he walked you over to his couch. Your hair was soaking wet from the rain and you left tiny puddles of water behind you on the hardwood floor of his entryway. He jogged up the stairs, telling you he was going to get you a towel, and returned less than a minute later. The couch sank from his weight when he sat next to you and he went to wrap the towel around you, ruffling your hair in an attempt to dry it. He laughed quietly to himself when he squished your cheeks together, your lips puckering cutely.

“How bad was it out there?” he asked, smiling warmly at you.

“It wasn’t that bad until ten minutes ago,” you answered, taking the towel from his hands. “I had just got off the bus when it started to rain, though. And then it was thundering, too.”

“That sucks,” he supplied. “You can stay here until it stops, if you want.”

You didn’t tell him that it’d already stopped, using the excuse that it would just start raining again if you left straight away.

“T-Thank you.”

You scratched at your leg and his eyes followed the movement, remembering you fell outside.

“Does that hurt?” he asked, looking at your thigh.

“A l-little bit,” you stuttered as you felt him staring at you.

“I got some band-aids. Maybe that’ll help,” he told you, then disappeared up the stairs again.

You listened to the sound of him walking around upstairs, the floorboards creaking beneath his weight. Glancing around his house, your eyes fell onto the television across the coffee table. Jungkook must’ve been watching something before he invited you inside. Although you’d been in his house twice already, it felt smaller when you knew it was just the two of you inside, unless his roommates were home, too. Sucking in a deep breath, you fidgeted with the hem of your skirt, running a finger down the scratch on your leg. It would scab over eventually, so maybe you didn’t need a band-aid—not that a band-aid would even help since you would need a lot of them to even cover your wound. You pulled out your phone from the pocket inside your backpack, thankful you didn’t simply keep it in your back jean pocket because of the rain.

You looked terrible.

Your hair was a mess and already frizzy from the heat. Your mascara wasn’t waterproof so it was a big, black mess under your eyes. You didn’t even know where to start so you just put your phone away, sighing to yourself. Maybe you shouldn’t have come inside and just went home. You only lived two houses away in the first place. Why did you even agree to come inside at all?

Deep down, you already knew the answer.

At the sound of him running down the stairs, you looked over the back of the couch. He held a wad of band-aids in his right hand, the other holding a hand towel.

“I’m back,” he said with a grin.

He sat next to you on the couch again, but then realized it would be an awkward angle. Noticing his discomfort, you turned so that you were facing him and lifted one of your legs onto the cushion. This gave him the perfect view up your skirt and he slowly tugged it down to cover you.

Taking the hand towel, he rubbed down your thigh and you closed your eyes at that. He must’ve soaked it in warm water because it felt very soothing on your bare skin. When you opened your eyes, you couldn’t look away from him as he continued to rub calming circular motions into your skin with his hand. His hair had fallen into his eyes and you wanted more than anything to run your fingers through his hair. The hand that wasn’t holding the towel was also caressing the skin on your other thigh. You wondered if he knew he was doing that but didn’t want him to stop, so you kept your mouth shut.

“Good?” he asked with a laugh when your head fell against the back of the couch, eyes closing in complete submission.

He grabbed onto your angled leg that wasn’t injured, straightening it so your foot was resting between him and the back of the couch. Placing the hand towel on the coffee table, he stared at your wound.

“Shit,” he groaned. “This must hurt a lot. What the hell did you do to yourself?”

“I, uh… I fell into a puddle. There was this giant tree branch there and it got me good, I guess.”

He laughed out loud at that, pulling a fist to his mouth as he did. You couldn’t help but smile back, glad that someone found it funny. Although, it was kind of ridiculous so maybe you did, too. He had the most beautiful laugh, like music to your ears. You knew he could make you smile just the sound of his laughter.

“I thought I told you to watch where you’re going,” he said with a playful smile.

You’d been watching his hand as it gripped your upper thigh, but then your head snapped up to look at him when he said that. He had said something like that back when he followed you off the bus.

He didn’t seem to remember, though, so you said quietly, “Sorry… I was kind of in a hurry to get home.”

“Nah. If it was me, I would’ve wiped out so much harder.”

The two of you smiled at each other for a moment, and then he glanced back down at your thigh. Your wound went even under your skirt and you could tell he wanted to ask you if he could move it but also didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. Maybe he didn’t want you to get any ideas after what happened at his party. You had basically thrown yourself at him, after all.

You pulled at your skirt, not so much to reveal your underwear but enough to see the rest of your wound. Your eyes widened, not realizing it went so far up your thigh. Jungkook looked at the band-aids he placed on the coffee table for a moment, then said, “We’re going to need some more band-aids.”

He went to move off the couch, but you grabbed his arm. “It’s okay! I’ll be fine, but thank you.”

Slowly, he relaxed back into the couch, your hand still grasping onto his arm. You didn’t let go of him and he noticed as he stared at your hand.

“Jungkook,” you said in a small voice. “Why didn’t you want to have sex with me? Is there something wrong with me?”

His eyes widened at that, not expecting those words to come out of your mouth at all. Were you crazy? Had you been listening to him at all?

“Maybe you forgot but I seem to remember having a fucking monologue about how much I want to have sex with you,” he said with a laugh but scooted away from you on the couch. “There’s nothing wrong with you. Don’t say that.”

Your hand dropped into your lap when he pulled away. “Then why did you not want to last week?”

“I told you. I don’t want you to make a mistake. What we would be doing would only be physical, and you deserve so much more than that,” he said softly.

“Why do you keep deciding things for me like I’m a child?”

You stood up, pulling your leg out from him and the couch. Grabbing your backpack leant against the coffee table, you placed its straps on your shoulders and pulled back your hair, heading for the door.

Instead of sitting there like you expected him to, he followed after you and placed a hand on the door when you went to open it. You jumped back, surprised, and clutched your hands to your chest. He closed his eyes, then opened them slowly, his pupils dilated with what appeared to be raw need.

“You’re not making things easy for me.”

“I don’t… I don’t understand you at all, Jungkook. You’ll have sex with all these other girls but you won’t with me. Why am I so different? Is it because I’m inexperienced?” you asked, crossing your arms.

“You’re special.”

“Special?”

“I don’t want to just fuck you. I was going to… I was going to ask you out that night but I— I don’t— I stopped inviting them over and haven’t had sex for two weeks now. I wanted to do this right.”

You closed your mouth, all the words on the tip of your tongue fading into the air. He was going to ask you out? Why didn’t he?

“I like you so much that it drives me crazy.”

“I like you, too,” you said quietly, “but you seem to think I’m this good girl that isn’t deserving of anybody. You’re not my father or my brother or— Maybe you were right about me when we first met but… I’m attracted to you, too, and it wouldn’t be a mistake if we had sex right now. I promise you it wouldn’t be a mistake.”

Your backpack straps began to slip down the length of your arms and you let it fall to the ground with a thud. Taking a step closer, you lifted up your skirt and grabbed one of Jungkook’s hands. Without losing your nerve, you placed it over your drenched underwear and his eyes went wide.

“I want you, Jungkook.”

His head fell against the door, closing his eyes in almost defeat. He groaned out loud, cursing to himself. He grabbed your arm and pulled you against him.

“I’m going to fuck you so hard.”

And then he was turning you around, pressing you into the door. His hands blindly pulled at the hem of your skirt, it pooling around your ankles a second later. He pressed his chest firmly against your back with him breathing heavily into your neck. You could feel his erection against you and sighed.

It was such a relief for you when he slipped his hand into your underwear.

“You’re fucking drenched,” he whispered into your ear, then licked the shell of your ear. “You don’t even need foreplay, do you?”

You wiggled your hips against his crotch in confirmation and he groaned at that.

“Fucking humor me, though, will you?”

And then his fingers were rubbing furiously at your sweet spot in a circular motion. Your head began to spin as you thought he knew exactly where to touch you. Thinking back to when you masturbated to him fucking you, you realized it felt so much better having someone else touch you. Your hips ground against him each time he gently pinched you in a certain spot and you exhaled shakily, enough to fog the door’s glass panels. You looked to his porch and saw two kids playing football across the street and panicked. Could they see what the two of you were doing right now?

“It feels good, doesn’t it?” he suddenly asked, then pushed you more into the door, giving you no room to move away. “That someone could see you, see my fingers fucking into your pussy. You want them to see us, don’t you?”

You closed your eyes and moaned loudly at his crude words, not willing yourself to agree with him out loud but knowing he was right.

