#basically i'm absolutely using this flag it is mine i love it i finally got something good out of my. shitfucked anxiety

[thereareeyesinsidethetrees]

[image id: a flag with nine stripes, the innermost stripe being thinner than the others. from middle out, they are white, peach, medium pink, dark pink, and extremely dark magenta. in the center is a simplistic drawing of a rabbit face, with white fur and dark pink lineart. both its ears are perked up. /end id]

Anxiety Disorder

.・。.・゜★・.・☆・゜・。.

Definition: An Anxiety Disorder is a mental health condition characterized by excessive and persistent feelings of fear, worry, or apprehension. These feelings can be intense, disproportionate to the actual threat, and often interfere with daily life, causing significant distress and impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.

.・。.・゜★・.・☆・゜・。.

Requested by: no one

↩︎ request info

.・。.・゜★・.・☆・゜・。.

Note: inspired by this flag for the bunny!

(term coined: N/A) (flag made: 08/04/2023)

[cultofstan]

My love for Bane!!

Before you read, I want to make it clear that there are some nsfw parts to this posts. If you are under 18, please don't read!

This post will go over various details and reasons why my heart belongs to the big green giant know as Bane from Batman and Robin (1997). Get ready for a long read, because I've got a lot to say.

(If you haven't check out my Bane Wallpapers, go do check them out! They bring me so much joy, I hope they do the same for you ppl too!)

His mask is very cool and unique, because if you look closer you see they used Bane's comic book mask as a base and then just changed the mouth area and added black eye pieces on top of the red piece he normally sees out of. Imo, it is the best movie Bane mask we have ever had! A lot of people hate the multiple tubes coming out of his head, but I think it makes things extra spicy! A constant reminder that your not just dealing with any normal super human, you dealing with a venom infused one that can fight you like it's nothing! The bulging veins that can be seen in certain lighting is a detail I feel deserves more love. It adds to his big and tough demeanor. You can really tell the venom is working wonders on him! The zipper on the top of the head and the fact that his mask is most likely made of tight leather or latex brings thr entire thing together and is truly a marvel to look at! I absolute love it!💚Imagining him slick that smooth, stretchy, husky mask on while the venom starts to pump into his brain and muscles just does things to me. If Bane offered me a chance to wear it, venom or not, I would do it in a heart beat! It would probably reek of sweat, his bad breath, and of old leather, but I wouldn't care. Just the thought of inhale all those smells brings me a joy I can't describe! 😍

When I was a kid, in addition to his lovely mask, his clothing choice was another thing I loved about him. It looks like Bane is just wearing a black cotton tank top with some black sturdy pants, but I've always the headcannon that it's actually very flexible black latex one piece! It makes a lot more sense when you notice his collar, chest harness, wrist bands, crotch diaper, and boots are also make out of a harder leather with spikes and studs! I swear, half of my clothing choices/dreams come from this man! His boots, for the most part, are very frankenstein/gothic inspired with thick sole and it going all the way to his knees. The copper rivets are the only things that make them stand out, imo. I've had thoughts were in order to prove my love to him I have to lick or kiss his boots while he judges. I'd hate it for the most part, because they probably taste like dirty and dust, but I want him to know that I do love him, so I'd do small smooches starting from his toes and work my way up his leg until I'm straight up licking his boots. I'd get so carried away he'd probably make me stop pretty quickly so I don't get sick 😂. His spiked collar and wrist bands are easily the clothing items I want the most! Any time I see someone on the street with spikes in their clothing I immediately think about him. Because he's worn them for so long, they're probably not that tight or rough but still firm enough to not sag. Maybe even a little flaky in certain parts. I don't think I'm comfortable with myself enough to wear a collar in public but I've come so close to buying spiky wrist bands or gauntlets it's crazy I don't actually own a pair yet. One day, I'm sure. His crotch diaper, for lack of a better name for it, is the one thing I'm 50/50 on. Some days I think it really adds to his look, especially with the spikes that go out. Plus, to a certain extent, it makes practical sense because that way heroes cant go from behind his and try to restrain him, or can't throw too many kicks, without getting poked/cut by the spikes. But other days I think it just doesnt look that great, because it ultimatly looks like a big metal diaper, it takes away from his intimidation. Plus, I won't be able to give him proper hugs! (I want to give daddy all the hugs he deserves! 💚) His chest piece is what brings everything together. The little Bane symbol is so cute, I've always looked for a pin or something to buy but no luck. I actually used to have this Bane cape that I won at Six Flags when I was little. I cut the symbol of his face out of it and tried multiple times to attach it to my jean jackets but I suck at sowing. 🥲 The leather straps that hold the chest piece compliment the other leather pieces of his outfit. The metal looking chest piece looks wonderful and adds a layer to his character that I both love and hate. In this movie he's a drone, a mindless agent that is only allowed to follow orders. I'll will discuss this in a bit. But for the record, I hate the fact that Bane is written as big dumb idiot in this movie. It's the one big problem I have with him, which sucks because I literally love everything else about him!

