#author's note i slept fully expecting it to be worse and to have a sore throat and cough by the time i woke up and then it was

[eigong]

For the record—I did, in fact, willpower away the cold that I was beginning to develop. Nothing can affect me unless I allow it, whether that be mutation or a cough. Or death. Nothing. I could be battered and bleeding with the force of mortality itself staring me dead in the eye and I'd force myself back up to fight until I myself deemed it my time to die.

[star-trekkin-across-theuniverse]

Resource Management, pt30-32

Word Count: 7664 (but it’s THREE chapters!!) Tags: @supermoonpanda @rayleyanns @sistasarah-sallysaidso @feelmyroarrrr @anyakinamidala @dirajunara @little-study-bug @rampant-salamander @goodnightwife @samaxraph99 @anotherotter  @outside-the-government @kingarthurscat @coyote-in-space @originalpottervengerlock @dolamrothianlady @curiositywillbethedeathofme @superheroesofbothuniverses @mtriestowrite @wanderingkat77 Author’s note: This is the big finish (these three chapters were all sorta short so I stuck them together for you). Next up: One shot series of their backstory and history. PS, this cabin actually exists, right near where @rampant-salamander lives.

Cabin in the woods, he said. A retreat when I need to be away, he said. Completely off the grid, he said. I’d been imagining a picturesque little bunkhouse surrounded by trees. One bedroom, a galley kitchen, a pit toilet outside. I should have really considered that it was Tony Stark who said all those things to me.

The fucking place was huge. You could probably see it from space. It was easily four thousand square feet of gorgeous log cabin. The kitchen was bigger than my entire apartment. Actually, so was the bathroom. But I didn’t really notice. I just walked until I found a bedroom and collapsed.

It was morning when I woke, and for a minute I panicked. I didn’t recognize my surroundings, and the bright sunlight was streaming across the hardwood of the bedroom floor from the floor to ceiling windows leading to the sundeck. There were no curtains in the bedroom. There were only trees and rolling hills as far as I could see, which was a good enough reason to not have curtains. Why obscure such a stunning view if you were the only one nearby to see it. I knew the driveway was about three kilometres long, and I suspected that was the shortest distance to anything civilized.

I climbed out of bed and padded over to the window. I hadn’t slept well; I’d tossed most of the night, and I felt tired and sick. I ached all over, and was not looking forward to looking at myself in the mirror. I wasn’t sure what I was looking forward to the least: seeing the evidence of William Barrett’s attack on my body, or seeing the eyes of a murderer staring back at me. I shuddered and felt dirty everywhere. I had a moment where I understood Lady Macbeth on a cellular level. I just didn’t think I was ever going to feel clean again.

Despite that feeling, I ran myself a bath. I slipped under the hot water and felt some of the tension in my shoulders release. I folded up a facecloth and placed it over my eyes before tipping my head back and forcing myself through a series of breathing exercises to calm myself. I wasn’t replaying my fight with Barrett anymore, I promised myself. It was kill or be killed, and I valued myself far too much to have allowed him the victory. I kept repeating it to myself in the hopes that someday I would believe it. That it could justify my actions. I had a sudden and deep recognition of how hard it must be for agents like Phil, Barton, Romanov. To have to take a life and not dwell, not have a palatial retreat to escape to in order to heal your soul. I was hoping Tony’s cabin would heal my soul. That might be too much to expect from a log house.

The aroma of freshly brewed coffee finally reached my nose and brought me out of my thoughts. Off the grid indeed. J.A.R.V.I.S. apparently didn’t count. Of course, the place probably was run off of one of those arc reactors, so it would make sense. I pulled the plug on the tub and toweled off. It was completely quiet in the house, no music, no banging, no hint whatsoever that Tony had made it during the night. Then I remembered his conversation with J.A.R.V.I.S.. He was probably still dealing with William Barrett’s body.

I padded out to the kitchen in my towel, following my nose to the coffeemaker. A full pot was sitting there, waiting for me. J.A.R.V.I.S. was brilliant. I opened the cupboard above the machine and pulled down a cup. The morning was glorious, nothing but blue sky as far as the eye could see. The trees barely moved, so the air was still. I checked the thermometer outside the kitchen window and decided to drink my coffee on the deck. There was a lounge chair set up overlooking the field leading to a river. It was perfect. I laid back and just basked in the sun, feeling the warmth tickle my skin, and forced myself to push away thoughts of William Barrett again.

“You had to kill him, or he would have killed you,” I said quietly to myself, “you had to kill him, or he would have killed you.” I hoped Stark Industries had good employee health insurance because I suspected I was going to need a lot of therapy.

