#bc it isn't just like: HOMOPHOBIC PPL BAD!!

[saph-yells-into-the-void]

the amount of DISDAIN I get from some ppl saying that blue flag is written for the straights.

girl I did not stay up til 6am reading this manga, tearing up and crying bc of how much I saw myself in characters like touma and masumi and how painfully relatable their pain/struggles were just for you to say that blue flag is for the straights

be so fr rn

[tirfpikachu]

the mainstream qweer community is full of hypocrites.

if you don't accept afab4afab or amab4amab ppl, you cannot accept transmascs4transmasc or transfems4transfems. or even those who are transmasc4transfem. bc that's still choosing to be only into your same sex/agab, aka "bigoted." and the thing is, y'all have those so-called bigots in your ranks already. are all transfems truly attracted to other transfems? are all transmascs really attracted to transfems? you say that t4t is valid because it involves trans people. but based on your logic, it's only valid if it doesn't involved that person's agab, right? so you better make sure that everyone in your camp actually follows that logic. because from the outside, the mainstream lgbtq community is a huge hypocrite. to avoid being a transphobe, all afab people need to be into amab ppl & viceversa. stay consistent! cuz it's getting confusing seeing your own club be obviously transphobic for daring to have a sex/agab-based sexuality. if that's the case you obviously need to do conversion therapy on yourself, like y'all expect of us "terfy" exclusive afab4afab & amab4amab homosexuals.

you are feeding right into the homophobic rhetoric that homosexuals are all genitals fetishists who have the audacity to have their sexual and/or romantic attraction determined by the person's body type, secondary sex characteristics, and even the person's upbringing and all the culture and shared experiences involved in that. being exclusively same-sex/agab attracted is a marginalized experience. seeing it shamed within lgbt spaces is fucking outrageous. if you are trans and exclusively same-sex attracted, you need to SPEAK THE FUCK UP for those of us who lost our voice on the matter for not being trans. i know that transition can affect things. i know. i know that sometimes, someone turns out to be attracted only to afab/female people and transfems, or the same with amab/male people and transmascs, and those are really cool, valid sexualities too. but our brand of gayness is valid too. we are worth existing. we belong in the lgbt. or if we don't, we're getting tf out of there, because we're tired of apologizing for being our authentic selves. you need to grow a tougher skin and realize that you will get rejected sometimes!! sometimes, your body type, your personality, your quirks, etc will mean you won't be compatible with someone. someone saying oh sorry, i'm only into amab/male people, or afab/female people, isn't an insult. you should be more confident in yourself and your identity. you cannot put your own worth and sense of self in someone's hands like that, especially not in dating. it's not just unhealthy, but also extremely harmful and legit dangerous, and bad news for everyone involved. how many homodykes i know have tried to be with transfems out of guilt? how many were pressured to try girldick to prove they were good allies? how many transmascs called cis/non-trans gay men bigots for having a so-called "genital preference" and not giving them a try? that is the sort of creepy shit that i expect of cishet men, not of lgbt people. this shit is not okay.

it genuinely will (and has) lead to sexual abuse, predatory behavior and a loss of community. you are making so many homosexual people, trans or not, feel like they have nowhere else to turn to for support. and then you're shocked when they orbit radblr, or get hateful and end up fully anti-trans. i have many beloved trans friends, and i want to advocate for trans people's happiness, safety and acceptance. but i'm also a homosexual lesbian. and i fucking refuse to not celebrate that. it's my birthright as someone who's female, or afab, or more accurately ofab and is only into others who were born like me. i'm not a creep, i'm not a bigot. my sexuality is wonderful and does not dismiss your own. against a lot of radfems, i'm even supportive of transbians and trans gay men; though nothing ofc is above criticisms and i do believe homosexual-exclusive spaces are still valid. despite all that, because i'm a homodyke, because i was born this way and openly say it and learn to feel good about it - against what cishet society wants me to do - i'm seen as betraying my own community. that's honestly pathetic. if y'all won't welcome exclusively same-sex/agab attracted people, we on radblr will. we homosexual bio/cis men & women, and even trans people, will form our own community and advocate for our own rights. you are losing out on phenomenal allies right now. you need to moderate your own spaces, or before long you'll look around and only see unhinged bigoted chronically online weirdos, while we do actual lgbt activism.

[apollos-olives]

If I may ask - and this is a question that is genuine and by no means trying to dehumanize of offend you - but what is it like to be queer and Palestinian? Palestine is a majority muslim country, altho I am aware that that does not mean that you are Muslim or belong to any other religion that Palestinians follow but if you do follow a religion, then what is it like to be queer because again, to my knowledge being queer or rather engaging in non-hetero relationships (i apologize for my wording) is forbidden. So how does it work, if you follow a religion. I'm truly sorry if this is in any way rude but my question comes from wanting to know more and not from a place of malice

i've actually talked about queerness in palestine before and honestly it isn't more or less special than any other country. almost every country in the world is homophobic as well. palestine isn't special with it's homophobia just because it's a majority muslim country. i'd get hatecrimed in the america more than i'd get hatecrimed in palestine, i can tell you that.

i am muslim, and i follow what i think is best for myself. i've studied the qur'an and have looked into queerness in relation to islam from the qur'an directly and yk what i found? nothing. the qur'an never mentions homosexuality. the story of prophet lut 3alayhisalam is the only thing the qur'an even gets close to mentioning about queerness. i'm not going to go into the full story but basically god destroyed an entire village for committing "indecent" acts, which were rape, pedophilia, premarital sex, infidelity, and along with that, the people of the village also were having same sex relationships. it's very explicitly clear that rape, pedophilia, infidelity, and premarital sex is not allowed, since those rules are mentioned in the qur'an more than once, but homosexuality was never even mentioned in the qur'an at all. it's only implied outside of the qur'an through passed down stories that the people of the village were homosexuals, and the islamic community decided to basically discard the rest of the story and focus on homosexuality only, so they translated the story into "god crushed a village of homos bc they were bad ppl so being homo is bad" even though the context and the direct translation of the qur'an never even brings up that the act of homosexuality itself is a sin. god didn't punish those people because they were gay, he punished them because they were commiting horrible sins like rape and pedophilia. they were just having same sex relationships on top of that, which god never directly condemned or even mentioned in the qur'an.

god always has rules for a reason. premarital sex is a sin because you may become diseased, and god wants the best for you so he forbids it. eating pig is a sin because pigs carry diseases and are generally unclean, and god wants you to be clean and to be well so he forbids it. etc. etc. etc. god has rules and reasons for everything because he is fair and just. there is simply no rule about homosexuality being wrong, and also no reasons as to why it would be wrong.

and even with all of that, so what if being gay is wrong? why would god create me this way if he didn't love me and accept me for how HE created me? doesn't god love all his creations? doesn't god love me for being true to myself and loving others as well? i don't think it's wrong, in any sense of the way, to love people. because if there is no harm in it, what's wrong with love?