“But we’re not going to give them a show—at least not today.”

Then he was pulling you away from the door without taking his fingers out of your underwear. He rubbed you even as he walked you over to the dining room table, then bent you over. Just as one of his fingers went to your entrance, he pulled it out of you, sucking the digit into his mouth slowly.

“Is this what you wanted?” he asked you, smoothing his hands over the skin on your back. Pushing up your shirt, he began to lick and kiss at the skin there before tugging at your underwear. “Huh?”

You heard him undoing his belt buckle, then his jeans fell to the floor a second later. You didn’t hear him pulling down his boxers and realized with a low moan from the back of your throat he hadn’t been wearing any. Your underwear was still around your heel, but he didn’t seem to care. You looked over your shoulder at him to see him looking down at you with a smirk on his face as he stroked himself, then bit your lip when he rolled a condom over the shaft. With each fast movement of his hand up and down his cock, he made sure the condom was secure before he grabbed your hip, using his other hand to guide himself into you slowly. It already felt bigger than your fingers and you groaned, but it wasn’t an unwelcome stretch. He was so thick that even the tip was stroking your walls, leaving no room for even one of his fingers. After the head of his cock was inside of you, he moved his hand away to grip the other side of your hip and thrusted himself forward to slide into you the rest of the way.

Your mouth fell open in a silent moan, fingers clenching and unclenching at the feeling. He wasn’t moving but you couldn’t form a single competent sentence, amazed at the feeling of him inside of you. There was a small spark deep within you that seemed to flicker on just by the thrust of his hips.

“You okay?” he asked after he stopped moving, rubbing circles in your hips.

You nodded at that and that was all he needed to finally start pounding into you. Moaning into the table, your nails scratched at the wood. You started to press yourself back against him and not just lay there while he fucked you, and then he was pressing down on your back.

“Curve your back downwards,” he whispered into your ear, and you did exactly that.

Almost immediately, you moaned out loudly as you could feel him brushing against a spot inside of you that had you seeing stars. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head and he was grunting as his hips smacked against your ass, the sound of skin slapping against skin filling the room. He kept changing the pace—from fast pumps to deep thrusts.

“Can we…” you breathed as he kept hitting that spot inside of you. “Can we move to the couch?”

He didn’t answer you, but simply pulled you against him. Pulling out of you with a wet squelch, you whined lowly, but then he was turning you around and kissing you so hard that you could feel your lips begin to bruise. Your lips were tingling as he pulled away but then his lips brushed against your own again.

“Arms up,” he growled into your mouth, then kissed your bottom lip.

You lifted your arms and he easily pulled your shirt over your head, then reached behind you to undo your bra. At the sight of your bare chest, he cursed to himself, then walked himself backwards and pulled you with him to keep kissing you until you both toppled over onto the couch. He flipped you over onto your back, your hair framing your face beautifully. His eyes softened at that and he settled himself on top of you, kissing your neck, the shell of your ear, until he reached your chest. His tongue swirled around one of your nipples and you moaned loudly, cradling his head to your chest, then he was giving the same attention to your other nipple.

His hand reached down to firmly grasp himself and slip back into you, the both of you moaning in unison. Your underwear was still wrapped around one of your feet somehow and he ran his other hand that was rolling your nipple between his thumb and forefinger down your stomach torturously slow and to your leg to grab the delicate fabric and toss it somewhere behind him. Then, he was smoothing his hand back up your leg to wrap it around his waist, anchoring you to him. On instinct, you wrapped your other leg around him and he started to hit that same spot he was hitting when you were bent over on the dining room table. You twitched in pleasure and he caught that, smiling down at you.

Your hands bunched the fabric of his t-shirt around his hips, dragging it upwards until he pulled it the rest of the way off and threw it in the same general direction as your underwear.

“You’re always so cute, even like this,” he whispered against your mouth when he leaned down to kiss you, wrapping his arms around your back to pull you up so you were sitting in his lap. Thrusting into you from below with fast strokes, your head fell back and your lips disconnected. The hands at your back kept you from falling over, then slipped to hold your ass cheeks in his hands.

You moaned loudly, then found his lips again blindly, breathing into his mouth, “This feels s-so g-g-good, Jungkook.”

“Yeah?” he asked, licking and biting at your swollen lips.

“You’re so big and…” you started to say, then your mouth opened into a silent scream when he gave a deep thrust in appreciation. “You’re getting to places even m-my fingers couldn’t r-reach. I can feel you in my t-throat.”

“Your fingers, huh?”

Your eyes snapped open at that, realizing you just admitted you masturbated out loud. Instead of asking you to go into more detail, he started thrusting into you even faster and your breasts bounced with each movement of his hips.

“H-Harder,” you managed to whisper in a hoarse voice.

Instead of saying anything, he obeyed you and you ran your fingers through his hair, your nails digging into his scalp. You glanced down at where he disappeared inside you with each thrust, whimpering at the sight. His hips were a blurred movement and you felt like he was impaling you on his cock. That spark you felt the moment he thrusted into you felt like it was about to explode any second. He growled into your mouth but kept going at the same pace, your moans urging him to go even faster. You could feel yourself almost reach your peak, but then he was spurting his cum once, twice, three times into the latex condom.

You whined when he pulled out of you, then felt him moving further down the couch to pull you by the back of your legs so his face was inches from your vagina. He looked up at you, as if asking if you were okay with this, and you nodded frantically. He chuckled and it vibrated against you, still sensitive from how hard he’d been fucking into you just minutes ago. He licked an experimental strip from the bottom of you all the way to where your lips met, sucking your bundle of nerves between his lips. You’d been so close already that you knew it wouldn’t take you long to reach your first orgasm.

One of your hands fell back against the arm of the couch and gripped it tightly. When he added in a finger and started pushing it in and out of you at a slow yet deep pace, you arched your back. He alternated from using his fingers to penetrate you and circle your clit. Your hips began to grind against his face, whispering desperately for him to go faster, to go harder.

Your legs closed instinctively when the hot feeling inside of you felt like it was about to burst, having never orgasmed before. It made you want him to stop but have him keep going at the same time. He easily pried your legs apart and held them there as he went back to using his tongue instead of his fingers. You couldn’t control yourself as you kept moaning—and loudly, at that.

And then you were coming apart on his tongue.

He pulled back with your cum coating his chin, then wiped it off with the back of his hand. After a few seconds, your eyes opened tiredly, beaming up at him.

“Did you…” you tried to ask, but were panting too heavily. “Did you mean… what you said?”

He stood up and removed the condom, throwing it into the trash. Pulling your spent form up so that he could situate you between him and the back of the couch, you stared at each other happily.

“You’re going to have to be a little more specific,” he said with a soft laugh.

“About…” you trailed off and your fingers danced across the skin of his sweaty chest. The fringe that always fell in his eyes was matted to his forehead but you could feel a bead of sweat dripping down the side of your face, too. He looked into your eyes, curling you more into your chest. “…going out with me?”

“You’re so fucking cute, you know that?” he whispered, pecking your lips once, then another before he pulled away. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“I don’t know. I just didn’t think you’d want a relationship with me and just wanted to…” You hesitated, then continued, “fuck.”

He sat up slightly. “Let me just remind you that this happened because of you. I wanted to wait but you practically threw yourself at me and gave me no choice but to give into your demands.”

Your cheeks burned at that, then you were shoving at his chest. “That’s not—! I didn’t throw myself at yo— Fine, maybe I did, but who was the one who followed me into a bathroom just to tell me how badly he wanted to fuck me, huh? I seem to remember that was you.”

“Say fuck just one more time,” he said, and you sat up, rolling your eyes.

“Why? You say it enough for the both of us.”

He laughed but didn’t push you any further. Standing to his feet, he offered you the palm of his hand and you accepted it. You looked around for your underwear, then walked over to it in a pile with his jeans and boxers. Just as you started to slide them up your legs, however, he stopped you.

“Take those panties off right now.”

You paused, the delicate fabric halfway up your thighs, and looked over at him in surprise. Did he want to… Already?

“Not for that, but you should try living the exhibitionist lifestyle,” he said with a grin. “Feel how freeing it is. Walk with me.”

When you didn’t move, he picked you up and threw you over his shoulder, tossing your panties behind him once again. You pounded your fists against his back but not with any force behind them. He just laughed and you felt the vibrations, smiling into his bare back.

“So, I’m thinking we go to a drive-in theater tomorrow.”