My cup ran empty, and I secretly wished Tony had sent one of his robots to live here so I could get a refill. I walked back into the kitchen and refilled my cup. My stomach growled and the lure of massive refrigerator was too much. I hadn’t had a real meal in nearly a week. I wanted eggs and bacon and toast and another huge cup of coffee. I pulled open the fridge. The cool air rushed out and I remembered I was still just in my towel. Suddenly cooking seemed like too much effort. I closed the fridge and rummaged around in the cupboards until I found a bowl and chopped up some fruit. The strawberries were so ripe they were dripping juice, and they were small, like they might come from the property. I was going to need an orientation if I was going to be here for any amount of time. Where to find wild strawberries was definitely the number one on my list.

Despite the coffee, once my stomach was full, I felt drowsy. I closed my eyes against the sun and took stock of myself. I was clean, I was warm, my tummy was full of delicious fruit and I was safe. I needed to convince myself of the least part so that I could relax enough to get some good solid sleep. I got another flash of the scene in the clearing, and could feel the phantom resistance of Barrett’s skull on the bottom of my bare foot.

“You had to kill him or he would have killed you,” I chanted. “You had to kill him or he would have killed you.”

I closed my eyes and dropped my arm over my forehead. A cool prickle ran slowly from my feet up to my face, and I realized I was suddenly in shadow. My eyes snapped open, but whomever it was standing over me was backlit, and just a silhouette. I scrambled up in the lounger, pushing against the sprung canvas, trying to gain my feet.

“You had to kill him, Annie. He would have killed you. Or worse.”

I fell off the far side of the lounger knocking my coffee cup off the deck table. Unsurprisingly, the cup cracked into three large pieces. I assumed a fighting stance and when I spread my legs, my towel popped open. I fumbled to tuck it closed again without looking away from the man on the other side of the lounger, willing my eyes to finally adjust.

“Stay back.” My voice was gravel, and using it hurt. I must have screamed in the clearing. I saw a hand reach toward me.

“Annie, you’re safe. I’m not here to hurt you,” the voice seemed so familiar, but I couldn’t place it. It wasn’t Tony, and Tony was the only human I’d interacted with in the last week. Well, aside from Barrett, who couldn’t possibly be standing in front of me.

“I could kill you. I know how.” My voice cracked, and my eyes filled with tears. I blinked and dashed them away.

“Annie, I’m coming across the chair. Please don’t attack me.” His voice was low, and soothing, and I could feel the tension melting in my shoulders. I redoubled my stance and took a step back. He stepped across the chair, fully into the shadows. My eyes finally adjusted as he pulled me into his arms in a quick maneuver. His hand came up to the back of my head and he held me close. I slumped into his shoulder and started to sob. I took a gasping breath and looked up at him.

“Phil, what,” I stopped to breathe, “what are you doing here?” I snaked my arms around his waist and dropped my head back onto his shoulder.

“Shh, it’s okay. I’m here. You’re here. We’re safe.” He led me back into the house. I followed without noticing where we were headed. He sat me down on the bed, and helped me put my legs in. He pulled the covers over me, and then reached under to pull my towel off me. I looked up and saw he was in his ridiculous running get up. He started to pull off his sweaty shirt, and stepped out of his shoes, and then climbed in the other side of the bed. He pulled me close, and I laid my head on his chest, listening to the rhythmic pounding of his heart.

“You need to sleep. J.A.R.V.I.S. said you tossed all night, and Tony said you haven’t slept more than three hours a stretch since you left Toronto. I’m here. You’re safe. Nothing can happen. But you need to sleep.” His hand tangled in the hair at the base of my neck. His breathing was slow and even, and he was warm. He smelled clean, but sweaty, and my hand traced lightly through his chest hair, the sensation against my fingertips numbing me to the world. It wasn’t long before I dropped into a deep, dreamless sleep.

I came awake slowly, alone in the bed. I sat up, wondering where Phil had gone. Had I only dreamed of him tucking me into bed? I saw his t-shirt on the floor where he’d dropped it when he’d tucked me in and my breathing slowed. I dragged a hand thought my hair and tied it back in a ponytail and pulled on shorts and a t-shirt. From the location of the sun, I could tell it was morning again, and when I took a deep breath to stretch my aching body, I could smell coffee. I followed my nose to the kitchen. Phil was sitting at the table, drinking his coffee and checking his email on a SHIELD laptop.

“Good morning,” I dropped a kiss on the back of his neck on my way to the coffee maker. He smiled up at me.

“You look better. How do you feel?”

