#augment epithet

[chuuyastesticles]

｡. ﾟ･. ❀　ﾟ･. . bubble trouble ｡ﾟ. ･ . ° . ✿ ೃ

✿ ۪⋆ a lorelai blyndeff x reader headcanon fic!! ; * 🔮 {{ 🐇

{~🪄~} content ;; ' gn!reader x lorelai blyndeff, headcanons, small fic, lorelai making a dream bubble, molly blyndeff, bellatrix roughhouse, phoenica fleecity, martin being avoided, lorelai is a semi-good sister 😨😨, early relationship, chaotic dream bubble, nonbinary molly

[𓋫] lorelai blyndeff, who panics when you mention meeting her family, but agrees excitedly, hoping to have you over for dinners with molly and her, asking if you could visit soon

[𓋫] lorelai blyndeff, who waits next to the door the day you're scheduled to come over, repeating to herself that you won't blow the family dinner off, she accidentally blew up in molly's face when they tried to ask if she was okay, she realized feenie and trixie were over as well, this was the WORST day to invite you over.

[𓋫] lorelai blyndeff, who flinched as soon as the rapping on the door began, she jumped around and put her hand on the doorknob, hesitating. she turned the handle and opened the door to see you, smiling at you.

[𓋫] lorelai blyndeff, who introduced you to molly, you and them got along pretty well. she then turned her attention to the two brats molly called their friends, she mumbled out their names like it was a curse to never be said, phoenica greeted you with an excited handshake, trixie, on the other hand, scolded you for choosing lorelai of all people.

[𓋫] lorelai blyndeff, who scowled at trixie, hating their choice of words, but just hid it under a mask, she laughed it off, telling everyone it's time for dinner.

[𓋫] lorelai blyndeff, who got a minute or two with you, asking you if you still love her, trixies words felt like bugs crawling under her skin, seeping anxious thoughts into her. she held your hands gently, her eyes almost pleading for your praise.

[𓋫] lorelai blyndeff, who felt all the thoughts of you leaving practically leave her soul as you reassured her you'd never leave her just because of some kid who was butthurt over things she's said and done.

[𓋫] lorelai blyndeff, who held your hand all the way to the table, telling you that you didn't have to cook, but you had insisted that you knew their situation, so it'd just be the best thing to do, and that you wanted to.

[𓋫] lorelai blyndeff, who almost felt like crying, wondering how someone as nice and generous as you could date someone so mean and selfish as her.

[𓋫] lorelai blyndeff, who kept herself composed because like hell she'd be caught crying infront of her little sibling and their friends.

[𓋫] lorelai blyndeff, who asked you to stay the night with her after dinner, wanting to show you what kind of dream bubbles she likes to make.

[𓋫] lorelai blyndeff, who lights up like a lightbulb after you say sure, smiling at you and then telling molly and their friends to shut up for the night because you were staying over.

[𓋫] lorelai blyndeff, who could hear trixie's giggling as she brought you up to her room, sitting down on her bed and sighing, asking if you wanted to see the dream bubbles now.

[𓋫] lorelai blyndeff, who let you get comfortable in her lap, trying not to show how much she was flustered, but her voice was squeaky and her laughs were almost forced.

[𓋫] lorelai blyndeff, who grabbed the speaker she shared with molly, turning it on to play music, asking if you like mitski, when you say yes, she plays "First Love/Late Spring" by Mitski on the speaker, blasting it just loud enough its drowning out her squeaks and rambling.

[𓋫] lorelai blyndeff, who struggles to create the perfect dream bubble with you in her lap, but she refuses to ask you to move off her lap. she was content with you being comfortable enough to lay down in her lap, so she was gonna let you.

[𓋫] lorelai blyndeff, whose head snaps to the door after it creaks open, molly peeking their head through and asking for the speaker. she sputters at molly, trying to keep making the dream bubble for you.

[𓋫] lorelai blyndeff, who ignores molly's running to the speaker, turning it off and taking it to their room, shutting the door behind them. she yelled a thank you to molly, then re-focusing to you.