You perked up at that as he set you down on the kitchen counter. “Really? I love the movies.”

“That’s nice but we’re not going there to see a movie,” he said with a sly grin.

“We’re not going to be driving there naked, are we?”

He moved to take some lunch meat out of the fridge along with some mayonnaise, then went through the cabinets overhead to pull out some white bread. When he dug a butterknife out of one of the drawers, you hopped off the counter and poked at his cheek.

“We’re not, right?” you asked again, but he ignored you. “Jungkook?!”

And that’s when one of his roommates walked in. He let out a sound of protest when one of his shoes kicked at your skirt by the front door, then his eyes fell onto your naked figures arguing in the kitchen.

“FOR FUCK’S SAKE, JUNGKOOK!” he yelled, dropping his backpack to the floor with a thud. “How many fucking times do I have to tell you to put some clothes on—?! Who is sh— I’m going back on campus. I hate you all.”

1K notes · View notes

carterhaughs · 8 years ago

Note

Have you ever read this article called "The Trial of Elizabeth Poldark"? You can find it on the Nerdalicious website.

I had never seen that but wow, what an excellent article! It cites all the passages - both in Warleggan and in later books - that show that what Ross did was rape, which he only fully acknowledges - and only in his own mind - by the very last book. “…in the very bedroom where he had taken Elizabeth against her will twenty-seven or more years ago, and so had started all this trouble, which had gone on so relentlessly and for so long.” And it also cites several passages - again both in Warleggan and in later books - where it’s shown that Demelza suspects what Ross did was rape - how could it be otherwise, given the violent mood he was in before he left? Any encounter that ensued was unlikely to be loving. In a later book, Ross advises Jeremy do to his lady love what Ross did to Elizabeth - which Jeremy thankfully does not go through with and Demelza has this to say: “What your father suggests. You cannot just “help yourself” to a woman. Even your father …’ Demelza paused, aware that Ross in fact had once done just that. ”

And the article does an excellent job of explaining the difference between the juxtaposition of the McNeil/Demela and Ross/Elizabeth encounters in the books - both of which, though in different ways, exemplify the tyranny of men over women. Yet on the show, the Ross/Elizabeth encounter is romanticized (though still very much rape in my opinion - coerced sex is not consensual sex - and Elizabeth expresses her feeling of violation by someone she loved and trusted by rightly saying that Ross has “taken what is not rightly his”). Meanwhile, the contrast with the McNeil/Demelza scene seems to create a disturbing comparison suggesting that this is how you “properly” resist rape and assault.

The television adaptation of these two scenes is telling. Ross’s masculinity is often emphasised in Poldark, and the scene where he breaks into Elizabeth’s home frames him towering in the doorway, brimming with strength and self-righteousness, rather than breaking in sneakily and climbing through a window as he does in the book. The music after he kicks the door down is silenced. While dramatic music plays during Ross and Elizabeth’s confrontation, it is nothing like the wholly sinister score that accompanies what was a slightly comical scene in the books, where a foppish and drunken McNeil crashes about the room pursuing Demelza, who later climbs out of a window in frustration when even more irrepressible ‘suitors’ attempt to breach her door. McNeil is portrayed as a far greater villain than Ross, yet it is McNeil who eventually leaves when he is told his advances are unwelcome. And when Demelza tells Ross of the incident later and how angry McNeil was Ross exclaims “My God! So I should think!”.

And they point out how Ross’ attitude towards women (along with basically every aspect of his character - let’s face it, he’s a static Gary Stu to whom no wrongdoing can attach for long) never changes in the books - like I said earlier, he doesn’t even acknowledge that what he did was a violation until the very last book, and never says so to Elizabeth even when she confronts him about it in earlier books.

Winston Graham never really suggested that readers should forgive Ross. Ross’s attitudes towards women remain largely unchanged as he ages.

As for Elizabeth, who was shown as quite capable in the face of adversity in the first season, her suddenly coming apart at the seams, her waiting for Ross at the expense of Demelza’s happiness and her manipulation at the hands of George Warleggan easily put her in a position to be despised. The heavy-handed reasoning for her to marry Warleggan is unnecessary. She accepts Warleggan’s proposal because he is wealthy and can provide for her beloved son, and save Geoffrey Charles’s ancestral home from ruin. Why should Elizabeth need any other reason to marry Warleggan? Ross’s reasoning that Elizabeth was a catch and could have any man she wanted is false. There are few who would want to take on a poverty-stricken widow mired in debt, with another man’s son and his crumbling castle to upkeep. As Elizabeth told Ross, she is her own mistress. That she vowed to be loyal to George to spite Ross just shows her depth of feeling at Ross’s betrayal.

Elizabeth Chynoweth has been on trial since 1953. It is time we took her word for what happened between her and Ross that night and accepted her decisions are her own to make.

I don’t completely agree with the statement that Elizabeth is “suddenly coming apart at the seams” in contrast with the very capable way she handles things in series 1 - she loses her husband and is left as the deeply indebted caretaker of an old woman and her vegetative mother as well as her son, and as the writer of the article states, was unlikely to be able to remarry and could easily be destitute were it not for George’s feelings for her. I think her position is deeply sympathetic, but it could have been handled better as the show often frames her situation as less dire than Demelza’s when it isn’t really. The show doesn’t always do that - but it does often. More carefully handling her mixed feelings and the expression of them in the wake of what Ross did to her would express this better - but ofc Ross’ rape can’t be explicitly acknowledged bc the show only wants him to be a hero. So we’ll have to settle for the “took what was not rightly his” line. Also re: her capitulating to George’s schemes - it’s also clear she marries him because she sees that his feelings are sincere and they’ve been friends for years, even if she doesn’t return his feelings. Perhaps she shouldn’t have trusted him, but his feelings are definitely real, if sometimes clumsily or unkindly expressed.

In any case, anon, thank you for sharing this with me. It’s good to see a book reader who is well aware of what really happened in the books and has the evidence to back it up - and also is keenly aware of the large differences between the books and the show - both in terms of how the characters are portrayed and in terms of this scene specifically. The article is definitely worth a read-through, for all of you who haven’t read it already. Over spring break I should have time to finally take all my notes on that scene and compile them into a final analysis of Elizabeth’s conception of herself as a thing to be possessed and how it affects her attitude towards what Ross did to her on the show - and this article will inform what I’ve already written myself.

#elizabeth poldark #tw rape #Anonymous #my poldark meta

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nct-thedreamchaser · 8 years ago

Text

Wedding Bells [Part 1]

Words: 2270

Genre: Fluff, LOTS of it

Pairing: Jaehyun x Reader

Request: hellu~ do you mind doing a super super fluffy jaehyun one bcs he sure is ruining my sleep with his cute ass face omg thankuuuu in advance 😍

A/N: Wew! This is a part of my request done and I know there isn’t much here but it’s always good to provide some context before we start eh? Don’t worry anon! The next chapter (or perhaps subsequent ones) would contain what you are looking for. :) For now, please enjoy this first chapter everyone! I suffered some form of Writer’s Block but I was so glad that this idea popped up in my head eventually. :) Once again, thank you for requesting! Click HERE to read the rules for requesting and feel free to submit and drop an ask!! :)

[Part 1] | [Part 2]

——————————————————————

“Y/N! Just a gentle reminder that you are walking down the aisle tomorrow! You will never believe it but I am so happy for you!!” My best friend chirped, grabbing my shoulders and shaking me like a rag doll with a huge grin on her face.

Indeed, it was my wedding day tomorrow and I was nowhere near excited for it, especially when I had no idea who my groom would be. In fact, I never knew, no matter how much I tried to scan through the database of my parents’ phones and computers when they were not looking. There were no pictures, no e-mails and simply, no leak of information about the man whom I was going to marry.

For some strange reason, preferred to keep it as a secret and only told me that my soon-to-be husband was rich, “drop dead gorgeous” (quoted from my very own mother) and the “nicest man that I could possibly know”. Obviously, that was probably the information that nobody wanted to truly hear in the context of an arranged marriage. It was probably everything a parent would say to convince that they had made the best decision for their child; confident that everything would work out just fine.

Sure, it could possibly be true, but then again, how would it be possible for two people to get married to each other without even knowing the other party? It was absolutely bizarre to think about the many possibilities, especially when I was the only one among my group of friends who got betrothed without my knowledge by my parents. Everyone had the choice of choosing their boyfriends, and eventually husbands, but for me? Nah, that did not exist in my world. There was never a guy who was good enough, for reasons as lame as him not having enough valuable assets, tangible (which was definitely the main reason) or intangible.

