#basically use him to make some bullshit justification for the camera still existing in some form even if its a different one

[arolesbianism]

Heartbreaking! My suspicions abt Wagstaff having some fucked up timeline shit going on were correct and now I have to scramble to come up with an excuse to not have to completely overhaul my entire swap au (it won't be hard my excuse is that it's an au so I can do what I want)

[titleknown]

Abomination Foundry: MORTAL COMBAT!

Yes, dear viewers, I have returned, from making a copyright-free “New” And “Improved” Marvel Universe, to bring you the next level of the ultimate in fighting games! No not Skullgirls! Or Guilty Gear. Or Divekick.

No it’s Mortal Combat, which I can’t believe nobody knows how to spell correctly! And I have taken it as my duty to pitch a revamp of this great franchise for the 90s! The 2010s are the new 90s you know.

And I will be using these excellent Dollmakers by Deviantart User Molim to do so, and create an all-new roster of lucrative and merchandisable characters!

I will also be giving a Tier Ranking for each of these characters, keeping in mind that I have no idea how the fuck fighting games work in the slightest! Let’s begin, after the break!

So, all the main Ninjas are elementals. Sub-Zero is Ice, Smoke is Smoke, Rain is obnoxious Prince references and Scorpion is Edgelord. So, thusly, I introduceto you the main ninja of this entry in the franchise Quick Hit People, the Bootleg Element-Ninja!

Well, we think he’s a ninja. The order of the Lin Kuei; who I’m gonna be calling the Recolor Ninjas now because that’s basically what they are; just saw him one day and decided to play along because he was powerful enough with his school of “FUN FOR UNITED FARMILIAR!” martial arts, IE basically nonsensically altered versions of everyone else’s martial arts that appeared to go off at random. Even when they did not want them to.

Such is the price of a being mysterious assassin order who makes bad decisions like working with Quan Chi, or standing close enough to this weirdo that you can slemm the carcinogens and lead poisoning. And yes he does use his Unenecessary Chest Light for all of his moves and fatalities.

His Tier Ranking is Top Tier with his baffling array of moves that plays mind-games with the tourney scene and random special moves gotten just by bashing at buttons like a monkey, such as his obnoxiously persistent freezing “ike brass” which refuses to go away, or his dynamite copy of Scorpion’s trademark move “COME OVER TO PLACE!”

And now, we gotta have a deity, but he’s gotta be relatable to the kids!  And what’s more relatable to the kids than soul-crushing service industry work!

Thusly, we have the character Wei-Tare! He is a god of waiters. Not the most powerful god, but fuckit, Raiden’s apparently evil now, so in lieu of a thunder god, here’s a waiter god, underemployed. He’d rather be working as a cooler god; like a God of Soulnados or of Face-Eating-Acid-Lizards, but you have to pay the bills somehow, even if it involves participating in Mortal Combat,

His tier ranking is Top Tier , as he spams you with breadsticks; some of which contain actual spam and with his devistating iterative attacks of First Course, Second Course, Mein Entree, where the new X_Ray system can show you all the parts of his opponent’s breakfast they go through. Like that one Strong Bad Email!

His major fatality, of course, is One Waffer Thin Mint. Because Kano ripped off Temple of Doom, we can get away with ripping off Monty Python. And you know what, fuckit, he also has Killer Rabbit Hossenfeffer, It’s still moving!

In an attempt at being “progressive” to “make more money,” we have the “mysterious” Kloak (No Not That One the Other One), the least naked female character I could make! Yes that is her full name, DKC 2 already has a Kloak and I don’t wanna get sued!

She’s a mystery, an enigma, an I-couldn’t-figure-out-a-backstory-before-the-deadline, but her goal is to put some goddamn clothes on everyone! It’s too fucking naked in here, everybody get the fuck dressed!

Her tier is Top Tier, with the blasts of sweatpants and mumuus garbing her opponents and slowing them to a crawl, providing a deadly de-buffing option of the kind which I’m pretty sure does exist somewhere in fighting games!

Her fatality; contrary to the usual MK fare; puts more skin on an opponent rather than ripping it off! Don’t ask how she did it, aside from the fact that it made one ESRB member vomit when we showed it to ‘em!

Those of us on the Abomination Foundry team (WHO KNOW WHAT’S GOOD FOR THEM) proudly relish and cherish the money the cross-promotion the something we get from synergy with our sponsors. Thusly, John Americangladiators was created by the Recolor Ninjas as a part of an attempt at selling a robot version of America’s top athlete-in-silly-costumes television show, rejected due to factors they didn’t consider; mainly it being frowned upon to use aactual cyborgs in television after the “Automan” incident.

So now he does the usual rejected-television-cyborg things, spouting catchphrases, participating in pysical challenges (that take the form of gornographic sporting tournaments) and begging for death!

His tier is Top Tier, with his ability to do all sorts of violent versions of the American Gladiators moves such as… Well something. I never really watched American Gladiators.