and one thing i love about islam is that doing one sin only counts as one sin. we believe that certain actions and good deeds can count for many times it's weight. praying 5 times a day counts as many good deeds as praying 50 times a day. reading surah al-ikhlas even once counts as reading 1/3rd of the whole qur'an. our good deeds are magnified, while our bad deeds are only singular. while one good deed may count for 50 of them, one sin will only ever count as one sin. a muslim eating pork one time will only be counted as a single sin. a muslim having premarital sex one time will only be counted as a single sin. and IF homosexuality is a sin?? well. that only counts for one single sin. it's so easy to go to heaven. if you're a good person, you'll make it, even if you're gay or trans or whatever else. it doesn't matter. one sin compared to a mountain of good deeds is not going to affect you. that's why i love islam. god is kind to us like that.

and being trans comes into the equation as well. many muslims are against trans people because they believe it's a sin for a "man" to be effeminate and that it's wrong to change your body bc god created you perfectly. but like... there is literal science proving trans people exist. and the topic of dysphoria proves it even. if trans people are so dysphoric and so mentally harmed by not being able to transition or pass that it affects their mental or physical health, isn't it wrong to forbid them to receive treatment?? and what if the only treatment that works is for them to directly transition? god allows any permanent altercation to the body as long as it's for health reasons, and being trans is most definitely a health reason. god wants us to love ourselves, not harm ourselves. and the people who complain that it's "changing how god created us" make no sense because what if someone was born deformed and wouldn't survive without a surgery that changed their appearance? are you going to just let them die because you don't want them to change their appearance because that's disrespectful to gods creation? no, of course not. being trans is a health related thing and god always wants the best for us, especially when it comes to health and wellbeing.

as for me, i have an uncomfortable relationship with my own queerness. i don't like or use labels, and i don't consider myself part of the lgbtq+ community, because i don't feel welcome there. but i'm still queer. i've had queer relationships before and i'm open to having them again, but i'm just very skeptical of actually being in one. i've kind of resigned myself to a point of "semi-celibacy" where i don't actively seek out relationships nor do i imply that i want one, but IF one day, something happens... well 🤷‍♂️ something happens. i don't think i'll ever get married though, because that'd be a whole other religious story, but as much as i'd like to go out and have relationships, i think my safest option is to be celibate until i've decided for myself later what i want to do. not to punish myself but just so i don't get distracted and stray away from god accidentally.

in the end, being queer as a muslim depends on the specific muslim and how they view their relationship with their queerness and their relationship with god. it's different for everyone and it's only up to a persons own self to decide what is best for them and their religion. i've done research about queerness in islam for myself because i simply could not live with myself if i actually knew that being queer was wrong, and it isn't, so i'm alright now.

muslims aren't horrific with their homophobia, just misguided and misinformed. that doesn't mean i hate them or try to convince every muslim i meet to agree with my views abour queerness, no, because it's only up to the person themselves to decide not to be a bigot. the reality is that most muslims are homophobic and that's it 🤷‍♂️ they may be wrong, but it doesn't mean anything in the end.

we as palestinian muslims need to be given our basic human rights to EXIST before we move onto queer liberation. we must be liberated on a humanitarian level before we are liberated on a queer level. palestine simply hasn't had time for queer liberation because we're too busy fighting to survive. and even then, i do believe it's absolutely justified for palestinians to be anti lgbtq when many lgbtq people are actively calling for our genocide. doesn't mean it's right to be a bigot, but you must understand that if my entire family got massacred in front of my eyes and my entire house got bombed with me inside it, and the people who did it were raising a rainbow flag... well. i would hate whoever stands behind that flag as well. bigoted hatred comes from a place of fear and hurt and misinformation. if palestinians haven't had time to unlearn homophobia, of course they will be misinformed about the queer community and fear it. it's only fair.

this was a wonderful question and i'm glad you were curious to learn more :)

[bru1sed-apple]

this isn’t to dig on ur anti zutara post but rather start a discussion.

in my experience, the reason we zutarians don’t like zukka is because of the animosity we get from the fandom. we analyze the subtle details we are given because practically every zuko and Katara interaction in the show is because all of them save the first have some degree of zutara in it. their chemistry- be it platonic or romantic- is undeniable.

and yet, we are told by zukkas and kataangers that we are wrong for shipping the ship. a lot of zukkas sideline the women in atla- sokka is given a lot of Katara’s qualities that are stated in the show (ie: people claiming that sokka is the team dad when he literally confessed that he saw Katara more as his mother than his actual mother), mailee is just there (majority of the mailee fics on ao3 are just them being a side couple in zukka fics), and not to mention comradekatara’s posts from back when they were lesbians4sokka about Katara being homophobic. even if it was a joke, it was something that people took seriously. a lot of the same zukkas are the ones making fun of katara for talking about her mother’s death when that literally happened three times outside of the southern raiders episode.

dont get me wrong, I know that the zutara fandom was absolutely rabid in the early 2000s and that’s where we get our bad reputation, but the only time that we’ve had issues with other people in the atla fandom was when they interacted with our content and it blew up.

Honestly you make some points I agree and disagree with so I'll go one paragraph at a time

1.

I do agree that some zutirans get hate that isn't deserved. I definitely think that a lot of the fandom doesn't like zutartians, I'm part of that group as well (for the most part). I also do think they have chemistry, but more in a way that's more like family rather than lovers.

I think the over-analyzing is a bit too much, I'm overwhelmed every time I see a zutara post. Obviously, some analyzing is okay, I sometimes analyze ships, but I feel like zutartians do it sm that it feels kind of annoying?? Maybe that's just me, but I feel like you don't have to analyze things just to justify your ship. Just ship what you like

2.

I agree with the fact that zukka shippers tend to sideline women in fics. I've def read fics where katara is sort of villanized, and I definitely don't agree with that. A lot of the time, ppl prefer MLM ships to than WLW ship, (which if you ask me, is because ppl prefer male characters to female ones (*cough* misogyny *cough*)(though i dont think most of the misogyny is purposeful))

Idk if it's bc we're in different parts of the fandom, but I've never really seen ppl say that shipping zutara is wrong?? I've seen ppl say they don't like it, and why, but they always state that they don't care if people ship zutara and that they're only stating reasons they personally don't like it.

Perhaps it's because I tend to stay away from the more toxic part of the community because if I see smth I don't like I more often than not just scroll past. But I def believe that their are zukkas who are toxic, but I think some of that is just because ppl are toxic, no matter what fandom you're in.

I can't really speak on kataangers because while I do like the ship, I'm not really in that part of the fandom, so I'm not sure if ppl are unnecessarily mean to zutarians.

(Edit: nvm kataangers can be real assholes, I def believe that they're unnecessarily mean to ppl who dont ship kataang 😒😒)

3.

As for the zutara Fandom in the early 2000s I can't really speak on that bc I didnt watch atla until I wanna say 2017 or 2018. So I don't really know what the fandom was like.

