#avvy's snow white

[2n2n]

ugh im remembering Aida sensei describing that Rasphard's earring is the same shade of green as Lio's eyes ... remembering Lio describing Rasphard's amber eyes as having burned him... I won't survive if the Yugi twins have anything to say about each other's differing gazes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[2n2n]

I'M THINKNIG ABOUT IT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You're a mirror with two faces Two sides, simple as that When I look at my reflection Do I see myself?

Don't you run away, don't you run away, don't you run away

[7ban-sama]

oh the amount we were afraid of becoming Estelio-brained after playing narisokonai snow white. like amane just flat out went NO. i dont want that creep in here. kimochi warui. and while me and avvy were RPing ambrose twins stuff visciously for a week or w/e i literally wouldn't let her touch my dick much. so scared was i.

jokes on me though cuz Lio definitely jerked off about Ras before we were even RPing and also definitely received head recently. why do i even bother 💔

[akumanoken-archive]

@ara-memoriae replied to your post: Smash or pass AVELAN

AVVY’S A GOOD A BOY

See the cute innocent Snow White.  He could use a good boy... he’s too tied up on the knave of hearts.

[2n2n]

at last I can Look at This

[2n2n]

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE Q&A!!!!!!!!!! oh Rasphard, his pathetic and miserable swag.... I love knowing Iro wrote such a guy, and experienced such monumental thirst from the people.... thank you so much for translating!!!

[if you're reading this with no context for who Rasphard is or the significance of this Q&A, you can check out my reference post here. Narisokonai Snow White is an old visual novel game by AidaIro]

my favorite thing about this'n is Aida revealing the detail about his earring. I love the subtextual agenda.... it contributes so much for being such a small detail.

Q&A Rasphard edition

Let’s hope I can post this without getting kicked out this time.

Anyway, I’m working on translating the bonus Q&A sections that were on the official Narisokonai Snow White website, with this as the first installment. Please keep in mind that these were meant for players who have finished the game, so they are full of spoilers!

(If you notice any errors or iffy translations, please let me know so I can fix them!)

Questions and messages for the bumbling scholar-in-training

Messages of love

Ras, come be my bride. Creators, please give Ras to m-- (cut off)

Ras being flippant, Ras smirking with a :3 face... I keep talking about Ras, but he's so cute. I love him. He's so open with his feelings. And cute.

It's not fair how he sometimes acts like a puppy dog, it makes me want to pet him.

Augh, all I want is for you to be happy. Really... seriously... He's the character who left me stunned in the end!! I love him, he's so adorable!!

I love Ras!

I love you, Rasphard! Let's start with being friends!

(Note: As in, “so we can move on to being lovers.”)

He's suffered so much up until this point, I want him to be happy in the end.

I thought he was a cliched character at first, but as I went through the game, I gradually came to like him! I want the three of them to be together forever, lol.

Please be happy!

I want him to be happy with his little brother and the princess looking out for him.

I hope the day will come when Ras and Leo can smile and laugh with all their hearts!

Don't consider doing something sad like dying all alone.

I love Ras for being so adorable and incompetent. I want to hold his hand forever! squeezes I want him to be my bride.

He was a complete pitiful shut-in loser in the epilogue, but I hope he can find happiness with Neige and not lose out to Leo. *´ω｀)

Ras is incompetent to the point that that there's no hope for him and he was so refreshingly bad that it made me feel like tbh he's waaaay too much of a loser but it's the kind of incompetence that makes his flaws seem enchanting, so looking at him makes me want to bull--er, take good care of him. The little brother's harsh demeanor and the older brother's incompetence are extremely heartwarming.

For some reason, looking at Ras' smile just makes me think that I want him to smile more and be happy. I also love how he makes you feel like you can't leave him alone yet can't quite understand him, and how he's so down-to-earth.

I love Ras so much I can't stand it, when he comes to the castle and is walking on eggshells around Leo and his grandfather. Stop going on about belonging to someone else, be mine.

