#b) I can't bury it because the ground is frozen

[tam--lin]

I just swapped three week's worth of food waste from the 5-gallon bucket in the kitchen to a closed bin in the basement to free up the bucket and allow the pre-compost to compost, and guys! I think it's working! The bucket smelled a little pickle-y but definitely not rotten, and I'm excited to see how it all looks in a few weeks.

[knaite-solo]

Dangerous - Zuko x Reader

Summary: When you don't leave your tent, Zuko gets worried and decides to do something about it. 

Pairing: Zuko x Waterbender!Reader

Genre: Fluff with some comedy

Warnings: Swearing and period stuff

Word count: 2856

That day, you didn't leave your tent.

Zuko was very attentive, but it didn't take much effort to realize that there was something wrong with you. It was unusual for you to avoid talking with the rest of the group. You always liked to interact with others and help even in the smallest tasks.

So when the hours went by, and you didn't leave, he started to get really concerned. The prince began to walk to your tent until he sensed a hand on his shoulder. When he turned around to see who it was, he found Sokka staring at him very seriously. So serious that it didn't suit his goofy character.

"Don't go in there." He said in a warning tone.

"What? Why?" Zuko asked with a confused expression.

"Just don't." Sokka looked around as if he was seeking for a hidden enemy and then whispered. "It's dangerous. Trust me, man."

Zuko decided not to enter your tent, at least not at that moment. Sokka's warning had left him confused. What could be so dangerous about you? He decided to gather more information. Maybe Toph or Aang could help.

                                          ☆

"So, what do you think?" Zuko asked Toph, who was lying on a stone while playing with her space rock.

"Probably some silly stuff." The earthbender said while changing her rock to numerous shapes.

"But Sokka said it was dangerous. Maybe she is ill or something." The prince tried to think about other possibilities. Toph just looked extremely tired of the conversation.

"Well, I tried to talk to her earlier in the morning..."

"And?"

"She cursed me for opening the tent and let light enter her eyes." Toph blew a few strands of hair in an annoyed attitude. "Sokka usually says dumb things, so I never thought I would agree with him on something. But he's right."

She stopped playing with her space rock and transformed it back in a bracelet, putting it in her arm.

"I don't know what happened, but I don't give a shit anyway."

Zuko just listened to Toph and tried to imagine you cursing her for just trying to talking with you, and he just couldn't. You were such good friends with everybody, especially Toph since she wasn't into girly things, neither were you. Both of you were so close that once he found out you two playing in the mud. Toph throwing mud at you with her earthbending and you with your waterbending. You just were Toph's best friend. Why would you treat her so badly out of nowhere?

"Thanks for the information, I think..." The prince said indecisively. He didn't know what to say since he noticed that Toph was lying about not caring about your mood change.

"It's was a pleasure talking to you, Sparky. Sadly I can't say the same about Y/n."

                                            ☆

"Are you sure she did that?" Aang was brushing Appa's fur while listening to Zuko talk about your weird attitude with Toph.

"Yes. And Toph was really mad. More than usual." The prince couldn't forget the eartbender's expressions as she talked about you. It was a mix of anger and deception.

"Maybe Y/n ate something bad?"

"But Sokka said that it was dangerous to go in her tent. I don't think it's food poisoning." Zuko also couldn't forget Sokka's serious expression. If it were in another context, it would be hilarious.

"Sokka and Katara had a strange fever not long ago." The airbender finally finished brushing Appa. The sky bison looked joyful. "They said strange things and couldn't do anything alone. Maybe it could be it."

"And how the fever stopped?"

"Well..." Aang let out a nervous chuckle. "They had to suck some frozen frogs."

"FROZEN WHAT-'' Zuko's eyes widened.

"MAYBE SHE ISN'T SICK, I DON'T KNOW!"

"HOW THE HELL AM I GOING TO FIND FROZEN FROGS HERE?" Zuko was already thinking about the worst.

"HOLY SHIT! CAN'T YOU ASSHOLES STOP SCREAMING? YOU'RE HURTING MY EARS!" Toph appeared out of nowhere while complaining and covering her ears.

"Why you guys keep using these bad words in front of Appa and Momo?" Aang asked in a withered tone. "They're innocent creatures..."

                                           ☆

Zuko was hopeless. Nobody seemed to be able to explain what was wrong with you and the list of people he could ask was almost over. There was only one person left.

"Katara." He called but she didn't seem to hear.

The waterbender was kneeling on the edger of a river while washing some clothes and sheets. She would submerge the fabrics in the water, rub them, and then dry them with her waterbending. Being a waterbending master had its advantages. She always used her bending in everyday activities, making things a thousand times easier. It was impossible not to look at her and not to be amazed at how easily she connected with the water and managed to manipulate it.

But then Zuko noticed that one of the sheets was different from the others. It had a red stain on it.

"Is this blood?"

Katara almost jumped after hearing that question. Because she was distracted, she hadn't noticed when the prince had approached much less he had called her and now she had been caught with that incriminating sheet in hand. And not any incriminating sheet, it was your incriminating sheet.

"B-Blood? I don't know what you're talking about!" Katara quickly hid the sheet behind her.

Zuko tried not to roll his eyes. He might be trying to become a better person, but that didn't mean he would accept to be made a fool of.

"I can still see the sheet behind you." He just said in a bored tone.

Katara blushed. She hated to lie but she hated to be caught in the lie the most.

"Sorry." She stopped trying to hide the cloth. "I didn't want you to see that."

"Why not?" Zuko looked again at the red stain. Now he was absolutely sure it was blood.

"It's kinda embarrassing to explain..." She returned to clean the sheet, focused on making the red stain disappear.

"I won't judge, I promise." Zuko reassured.

"It's a woman thing. Usually, we don't want people to notice when we are on our period, you know?"

"Oh."

As the stain started to dissolve and vanish in the river's stream, Zuko's mind clicked. Your period. Of course! How could he be so dumb? He felt his face starting to redden.

"So, Y/n is..."

"Yes, that's why I'm washing this." She lifted the sheet that now was wet. "But even if we try to be careful, accidents do happen. "And with a simple movement, she removed the water from the sheet, drying it in the process.

