#bc Ultimately there's not really a way to 'help' someone else out of this situation - Tim tried and failed Repeatedly

[ceramicbeetle]

actually it's kind of funny how people will say Alex's fatal flaw is that he 'doesn't ask for help' and that it's his determination to handle things on his own that leads to his deterioration and eventual death when his whole introduction to the present-day timeline was a very literal cry for help that simply went ignored

[super-paper]

I know you were pretty checked out already by this point, but what were your thoughts on Deku’s conclusion in the last chapter?

Some good ideas, but even the good aspects of his conclusion sadly feel bogged down by poor execution/characterization + literally everything that led up to the final chapter.

I do think Izuku becoming a teacher was probably the most fitting ending for his character as a whole, but tbh, I would have taken it a step further and had him become an elementary school/middle school teacher rather than a teacher at UA.

That is to say: Izuku working at UA-- a highly exclusive school that only accepts "the best of the best" and children who are already on track to becoming heroes-- sadly makes him inaccessible to the type of students who need him most, I feel? His chance meeting with Dai only reinforces that tbh. If that child hadn't tripped or if Izuku hadn't happened to be right there, Dai would would still be feeling miserable and discouraged because no one in his class bothered to stand up for him-- Not even his own teacher. Like I understand the purpose of the scene (to parallel Toshi's first meeting with Izuku and show that Izuku is now inspiring others to be heroes in the same way) but that doesn't stop it from feeling more manipulative than truly heartfelt imho, bc Dai's existence only highlights the issues still deeply ingrained in hero society rather than inspiring any sort of hope for its future lmfao.

Anyway! Back to teacher Izuku-- I do love the idea of Izuku becoming someone who would have helped his child self! (and who could've possibly stepped in to help children like Tenko, Himiko, and Touya) (Honestly, kindergarten teacher Izuku is also a possibility that makes me go 👀👀👀). But again, him teaching at UA specifically kind of undermines the idea of him becoming hero for children like himself (or tenko/himiko/touya/etc). I think that the scene with Dai could have worked a lot better (or at least felt more emotionally genuine) with Izuku as his actual teacher, maybe?

I also think Izuku as a kindergarten/elementary school/middle school teacher (or any sort of educator outside of a hero course, really truly #beatingthatdeadhorse) would have eased the sting from how deeply and terribly the finale fumbled his dynamic with Tenko, too— Izuku actually reflecting on how AFO completely abused his position as Tenko's "teacher," and then resolving to become the sort of teacher that Tenko needed.... Izuku using what he learned from Tenko’s past to better identify abused children and using his new position/power in society to advocate for them/get them out of those situations early.... framing it this way would have really sold the “I’ll never forget him” promise, bc as it stands now, that promise ultimately just comes across as more hollow lip service from Izuku. ☠️

As for Iron Deku... if I'm being honest, it just doesn’t hit the same way for me as Iron Might did? Like I've gone into detail on why Iron Might works for me before both here and on twitter:

Iron Might worked for me because it was ultimately used as a vehicle to tell/complete Toshi's story and helped tie together the underlying themes that connected him to Tenko and AFO's arcs. Like it might not have been perfectly implemented bc Hori decided to make it an 11th hour surprise for the sake of building hype/suspense in the readers, but this combination of factors still made Iron Might work for me. Iron Might itself was not the answer to "can someone w/o a quirk be a hero like you?," Toshi's willingness to act when no one else was able to was the answer. He retains his heroic shading even after the armor is stripped away and after he's left entirely at AFO's mercy.

At the same time/Conversely.... I feel like "Iron Deku" just muddies the overall message of the series in the end:

Again, Toshinori's answer to "Can someone without a quirk be a hero like you" wasn't Iron Might-- It was "Yes, because you always work hard and never give up on your dreams/because you're someone who could never let his dream die."

......... only for Izuku to more or less let said dream die after losing his quirk. Like????? (like, another big problem with heroaca's tone is that it keeps trying to prop Izuku up as "someone who never gives up" when he does, in fact, end up giving up in some fairly big ways with some fairly big consequences-- Like, even though the series tries to skirt around saying it outright, Izuku did ultimately give up on saving Tenko and chose to treat him as collateral to AFO. Like... it's okay to have your protagonist get discouraged/give up, but in cases like this, I expect the narrative to actually acknowledge it as such instead of trying to convince the reader otherwise. Attempting to gloss over Izuku's failure with sugary-sweet platitudes after the series spent 400+ chapters deriding platitudes and defining actual true saving as "saving their their hearts and their lives" is the type of shit that results in a complete breakdown of trust between the author/reader.)

At any rate, yeah. Izuku's conclusion had a few good ideas that were sadly weighed down by poor/rushed execution and mixed/unclear messaging-- and sadly, the epilogue/final chapter did nothing to fix the huge problems with his character writing throughout the entirety of Act 3. It's a shame bc Act 1 & 2 (and even early Act 3) Izuku really was one of my favorite characters, but at some point his writing took a complete nose dive that Hori sadly wasn't able to pull out of. :/

[trickstarbrave]

Actually b4 I sleep:

I see in the bg3 arguments (carried over from ppl rules lawyering 5e too hard) that if a character wants to do something it is unethical or “gross” to use persuasion rolls to convince them out of it. Examples: that you should let Astarion ascend because he wants to, or let Shadowheart become a dark justiciar because “it’s all she’s ever wanted”

These arguments are stupid.

Normally I don’t go hard on the “this is a stupid argument” bc most of the time complex moral situations require nuance and you shouldn’t try and call ppl stupid for differing perspectives but. No this one is stupid.

Persuasion rolls are not magical mind control. They are literally using the force of charisma (whole other conversation but again it isn’t mind control) to talk about something to a character and have them see it from different perspectives. High rolls are not you overriding their will power or decision making—if they rly didn’t wanna, they wouldn’t do it. You can do this for objectively horrible end goals, but also good ones.

Not to gamify real life tragedies but IRL, talking someone down from a suicide attempt would be a charisma roll (I’ve been suicidal so I’m using this example). The person really “wants” to kill themselves—or at least, they really think they do. This isn’t a choice made in a vacuum. Ultimately people want to die when they think there is no way out of their problems be it bad mental health, abuse they’re constantly subjected to, insane amounts of debt they feel they’ll never be able to pay off, social isolation, grief, and so on. It can be a combination of factors, but really what they ACTUALLY want is a solution to the problems that are overwhelming them and making them feel like being alive is worse than being dead. Talking someone down from suicide is not a BAD thing to do. In fact it would be morally bad to go “well we have to let people do what they want. Go for it man here’s a loaded gun and some pills”. But you have to persuade them to help them. Because they’re in a really dark place and can’t see reason.

Shadowheart was raised in a cult. She doesn’t actually want to be a dark justiciar, she wants to feel accomplished and like she belongs. She has been punished, isolated, and hurt her whole childhood and had her suffering justified by those in power above her. She’s been abused and told being a dark justiciar is the best thing a sharran can be. That it is the height of Shar worship. And that Shar took her in and “loved” her when “no one else wanted her”. Her ideals and goals are built upon lies and abuse. You, as an outsider, can give her that perspective and tell her that no matter how hard it gets she is worthy of love and can uncover the lies used to cover up and erase her past. She is just so narrowed in on what she thinks is “right” based on what she’s grown up with that she is not thinking for herself, she’s falling back on cult doctrine to think for her.

Astarion “wants” to ascend because he wants to feel like no one can ever hurt him again. He wants to spite Cazador. He wants to feel safe. And not worry about burning in the sun too. But are those things worth your actual fucking soul and your ability to love and connect with other people? No. Astarion doesn’t actually want the power, he doesn’t actually want to rule the world, and this power will not actually keep him safe. He has mistaken power for freedom because of 200 years of abuse and also was almost killed via human sacrifice like a minute prior (turns in dnd are only 6 seconds). He isn’t exactly thinking rationally give he’s been free for a week and nearly died a few seconds prior. He’s running on base instincts. He’s leaning into the lies Cazador has drilled into his head: the weak suffer because they are weak and the only way to be safe is to be the strongest person around. But this is an ideology that isn’t true. Cazador wasn’t safe. He wouldn’t have been safe even ascended. Astarion won’t be either. It’s literally a Faustian bargain and the game hits you over the damn head with it multiple times. Talking him out of it means you to see Astarion for who he is: as a person beyond his abuse and what makes him useful or not.

Hell, on a smaller level, Wyll wanted to kill Karlach. You can find out very easily though that she’s not actually a bad person, it’s just a technicality of Wyll’s contract. Or are you gonna say Karlach is manipulative and immoral for telling the truth and pleading for her life??? Because it’s getting in the way of what Wyll wants to do! Mizora told him she’s heartless! He’ll suffer if he doesn’t! Gale wants to blow himself up and thinks it’s the right choice, better miss out on all of act 3 because why are you trying to convince him out of it???