The way you can see his collarbones when he's wearing his regular clothes is sublime. I couldn't help noticing the zettai ryouiki (?) at his waist, too.

I think he should stop putting himself down and have a little more confidence, because he's wonderful.

I love you so much for the way you practiced making flower crowns because you wanted to make the princess happy!!! I love those slim hips, too!!!!!!

I love Ras!! He's such a pure, cute, bumbling, little puppy dog!! I want him to be able to happily laugh and talk with the princess... not to the point where Leo would murder him for it, though. Keep trying, lol.

Rasphard, pick me! Let's be friends so we can end up married someday!!

Ras: Whoa, this is incredible! Thanks for all the comments... I've never gotten this much attention from people before, so I was surprised!

Messages

Ras is exactly my type of loser. His fearfulness around Estelio brings out the sadist in me. I want to bully him mercilessly and then pat him on the head and tell him it's okay. Ras: I don't think I'm worth bullying. You probably wouldn't have any fun…

I'm being meddlesome, but I can't help thinking that Ras really should try to build some physical strength. Ras: … Leo: Don't look away.

At first I thought Ras was shallow (I'm swear I'm not making fun of him!), but he turned out to just be incompetent. (I swear I'm not ma-- (cut off)) That said, in the end he seemed like a thoughtful and knowledgeable person. Ras: Um… are you sure you're not making fun of me?

I thought that it would wrap things up nicely if the princess married both of them after ending 7. How would it actually work out? Ras: I, uh, wonder. I'm pretty sure there's no way it could happen. Nocsia: Is polygamy not allowed for royalty? Leo: (Forget that, there's an even more fundamental problem for us…)

Please stay a loser for the rest of your life. Can I bully you? Ras: What?! Uhh… I-I don't want that!

Ras, do your best and don't lose out to Estelio!

Ras, do your best and keep at it, but not so much your brother kills you. I'm on your side more than his! Ras: Thanks, though I don't think I could win… Or more like, I'm not sure I even want to win, myself. Neige: Oh, what are you talking about? Ras: Hmm, just saying that I can't do anything else when Leo's in the picture. Nothing you need to worry about.

A man shouldn't give up on his position as the older brother so easily! But I love you for being a loser at the same time! Ras: Yeah, that's right! I'll do my be… wait, what? Uh, I'm happy you like me, but I guess I'd better try not to be so pathetic…

Hang in there, Ras! It won't be long before you have Leo calling you "big brother"… probably!

I love you, Ras!! (lol) PS: I hope someday Leo will think of you as his older brother! Ras: Really? That makes me happy. I hope that I can become the kind of big brother he can rely on, but it might be difficult to pull off. Leo really has it together.

Drink a love potion for me!! (lol) Ras: Love potions… or rather aphrodisiacs, only have a temporary effect. You okay with that? Neige: That's not the problem. Ras: Hey, efficacy is important. Essentially, aphrodisiacs are things you only want to use on someone you're already in a relationship with, or when you can't bring yourself to take the next step. Neige: ? Isn't it pointless to use one if you're already lovers? Ras: No, like I said, it's for when you're ready for the next step. Neige: What's "the next step"? Ras: Um, er, you know, that. Neige: Meaning what? Ras: Uhh… like… holding hands, things like that… Neige: For some reason, I get the feeling you're trying to fool me…

In that scene, you should have gone for the lips, not the cheek! Ras: What? O-oh, you mean that time! Yeah, you know, that would have been a little much… or maybe I should say, it would have been wrong… Nocsia: (glance..) Leo: (I feel someone's eyes on me…)

Come on, why not. I'm sure your grandfather has special feelings for you. Ras: Hell no!! He's a guy, and even worse, he's old, you know?! Not to mention he has a wife and I don't want an incestuous relationship!!! Neige: You don't have to be that angry about it. It makes me feel sorry for him. Ras: I'm the one you should be feeling sorry for.

Questions for the self-proclaimed older brother!