"Accidents, right." Zuko just pretended to agree. He understood generally what being on period meant, but that was all he knew. Part of him was never really interested in knowing more about it, but another part never had access to it, since the subject was considered taboo by most part of women. "I suppose it's impossible to be careful enough."

Katara immediately noticed how he didn't seem to know much of what they were talking about and a playful smile quickly appeared on her lips.

"You know you're not fooling anyone, are you?"

"What do you-"

"Zuko, it's okay to not know about things." The waterbender assured him. Her smile wasn't playful anymore. It switched to a tender one.

"I-I-" The prince started to blush again. He really wanted to understand more about theses "girly things" and how he could make you feel better but it was just so difficult to ask. "I don't-"

"Don't worry. I won't tease you." Katara started to get up with the basket of clean clothes in hand.

Zuko looked away, focusing on the camp before answering. The prince imagined you trapped in that tent, acting in that moody way for a reason you couldn't control. He really wanted to help you, and if that meant he had to go over all his shame and male pride, he would.

"Fine. " He answered while pinching the bridge of his nose. "But don't tell Sokka."

"Why would I-"

"Don't tell Toph either."

"But why-"

"Actually, don't tell anyone."

                                          ☆

Today your period was getting the best of you. Your mood was shit. You had been turning over all night because of hellish cramps so it was expected that you wanted to sleep until later. But then when Toph, who was unaware of your situation, tried to talk to you, you were extremely rude to her. Actually, even if you tried to tell Toph that you were on your period, she wouldn't understand since she hadn't had her first yet, but you still had no right to curse her just for saying hi.

As if it were a punishment from the universe, you realized that you had stained one of the sheets that you had used that night. Furthermore, your horrible cramps had returned. Thankfully Katara came to your rescue, helping you a little with the pain and offering to wash the tragic sheet.

Now, after all the events, you didn't quite know what you wanted to do. Sure, you wanted to apologize to Toph, but you were afraid of what to do if your mood changed again.  Your body was limp, your breasts were swollen and your back hurt a lot. Everything told you not to get up. So, that's what you did.

You were almost asleep again when you felt someone entering the tent. Thinking it was Toph, you automatically sat down and started to apologize.

"I know that nothing I say will change what I did, but I really-" You stopped talking when you noticed it wasn't your best friend that was in front of you, it was the guy that you liked. "Zuko?"

"Sorry for entering without asking." He said with an apologetic look. "Can I stay here?"

"I would love you to stay but... " You really wanted his presence there, but you were afraid to be rude to him too. And he was the last person you wanted to make a bad impression on. " I'm not very well today."

"I know."

"You... know?" You asked in a slightly nervous way, but you tried to disguise it.

"Yeah." He rubbed the back of his neck, looking as nervous as you were. "But I don't mind."

You seemed to be even more nervous than before. Being alone with him always made you unquiet, but imagining that he might know about your period made you want to bury your face in the ground and disappear. You knew it was normal to menstruate and it was stupid to perpetuate the idea that guys shouldn't know when you were or weren't on your period, but the thought of talking about it with him scared you.

You tried to say a few things, but the words died in your throat. The fear that the guy you liked so much thought you were disgusting made you so apprehensive that you didn't even know what to say.

He noticed your apprehension almost immediately.

"I-I bought you something!" Zuko started looking for something inside a small bag he had with him and it was the first time that you had noticed its existence.

When the prince finally found what you were looking for, you realized it was a very poorly wrapped up packet.

"You didn't need to-"

"It's chocolate. Katara said it could help." He handed the packet to you without looking you in the eye.

As you started to open it, you saw different bars of chocolate. One of white chocolate, one of dark chocolate, one with chestnuts and one with an extremely reddish color. Some of them were a little broken and melted, but most of them were fine.

"I didn't know which flavor you like the most, so I bought one of each." You felt your ears burn just by imagining him buying all that for you.

"Where did you-"

"I borrowed Appa to go to the nearest market." He answered. "But they ended up getting kind of..." You tried not to laugh at his frustrated face.

Your shame was gradually going away. He didn't think you were disgusting because you were on your period. In fact, he was worried to the point of taking a mini trip and buying sweets for you. And he even tried to wrap them up, though he clearly failed. Imagining him doing all that for you made your heart warmer to the point of making you cry. Your mood change was taking the best out of you again.

Zuko's eyes widened as soon as he noticed your tears.

"I-I'm sorry! I-" He started to get up. "I'll leave you alone!''

You quickly held him by the wrist while letting out a laugh. Your tears salted your mouth as you giggled, but you didn't care. Meanwhile, Zuko was staring at you with an extremely confused expression.

"I'm happy, you dork."

"But why are you crying?" He looked so worried that you almost felt guilty for laughing at him.

"Period things. I'm fine, really." You said while whipping your tears away. "Now sit here with me. I'm curious about this red one."

Zuko sighed with relief and sat next to you with his legs crossed. You stopped holding his wrist, being surprised at how brave you were to do something like this. You were the kind of person who got embarrassed just by touching him in the shoulder. Even when training with him, you would get disconcerted by the smallest things.

"It's a Fire Nation traditional chocolate." He broke a piece of the chocolate and offered it to you. "I thought you might want to try it."

You took the bizarrely red piece from his hand and tried not to sweat.

"I hope this isn't too spicy." But when you ate the piece, your fear came true. "ZUKO!"

"WHAT!" He practically jumped.

"WATER!" You screamed as you felt your tongue burning.

The prince started turning over all the sheets until he finally found a canteen lost in a corner of the tent. You didn't even wait for him to deliver it to you. You took the canteen from his hands and drank the water until you felt the burning sensation cease.

When you finally managed to stabilize your breathing after drinking so much water, you faced him. Zuko was sweating bullets.

"Are you feeling better?" He asked worriedly.

"It was an outstanding experience." You replied with a grin. "But I prefer not to try it again."

"Yeah, I won't buy this one for you the next time."

"Next time?" You couldn't ignore his statement. What did he mean by next time?

"Ah..."