You can still ofc make different choices in any storyline bc this is s video game I’m not here to tell you what you can and can’t do. Just arguing “actually it’s morally bad that I have to roll persuasion—“ is a dumb argument I need people to stop making.

[capcollector]

sorry if this is too much but how did bunny, leon, and alfredo meet their main companions?

not too much at all! unless you meant how many times this ask came through bc yes it came in several times😭 anyway can’t promise these responses won’t be a million words tho

in general it plays out basically as it does in-game, though in some cases i tweak the circumstances or conversations slightly (and in some cases certain companions never travel with them at all; leon’s probably the best example of this, with ppl like butch or jericho never joining him).

i actually imagine alfredo having the most…variety(?) of companions he travels with, as in i think he spends pretty equal time amongst all of them during his travels, often with a few at a time. it’s funny bc he’s comparatively the most averse to having companions but. he’s made some friends😔 anyway i’ll get into more specifics under the cut

ig for the sake of this, i’ll say “main companions” are the ones my characters become closest to and decidedly travel with the most. this is undoubtedly gonna delve into me talking about my MC’s and their closest relationships so i apologize in advance😭

LEON

so in leon’s case, that would be charon and fawkes. so leon knew right outta the vault he needed someone to help him. he was a scrawny 19-year-old vaultie med student—he was certain he would die if he didn’t get help from somewhere. so when he winds up in underworld and sees what he assumed was a 7ft bodyguard for hire, he’s knows immediately he needs someone like that. ofc, once leon learns the situation, he absolutely refuses to kill anyone. so he barely scrapes together the money and buys the contract. and ofc watches as charon just as suddenly blows ahzrukhal to bits, but by this point he’s seen so much already he just. fine. whatever. he grabs the caps off what’s left of ahzrukhal, takes whatever’s left in his own pockets, and hands them all to charon, telling him he’s hiring him as a bodyguard.

and for awhile it stays strictly professional. charon is there when leon and james reunite, and he’s there when james ultimately dies. he gets to see leon at his best and worst. and it’s like. suddenly charon is left with this kid and still not knowing how to talk to him, let alone comfort him.

immediately following james’ death, after they’ve escaped to the citadel, leon just needs to get out of there and charon follows bc. what else is he gonna do. charon doesn’t know what to say. leon doesn’t say anything either. they’re staring at the water’s edge when suddenly leon spots what looks like a child all by himself in the middle of these dangerous city ruins. leon, looking for any means of distraction, rushes over while charon follows. it’s bryan wilks, the kid begging for help bc of the fire ants attacking his home. leon springs into action bc he needs to do anything but think about what just happened. so they start clearing out the ants together and. well. they’re both kinda having fun playing exterminator. and maybe it’s getting a smile out of leon too. suddenly makes him feel less weird to be around, y’know? but all at once they realize bryan’s father is also dead. and leon doesn’t want to let him feel the way he feels so they search for the source. charon is there as leon and the scientist talk about the ants, as leon kills the ant queen, and as leon seriously considers taking out the scientist in a fit of grief when the man’s turned around. he ultimately walks away.

this was based on the actual gameplay in leon’s file, just how the timing worked out between quests, but it was a really great coincidence. and it’s during that ant quest that the walls fall down a bit and an actual friendship begins to form. maybe it’s the result of being there for such traumatic moments for leon but charon finds himself starting to care about him and it’s unfamiliar but they keep doing these quests and finding these places together and it’s like. oh. and suddenly leon can’t imagine going anywhere without charon, without his friend.

so they keep exploring the capital wasteland together, growing closer with each day. they find little lamplight together and subsequently find vault 87 together.

and suddenly leon is kidnapped by the enclave. and while charon tries to go with fawkes, fawkes insists he do it alone and charon goes back to underworld. eventually fawkes returns with leon and leon goes back to underworld to reunite w charon and tell him that…he doesn’t need to travel with him anymore. that he can’t ask him to keep doing this shit bc he knows this doesn’t really concern charon. but it’s like. that’s where he’s wrong. he wouldn’t outright say it but he knows he would care if leon was gone. charon tells him he must keep traveling with him bc “that was the deal,” and leon understands what he means.

i’ll cut myself off here bc i’ve rambled for long enough, but charon and leon’s dynamic is deeply important to my canon.

leon meets fawkes just as it plays out in canon. i like to think leon, charon, and fawkes all travel together at times, especially near the end of the main story. fawkes is the one who goes into the chamber, and when leon falls into his coma, charon and fawkes stay by him until he wakes up. and honestly, he couldn’t have asked for anything better to wake up to.

ok cutting myself off for real this time but please feel free to ask more about this dynamic bc i promise there’s plenty more to say. leon and charon also go to point lookout together post-main story. ok. moving on.

ALFREDO

ok i’ll try to hold myself back more going over the other ones. key word being try. anyway for alfredo, while he does end up traveling w all of them, i’d say his closest are veronica, arcade (kinda), and raúl.

alfredo meets his companions pretty much exactly as it goes in-game. i think veronica is the first one he meets properly, and she sticks around as one of the people he’s gotten closest to. he’s still pretty amnesic when he meets her, and he’s just kinda like. sure. whatever. follow me if you want idgaf. you look capable. but they don’t really become closer until after his memory comes back. so we’ll circle back to them in a minute.

similarly alfredo meets arcade when he’s still trying to remember himself, and though in-game he recruited arcade through the confirmed bachelor perk, i like to think alfredo never actually overtly flirted with him. rather, arcade found himself weirdly attracted to him. maybe it’d just been awhile since the last time he’d had a man, but something about alfredo. he has a certain magnetism, that confidence that comes from just accepting your good and bad qualities. strangely compelling. and maybe if he’s really lucky the sex will be good (it’s not).

but jokes aside, arcade is the one there for when alfredo really regains his memory. this is something that happens pretty early on in alfredo’s story, around the end of the first act/beginning of the second. arcade was there when alfredo told him about the fragments he had coming back, the pieces he kept seeing but couldn’t really explain, and he’s there when alfredo just completely breaks down in the middle of the desert one night. bc all at once it feels like everything just makes sense, all at once alfredo’s forced to confront the truth. he remembers who he was. he remembers how he got to this point. arcade gets to be one of the only people who’s seen this once-infamous mercenary sob.

but y’know. once alfredo regains himself, he does recruit ppl easier. he remembers how to talk to ppl and not so much rely on his intimidating presence (tho i mean. he still uses that too). he and arcade start sleeping together, but it’s more of a friends with benefits situation. but perhaps it grows into something more fond…? if alfredo will allow himself that much.

anyway. circling back to veronica in particular, alfredo becomes genuinely fond of her. her spirit reminds him of his daughter, and as such he feels comforted having her around. he’ll never say no to her. he calls her ronnie. pretty obvious favoritism and veronica knows it.

and coming back to raúl—he’s one of the first companions who joins post-memory returning. this is honestly just a case of them being on similar wavelengths. i think alfredo just appreciates raúl’s attitude, reminds him of ppl he used to know. they’ve both been around a long time and seen and experienced so much shit, and alfredo does find it nice to have someone who can relate a little more closely to that. he also just thinks he’s funny, tho alfredo’s never really been one to like. laugh really hard at things. but raúl can get a dry chuckle outta him so. that’s something.