So, who was your first crush?? (lol)

Your first crush was the princess, right? Ras: Huh? Uh, ummm, let's see… That's a secret. Leo: It's not her? Ras: I told you, it's a secret!

Is there any significance to Rasphard's earring?

Is there a story behind the earring in his left ear? (Or is it just a helpful way to distinguish between the twins cough) Ras: Oh, this? I bought it on a whim from a stall at the market… I just liked it for no particular reason. (Creators: Hano said that she uses the same green for the earring and Leo's eyes.)

It seems like Estelio has a lot of expectations for anyone Neige might marry, so I get the feeling that he would end up acting like a demanding mother-in-law if she did find someone… But what about Rasphard? Would he be okay with anyone, as long as Neige had decided on them? Ras: Yeah, if the princess had her heart set on it, I wouldn't interfere, but… Leo: But? Ras: Well… how to put this… it's not like I'd be okay with just anybody.

I know that Leo is physically stronger than Ras, but I'm curious about how much of a gap there is between the two. Judging by how the princess managed to catch Ras when they met, I guess he can't be any stronger than her… (Creators: Even though he's weak, he's still a nineteen-year-old guy, so he has more strength than the princess, as you would expect, but less endurance. He quickly gets out of breath when going up stairs.) Leo: Didn't you practice martial arts? Ras: Only when I was a little kid--ow!--so--ow!--don't start hitting me for real… Now my arm hurts…

List the people you love, romantic and platonic, in order. Ras: In order? U-um, that's gonna be rough. The people I love, or I maybe I should say, the ones usually on my mind, are the princess, Leo, Grandfather, Grandma, and Dad. As far as somebody I love, I guess the princess? I don't know.

There's a scene where Leo picks up the princess and carries her, but would Ras be able to do the same? He doesn't seem to be as strong as Leo… Ras: Are you making fun of me? Of course I could carry someone as small as the princess… Neige: Oh, really? Leo: … Ras: What's with those skeptical looks? Sure, I couldn't carry her very far, but…

Has Ras been in love with Niege all this time??? Ras: Wow, not beating around the bush, are you. Well, now that you bring it up, I guess so…

Why does Ras want to be the older brother? Ras: I mean, I'm inferior to Leo in basically every other way… I'd like to be superior at just one thing.

(Not a note, just a quick break to avoid hitting the character limit)

Does Ras do fortune telling? If he can, I'd like to see him divine what's going to happen to the other characters from here on. Neige: Your fortune telling is all fake anyway. Ras: No, it's not! Man, you're rude. Sure, I used some flattery and sweet talk, but I actually know a lot about divination. Neige: Hmph, I wonder. Ras: Here, I'll tell your fortune right now. Princess, yours is "the one you are waiting for will come from afar." Leo's is "take care not to lose what you have." And before long, Princess Nocsia might meet the one meant for her… Nocsia: Ooh. Neige: What? Ras: What's the matter, Princess, you feeling lonely about somebody taking away the big sister you finally got? Neige: Of course not!

Ras is friends with Neige now, but does he still have romantic feelings for her? Ras: Hmm, I dunno. Romantic feelings… I don't really understand what they're like in the first place.

Have you had any fun since you came to the castle? Ras: I have! Sometimes the princess comes to see me, and I've gradually been chatting with more and more people… Oh, and the food is great. I can get some even if I don't say a word, it's the best. Neige: You are absolutely hopeless at everything other than toxicology. Ras: Not everything…

Are you a loser? Ras: I'm not a loser! … Well, I want to get to the point where I can proudly say that, anyway.

Why is Neige so cute? (lol) Ras: Hmm, let's see. It's gotta be because she's so kind. She pushed herself to say what she really felt in order to help me, even though she's bad at that kind of thing. I thought it was great of her. Neige: Y-you're a little too open with your thoughts…

What's your favorite flower? Ras: A flower… I guess the ones I like because they're easy to make into poison don't count. Maybe white clover, I guess. I used to hate them, but I kinda like them now.