So yeah, that's kinda my take?? Idk I spent like a good while trying to figure out what to say 🤧🤧

[june16th2018]

things i deeply hate in tokyo revengers (and its fandom)

tw opinions

(disclaimer: tkr is one of my fav manga ever)

1 • the animation

the anime adaptation is absolutely hideous and extremely offensive bc what the fuck?? this is so bad and yet yall are eating it up.

everytime i see an edit of the anime i just start shaking and sobbing uncontrollably (especially the takemichi ones bc how can you guys find him handsome in the anime when he's even uglier than kiyomasa)

my friends and i have this really fun challenge where we have to watch a tokyo revengers episode without laughing at the animation (we always end up failing after like 3 minutes)

2 • those dumb kokonui shippers 🤓

don't get me wrong, i love this ship sm i want them to get married and have kids

i just hate ppl who enjoy this ship for this exact panel :

it wasn't romantic shut the fuck up

koko is a really well-written character who is clearly in pain after losing a girl he was in love with (as silly and childish his crush on her might have seemed) and with a very visible mental instability, and yall are choosing to close your 12 years old ass eyes on that just so you can have ship content, gross

again, i love kokonui, but stfu

3 • the toxic y/n/ocs enjoyers

i don't see the point of calling shippers weird if you are yourself a characterxreader enjoyer or an oc creator 🤓

4 • most likely to be a pedo 😇

those weird grown ass ppl drawing or writing the characters in a very sexual way?? if it's a fanart/fanfiction of their adult version then i guess it's okay but the ones when they keep the design of the 2005-6 timeline?? hello??

same goes for grown ass ppl enjoying this content

5 • mischaracterization

chifuyu isn't a soft baby 🥺 stop treating him and drawing him like a goddamn baby it's just embarrassing as hell. same goes for takemichi, yall are wild 💀💀

sanzu isn't canonically a crackhead (i still eat this hc up but just bc we saw him take a pill ONCE doesn't mean he's an actual drug addict like what if he just had a headache and needed aspirin)

koko isn't a sad and exhausted workaholic in bonten, the only panel of his bonten version we got was his wide goofy sassy ass smile and he was saying smth about killing ppl i don't quite remember 💀

draken is in love with emma, i'm tired of seeing drakey shippers in denial, like yes he does give a fuck about her, stop saying he doesn't 💀 also their ship is awesome i love them sm

btw little reminder to every kisanma/hankisa enjoyers : kisaki is homophobic

6 • "takemichi x all"

this might actually be the worst thing ever

takemichi isn't the ultimate rizzler yall

this is embarrassing and yall need to grow up 😐

7 • the way yall are sleeping on naoto

this man is so fine plus he's so determined to save his sister i know my brother would never do the same 💀

8 • the neverending bajifuyu vs ryufuyu war

why

[inchidentally]

ouuhh that's not…

I swear I read it three times and looked through their blog hoping they were joking alfhaslfkh nope

BUT I do not want anyone to engage with this so I'm hiding the link - not just because it's ridiculous but because the best way to confine rpf ship drama is to leave it alone. (edit: so I lied abt this asofgsalfga I did reply to one person but only bc they put it in the main tags) I don't rly like blocking but I also don't want to have to create a million filtered tagged posts on my dash - and tbh I don't think anyone I've blocked will care anyway. this way I can still see carlando content for fun but none of the fandom nonsense.

I'm mostly posting this bc up til now I rly wanted to set aside the behavior of the fandom to continue enjoying carlando content but I just can't be bothered anymore. between the larrying and the rampant, disgusting casual misogyny - and ofc the competing with which friendship or fake ship blorbo 1 and 2 are "happier" with asgfjsalfglja. and it's not just this latest thing I get sent tweets and posts abt whole agendas to "prove" that Lando isn't "happy" with Oscar/Martin/insert man who is currently considered threatening to their concepts of Lando's relationships. some ppl even friendzone Max F and Lando and pretend Carlos means more to Lando than him so there's no limits to the insanity.

so for me atp there just isn't enough about carlando to make it worth constantly being reminded that the way too many of it's fans truly believe that these are two men are either as close to each other as they are to their real, acknowledged close friends and/or in a secret gay relationship, that their girlfriend(s) are cold-hearted PR plants/escorts rigged by an evil all-controlling PR department and once the blorbos are freed of homophobic forces (oh god Carlos' old tweets tiktokboom) they can finally have the kind of toxic heteronormative version of a queer relationship that is right with the universe.

like, rpf is only meant to be for fun and more important it is meant to be kept away from anyone involved/the general public !! but when ppl's delu results in the actual women these men choose as their partners being at best aggressively cropped out of pictures and videos* and at worst stalked, harassed, their families and employers harassed, abuse and slander left in comments sections on popular social media and team pages - yea carlando laughing together sometimes and slowed down bro hugging isn't enough lol

it’s also slightly the fact that if you picked a bunch of Lando’s reactions to Carlos and Daniel and no one knew context clues then no one would be able to tell which one he’s reacting to. Carlos/Daniel teases Lando, Lando shriek laughs and goes red, James Corden style gay innuendo, slightly tense undercurrent of men wanting to one up each other with jokes, iterations of bromance that are half sincere and half for the cameras, hashtag hashtag. Lando goes to Daniel's ranch on a whim, dando is special. Lando goes to Carlos' sister's huge society wedding, carlando is special. Lando's family likes Lando which makes carlando special. Lando and Daniel share mutual friends outside of racing which makes dando special. like, it's the same dynamic just rotated around at different times. I enjoy both ships to a certain degree but I'm kind of mystified at ppl choosing to see them as super deep and meaningful and worth fighting over.

side note g o d do I fully embrace that ppl who do these ship competitions and larrying nonsense have ZERO interest in landoscar bc we love Lily and support Lando in his many probable conquests - and bc the Lando and Oscar dynamic isn't a big bromance for the cameras and has no fake gay for fangirl consumption.

like yes pls absolutely consider landoscar inferior to carlando if it means they stay away from inventing conspiracy theories and saying they "just have a bad feeling" about Lily and start attributing everything Lando has achieved to his teammate instead of himself.

also I could be SO incredibly mean using charlos vs carlando and the difference between PR and the public trying to tear one apart but it persisting vs PR and the public being a major factor in the other persisting at all. or the fact that charlos does everything ppl want carlando to do. but there's no point spending more time on people who think that two adult men - who've both said they're as much rivals as friends and the bromance is more what the public sees - are laughing in metrically different and lesser degrees of happiness with their new teammates vs a former teammate.

like, as long as I can now not be exposed to those opinions then they have a perfect right to express them. god knows I'm not saying my blogs is worth a damn but at least I don't trash anyone's gf or try to stunt on other rpf ships for no reason

tl;dr I'm p much done trying to make carlando worthwhile for me to rb or post about. I enjoy seeing it on my dash for myself but that's it! no one will be affected by this change lafhlsahf

*I know there are a few ppl out there who do this bc they have a no-private life policy on their blogs and that's np. they aren't die hard carlando fans tho.