BUNNY

bunny’s interesting bc i think she has the most, idk, reach? she builds up a whole community post-game, so her relationships are crucial. and she continues to have all these relationships after the main game bc of how important it is to the larger world. with that in mind, i’ll be highlighting relationships based slightly more on the main game, but just remember (as i’ve talked about before) her relationship w ppl like preston and desdemona are vital to the larger post-game community. and some dynamics become much more pronounced or even alter slightly post-game. ANYWAY. all that to say. deacon, nick, and maccready really stick out to me when discussing her main game dynamics.

so again, i do think generally the meetings play out as they do in canon. she finds codsworth first, then preston, then nick, etc etc. and i think nick in particular, bc he’s actively working this case as a hired detective alongside her, is the first companion she really begins to develop something deeper with.

nick’s there to help her find kellogg, he’s there when she kills him, there to comfort her when she feels at her absolute lowest. nick sees bunny at some of her lowest points so early on, and the fact that he was determined to help her see this through to the end was something that will stick with bunny the rest of her life. she believes she’d be dead without him, and she cherishes their friendship and trust so deeply.

and nick’s there w her when they find the railroad’s hideout, and gets to see the first “real” meeting between bunny and deacon. ofc we know deacon had been trailing her from the start, and she even thinks he looks familiar, but this marks the start of what will become each other’s most enduring relationship. like what else can i say here that i haven’t said already. bunny and deacon. it wasn’t like bunny was looking for love, and it wasn’t like she thought it’d be with deacon either, but suddenly one day she wakes up and realizes she can’t imagine life without him. honestly i’ve written a bunch of posts on their dynamic already so if you somehow haven’t seen those i really recommend just checking out bunny’s tag. also worth mentioning i did answer an ask about deacon’s affinity conversation in particular so check that out too if you’re interested.

and maccready i wanna bring up bc they really do become best friends. the girl knows how to haggle and mac respects that, was even able to knock some caps off his hiring price when they first met. she always leaves an impression. i think bunny has always seen something in maccready that reminds her of her cousin; he was several years younger than her and kinda became like a little brother to her even though she was an only child. when she woke up 200+ years later, accepting that he (among other loved ones) was almost certainly dead was something she struggled with. so having maccready, having that sarcasm and wit, it makes her happy. but especially when he opens up and admits he has a son too, finding solace in each other over something like that…it goes a long way. they’re grateful to be in each other’s corner. they trust each other so completely. and i don’t wanna get too into post-canon stuff when discussing this bc whew this is long enough but maccready is the first person bunny tells she’s pregnant, so that should give you an idea of how strong their bond is.

ok my eyes are glazing over. please as always if you have any questions about any of them or their dynamics w characters are anything else, lemme know!! i love talking about them more than anything

if you read all this i love u thank u

[fantasticalleigh]

thoughts on bridgerton season 3 part 2

MASSIVE spoilers ahead, i'm really annoyed so this is going to come out very salty!

TLDR: this season was largely a disappointment. part 1 is better than part 2.

-i've said it before and i'll say it again: this is an ensemble show that ultimately suffers for how large its cast is, how short each season is, how cheap netflix is, and how poor the writing is. the actors are great and do well with what they're given. the stories in and of themselves are largely compelling. but they need space and time to be told properly. eight episodes between 10+ characters is not enough.

-unhinged/in love colin from the books was sorely missed. the book is problematic yadda yadda but i prefer it at this point. instead for pretty much three out of four episodes in part two, he was just angry or sad and that was it. he felt so flat.

-i find it hilarious that debling just fucked off after rejecting penelope. he didn't even stick around to try and court cressida, who was clearly more than willing to take penelope's place?? he literally could have solved all her problems and that could have saved an incredible amount of screen time that should have gone to Colin/Penelope.

-i love the way they bridged portia and penelope's relationship. also to a lesser degree, her sisters. prudence not being so cunty anymore was nice but felt a little off, i think she needed more screentime with pen to show that she finally realizes what a bad sister she was and that she's genuinely sorry. one quick little comment "i was being honest" (or whatever it was) to me, didn't feel like enough. but i'm still glad they came around.

-violet/marcus and by extension, agatha. i'm glad violet and agatha finally had a heart to heart/ conversation that was about them and not the young people. when they affirmed that they were there for each other no matter what and used each other's given names? precious. i teared up. i love their friendship. (also don't come at me for what may have happened during Queen Charlotte bc i never finished it lol)

-the queen is probably my least favorite character. she used to have funny/kind moments but now it feels like she is just rude and dismissive and mean towards everyone. i can't even like her in a GirlBoss way because all we see from season to season is how other people manipulate her. Agatha manipulates her. Grimsby manipulates her. Lady Whistledown manipulates her. she was kind for francesca for a couple of days and then went sour when she realized francesca chose someone else. i get that she's jaded from season 2 but idk i don't enjoy her scenes at all anymore. she crashes the wedding breakfast to accuse the bridgertons, belittles the Mondriches ball at the start, complains/belittles all the debutants trying to impress her, doesn't care about the events being hosted in her honor. i loved her in seasons 1-2 but now she's just boring and one note.

-eloise finally admitted she was reckless/in the wrong about the Theo situation. that was nice. and she finally admitted befriending cressida was a poor choice. do i sense character growth at last?? but i'm still a little unhappy about how rudely she ditched Cressida once she and Penelope made up. Hey, this new friend of yours is distraught because of her shit home life and is about to be married off to some old, austere codger and you literally don't care? i genuinely felt so bad for cressida. she is a creature pushed into a corner lashing out for any way to escape and nobody (understandably, bc she makes bad choices) wants to help her. but eloise keeps saying that cress surprised her with how she was the only one to show her kindness when she was a social outcast and now the same is happening to Cressida and yet instead of repaying the favor, Eloise abandons her.

Eloise even goes so far to say that Cressida used her. Did she not also use Cressida? She admitted she befriended her to be petty towards Penelope. And she clearly stuck with Cressida out of boredom/reluctance to mingle with the other ladies their age because she found them beneath her. Eloise is still a hypocrite. I thought she'd taken a step forward but she's in the same place.

did cressida deserve help? not particularly considering the blackmail/fake identity, history of bullying. but does she also deserve to be married off like that and cut off like that by her asshole dad? also no.

with all that talk about running away i genuinely was rooting for C to run away, but i'm disappointed it didn't happen. i guess it makes sense within her character--she's always been a caged creature--i don't think running away ever came to mind, even if she didn't want to be shipped off to Wales with her aunt. she's strong but doesn't (yet) have the resolve/ferocity of someone like marina who was willing to run away with colin to elope in gretna green.

frankly i found cressida's story the most compelling in season 3 so far.

-benedict. if i have to watch ONE more sex scene for Ben i'm going to scream. wowwee, he had another threesome! and no more queerbaiting--he finally had sex with a man! <--that part is at least noteworthy for his character--but genuinely--i don't really care when his only storyline this season is that all he does is have sex. there are far more compelling stories needing attention right now and yet we get another freaking sex barrage with benedict. Colin and Penelope were robbed here and i don't think it's unreasonable to be annoyed that a B-tier ensemble character got more sexy time than them. and for what purpose? all we get out of ben's enlightenment is that it's ok to be gay and that he's not ready for serious commitment. which is fine and dandy except that that was already drilled into our heads since season 1. i feel like my time was wasted here because i already watched him do the same damn things over and over for THREE SEASONS by now.

AND FOR THAT MATTER:

if they really wanted to show any sense of growth for benedict they could have had him be brutally honest to Tilley and say something like:

"I'm having fun with our arrangement. I am open to seriously committing to someone someday...but I don't think you are that person."

what a world of a difference that would make, wouldn't it? it would show he's coming closer to being ready to meet Sophie but that he's still not quite ready to give up his old ways. i truly believe his season is next and frankly it wouldn't feel so insulting to watch his repetitive storyline if they had written better dialogue in that ONE scene.

(Jess + Shonda, I'm available any time if you want to talk.)

-T.S's You Belong with Me playing during a fucking wedding scene was a choice. All the options in the world and you pick a song about high school jealousy??? Babydoll I could pick five better options off my general playlist. across all three seasons, there's been so many bad cover choices imo.

-Coldplay's Yellow being Polin's song was an actual choice I will salute. Beautiful moment.

-the whole whistledown speech at the end where pen reveals herself was extremely flat to me and left me so bloody disappointed. someone brought this up on reddit and i agree so hard it hurts--why wasn't colin up there by her side? book colin would have VAULTED up over everyone just to be there with her and protect her. instead we get mopey Colin watching her from below. i need to rewatch it again but it felt like there was hardly any reaction from the ton to her speech. it felt like they shrugged their shoulders when she was finished and resumed the ball. my mouth was agape at that--you're telling me not one of the attendees would have rushed up and said "omg it was you??" "how did you do it?" "i can't believe it!" or something to that effect. the bridgertons already had that reaction so it would've been effective for literally anyone in the ton to show some amazement.

-ngl, i also feel quite cheated that Penelope was never celebrated in the way she deserved. yes, she got her wedding and the man she always wanted--but creating/maintaining the Whistledown enterprise is a huge accomplishment. individually there was praise from those closest to her but really there was such a huge element of shame and punishment surrounding it that really bothered me. yeah, she said some mean things but she did it because she was severely neglected/ostracized from her own community. there was no acknowledgment of that at all (that i can recall. once again i should do a rewatch but whatever) and that pains/angers me. not one person beside her mother took a moment to think or say, 'i treated you badly and caused you pain. i'm sorry.' instead they just focused on making penelope apologize again and again when she had only reacted from years of pain, which nobody even deigned to acknowledge.

wasn't there a moment in the book when she gets some applause after her revelation? am i misremembering? but in the show it was like nobody gave a fuck because ooh butterflies! which was...so stupid lol. bless you though, phillippa. penelope single-handedly contributed to the entertainment of the ton for years and exposed awful people even if she made fun of others. characters frequently and often complained if her issue was one day late and debated her true identity and so when she finally reveals herself there's no applause? no true reaction? were they all asleep? what the fuck? that scene was shocking at how badly executed it was. it was rushed and it showed.