Zuko started to blush again. Every time he started talking about things he had done for you or how he wanted to be with you, his face turned red, almost like a tomato. However, you couldn't hear his answer since your cramps have returned, making you lean forward and hold your belly.

"Hey, are you-"

"Cramps. Awful ones." You replied, still holding your belly. Your cramps were rougher than usual, so you laid down. "Sorry for ruining the mood."

"Don't apologize. It's not your fault. "

You were unable to agree or disagree with him. Your pain was so intense that you couldn't focus on anything. The guy of your dreams was on your side and you couldn't even look at him.

Suddenly, you felt something hot thing land on your belly. It was hot, but not enough to hurt you. It was cozy and made your pain lower little by little. You only came to understand what it was when the heat moved and you recognized the shape of a hand, a male hand.

"Katara said that heat can help with the pain." Zuko said as he slid his hand over your belly. "Do you feel better?"

"Yes." A pleased expression appeared in your face. "It feels nice."

"Good. I've never done this before." He stated.

"What about Mai?" You asked curiously, trying to not sound jealous. He was being so supportive that you couldn't help but imagine him trying to please his ex-girlfriend in every single way.

"Mai hardly commented on how she felt. Even when she was more... Er... Sensitive- "Zuko cleared his throat. "She was no different. It's not like I never wanted to help, but she never allowed me to be close enough.

"I see." You imagined him trying to get closer and Mai pushing him away. You felt sad for him. "Well, I feel happy for being the first one." Shyly, you put your hand over his. "I'll give you a lot of work to make up for it."

A smile lit up his face. His smile was the most beautiful thing in the world, and it was becoming more common as he spent more time with you and the rest of the Gaang.

"Am I supposed to be afraid?" He replied provocatively.

"Women in their period can be the most dangerous thing, you know."

"Yeah, Sokka said so."

"Sokka what?"

Taglist: @bucky-blogs @dekahg @eridanuswave @the-firebender-girl

People who were interested but I don’t if I could tag them: @unfortunateshelby @little-wankenobi @theblueslytherin @creepytoes88​ @http-peter-parker​

I don’t think this was my best work since I don’t feel really secure with portraying Zuko as a boyfriend yet. I’m not really sure about how he expresses love since he had so many problematic relationships and I don’t think he would be the perfect guy who would know everything about dating and stuff. I also don’t think he would say his feelings out loud. He looks more practical to me but not too practical. To me, he’s probably shy with this stuff. 

Please, give me feedback if I portraited him well as a boyfriend even if he wasn’t your boyfriend in this imagine.

English isn’t my native language so it might have mistakes.

I needed to write this since my period is still killing me.

[hot-wiings]

The One Where Despite The Sports Festival, Shouto Todoroki Hates Using His Quirk, But [Y/N] [L/N] Enjoys It.

Edited: 12-2-2020

"It's so fucking cold."

The words came out rushed and loud as you clattered your teeth together. Your arms rubbed up and down over your thin school jacket as you cursed at your teacher in your head. You were supposed to be indoors, doing this school activity inside of the warm enclosed walls of Gym Gamma, instead, Shouta had your class outside, working on the P.E grounds due to miscommunication and overlapping training schedules with class B.

"C'mere, you're warm, I'm cold, hug me."

You buried yourself into the warmer side of your boyfriend, Shouto Todoroki. He had his own personal built-in heating pad, it wasn't fair to let him keep it all to himself. After all, sharing is caring. A light blush spread across his face as he slung his left arm around your back and let his left hand rest on your arm. He pulled you against him, helping you create heat as he debated giving you his own jacket to put on.

"Mm. That's great."

Shouto let out a small smile and he moved his warm, left hand up and down your arm as you both watched Mina spar with Mineta. His hand came up and rolled over your shoulder and made soft contact with your ear and cheek.

"Talking about me or the fight?"

"Well I was talking about you, but I can't say I don't find pleasure in seeing Mineta get beat."

"I know he can be a jerk, but isn't she going a little extreme. I'm surprised he isn't unconscious."

You let out a small chuckle as Mina destroyed his balls with her acid and delivered yet another punch to his face. You had to admit, she was going a bit hardcore on him, and you were sure Mr. Aizawa could see that, but no one stopped her. You were sure she was going so extreme with him due to the stunt he tried pulling the week before, your blood boiled and you clenched your fists just thinking about it. You hadn't told Shouto about said stunt, choosing to keep it a secret between you and Mina.

"He deserves it! He's commenting on our bodies is one thing, but he crossed a line last week."

"What did he do now?"

Shouto knew the boy's schemes were horrendous, and he tried his best to put the pervert back in line when you asked him to or complained about it. It was his job as a boyfriend to make you feel secure, and he took pride in it. He wanted to be the opposite of his father, a significant other you could run to for help, and making you feel safe and protected from the antics of your lesser classmate was how he did that, but you and neglected to tell your boyfriend about how bad the boy was getting.

Shouto placed a chase kiss onto the top of your head as he ran his hand up and down, his fingers leaving warm soothing circles on your shoulder. You pulled your lip between your teeth, realizing you slipped up and mentioned it. You hadn't told your boyfriend about the stunt Mineta pulled because you were both embarrassed it even happened, and ashamed you couldn't defend yourself. Besides that fact, Shouto could get jealous and possessive. Whenever you mention Mineta was bothering you Shouto didn't give you a chance to ask for help, he just seemed to take care of it. Jealousy and possession was a natural human feeling, but you didn't want him trying to murder the boy for his severe actions.

"Uh, well, I mean it's not worth sharing that much. Just the usual nasty things he does."

"What did he do?"

Shouto ran his fingers over your rosy, cold cheeks. Trying to entice you to answer him by distracting you with warmth. It worked.

"He snuck into the girl's dorms to spy on us after hours! To make things worse, he tried watching me change. When I saw him, he used his damned balls to make me sticky. Stuck in my bra and panties, completely helpless and unable to move. You have no idea how humiliated and disgusting I felt!"

"I would've made him apologize. Why didn't you tell me?"