“I’m sore. Everywhere. My chest is tight, like I’m on the edge of a panic attack that won’t come. But you’re here. For now, I’m okay.” I poured myself a cup and sat down.

“When was the last time you ate? Real food, I mean,” he asked.

“I had some fruit yesterday morning.” I closed an eye and thought about it, “but before that I think I had some beef jerky in McBride.”

“I’ll start on breakfast.” He kissed my cheek as he brushed past me to the kitchen. I followed him and popped myself up on the island counter to watch him. I didn’t stay still for long. He’d barely got the eggs on when I dropped off the counter and wrapped my arms around his waist, leaning my head against the centre of his back.

“I’ve missed you so much, Phil,” I murmured. “Is that weird? Is it too soon?” Phil turned around in my arms and cupped my face in his hands.

“No, it’s not too soon. We’ve known each other for ten years, Annie. I don’t think there’s anything weird about transitioning from friendship to love as quickly as we have.” He pressed a gentle kiss to my lips.

“Love?” The word popped out before I could stop it.

“I’m not really the kind of man to make the grand gesture, Annie.” The classic Coulson smirk resurfaced.

“I’m going to need to hear it,” I teased.

“I thought I made it clear to you that I love you in New York,” he raised an eyebrow.

“When you were yelling at me? I don’t remember that.” The tightness in my chest started getting worse. I took a deep breath, held it, and let it out slowly.

“I love you, Anna,” he said, “when Tony called me about Barrett, my heart nearly stopped. Again. I thought he was telling me you’d been killed. I can’t lose you like that.” He tilted his head and kissed me, his hands tangling familiarly in my hair. It was slow and soft and perfect. There was a snap from the stove and he pulled away and turned back to the eggs.

“I love you too, Phil.” I felt it should probably be clarified. He smiled over his shoulder.

“Glad we’re on the same page.”

“How long can you stay?” I didn’t want him to rush away after such a big pronouncement.

“I have a few days. The team is getting settled at the new base,” he started. “They should be okay on their own for a while.”

“New base?”

“SHIELD, as we knew it, is gone. Fury is in hiding –“

“Fury is ALIVE?” I interrupted.

“Yes, but he’s in hiding. He’s named a new director, to rebuild SHIELD from the ground up,” he finished his thought. I was confused. Tony had just hired Maria Hill.

“But Hill is working for Stark Industries now,” I commented.

“He didn’t name Maria the new director,” he explained. “He named me the new director.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” My jaw dropped. I wasn’t sure if I should be happy or furious.

“I was surprised myself. A lot of my conversation with Fury was surprising,” he admitted.

“Oh?”

“I’m an Avenger.” He slid the eggs onto a plate, and pulled the bacon out of the oven.

“You’re what?” I gaped at him.

“Fury said he ordered all those surgeries, all those interventions on me because I am an Avenger.” He was still in shock about the admission himself. There was confusion and surprise and something that might have been joy in his eyes.

“Does that mean I have to stop saying Thor is my favourite Avenger?” I teased. He pulled me into another kiss, this time rougher. I didn’t need another answer.

I needed to stretch, and move. After being cooped up in the Jeep for almost a week, I felt like I had muscle atrophy. And then there was the pain from my fight with William Barrett. I needed to do something more physical than getting tangled up in each in front of the TV.

“There were wild strawberries in the fridge yesterday morning. We should go hunting,” I suggested. Phil nodded.

“Sounds good. Maybe Tony will be here when we get back.” He rose from where we’d been sitting on the couch and headed toward the bedroom to get changed. He returned, stuffing his sidearm down the back of his jeans. I raised my eyebrow but said nothing.

There were no fences, but J.A.R.V.I.S. had told us the property was over 200 acres, so we headed in the direction of the river first. It didn’t look far from the sundeck, but it took us about an hour to reach it. I sat down on the riverbank and looked across the water. Phil dropped down beside me. There were birds chirping, and the noise of the river running, and wind in the trees was so peaceful. The tightness in my chest started to ease off a little. I drew in my breath and sighed out again. A deer stepped out of the woods on the opposite side of the river and dipped its head to drink. It looked up at us and shuffled a little at the edge of the water, making sure it could see us while it was drinking. It lifted its head and stared at us for a few seconds before bounding back into the woods. I felt a tear trickle out of the corner of my eye. Phil reached up and smoothed it away with his thumb. I blinked my eyes closed for a few seconds, willing the tears to stay back, but when I looked back up at him, the floodgates opened. I turned away and wiped futilely at the tears streaming down my face.

“What is wrong with me?” I gasped.