I've probably watch the Bane transformation scene in Batman and Robin, like, a thousand times. No joke. I didn't realize it then, but seeing a short, thin, twink become a tall, hulking, king really hit my desires in the right way. Like, now, I know for sure that's one of my kinks and it makes me so damn happy! Granted, I've never been skinny in my life, but I've always wanted to be a musclar and strong man, so it makes sense why I love this scene so much. It's a literally fantasy of mine brought to life! More specifically, I've always wanted to be a type of strong that allows me to run miles like it's nothing, throw punches that instantly knock someone out, and lift so much weight that I borderline have a superhero body. Don't get me wrong, this is seriously mentally unhealthy because I know it's kind of impossible considering my personality and the actuality of gaining so much muscle, but I believe as long as I realize it's a dream and not beat myself up over it, it's not too bad of a thought to have. Actually, if you think about it, this Bane is kind of a plus size body representation. Sure he's got giant arms that can crush my bones like tooth pics, but he's pretty bulky with a big belly. That might be too much of a stretch to say, and I totally understand if people don't agree with. That being said, I have to say it, this man probably gives the best hugs in all of Gotham! He's so big that you don't even need a jacket in the house! Just let him embrace you and you'll never feel alone or cold again! His thick hands holding you in really tight, his muscles locking you in and warming your arms, while his gut pushes you back a little of your feet, like he wants to swoop you into his arms and carry you! 🥰 He'd be careful with his spikes of course, don't worry. A detail that sends me over the moon about Bane in this movie is his green skin. I can't put my finger on it, but it really adds to the whole transformation and therefore my thirst for him grows even bigger! Especially because it's completely unique to the movie. It looks so good that I wonder why the comics haven't adopted something similar.

I could go for hours about how I think the writers butchered Bane's character in this movie, but I want this post to mainly act as a positive appreciation post/background for head cannons that I might post about him one day. So to end, and give a taste, I'll finally talk about Bane being a drone in this movie. In weird way, because he's played as a mindless servent, it makes this version of Bane one of the easier Bane's for me to fantasies about. This is because in the movie, it's implied Bane only follows Poison Ivy because she was the first person he didn't see as a threat. Plus, I wouldn't be surprised if she used some of her suductive powers on him. (I would too, just saying) So, with that established, I like that he's a mindless drone because it means that, in my head, he's not exactly my "servant" but he will basically do whatever I say. Why? Because I will prove to him I not a threat either, and only want to love him!! He'll have a concuious and his own goals, and I'll follow along and help because I trust him and want to support him, but, for the most part, he will do what I say and love me in return. I could explain this more, but I want to save the juicy parts for the follow up post I have planned for this. 😏

If you've read this far, thank you. From the bottom of my hear. I've never wrote something this personal or long. I hope I can continue to do more of these, if I'm passionate enough.

[blooming-blooming]

Can you explain more about the Eliphas’ rhetoric towards Yuma and the Hellshark was Yoshida hating women? And him hating women in general? Sorry. I'm confused. Sorry if you're mad.

I’m not mad at all, don’t worry! I know Yoshida is... a touchy subject among female YGO fans, to say the least, but I really don’t mind expanding on my thoughts. I was originally going to just put the Eliphas part under a cut for length but... I have a lot of thoughts on this, so I’m going to put most of it under a cut for the sake of peoples’ feeds. As always, people can rb if they want, idc.