Shoutos grip on your arm loosened but you could still feel the heat just radiating off of his body. He was upset that you didn't tell him, you knew that, but for all the wrong reasons. What you assumed was jealousy, in reality, was fear. The thought that you didn't need or want him to defend you. He took joy in it, he took joy in protecting you. What he so proudly took pride in, was swept away by Mina.

Mina had finally knocked Mineta out and walked past you and Shouto with a shit-eating grin on her face. She shot a thumbs-up signal in your direction as she went to the infirmary to retrieve Recovery Girl for Mineta. Nonverbal communication that she had avenged your dignity, but to Shouto it was just a slap in his face. Why hadn't you immediately told him? He would've knocked Mineta down a peg or two. He would've humbled him down and made him apologize. He should have been the one to redeem your dignity and redeem your image. He should've been the one defending your honor, but you hadn't even told him about it.

Did you not trust him? Was he not good at making you feel secure?

"Todoroki vs. Bakugo."

The anger and frustration was already taking over Shouto as he broke away from you and walked toward the center of the training grounds to meet Katsuki. The feral boy wasted no time in blasting Shouto, trying to anger him resulting in him using his flames unlike he had in the sports festival.

"Die!"

Shouto rebutted Katsuki's blast by hitting him with ice. Aggravated and aggressive, Katsuki sent boom after boom, blast after blast while he growled out phrases to work Shouto up and bring out his flames.

"Won't use your flames? Pathetic. I honestly wonder why [Y/N] is with you, my explosions always got her going."

"Leave her name out of your mouth."

Emotions consumed him once your name left Katsuki lips. He was angry that you didn't trust him enough to tell him about how his classmate tried to defile your image. Sad that you hadn't gone to him for comfort and redemption but Mina instead. All his emotions were thrust into his quirk as he sent Katsuki one hard blast of his flames. Blow after blow, eventually, Katsuki went down. He gripped his arm which now held a severe burn from a Shouto as he screamed out fuck you's.

As he cooled down, ex or not, Shouto couldn't help but regret his actions towards Katsuki. He saw the burns he left Katsuki with. He saw Katsuki gripping his arm as Recover Girl made her way over to him. He could see Katsuki resist help, trying to say it wasn't as bad as it was. He looked over at you, as you stared at him while you bit your lip, guilt flooded his entire being.

What if that had been you? What if he had lost his temper with you? If he was capable of snapping at Katsuki so quickly, what was he capable of with you?

Shouto made his way over to you and with quick hands, you grabbed onto him. You inspected him for injuries, worried he had been hurt too. Shouto hadn't been the only one to get blows in, but his injuries weren't physical. As your worried eyes met his, he felt disgusted with himself. He didn't understand how you were able to cling to such a monster like him. Katsuki's burns flashed in his head as Shouto pulled away from your grasp and ripped his jacket from his back.

He could hurt you. He was capable of hurting you.

"I'm fine. Here, take my jacket so you can be warmer."

"Oh, won't you need it? Quirks are just physical extensions of your body, I don't want you overexerting yourself."

"Don't worry about me. I'm going back to the dorms since my fights over."

His voice came out rushed, his tone cold, harsh and you frowned. Before he even heard your reply, Shouto turned on his heel and walked off to class 1-A's dorm rooms. He hadn't meant to be so cold with you. He didn't want to be harsh with you. Anyone, but you. He didn't want to, but he couldn't stand to be there with you. He couldn't stand there and let you take advantage of his quirk. He couldn't stand there and heat you knowing how he could hurt you. After what he did to Katsuki, you should have been disgusted with him.

He was a monster, he wasn't worthy of you.

"Who's next on the list?"

The snow fell around you, wetting your hair and getting your clothes damp as you pulled your hands out of your pockets and opened your phone with stiff cold fingers to look at the Christmas list you both together made weeks prior. Shouto wanted to reach across the small gap between you. He wanted to reach over and push your hair behind your ear. He wanted to reach out and pull your frozen hand into his warm one, but he wouldn't. He couldn't, he was already pushing the limit by being here as it was.

He was distancing himself, pulling away, and hoping you would receive the subtle hints he was dropping your way. The hints that he wanted to break up, to no longer see you, to no longer be yours. It wasn't that this is what he wanted, it's what he felt needed to be done. Shouto didn't want to hurt you by breaking up. He didn't want to be away from you. To him, you were his whole world, one of his motivations to become a hero. The more he thought about it, the more he realized how much safer you'd be off without him. How much safer, how much better you'd be without a monster like him.

He hoped the list was almost over with, he wasn't sure he'd be able to handle another minute with you. He knew he couldn't handle breaking your heart himself, so ingeniously he found a solution: Be detached until you break up with him instead. He was supposed to distance himself, but all he wanted to do was pull you in his arms. He knew he should've stayed at the dorms, stayed in the confines of his dorm room, neglecting you under the pretense of studying. However, when you came to him asking if he still wanted to go Christmas shopping together like you both originally planned to, he couldn't say no. The way you looked at him, a broken hopeful expression that he would say yes. Hopeful that he'd want to spend time with you despite him pushing you away. It broke his stoic reserve.

"We still need a guitar for Kyouka, a bag for Ochako, and something for Momo, she's kinda hard to shop for because she already has everything, but I saw her eyeing a necklace last month. I bet we could even find Ochako a bag in the same store."

He was practically ecstatic to hear you only had three more people to shop for, two of which could be hit in the same store. The quicker this was over the better. You placed your phone back in your pocket and reached out for Shouto's hand. The gap was closed between you both as you tugged him along the sidewalk with you towards the store you needed. Shouto smiled. He briefly smiled and relished in the feeling of your hand in his, but it was short-lived as he pulled his hand out of yours and stuffed it in his pocket.

He knew there must have been a hurt expression on your face, but he had to take a moment to remind himself. He had to remind himself why he was distancing himself from you. It was for you. You didn't deserve to be with a monster like him. You didn't deserve it, all you needed was a push in the right direction.