-also, WHY choose to have Colin learn Penelope is Lady Whistledown in episode six? I hate this because it crams all the drama in the last two episodes and makes everything feel rushed and frantic. he should have found out in episode three or four and i'll die on that hill. for that matter, his refusal to understand that Whistledown was Penelope's life's work and greatest achievement/power was so annoying. In the book he came around to it pretty fast and yet here it dragged on for way too long. everyone wanted her to give Whistledown up until it benefited them.

-editing to add a huge gripe i have with post-production:

for the love of god, go easy on the filters. the artificial blues and yellows are killing me. in twilight, it was camp. it was great. it does not translate well here. also, have y'all noticed how HEAVILY they blur the backgrounds??? there was one scene with colin and penelope in the garden and every time the camera focuses on one of their faces from over the other's shoulder (they were both seated) the background is blurred heavily. it looks bad!!! stop doing that!!! the backgrounds lend to the vibe! it genuinely makes the show look like crap when i notice that happening. it makes them look like they're using the green screen filter on tik tok. STOP. IT.

(seriously, imagine Joe Wright's Pride and Prejudice, the scene where Elizabeth is on the rocky plains and or she and her aunt and uncle are sitting at the base of that enormous tree--all that gorgeous scenery, remember that? now slap the Bridgerton filter over it so it's all one massive ugly blur. does that mental image fill you with rage? GOOD.)

-i didn't cover this in the prev. post but in part 1, the whole runaway balloon scene was Not Good. Why a balloon? the danger that poses is not that great--why not a runaway horse? there was too much sense of danger to the actual threat posed by a freaking basket. also the way penelope acted in that scene felt very very out of character for her and i hate rewatching it, even if colin looks very dashing while holding the rope. ugh.

-polin's main sex scene was beautiful. i feel kind of disappointed that everything else we got was less than a minute long and not in a weird way. it just feels a fair amount of the promo we got from Nic and Luke was hinting at the sex scenes and yet we got very little in actuality. i keep seeing people talk about there being a minutes long montage of them and yet it got cut. but in season one we got a LOT (imo too many sex scenes between daphne and simon). there were too many side stories happening this season and i'm sure that contributed to that, but there is also a whisper in the back of my mind that tells me that maybe showrunners felt the need to overly pad this season with storylines because they either didn't feel like nicola and luke could carry it alone or because they didn't care.

-i'm really glad genevieve got more scenes here, especially with penelope. their friendship is really nice and it's sad/sweet that penelope chose to spend her last night before her wedding with her, because apparently her mother/sisters didn't plan anything for her.

-frencesca/john. i have no stake in this game since i haven't read their book yet, as i've mentioned before. they're cute together but i'm not invested. they should have gotten married way earlier imo because all the "we need to tip toe around the queen bc she hates us :( but we want to marry now" went on too long and got boring. the michaela thing doesn't bother me but i understand why fans are upset about it.

-polin felt like a side character in part 2. i feel like their scenes went by way too quickly and their screentime was so sparse to the point of legitimately becoming annoying. colin spent most of it mad and penelope spent most of it crying/trying to explain herself. they had hardly any truly happy moments together.

-kanthony was adorable.

-"i love you."

"...are you sure?"

dear reader, my heart split in two. they did a really really good job with showing penelope's self-doubt and low confidence thanks to years of neglect and ridicule and doubt from her mother. when colin stood up for her to her mother and she looked so shocked, my heart broke again for her. poor pen, i just wanted to hold her. when violet and hyacinth hugged penelope after colin announced their engagement i wanted to cry bc poor pen is so starving for positive affirmations/love that just those hugs where enough to overwhelm her.

-also lady danbury saying that she had suspected Pen was whistledown was amazing. i love that she acknowledged her and her love for the bridgertons....but i'm still really upset that they nixed her and penelope's friendship/mentorship that was in the books. she was busy with her own storyline what with violet and marcus and sure it still worked but that was a relationship i was so excited to see in the show...and they didn't even try adapting it except for like, three lines at the very end. >:( hello 911? we've been ROBBED.

(i keep editing this to add more but this is another gripe i have that will not let me rest:

ALSO ALSO ALSO:

i've noticed over seasons 1-2 that the main romantic couple has one dance set to the bridgerton theme song.

in season one, daphne and simon dance to the theme song in episode 2 or 3 (the one where daphne says "and we must try to look like we enjoy each other's company" and simon replies stiffly but then they giggle and laugh all through it which was so cute

in season two, kate and anthony dance to it in the second to last episode where they're dancing with the rest of the bridgertons and lady danbury at the ball they threw that nobody came to. the subtitles say it's a country rendition (whatever that means) of the theme song but they are involved in the dance so it counts.

when i noticed this i thought it was such a cute touch and was anxiously waiting for Penelope and Colin to get their moment.

...instead benedict dances to the bridgerton theme song with Lady Tilley? who he clearly isn't going to end up with? wtf?? and it doesn't even work in the context of the scene because it's a wholesome tune and yet she's dancing like she wants to eat him alive? sigh.

i'm just an old man yelling at clouds now but i wish the writing in this show was better so badly because it meets expectations but it's so frustrating because it can be so much better. let the show breathe! thin out the cast. really pick and choose who gets airtime, because it's precious and you anger your viewers when you waste it.

i will rewatch the season in full at some other point, but i'm too annoyed now. there is much more i want to talk about but this is long enough for now. i will say that at this point i'm not even sure i want to continue watching beyond this season.

(the playlist thing really got me thinking so to prove my point:)

FIVE SONGS THAT ARE A BETTER CHOICE FOR POLIN'S WEDDING DANCE THAN A FUCKING T.S SONG:

-a world alone-lorde (the lyrics are perfect even if they wouldn't be used in an orchestral version)

-little of your love-haim ( perfect choice for the scene imo bc it's very happy and upbeat for a cute wedding dance bit)

-all this and heaven too-florence and the machine

or fuck, if you wanted to make it into a really emotional rather than joyous moment go with dog days are over and it would be a banger with the proper editing bc that song is universal and punches up the emotions any times it's used.

-burning-maggie rogers

-save a kiss--jessie ware

ORRRRR to make it a lil steamy:

-adore you--jessie ware (this would also be perfect ngl)

and i'm not even biased to any of these, i literally just scrolled down my general playlist on spotify and picked them based on the vibes.

[lionheartedmusings]

oh boy, listen, the qsmp election should just be renamed the broken telephone event bc there's no way people are misrepresenting everyone's platform and to be fair character (and, a note, literally all of this is also about characters AT NO POINT DO I MEAN CCS i just get lazy typing the q! tbh) so much. maybe it's a language barrier thing, maybe it's difficulty in being the devil's advocate but it's wild to see in real time.

i watch bad religiously, try to watch as much of forever's pov i can live and what i can't i watch in vods, cellbit i catch when i can, baghera i do my best but french and me don't mix well in my head. this is coming from someone who is a native portuguese speaker and perfectly bilingual when it comes to english. i say this to illustrate that especially between the english and portuguese speakers, i'm not getting lost in buggy translations or difficulty undestanding.

do i disagree with insaneduo? yep, but that's a personal opinion. i also entirely understand not only their stance during the debates (do i enjoy it? not really, the tone — which is not aggressive, it's assertive — is anxiety inducing TO ME PERSONALLY and so i struggle) but also their platform. they're doing the best with what they've been given, and keeping your enemies close is the only thing in their opinion has truly shown any sort of result. using the federation's resources is an opportunity they can't pass up! they have great ideas, good implementation plans, and cellbit isn't even running so really, forever is doing the most as he should. i understand why he doesn't understand the anarchy route in this situation. yes, their platform has been misrepresented, but that's because ultimately what they showcase in public forums aka debates for all to see does come across as very assertive (which is what debates are for, asserting your stance) and at times a bit tunnel vision imo. listening to them properly out of the debates would do a lot to stop whatever circus has been going on.

now, i have seen an insane amount of people almost mischaracterising bad and baghera as a response to the misinterpretation of insaneduo, and that's not fair either. bad and baghera have spoken at length about their issues with presidency, how they don't want to centralise power, how they don't trust the federation and they definitely don't trust anyone who will be actively pulled around by them. are they all puppets? yes, but do you want to give power to someone who willingly or not is giving up their own strings? it's normal that they're reluctant or just blatantly refusing of that idea. they don't think insaneduo are power hungry dictators, they've in fact spoken multiple times talking about how they think BOTH cellbit and forever would be good presidents (bad specifically mentioned it even last night) but that the concern isn't them, it's the federation.