Who would ever forget the day 2 years ago, when my parents had finally returned from a business trip in Germany. I was so excited to see them back at home, and I was already a 23-year-old, behaving as if I was a 6-year-old getting her very first birthday present. For most of the time, my parents were never at home, and even if they were, it was only for a day or two, before they flew off again to carry on with their busy, mundane lives. Truthfully, I never agreed with the way my parents lived their lives, especially when it came to spending time as a family and catching up with one another.

Call me selfish, but in my personal opinion, it was completely understandable for a child to simply desire spending time with their parents, especially when they have not seen them for ages, and yes, I mean years. As a teenager, I never really thought much about it and was way too busy to even think about any of the matters which took place at home. However, I was an adult now, and it was again natural for me to worry about my parents, especially when they seemed uncontactable and for some strange reason, the huge bungalow of ours felt empty. In fact, it was as if our employees had outnumbered our employers, and it made people wonder whether I was actually a part of the employers. For the longest time ever.

Unfortunately, that was also the day when they had announced that I was going to be betrothed. My eyes were threatening to pop out of its own sockets and my jaw hung heavily, especially when I saw my mother’s beaming smile. At that point, I was probably beyond furious and this was not a matter of the weather forecast or the traffic news; it was my future on the line and it was of no clue to me why they would be so happy in the thought of selling their daughter away to a supposed rich man in order to gain profits and more good points to add to our family name.

“Are you crazy?” I shouted when I reached my breaking point, “I waited for you to come back for years now. You were not there for my first day of university, and neither were you there for my graduation in both high school and university. I suspect you probably don’t even know that I graduated a co-valedictorian and this is the news I get? That I’m betrothed to a man I have no clue about? You showed no care, no concern and only came home to talk about your new business ventures and prospects. Why bother now then?”

I remembered heading to my room and slammed the door in a fit of anger, before leaning it and slid down to the carpeted floor. Tears were cascading down my cheeks now and I tasted the saltiness of it as they flowed. It was the worst thing I had ever said to my parents, and I did feel the pang of guilt, but I was in no mood to think about defying all the laws of Confucian filial piety now.

An hour or two had probably passed, and I did not move from my position at the door. I stared into space in a daze; trying to get over the fact that I was going to get married when I was not even close to ready. Trust me, I tried to convince myself that this was for the best, I really did, but I just could not see the light at the end of the tunnel at that point.

I thought to myself that I was a pawn for my parents’ riches and successful ventures; like an object and a gift to the other more powerful CEOs and companies out there. There was no consult, no allowance, and they did what they wanted; find me a good husband and flooding me with information of his entire life story. There was no mood for me to show any care or concern anymore, knowing that the decision was final and all I could do was to suck it up and move on with my life.

However, there was a knock. Then two. And I got up, thinking that it was the maid, but I only came face to face with my mother. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, proceeding to close the door again, but she only said in a calm voice, “Look Y/N, I think we need to talk. Would you care for some mother and daughter time?”

Only the Almighty knows what came over me, but I moved aside and opened the door wider to let her in, before closing it again. The tension was so thick that one could possibly cut it with a knife, and the same went with the silence that ensued once she stepped in. She looked around my room, as if trying to recall all the happy moments that she could have possibly shared with me in the room.

“Take a seat and I will tell you a story. Come, sit here with me.” She said, making herself comfortable and patted the bed, signalling that I should sit with her instead of awkwardly standing around in her presence. I did, and waited for her to kickstart a conversation; something that we’ve never had for the past years. It was probably safer to use the word “decade” instead at this rate.

It followed with a few moments of awkward silence, but my mum finally opened up in a gentle and comforting manner. She had admitted to saying that my father and her never knew each other either, and were betrothed to one another earlier than I was. She was only 15 when it was announced that she was to marry a man at the age of 21, having no clue to who he was at all. According to her, the reactions and outbursts were completely normal, because that was the exact things she felt when she grew up. She grew cold and distant, refusing to open up to her parents when she felt as betrayed as ever.

Hearing that, it was like a similar situation all over again, and I was beyond surprised to hear that. You see, my mother was known for being gentle, calm and demure, and it was beyond my imagination to even think of her as someone who would actually go against her parents’ wishes. She could sense it, and only laughed at my reaction.

Later, it followed with the fact that she had only known my father on the day of their wedding, but also claimed that he did not force himself onto her. He was willing to wait for her to be ready, and besides, he felt the exact same way too; that they should get to know each other a lot better before they are officially known as husband and wife. And that was simply how my mother fell in love with him because he respected her, cared for her and accepted her, even if she just came from a relatively average family in our world.

Hence, it was with that when she encouraged me that everything was going to be alright. She also assured me later that unless the man was not willing to treat me the same way my father had treated her, she promised that she would not hesitate from calling it quits. Nevertheless, she encouraged me to give it a shot and gave my shoulder an encouraging squeeze with her signature smile.

So now I sat here, donned in a white wedding dress that my husband had apparently picked out for me. It was unlike no other, and was apparently custom made in Italy. Yes, it looked simple, but the embroidery was refined and very very well sewn together. It was intricate, and was donned with little Swarovski crystals sewed to the dress. Furthermore, it had a long train of fabric at the back to give it a grand effect, and of course, the look was not complete without a Grade A diamond necklace that my father had given, as well as a pair of silver stilettos from my in-laws to complement the dress.

No matter how anxious and unprepared I was, I could not help but admit that my in-laws had good taste. On the other hand, I relied on my best friend who was makeup artiste to do my hair and face, and I have no idea how she did it, but I looked absolutely stunning that I actually gave her a hug, only to be pushed away saying, “Don’t ruin my handiwork. I french-braided your hair and simply enhanced your looks so please do not do anything crazy that would ruin it before the actual event.”

I rolled my eyes and gave her a playful nudge, before she took the veil that I was going to put onto my hair. It was an ordinary veil, but again, it had the most intricate of embroidery and it was put on a flower crown. At this point, I probably looked like a Disney Princess in every disney movie wedding scene, but I could not thank my friend enough and I was willing to pay her for her services, support and everything that she had ever done for me.

She shook her head though, and only said in her usual sassy fashion, “I think you would need money for the baby that’s coming. But come on, you got this yeah?”

“Do you know the guy?” I asked quizzically, and she only gave me a huge smile. She grinned from ear to ear and her eyes became the shape of two crescent moons on her face.

“Of course I do. I have connections, so I found out pretty easily.” She shrugged before continuing, “I know, you are going to ask me who it is, but you can be sure as hell that I would not tell you anything.”

I sighed and rolled my eyes again for the nth time in the years of our friendship, and I began to give her the best pair of puppy eyes that I could muster. However, she was firm, fierce and was adamant in not telling me anything about the guy. She obviously knew way more than I did, and by the looks of it, I was going nowhere with my pleading and convincing.

“Why are you even worried anyway? I can safely say that he is a great guy.” She said as she added the final touches to my look and made sure that everything was in its place.

“How are you so sure?” I asked, watching her furrow her brows and stick out her tongue, fixing all the nitty gritty details that she could spot with her naked eye.

“That’s simple. But you owe me something because this is a huge hint that I’m divulging.”

“Fine, just tell me already!!” I said, impatience evident in my tone of voice.

“It’s someone you know, and trust me, you’ve seen him before. He’s literally an angel and is claimed by you to be your ‘soulmate’.”

At this point, my mind froze and it seemed to be trying its best to look through my memory bank. I scratched my head in confusion and squinted, only to be smacked in the hand by her, with a nagging that I had ruined my own hair again.

It was at this point when there was only one possible name which could possibly surface. Crazy, it sounded, but it was a possibility.

And his name was Jaehyun.

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heartsoftruth · 8 years ago

Note

1- i don't think anybody cares for my opinion of brumar which is why i've never shared my thoughts when they first got back together but now a few months later i just have to share my observation because i'm not freaking blind and have seen the way millions of high school couples act and that's literally neymar and bruna. i'm gonna start this off by saying i don't understand why everyone takes brumar so seriously they're not nearly as in love as they paint themselves out to be on social media.