Say something loving to Neige! (lol) Ras: Loving? Now I'm embarrassed… Um, glad to know you. Neige: That's supposed to be "something loving"? Ras: Aww. Okay then, how about "wanna elope with me?" Neige: What would you even do if I said yes? Ras: What?! I'd... be at a loss...

Does Ras still love Neige? If he does, is it painful for him to watch Leo and the princess having fun together? Ras: I do love her… but it's not painful for me. After all, the princess seems like she still likes me, even after learning all about me. I'm satisfied just knowing that she cares about me. If anything, I get annoyed looking at the two of them, so I guess that's more of a problem for me.

(Note: I had some trouble parsing that last sentence in Ras' answer, so take it with a grain of salt.)

He doesn't have any more death flags… does he? (uneasy) Ras: I don't think so… (uneasy)

In the end, who does Ras really think is the older brother? Ras: Me! Definitely me! Neige: Everybody in the castle thinks you're the younger one. Ras: W-why? Neige: It's your fault for not bothering to talk to anyone but us. Ras: You… have a point.

What do you think about your grandfather? Ras: It was surprisingly easy to go back to the kind of relationship we had way back when. I'm kind of… no, I'm very happy about it. I just wish he'd stop hitting me with books.

I want Ras to be my bride. What should I do? Ras: But I'm a guy… Neige: You've got more people saying they want you for a bride than for a groom. Ras: I'd prefer it if they'd do a normal love confession…

[2n2n]

"Thank you for fully completing the game! I'm not good at writing, so I'll do a postscript with a picture of the twins…

If they were this close when they were little, that would be interesting… ♪

Looking forward to comments and fanwork! /// … I wonder if that's okay to say… yes it is! See you soon!" -Hano (Aida)

[2n2n]

and now..... le more discreet personal posting!

Of all things, actually... most moved to tears and incredibly wowed that Iro somehow did a very good and surprisingly respectful job depicting schizoid symptoms....? I don't talk about myself too much, in that manner, as it's of course personal, but suffice it to say I do have personal experience with that in particular aha..... and...

I'm actually not such a fussy person, I honestly enjoy a schlocky depiction as much as just about anyone-- I mean, you know-- I love yandere and romanticized or exaggerated extremes of such themes, I am in no way 'too good' for or even in any way offended by a more cursory or trope-ish depiction. Frankly I just like delusional thinking or unstable reality depicted, even if it's funny or in a horror element. And I mean that!! I have my no-nos and times it doesn't work like anyone, but I'm not fussy or snobbish about it overall, I can eat junk food ....

But.....! it's euphoriccccc when something handles it earnestly and with love...it touches my heart.... you know, delusions always have a logic to the person inside of them, even if outsiders see something inscrutable, there is a kind of legacy..... ah, Ras's 'break' is so beautifully and artfully handled... the imagery is in some odd way sublime... I really enjoyed the sense of serene, controlled quiet, before, as well... that period of time, that's so underrepresented..... that prodromal period. Him appearing, if anything, calmer, more studious, stilled.... before (to be true, that's also what I like about Amane immediately before the shinjuu... this oddly accepting atmosphere... a peaceful aura).

I love the catalyst. I love how terribly awful it all is, yet it amounts to visibly, Ras just sitting there silently. The presence of the vial lingering against him all day, the force-fed rat dying in its cage, the suicidal ideation projecting out, how completely incidentally tragic it is that this boy has a twin and a profound self-hatred, this too naturally mixing in his mind, as he can't get to know Lio enough to delineate them in his mind.... I like that it's not a matter of throwing himself all over or screaming, at its worst. He was if anything, noisier, cockier, fussier, louder, when doing 'better'.... when doing 'worse', everything washes away from him.

I really really reaaally loved it all folding in with his reading and learning, and then the nature of split-eggs for identical twins giving Ras this idea of "meant to be only one" not on a nefarious or malicious level, but on this.... level that feels like a logic, for someone so suicidal with such a bad life. Why is there two? What point is there in two being there?

I'm glad we get to hear so much from his own perspective.... but then, he has no ability at all to communicate any of this. Even if he tried to explain... it would only be, "that sounds crazy".