[dlstmxkakwldrlarchive]

the way members are stereotyped even in the year 2024 makes me INSANE. Minho homophobic jock. Kibum gayer than he actually is like they want him to be a white gay so bad and he really isn't like hes actually just normie gay. Taemin either uwu audhd quirkbean or gay as well meanwhile he's giving aggressively heterosexual. Jinki boring old chicken yoga. Jonghyun I don't even wanna speak on because the way he's talked about and stereotyped these days is a big fat MESS

no bcs you would think a group that has been around for 16 years wouldn't have to deal with something like this but WRONG and it's not only new fans that do it like old fans do nawt joke abt making up shit lol. 'I'm a debutwol so i know x and y 🤓' FAWK OFF bcs these are the same ppl who started labeling minho as violent bcs of some inside joke during that vlive with the other members and joked that he was the one who broke kibum's arm in hard era or are conviced that actually the reason jinki doesnt strip is bcs he likes to 'tease jjinggus'

and jjong being reduced to #taeminniesmom pisses me off so much im sorry

[c0rpsedemon]

ppl, mainly white lgbt ppl, have a longggg history of liking lovecraft work but not knowing how to address his bigotry and there are two main strategies i see irt this:

1) the most common one is the "it's abt me now" which is when they like to go off abt how awful lovecraft was as if he's a cartoon villain (and yes lovecraft was bad but in the grand scheme of things he didn't rlly take it out on anyone else and he at least seemed to become less bigoted as time went on so like. as far as racist historical authors go it's strange how ppl decide that This is the one that's treated like he's the fucking boogeyman or smthing) but the emphasis all comes down to "actually i'm spiting lovecraft by jacking his shit bc he would hate me bc i'm gay/trans" when like. lovecraft didn't give a shit abt gay/trans ppl. he probs didn't even Know they existed. the only evidence for him having negative views of gay/trans ppl is a severe misreading of the thing at the doorstep which comes from hearing a summary and not actually reading the thing, or going in in bad faith (the horror isn't 'gasp! edward thought he married a woman but she's rlly a man!' it's 'gasp! poor asenath lost her own mind and became her father... literally!' . like lovecraft was Very scared of inheritted mental issues asenath is a borderline self insert for him). lovecraft was racist, classist, and antisemetic . he was not homophobic or transphobic . it's not abt you. and hey he rlly would like you jacking his shit actually . he loved when ppl did that. (honestly he might even be ok w it if you Were in one of the groups he was worked up abt. like he Rlly wasn't that dedicated to his bigotry he literally married a jewish woman. also anyone jacking his shit at all was like the best thing that'd ever happen to him he rlly wanted ppl to do it bc he felt the more references there were to things like miskatonic university or arkham asyllum or the necronomicon the more real they seemed and the more mindfucky it was. and i think doing his literal favorite thing in the world is a p effective way to get him to overlook everything else). sometimes the "spiting lovecraft" is just adding monster sex bc he'd be sooo scandalized by it. babes he created innsmouth and wilbur whately he would Not gaf and i doubt you've actually read any of his shit 0/10 strategy accomplishes nothing and spreads misinformation

2) i call this one the "actually he wasn't involved in this at all" . the 'arkham asyllum was created by dc comics!' approach. mainly seen in fans of re-animator 1985 who like to call it a frankenstein adaptation. 0/10 you are Lying

[bijoumikhawal]

Part of the problem with MLM fetishization discourse (mainly found onTwitter, but i see it here too), is that people see effeminacy and femininity in men itself as a fetish, and therefore can't be assed to understand actual issues we face with regard to sexuality

It's impossible to talk about fatphobia, underlying assumptions often related to white supremacist beauty standards, adultification, ageism, etc that feminine men experience because people are too busy getting in a tizzy over a guy wearing skirts in media. One of the big issues for me is hypersexualization- I was getting sexualized at a very young age for being what I am, it's a big issue historically, and a lot of media I could access when I was younger was basically just porn/erotica. And that porn/erotica was often like. Racist, it hypermasculinzed Blackness in comparison to white effeminates, and it only portrayed fem men as submissive bottoms (which isn't itself bad) whose effeminacy was humiliation, and submission was bc they're worth less than "real men"

And like, the joke is people are so focused on wether or not people writing femmes who bottom is bad (it's just a thing that happens irl) that you can't talk about anything else. It's also a form of hypersexualization. The only other thing ppl wanna discuss is "heteronormativity". Fiction where femmes are fucking isn't a bad thing with that being said, and desexualizing us is also a common homophobic thing to do, and tends to loop back to the "less than a real man" thing.

And like, "yaoi"/"BL" isn't the big driving factor in hypersexualization here. If nobody in the US knew what that was I still would've been getting hit on by men twice my age at 16 (who sometimes would loudly advertise their interest in femmes specifically, or more accurately, "femboys" and "tr*ps").

And honestly when you deal with just like- grown ass men looking at you that way, people moaning and bitching that the big concern for fetishization here is basically wether or not the character exists only deepens the shame felt from those interactions. I was made to feel uncomfortable and gross because my gender presentation was seen as sexual when I was a teenager, and all this shit does is go "yeah, it is sexual, when I look at people like you I think about sex and how the sex you have is bad". And part of my Ick with portrayals of femmes is that we're assumed as submissive bottoms because I'm not, but this is still deeply harmful to people that are because you're telling queers the way they fuck is morally wrong and you're instilling shame over it.

And like... actual fetishization for me is more often when femmes as objects of sexual desire are seen that way through a lens of "you're a faggot so you're beneath me, you should thank me when I call you slurs and do xyz, you're trash, shaving you so you have less body hair (so you look more feminine) is a punishment and symbolizes my superiority" because it's just intracommunity femmephobia/effemiphobia with a boner.

Its not that other things are non-issues but cis women clumsily writing a masc/femme dynamic is probably more likely to make me laugh than feel ashamed or disgusted, and instances of feminizing a character for bigotry reasons in fandom are less common than people complaining about effeminacy existing at all (including with femme transmasc characters, especially because usually those aren't being written by cis people). The actual things that have made me cringe with shame and disgust about cis women's view of feminine and effeminate men sexually are more difficult for me to unsnarl because I see it less often, and it's sometimes more visceral because while I was sexualized by men I was actually abused by women, but I'll be frank; those things usually aren't occurring in discussions about fandom.

When I get disgusted in fandom discussion isn't about femme characters existing at all, or top/bottom/switch- they're about people acting like writing romance/erotica about men fucking is the sacred right of cis women and any discussion about equity in publishing means you're attacking fandom when they're two different things, and that that right is more important than the fact that queer men can struggle to get published in romance- and subsequent issues with poverty. Or the insistence that to be fetishized you need to be a woman because fetishization is stored in the pussy (revealing they haven't thought about racism in the romance genre, and don't think about trans women). Its about queer men in fandom writing smut and getting harassed by women who write the exact same type of it because the way they do it is somehow bad. It's about my sexuality being seen as piece of land to fight over, that I'm not supposed to be on, not writing about men in fishnets.