“Annie, you killed a man. With your foot. Not with a gun, or a bomb, or any other long-range weapon. You killed someone at close range. And you are a good person. So you’re in crisis and shock. It’s a good response. It’s good that you are upset. It’s good that you are grieving.” He slid his arm around me. I took another deep breath.

“I’m not sorry, Phil.”

“I didn’t suggest you should be. Even when it has to be done, it’s still traumatic. You’ll need counseling.” He kissed the top of my head.

“Was it like this for you?” I asked.

“I couldn’t keep food down for a few days.” It was reassuring. I could feel the flow of tears beginning to ebb. I dried my eyes with my shirtsleeve and stared back at the river.

“Let’s find the strawberries,” I said, pushing myself to my feet. Phil followed suit, and we headed into the scrubby bushes near the river. They were low and heavy with fruit, and we filled the bucket we’d brought out with us. We filled our stomachs too.

On our way back to the house, we stopped at the edge of the brush and sat down in the lush grass that delineated the ‘yard’. There were puffy white clouds drifting across the sky, almost as though the hot sun was making them lazy with effort. I laid back and stretched my hands up into the grass above my head. Phil lay down beside me, propped up on one elbow. I couldn’t recall every seeing him look so casual, in a Captain America t-shirt every bit as ratty as my own, and a pair of faded jeans that were getting worn at the knees. I reached up and ran my hand down his cheek.

“Do you really have to go back? Can’t we hide out here forever?” It was wishful thinking, and I knew it, but the cabin and surrounding land was peaceful. I still felt broken, but I knew this place could heal me.

“I have HYDRA to stop. And a world to protect.” Phil rested his hand on my stomach, “but this is very much what I had in mind when I said we were going on vacation.”

A red streak crossed above us heading toward the house. Phil sighed and pushed himself to his feet. He held out a hand for me and pulled me up into his arms, kissing me on the forehead.

“Let’s see if we can chase Stark back to New York. I’m not quite satisfied with the amount of alone time we’ve had yet.” He took my hand and we headed toward the house with our bucket of strawberries.

“Let me look at you. I’m supposed to tell Pepper if you are okay as soon as I see you, and she managed to get J.A.R.V.I.S. to promise to shock me with the suit if I don’t.” Tony grabbed me and held me an arms-length away. He was still in the suit, so it was unsettling. I squirmed a little and looked away. His hand came up and grabbed my face and turned my head further to the side.

“Ow, Tony! Jesus!” I pulled back. He dropped his hand and let go of me. He stepped back and gestured for me to turn around. I rolled my eyes at Phil and did as he demanded.

“You have a lot of bruising.” He walked over to what I thought was a closet and disappeared. When he came out, he was barefoot, in a t-shirt and a pair of cargo shorts. And looked as pissed off as he sounded. He immediately walked over to the counter and poured himself a drink. He held a glass out, offering to Phil and me. We both accepted.

“I didn’t see a lot of bruising on her when I looked her over,” Phil offered.

“Well, you don’t have an ultraviolet scanner built into your brain, so that’s not surprising. She’s got a lot of trauma to her neck and throat, both her arms, her left thigh, and across her back. Not to mention a hairline fracture in her cheekbone, and that’s going to probably turn black as soon as it gets the chance. It looked like it won’t need surgery. But she’s a mess.” Tony tilted his head and reached out to touch my cheek. I recoiled. It wasn’t hurting but I didn’t want to take any risks.

“Is J.A.R.V.I.S. positive about the fracture?” Phil stepped between Tony and me and reached up to my face. I drew in a deep breath and tried to hold still. He placed both a thumb on either cheek, and felt under my eye, sliding them across the skin slowly. He followed the contour of my face and frowned when I flinched away from his hand.

“Yes. We should probably get an x-ray and consult to ensure surgery isn’t required. Unless you have some magic pill up your sleeve that will heal her.” Tony gave Phil a pointed look.

“SHIELD has nothing that I would trust giving her.” It was like a door had slammed, Phil shut down that quickly.

“Then we need to take Annie to get an X-ray.” Tony tilted his head to the side and looked at me, assessing my face without the suit on, “you can see where the line of symmetry is broken in her face. It has to be assessed.”

“It’s too dangerous. We don’t know if HYDRA knows her alias,” Phil argued, his neck starting to flush

“Phil, we have to get her looked at. Every hour that we waste fighting about this, that fracture would be destabilizing,” Tony raised his voice and pointed at my cheek. God love them both, but they were annoying the hell out of me.