[𓋫] lorelai blyndeff, who hums in content when she finishes, telling you that the bubble was ready if you wanted to go in.

[𓋫] lorelai blyndeff, who takes your hand as you get up, entering the small-size dream bubble with you, not planning to spend absolutely forever in the dimension she made, because it was hand-made just for your interest, not hers.

[𓋫] lorelai blyndeff, who looks at the cottage on the hill, then at you, she pointed up to it, and told you that she made this bubble for you and you only, she didn't care if she didn't like anything, she just wanted to please you.

[𓋫] lorelai blyndeff, who is so tired by the time you were ready to leave. she helped you out of the dream bubble, and then settled you into her bed, putting herself to bed shortly after changing.

✿ ۪⋆ credits ; * 🐇 {{ 🍫

🔮⊱༺; dividers ; cafekitsune (tumblr) 🔮⊱༺; asst. ideas ; ozzy (tumblr) 🔮⊱༺; lorelai images ; chococat (pinterest)

✿ ۪⋆ notes ; * 🐇 {{ 🍫

🔮⊱༺; first time doing.. anything in this line of work. this is my first epithet erased fic, and headcanons, plus my first posted fic, and first headcanons.

🔮⊱༺; to please my boyfriend, I decided to use a nonbinary molly!!

✿ ۪⋆ tags ; * 🐇 {{ 🍫

🔮⊱༺; @thenumberonephoenicafleecityfan

[tearaheart]

Lorelai would be an uta kinnie 100%

[inaconstantstateofchange]

Raphael/Haarlep | there is wise valour (and there is recklessness)

A/N: 18+ | a pre-canon exploration of the possible origin of Raphael's Ascended Fiend form, and the begrudging rapport between him and Haarlep.

Words: 3.4k

Read it on AO3

Raphael stalks through the halls of his House – nothing so grandiose as to deserve the epithet, yet, but he is prepared to impress his will upon the universe until it is – cringing imps scattering into the shadows as they avoid his fearsome tread. A telltale haze shimmers at the edge of his vision, overwriting the dull stonework with rippling red. The door to his personal suite looms out before him, and he scrabbles at the handle, forcing it open just enough to allow him entry, then spinning to force it closed again with a barely-tempered thud. The resolute click of the arcane locking mechanism grants him some small measure of relief.

His servants, few as they are, know not to disturb him here, so he will have his peace.

This simple and inanely optimistic certainty is broken almost immediately, with the voice of potentially the last being he desires to encounter in this moment: Haarlep, his lord father’s wretched consolation gift.

Oh, he certainly did not deign to express it as such, but the timing made the implication exactly as clear as the Archduke of Cania required. Too slow to profit as he had desired – as he had planned, painstakingly – from the fall of Netheril, and the fatuity of the fool Karsus, the Crown and its fearsome power already swept up and shelved away in the vaults of Mephistar, to be ignored or studied – then ignored again – at his father’s leisure.

“Oh dear, our little lord’s in quite a state today, is he not?” The silken tones of the incubus’s voice might be enticing to another, but they grate against Raphael’s ears like the music of a fingerless bard.

Raphael grits his teeth, refraining from digging his horns into the wood of the door before him by willpower alone. Haarlep, his father had named the wretch, an insipid mirror to reflect his every action back to Mephistar. He could not afford to be known to his father in this state.

A fit of temper was one thing. Hypocritical though he be, Mephistopheles could not deny his blood ran true in such matters. An uncontrollable beast-form, however, one twisted and warped by the broken magics of Netheril? Such knowledge would bring either disdain or interest — and a scrutiny he would not be liable to profit from in either event.

“What are you doing here?” He grinds out, refusing to turn around. Poor form, to leave his back to an enemy, but better the suspicion of weakness than the truth of it, until he can master himself as he ought.