[schizowitchic]

re: the last post i reblogged i am now going to rant about biphobia i have experienced and am experiencing! yay /s

(under a cut bc this got way too long)

so in secondary school i was in a friend group full of queer people, majority of whom were bisexual girls (at the time. a couple are now nonbinary / asexual) . and they were very big on the whole "bisexual culture is liking every woman and 2 men" thing, a lot of "ew men" jokes, and all in all general "liking women is better than liking men" "why am i dating a gross icky man i should be with a woman".

now i am more attracted to men than women, not by much, its typically fairly equal, but i definitely have a leaning towards men. and i repressed that for AGES. because it simply was "frowned upon", so to speak, from almost everyone i was close with

(for further context for the rest of this. i am not out as genderfluid. i use she/her pronouns irl and ppl know me as a cis woman. i am not really out as aromantic, when i identified as aroace i did tell a few people but i think they either completely ignored me or forgot. lol.)

nowadays, i tell my friends i am bisexual. one in particular always seems to forget, constantly calling me gay/lesbian, assuming i have no opinion or that my opinion will be "ew no" when she asks if i find a man she likes hot. (she has told me so many times "why am i asking you this you don't even like men". i have told her i am bisexual several times) (she also thinks it's funny to call me & another friend "f-slurs" . she says that not the actual word but still. i have to find it funny bc she gets so defensive if we imply she's homophobic)

(i do call myself gay bc i consider none of my attraction ever to be straight. i have no major issues with being called a lesbian apart from the fact that. yknow. im not a lesbian and have never identified as such)

i made a post a while back saying something like "help im being biseuxal erasured". because i am!! i am stuck in yet another situation with people who are either mainly attracted to women/only attracted to women/don't often talk about their attraction to me & also two cishet girls who are attracted to men in a very different way than i am (one of whom erases the fact i am attracted to men and the other who i don't like and probably assumes i'm a lesbian bc of how often everyone else says that)

also full of "ew men" jokes!!. might i add.

i literally have no space to talk about the way i experience attraction, i have to water it down and pretend i only like women, pretend i am interested in romance, pretend i feel attraction when the occasioanll bout of extreme sex-repulsion hits, take (albeit censored) homophobic slurs, sex jokes about me & another female friend that are getting uncomfortable.

and pretend like the main perpretatror of this isn't being at all queerphobic. (she also has massive racism and antisemitism issues. although my friend did throw basically a whole book at her face when she made a really bad joke). to the point where i no longer consider her a friend but i can't say that bc then im overreacting and i'll get the same bullying ostracisation treatment & my friends are still gonna hang out w her so i can't avoid it

people wonder why i am aplatonic when throughout friendships i have experienced: making fun of me to my face & behind my back, bullying, homophobia, biphobia, aphobia, ableism .

like what the fuck. im sick and fucking tired of having nowhere safe to express my sexuality bc let's be real, the internet often isn't the best space.

ive made my peace with either having to compromise my aromanticism or my allosexuality irl (ie either be out as bisexual or out as aroace) but apparently i can't even freely be bisexual without people making assumptions and at this point im just waiting it out until i can hit restart and try make new friends

[epickiya722]

I really wanted to say something abt it, as you brought up how ppl seem to want Toga and Ochako to fight over Deku.

It reminds me of when some bkdks say that "If one of them was a girl, nobody would bat an eye and say that they are canon right away", and while i think that's true to some degree, i think things wouldn't change that much if Katsuki was the girl, specifically. At least, not when it comes to this group.

Bc, Kacchan is somehow controvertial over him being a schoolyard bully and insicure kid, and the fandom blowing it WAY out of proportion. I think that would happen the same way if he was a girl, but now added a much thicker layer of mysogyny.

Bc then they would most definitely pit him against Uraraka, just like they do to Toga, and be as horribly sexist as one can possibly be. Bc just like Toga, he wouldn't fit the perceived "perfectly sweet, wholesome submissive wife" role that they want Uraraka to be in so badly.

I'm saying this reminds me of what you said, bc this group, (made all basically of men), don't hate togachako and bkdk just bc they're homophobes, no, they actually hate any ship that have these two with other characters.

Bc they also have a twisted want for mha to insert in some harem shit between any girl Deku has a any interaction with so they can project onto him as the protagonist surrounded by women, and in the end be satisfied with seeing Uraraka become the pretty, submissive housewife bc that's her job as the nice main girl.

So if anyone else has a genuine shot with Deku or Uraraka, it breaks that illusion that this is what they are going to get, no matter what. And that's what they are used to getting.

Absolutely agree, Anon!

I feel like if Katsuki was a girl, there would be that group of people who would call her a bitch and "she and Izuku wouldn't work out" and definitely would view Katsuki as too "dominating" due to personality.

I hate this for several reasons because if you're shipping IzuOcha because you view Uraraka as the "perfect, submissive little wife" and that's it, you are not a true fan of her.

Like no one who is a genuine fan of her would look at her as just some "wife" for Midoriya because she's "meek and sweet".

First off, she's not "meek and submissive". Uraraka isn't a shy character. She's a lot more outgoing and social than Midoriya himself is. This is the same girl who even decided to do her internship with GUNHEAD, a Pro Hero named GUNHEAD.

Yes, she is a sweet soul. Yes, she is kind. But Uraraka isn't meant to be a girl that should be viewed as submissive because she is a nice girl. On Midoriya’s part, it's like saying he must be with her because "that's what a real man would do". He can't be with a guy, he can't have emotions. He can't cry. It's the only way some of these "fans" will actually like Midoriya. If he "gets his girl" at the end. Even though the story never was about them like that. Hell, if it was, Uraraka would have been introduced in the first episode and Midoriya would have some monologue about liking her or she is seen admiring him from afar behind some trees.

They don't care for his or Uraraka's characters like that.

Sexist and misogynistic, indeed!

Second, damn, can these kids like finish school first? We really need a timeskip where they're married? Like they can't beat the bad guys first?

Like I want a graduation timeskip! Ain't this story about how Midoriya and the others become great heroes? Last time I checked, marriage isn't needed for them to be good heroes. If it was a requirement, All Might would have been married.

And the harem thing? Ooooh, the amount of headaches I have probably gotten from going into certain tags on AO3 and here and seeing Midoriya being shipped with every single female character before I can get to the filter and exclude buttons.

I just can't sometimes, Anon.

I know a lot of Shonen and other genres in anime and any other media have certain tropes they use over and over, but sometimes it's nice to break away from said tropes.

Off topic kinda, but speaking of harems and girls, I love how in canon that they girls don't harbor romantic feelings over Midoriya and fight with each other. I also love that while they express Todoroki's pretty boy status, they don't fight over him either. They mention he's handsome and move on. Like I love that right there.

When some common tropes are taken and twisted into something a little more tolerable or feels not so played out.

[demonsfate]

Me when I see an unhinged reddit post from one of *those* Kaz stans: Jin get behind me!!!!! Seriously though. Sometimes I think we all play/read/watch Tekken content differently bc what on earth are they on? Lmao. Not saying they are all like that, but still.

LOL. I deleted those posts 'cos I felt like I was ranting a lil too much, maybe getting too worked up. But the thing is, I wouldn't even care about these takes. Because everyone has a different take, and sometimes there are people with bad ones. But the problem is, the "Kazuya did nothing wrong and is being villainized only because he opposes Heihachi and Jin" is a POPULAR take. Not only do I see it more than I should, but the fact that I go to the comments and see a(n un)healthy amount of people agreeing with the take is just... so wild. I really feel like sometimes I am transported to an alternate reality where Tekken is totally different.