“Hi, guys? I’m right here. Can I be included in this? My face hurts. I want an x-ray to reassure me.” I took Phil’s hand and looked in his eyes, “I’m sorry honey, but this has been too much. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life being reminded of it every time I look in the mirror.”

Phil let out a sigh and nodded, squeezing my hand.

“I’m sorry. Both Tony and I should have asked what you wanted first,” he admitted.

“Did you need to see a doctor?” The triage nurse looked over the top of glasses up at us. She pushed them up her nose as I nodded and stepped forward.

“I do,” I admitted. She nodded to the chair in front of her desk. I sat.

“What is the problem?”

“I was, uh,” I trailed off. I didn’t want to make something unbelievable up because it would cast suspicion on Phil and Tony. I could feel myself flushing. I took a deep breath, determined my lie and looked back to the nurse, who was still waiting. Her nametag said her name was Christy.

“Take your time.” She smiled at me and then focused a glared at Phil and Tony, who would hovering behind me, “maybe it would be easier without the men?”

Tony stepped back and mumbled an apology. I glanced at Phil and stopped him from joining Tony in the waiting room. He stepped behind my chair and placed a hand on my shoulder.

“I was here readying Mr. Stark’s property for his arrival. I went for a run, and met up with a stranger on the road. He attacked me, and tried to,” I paused and closed my eyes, feeling Barrett’s hands on my throat again. To took a deep breath and blinked, trying to prevent tears from springing into my eyes.

“He attempted to rape her, and when she fought back, he physically assaulted her. She’s been complaining of pain in her face ever since,” Phil supplied. He squeezed my shoulder.

“Is that true, ma’am?” The nurse asked. I nodded and reached for the box of tissue on her desk. I was so tired of the roller coaster of emotion I was on. She typed some information into the computer, and took my blood pressure.

“That seems high,” I commented when I saw it. She nodded.

“Stress and trauma will do that. Let’s fill out your paperwork. Name?”

“Annie El–“

“Coulson,” Phil supplied, cutting me off. I’d forgotten my alias. “Anne Coulson.”

I could feel my cheeks turning pink with embarrassment. The nurse smiled broadly.

“I couldn’t remember my last name for about six months after I got married. How long has it been?” She asked, softening. I looked up at Phil and smiled.

“Just about a week,” he supplied. “Setting up the property for Mr. Stark was supposed to be our honeymoon. Quite a wedding gift to get from your boss.”

“That is really nice. I’ve seen the house, it’s gorgeous. Coulson is spelled C-o-l-e-s-o-n?” She asked, and hesitated only briefly for Phil’s nod. “How long ago did the injury occur?”

“Two days ago, I think? It’s a bit of a blur,” I admitted. She asked a few more questions and gave me a quick exam, typing her impressions out between answers.

“And do you have your carecard with you?” She was asking for my medical insurance card. Which even if I did have, wouldn’t have said Anne Coulson-spelled-C-O-L-E-S-O-N on it.

“That would be where I come in. Anne is an employee of Stark Industries, and was injured while working. Just bill me directly please.” Tony stepped back beside us. The nurse looked confused for a minute. They probably didn’t get much in the way of uninsured patients at the hospital. The town was less than five thousand people, and the socialized medical system in Canada ensured that each Canadian had access to medical care. She probably had no idea how to code that I had no insurance, or how to bill Stark Industries. She stared at her computer screen for a minute and typed a few things in and then smiled, and took all Tony’s billing information. I leaned back against Phil’s stomach and closed my eyes. I felt him smooth the hair off my face and smiled weakly. I was achy, and tired and despite needing the reassurance that my face wasn’t a huge mess, I didn’t really want to be at the hospital. I flinched at a sudden sharp pain in my cheek and took a quick breath in. I brought my hand up and guarded it.

“Are you okay, Annie?” Phil was squatting beside me in a split second. I tried to open my eyes to look at him, but trying to open my eye was too painful. I started to nod and then realized I didn’t have to be strong. I looked at him with my good eye and shook my head.

“No, I’m not. My cheek just got so much worse.” I thought my nose was running, and wiped at it. When I pulled my hand away, it was covered with blood. My hand shot back up to my face, and I wiped again, coming away with more fresh blood from my nose. Phil handed me a fresh tissue, and I could see he was trying to stay calm for my sake, but his eyes were dilated and the pulse in his neck was racing.

“Let’s get you back to see a doctor,” Christy, the nurse, said. I nodded and tried to stand up but was overcome with dizziness. The last thing I remember seeing was two of Phil.