As you walked beside Shouto into the Lois Vuitton outlet store your heart felt heavy but you tried your best to push through the pain. You couldn't pretend that there wasn't anything wrong with your relationship. You couldn't pretend that your boyfriend hadn't been distant, hadn't been cold and closed off. He used to be so sweet, sweet, and present. He would walk you to your dorm after class, take you for walks, hold your hand, and more often than not, take you out on impromptu dates. He didn't do that anymore. He was cold and absent. He rarely talked to you and he put little to no effort into being with you. Even when you tried putting all the effort, you could see him pulling away. As he pulled away more and more, you had to wonder if he even wanted to be around you.

You had a whirlwind of thoughts on why he was being so distant, why he no longer wanted you. You just wanted all the worries and thoughts to go away. You wanted the negative reasons you'd come up with every night as you laid in bed to be gone. You wanted things to go back to normal because, despite all of this, you were holding out hope that things would go back to normal. Hope that perhaps he would begin to come around again.

You walked through Louis Vuitton with Shouto hot on your trail as you went to the jewelry display. Shouto quickly grasped the right necklace in his hands, the expensive a thousand dollar golden lipstick holder necklace. He turned to you with a determined smile.

"This is the one right?"

Suddenly, that dark cloud of thoughts came out again. The one that rained on you when you were at your most hopeful. The one that said he didn't love you, but most likely fell for another. The one that gave you the most probable answer.

"How'd you know that was the one she wanted?"

"I was with you both when you saw it."

It was a logistic explanation, but the simple sentence placed the seed of doubt into your head. Doubt that slowly diminished your hope. Despite the awfully, distrustful feeling it left you with, you chose to give Shouto the benefit of the doubt as you made your way over the bag selection.

"So, everyone's making plans for Christmas, and I was wondering if we were going to spend it together."

"I haven't really thought about my Christmas plans yet."

"We don't have to if you don't want to, figured I'd ask."

You kept your face away from Shouto and buried in the bag rack. You didn't want him to see the expression on your face. You didn't want him to see the remnants of all the hope you had left in this relationship. There was a right answer, the right answer you hoped he'd say, but that seed of doubt knew he wasn't going to say it.

"I was gonna go home for Christmas. Figured we both could use time with our families."

A single stray tear made its way down your cheek as his sentences tumbled out. All the hope you had left in your body crumpled as his words resounded in your ears. You hadn't spent a Christmas apart since the start of your three-year relationship. He knew you didn't have the best family. He knew you hated your father just as much as he hated his father. You both made it your tradition to be together for the holidays. You asking about it wasn't supposed to be a question, but reassurance he wasn't going to leave you alone. It was reassuring you he still cared, but all it did was water the seed.

"You want to go home for Christmas? I thought you hated being home over the holidays."

"Some things change, [Y/N]. You don't have a problem with it, do you?"

Of course you did. He was abandoning you. He was leaving you over Christmas for his bastard father he hated. The seed of doubt was beginning to blossom and you were looking for ways to uproot it. You had one vice left to try. His jealousy. If he so much as still loved or even liked you as a girlfriend, then just bringing up you and another boy alone would bring out the beast. No matter how innocent it would be, whether it be walking in the halls, or studying, Shouto could get possessive of you, and while you hated the idea of playing into his emotions like this, it was necessary.

"Of course not! Denki invited me to go on a trip over holiday break anyway. The guy he interns for owns a mansion up north, perfect for skiing. You don't have a problem with that, do you?"

"No, I hope you have fun."

You scanned Shouto's face for any indication that you going up north with Denki alone bothered him, but stoic as ever he was unbothered. A last resort really, but you pulled out a card you never wanted to.

"You're sure? Katsuki is going to be there, and I don't want to make you uncomfortable by hanging out with my ex for a week and a half."

"[Y/N], I don't care. Go ahead, you know not to do something you'd regret."

If Shouto really cared for you he would have said yes. He would've said he had a problem with his girlfriend going on a trip with her ex-boyfriend. You thrust the bag into Shouto's arms and avoided his eyes, scared you would let the tears flow out in front of him.

"Um, can you go pay? I need to use the bathroom."

Shouto tried not to look over at you on the couch. He wanted to scoot closer to you, he wanted to pull your body against his. He wanted to see the little face you made when his warmth took over your freezing skin, he wanted you to fall asleep on him. He wanted to be close to you again, he wanted things to go back to how they used to be. They couldn't go back, it wasn't that simple. He could never revert back into your loving boyfriend, he couldn't allow himself to be yours. 

As the weeks from that day in the outlet mall progressed, Shouto could feel his resolve diminish. Despite the distance you still tried to connect and be around him, he was still your boyfriend no matter how cold of a front he put up. It hurt to have you trying to cling to him but he kept pushing you away. It hurt to have you offer date opportunities only for him to turn them down. What hurt Shouto the most was letting you go on that trip with Katsuki. He wanted to tell you not to go on that trip, he wanted to tell you to stay at the dorms with him. With every passing day you talked with Katsuki more and more, it pained Shouto to act like he was fine and chill with it.  

Shouto didn't know this was a ploy to make him jealous to try and incite any lingering feelings for you. He didn't know that you weren't even planning to go on the trip with Katsuki but actually planned to stay at the dorms once he left for his own family home for the holidays. You chatted up katsuki more often and even went as far as to ask Shouto for advice on a bathing suit to both bring forth feelings from him and make your lie more convincing. It wasn't as though Shouto wasn't jealous, it wasn't as though he stopped caring for you and who you hung out with. The idea of you in a bikini with Katsuki grated him. The two of you in a hot tub, escaping the dreaded cold rubbed him the wrong way, but he needed to let it happen, he needed to push you away into the arms of someone more worthy, into the arms of another.  

"When are you leaving for your trip?"

Shouto hadn't even turned to look at you as he spoke out the question. He hadn't looked and maybe had he, he would've seen how broken you looked, he would've seen your disheveled appearance and his resolve would've broken for sure. With your legs pulled up on the couch and your head resting on your knees, a frown on your face as you stole sneaky little glances at your boyfriend when he wasn't looking. He never looked at you anymore, just another indication of where your relationship was headed. 

"Katsuki and I are meeting at the airport in a couple of hours, he said the ticket was paid for by his internship boss, but I think he's really paying for it."