I really just thought we'd... stop getting these takes after the demo. Because yeah, while it didn't help Jin's character that much, but... Kazuya is literally threatening genocide, boasting about how for "as long as he lives, people will die" and also tried to kill innocent people in the middle of the street. I thought that would make people realize Kazuya is indeed a full blown villain who has done a lot wrong. But no... strangely it has not. It's just so bewildering to me.

Again, it's okay to dislike Jin. I understand it. He got done dirty in Tek6, and they're not doing the greatest job at writing him. But I just can't stand it when people put him down for things Kazuya is doing, or when Kazuya is arguably worse than Tek6 Jin. You can't hate Jin for [doing war crimes] and feeling remorse, but then acting like Kazuya is better despite [doing more war crimes] with zero remorse. It's just a bizarre mindset.

Also, to the point where they're reaching and actually hating Jin for crashing Kazuya's helicopter and destroying buildings?? They're actually saying Jin is killing hundreds and that proves he isn't a good person. Like are they being serious? In both Avengers and Superman (Man of Steel) - scenes like this happen. Where the superpowered heroes are fighting the superpowered villains and buildings are just wrecked left and right, cars are tossed around like they're softballs. But nobody in those movies ever bring up the casualties caused by the heroes, how many lives were lost because of the heroes. Nobody calls Captain America a careless villain. You know why? Because these are FICTIONAL ACTION SERIES. Yes, realistically, in real life, destroying big buildings and blowing up things would kill hundreds. But real life is boring. When you're watching an action game or movie, you want to see lots of action - action includes destruction. You don't wanna see the characters carefully fight in the streets, that slows the action down. That's why heroes can get away with destroying stuff, because it's entertaining to watch. The people in the building don't actually exist, they're not even seen, so we don't have to actually acknowledge them. And I get joking about this - but there are fans that are legit villainizing Jin for this. Like people are talking about this rather than Kazuya literally saying he's gonna wipe out countries lmao.

I guess I just get really tired of the hate Jin receives. Whilst I understand Tek6 will cause people to dislike Jin - but it's unfair to hate him but then act like Kazuya is good despite doing the same actions as Jin (if not worse actions). It's unfair when they hate Jin for being "emo" and saying he's annoying because... he hates the devil gene??? Go figure. And then the weird homophobic hate against him he gets sometimes? (Like there are a weird amount of ppl that calls him slurs) It really just feels like a lot of ppl just pick any reason to hate this character. Jin tries to do good, fans hate him for wanting to kill Kaz and not accepting the devil gene (lolwhut) Jin does bad like in Tek6, suddenly he's the worst character who's irredeemable but the other bad guys are totally redeemable (or not even bad at al!)

[unlimitedhorsepower]

I made a joke once that makes Ryan seem a little homophobic if u don't consider him automatically LGBT all at once and someone left some tags on that post pointing it out and agreeing and I've been tormented by that ever since.

Tormented by thinking people think Ryan is specifically homophobic or misogynist. Even if you consider him a 100% cishet metrosexual he's cringe and fail at worst!!

Ever since he was created his personality trait has explicitly been "treats everyone equally". He's just insufferable and annoying, not bigoted I swear!!!! That goes against his character bc the point is imo that he seems like the worst guy ever like if you met him you would be like wow look at this megamisogynist rolling in but then you realize that he's not specifically misogynist he just makes you wanna rip ur hair out in general.

He doesn't bother women. He bothers everyone. His worst canon moment is when he gave his number to a waitress and a personal trainer like pls these women are doing their jobs... Albeit other texted him the same evening and Ryan's other skill is insight so one would hope he's not being a problem

On the other hand he equally bothered Yuri at work in the manga by being like hi here's my gift and literally shows up at Barnaby'a door in that one audio drama even tho Barnaby told him he's busy

To me Ryan is the person who didn't think too hard about anything in his life and in fact actively avoids it so he isn't totally sure gay people are real but he's more concerned whether the gays are attracted to him or not bc they better be.

Ryan slept with a girl with a dick and brought this up to Nathan who was about to euthanize him but he was just confused how come she was wearing a dress without a bulge. Like where was the dick before that. He's so distraught like do women have secret magical powers. Sometimes he would like to seem like his cock is less fat too, so how come... Explain that Nathan. Where do the balls go

Tormented by Ryan and Nathan not hanging out more. They love fashion and vehicles and muscles etc. Nathan needs to take Ryan to a gay bar so bad so that one tweet can come true, the one that goes "white boy shocks bartender by ordering in fluent LGBT". See my vision???? TNB hates women and gay ppl too much OK but in a better world .

[sexybabystevie]

Just saw your post about b/ler and their stans hating on everyone and I have to agree.

Like, I don't mind discussing little theories, but the way they go about things it's super annoying. Like the whole blue meets yellow in the west shit like that was a thing for scoops. idk why you make it about b/ler. Or saying Mike dressed up in yellow at the airport for Will when El's favorite color is also yellow. When they complain about other characters having screentime, I have to laugh because they manage to make anything about that ship anyway, so it shouldn't matter so much in the end. They act like this ship is the foundation of the show when Will is barely a real character because he doesn't even have a personality other than the gay kid who disappeared. And the fandom hardly develops his character because his relationship with Mike is the only thing they talk about. (And before ppl complain, other characters are underdeveloped as well, but I don't put them on a pedestal and call them the main character of the show like they do with Will)

Their treatment of El in all of this is the most upsetting part. Similar to Steve, she isn't allowed to be hurt or upset if others do something (aka r/nance, b/ler). Like they should all be super supportive allys, and if they are upset, they are deemed as homophobic or terrible friends.

I think the saddest part what i've read about b/ler was people insisting that Mike never loved El and had always feelings for Will, which is so cruel? In general, making m/leven important to Mike is not a thing in the b/ler fandom because they don't want Mike to be bi, which idk what the problem is with that. I just think they are scared that Mike is still interested in girls is threatening their ship or whatever.

Anyway, what I also hate when discussing b/ler is that they simply make El a lesbian in order so she doesn't feel bad instead of letting her deal with complicated feelings. Like in s4, Mike's inability to say he loves her clearly upsets El, meaning she does have feelings for Mike that are beyond a friendship level. It's also weird that they take away El's agency and reduce her to this abused child who doesn't know about anything so she shouldn't be in a relationship because she can't know what love is. (Ignoring s2 and her learning throughout the tv about the world and feelings and making her own decision regarding that part.) If we go that route non of the kids should know about love bc they are all traumatised and fucking 14 lol. And then they break up lumax so Max and El are together and everyone is happy? (Forgetting about Lucas) Also, idk crossdating within a friend group is so messy, but people just take the complicated parts out.

Also, what I found not discussed enough is the Will and El relationship. Like yes, Will likes Mike, but El is his sister. He also loves her. And tbh I think he would have reservations about dating his sisters ex-boyfriend because he cares about her. Maybe El gives them their blessing, but Will would know that she's hurting, so he might not follow through because he values the sibling bond with El more.