Something was choking me. Something was choking me, and I couldn’t breathe. Something was choking me, I couldn’t breathe and I couldn’t move my arms. I kicked and could feel the scream of panic in my chest, but couldn’t make any noise. Because something was choking me. I opened my eyes and saw ceiling tiles. I turned my head and saw a monitor, an IV pump and a big machine with a pile of tubes coming out of it. Tubes that were leading to me. An older nurse laid her hand on mine.

“Annie, honey, let the machine breathe for you. I’m going to give you a sedative to relax you, and then I’ll let the doctor know you’re awake. Try to stay calm.” She emptied a syringe into the IV line leading into my arm. I closed my eyes and forced myself to relax my hands, stop kicking. The ventilator made a rhythmic pumping noise and I could feel my lungs inflating. Someone I couldn’t see slipped my hand into theirs and squeezed. I tried to turn to see who it was, but my eyelids were already heavy from the sedation. I dropped back off to sleep.

I sat up, gasping for air. My hands flew to my head. It was pounding. My mouth felt like something had died in it. I closed my eyes and eased back down into the bed. I was in the same room. The ventilator was turned off, but the heart monitor was still beeping. I watched as it slowed back down. Something had startled me awake, but there was no one in my room. It was just me and the equipment.

“Hello?” My throat was even more hoarse than it had been. I tried to swallow. It was like razor blades. “Hello?”

I looked around the bed for a call bell. There had to be one somewhere, I didn’t think they wouldn’t want me to get up to find one of them. I turned my head and saw it coiled and clipped to the wall. I dropped my head to my pillow and sighed. I heard footsteps at the doorway and looked over. Phil looked like hell. He was in the same jeans and t-shirt as he’d been in when we came into the hospital. He had dark circles under his eyes, five o’clock shadow, his hair had a little wing at the side, like he’d been sleeping in the empty chair beside my bed. He was carrying a take-away coffee. I tried to smile but my head hurt so much I couldn’t. I waved weakly instead. He smiled and sat down in the chair beside my bed.

“How do you feel? Has the nurse been in?” He took my hand in his and kissed it. My vision was a little blurry but I could see a gold band on my ring finger. I wiggled it at him.

“I hurt. I just woke. No nurse yet. What’s with the ring?” I croaked. He held up his left hand so I could see the matching band on his finger.

“Tony.” He stood and pressed the call bell. A nurse came in.

“You must have just wakened, Mrs. Coulson. Are you having pain?” She looked at the heart monitor and pulled back the sheets to look at the bandage on my side.

“Yes.”

“I’ll be back in just a minute.” She slipped out the room quietly.

“Fill me in. Are we still in Fo –“

“No. Prince George,” he replied. I sat up. He put a hand on my shoulder and pressed gently until I lay back down.

“But –“

“We’ve taken care of it. You are safe.” He stroked my arm.

“My mum, she – “

“Your mother is in Italy right now.” Phil was using his most soothing voice on me. I wanted to roll my eyes but even thinking about rolling my eyes was painful. The nurse came in and gave me pain medication through my IV. She asked Phil to step out so she could assess me, and he gently refused. She smiled, and I suspected that Phil had refused every time while I was sleeping too.

“Your husband has barely left your side since you came to us,” she offered as she listened to my chest. I wasn’t the least bit surprised. She lifted the blankets at my feet and made me wiggle my toes, and point and flex. She listened to my stomach, checked my catheter, and checked my dressing again, emptying the little bulby drain that was pinned to the gauze. Phil drank his coffee, and spun the ring on this finger. The nurse finished her assessment and clipped the call bell to the bed.

“We’ll try to get you up later this afternoon. If you can mobilize, we can lose the catheter.” The way she said it, I knew it was a carrot that was dangled in front of reluctant patients to get them out of bed. I wasn’t reluctant. I wanted out of this hospital as soon as possible. She slid the door most of the way closed as she exited. I sat the head of the bed up and looked at Phil.

“Don’t try to anticipate my questions. Just listen.” My voice was barely a whisper. It was probably better that way. “My mum worked here, at this hospital, until she retired after Dad died. Her best friend still works here.” I looked around the room. “Shit. Am I in the ICU? Why the fuck am I in the ICU?”

“When you passed out, it wasn’t because of your cheekbone. The fracture J.A.R.V.I.S saw didn’t require any intervention. Barrett kicked you a couple times, didn’t he?” Phil asked.

“Yeah, why?”

“He ruptured your spleen. The surgeon was able to repair it, but you’d lost a lot of blood, and you coded during the surgery. They induced a coma. I thought you were going to die, Annie.” He looked down at his hands and took a deep breath. I saw a tear splash on the floor. I put my hand on his.