This ask is about this vent post, which in turn is me piggybacking off this post I reblogged. The post I reblogged in particular being a very common plight among wlw shounen fans, and is why I overwhelmingly prefer shoujo to the point that YGO is quite literally the only shounen series I like besides one other shounen manga with a near all female cast.

Perhaps (though many will disagree with me) saying Yoshida hates women was a bit harsh. However, he has explicitly said in a blurb at the back of a volume of the Zexal manga that he very rarely, if at all, writes women when left to his own devices - to the point that the artist literally had to convince him to make the manga-only character Luna female because there were no female characters contributing to the story.

So, at the very least, Yoshida is very much not fond of writing women into his stories, whether intentional or not on his part (because what he said very much reads to me like he doesn’t intend to not write women, however: unintentional misogyny is still misogyny, and I think reflects subconscious views he has on women as a result).

As for how this plays into IV and Shark’s relationship and my feelings towards it: I’m gonna be blunt, HellShark is one of my absolute favorite ships in the franchise despite the lack of content I make for it. IV V Nasch in particular is a duel that means a lot to me wrt my own trauma and older unhealthy coping mechanisms as reflected in IV’s character. 

However.

It’s also very, very hard to ignore that a lot of their canonical, on screen interactions are directly at the expense of Rio. The entire foundation for IV and Ryoga’s relationship is that IV set Rio on fire, that Ryoga wants revenge for Rio, and, in II that IV wants to make things up to Ryoga for what he did to Rio.

Yet, Rio Kamishiro herself is never present for any of this. We are never  oncegiven an opinion from Rio about what IV did to her. At best, we have it mentioned in a 3Ds game that isn’t canon that she wants to talk things out with IV, but nothing in the anime itself. This is a very blatant red flag. Rio spends 80 episodes in a coma for this, wakes up from said coma, then is put into another coma before she can sort things out. In general, Rio has very little, if any agency of her own from the time her and Shark start realizing they’re Barians until the Barians start attacking Heartland.

This also plays into my comment about Megumi Han, Rio’s voice actress. The friend of mine who got me to watch Zexal watched it herself as it aired, and mentioned that Han accidentally slipped up/leaked Rio being Merag right before the Barian backstory arc. Because of her then being put into a coma right when things started to involve the Kamishiros and her being shown with IV in the ED, this lead to a rumor coming out that her and IV were supposed to talk things out in canon, but they wrote Rio’s character out as punishment. However, it’s just that: a rumor, and nothing more, so take it with a grain of salt.

As for Eliphas:

Juuuuust so I’m not talking completely out of my ass (as I often do), I’ll be citing this article by Masami Tamagawa, particularly the subsection of it linked therein. 

The rundown is: family structures are a very key cornerstone in Japanese society, with a very distinctive focus on relation to the father. Keeping this structure in tact is very key for career movement; particularly for men, who are traditionally viewed as the breadwinners while the wives stay home. Risking straying from this structure not only puts your family at risk, but yourself as well - leading to many LGBT JP people to stay closeted.

With this in mind, Eliphas is the known creator of Astral, and also explicitly created Barian when he banished all Astral beings who had chaos in them so that Astral World could continue to prosper. This already lays the foundation for an allegory to conservatism down, but in particular the way he, Astral’s patriarch, talks about Yuma’s chaotic (gay) relationship with Astral and how Yuma defends himself goes much further in this.

The foundation for Eliphas’ stance and rhetoric on keeping Astral away from Yuma isn’t the “impurity” of their love, though it is a major component, but rather: their love, and Yuma encouraging Astral to think for himself and find his own purpose detracts him for furthering the prosperity of Astral World. Because of Astral’s relationship, he is denying Eliphas, his family, the opportunities to further society. Afaik, this is a very major point for JP conservatism as a whole - however, my source mostly focuses on the family aspect, so I will refrain from going further on that.

Yuma’s defense to this basically boils down to “we’ve argued, but all I have ever truly done to Astral is love him.”