A light, chiming laugh floats through the air like gossamer webs, undulating as the incubus steps closer to him. They run fashionably tapered claws in maddeningly delicate tapping motions down his back, between the base of his wings. He’s certain it is meant to entice, but all it does is make his skin itch and crawl, hungering for slaughter – for satiation – in a ravenous manner he has not felt before.

The desire itself is certainly not new to him, but the drive to follow through, and damn the consequences? That is more of a struggle. He’d thought the beast-form would take a mighty shape, one that would augment his own power and prestige, that he could gloat about to rivals and hold over the heads of his siblings.

Instead, he is left to feel grateful for his position of no note, that he has no true household staff to warn away from loose tongues. Only a few wretched imps, too foolish to put one brick atop another were the plans directly before them, and the incubus, its true thoughts held scrupulously behind dancing eyes. Said incubus’s vexatious tapping continues, clawtips light enough to refrain from marring even a thread of his richly embroidered tunic, but refusing to respond to the intimation of his shifting motions and leave well enough alone.

“Why, I aim only to remind my lord that I am here at his disposal, of course.” The incubus’s tone is conversational, as though they are speaking over a formal luncheon, rather than after they had barged into his own private chambers without so much as a by-your-leave. Raphael’s fingers curl against the door, leaving slight gouges this time.

The incubus is not finished, however, continuing on languidly, “We have had so little opportunity to connect, you and I, since I was first remanded into your… care.” The subtle emphasis put on the last word indicates the incubus’s cognizance that the reality was anything but, and invites him to commiserate with their shared circumstance. Raphael declines. Their situations are nothing alike, and he’ll not be condescended to by this… this… wretch.

At his limit with the damned touching now, Raphael spins away, knocking the incubus’s overreaching arm to the side. “Enough, damn you!” His voice begins as a snarl but he manages to quell it to a hiss. “Your presence is neither desired nor requested, and thus you should be anywhere at all in the estate but my private chambers.” He gestures to the door in a clear dismissal. “You may count yourself fortunate that I have more pressing matters to deal with at the moment than your insolence.”

He knows as soon as the last word leaves his lips that he’s made an error. The incubus’s eyes light up behind the graceful drape of their hair, filled with a dancing glow as its plump lips curl with keen delight. “More pressing than making use of an esteemed gift? The little lord is keeping secrets.” Its tongue flicks out, long and forked, wetting its lower lip with a glistening sheen as it draws, achingly slowly, back in.

Raphael tears his eyes away from the gallingly-enticing gleam, displeased to find that, yet again, his threats are as puffs of air to this detestable creature. He attempts to draw himself up, mantling his wings with oblique menace, and flattens his voice to a firm register. “I have no obligation to keep counsel with you, cur.”

The incubus taps one long, slender finger mockingly against its chin. “Mmmm,” it lets out a long, unnecessarily drawn out hum. “‘Obligation’? Certainly not. I would not dream of prevailing upon the goodwill of your august personage to demand as such.”

It pauses, a glimmer of sweet-edged malice drifting across its face. “However… It might behoove the little lord to indulge an ally, rather than order an adversary.”

The hellfire haze, nearly dissipated while he was not paying attention, blazes back into being around him. The beast howls within, clawing at his bones, desperate to cleave flesh and willing to settle for his own if more suitable sacrifice was not provided. Raphael grinds his teeth against the cry of pain, keeping his voice unaffected even as it feels like speaking through blades of infernal iron.

“You presume much, gift-of-my-father. Perhaps too much. Why should I seek to find an ally in one so markedly bound to higher loyalties?”

The incubus laughs, light and mocking. “Loyalties? What a precious concept. A lord must have strength enough to protect his vassals, in exchange for their loyalty.” Their friendly mien drops entirely, pinning him with a flat, piercing gaze as that damned finger taps, slow and languid, against their chin. “Thus far, I have seen no indication of any such strength from you, little lord.”