bad making a joke about helping foolish assassinate anyone other than baghera and gegg is… a joke. it's literally a silly goofy joke based on "my coalition vs everyone else" and the idea of political assassination. there's quite literally no need, and frankly imo a disservice to the relationship that bad and forever have to mischaracterise that. if i remember correctly, wasn't forever the one talking about how they should be killing each other bc it'd be fun? i might be wrong there, but i vividly remember that.

my point being, this election is ultimately an exercise in futility bc they're all fucked regardless, this isn't "giving someone power" it's the federation sticking a pacifier in their mouth for soothing and telling them they'll sleep better. it'll end terribly either way, and no character is safe. it's a ridiculous plotline but a wildly interesting one, BECAUSE it's doomed to fail and yet everyone's doing the song and dance.

enjoy the content. laugh. analyse the character dynamics, motivations and plans. don't go out of your way to mischaracterise and demonise any character bc that not only goes against everything the qsmp stands for, but it also sucks the fun out of it for you and everyone else. no one is after anyone, no one is isolating anyone to be mean to them, these people are friends playing characters who are friends. have fun! my god!

[doradeluna]

i'm sorry i don't have any helpful solutions :c but I just wanted to say your art touched me and i am honored to be among those who were an audience to your art! i don't think it's pretentious at all to feel the way you do abt this situation, but i also hope this doesn't ultimately stop you completely from making and sharing your art forever, as I think future viewers and enjoyers of your art would enjoy what you have to say in it with your skills and touch to it, and I hope they have more to share with you! i say this as someone who has enjoyed the time I've followed you, even as a lurker ^^ (though also to reiterate, there's truly nothing wrong with wanting or needing the back and forth of communication as part of the one making that art, and it totally sucks that tumblr shadowbocked you like that >:c) no pressure to reply publicly, i just wanted to send some virtual hugs your way in this tough time! it's not an easy decision to make and your feeling torn is understandable ;-;

Heey thank u kind anon <3 I've sat on this ask for a little while because I've been insanely busy at work, but like. I really have no idea what to even reply to this? To me everything I do is so silly and so unimportant because if I can do it then it must not be a big deal? As far as internet artists go I'm pretty much a nobody (not a complaint at all) and I look at my own stuff and don't find it impressive at all, but. It's impossible for me to stop sharing art, I think sharing my stuff online is the only thing that's kept me going all these years. I first made a deviantart account back when I was like. Ten. I started posting my shitty mspaint doodles in there over 16 years ago and to me that's a fully integral part of doing anything. You've gotta put it somewhere. Someone has to see it. Otherwise what even is the point.

And something I struggle to keep in mind is that, to me art is more a byproduct of life than anything else. I'm making it bc I want to put my feelings somewhere. I'm making it to understand myself better. It's just what ends up coming out of myself at the end of the day, together with everything else I do. I don't know if this is a good way to think about it, but it's the only thing that makes sense to me. So idk it feels weird to hear someone say stuff I made has had an impact. To me making a drawing is the same thing as making a sandwich. But I guess someone somewhere really likes my sandwiches.

I kinda lost track of where I was going. But thank you so much! Please be less honoured! I'm just a guy!!!! I'm just a person!!! Feel free to talk to me!!!! Please make art too!!

[saintsenara]

hiiii i'm sending this ask bc i read ur medicine/fandom post and nearly cried 😭 i rly want to go into healthcare (as a nurse) but im so afraid of making an irreversible mistake & either ending someone's life short or making it so that they will need medical care 4 the rest of it i was in nursing school for a yr and a half and dropped out bc of that fear but i rly rly want to work as a nurse!! how do u deal w these fears? but also prevent urself from making them in the first place!! do u have any personal experience w something like that? sorry so many q's 😖😖😖

thank you very much for this ask, anon - and i'm really sorry that i've taken absolutely fucking ages to reply to it. perhaps you might have some more clarity on the course your life is going to take, rendering whatever i have to say irrelevant. perhaps you won't - that's fine, you'll get there.

the knowledge that you could - and, indeed, might - kill or seriously injure someone is something everyone in healthcare has to carry with them.

i understand how this is terrifying - especially when you're right at the start of your training - but it helps to reframe it as a beneficial thing.

many [not all, but many] of the mistakes we make in our lives - whether in our jobs or our personal lives - are caused by a combination of carelessness and arrogance.

and so the things you need to do to minimise these sorts of mistakes need that little bit of fear. the reason why things like air embolisms introduced via iv lines, or infections caused by healthcare staff not washing their hands properly, are genuinely rare is because we all have a little voice in the back of our heads which scares us out of complacency. when you first start your training, this voice is overwhelming. eventually, though, it just becomes an old friend - nagging you to check and double-check the way your mam nags you to put a coat on.

and it is these everyday tasks - hygiene, using equipment properly, listening attentively, filling in charts and records correctly - which have the highest chance of causing harm to a patient if they're not done properly. so being a little bit scared is good.

this is especially the case for a nurse. credentialism in the medical field is an extremely tedious thing - and lots of doctors will be completely insufferable about how they went to medical school and you didn't, and you should feel free to kick them in the shins - but the thing which might be comforting for you is the knowledge that the people who are at the highest risk of killing or injuring their patients are doctors [and, especially, surgeons]. you are never going to be in a position where you're performing an operation, or managing a crash, or prescribing a cocktail of complex medication. you're never going to be alone in a high-risk situation when it isn't - ultimately - someone else's responsibility to not fuck up.

and you're also never going to be alone generally. on your first day at work in a hospital you will meet people who have been there for decades - who know exactly how you're feeling and who are there to help you find your feet. every single healthcare worker has needed someone to guide them through a procedure - even a very basic one - at some point or other. in my first week as a foundation doctor, i was fucking terrified of inserting a catheter - something i'd done probably hundreds of times during my training - and i needed a nurse to help me through it. two weeks later, it was second nature.

and almost a decade later, my nurses are people i still look to for advice and support. this is the entire point of life - none of us is an island, and you will not be left alone to cause harm unless you deliberately reject the help which will surround you.

my advice, then, is that it's good for anyone in healthcare to embrace the maxim "do it scared" - and that if you're still interested in going to nursing school, then you'll end up a better nurse for doing it scared than for doing it with complacent self-assurance.

but my advice is also that we should all be careful to understand the command to "do it scared" as meaning "do it vigilantly, do it thoroughly, do it steadfastly, do it while listening, do it as part of a team".

because there has to be a bit of tough love to end this answer. being vigilant is an extremely beneficial trait for a healthcare worker to have. being panicky is not.

there are times in life when being prone to panic is dangerous, and working in medicine is one of them. people's health can turn on a dime, and you need to be able to react quickly and decisively when things go wrong - even if that turn is caused by a mistake you or your team has made. if you give a patient medication they're allergic to because you didn't read a chart properly and they go into anaphylactic shock... then suck it up, kid. you need to get your head in the game immediately and treat that patient. or they will die.

if your fear makes you indecisive - if it makes you freeze, if it makes you put off doing things, if it makes you lie in order to save face - then you are dangerous. not because there's anything morally wrong with you, but because of the nature of working in medicine.

only you can decide if you can be the right sort of scared - vigilant, meticulous, a team-player - for nursing to be the career for you. but whether it is or it isn't, you're going to be fine.