The article linked also goes into what an extreme generation gap Japan now has with regards to viewing LGBT cultures, and cites the 90s gay boom to exposure in the identities as a reason. Yuma’s final line in this defense reads very strongly as a generational argument/parallel to me:

Eliphas’ rhetoric is furthered when Yuma summons Hope, a direct symbol of Yuma and Astral’s relationship:

He refers to it as an “abnormality born from irregularity”, directly accusing Hope of only existing at all for deviating from the social norms, which is bad. Yuma again refutes that there is nothing wrong with Hope, just as there is nothing wrong with him and Astral being together.

This is all just from the first episode of this duel. I’m sure I could go on, but I’ll be blunt: while I like the themes and allegory of Yuma V Eliphas, I hate the pacing and don’t even want to skim through more. 

However, I do feel based on everything above, combined with the two being canon in the manga also written by Yoshida (with an argument I can very easily make that they’re canon in the finale of the anime as well - but that’s for another post), and again, Alit canonically being in love with Yuma being used as a point of sympathy for him and the Barians’ situation, that Yuma and Astral are a very deliberate and very intentional LGBT narrative. 

As someone whos gay relationship was recently sabotaged by her GF’s parents, all of Yuma’s points hit EXTREMELY close to home for me in particular - and, I’ll be frank: I’m friends with a lot of Zexal fans in gay relationships, and literally all of them have picked up on having the exact same sentiments as Yuma, be it to someone close or society at large - at some point in their lives.

[whipplefilter]

Can you make some kind of cute fic with Ryan Laney in it? I dunno, just something with him doing something cute like he is with those cute teal eyes!! (I'm using cute too much x3) I saw he is your new 2nd fav next gen after Jackson, so, I thought I'd ask! :)

The Next-Gens are all about their racing simulators, sure. But I love the idea of some of them playing like, distinctly nerdy non-competitive, non-action-based games. XD The game Ryan and his mysterious friend 2020 are playing in this fic is like… some weird cross between Animal Crossing, Harvest Moon, Star Wars, and Age of Empires. XD

Fic: 2020

Ryan Laney has a secret.

At 9PM on Fridays, Ryan winds down from practice by logging in to his favorite video game. It’s an MMORPG–and no, it has nothing to do with racing. At 9PM on Fridays, Ryan’s not a professional racer. He’s a moisture farmer on Tatooine.

His goals are simple: Farm enough moisture to make a decent living; maybe send his nephew to college. Find a girl. Level high enough to build that bomb shelter so he can survive the airstrike in Level 5 (something he has failed multiple times now).

“I’m telling you, I don’t think it’s possible to buy the Mega Drill and then have enough credits left over to not starve to death. You can’t get the shelter unless you co-invest. We need to team up,” he says over his headset.

“It’s possible. You just have to play a perfect game.” says another player–Hindsight2020. Right now it’s just Ryan and six other guys on Tatooine, and the other guys have their mics turned off. It’s not exactly the most popular game.

“Okay, but that’s stupid. Why would you run the same level for 50 hours just to figure out how to get a perfect score, just to get this dumb bomb shelter? If you give 500 and I give 500 we can just buy it right now and move on to Level 6!” Ryan counters.

“So perfection is stupid? That explains a lot about you.”

“I’m just talking about straight-up efficiency, man. Besides, we’re moisture farmers. The whole point is to work together.”

“You know that transport that crashed back in Level 3? I salvaged radioactive lead from it. I could contaminate your whole mine if I wanted to.”

“Cool,” says Ryan. “Go for it.”

Hindsight2020 farms some moisture. He re-tarps his garage. He adds a sand sculpture to his front yard. He doesn’t poison anything. Because if he takes Ryan out, it’s just him and six boring dudes–one of whom is building a sand castle so large he definitely has to be pouring real money into this dumb game.

Frankly, Ryan’s surprised Hindsight2020 hasn’t dropped some cash into it, just to show castle guy up. Ryan knows he’s got the finances, and he’s definitely not lacking for spite.

“Did you read the new rules package yet? The new aero specs look good; I’m pretty stoked,” Ryan says to 2020.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” 2020 replies.

“Okay.”