“I didn’t. I’m here.” I coughed and cleared my throat.

“Tony wanted you transferred to one of the SHIELD advanced care centres, but they don’t exist anymore. He’s been trying to track down this drug that will repair your spleen completely. I don’t trust drugs like that. They’ve been doing a great job here. You’ve been safe, and after the transfusion, you started doing much better.” He was rambling. He was a mess.

“How much was transfused?” I interjected, before he could start again.

“Just two units. Tony pulled some strings and there’s this super-blood they’ve been using in mobile military hospitals. It’s apparently bloodier than regular blood. It worked; your colour was better immediately, and your vitals all started to improve within about an hour. The last labs that came back on you showed your red blood count was at the bottom of the normal range. And your wound has stopped draining. They did a chest x-ray to make sure it wasn’t stopped because of damage, and what is left of your spleen is in decent shape, considering.” His thumb was rubbing the back of my hand rhythmically.

“I’m not going to suddenly gain some weird-ass powers, am I?”

“I’ve had that conversation with Tony. No. There’s an accelerated healing factor in the blood, but you will remain unenhanced,” he assured me. I sighed in relief.

“Phil, my mum’s best friend works in this ICU,” I started. He blanched.

“I –“

“I’ll manage it if she comes on. She’s Mum’s best friend. She’s practically my aunt,” I yawned. I was so tired. “How long was I out?”

“Six days. You didn’t start to improve until your transfusion last night.”

No wonder he looked like hell. I reached over and ran my hand down the side of his face.

“You need some sleep, and a hot shower. Go. I’ll be fine. You said yourself I’m safe.” All the talking had left me with little more than a whisper of a voice. Phil nodded and stood.

“Okay. They have my number if you need me.” He leaned down and kissed my forehead. Before he could stand up, I grabbed him by the neck and pressed my mouth to his.

“I need you well-rested and healthy. Go. Sleep.”

My nurse brought me a drink and some soup. It was the best soup I’d ever tasted, but I think that was just because I was starving, and it was warm. She changed my dressing after I finished eating, and sat with me while she did her charting. When she finished she came back and lowered my bed a little.

“Time to try to walk,” she announced. She unplugged the IV pole, and hitched the catheter bag to it. She directed me how to push up and then stood beside me, an arm looped under my armpit. On the count of three she helped me to my feet. “We’ll go to the door of your room, and then back.” With her arm still under my armpit, we moved slowly toward the door. I broke out in a sweat.

“Why is this so hard?” I asked.

“The trauma. You’ve been unconscious for six days. Your body is spending all its energy healing you,” she explained. I nodded. We turned and walked back to the bed. She assisted me back to sitting, and then helped me lift my legs into bed. “I’ll bring a commode chair in before shift change. If you can get up with me just standing by, we’ll take the catheter out.”

She didn’t have to tell me twice. I lay back and closed my eyes. When I came awake again, a new nurse was standing at my IV, hanging an antibiotic. She turned and smiled and my heart tightened. It was Carol, my mom’s best friend.

“You never told your mum you got married, sweetie. She’ll be heartbroken.” The first thing she did was chastise me. It was no wonder I’d called her auntie growing up.

“We’re not married,” I clarified. “You didn’t tell Mum I’m here, did you?”

“What do you mean you aren’t married? You both wear wedding rings, your chart says your name is Coulson.”

“It’s an alias, and it’s spelled wrong,” I protested.

“Yes, I saw they had you as an Anne. I fixed that with records. What is going on, Annie?”

“You know how I went to work in the States?” I asked. She nodded. “Well, the agency I worked for was the one that fell apart a few weeks ago. And there are bad people after those of us who stayed loyal to the agency. Phil and Tony have been trying to keep me safe.”

“Well they haven’t done a very good job. A ruptured spleen from an attempted sexual assault!”

“It wasn’t an attempted sexual assault. It was an attempted murder. The guy was going to kill me.” I looked out the window, breaking eye contact with her.

“And they saved you?” She pressed.

“No. I took care of it.”

“Took care of it? What does that mean? Took care of – oh dear god, Annie, you didn’t.” Carol sat down heavily in the chair beside the bed. She took my hand and ran one of hers down my face, tears glistening in her eyes. “Well, honey, you always were a fighter. More fool him for thinking he could take you on.”

“Please don’t tell Mum I’m here. They’re still looking for me.”

“You know how terrible she is about checking email. I had no intention of sending her a message until I knew what was going on with this husband of yours. Do you work with Phil then? He was very good at playing the distraught spouse.” It was a question delivered with an arched eyebrow that I knew meant she didn’t believe for one minute that we were merely coworkers.