At this final expression of disrespect, the delicate webs of Raphael’s remaining self-control fracture and wisp away. A hideous sound of ripping flesh and crackling bone echoes around the room, dissipating against the sound-muffling enchantments etched into the stone. Between one interminable blink and the next, his vision doubles, then trebles, the shifting haze edging out to line the fringes of his new sightlines. He looks to the incubus standing before him in triplicate – a reflection now in truth – with fury the forenote of the increasingly bestial bent to his mind. He loosens his disjointed jaw in anticipation, and awaits the wretch’s usual twist of mockery.

Haarlep stares – up, and up – at the mangled, marvelous creature before them. So this is what their little master has been hiding since his return from the broken remnants of Netheril, bare days after their own arrival. He’d slammed back into the House like a meteor strike, a furious tempest raging throughout its halls ever since. Haarlep’s sole attempt to ingratiate themself had been met with glowering fury followed by curt dismissal, and a silent, fraught détente ever since.

That, of course, simply would not do. Perceived failure at such a level would, sooner or later, make its way back to the lord of Mephistar. And, generous though the terms of his commandment had been, none were that generous.

Haarlep had bedecked themself in their finest things, gauzy drider-silks embellished with blood-pearls and ornate, embroidered sigils, and hied away to the little lord’s personal chambers for one final attempt. Either they’d finally come to some conclusive understanding, or… Well. The consequences for a failed contract with the lord of the Eighth Layer would not be pleasant. Haarlep took pain to bed as a lover as willingly as pleasure, but even their malleable form and aberrant senses had their limits.

And, at first, it had seemed like their cause was just as lost as it had initially appeared. The stubborn little brat, refusing to treat with them as their positions demanded, to engage with the realities they were – the both of them – constrained within. They’d pushed, pressed up close to his body the way they knew he loathed, needling at him with claws and words alike, pricking about for any crack in his obdurate mask.

And then — not a crack, but a shattering entire. Emerging from the stagnant shell of the lordling was birthed a monstrosity, pure and twisted.

An agglomerate skull, eyes glowing baleful and amber from cavernous sockets. Jagged limbs unsuited for movement and coated imperfectly with dappled scale, internal fire licking out from the crevices against undefended flesh, searing and cauterizing in continuous agony. Wings, groomed and genteel mere moments before — now marred with rot and ruin, mantled in tattered shreds held in place by blackened scar tissue.

What a mess. Haarlep could understand why the little master had been so reclusive if this was the shape now lurking within him. His new form’s structure might be passingly compared to that of a cornugon, but only to a witless imbecile. The bone-plate, tarnished and burnt, bore some similarity to the lustrous ossified mail of an osyluth, but lacked entirely their ordered and brutal beauty. In truth… beneath the surface, there was truly nothing of the Hells about this form at all, but rather — something far more Abyssal in origin.

Haarlep smiles, slow and sweet, their long tongue flicking out from their mouth and dragging back the scent of the beast as it returns, a delectable sweet hint of Chaos just discernible below the rest. Their smile grows wider still as they savor it, subtle fangs bared by the action.

“Little master has been quite the naughty boy, hasn’t he? Dabbling with magics too powerful for him, perhaps? Snooping around in pilfered Netherese parlors, grasping at scraps?” They tut chidingly, shaking their head at him.

The beast huffs out a gusting breath, fetid air coursing from its maw, its blackened claws all too obvious as they raise to strike.

Haarlep coos. “How cruel of the little lord to keep this lovely surprise all to himself. Why, we could have been playing together long since.”

Silence, for a moment. Then a reverberating growl shudders from its chest, emerging as a guttural hiss from its frayed vocal cords. With a crack of over-stressed bone, the beast crouches, then springs forward, toppling them both and slamming its forelimbs down on either side of Haarlep’s head. Its bone-jaws open and chitter against one another in accompaniment to its hissing. Hot, silvery liquid drips from the base of its throat, settling in searing pearls on Haarlep’s face before streaking wincingly away.

