#bakugou wouldn't have come half as far mentally without Deku

[pelicantoes]

I just have to rant about Bakudeku. And since I have nobody who could possible, hypothetically, magnanimously understand (if you're pissed off about my misuse of those words, good) in my own admittedly very small inner circle I am forced to resort to this hellhole tumblr, so thank you for bearing with me. Because this is gonna be a wild fucking ride about my stupid obsession and deep feelings about Bakudeku, because it's fucking 12pm and I'm sleep-deprived, and almost on my period, and entirely too emotional and I have just read the most heartwrenching fanfics about those two, and I WILL make it everyone's problems because I'm OBSESSED.

Okay so, it's just the fucking rivalry, those two idiots have been through so much. And Bakugou is an absolute toxic bitch to Deku at first, but it's about the reasons behind it that make it work. The fucking inferiority complex towards someone who is quirkless, towards someone who should be lesser than him, who he knows is lesser than him, and somehow for some fucking reason he feels threatened. This kid wirh his helpful nature and his caring and compassion and always being so bright and optimistic. Bakugou loathes it because he can handle himself, but he can't handle the idea of someone being so kind in a world that is out to get him and that disadvantages and is even hostile to him at every single turn. Somebody whose literal dreams got crushed at the age of 4. He doesn't get it, Deku should be a depressed, cowering loser, but he isn't. He's bright and good. And Bakugou can't fathom it, he wants to crush him.

And then they get to ua and Deku has this crazy quirk and he feels lied to. And he must wonder why Deku would keep such a thing hidden for so long, why would he subject himself to the horror of growing quirkless when he might very well be more powerful. How could he let somebody like Bakugou hurt and belittle him when he had the power to dominate him all along. And I think it's jarring for him, because he probably sees the world as a place where the strongest survive, the strongest rule. And Midoriya hiding such a thing from him wouldn't make any sense at all eith that worldview, because naturally Deku would have wielded this power to gain more control over others, just like he did. And I think it added another dimension, because Deku isn't only kind because he's quirkless and therefore would need something going for him, he actively chose to remain kind that entire time. Despite the amount of control he could have had.

It's like Midoriya is a living embodiment of everything Bakugou does not understand due to how he's raised and that scares him, so he obsesses over him. In the same way Midoriya sees Bakugou as the ideal to beat. He has always looked up to Bakugou and his quirk and his power. It's a result of seeing him praised ever since he was a young kid. And Midoriya's obsession stems from the fact that he wants to be better than Bakugou. It's telling to me that it's Bakugou he wants to beat, not Allmight. Bakugou wants to beat Allmight, he wants to be the best, but Midoriya wants to beat the person he's always idealized and seen as the best, up close and personal. The best in his generation, not the current number 1 hero who will have retired by the time they're proheroes.

Ans there's just always this push and pull between them, they are always áware of the other's movements. They unlock in eachother a type of vulnerability that neither of them have with any of the characters, a kind of bond I have not often seen in any media. It's so raw and unfltered, it's wanting to beat the other, proving to the world they're the best, but it's also deeply intimate. Even though they would fight and taunt and jab at eachother, they trust eachother, they rely on eachother to keep them going. They would feel lost without the other, it's like they're eachother's motivation to improve, but most importantly to live. I think their bond runs so deep that their life might loose all meaning if the other dies. It's how Bakugou grows from hate to begrudging respect, and Midoriya from being a push-over to valuing himself and getting better self-esteem, and finally getting to equal footing where they hurt and fight eachother, but it underlies the knowledge that they're equal, nothing they can do will truly take the other down. The push and pull. There's mutual respect, and trust and intimacy, they know eachother more than anyone. They're both so intense, and somehow they managed to find their match in terms of intensity from such a young age that this strange bond could blossom. It just took time to put them on equal footing so they could actually provide eachother with the intensity they crave so badly. Midoriya had the resolve and the stubbornness, but none of the brawn needed to provide an actual challenge to Bakugou, to be someone he could let loose with. Bakugou had too much pride and too much ego, to ever willingly give himself up for someone else, especially not for Midorya. Until the tables flipped, until Midoriya got his quirk, and he understands Bakugou more than anyone. And Bakugou realizes Midoriya is no longer that crybaby kid he could beat up whenever he wanted and their relationship just changed so much, to the point that Bakugou willingly put himself in harm's way for Midoriya.

It's just such a compelling and complex dynamic and I get teary-eyed whenever I find fanfic that perfectly captures their bond, because it's such a powerful and profound thing and I'm absolutely astounded that I would grow to like this ship so much. It's not even like I necessarily ship it romantically, it's like they can't live without the other, and it feels undefinable by romantic or platonic labels. It's like in an entirely different category. And fuck I am so invested in those two, but ugh just Them.