2- flashback to 2014 when they were dating for two years, now that’s a long as fuck time to get really attached to someone and be sad about a breakup but neither of them cared after they ended things? bruna was literally dating someone else within a span of a few months and neymar didn’t care at all about ending his relationship because at that time he’d rather spend his time being single. this is obvious because he literally said he didn’t want to marry her right before they broke up and then

Anonymous said:3- during that same week of their breakup continued to party with other women and has basically lived his bachelor lifestyle up to it’s full potential since then. point blank is neither of them were heartbroken enough to even try and see each other in a whole ass 2 years they were perfectly content with their lives without the other in it. then flashback to last summer neymar never stops complaining about being single and oh shit look at that a few months later he’s back with bruna. so to sum

4- things up neymar first dumped her because he didn’t want a serious relationship anymore then picked her back up when he wanted one. if you can keep bringing back then dropping that same person out of your life so easily you’re not dating them because you’re fucking in love with them you’re dating them just so you can say you’re dating somebody. their nonstop posts about each other further proves this observation. painting together? out at the movies? hanging out with friends? just finished

5- eating? POST ABOUT EACH OTHER POST ABOUT EACH OTHER POST ABOUT EACH OTHER!!! they post about EVERYTHING that they do together. now from my personal experience the realeast relationships last because you and that one person have a special bond together and your memories are for YOU not the entire damn planet. neymar and bruna are the definition of a couple that is only together so they can flex for the gram. what is their relationship without social media honestly? you’re at a party with your

6- friends and the first thing you can think of is “hey rafinha stand in this video while bruna kisses me so everyone can see i have a girlfriend and you don’t” see what i mean by a highschool relationship? like who does that? i’m sure he didn’t mean to make fun of rafinha but my point is that neymar and bruna’s relationship literally only survives on the mere fact that people talk and are interested in THEIR private life. if you’re so in love then be together and enjoy each other’s company

7- instead of being so bored out of your damn minds together that you have to post about everything you do together then spend the next hour watching your fans post about it on instagram. other people might take them seriously because she speaks to his parents and he called her his wife but every other 17 year old and their significant other literally does the same thing. i don’t think that they will last and hell if they get married it’s literally going to be because neymar is out here having

8- a midlife crisis and thinks he’ll be too old if he doesn’t have another kid by the time he’s 25 not because bruna is his reoccuring soulmate lol. if she was he wouldn’t have been able to drop her out of his life so quickly in the first place. and i know the only reason he is moving so fast with her is because he’s acting like he’s already way too old to start all over with someone new which is just ridiculous but i think it’s obvious that is what he thinks. sorry this is so long i just wanted

9- to share my observation on why i think these two are together for all the wrong reasons but i guess not everyone has morals when it comes to why they want someone as their wife/husband. all i’m saying is you could never catch me going back to my ex after he exfoliated me, fucked a bunch of other women, then decided it’s my turn to come back because he’s ready to settle down foh with that.

___________Ooooo, my anon friend! you went offfff!! You actually have some very good points and said some interesting things.

I do really agree with the Insta posts etc. I also think keep those intimate moments private and something for you both to cherish. On the other hand Neymar is one who likes to post SO MUCH about his private life that its also something I kinda expected from him. Like what you said at 6 was indeed also my reaction, but thats why I also said with guys its different. Because if I did that to a friend or a friends with me I/she would be pissed af. But guys probably laugh at it and are over it in a second where us girls are agree for a week/month xD.

I think the my wife comment was more my wifey or my women. Not wife, but I get what you mean. But we all know Ney acts very young at times you know. And he likes those typical cheesy things and quotes etc.

8: is also interesting and something I never thought of tbh. I hope he doenst think of himself as too old. Would be ridiculous at 25, but probably bc all his teammates (and most footballers) already settled down at that age��

Dont be sorry for sharing your observations! They are very interesting! seriously! You made me think about a few things. And maybe my reply to you is short, but I’m defiantly thinking about the points you made in your observations.

#anonymous

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deadgwen · 8 years ago

Text

IT IS A HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY TO THE BEST GOAT

@fucshias @jiilys MY LOVE GOATY. MY MOST BEAUTIFUL GOAT. MY SUN. MY STARS. MY BEAUTIFUL HOOVED CREATURE OF GOD. I HAVE ARRIVED TO SAY SOME IMPORTANT THINGS BUT FIRSTLY I LOVE YOU I LOVE I LOVE YOU U R READING THIS POST RIGHT NOW DUE TO A VERY IMPORTANT REASON AND THIS IMPORTANT REASON IS THAT

*CHOKES BACK TEARS*

IT IS UR BIRTHDAY.

*SCREAMING*

OK OKI DOKI BEFORE I START: I AM NOT ACTUALLY HERE BUT DO NOT BE D I S E N H E AR T E N E D BC I JUST DONT HAVE WIFI BUT I PROMISE U SOMEWHERE OUT THERE I AM SULKING AND FIGHTING A WALL AND ALSO SETTING OFF FIREWORKS BC !!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS UR FUCKING DAY AND IM SORRY I COULD NOT WISH U BUT I LOVE U SO SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH I AM HERE W/ U IN SPIRIT

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT TURN THE FUCK UP HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY TO MY LOVE HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U UR EXCELLENT AND I LOVE YOU AND ALSO WHAT THE FUCK BINCH HOW ARE U SEVENTEEN TODAY U ASSHOLE (COPYRIGHT U KNOW WHO) WHO ALLOWED U TO BE LIKE THIS AND ALSO I LOVE YOU. AND ALSO I CANT BELIEVE UVE DONE THIS. UR LITERALLY SEVENTEEN TODAY I AM NOT ALRIGHT AND I NEED U TO HOLD ME BECAUSE I AM GOING TO COME OVER AND FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF BEING A DRAMATIC BITCH I WILL FAINT IN UR ARMS I AM 100% NOT ALRIGHT

like,,,, HONESTLY u are so. fucking. great. WHERE DO I EVEN START.

FIRST AND FOREMOST I WANNA SAY I AM SO FUCKING EXCITED FOR THIS FOR UR BDAY I LOVE YOU GOATY I AM SO PUMPED THAT UR SO OLD ITS RIDICULOUS @ ME FUCK OFF ALRIGHT BUT. JUST. I LOVE I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY U GOAT UR BEYOND INCREDIBLE

UR OFFICIALLY A DANCING QUEEN UR YOUNG AND SWEET. ONLY. *SMASHES OPEN MY WINDOW AT 12 MIDNIGHT* SEVENTEEEEEEEEEEEEEN

SO OH MY GOD. I AM CURRENTLY YELLING BECAUSE??????????? LIKE???????????????? YOU'RE SEVENTEEN??????? HOW DID WE EVEN COME TO THIS POINT ITS INSANE LIKE HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU SEVENTEEN WE'RE ALL JUST STILL TINY SMOLS WHERE ARE U GOING WHY ARE U GROWING OLDER STOP IT PLS ALRITE I DO NOT LIKE. MY PRECIOUS GOAT SUNSHINE WHO IS A PROFESSIONAL PAJAMA CONSULTANT A REAL SOLID BUSINESSWOMAN WHO DRIVES AND SHIT AND COULD PROBABLY RUN ME OVER AND IS 6'3 SO IF U WOULD SIT ON ME I WOULD MOST CERTAINLY DIE UR OFFICIALLY A DANCING QUEEN AND I AM CRYING

but in all seriousness I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU i am FOREVER AND EVER glad that i met u LIKE I FUCKIN HATE U GODMDAN FUCKIBG GOAT MAKING ME REBLOG THIGNS FUCK YUO FUCK O FF but like????? apart from that UR FUCKING BEYOND FABULOUS and i have decided to compile a list of reasons why u are unbelievably great and have earned ur title of being a dancing queen/brilliant goat/actual love of my life. bc u are excellent. AND IT MUST BE WRITTEN OUT HERE SOMEWHERE THAT I LOVE YOU.

