#bc i think it's the second one bc i dropped to 105 pounds by doing that a few yrs ago
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i lost the weight and i am elated! but also! so terrified!
#like i'm not sure if i lost weight bc i was smoking weed#which i cannot do when i'm not in school bc i need to be Really Stressed for it to make me feel good#or if i lost weight because i started Eating Things I Can't Digest On Purpose#bc i think it's the second one bc i dropped to 105 pounds by doing that a few yrs ago#but i'm sosososososososo scared#like.#it becomes almost moralistic#people just think you're a Worse Person when you're bigger#even by a little#i want to be a tree#i hate being a girl#i hate knowing that i'll probably end up 120 lbs again#because i will and the thought nauseates me
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