#az☆re💬

[zur1s]

rewatching nana from the hours 1-3 am is not good for my health like this is a school night!!! but oh so is the life of me. honestly, while rewatching nana, i always get something new from it which is really interesting! i didn't realize i was that much of a hachi kinnie first time around watching or reading the series, but it only took some overthinking and revisiting to realize oh god this bitch is me! and now rewatching the series again i just come to realize how similar we really are... indecisive, immature, and so very hopeless. honestly, watching hachi get stuck in this conundrum between takumi and nobu again drove me insane—more so than last time. cause at first i still hadn't really thought really deeply about the series and honestly, i sorta watched parts of it like my eyes were closed, but now i've come to realize more things. i'm not really bringing much to the table with this but god nobu's idealization with hachi is seriously insane. at first, i think i never really saw it because i was also as blinded as nobu. idealizing hachi and not seeing her faults. when at the same time, even if takumi played into her naivety and was a manipulative bitch, hachi couldn't recognize that this relationship with him wasn't the understanding she wanted and that she was better than to settle for takumi. not to invalidate how takumi practically knew what he was doing (imo) and made it so hard for her to realize any of this. but, hachi isn't the horrible woman she thinks she is, but she also isn't the angel nobu sees her as either. watching him idealize her going on about how he can't believe what's happening with takumi was so exhausting and i swear my fondness towards nobu wanes every time i revisit the series (even if i've only finished nana like a month ago, fixation going strong!?). i don't even root for him and hachi because i don't think their relationship could ever go far past the "honeymoon phase". there's too much overpromising and idealization that even a hopeless teenager like me can see..!

i don't know man... this really is not an organized rant, but at least i've got some of my thoughts out. i have a lot more to say from my rewatch session (like, god, my thoughts about nana and ren keep spiraling and nanahachi off doing it again with painful communication skills. can't the bitches just get together and realize they're gay for one another? no? okay...) but i'll save it for another post. anyway, it's 4 am and i have school in like 2 hours so lord please what am i doing! but enough.... haha....

[zur1s]

writing anything about vagabond is genuinely so insanely tough because, vagabond is just so intimate with its character writing. more so, just the general handling of the whole story. each and every chapter is hand crafted with a care inoue adds in every brush stroke or text bubble. its simple yet intricate, every illustration⸺changing and shifting with the washing tides of vagabond's storyline. the art style is unmatchable, the arcs, beautifully gory just as they need to be. the ripple of a lake, the slash of the blade, a rare smile amongst the lonely woods. vagabond can be small and intimate, then explosive and physical. a blade can be something to admire, to compare to the mastery of a samurai⸺then stripped to an item to kill. vagabond is so simple, the chapters in the life of a man and the fight against death. there's something so supernatural the way musashi has avoided death for years, but each and every piece to his survival falls in so right. to become invincible under the sun, a statement that twists and turns as musashi evolves. it holds weight, but by the end it's simply a wish of a much more younger man. things change, and change, then comes the spell of regret. but the morning sun comes up and the world will never wait, so comes dawn on kokura.

vagabond is filled with spiritual themes and intense writing that is new as it is antique. inoue knows how to use his art to improve every plot point and he knows how to write a story as impactful as his art. it's no wonder vagabond has been on hiatus for nearly a decade. this tale of the samurai musashi miyamoto is dear, beautiful, intimate, thoughtful, deadly, visceral, but most importantly, breathtaking.

when writing my thoughts down about a series, i look at the media and take a grasp at the things it tries to say, to communicate, maybe. i take my soul and ask it what has this done? and how badly has it ruined me? but when writing about vagabond, i simply can't begin to start about the beauty in this story and how much it has left me with. when i try to recollect the chronicles of this lone ronin from miyamoto village, i get lost in thoughts and pieces of it that i can barely connect. i lose so easily to this legend, from a long far off land, many, many moons ago. every arc, chapter, and even page, holds more things to unpack and rethink. it's so hard to understand in full the epic that is vagabond, to make sense of the winding brush strokes that inoue places⸺as messy as the life of these dear children of twenty-eight years old. when shounen mainstays like jjk or kny have a collection of themes you can pick apart and savor, vagabond has a ballad unreadable but ever so beautiful. how i want to understand it.

[zur1s]

i am never recovering from ren honjo because just realizing the laundry list of things he had ahead of him, the things he needed and wanted to do, the promises he made, and the reasons he went on that fateful solo car ride in the first place. i feel like, on that cold night he had decided to take everything into his own hands, even if he already had so much on his plate. his addiction had spiraled into reira leaving and he had ignored everyone's pleas to fetch nana back, he was going to drive back to everything and try to fix it all. he was going to convince reira to come back, he got nana a present he supposedly cherished before leaving, that he kept especially safe in his car—he was going to be the first person to wish her happy birthday just as hachi had told him to and he was going to try again with nana. he had so many things planned for himself. he was going to have to get over his drug addiction without professional help and in his environment, he was going to protect and keep trapnest safe no matter what, he was going to rekindle his relationship with nana and hopefully marry her one day, he was going to meet hachi's baby that he helped name, he was going to play guitar again, he was going to be trapnest's ren honjo again—he was going to do so much. god, even in heavy snow, with his eyes playing tricks on him, and search right on his tail—ren still drove. it hurts knowing his circumstances and it hurts realizing every minute detail about his death. it hurts knowing even if he'd never decided to start his car's engine up it wouldn't even guarantee he'd live another week. that's just how tragic his death is, seeing it coming was clearer than a summer sky, but it felt like maybe that ever distant cloud could shield from this reality and paint a more muted hopeful one. i don't know, i guess i just really miss ren honjo already.... in less hopeless terms, ren's death messed me tf up and i'm still trying to recover from that shit.. but what was i really expecting going into nana?? well, girl love, that's what, but ren and as well his and nana's relationship ended up outshining nanahachi 4 me and this is me desperately trying to put how i feel into words.. originally i wrote this just for a friend but they encouraged me to start this blog, so here we are! ≧ᗜ≦ also first serious post !!! hi tumblr

[zur1s]

hi, i'm azure! ‧ she/her 14 indonesian

rb heavy & i post when i feel like it ۫ ׅ ✧

blogging about nana, myself i think, jjk, kny, & more ♡ also dni if you're a zionist/neutral, lolicon, interact with dark content, nsfw blog, or on here. i will block you!! please respect my boundaries and that i'm a minor

also2x i have two navigational tags, that are #az☆re💬 for more longer rants or writing (??) & #zur1 says hi for ask answers. just so these posts won't get drowned by reblogging and useless banter (๑'ᴗ')ゞ

𓏏𓏏 ⠀⁺ thank youuu !!