“Phil and I are seeing each other,” I admitted slowly. The smile lit up the room, and she clapped her hands together.

“Honey, he is so lovely. He brings coffee every shift change for us, and he’s so quiet and considerate. Won’t leave your side for anything. I was surprised he wasn’t here when I came on shift. He’s a little old for you, but I don’t think that matters as much anymore, does it?” I think she intended it as a rhetorical question. “Well, sweetpea, I’ve got to get your next med ready. When I come back, we’ll get rid of that catheter and get you out to the tub.”

The last time Carol had helped me in the bath, I was about five years old. I remember the way she scrubbed my hair, strong fingers massaging my scalp, angling my head back to rinse the soap out. It was no different now, except that I was an adult and I felt weird having her see me nude. Every time she saw a bruise on my skin, she clucked her tongue and shook her head. She helped me to my feet, and towelled me dry while I stood holding the assist bar beside the tub. Finally, she sat me in a wheelchair and combed out my hair.

“Can’t say I’m a fan of this red, Annie. It washes you out.” I could feel her fingers slipping through my hair, and realized she was French braiding it. She snapped an elastic at the end, and opened the tub room door. I could see Phil waiting in my room, tapping his foot. He kept looking over his shoulder. He was worried. I wasn’t used to seeing Phil so on edge. He’d always been the most unflappable of the agents I’d known. But since SHIELD had fallen, he’d been different. Well, since the battle of New York, he’d been different. Edgier. But since the destruction of SHIELD, he’d been more agitated. He glanced back again and saw Carol pushing me toward my room and sprang to his feet.

Once back in the room, he offered to help me into bed, and Carol took the opportunity to slip away back to her other duties.

“You still look exhausted,” I chided him. He’d obviously showered and shaved, but I don’t know that he’d slept much.

“I couldn’t sleep. I’ve been catching an hour here and there in this chair. I’ll be fine,” he dismissed my concern. I raised an eyebrow. He clenched his jaw in return. I sighed and shook my head.

“You’re no use to me broken and sleep-deprived, Phil.”

“I spoke to your doctor while you were in the tub. As long as you continue to improve as you have over the last twelve hours, he’s going to discharge you tomorrow,” he explained.

“Really? I’m that much better?” I was surprised. As far as I could tell, I’d been extubated less than twelve hours ago.

“Your labs have done a 180. I put him in contact with Simmons, and he was quite reassured that you’ll be in good hands.” He put his coffee cup to his mouth and then thought better of drinking it.

“Simmons is coming to take care of me?” It didn’t make any sense to me.

“I’m taking you to the new SHIELD HQ,” he clarified.

“But Tony will want me to start working soon. We’d planned for me to work from the cabin until things settled,” I protested.

“First, you’re not in any shape to be starting work. Second, when you do start working again, it will be as the HR director of the new SHIELD. I’ve already worked the details out with Tony.” There was the Phil I remembered. Taking charge, making decisions. I bristled at his words.

“And if I don’t want to work for SHIELD? It’s pretty nervy assuming you can plan my life for me, Phil.” There was a warning tone in my voice. Phil smiled and took my hand.

“I could say that Tony decided you were too much of a liability and decided he wasn’t going to hire you after you were directly insubordinate to him three times. Which is what he wanted me to say. Instead, I am going to tell you that we fought over you. He thinks he can keep you safer, and I think the new base is the safest place for you. So we disagreed, loudly. I only won because I played the lover card,” he explained. “But you are right, in the end it is your decision. You have a job with either of us, you just need to decide where you want to go.”

“How many operations does the SHIELD director go on? Will he be at the base ever, or will he always be off saving the world?” I asked. Phil smirked.

“For the first little while, he’ll probably be back and forth a lot. Saving the world, recruiting clean agents, rebuilding. But he’ll always be permanently stationed at HQ. As would you,” he pointed out. “It’s weird to talk about myself in the third person. I’m rebuilding SHIELD from the ground up. I want you there. Selfishly. But also because you’re a damn fine administrator, and I think you’ll be a damn fine agent too.”

“Stark Industries has a much better benefits plan,” I teased. Phil sat on the edge of my bed and raised the head of my bed. He leaned in and kissed me. My breath caught and I snaked my arm behind his neck, pulling him closer, and tugging on his lip with my teeth. He groaned and pulled away.

“Not all benefits are in the employee handbook, Annie.” He kissed me again, soft and fast.

“I’m going with you. And you knew there was no question about it. I just didn’t like you making the decision for me.” My hand found his, and I lay back on the bed, all at once exhausted.