All of this said, it's made me incredibly excited for the possibilities for Tsukasa, at age 13 especially... like, Iro can really, write, this? I'd be so happy with just a yandere stan manga, but can I really have both my fun cumrot and my considerately thought out psychos....??? lol..... I'm just... touched....! More certain than ever that Iro has the power to kill me with bare hands lol....

I wonder if I am easy to please or what... hehe. well I like to be so easy to please if so..... glad for m'lil crazy guy....

[2n2n]

Alright. I'm gonna make fun of Lio until he dies now. The afterstory is too incriminating, you have such a problem……. my pity only goes so FAR Lio…..

Lio personally toiling for three years to be exclusively responsible for his brother's return because otherwise he imagines he's shackled himself to eternal unhappiness because . he has a complex of guilt and atonement surrounding him. Makes the endings he is steaming mad about Ras dying (END 4/5), and the ending Lio poisons Neige (END 6), egregious in a new way. IN a funny way, mind you, I LOVE it. Like this COULD NOT be more personal for you-- Ras REALLY IS 'leaving you on read'. But he doesn't know that, omfg. If he KNEW the invitation was from YOU and if YOU worded it personally in a manner that DESCRIBED YOUR FEELINGS FROM THE START, literally every single bad end of this game wouldn't HAPPEN, and Lio would get the outcome he wants, TOO. MY GOD. Its JUST like Amane-- YOU HAVE A COMMUNICATION ISSUE, SO HARD... I'm going to strangle you--!! You want Ras to just make the decisions that will culminate in your happiness, without ever having to BE outwardly vulnerable or reveal ANYTHING about yourself-- without having to reveal how you feel about him--!!!!!! BUT AS A RESULT, RAS FEELS LIKE A CRIMINAL FACING A WARRANT, not a beloved brother being begged to return--!! BY the person he hurt--!! THAT IS YOUR FAULT, LIO--!!!!! and nothing is enforcing this.... he's just not willing to be vulnerable and risk rejection, because he is a big baby, omfg. I love it. LIO-- ESTELIO, AMBROSE!

I know I know the life of conditioning I do I do .... but I legitimately think he takes it farther than necessary and tests it in other measures.... if he's willing to 'break' it far enough into obsessing on Ras's return, he could 'break' it 1 tiny inch further by just making the offer directly......

That you can go from trying so hard scrabbling for years to get everyone to forgive Ras and run all these papers and forms around, but then if Ras refuses to come you are like.. "HE DESERVES THE SHIT LIFE HE HAS, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HE DID!!" is-- you really ARE like a goddamn jilted lover, oh my GOD. Because YOU'VE been obsessed with this for years, personally endeavoring to save Ras, you can say he deserves to suffer, if he refuses to return to see you ……………………… BUT YOU DON'T EVEN WANT TO SAVE HIM FOR HIS OWN SAKE, you want to save him for --you--!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! To have!!!! Because you're so miserable!!

Jesus. You're willing to risk so much to acquire this, too... and my God, how you essentially are responsible for Ras's life, all of his actions.... everything he does is to be owed towards you, good or bad..... FUCK. Jesus. Ohhhh. FUCK

In the ending Ras kills Neige and himself in END 3, it is... literally Lio's exclusive fault, AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH. So epic lol. Everyone will point at him for his bizarre, obsessive desperation towards Ras.... FUCK yes, what, what a miserable ending possibility! I LOVE IT! The ultimate price to pay for his sad longing, to have nothing at all.....! I can't help it, but it's sort of funny!

I think it's funny that Lio's concept of duty and the conditioning he went through has resulted in a complex surrounding his brother as if this is the ONLY person who could ever save him from his sadness, and understand him…. he's not forbidden to marry, or have a life! At least, even if the insane Ambrose family taught him otherwise, that isn't what is formally upon the books, and it's not expected of him to refuse. He thinks.. "but my brother might be able to understand my solitude, as another person living that life"…… he's put so many eggs in that basket that it's gonna drive him insane…..! It has so much POWER to drive him insane....!