[s0phos-writes]

lupin iii - fuck it im writing my own silly movie

so this is a combination of two "ideas" i had - one with a self-insert OC and one of inserting someone else into the story lmao im still on the fence between asking for forgiveness and asking for permission but we're gonna say our piece and see where we land afterwards…

if the person i took inspiration from is reading this and recognizes what im talking about no you dont LOL NO uh you can tell me to take it down or w/e if you think i'm over stepping lol;; ANYWAY NOW THAT THAT'S OUT OF THE WAY

so… i have two OCs… one is the girl of the week (GotW) - a librarian named minnie (short for minerva); the other is the villain - an agent of a secret evil world police (or maybe just CIA lmao) named mal (short for mallory). can you guess which is the self-insert lmaooo

i don't have the like actual plot figured out? like i don't know what the lupgang is after or why the librarian gets involved -- the only clear like scene? i had was the GotW has a van (a book mobile perhaps?) and she helped lupin escape zenigata by hiding him in the van and distracting zenigata with flattery and trash talking lupin lol i thought it was cute

as for the villain… idk i just had the thought (after being inspired by some art) what if zenigata, but worse? like she isn't above harming/maiming or even KILLING to get what she wants (him) IDK MAN its fucked up but i thought it was interesting… like when we meet her, we learn shes been watching lupin for a while , maybe not even a relatively long while but she became obsessed.. Maybe its in the name of the law that she pursues him but she wrestles with the internal struggle of wanting to control him, become him? Break him? I think ultimately destroy him so that she can have peace of mind once again… OH and i also wanted her to be a “Magnificent Bastard” [thanks trope talk!] bc its so fitting and i would love to see her lose her cool i just think that’d be neat…

I also wanted to explore themes of identity like i imagine mal like gets to lupin in the beginning bc he typically has the upper hand in every situation but with this woman, he doesn't? and it shakes him so we get to deal with what does it mean to be "lupin iii"? [basically i want to explore that moment in part V(?) where the bad guy reverse-uno-cards lupin's escape plan-literally explodes him-and he sleeps it off for two days but he's ultimately fine?? like bitch no wtf that was kinda a big deal??? at least i think it should've been]

and of course the secret weapon that lupin has that wins him the day is the power of friendship lmao idk if i should say cuz maybe its a spoiler? but also who cares 1. idk if im even actually going to write this and b. its not like everyone that reads that (if it exists) will see this and be "spoiled" ok so here goes: the real trump card that villain doesnt prepare for will be fujiko bc she expects fujiko to sell him out for one corn chip but surprise ! she doesn't lol so really this is a continued exploration of fujilup lmao cuz im a simple man

[brandileigh2003]

why do you think athors are unhappy and taking fics down?

This has been talked about a good bit lately.

Search fandom etiquette. Or fandom discourse. Others have worded it better than I can

But, what it comes down to is ... Each author is different. The way their fic has been received, the way that comments, anons, negativity, etc all effect them.

You mention being happy. I don't know that it's that.... Exactly. It seems like fandom is shifting. And that's natural in some ways. But. Things that have been rough... Personally and to some posts I've seen... Is that negativity and people being rude seems to be on the rise. In comment sections and inboxes.

And I know that some people say don't put your work on the Internet if you don't expect some criticism.

But. This is something we do for free. Bc we love it. We want to explore this world and the characters.

And fandom has always had golden rule of don't like don't read.

Except people are ignoring that. Or else they are just going over the line of the unspoken... If you don't like it, don't say anything about it. Not publicly where the author can see it.

I've seen the potluck example. We're all bringing something we put time and effort into. If you don't like green bean casserole, then please just pass over my dish. If you think that you like green bean casserole but you don't like a specific ingredient I used, just don't eat it. You wouldn't get it and then complain loudly to someone about it or tell me it's awful.

The second thing that's been talked about lately is positive interaction with authors. There's been a drop in commenting lately and I'm sure there are lots of reasons.

But it can still be discouraging. I know that we're not owed comments. I know. However. We spent time creating this and many of us do crave for someone to tell us so, or ask questions, to know it impacted someone, to know what reader liked. Or we find out it's being rec'd and talked about other places. Which is awesome, and there's nothing wrong with that. What is a bit discouraging is-- a lot of authors would probably never see people giving positive thoughts and love to the story, and that a very small percentage, if any tell it in a comment or message.

But these conversations are easily found on reblogs by many mutuals.

So I am but sure if you're really asking if I'm unhappy and why I personally pulled my fics (and if not, I apologize). but I will touch on the "why" a bit.

I will admit that I got too caught up in that part of it, the validation, I guess you could say.

It was making me sad and discouraged with numbers. Or that I would get negative feedback. Or if something didnt "do as well" as my average.

And that made me realize that right now, I'm just making myself unhappy. And (besides the people who gave the negative comments or asks) that is ultimately on me.

Because at the end of the day, I should write and share bc I love it. I have a story that I want told, a certain characteristizations or situation.

I shouldn't write for validation reasons even if it amazing to know my work was enjoyed.

And then I should see that any interactions are a positive.

So. I tried to separate from that. And having them hidden takes out the numbers game.

And I've reread a few of my stories, and enjoyed them just listening and trying to not go into I need to edit this mode. So that has helped.

I actually also posted something anon to test it out and will pull it if I do obsess. I also turned off anon comments and ppl can't find me here.

And I've had wonderful people send me kind messages and support lately and that does make me remember that there are such wonderful people in the fandom and they very much outnumber those who are loud and rude.

And I've been sitting with that. Hanging out in my little bubble, looking at kind things that people have been saying.

I've been trying to start reading more wip, the backbone of fandom, trying to comment as much as I can on any of the things I'm reading and let others know they're seen and appreciated.

So. I'm not unhappy. I'm blessed actually. I have good fandom friends. I have amazing fics being written for free that I can read and have an escape.

I think that these posts and ones I've written out reblogged is just trying to spread info a bit about what some of us as fanfic authors are looking for.

[eldritch-muppetshow]

I feel like there would be people who would accept Pomni in your au where he manages to escape butooWhat about the others, did they think something about every situation? Did Caine tell them or keep it a secret?

i answered the question abt everyone else + caine’s initial reaction in this post, but i figured i’d take the opportunity to go more in-depth abt their thoughts!

outwardly, ragatha is relieved that pomni is out of the circus and hopes she’s okay, but i imagine she kind of has some unspoken jealousy/resentment that she tries to suppress? bc pomni managed to do what no one else could for years and ultimately ended up having the shortest stay out of anyone in the circus (that didn’t end in abstraction), while she’s still trapped here for the rest of the foreseeable future.

everyone was kind of worried that kinger would finally snap when he found out pomni escaped (since he’s been in the circus the longest out of the main gang), but if he is jealous, he doesn’t show it. he tends to forget that pomni isn’t there with them anymore though, which doesn’t really help the rising tensions between the performers. (also i think it’d be funny if he eventually does get angry about it, and it’s a very delayed reaction that comes completely out of nowhere for everyone else)

zooble is very annoyed with pomni for similar reasons as ragatha, but they’re way more upfront about it. at the same time, they understand why she did it— since if an exit somehow opened for them, they would’ve left without a second thought too.

jax is secretly Scheming to try and recreate the circumstances that let pomni escape, and he drags gangle into his plans too— not because he actually wants to help her leave, but because someone’s gotta be the test dummy/sacrifice if his efforts go really wrong, and no one else was willing to help him. so far, they haven’t made any progress, and gangle really doesn’t like that this plan requires going behind everyone else’s back (though jax manages to talk her out of telling the others every time she tries).

[eddiesfuckassshack]

come talk to me about your wildest dream plot lines for season eight these are all of mine :) this got a little out of hand but i have no regrets

eddie: obviously this is the most important to me. I have a series of demands. 1) get his gay ass out of the closet I’m so fucking serious. catholic guilt and leaning on Bobby can be a part of it. it will be torturous and like pulling teeth but he’ll be girl who is going to be okay afterwards!! 2) (strongly tied in with #1) him exploring what he likes/wants/who he is as a person outside of fatherhood (bc he’s been a dad since he was!! a teenager!!!!). give him some new friends (Maddie and Karen!!! preferably!!!!!!). give him some new hobbies that he actually enjoys and isn’t just using to escape from The Horrors. AND let him go to gay night at a line dancing club 3) he comes head to head with his parents about um everything. actually sets boundaries about their relationship with Christopher (I.e. you cannot just show up at my house to take my son away even when I’m having a mental health crisis. maybe actually support me next time or just fuck off) 4) drop him in the middle of the woods and have him presumed dead due to a plane crash when he does go to pick up Chris (maybe midseason? but I really don’t want chris gone for that long)* 5) feelings realization re buck in the second half of the season. I think he actually realizes at the same time he realizes he’s gay but it is simply too scary so he’s like okay I have to deal with one thing at a time. but then he simply cannot ignore it anymore. probably due to buck is being insane after his own feelings realization. 6) spurred on by his self-discovery arc in star first half of the season, he starts working towards his paramedic license yayyyy

buck: princessa….. okay I don’t have much for buck. I want him to mostly be background to other people’s arcs. bc I actually think that’s where he thrives EXCEPT: 1) I want him to start really struggling with the fact that he doesn’t have kids yet, and like even looking into ways to have kids on his own (esp. since he knows he’s bi now) like surrogacy and adoption and stuff. and 2) actually think this could be an interesting point of conflict (and breakup??) between him and Tommy (where Tommy is just not that interested in having kids) because it would be an actual discussion and require buck to actually examine what he wants out of a relationship 3) presumed deaddie leading to feelings realization. this makes him insane, obviously, and he makes it everyone’s problem. yay :)