Shouto didn't look at you, and it hurt. What guy didn't get upset, or weird at the very least, at the idea of his girlfriend going on a trip with her ex-boyfriend? Beyond that, the proposed idea that his girlfriend is getting a plane ticket paid for by said ex-boyfriend should upset him. You snagged your lip between your teeth as your grip on your legs tightened. 

"When are you going home?" 

"Tonight."

You nodded your head and made a mental note to leave until he left to make it seem you went on the trip. You didn't want him knowing that you planned to stay in the dorms alone over Christmas, but those were his exact plans. He hadn't spent a Christmas apart from you since the beginning of this relationship, and he just wanted to wallow in self-pity over having pushed you away successfully. 

"Do you want to exchange gifts before we leave?"

"I didn't think we were getting each other gifts since we're not seeing each other on Christmas."

You let out a sigh as you tried to keep the tears down. You were so hopeful, you were holding out for him but you couldn't anymore. You got him a gift, hoping that Christmas would bring out the best in him and make him open up. You thought that the day would roll around and everything would be fixed by the magic of Christmas. He hadn't even gotten you a gift, yet he knew what neckless Momo wanted. You couldn't do it anymore, you couldn't pretend things would get better. You couldn't pretend he still loved you.

"What did I do wrong? I'm sorry, I can fix it. I'm sorry, I'll fix it."

The tears began leaking out and running down your cheeks in warm streaks. You tried to keep your little sniffles quiet by pressing your hand over your mouth and nose. You didn't want him to see you cry, you didn't want him to hear your tears, but he did. Shouto looked over at you with knitted eyebrows before looking back at the fireplace. He wanted to comfort you, he wanted to hold you and reassure you that it was okay, but he needed to push you away. 

"I'm drowning, I'm drowning Shouto. I don't understand what I did to make us like this. Am I too clingy, do I suffocate you? I'll give you space, I can give you more space!"

Shouto clenched his fists as your words tumbled out in frantic sentences but he stayed silent. He did so well, he's done so well at pushing you away. He had to keep his resolve up, he had to push away. You didn't deserve him, you didn't deserve to be with such a monster. 

"When Katsuki broke up with me he said it was cause' I'm weak. Is that it, am I too weak for you? I'll train harder. I'll be a hero you can be proud of."

Shouto kept his face away from yours, silently and still staring at the fire. He knew if he looked at you then he would break. If he looked at you he would crawl into your arms and whisper reassuring words on how Katsuki is an ass, reassuring words on how strong you were. He wanted to tell you that you always made him proud, but he didn't let himself. The more he continued being silent, the more it hurt you. More tears flowed from your eyes as you spoke out the sentence you so solemnly tried to quell. The thought you so desperately had been trying to put out like a wild fire. 

"Deep down I know the truth, you want her, don't you? Momo? God, how stupid I must look, my boyfriend and my best friend right under my nose."

You pressed your hand to your mouth to muffle a strangled sob as you wiped away your tears with the back of your hand, futile as more quickly replaced them. Shouto looked over at you, a few tears dripping down from his own eyes. That's what you thought? That he was cheating? Shouto wasn't sure if he should feel insulted for you thinking so low of him, but then again, had the roles been reversed with you pushing him away, he would think the same.

"I... I just want you to know I don't blame you Shouto. She can suit your needs so well. She's smarter, rich, and god, she's so much prettier. I- I'm sorry I wasn't enough for you, I'm sorry I couldn't satisfy you. I'm sorry I wasted your ti"- 

"Don't say that, don't, just don't. Don't compare yourself to her. I don't want Momo, I haven't wanted anyone except for you."

"Then why don't you want me? You don't touch me anymore, you don't even look at me. I don't understand what I did."

"You didn't do anything! You did nothing, it's me! I'm the problem, I'm the issue."

Shouto stood up abruptly, pacing back and forth he ran his hand through his hair roughly. He should've kept his resolve, he should've stayed solid, but hearing the quiver in your voice, hearing your thoughts, your deeply negative thoughts broke him so.

"You are so perfect, [Y/N]. I love when you cling to me, you're so strong, you're beautiful and perfect, and fuck! The only reason I remembered Momo's necklace was because it was right next to the earrings I bought for you."

You stood up and wrapped your arms around Shouto. You buried your face in his chest as he let his tears fall. He should push you away, he should make distance from you, but he couldn't. He couldn't, instead, he wrapped his arms around you and let out his own sob into your hair as he held you close for the first time in days.

"I'm such a monster [Y/N]. I'm such a monster, I'm just like my dad. You saw how I burned Katsuki. You shouldn't be with me, I might hurt you."

You pulled out of Shouto's arms to cup his face. There was a frown on your face, leaving him with an unsettling feeling in his gut that you agreed. It was quite the opposite.

"Shouto, you would never hurt me. I don't know where you got that idea, but I know you would never. You are sweet, caring, and possibly the best boyfriend to ever exist. You are not your father, you are Shouto Todorki, my boyfriend."

"I've hurt you so much these past few weeks. I've ignored you, and I've been cold, why are you still here."

"You pushed me away because you thought it was good for me. Granted that wasn't your choice to make, I'm still here because I love you, and you love me, the rest is pudding."

You pressed your lips against Shoutos, they felt warm and rough, you hadn't felt them in so long, how you missed them so. You pressed into the kiss, with him pulling you closer, want and need dripping between you both as your wandering hands pulled and tugged each other.

"Tell me what's going on instead of pushing me away next time. I'm not letting you go, no matter how hard you push me away. I'm here to stay."

"I will, I promise. I love you, [Y/N], so much. I need you in my life. I've been an awful ass, and I know I'm in no place to make requests, but please don't go with Katsuki."

"I never planned to, I turned him down when he first asked. I wanted to spend Christmas with you, Sho. We're always together for the holidays, we have our own traditions, and spending it with anyone else isn't right."

"I wasn't gonna go home either, was gonna stay here. What a pair of liars we are, c'mon, I think we can still salvage this Christmas Eve."

Shouto kissed your hand and tugged you towards the kitchen. With your hands enveloped in each other, all was right. It was right, being with you was right. Maybe he was a monster, maybe he was temperamental, but that was something he was willing to work on to be with you.