There is such a point of "omg, your life is so sad but I can't pity you about this" which Amane hits, too, where truly for Lio and Amane it is like "………….. BUT NOBODY TOLD YOU TO LIE ALL DAY LONG….." … Amane could be honest with Nene, there could be some manner of progress… on the complex......... Lio could talk to Ras about how much he needs him here, Ras would be SO HAPPY to know Lio has been fighting for years and dreaming of their possibilities, that it was his exclusive task… PLEASE JUST TELL YOUR BROTHER HOW MUCH YOU LOVE HIM, BEFORE I HIT YOU WITH A RAKE….!

Lio is so. Has a LYING problem….. so does Amane!!! I understand why AidaIro are always like, "talk to the people around you, please" about Amane, aouaoauhu Lio, is literally out here like, "pleeaaase mindread me and figure out what I want" LIO it would be insane to understand you say the OPPOSITE of what you want…. it would be one thing to lie by omission about your little brother feefees…. BUT YOU ARE SAYING, THE OPPOSITE…. ! Whats more you're bullying him..... KISS YOUR STUPID BROTHER ALREADY YOU BIG DUMB ANIMAL

[2n2n]

cannot be helped, I must talk about my favorite line in the character Q&As..... to the best of my ability...... between Neige and Ras.... about Estelio....

・もっと照れていいのよ！…もっと照れていいのよ！！（2回目） 　　ラス「よし、リオを照れさせてみよう。日常的に」 　　ネージュ「難しいと思うわ。何よりあいつが赤面症とかだったら気持ち悪いわよ」 　　ラス「姫さん、言うね……結構」

something like....

・(directed at Lio) You should get embarrassed more! ... you should get embarrassed more!! (a 2nd time) Ras: Okay, lets embarrass Lio. Daily. Neige: I think that's going to be difficult. More importantly, it would be creepy/gross if that guy was blushing all the time. Ras: Princess, I have to say…….. that's fine.

fucking... get his ass...... I love Ras's phrasing, kinda like... "that's sufficient/that's okay/that's alright by me"..... lmao. Neige meanwhile using kimochi warui fkls;dgkg like ugh ew... nasty..... imagine Lio blushing all day... sick..... Ras is like "damn lol harsh....but," I love this dynamic sooo much, PLEAAAAASE band together to embarrass Lio..... come onnnnn

[2n2n]

outside of the document I can also post things like this

[2n2n]

BIRD was ASTUTE and wondered aloud if the Minamoto family is similar to the Ambrose in that…. a family which once was bottom-rung, rose to aristocracy through extreme sacrifice no one else was willing to make (including subjecting their own children to their system). A very Waternoose style "I'll kidnap a thousand children before I let this company die" policy, you know. The Ambrose family was not naturally aristocracy, the role of poison-tester poison-taster was either had by criminals or suicidal individuals consenting to martyrdom. I'm not sure what people did pre-Minamoto, or what 'started' the Minamoto.... we only know that 'the' one was considered defective (and he doesn't appear to ever use his lightning capabilities at all, suggesting he may not have had them, and was rejected by the family proper as a prospect, much like Kou [to a lesser extent]... while Tiara is elevated to a near-royal valuation due to being born with extremely powerful abilities).

As a result the Ambrose family is very no-nonsense with upkeeping their traditions to maintain their relative empire, which can only exist so long as it subjugates its own members. Sounds pretty Minamoto-like! They held power in their community, but in a role that required them to place themselves in constant danger, to maintain it.