hen: 1) she kills Gerrard with her bare hands. the boys can help if they want but she should land the killing blow. and by this I of course mean get him fired and make sure he never works for the LAFD again. bc it’s crazy he still has a job. or maybe she actually does kill him that would be so fine too 2) she and karen (I actually think Karen might lead this bc hen will be busy killing Gerrard) tear down the entire DCFS system to get their daughter back. I genuinely think she has to be home by the end of the first three episodes. or I will go crazy. 3) the gerrard and bobby situation leads to captaincy succession drama between hen and chim, where they actually sort-of fight about who should be captain and they both make very good points. the resolution to this is 4) hen’s nightmare with councilwoman ortiz gets her interested in local politics, and she runs for city council (or something), and decides that’s what she wants to focus on right now rather than trying to become captain

chimney: 1) fostering mara gets Maddie and chimney talking about the possibility of having more kids. chimney really wants to, and specifically wants to adopt kids, because he was given a home when he had none as a child and really wants to offer that to someone else, and he doesn’t want jee to grow up without a sibling. this leads to some more exploration into his childhood and confrontation of his past grief. they ultimately decide it’s not what’s best for their family, but do decide to keep their house open for emergency temporary foster placement 2) captaincy succession drama with hen, as aforementioned. he struggles with his whole inferiority complex when it comes to leadership positions, and ultimately realizes how much he’s grown in that regard and that he actually could be a fantastic captain. because he loves hen he’s willing to give it up for her, but then she encourages him to go for it so he starts down that path 3) can we revisit the fact that this man has come within kissing distance of death more times than anyone else on this team???? like, what has that done to his psyche???? how has it changed him as a person???? it’s years too late but I want it so bad.

maddie: 1) aforementioned family planning discussions with chimney. because of her traumatic experience after jee’s birth, she really cannot see herself ever having other kids of their own, because she just knows it would bring her back to that place emotionally, and she feels that their family is complete with jee. this causes a lot of tension between her and chimney for a while, as they come to understand each other’s points of view. but she does love what they’re able to do for mara, and wants to continue with emergency foster care 2) I just really need her to bond with eddie. they have so much in common and I feel like could really be a support system for each other, especially as they’re both grappling with parenthood struggles 3) she starts considering taking on a leadership position in dispatch alongside chimney starting down a captaincy path and maybe there is even like maddie-josh drama or maddie-linda drama that parallels the chimney-hen drama

ravi: because he WILL be a main. trust 1) struggling with fitting in with A-shift after coming from B-shift, because they’re so tight-knit and he’s been in and out, but ultimately realizing he’s part of the family already. and they throw him a surprise party obviously 2) baby’s first life threatening injury!!!! and everyone is freaking out bc that’s their little guy and they JUST officially adopted him. and of course this is his begins episode, so we get to see some of his childhood growing up in hospitals and stuff and how he got into firefighting. I would love for it to be like. his family is actually super supportive but he struggles to fit in and be a part of a team due to he was sick all the time as a kid. this would work together nicely with him feeling like he doesn’t fit in with A-shift! I also think it would be funny if he was in the hospital and the 118 assumed his family wouldn’t show up and then they ALL do like parents siblings everyone. and they’re like oh. that’s… never happened before?? 3) it would be very funny if hen and chim were trying to get everyone to pick sides in their captaincy drama and they were fighting over ravi and he was so sick over it. like I can’t choose i love them both. why is this happening. do I need to talk to HR?? and everyone is like no this is just how things are around here bro. but he kind of has to stand up for himself a bit and be like dudes. I’m not doing this.

bobby: 1) the Gerrard stuff is going to have Bobby actually considering retirement and not just in a suicidal way. and ultimately I think he’ll decide that he wants to back away from the day-to-day stuff and do more oversight stuff, so he starts the process of stepping up the ranks to ultimately become fire chief, in part so that no one like Gerrard can stick around in the LAFD. this is a big factor in hen and chim thinking about captaincy. 2) I would be really interested to see his reaction to buck thinking/talking about having kids, since he sees buck as a surrogate child, and if it makes him feel a certain way about like fatherhood and mortality and legacy and stuff. buck obviously is like ‘well and would the kid call you grandpa or pops or what. because pops would be so funny considering.’ and bobby just starts crying. 3) I want Bobby’s special blood thing to come back lmao like maybe the blood people are like hey so that other guy in Australia died um do you have any siblings?? and he has to reconnect with his brother because of it. and deal with some of his unresolved stuff about his father’s death. this can happen for reasons other than his special blood I suppose but I would love for it to be special blood related 4) he has to go back to Minnesota for some reason (maybe related to reconnecting to his brother) and it like literally almost kills him but it’s ultimately really good for him

athena: all love to ms bassett but I’ll be honest as a certified cop hater the only athena arc I’m interested in is her quitting her job. I would love for her to get in trouble due to her abuse of power wrt Amir, and realizing how many other times she’s abused her position of power. I would also love for May and/or harry to be involved in helping her realize this. and then maybe she gets into like an alternatives to policing model or community organizing or something. this will of course never ever happen. but I actually feel like thematically it would align well with the rest of the characters’ arcs (self-discovery, transition periods, stepping into new roles, etc.)

other stuff:

-*to elaborate on presumed deaddie, no one kill me but maybe it’s on the way BACK from Texas and Chris is also in the plane crash? and in part due to eddie being concussed, he has to kind of step up and use what hes learned through osmosis about first aid and emergency stuff to help people and keep them calm. he’s literally a baby and he shouldn’t HAVE to do this but I think it would be so beautiful to see him like confidently helping out in a horrible situation because everyone he knows is first responders lol. so he knows what to do and how to keep a clear head about it. my brave brave boy!! of course if eddie and chris were BOTH presumed dead buck would kill himself For Real so there has to be hope that they’re alive. maybe eddie wanders into the woods (due to he’s concussed and disoriented) away from the crash site so they find Chris first and then spend the whole next episode looking for Eddie. and they literally have to sedate buck and/or put him on a physical leash so that he doesn’t run off into the woods to die with Eddie. of course. and the will comes up as a part of all of this obviously which is associated with the feelings realization AND the kid stuff.

- I would love to have another female firefighter on the team, especially if Ravi joins as a main. I think like a really tiny angry 20 year old female probie who picks fights with Buck specifically would be a really iconic addition. and I think Hen would LOVE to mentor a younger female firefighter. and she and eddie and ravi would all be best friends. she would take a while to warm up to buck and she would think chimney was kind of weird but in a fun cool-uncle kind of way.

- controversial but if Taylor came back in some way I think that would be so funny. maybe they want to turn her book into a movie or something so they come to interview the firehouse about it. and they would all hate it so bad, except chimney who would be thriving

- more emergencies in general. hopefully with an 18 episode season they can actually do this

- stuck-in-the firehouse bottle episode where there are zero (0) calls all day but they are being discouraged from driving around for some reason so they literally have to stay inside all day. and the AC isn’t working. this overlaps with hen and chim’s captaincy drama AND buddie mutual pining era and they all make it everyone’s problem

- ending the season with a buddie cliffhanger (maybe a first kiss? confession?) but also ending with a cliffhanger of someone else in serious danger, like maybe hen and karen getting into a car accident or something????, and then they couldn’t do a time jump and would have to resolve both things simultaneously and the tension and chaos would be wild and I just think that would be a slay setup for the start of s9!!

[cinnamostar]

hiiii again! :)

just wanted to share my thoughts on 'Four Dates to Fall in Love.'

I hope you are doing well ❤️

I loved the start with Chris—how you incorporated him as someone reader can share their feelings with and sort out their thoughts. It adds so much to the story and the characters. Especially when the reader goes on about wanting to keep having fun with Hyunjin but struggles when memories and emotions about the past years come back. I loved how Chan validated both feelings and helped the reader find a way to deal with the situation. This whole situation takes a lot of emotional intelligence, maturity, empathy, and firm boundaries. I'm so happy to see this portrayed in fanfiction. 🫶

Besides that, I also really enjoyed them cooking together—the teasing, their smiles, and the reader's hands over Hyunjin's. It was such a good read, and the underlying awkwardness was so tangible!

"[...] suddenly hyper aware of the strange warmth in your stomach that was also accompanied by the feeling of your stomach dropping. It was an uncomfortable feeling, one you didn't know how to explain or ever experienced before, but you did know you didn't want that combination of symptoms again for whatever emotion this was." I think I died reading that part. Way too good. YOU ARE SO TALENTED. I've said it so often, but the way you describe feelings—especially those opposing feelings—it's perfect.

AAAAAND you did justice to Hyunjin and his feelings in this part! How he struggles with what he has done, the reader's friendliness, the guilt, and the hate he almost has on himself.