[mikkomacko]

The Fighter 5

Harry tried with all his heart to get me to sleep. He requested warm milk, he hummed a random song, he buried his fingers in the roots of my hair and stroked through the strands in hopes that it would do anything to help. But I was still restless, falling asleep long enough to dream of Theo dying in some gruesome fight with Trina, before flinching awake to be met with Harry's worried, tired eyes.

"You don't have to worry," Harry murmured, dragging the pads of his fingers down my cheek and over my jawline. "you know I'll do everything to get you what you need." His lips touched between my eyebrows, soft as a feather. "You'll be safe."

I didn't tell him that I wasn't worried about myself or that I was dreaming of Theo. I didn't tell him that every time his fingers touched me I felt sick, constantly thinking that this is the first and only night I'd get him like this. I closed my eyes again, relaxing into the same cycle that took place until the sun broke the horizon.

~

Breakfast was quieter than usual. Arlia didn't attend, and I didn't ask where she was. I'd rather spend my last real breakfast with just Harry and Theo. Theo didn't eat much, not that I blamed him. My stomach felt like it was full of piles of rocks, so heavy that the platforms wouldn't even be able to lift me into arena. It was wishful thinking of course. Harry made Theo and I eat two slices of toast each, and drink at least one glass of water.

"No hot cocoa today," he had told me, pushing my glass towards me with a sorry smile. "need you hydrated."

Then he spoke. A lot. He talked about different weather conditions and environments. He told us if we could find water, we need to stay close to it. Most of the time, there's fish in there, and we know how to catch fish. He warned us about fires and their smoke and when to light them. Theo didn't look like he could really handle listening to Harry at that moment, so I listened for the both of us.

"We can do this Theo," I told him, when I noticed he was losing color in his face and his eyes were welling up. "we're going to get in the arena, and you're going to stay on your platform no matter what." I made sure he was looking at me before continuing. "I'll come get you. You only move if someone's coming towards you, okay?"

He nodded, his whole face wobbling as he held back tears. "What if something happens to you why you're trying to get to me? What do I do?"

"The only way I won't get to you is if I'm dead, and that's not going to happen." I swore firmly. There's absolutely no way I'm going to die knowing Theo's still in danger. "I promise, I'll get to you."

"B-but what if-"

"You're smart Theo," I reached over to wipe the water on his cheeks. "you'll know what to do. We've been surviving our whole lives."

He had nodded, despite the fear swimming around in his crystal eyes, and we fell into silence until Harry told us we had to go. We moved towards the elevator, Harry stopping me before I got too far. His thin fingers circled my wrists, and his tired eyes looked into mine with longing.

"I'll do what I can to take care of you two," Harry murmured, "whatever it takes." I nodded, lump in my throat. If there's one thing I've learned about Harry, it's that he can't lie. He'd rather move around the truth than actually lie, so I knew his word was good.

"I'm going to do this Harry," I swore, my words becoming muffled when he pulled me into his chest for a hug. "It'll either be Theo or me, I promise."

I don't know what made me say that it might be me coming home because I will make sure it's Theo. Maybe I felt like Harry needed to hear it, to know that I hear him.

"I know," Harry mumbled in my ear, pressing a kiss to my temple.

~

"Do they feel okay?"

Julius brushed his hands over my shoulders, straightening out the thick winter coat he'd just zipped up. I nodded, rolling my shoulders and shaking my legs to make sure nothing about my outfit feels wrong.

"It's going to be cold there." He told me, as if I couldn't already tell my the clothes he layered me in. I still nodded, unable to find anything to say. It's as if Harry kept my voice, stuffed in one of his pockets to make sure my words stay with him.

Julius was just finishing up braiding my hair when a buzz rang out, signaling that it's time for me to enter my platform. We don't say anything, I suppose he's realized I'm unable to, and I zip my coat up to my chin, stepping onto the platform. Julius stares at me, nodding firmly just once, and then the pedestal begins to rise. The tube grows dark, and the air cold. So cold it stings my face and ears, and my eyes begin to water. The first break of light doesn't hurt considering I'm already squinting from the winter breeze. Once I'm able to see clearly, I take in the arena.

A silver cornucopia sits in the center of the 24 tributes, large chunks of ice and swirls of frost hanging off of it. The area around us is nothing but snow and ice, a forest trapped in a winter wonderland. A screen above the cornucopia displays the countdown: 25 seconds. I quickly look around the weapons laid out, cursing when I realize the spears and larger weapons are further in, making it harder to get out. If I want Theo and I to survive, I have to get one. Backpacks are laid out in the grass, one sitting about three feet in front of me. I'll grab it on my way to the cornucopia.

12 seconds.

Looking around the tributes, I ignore their frightened gazes until I see a familiar pair of blue eyes staring right at me, frozen like a deer. Theo's trembling, cheeks already red in the cold. I give him a reassuring nod, readying myself to run as the final seconds tick down.

A gong ring outs, and I leap forward. My winter boots are heavy, but after years of swimming and ice fishing, I'm prepared to run on ice. Bodies blur by me, the arena empty of noise as I haul up the backpack and sprint to the cornucopia. Adrenaline or luck, I'm not sure, but I'm thankful when I realize no one's reached the weapons yet. I throw the backpack over my shoulders, diving forward to grip the sleek silver spear. I can hear rushed footsteps getting closer, and I steady myself on the side of the metal tube, turning just as the person gets within range. I don't even distinguish which tribute it is before I ram the butt of the spear into their head, knocking them unconscious.

It's Marlin, I realize, just as a screech rings out. I look up to see Trina slipping on ice as she hauls herself towards us. I have no doubt that she sees the blood dripping from her partners temple.

I jump back to action, stepping over him and grabbing the trident resting on the wall. Theo needs a weapon too. I duck around an incoming tribute, somehow managing to get by with only a tug on my sleeve. I notice all the careers are skidding around on the frosty ground. They must not have prepared for this kind of weather.

Theo is huddled down on his platform still, hugging his knees and looking around with wild eyes. His lock on me, and he launches forward too, meeting me halfway. I breathe out a sigh of relief when I realize he's okay and he somehow got a backpack too.