Haarlep clucks their tongue, reaching out a hand to caress along the roughened bone of the closest skull. “You can certainly take me like this, if you’ve a mind,” they say leadingly, rolling their body languidly upward to brush against the delightful texturing of the beast-form above them. Oh, it has been too long since they’ve dealt with any of Chaos’s get. An admittedly amateur transformation, perhaps, but nothing they cannot endear themself to their little lord by offering some much-needed assistance.

The beast responds with a huff, moving toward their touch for one brief moment, then away again, the creaking of misaligned joint and bone filling the chamber with a grisly cacophony. It seems the little lord isn’t particularly accustomed to his new form’s mind yet, either. That will make some things harder — and others easier.

Haarlep rolls their body up against the beast’s once more, to regain its attention and realign its purpose. Its triune head with trebled skulls, raised to scan the room around them, swings back down to pin him with those flat, glowing eyes, set so far back in their sockets. The vision on this beast-form must be disorienting indeed.

A snarling rumble rises up from the cavernous chamber of the beast’s chest — perhaps a disdain of the presumption, or an unfamiliarity with the sensation in this form. In either case, the little lord is welcome to communicate his desires to Haarlep should he choose. Otherwise, they shall do as a good attendant ought, and attend him.

They undulate again, aiming with particular focus for the most likely location of a hidden pleasure structure, sparing a moment to hope that their rash little lordling had not botched whatever ritual he’d stumbled upon with such talent as to lose that. Haarlep could certainly make an exemplary showing without any such element present – and had upon multiple occasions in the past – but it would certainly help the situation along. After a long moment, they feel an answering pressure coming from the boiling hot area between malformed limbs, and devote particular attention to encouraging it to emerge further.

The beast, plainly feeling the results of their efforts, snarls again, its claws scraping against the stone floor and leaving deep, gouging furrows. Its central skull flashes down and fastens around Haarlep’s throat, just barely stopping before it would cause true harm. They freeze for a moment, elegant neck extended, and luxuriate in the dull prick of those rending fangs — then moan, low and throaty, relaxing into them until the prick becomes true penetration.

The beast huffs, in what resembles nothing so much as sheer bewilderment. Haarlep throws their head back in laughter, relishing the bite of the bone-tooth collar, and the gentle rivulets of blood that begin to seep steadily from the punctures. “No stomach for the devouring, have we? A pity. By all means, then, allow me.”

They slither sinuously free of the beast’s hold, loosened in its surprise, earning more tender tears from the delightful drag of fang on flesh. The beast seems fully lost in its puzzlement now, crouching back on its haunches, its budding member just beginning to poke forth from the sheath at the twisted apex of its hips. Haarlep feels their mouth water, venom pooling slick and sweet, as it emerges in jerking, ungraceful spasms. Their eyes curl up in a true smile.

“Look at you,” they croon. The cockhead is blunt and brutal, with raised ridges at irregular intervals across its surface. The shape of it tapers just under the first bullying bulk of the head, then flares outward again, with diagonal, tiered ridges forming concentric circles underneath it. It looks delectable.

They slide closer on their knees, bowing their head and letting the smooth flood of their hair fall to the side to keep the nape of their neck – and its sluggishly bleeding marks – exposed. The beast observes the motion, skulls twisting to keep them centered in its vision and mantling its tattered wings, but makes no move to dissuade them by force — a clear invitation if Haarlep has ever seen one.

They lean closer, tongue flickering out to wrap around the flat tip and taste. The beast lets out a screeching cry, contorted hips juddering forward and one hand slamming down to tear at the floor. Misshapen then, but no less sensitive for it, it seems. Haarlep retracts their tongue slowly, savoring the taste of ash and burnt sugar. All things taste saccharine to them from contact with their venom, but the overwhelming edge of conflagration on the beast adds an alluring dimension they hunger for more of. And they’ve certainly never been one to deny themself an indulgence.

Prepared this time for the response of the beast – so clearly never touched before in this form – Haarlep wraps their long fingers around it, inanely delighted by the way they nestle into the hollows created by the banding ridges. The size would be difficult to fully encircle for the average mortal, but fits the grasp of Haarlep’s long fingers near-perfectly. The beast gives another rattling cry, starting forward as the stimulation encourages forth one final pulse of the cock from its sheath, a raised nodule at the base of the cock itself tugging free from the lip of the sheath.