"[...] shame paralyzed his body, the warm sensation behind his eyes reminding him to blink, reminding him he shouldn't be so selfish in his pain when he was the cause of so much discomfort." Shame is such an underrated emotion and is rarely acknowledged, but yet it is so powerful. Loved that you incorporated this emotion.

Last but not least, the last part broke me. How the reader chose to comfort Hyunjin, their inner conflict with their choice—"[...] despite what your mind screamed at you, you chose to listen to your heart, you chose him over himself".... I was fr dead on the floor after reading this. I mean—I know how hard it is to be in this situation, and I probably would do the same, but I screamed with the reader's mind.

Sooooo - in conclusion, I love how you portray them so humanly, all their struggles... I can really see myself in them. I can't wait to finally get them together.

And I wanted to point out: taking a rest from writing has paid off. Your dialogs were just perfect. I loved the slow burn. You did really well. ❤️

YOUR MESSAGES ALWAYS MAKE MY DAY SO MUCH BETTER T - T THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHH it makes me genuinely so happy that someone finds my work that impactful so it always so appreciated :')!

my intention from the start was to always have chris there as someone the reader could rely on and have candid conversations regarding their emotions! its one thing to write how the reader is feeling, but i think its another for the reader to talk to someone else abt it bc i feel like it can reveal a lil more about the characters and their relationship with each other! like yeaaa chris is reader's manager, but also a great friend over the years theyve known each other!

and yeah, they both have a lot of emotions to process and figure out! its really hard to be either of them in that position because shame/guilt is such a difficult feeling to digest, especially when the other party still hasn't forgiven. so tbh, its hard for hyunjin to know what to do or how to handle anything bc ultimately, it is up to the reader on how they wanna handle their relationship w him... hyunjin can only hope for forgiveness, but has been blessed with kindness too!

reader is also in a hard position because if it wasn't for the fact there wasn't an acting project on the line, reader would've probably been a lot more callous towards hyunjin. but theres a role on the line that the reader really wants, so reader gotta suck it up a little. while the reader did chose to be kind to hyunjin, a lot of it has to do with just spending time with him. i think no matter how angry you can be with someone, if you miss a friendship and are able to see them for who they really are, its hard to be a total dickhead to them JKLFDSJ especially if they seem super apologetic.

BUUUUUUUUUT reader choosing this doesnt mean their hurt goes away.............. I HAVE PLANS, I CANNOT SAY MORE, BUT THERE ARE PLANS FOR THIS SERIES NSJKDFNA emotions are complex and hard so this entire series is just gonna be That (but also im avoiding being repetitive too so that was an added challenge when i outlined this series)

personally, reader is actually a lot better than me, im a hater til i die, but then this story wouldnt be going anywhere...

after this chapter, there are only three dates left and then one extra chapter... i have had this all planned out, im excited and hope u enjoy whats next !!<333 thank u sm again i literally love seeing ur messages in my inbox . and yes!!! the break helped a lot :') thank u for encouraging the writing break tooMMMMMMWAH

[marshmallowprotection]

hi hi i hope this is okay </3 ive never sent an ask in to you before, firsts always make me nervous.

Ive been fiddling around with the idea of Saeyoung with an MC who had a similar childhood to him and was wondering what your thoughts were!! By similar, I mean.. very similar. Younger siblings, shitty/abusive parents, running away as a teenager to try and find a way to get their sibling(s) away from their mother, ultimately doesnt get very far (only gets further isolated from siblings due to outside causes).

i hope this isnt like. too specific or outside your comfort zone lolol ive mostly been thinking of it bc i also grew up in a similar environment and recently got super into mysme again and was curious to see one of my favorite people in the community’s thoughts and opinions lolol

Well, first and foremost, your MC is meant to be who you want them to be. You can give your character any background you want to give them because you're the one cultivating the story. If you feel a strong sense of comfort by having your MC share your background to bring you peace and compassion, then you have every right to do that. 

The sweetest MCs often share facets of our personalities, after all. I put a little touch of myself into my all my CMCs and it helps me flesh them out to be more human, and in some cases, it helps me learn the best way to confront whatever I shared with that character!

So, Saeyoung with an MC who fully knows what it feels like to be in a situation where you're trapped and you can only pray every night that someday, you'll find a way out.

It gives you a unique position to sit next to him and empathize with what he's going through. Even if your situations aren't the exact same, you still understand what's happened to him and that means when you speak to him from the heart about your experiences, he'll know where you're coming from and he'll be able to open up to you a little bit faster than he would with someone who grew up in an environment that wasn't anything like what he went through. It's not to say that you'll have a better chance at talking to him because he can be a tough nut to crack, it's just that your words will resonate in a way that he can't deny.

He doesn't like the idea that somebody he cares about has gone through anything difficult and awful in their life, and it might be a bit tough to share your history with him because that might make him want to have you leave him even more. He wouldn't want to make your life more difficult than it already has been, so that'll be an interesting conversation to have with him about what you feel, what you can handle, and how you wanting to be with him isn't a burden.

You could take this a long way by really flushing out a healthy conversation with him about why he tries to minimize what he suffered for the sake of maximizing what somebody else went through. He's the kind of person who beats himself up because “it wasn't that bad for him, it was much worse for his brother.” You have the unique position to hold his hand and let him know that he suffered, too, and it's okay to talk about it. 

If this is a comfort scenario for you, you can take this anywhere, my friend.

[crybabychita]

Hi I would appreciate it if you could give some input/advise on the situation 💕so I found out that the guy I was talking to long distance and met in person many times had a girlfriend all this time, we were talking for over a year....I’m just very hurt. As soon as I knew and the girlfriend showed him proof of it he blocked me even though they broke up...And I was just about to go see him. I don’t understand it. He kept on telling me to stop calling him, that it’s clearly over to move on and find someone else and I was mean back but still it’s very hurtful of him. Now, after a month he’s been calling me many times yesterday and day before, texted me saying to answer I told him I would call him after work so I did then I call him and I was like hi and he goes “hi what’s up” and I was like “just at home” and he goes okay I have two things to say: “are you calling from private number I keep getting calls” and I was like “no” and he goes “oh okay and also I just wanted to apologize clear the air sorry you went through all that” and I was like “okay” then he hangs up didn’t even say bye and then calls back like 20 minutes later and I missed the call and tried calling him back but no answer...ever since that I’m blocked. I’m just hurt and don’t know how to feel about it. Our relationship had been hard to say the least being long distance and all and don’t understand why he would end it as soon as she found out like he’s been cheating and hopes to get her back? They broke up she told me herself? Why does he not want to see me? And why would he continually ask me if I’m calling from private numbers if he knew it was me? I’m just really hurting

alright, where to begin w this? ur doing way too much worrying and thinking for someone who doesn’t deserve it & it’s that simple. we can give them the benefit of the doubt or as much understanding as humanly possible but it doesn’t change the fact that his actions show he doesn’t care. based on that alone, drop him & his weirdo behavior. he is going back & forth w contacting you bc it feeds his ego to know you’re in distress over it/still care/thinking ab him. at this point, whether the feelings were real or not, all he cares ab is the attention, validation, ego stroke, and the pain he’s infliction on u & the other biddie.

it’s sad to admit but, more often that not, it is all just a game to them. granted, it’s a game created out of their own insecurity & fear & in the moment, it feels like you’re the only one being played & hurt. but in the long run, those ppl are damaging themselves too & bypassing all the important life lessons they’re supposed to learn in relationships. they’re ultimately stunting their own growth, and ppl will notice that in the future and steer away from them. because no one has time for an immature, self-centered dickhead… hope this helps luv, CHOOSE YOU

[geenalovesthelittlethings]

basically i thought she had already been helped so i moved on to something else (wrong of me to assume and i’ve learned that lesson) and it was maybe 15 seconds until my coworker asked her if she had been helped and she said no and i didn’t have time to apologize bc my brain went blank bc stressful situation and another customer walked in at that exact moment and then not even 5 minutes later she calls our office giving them a description of me and asking for my name. like????

LITERALLY THAT IS SO FUCKING STUPID. Like I'm sorry, for her to get so bent over THAT that she has to call and complain? People truly need to get a grip I swear. It is really not that deep and like, in life sometimes you have to wait or there's miscommunications or whatever and you move on. We're all just doing our best. People are so quick to bitch and moan about things that are ultimately so trivial and not worth it. So you had to wait a few extra seconds to be helped, big deal. It sounds like she is someone who just looks for ways to complain or for people she can take out her anger on or whatever.

I'm really sorry that happened, baby. It's really unfair. Everything will be okay. If they ask about it I would explain just like you did to me and that you realize you should have double checked to make sure she had been helped and that you will do that going forward.