Always wondering about the Minamoto's fangies and lightning powers. Maybe it's simply that being completely and utterly devoted to safety and protection is all you could offer in order to not be ejected. A foothold for a family that perhaps wasn't always doing well. Children become fodder in this sort of situation. You can condition them towards anything.

the missing piece for me is if the Minamoto... MADE... themselves this messed up and, kaii-infused ... ? or if they were naturally a sortof mix and feared/rejected (and compensated by becoming kaii-slayers to prove their trust against preexisting prejudice). I could see either being true. Like I could see these desperate, maybe poverty-stricken people feeding babies oni blood and testing out what 'takes' and what doesn't, how well their bodies accept and embrace it, and over time you just naturally emerge with the most ultimately compatible blood as infants die or don't. Or idk, can a person naturally be slightly kaii, how would that work? Would we dare introduce hybrids to this madness, it feels antithetical to how they 'work' to ME but, we know nothing lol so it's all conjecture. I'm a fan of babies being subjected to kaii blood and organs, like a drop at a time and gradually increasing. Teru could be foreshadowing that with the horrible pizza, and being the one to explain kaii consumption to endow powers. None of this is meaningful though </3 just proposing nonsense </3

[2n2n]

I could even compare Teru to that Rasphard Ambrose-like virtue of "I don't need anything more than this, and I'm suited to it, I don't even mind it, I'm good at what I was enslaved to do from birth, so it's not a problem really...." ....being so suited to it and receiving any kind of stimulation benefit makes it all the harder to fight back against it or report it as what it is. It's not eternal torture to read books, to slay kaii.... you like to be good at it. So, why complain so much... its not so 'dramatic' feeling. Too much of the lack of agency can be shrugged off by being compatible with whats asked of you.

And a similarity is the feeling like it's spoiled/selfish to do anything but keep your head down and feel washed in the cleansing noble duty of assisting those you love, endlessly, tirelessly, resolutely. Rasphard wants to be able to toil honorably in the castle's library, it should be 'enough' to serve the Princess and the country as a whole needs him (as the town needs Teru surely), but he can't control how it will drive him insane. I don't think Teru is quite so extreme though, since he didn't grow up SO deprived class-- the genuine familial love coming from Tiara and Kou really sures him up into someone more capable and functional, and he ISN'T isolated physically at ALL-- he IS good at interacting peacefully and 'normally', unlike Rasphard. I don't really think Teru is on the verge of a break so much lol, but I think we save that quality for our mains really....

This isn't me saying the characters are ancestors but rather simply pointing out that Iro likes to write certain concepts. I think even Estelio shares these problems-- he loves to serve his Princess, and he's rather compatible with this solemn duty with a lack of interest in being a normal person, but ultimately, he wants more, and he feels it is pathetic to ask for that, to wish Rasphard could see underneath his surface and pull out what's been needily crying.

I like that we have to break these dutiful fools down lol get them to get weepy and beg for more and feel greedy.

When I look at Kou I... can't help but feel like he's there for, contrast....? Just to put more of a pin in these other psyches and how they compare?

[2n2n]

You will never know What's under my skin So won't you say goodnight So I can say goodbye?

You will never know What is in my veins So won't you say goodnight So I can say goodbye?

Won't you go to someone else's dreams? Won't you go to someone else's head? Haven't you taken enough from me? Won't you torture someone else's sleep?

[...]

Empty sky, no way, that's me 'Cause one half of my heart is free Empty sky, no way, that's me 'Cause the other half of my heart's asleep

[2n2n]

The Ariana & Schefflera story is so ah, stimulating to think about in conjunction with the entire story, across different endings…….. Rasphard's attachment to this narrative… where a horrible, ugly twin with a disease that differentiates her from her sister, willfully infects her beautiful, kind twin sister who loves her from the bottom of her heart….

It is such a miserable narrative… where once her sister is forced to face the same pain and isolation as she had, she cannot bare it, and kills herself… and then the guilted and responsible sister, with no future, and no sister who loves her, proven that nothing about her life can ever be endured, no matter how kind the heart, follows thereafter…

Well, I want to try to type out how I have liked to think about this story across all of the minds at play.... ah, 'regardless of authorial intent', I am not sure if such all over the place relating was the entire intent, but I've really loved to compare the fabled twins at every angle to the Ambrose....