Haarlep hums, eyeing the little structure with consideration, then moving their thumb down to caress it with the barest edge of claw. The beast growls, and the blaze of heat about it increases as it curls forward, its skulled head coming to rest in the air just above Haarlep’s upper back. They begin to feel enshrouded in the waves of heat rolling off of the beast, caged between it and caught in the dizzying miasma of Chaos.

They send their tongue out once more, this time holding the beast still by their hand around its cock. Their tongue flickers dexterously in between their fingers and the roughened flesh of the cock itself. The beast pants above them, gusts of air teasing down along their spine. With more of that ash and cinder scent filling their senses, Haarlep widens their mouth and takes the beast’s cock within them, the blunt head rubbing pleasantly up against the back of their throat. Their venom catches and pools in the crevices on the cock’s surface, easing its glide as it enters them. They shift away their fingers bit by bit as they usher the cock into their mouth, adjusting their mouth to its size before removing the last implicit constraint on the movement of the beast.

The head catches against the opening to their throat just as the beast recognizes its freedom, chasing the sensation they’ve granted it with jerking thrusts of its hips. Haarlep angles the flexible muscle of their throat to better receive it, feeling the ridges pressing back against their flesh as the beast bullies its way further into them, utterly uncaring of their own welfare. It is for the best that they’ve been the one to give the little lord’s beast its sorely needed outlet. Any other and the lordling would have more likely awoken to a shattered corpse, with the whole House aware of just how fastidious he is.

Overcome by the sensitivity of its fledgling flesh – and, if Haarlep might be so modest, the experience of their own peerless form – the beast only lasts a few more minutes before its thrusts grow even more frenzied. A sizzling heat permeates Haarlep’s throat as the cock flexes and shudders within it, seeming to grow larger for a few moments as the taste of ash and honey intensifies.

The next moment, the beast is tearing back from them, just barely avoiding slicing itself on their fangs as it stumbles backward, flesh cracking and splitting in a grating inversion of its earlier transformation. Its own form sizzles and steams, a haze in the air around it for a moment before, transmutation complete, their little lord stands before them once more. He looks lost, for a moment, before his scan of the room – now in quite some disarray – comes to a halt with his eyes on Haarlep, still kneeling gracefully with their hair cascading about them. His face twists, too many emotions to quantify spasming across it all at once, before settling on a faint, haughty sneer.

Haarlep licks their lips – and the visible remnants of their activities – slowly, sensuously. “Why, little lord, I do believe you and I have much to discuss.”

[tired1mmortal]

Out of all the motifs @jelloapocalypse could have given people, I did not expect FOOD to be important symbolism in Prison of Plastic.

The candy, cake, and such that Lorelei makes takes no effort at all to make. She just waves her hand and boom instant dessert platter. This is also usually the only kind of food she makes with her epithet. What strikes me is how this is easily comparable to how Lorelei tries to connect with Molly. She makes cool worlds for fun playtime that would make any kid green with envy, but it’s little more than a low effort bribe to win over a child, like a divorced parent spoiling their kid to win custody despite being incredibly unfit to raise a child.

Then there’s the fact that it never lasts, because she never concentrates on it long enough for a person to digest it. This was mentioned a few times and after Giovanni’s conversation with Martin it’s clear why. She never develops her ideas. She never puts in the effort to reuse them. She never works hard towards anything. She just expects to be able to augment her way out of anything. And that’s exactly why she’s no good for Molly.

Because Lorelei always has to have her way, and always takes the easy way out at the slightest inconvenience, she could never be the dependable parental figure Molly needs.

Enter Soup Best Boy

Unlike the candy which is just empty calories soup is a meal. Even if it may not be a person’s first choice for a meal, soup is healthy. Soup is warm, comforting, nurturing, and even Charlie’s entire family got by with cabbage soup before he got the Golden Ticket. We see a lot of these soup like qualities in the book, and even back in season one.