OK OK OK SO HERE WE GO BINCHES. PREPARE URSELF. THIS IS GONNA BE SUPER LENGTHY BECAUSE I LOVE YOU A LOT AND I AM GONNA DO A 'ON THE JELLICOE ROAD' WORTHY REVIEW OF U BUT LIKE A SHITTIER VERSION SO U BETTER FUNKIN BUCKLE UP BITCH

LEZGO:

IS OBVIOSULY FABULOUS

IS A REAL LIFE GIRAFFE

WE ARE BLESSED TO HAVE ONE ROAM OUT OF CAPTIVITY LIKE............. WE ARE STRONGLY BLESSED

I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH

CLAIMS TO HAVE 'barely any leg but a huge torso' and interpret this how u want bUT i just wanna say u r the most fucked up giraffe ever ok what the fuck WHO HURT YOU

apparently dis binch owns a bunny AND NEVER TOLD ME SHE DID

owns a problematic rabbit bc it pees everywhere

said problematic rabbit likes to pee everywhere so much its ridiculous it has no respect for the value of items of modern society and thus in my opinion should be sent to COURT

@ rabbit U NASTY OK PLS GET UR PRIORITIES SORTED???? THIS HAS BEEN A MOTHERFUCKING PSA THANK U (CAROLINE I AM TRUSTING YOU TO SHOW THIS ON UR PHONE TO THE GODDAMN BUNNY I NEED IT TO KNOW)

is 100% excellent at looking after drunk people ALRITE literally THIS WOMAN IS A SAINT who has saved REAL LIVES tbh where would that poor child from your old intermediate be if u hadn't SAVED HIS ENTIRE LIFE from all that tequila he would DEAD thats fuKCIN RIGHT U DESERVE ALL THE MEDALS A TRUE HERO AMONG NEW ZEALANDERS. A NATIONAL ICON. SO BRAVE I AM SO PROUD I LOVE YOU ALWAYS

AND ALSO PULLING DRUNK MAKING OUT PEOPLE OFF EACH OTHER I JUST WANT U TO KNOW THAT UR EFFORTS ARE SO VERY RECOGNIZED BECAUSE ONE TIME I DID THAT AND I GOT PUNCHED IN THE THROAT I THOUGHT I DIED BECAUSE I SAW JESUS BUT IT WASNT ACTUALLY JESUS IT WAS JUST A POSTER TAPED TO A FRIDGE I WAS SCAMMED

her own mum has called the police on her and was 100% ready for some quality fun family jailtime

ALSO ONE TIME GOATY ACCIDENTALLY FUCKED UP SOMEONES REAR MIRROR AND THE VICTIMS OF THE INCIDENT DID NOT GIVE HALF A FUCK HOWEVER, HER MOTHER GOATY REPORTED SEVERAL FUCKS TO THE POLICE AND FILED AN ACCIDENT REPORT AND THAT WAS THE DAY MY GOATY BECAME A DARK CRIMINAL

*OMINOUS MUSIC*

I AM STILL WAITING FOR THE DAY I WALK MY BUTT INTO COURT AGAINST UR MUM COVERED HEAD TO ASS IN $3 PLASTIC BRACELETS BACKED BY UR UNEXPECTEDLY KLEPTOMANIAC SISTER AND A BASKET OF STOLEN WOMANS DAYS AND ALONG WITH BLING BLING JIMMY WE WILL RESTORE THE RIGHTEOUSNESS AND LACK OF CONSCIENCE ON THIS LOVELY EARTH

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ENOUGHT ABOUT UR MUM LIKE ACTUALLY ALL UR FAMILY MEMBERS ARE DIFFERENT LEVELS OF WILD AND..... I AM AFRAID

OK OK IT MUST BE SAID CAROLINE HAS THE MOST AMAIZNG VOICE ????? EVER

like i love her voice sm SO FUCKING MUCH I TELL U i have never heard anything like it and i want caroline to like read me books for hours AND HOURS AND NARRATE MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE because i love how unusually deep and shadowy her voice sounds like deep flowing river water or smth like i LOVE IT SO MUCH it. Is.So. Strange BUT I LOVE IT IT IS THE COOLEST GODDAMN THING THROW A BUCKET AT ME I LOVE YOU

HAS A VIDEO OF HERSELF DOING THE ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE AND I KNOW I HAVE PRAISED IT FOR TWO YEARS IN A ROW ALREADY LIKE @ ME PLZ CHILL BUT i will not i will NEVER it is solid entertainment a+++ QUALITY I AM LAUGHIGN IM LAUGHING I AM LAUGHING FOREVER those beautiful hops of pain across ur backyard ARE THE LAST THINGS I WANT TO SEE BEFORE GOD TAKES ME FROM THIS EARTH

WRONGFULLY FRAMED ME FOR HAVING SHIT DICK TENDENCIES AND THEN YELLED AT ME AND CALLED ME A GARAGE WHAT A BINCH I AM IN LOVE

loves yellow flowers AND ALL THE FLOWERS AND HEAVY ROSES AND IS A FULL OUT FLOWER HOE

IS DESPICABLE TEEN WOLF GARBAGE LIKE.... ive been scrolling through our fanmails AND MY HEART HUR T S G O A T Y hOld mE we were sO Y O U N G and like no lie i shit u not 80% oF THE FUCKING MESSAGES ARE U YELLING 'STYDIA IS GONNA HAPPEN THIS SEASON' AND 'OH MY GOD DID U SEE THAT STYDIA SCENE' AND DECLARATIONS OF LOVE FOR LYDIA MARTIN AND THE OTHER 20% IS U ASKIN ME IF IVE SEEN THE NEW TEEN WOLF I LOVE IT I LOVE YOU I AM SORRY TEEN WOLF KEEPS DISAPPOINTING US BOTH BUT STDYIA IS. DEFINIETELY. GONNA. HAPPEN. THIS. SEASON. IT HAS TO OR I WILL FUKIN FITE ALRIGHT GIVE US STYDIA OR GIVE US DEATH I LOVE UR TEEN WOLF LOVIBG ASS

anyway caroline is an utterly excellent person

if u were an ncea paper i would grade u with excellence

*FINGER GUNS*

like ?????deals with my stupid yelling ALL THE TIME

whenever i had a problem and went to my goaty she was so very understanding and patient AND DID NOT CALL ME A DUMBASS WHEN I DESERVED TO BE DECKED

TOLD ME THE TRU DEFINTION OF THE PHRASE 'SHOT'

TWO YEARS OF UTTER CONFUSION. ERASED FROM MY LIFE. PERMANENTLY.

MY SKIN?? CLEARED . MY FUTURE BILLS ??? PAID MY HUSBAND MARRIED MY STATUE FOR CAROLINE FULLY ERECTED

ok but like i can never say this enough goaty IS SO NICE TO TALK TO PLETAHE TALK TO ME FORVER SHE IS FABULOUS??? it blows my mind constantly that someone this incredible and special walks along this earth NONE OF US DESERVE THE GOAT

also ???? WHAT IN THE FUCK HOW HAVE I NOT MENTIONED THIS YET CAROLINE IS THE BEST WRITER I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE SHE IS SO TALENTED EVERY TIME I READ ONE OF HER FICS I END UP THINKING ABOUT IT AFTERWARDS FOR 958495894 YEARS ALRIGHT THEY FUCK ME UP THEY WAY SHE HANDLES WORDS FUCKS ME UP HOW CAN YOUT TAKE FUCKING LETTERS AND THEN SHOVE THEM UP MY ASS LIKE THIS I AM NOT ALRIGHT I AM NOT ALRIGHT I AM NOT ALRIGHT I am Not Strong Enough For This

i am not even kidding ok THE WAY U HANDLE WORDS IS IN.FUCKING.CREDIBLE whenever u use them its like?? u turned them into something precious and all your writing have this feel to it like as if im holding a delicate bouqet of a thousand yellow flowers like im holding a butterfly in my hands like im holding a box of eggs and i am scared shitless to drop it bC MY DAD WILL PERSONALLY CRUCIFY ME

I AM AWFUL AT DESCRIPTIONS BUT I HOPE U SEE WHAT I MEAN. LIKE. IT IS SO *SCREAMS* MINBLOWING DECK ME WITH ALL UR WORDS EVER

I AM ONE HUNDRED FUCKING PERCENT NEVER OKAY WITH ANYTHING YOU WRITE IT HURTS SO GOOD AND I LOVE IT

ok ok this hoe right here has written THREE fics with a dedication for me at the beginning and like.............. ..... do u ever just cri

i have 'the glorious everywhere' printed out and FUCKING PINNED TO MY WALL WHERE I CAN SEE IT FROM ALL CORNERS OF MY ROOM ALWAYS back in my apartment in russia like it is legitimately the best thing. i love everything about this piece it should be adapted into a novel or a short film like PULL SOME FIFTY SHADES OF GREY SHIT W/ IT OK the imagery and REALNESS of this fic gets to me all the time and im crying im crying im crying I ABSOLUTELY ADORE IT PLS @ CAROLINE WHY ARE U SO TALENT

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT LOOK AT THIS BULLSHIT FUCKIG I THINK ABOUT THIS FIC EVERY SINGLE DAY WHEN I WAKE UP FUCKING LOOK ' You see her hair dripping down her head and spinning out over the seats in the back and lighting them on fire. You see her pale skin and electric veins as she puts her hand out the window and tries to catch the sky and stuff it up her sleeve. You hear her voice, “Just drive James, you’ll know where we’re going when we get there.”