Ryan barters some moisture for clay from a neighboring planet. He’s planning to retrofit his well. If you’re gonna play a perfect game, he figures, he’s going to have to level up his well.

“Can I trade you for some of that?” asks 2020.

“Whatever,” says Ryan. But he flips to the trade screen to see what 2020’s offering.

500 credits.

For a bit of clay that’s probably worth half that, at best.

With an extra 500 credits in the bank, Ryan’s got his bomb shelter.

Ryan’s never really thought about what his fellow players look like, on their side of the screen. One of the things he likes about this game is that it doesn’t matter who you are: On Tatooine, you’re all moisture farmers. But he wishes 2020 could see his face right now. He doesn’t have words to convey his surprise.

He clicks ‘Accept.’

Within minutes, Ryan’s got the bomb shelter that will save his life about half a level from now, and for the first time ever, he’ll finally get to see Level 6. Rumor has it the Trade Ship starts selling new kinds of drillbits, which is exciting.

Ryan scrolls to the other side of the planet, where 2020’s farm is. He’s redone his roof yet again. With the clay, he’s made himself a patio painted xylophone colors. It’s…nice, Ryan supposes, but 2020 obviously knows it’s all about to be obliterated. He knows that air raid’s coming.

When 2020 notices Ryan’s cursor hovering over his house, he says, “Watch this,” and starts clicking the tiles. For the first few seconds, it’s just a mess of noise.

Then it’s Doo-DOO-do-do-do-DOOOO-do do-do-do-DOO-do dodododo-doooooooo. Which is still basically a mess of noise, but it’s a mess of noise Ryan instantly recognizes as ‘Star-Wars-theme-played-on-tile-xylophone.’ It’s pretty freaking awesome.

“What happened to ‘play a perfect game?’” Ryan laughs. “Dude, this is amazing! You’re amazing.”

“It’s just a stupid game,” says 2020.

Five minutes later, Level 5’s air raid comes and Ryan is safe in his bomb shelter and 2020’s xylophone house burns to the ground. Ryan doesn’t have to put the fire out–it’s a waste of water, frankly, and it’s not like it’ll bring 2020 back; Game Over in this game is Game Over. He does anyway, though.

On Sunday, Ryan Laney is racing for third. More specifically, Cruz is racing for third. Ryan’s caught in her dirty air, and is flopping all over the freaking place. Ryan can’t hear the announcers, but he’s sure they’re having an absolute field day with this. He feels more like a flag than he does a car that’s ever gonna win one.

Then something tags his back bumper. Just a tap at first, then sustained contact, shoving him up the field. The added momentum settles him some, and he finds his line again. His speedometer crawls 1mph faster, 3 mph faster. It’s not much, but it’s enough.

It’s Storm behind him.

The second Ryan noses past Cruz, takes the angle from her and drops her back to fifth, Storm lets up off Ryan’s back and passes him easily. But now that he’s out of Cruz’s air, Ryan’s got third in the bag. It’ll be his highest finish all season, and Storm knows it.

“Dude, what’s with you and Storm?” Bubba asks him after the race. “Lap 290, he was totally helping you out.”

Ryan brushes him off. “I dunno, man. He hates Cruz; I was a convenient prop. It’s not like it kept him from beating my butt afterward. Storm’s just a weird… weird strategic mastermind dude.”

“Whatever you say.” Bubba keeps an eye on Storm, who’s fielding an interview on the other side of pit row.

“You jealous?” Ryan teases. “Don’t worry. You’ll always be my #1, Bubs.”

It’s Friday again, and Ryan logs into his moisture farm on Tatooine again.

2020’s there, too.

“Hey man,” greets Ryan. “Thanks for the bump-draft the other day.”

“You keep saying stuff like it’s supposed to mean something,” says 2020. “I’m not your diary. I don’t care about your life. Are we gonna split the bomb shelter this time or what?”

Ryan grins. “Sure thing, 20. Can you do that xylophone thing again? But like, inside the shelter this time?”

“I don’t do encores,” says 2020. “Watch this, though.”

2020’s a freaking showoff, but Ryan doesn’t mind.

Ryan Laney has a secret.