It is so interesting how the fable comes to contrast with Ras's reality… for all intents and purposes, Rasphard did 'infect' Lio with his misery, that night of the poisoning… from that moment, of being held tight in Ras's arms, hearing his name called, feeling his golden eyes burning into his….. Lio has been haunted, and wanting, and lonely. It sounds as if he had not realized his own lonliness before that moment… and his guilt for what he did, ignoring Ras's pain.

It was Rasphard who 'put' that 'sickness' into Estelio…. and Estelio has never forgotten it, and restructured his entire mind and life thereafter the event…. atoning for his guilt, so many years. Just like Rasphard....! One in a literal isolation, another in a strictly internally enforced isolation....

A real 'poisoning'... inside his mind! But thank goodness, the twins can survive together and help prove to one another that the future is worth hoping for... Estelio truly does believe in Rasphard's potential happiness, even if he can't.... well, in the one ending...

I'm sure in many ways, Rasphard choosing to kill himself over living in the castle is as painful for Estelio as Ariana's hopelessness in the wake of her sister's passing… how Schefflera's giving up effects Ariana.... some insurmountable lonliness and helplessness ultimately confirmed by the only person who could argue for otherwise. Estelio feels only his brother, his twin, could understand the feelings he's been suffering through…. for the only person with any chance of understanding, to choose death, ah. Miserable. The Ambrose isolation is exposed for what it is... unlivable. Not worth it.

Rasphard sees himself as Ariana in his own mind, but in the perspective of Lio, it is Rasphard who selfishly confirms helplessness regardless of how it will effect the other twin. Rasphard in that sense becomes Schefflera, the beautiful twin, who gives up quickly. Which I'm sure Rasphard could never imagine for himself.... he is never thinking of his death as having such an impact; he is not thinking that Estelio wants to seek comfort in him as specifically his twin brother, the other lonely Ambrose. I can't blame Estelio for feeling so upset/betrayed by Rasphard's abandoning him behind, nor can I blame Rasphard for being unable to even conceptualize it as 'leaving you behind'.... he's too far from being able to see himself as poor Schefflera, he can only be the ugly, bitter, envious Ariana, in his mind. His death cannot devastate someone else.... even if he... wants it to.

(It's interesting really how Rasphard has romanticized the idea of being grieved and agonized, as something he wants so so badly, maybe more than he can want anything else in his state of mind; just another reason to be so fixated on this story, where twins ultimately effect one another so deeply that they both have to die ... some part of him must think, "that is so nice", in a way. )

For Rasphard's situation though…. I'm glad he managed to impact Estelio so profoundly, from something as erm, elegant and heartfelt as an embrace (its more sublime than a conventional infection). It's really beautiful somehow, that he bore his own misery straight into Estelio. It was not the poisoning that mattered, the 'infection' was a different kind… given Estelio's deep shame over having abandoned his unhappy brother while he indulged in the Princess as a child, I'm sure he could see himself as the 'ugly' twin, and Ras as the 'from-the-bottom-of-her-heart, loves you regardless' twin. I do not think Estelio felt he deserved Rasphard's grip and wailing for him. In that moment, I think Rasphard was beautiful to him.

I can understand being so moved by that.... and internalizing everything as both deep pain and longing.

The detail in the story that Schefflera adored her sister... it feels like it can confirm both sides feelings in its own way.

Who is the 'ugly' sister?

[2n2n]

I think that given enough time to observe Estelio's Problems, that Ras will steadily acquire the same power Tsukasa has, of being able to just start talking in a different register and immediately making their brother lose their pupils and stop moving. It is so game set and match here.... with Estelio having so much loaded potentiality in his head about Ras, really the more weighted end of things, and already in the Q&A Ras is a bit able to wig Estelio about his lack of earnestness & his hidden feelings beneath the surface ... to which Estelio never has a retort.... I think Ras is already peering at his contemplative face by the afterstory and gathering what he won't say.... Lio's days are very numbered. Ras literally reads psychological textbooks. You are extremely straightforward, Lio..... your opponent has simply been a girl 5 years younger than you up until now.....