In general, I hate when there are ships that have to be so clean and liked by every character that is around. They don't exist in a vaccum, other people esp those who have close relationships with the people in those ships (ex-partners, best friends, siblings etc) might have negative reactions to it which is fine. That doesn’t mean they are homophobic it means they feel betrayed by a friend or sibling who dates their ex they loved for a very long time.

I like the theory of b/ler, but people take out the complexities that come with the ship. And then when you point them out, you're the worst person on earth, and your fave deserves to die. (esp Steve)

(Sorry, this is long. You don't have to answer. I just needed to vent a bit)

oh my gosh, no worries at all about this being on the longer side of asks! i don't mind at all and actually really like talking about this stuff and you brought up so many good points! since this is longer, though, i'm gonna put my thoughts under the cut <3

firstly, the theories CAN be fun. emphasis on can because they aren't anymore. b/lers make it clear that you pretty much have to agree with every single point they make, treating every single detail as canon rather than a theory, and it's exhausting. some of the ones i read a while back were genuinely interesting and fun! but when you take away the actual idea of it being a theory and just insist upon it being the truth, then going as far to call other people who don't agree/who are skeptical stupid or homophobic or some other name they come up with, then it makes people not want to interact with you.

i'm gonna be really honest here and say that i think all this stuff about blue and yellow is really ridiculous. i mean, they're quite literally colors. not saying there's no literary meaning to colors, but implying that every time we see blue and yellow in the show is some secret b/ler symbolism is just... so bizarre. (again, this could have been a fun little thing, but they take everything SO seriously and are such negative people that any amount of enjoyment is immediately stripped away just because you can't even have a civil disagreement with them without getting accused of being homophobic or without getting loads of anon hate.)

you said "When they complain about other characters having screentime, I have to laugh because they manage to make anything about that ship anyway, so it shouldn't matter so much in the end." and THANK YOU for wording that so well. this is what i've been trying to say for a while now, but i couldn't word it correctly. b/lers go out and make every single hint of foreshadowing, every single character and their personalities or arcs all about mike and will (because they for some reason are convinced this show is just a massive great love story for the two of them, and to that i have to say that this show has an ensemble cast. the other characters will and SHOULD have their own personalities, arcs, etc, that do NOT tie into b/ler) so why should it be a problem that a character is gaining popularity? if everything really is about b/ler like they claim then it should be no big deal to assume that this completely unrelated character exists entirely for the sake of your ship, right? it's honestly ridiculous.

also, yeah, will is barely even a character. he barely has any screentime that's spent creating his character, despite the fact that i think he's an essential point to the show. he's more of a plotline than a person, and i think blaming anyone other than the duffers for that makes no sense. fictional characters don't write themselves??

as for treatment of el, i made a post forever ago the parallels between steve and el as characters, and i think that goes for here too. they're both essential characters at this point, they're heroes, but even still b/lers treat both of them terribly. with el, it's pushing her to the side, dehumanizing her in a very ableist way, etc, and with steve, its much the same. dehumanizing, pushing him to the side, not allowing either of these characters to have feelings about their best friends/close friends dating their exes, and its just not realistic and its also weird. to enjoy a ship is one thing, but to push it onto everyone else and actively hate on other people who don't like it (which, by the way, you literally do not have to have "valid reason" to dislike a ship. you can just not like/hate it and that should be fine!!!) is immature and exhausting.

interestingly enough, i think b/lers mainly view el and steve the same way - an "overrrated" character, probably some part of why they hate the "general audience"/"fanservice", and, interestingly, i think there's also this idea that they're both basic in some way. like, steve is the "basic" straight white guy (idk why there's anything wrong with that??) and el is either a misinformed, confused lesbian or a pathetic straight girl too and its... so exhausting as well because characters can be queer without having to be mike and will!!! (and in the view of el they can also be queer without breaking up other important ships just for the sake of b/ler??) the amount of times i see people say that people are homophobic for having steve or el as their favorites is just... why? like, going on some kind of homophobia-yelling witch hunt isn't going to make anyone like you or your ship that you're so heavily promoting.

and with mike, i've seen some people (the more tolerable ones, i think) say he's bi while others insist he has no attraction to girls whatsoever, and i don't know, i think people read into it too much just to go and discredit el's relationship with him. if they can go and say, "oh, their relationship wasn't important to mike OR el so now we win!!" then they can convince themselves that b/ler is endgame, everything is happy for them, there are no problems, etc, which, again, is unrealistic. breakups are messy even if both parties were not to feel romantically about the other, and especially when you're gonna go and date someone in your group again. like, i've personally seen situations like that entirely destroy friend groups, time and time again, but let's ignore that for the sake of b/ler!

(also side point that goes along with what you're saying - they're literally 14!! i think so many people forget that since the actors look older or whatever, but like... they're children.)

the will and el relationship is always ignored and never talked about because it doesn't fit in the b/ler agenda (unless they assume that el is a lesbian and therefore doesn't care about will going on to date mike). which honestly is a shame because i love their dynamic but i also would rather not hear thoughts about that from b/lers anyway, but regardless it's a major plothole in their plans that they all just totally ignore because the only solutions to it are severely out of character.

i honestly don't think there's anything wrong with shipping m/leven or b/ler, if you're not insane about it. the b/lers heavily despise people who ship mike and eleven and go on to call them homophobic (are we sensing a trend here?) or whatever else, and i honestly haven't seen enough m/leven shippers here to know what they're doing so i won't put words into their mouth or whatever. either way, there's this general distaste and shunning that happens of anyone who doesn't like b/ler or ships something else and i'm personally so tired of it. i don't ship either of these because i just don't care that much (and also these people ruined it for me) but shipping m/leven does not make you inherently homophobic, and shipping b/ler does not automatically make you annoying in the way that most of them are.

now that i've kinda covered your thoughts, i want to add a few more points of my own that i think of every time this situation arises.

one, i think a large chunk of the toxicity of the b/ler community comes down to the fact that they worship the ground the duffers walk on. and this is a general thing that a lot of people and some of the media do, where they dramatize how good the show is and hype it up to be some untouchable, perfect series, which is far from the truth. they're convinced the duffers are on their side (b/ler endgame) and thus can do no wrong. (also a very weird way to act when they go and hate every other character CREATED by the duffers - but oh no! they didn't do it because they wanted to or because they like other characters too, it's all because of the general audience and how they just fuck everything up!!).

which, this is just setting them all up for failure. no one is getting this perfect dream of an ending, and i think if anyone knows this, it's the steve fans. we are painfully aware of the fact that our fave will either die or will have some shitty ending that none of us want, and b/lers are on the other side of the spectrum where they think everything will end perfectly for them, and you're just setting yourself up for colossal disappointment. every little hidden clue or theory that you've come up with is not going to be true, every bit of "foreshadowing" isn't going to pan out, and that's just a fact. the duffers simply are not as good as these people want to think lol.

secondly, i think the treatment of el and steve is also very similar in the viewing of their love triangles. there's st/ncy vs j/ncy and m/leven vs b/ler, and in both of these situations, everything is always one person's fault when people don't get their way - el and steve. if j/ncy happens and steve's fine with it, then people have to talk about how shitty of a boyfriend he supposedly was. if j/ncy happens and steve's upset, then it's on him for, again, being shitty and "deserving" to be alone. if st/ncy happens then it's steve's fault for having feelings or being a popular character or some other bullshit that makes no sense. and in the case of el, will and mike, it's the same. b/ler happens and el's upset, it's her fault for caring about her boyfriend. b/ler happens and el isn't upset, it's her fault for NOT caring. m/leven happens, then el is primarily the problem because SHE loves mike and cares about mike and "only gets all these things because she is a popular character."

overall, it's just pointing fingers, making excuses, and acting like babies 24/7 until they cry enough to get their way, honestly.