REALLY I AM NOT FUCKIGN Okay CALL AN AMBULANCE CALL IT NOW I AM UNWELL I AM SICK I AM DYING FUK ME RITE UP

i am fully convinced this is the greatest thing thats ever been written.like. How. the. FUCK. tbh i want this paragraph ENTIRELY TATTOOED ON MY ASS I AM ZCRYING @ CAROLINE YOU HAVE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BRAIN AND I AM SO VERY GLAD THAT IT EXISTS

i will not go into depth abt yelling about ur fics bc tbh i think u Know but I JUST WANNA SAY 'oh darling i have coloured blood (that i stole from you)' is the most iconic piece of literature to this day ever the and i zcri all the time because you are a goddamn bloody genius and you shine in colours beyond my comprehension and i love you so so so incredibly much

MY LOVE IS SO FUCKING TALENTED I AM YELLING I AM YELLING I AM YELLING

DOESN'T EAT FRIED SPERM

writes the BEST emails in history

UR SO LOVELY U GIVE ME SO MANY BEAUTIFUL SPELLING ERRORS FOR ME TO WHOLEHEARTEDLY ENJOY I AM GIGGLING *GIGGLES* IT BRINGS ME SO MUCH JOY WHEN U FUCK THINGS UP

tbh it is how fried chair came to life like it was actually in one of your first fanmails to me u said that two years ago and to this day it remains the Most Iconic Thing Ever

STRONG SUPPORTER OF WEETBIX

LOVES WEETBIX

FOUGHT TIGERS AND LIONS FOR HER FAMILY AND WAS SAVED BY WEETBIX AND WEETBIX ALONE

ACTUALLY HAD A THING CALLED ‘WEETBIX DISCOURSE’ ON HER BLOG LIKE IT WAS ACTUALLY A THING THAT HAPPENED A REAL THING THAT OCCURED AND WAS PASSIONATELY ARGUED ABOUT AND I HAVE SEEN THINGS THAT CANNOT BE UNSEEN

RIGHTFULLY SO BC WEETBIX >>>>> JONAH GRIGGS I AM SORRY IT IS THE RULES

FUCK THE H8RS

like ??? is hilarious af QUEEN OF HUMOUR AND MAKING ME SNORT MY GODDAMN CHOCLATE MILK LIKE CAN U NOT BE SO EXCEPTIONAL U HO HAVE SOME CONSIDERATION U LIL BITCH but YES a++ top notch QUALITY storytelling skills in both fic writing and tequila struggles I APPRECIATE IT TO DEATH

ok ok ok also the most beautiful person ever??? LIKE ???????????????? BITCH WHAT THE FUCK ??????????????????????????????????????????????? WHO ALLOWED U

THE MOST PERFECT HAIR. ur hair is like waves of a golden ocean cascading from ur hEAD AND IT IS SO MAGICALLY FITTING B/C U R AN ETHEREAL BEING AND THE FACT THAT U HAVE AN ENTIRE WILD SEA RAGING ON UR HEAD JUST PROVES TO ME THAT U ARE A GOD AMONG MORTALS. UR HAIR IS SO PRETTY OK OK OKAY FUCK ME UP. STRAIGHT UP GORGEOUS. SO SOFT TOO AND SO SHINY AND IT FITS U SO WELL I AM FOREVER SCREAMING

THE MOST ANGEL FACE. GOATYS FACE LOOKS LIKE GOD OR WHOEVER THE FUCK WAS RESPONSIBLE CARVED IT OUT OF ROSE PETALS AND MARBLE LIKE. IT. IS. TRULY. THE MOST GORGEOUS THING ur face is softer than clouds tbh AND UR SMILE SAVES MY LIFE ITS BRIGHTER THAN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE CONDENSED AND SOMETIMES WHEN I SEE UR SELFIES I HAVE TO GO GET LASER EYE SURGERY BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN B L I N D E D

U R SO UNCONSIDERATE TO MY FRAGILE HEALTH HOW DARE YOU

SO. GODDAMN GORGEOUS SLAY MY ENTIRE LIFE I BEG U ID PAY U TO SIT ON ME WITH UR HUGE BONES AND SLOWLY CRUSH ME INTO AN ENDLESS DEATH I HAVE $4 LEFT OVER FROM MY LIFE SAVINGS DO IT BAE

has the best taste in music omg WHAT A BLESSING WE LIKE THE SAME SONGS AND IT ACTUALLY KIND OF SCARES ME B/C IT FEELS LIKE WE ARE THE SAME PERSON AND THIS DOES NOT HELP MY CONSTANT STATE OF EXISTENTIAL CRISIS

HAS THE BEST TASTE IN BOOKS and adores skam as much as i do AND LOVES CHRIS/EVA AS MUCH AS IDO AND WROTE A FIC FOR THEM AND THE SNIPPET FROM IT ????? MY SOUL. GONE.

so tol and will never stop accusing me of being smol but listen up aight. imma FUCK YOU UP. REAL GOOD. ONE DAY. WHEN I CAN AFFORD TO BUY A LADDER. UNTIL THEN SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN BINCH BC I AM COMING TO GET U

and is also the smartiest smart to ever smart LOOK AT MY U GO WITH UR EXCELLENCE ENDORSEMENT when i buy that ladder I WILL CLIMB IT AND HOVER AROUND UR HEAD LOTS SO I CAN ABSORB UR POWERS AND ALSO BREATHE THE FRESH AIR UP THERE WHICH IS NOT AVAILABLE TO GROUNDED PEASANTS SUCH AS ME

AND IS THE BEST COOKIE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE LIKE IF THIS ISNT ENOUGH TO CONVINCE ANYONE THAT CAROLINE IS BEYOND EXCEPTIONAL FOR OUR GALAXY THEN THEY CAN FUCK OFF PLS OK

like honestly,,, MY LOVE I COULD GO ON FOR YEARS AND YEARS AND CENTURIES UNTIL MY TEETH FALL OUT AND I GROW SENILE WITH MY LOVE BUT THE POINT OF THIS HOT STEAMING LAME MESS IS THAT I LOVE YOU TO BLOODY PIECES UR SO F U C K I N G INCREDIBLE I AM SO GLAD I MET YOU AND THAT YOU TAlk TO ME AND WE EMAIL EACH OTHER AND I AM BLESSED THAT YOU EVEN THINK OF ME AND THAT FREID CHAIR LOVES ME AND THAT U R MY GOAT BC UR MY ONLY GOAT AND UR THE BEST ONE THERE IS NO SHADE @ ALL OTHER GOATS BUT LIKE. IM SORRY I CANNOT TELL A LIE

IT IS THE COLD HARD TRUTH.

and like??? i did a /search/deadgwen ON @jiilys BC I WANTED TO LOOK AT ALL OUR OLD STUFFS FROM 2015 and I Regret it I Regret it So Much theres a selfie from like when i was 14 and an idiot still on Ur blog and I look like an actual tragedy I Want to Die we have known each other for so long its RIDICULOUS UR STILL AS AMAZING AS U WERE BACK THEN AND I AM MORE OR LESS CURED OF MY CONDITION OF BEING AN EMBARASSING DIPSHIT AND ITS CRAZY HOW MUCH YOUNGER WE WERE THEN LIKE UM WTF BUT UR STILL AS BEAUTIFUL AND 9384930X TIMES MORE AND I STILL LOVE U BC UR PERFECT AS EVER AND THAT IS WHAT MATTERS

NOW. I WAS GONNA MAKE YOU A PRESENT LIKE I REALLY DID BAE I TRIED SO MUCH SHIT ITS HORRIBLE BC LIKE ??? I WANTED TO MAKE YOU A PRESENTATION ON UR GOAT SUPERIORTY LIKE I DID LAST YEAR EXCEPT Like i am a fucking asshole™(COPYRIGHT JONAH GRIGGS THE MAN TEH MYTH THE LEGEND) who cannot do shit FOR SHIT it turned out so Awful and i cANNOT GRAPHIC BABE I TRIED TO MAKE YOU THIS EDIT AND THEN I REALIZED IT WAS Bad AND FOUGHT MYSELF FOR SIX HOURS AND I CANNOT WRITE AND YOU DESERVE ALL THE GIFTS EVER BUT I AM TRULY AWFUL