"Come on, we have to go!" I yell, flinching as the fighting screams of the Careers ring out behind us. They've armed themselves, and they're already killing. Theo takes the trident from me, following me into the line of forest trees. The further in we step the more the snow lessens, turning into the frozen ground. I thank whatever good karma's been waiting for me, thankful that I won't have to worry about tracks, and we run. The cold air burns my hands and face and I can feel my legs getting tired but I keep going. The fog from my breath gets too thick so I reach up and hold my hand over my face. I don't know how long we run for, but it's easier to move on this flooring rather than the ice so we go as far as possible.

"I can't-b-breathe." Theo stutters, my own throat and chest stinging painfully so I know it's time to stop. I slow down to a walk, tucking my chin into the collar of my jacket. We need to find water, or a safe place to hide so we can go through our bags and figure out what we need.

"We need a tree or something to hide out in for now." I mutter, teeth chattering. Theo nods, his own chin wobbling in the cold. It's hard to see anything through the thick trees, but the rocky edge of a mountainside peeks through. It's not too far away, and it'll provide some protection from the wind.

"Let's get closer to the mountain, yeah?" Theo follows my line of sight, nodding again. I adjust my grip on my spear, fingers aching and tight from being exposed. Theo and I continue walking, and I keep my eyes and ears perked for any sign of oncoming trouble. Maybe his fingers are cold too, or maybe he's frightened. Whatever it is, I don't question when Theo slips his empty hand into mine. Instead I welcome the warmth of having him with me, even if I wish he were a thousand miles from here, safe and sound.

~

Theo is the first to climb, my back to the tree trunk with our weapons while he pulls himself up the tree as high as he can. The sky is starting to darken, meaning the bloodbath at the cornucopia is dying down. I wonder how many died, which districts they were from. I wonder if somehow Marlin found his way to his feet and managed to slaughter with his fellow butchers. The thought makes me queasy so I push it away.

"I found a good spot!" Theo calls down, and I look up to see him peaking down from a rather large branch. It forks out at a comfortable angle, and luckily another branch for me is close by. I hand his trident up to him, still paying attention to the area around me. There's been no sign of anyone around us, but I refuse to let my guard down.

Theo takes his weapon, and mine, leaving me with free hands to climb the tree. I hurry, staying close to the trunk and ignoring the way the bark scratches my palms and makes them burn even more. I settle on the branch next to Theo, the small gap between them but being big enough for either of us to fall through, so we huddle close together to stay warm. Theo's tucked our weapons under his legs so they don't fall, bag on his lap. I do the same.

"I think my fingers are too frozen to open the zipper." He chuckles lightly, body shaking against mine.

"Tuck 'em into your sleeves." I say, fumbling with my zipper to pull it open. The first thing to bulge out is made of thick, heat reflecting fabric and I realize it's a sleeping bag. "Nice," I nod, carefully unrolling it and throwing it over Theo's legs. He wiggles closer to me, clutching the bag tighter against him.

"Thanks Athena."

I nod, continuing my search through the bag. Hopefully there's another one in the other back pack. The next is an empty water bottle with a small pack of water treatment in it. I huff, wishing it was already filled with water, but the Capitol is never that kind.

"Oh thank God." I grin, finding a pair of winter gloves. I clutch them tightly, rubbing my fingers of the waterproof exterior. "Put these on." I instruct, hanging them to Theo. He doesn't hesitate to slip them over his small hands.

The rest of the contents are dried beef and fruit, a long rope, and a pack of matches. Not bad for one backpack, and I can't help but be thankful that Theo managed to grab one too.

Once Theo's tucked in nice and warm, trident now safely in his bag next to him, I empty his bag. We've got the same stuff, so I settle in the same way he does. Sleeping bag up to my chest, spear next to me, gloves on. I'm settling the bag behind me as a backrest when Theo speaks up.

"There's never been an arena like this." His voice is quite and trembling, and I hope it's more from the cold rather than fear. He's safe with me, but I'd prefer he'd be able to hide his emotions. Never let anyone see your weaknesses.

"No there hasn't," I respond after thinking back on all the Games I've seen. Forest and mountains are typical, but frozen ones aren't. The last Games where the temperature was low lasted too long and got boring. Most of the tributes froze to death, and many Capitol residents were upset with the lack of blood shed and gore. "but that means everyone's at a disadvantage. Not just us."

"What do you mean?"

"No ones prepared for an arena like this. Did you see all the tributes that couldn't even move on the ice? We're all out of our element, meaning..."

Theo smiles, relieved. "We've got a level playing field."

I nod proudly, throwing an arm over him and pulling him to my chest. He happily cuddles up next to me, sighing pleasantly at the added warmth. "Exactly."

~

The temperature dropped with the sun, leaving Theo and I wrapped even tighter around each other. The only relief that came with nightfall was the absence of the wind. Theo's quietly eating a strip of beef, head against my shoulder when the Capitol anthem plays throughout the arena. He sits up straight at that, both of us looking to the sky.

The canons went off a couple hours ago, 14 of them, meaning 14 of the tributes have already been murdered. There's only 10 left, including Theo and I. I hate to think it, but I can't help but feel further at ease knowing I've only got 8 tributes to outlive to make sure Theo gets home.

Finally, the Capitol seal comes up in the clouds, displaying the fallen tributes. I can't help but chuckle lowly at that. I never realized how ironic it is that we're called the fallen. As if we were angels, torn from heaven to be murdered.

I don't any faces of the tributes displayed in the sky, nor there names. All the ones that are a threat, mainly the Careers, are still alive. The tiny bit of ease I just managed to muster up disappears. The real threats are still alive, and most likely hunting.

The sky returns to darkness, and Theo falls back into my chest. It doesn't take him long to fall asleep and I'm thankful. He needs rest, we both do, but for now I can keep watch. I don't think I'd be able to sleep anyway. In the frigid night, breath leaving my lips in clouds, I think of Harry sat on out balcony in pajamas, our blanket tucked around his shoulders. The thought warms my body, so I keep it fresh in my mind all night. Not that it's hard. I don't think I'd be able to stop thinking about him if I tried.