[tavtarnish]

So I was looking at soap's wiki page and it says that he visited his cousin in the SAS many times and also tried to join under aged a few times, right? Well it doesn't say why, tho. And any normal person would assume that he wanted to join so bad because of his cousin. But im not normal so I got to thinking.well even if he did join just because of that cousin, that doesn't explain why whe tried to join early. Multiple times. So obviously there is atleast another factor in this situation. And we've all established his thing for hating himself, just a bit, and he's definitely not a straight man. And well homosexual and military down exactly sound like a the most delicious martini. And I'm not exactly caught up on Scotland's ally status, nor have I found much info about his family. So what if this was his way of self punishment for being a gay man?

But, El, what if he didn't realize his sexuality until aftet he joined? Or his family was supportive? An excellent question. If it wasn't that maybe it was because he had no direction in life. Perhaps he felt lost. Academics maybe weren't his strong suit, or he burnt out at somepoint, so college (university?) Wasn't an option. Maybe his parents said either higher education or a job, right?(yes I'm heavily projecting onto this poor man, I'm sorry but you also can't stop me) In today's day and age it is becoming increasingly difficult to find a job without a college degree. And jobs like that can always be unstable or underpaid or overworked, understaffed, unnecessarily dangerous, and a multitude of other things. But the military? Well you know what you're signing up for, you really only have to do as your told and no more, and you can do alot of good. Plus he already has a cousin in there.

Or maybe its as simple as his family has/had money issued and the military gives good pay?

Also apparently I left a comment on the latest chapter of I.S.B.T.P.K.F.T.S and I don't remember lol. Also I promise the next part of my favorite moments is coming out. I've been very busy lately. Sorry for the long ask

I've had SO many thoughts about Soap joining the military ESPECIALLY the fact he tried to join at 16 but was refused. You are allowed to join the military at 16 with parental consent, so I've come to the conclusion that his parents wouldn't like the fact that he wanted to be in the military - this tracks considering many Scots who see them self separate from Brits aren't typically the biggest fans of joining UK collective things like the military (this is coming from my Irish bg so it could be different).

As to why he wanted to join, I think there are multiple reasons, but if his queerness is a reason I would think its less to do with punishing himself (though sometimes it may feel like a punishment being around Ghost when Soap wants him so badly) and more to do with him possibly avoiding telling his family. Scotland as a whole recently is quite up there in ally status but that 1) doesn't reflect how the 2000's/2010's were 2) doesn't mean everyone is an ally ofc. Anyway, the MacTavishes aren't homophobic in any regard but that doesn't mean Soap knows that or isn't scared (either bc he's never seen his family react to queer people irl or, if he has, he'll think he'll be an exception).

Other causes likely are due to his school career: he was a footballer, but I don't think he ever tried to go pro, and in ISBTPKFTS the backstory I've given him wouldn't allow him to (W.C status and home life). And you make a great point with burnout - if we're sticking to real rules of the army, he wouldn't be able to be medicated or have lesson plan adjustments for his ADHD if he's diagnosed (i think I read that somewhere) so he's either not diagnosed or he never had accommodations so burnout is very likely. Uni, of course, would seem like a horrible thing for him, even if he was like many ppl who go to uni for the experience or bc of the job market.

But the idea that his parents expecting him to get a job or go to uni is very real (dw I'm also projecting here) and the monotonous work/life balance sounded like hell. Knowing his cousin's life in the army definitely planted the seed, and I think (in the fic at least) he'd visit his cousin to get some free time away from home but it ends up convincing him of what he wanted to do with his life. Like you said, you know what you sign up for with the army. He probably didn't expect the RSD to follow him especially if he isn't diagnosed, or if he's not very clued up on that part of his ADHD,hence why he can't rationalise his own feelings when they start to overwhelm him

Also dont be sorry and there's no rush I love that you even want to make those posts in the first place!! Thank you

[tottymatsuno]

Since I'm writing it I think the atsutodo dynamic is only good when it has three main characteristics

- Todomatsu is the Dom + top

- Atsushi has avoidant attachment

- they're both bisexual and repressed

Otherwise it's very bland and boring to me. While I like stuff where Atsushi is chasing Totty, I also think that Todomatsu wouldn't necessarily be any different than how Atsushi treats women. In the brief interactiona we see of Atsushi, he uses his stuff in order to flirt (bribes), but also isn't really able to hold a conversation with them afterwards. He's also lonely, histrionic (THAT SUICIDE SHITAHDJAJSJ) and wasn't even particularly overwhelmed with emotions like Sachi or Aida (w/e one) ran up to him

I would say it's bc he has no trouble attracting ppl (neither does Totty tbh, Totty gets numbers a lot and has a whole cast of female friends who enjoy his company even tho they started out flirty) but instead maintaining those connections. We see Atsushi go thru a few girls throughout the series and like Totty none of those relationships really progress far. Like my man's gets to level 2 and then game overs.

I think it's bc Atsushi is emotionally unavailable, and preoccupied with reliving his high school days (a reach ik) but has fallen out with the majority of his previous friends specifically bc they demanded too much of him.

I think the reason why Totty gets to stick around is bc Todomatsus unwilling to stop using Atsushi, the familiarity of their long term friendship, and also bc when girls aren't around he does enjoy Atsushi's company a lot. And Atsushi values that he knows Todomatsu doesn't really like him, therefore has no emotional demands that can't be exchanged for bribes (women who've dumped him, coworkers, social status thru affiliation)

I also just don't see Todomatsu being topped by anyone ik that I'm the CEO of Dom top Totty but I can't imagine that he'd be okay with Atsushi of all ppl getting in his hole. I think Todomatsu would be like - vaguely homophobic too, like the sorta guy who thinks lesbians are hot and every man's flirting with him but he's not gay. Like a gay for pay sorta dude who hasn't found anyone willing to pay yet. (NOW IF YOU REALLLY ASKED ME I'D SAY HE'S A TRANSBIAN BUT THATS A WHOLE DIFFERENT CONVERSATION ENTIRELY)

Anyways that's why atsutodo still hang out. Todomatsu doesn't want to be a close friend to Atsushi, which in turn makes Atsushi feel safe bc he actually would want to be friends with Totty. I also think Atsushi is used to being showered with affection, compliments and cheering which Todomatsu doesn't provide which is also like a good and bad thing for Atsushi.

So yeah my peak atsutodo. They are not sweeties to each other, they are two men in their 30s who refuse to talk about their feelings or why Atsushi keeps getting drunk and asking to give Todomatsu a handie and why it turns him on further when Todomatsu says ew, no kys