*ZCRIES*

I KNOW IM LAME AND MY ONLY TALENT IS YELLING FOR HOURS ON END I WISH I COULD HAVE MADE YOU SOMETHING REALLY COOL BC ITS UR SEVENTEETH AND 17 IS THE BEST NUMBER AND UR LOVELY AND I LOVE YOU SO PLEASE FORGIVE ME BAE FOR BEING AN ACTUAL GARAGE ASSHOLE (COPYRIGHT JONAH GRIGGS THE EXPERIENCE) SHIT DICK 100% TERRIBLE DICKFLUTE OKAY I LOVE YOU AND I CAN NEVER IMAGINE WHAT I WOULD BE WITHOUT YOU IN MY LIFE AND I HOPE YOU HAVE A REALLY REALLY REALLY GOOD YEAR LIKE FUCK SHIT UP BAE UR GONNA BE IN YEAR 13 ITS ALL GONNA BE SO AWFUL AND WE WILL ALL DIE aND WERE SO O L D JESUS CHRIST IF HEART ATTACKS DONT TAKE US OUT NCEA LEVEL 3 WILL BUT I HOPE THIS WILL BE A SUPER GOOD YEAR FOR U IN REGARDS OF EVERYTHING BECAUSE U DESERVE IT U DESERVE IT U DESERVE IT I HOPE THINGS WILL LEAD UP TO U GETTING THAT APARTMENT IN NEW YORK AND ALL THE HIGH HEELS THAT U WILL WEAR AND ALL THE YELLOW FLOWERS THAT U WILL BUY AND UR CAREER AS A LIFECHANGING LITERARY GENIUS OK OK I LOVE YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABE

ok ok ok but.

ONE MORE THING.

LISTEN.

THE FUCKING

*CLECNHES JAW*

REBLOG FIASCO

*FLINGS MY ASS INTO THE SUN*

WHEN IT IS GOOD AND DAYLIGHT. U HAVE UNTIL THEN. LIKE I KNOW THIS IS UR BIRTHDAY WISH AND I LOVE YOU BUT FUCK OFF HWO COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME I FUCKING TRUSTED YOU I FUCKING FUCK JUST FUCK YOU FUCKING DICK i will RIOT

OKAY BABE ITS MIDNIGHT AND ILL BE UP IN ABOUT SIX HOURS AND LIKE. ANYTHING. ANYTHING ELSE FOR UR BIRTHDAY WISH OK BABE IM GONNA FUCKING DIE THIS IS IT THIS THE END I WILL GO DOWN SWEARING PROFUSELY WITH A HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE AND U WILL BE WATCHING AND LAUGHI G ANF @OFFICALTALL FUCK YU FUCKDUCKUD CUDCKUD DNUSJNDJF FUCK U @GOATY FUCK. UFCN WHERE IS UR HOOF WHY ARE U NOT FEELIN THE TEMPERATURE ITS EBOLA ITS GOATBOLA I WONT MAKE IT UNTIL DAWN I WONT SEE THE SUNLIGHT GOATY I CANT *FAKE CRYING SOUNDS* I WILL DIE. IT WILL HAPPEN. AND I WANT IT TO BE KNOWN THAT U ARE THE BITCH THAT KILLED ME. *MORE FAKE ZCRYING SOUNDS* I MUST SEND MESSAGES TO ALL MY DEAREST KIND FRIENDS WHO HAVE NEVER FUCKED ME LIKE THIS ALRIGHT *FAKE COUGHING* TELL THEM THAT I *MORE FAKE COUGHOGN* LOVE THEM *THROWS KETCHUP PACKET EVERYWHERE WHILE UR NOT LOOKING AND BUSY BEING WORRIED ABOUT MY HEALTH* AND I WILL REMEMBER THEM EVEN IN DEATH

ANYWAY HERE IS MY WILL:

WHAT U GET:

nothing

u get nothing

bINCH

zero. zip. nada

0 potato 4 u

U CAN HAVE THE SALT FROM MY KITCHEN SO U WILL BE PERPETUALLY REMINDED OF MY LAST EMOTIONS TOWARDS THIS LIFE

maybe like the one half a potato that was randomly in my drIVEWAY THAT ONE TIME

M A Y B E

WHAT GOOD KIND LOVING FRIENDS, SUCH AS MILS AND FRIED CHAIR AND ELLIE AND OTHER ASSORTED PEOPLES WHICH I SHALL ADDRESS IN CLAUSE 4.20 OF THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS OF MY WILL, GET:

actually mils is a hoe and can choke but u r the evil here rn aND FOR THE PURPOSES OF THIS ARGUMENT WE WILL PRETEND THAT I LIKE MILS

ANYWAY. REALLY GOOD THINGS I OWN

I HAVE SOME SOCKS I DONT WANT U GUYS CAN HAVE THEM

AND LIKE

MY DUVET

SEE GOATY THESE ARE THE KIND OF HEART TOUCHING POST DEATH GIFTS U MISS OUT ON WHEN U MURDER ME IN COLD BLOOD

ALSO NO TOUCHING MY MANGOES THAT I BOUGHT TWO DAYS AGO BECAUSE I STILL WANT TO EAT THEM AND IF ANYONE EVEN BREATHES IN THEIR GENERAL DIRECTION I WILL BEAT THEM UNCONSCIOUS WITH A TELEPHONE THIS IS A T H R E A T

I HOPE UR TAKING NOTES AND I HOPE U FEEL GOOD ABOUT BEING A 6′3 KILLER BECAUSE UR AN ASSHOLE ™LIKE UR ASSHOLIER™ THAN THE REAL ASSHOLE THAT IS JONAH GRIGGS™ THE LABEL™ (COPYRIGHT JONAH GRIGGS™ THE ANT MURDERING HOT PIECE OF ASS™) BUT I WILL DIE FOR U MY GOAT *strokes ur pretty face* BC IT IS UR BIRTHDAY WISH FOR ME TO SUFFER AND I LOVE YOU AND I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR U THEREFORE . DESPITE THIS SICKNESS *FLAILS* I. WILL. BE. BRAVE. I WILL REBLOG THOSE TWENTY POSTS I WILL FLATLINE BY THE THIRD POST AND MY BLOOD WILL BE ON UR HANDS *CAREFULLY ARRANGES MY STUNT GOAT IN POSITION* AND I WILL BE YELLING CURSES AT YOU IN THE TAGS BUT I WILL DIE IN THE NAME OF HONOUR I WILL GO DOWN AS A GOAT NEVER HAS BEFORE

BUT LIKE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU AND I I LOVE YOU AND I LOVE YOU AND I LOVE YOU AND I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU SO SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC I AM SO HAPPY U EXIST. HAVE THE BOMBEST ASS 17TH BIRTHDAY BABE I HOPE UR PARTY IS LIT AND HAVE FUN GETTING DRUNK AND HAVING ALL THE BANTS AND LAFFS AND ALSO I WILL SEND U THE AWAITED EMAIL IN A FEW HOURS WHEN MY INTERENT IS BACK ON BECAUSE IT IS A CONTINUATION OF THIS BULLSHIT WITH SOME STRUCTURED DISCUSSION AKA WHAT THE FUCK DO U HAVE AGAINST SMIRNOFF ICE how is it not HARDCORE enough for u IT IS LITERALLY FLAVOURED VODKA DOES IT NOT KNOCK OUT UR 6′3 ASS OR WHAT EXCUSE ME

ANYWAY IN CONCLUSION.

HAPPY. SEVENTEENTH. BIRTHDAY. MY. CHUM.

*BLOWS U A KISS*

*PUTS ON TWO FÜR COATS TO REMAIN UNDETECTED*

*STEALS ALL UR WEETBIX AND RUNS AWAY TO ALASKA NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN*

*still replies ur emails tho cuz i love u bitch y u do dis to me*

#I LOVE YOU SORRY THIS IS SO LONG BUT MY POINT STANDS #ALSO SORRY FOR THE SHITTINESS AND IF SOMETHING LOOKS WEIRD BC I EDITED IT SO MANY TIMES IT IS PORBABLY MOST DEFINITELY FUCKED UP SOMEHWERE #@ MYSELF I DONT TRUST U #fucshias #jiilys #I LOVE U BAE HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAPPY HAPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY #*SINGS* HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU #my BIG GOAT UR 17 NOW I AM ZCRYING RN I SWEAR I LOVE YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY

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