But, every game needs an Everyman character, and every Mortal Combat game needs a monster character, and thus Amish Darkmaul is the best of both worlds! From the Outland Monster-Amish, he was a peaceful farmer until all the bullshit happened and they ruined his barn.

And now, without buttons but with a fist glowing with dark power from cleaning out the assholes of Nightmare Sheep on the farm for aeons, he’s not leaving until he gets the tournament money to fix his fucking barn.

His tier is Top Tier, because while even the Outland/Underworld-y Place’s Amish do not use isolating technologies, you can go straight the fuck buck wild with magic, which he combines with his dark fist and farming sickles to harvest health to heal and to put a stunlock hitbox on opponents. I think those are fighting game terms for powers probably.

His most notable fatality is bringing a beautiful baby Nightmare Sheep into the world with the miracle of birth. Through the opponent’s sternum.

And now, in an effort to make the nakedest female character in an effort to win over the “total sleazebag who can’t just look up nudity on the internets” demographic, yet another biological experiment from Shang Tsung’s Flesh Pits, it’s Kompletely Justified, or Komjust for short!

You may balk at her nakedness, but when you find out the reason for it, you will be ashamed of your words and deeds.

Namely, she never could remember her special moves when training so she just wrote them down all over herself. ARE YOU NOT ASHAMED YET?!

Also, she is asexual. And collects die-cast Japanese robots, which is relatively tough to do in the Japanese feudal fantasy world that is Outerealm.

Her tier is Top Tier; with her ability to change the camera location to hide her nudity and avoid this game getting an AO rating, with enough sensuous made-of-nightmare-meat body-horror attacks to invent several fetishes! Which we will be selling material of on our tie-in website.

Her fatality is calling your mom and telling her how you’ve wasted your life. With a phone made out of her flesh.

In an attempt at bringing equality to the man-hole that was their cyborg lineup, the Recolor Ninjas grossly misunderstood the idea of equal representation and forcibly mutilated one of their female members into the cyborg GURL, with all the attacks we think the 18-to-24 female demographic will love IF THEY KNOW WHAT’S GOOD FOR THEM!

She was likely a transwoman in her human life, but the Recolor Ninjas do not judge. All are equal in the eyes of their horrifying bodily-alteration program.

Her tier is Top Tier, because this kitten’s got claws! Ha ha ha, and also a control-reversing neurotoxin in one of her boob-vents and a spammable Hadouken -gas spout in the other. Yes Hadouken Gas is totally a thing. Haven’t you read the Bible?!

Her fatality is GIRRRRRRL POWER, by which I mean “cutting off their legs; tongue eyes; hands BUT NOT THE EARS so you can hear the taunts of those who see you groping in the gutter, begging for a death that shal not reach you because death is not so merciful you insolent whelps...”

And now in the spirit of MC, we made the edgiest female character ever, Kannybul Korps, a demon from parts unknown who totally didn’t get lost on the way to the Thrill Kill auditions and just ended up going along with it because it was too awkward not to.

I was going to have her be made entirely of blood, but apparently Mortal Combat already fucking has that a character by the name of Skarlet. Because of course they do. But she did get the cap from the most evil military of all time… The US Millitary. CHOMSKY WAS RIGHT DAMMIT!

Her tier is Top Tier, with almost no hitbox and all hurtbox, because she’s ALL EDGE BAYBEE! I’d tell you what her fatality is but it’s TOO HOT FOR THIS WEBSITE, and also I couldn’t think of a good one.

And now for the obligatory bullshit-boss-character of the game, it’s THE ORIGINAL (do not steal), who bears no resemblance to any other known fictional character whatsoever please don’t sue us Disney!

He’s a recreation of the original Mega God who ate the other Elder Gods until they split him into a bunch o different worlds, made from the very essence of every plane into a singular simulacra, and he just wants to smoke some goddamn weed man, but if you wanna fight, cool, it’s alright I guess.”

...It’s still better than that one firey fucker at the top of the pyramid, AND YOU’LL LIKE IT GOD-DAMMIT!

His tier is Top Tier, and we have made the bold move of making all his special moves fatalities. Some may say this is “cheating” or “a flimsy justification for making us buy the Five-Gallon-Jug-O-God-PCP microtransactions every time you try to beat single player” but to that we say, FUCK YOU, RESPECT THE ARTIST, GOLD TOILETS DON’T COME CHEAP GOD-DAMMIT!

And thus, we have our entire core roster. And, don’t worry if this looks small, we’re hard at work at seeing how much we can get away with charging for the other characters waiting in the wings. Because, why sell people an actual full game when you can sell them two halves for double the price!

That’s the American way, and that’s fucking video games now, so suck it the fuck down babies and drink the garbage-milk!

...What do you mean “rejected for being too honest?!”

All joking and deadline-failing aside, if you like that and want to support me; consider joining my Patreon; where you get previews; polls deciding which things I do next, and even art and writing at the higher tiers!

And, of course, while the actual art/art assets are owned by the folks who made them and the Dollmaker, the character designs and concepts are free to use, as you see fit, as long as I; Thomas F. Johnson; am credited as their creator.