Gio loves his boys. He gets defensive when people belittle them like when Mera belittles them after easily taking Gio and his boys down. Or when Molly implies that his minions are kinda weak. He is always very swift to defend his minions even when he was about to get beat up back in redwood run. Like any good cook he take pride in those who assist him and knows they all have their strengths.

Another major thing about Giovanni is that he’s always encouraging to his minions, especially those who need him in the moment. Admittedly Soup can burn but it’s good for people in the long run. Giovanni berates Car Crash for living up to his name but in the same sentence expresses concern that he may have astigmatism (which believe me is annoying). He was a little bit tough on Molly but that’s just to nudge her to be a little bit more assertive, and all of her friends notice the positive effect it’s had on her.

Giovanni spends almost all of the museum arc talking with or protecting Molly. After tricking indus into freeing them, Gio immediately shifts into fun older cousin mode. They make a fort, she talks to him about her problems and he listens. Unlike Mollys family he listens and he even give her advice and encouragement. Then when Sylvie come in Giovanni is quick to jump to Mollys defense and to get her out of the fire. He is very willing to put in the effort and risk himself for Molly even though they just met.

This is made even more apparent with how he is with Lorelei. He respects Molly’s input and doesn’t give Lorelei an easy in with his group, and yet, he still gives her a fair shot to join. He sets up a challenge that is designed to be impossible, not to test he capability at the task, but to test her character. He bans the use of magic because her abilities aren’t what he wants to know about. When Lorelei messes up the first batch, the first thing he does is tell her that she failed, but that it’s ok. That he doesn’t think less of her for failing. He encourages her to be better.

The second time, that’s when Lorelei gets a little burned. Giovanni tries to soften the blow but it doesn’t change the fact that Lorelei couldn’t cope with not succeeding and cuts several corners using a lot of magic to seem like she did better. She didn’t care who she had to step on for Giovanni’s approval. And that was the problem.

Lorelei tried to cover her every mistake with a layer of frosting in more ways than one. But Giovanni doesn’t see value in someone willing to step on others. That’s why he left the Bonzai blasters in the first place. He wants someone willing to put in the hard work, willing to accept defeat, willing to take the bumpy road despite the difficulties as long as they come out better for their failures. Just because you mess up the broth a little bit doesn’t mean it’s gone to waste, but Giovanni recognizes that Lorelei needs to cool of before giving her another try.

Giovanni himself let his taste suffer to improve his Epithet, and he doesn’t regret it at all. He would do it all again because all the improvement he’s made was built on his trial and error, valuable experience, and determination to make himself a great villain with the card he was dealt. While Lorelei may be able to make wonders rivaling Willy wonka like nothing, Giovanni has made a great soup from a stone.

Lorelei has the power to maybe not fix everything but at least make things better for her family, but she won’t even bother to try.

Giovanni isn’t some big shot rich guy, and he doesn’t even have a job, but he always wants what’s best for his minions and is willing to fight for them. Honestly that’s what matters. Giovanni isn’t the sweet candy most kids would want, but he’s the good soup that Molly needs.

Lorelei makes things with a wave of her hand, Giovanni puts all his heart and soul into it.

is just something I’ve been thinking of for a while.

Let me know if any of you have your own interpretations of this. Or at least better words for it.

[imlivinginyourtrashcan]

haha so prison of plastic, right?

I made an au for it. Its a swap au, but I swap both people and epithets! In this au, Molly has the Epithet Augment. She uses the Dream Bubbles/Illusions to make her own little worlds in an attempt to cope, when something doesn't go her way, she throws a fit about it, as any spoiled child would. Using her tears in order to get what she wants, it often works because her Mom doesn't want to hear her scream. Here's a small, improved excerpt from the au:

The archer positioned her bow, ready to fire the arrow into the large Hydra's echoing heart, her attack echoed throughout the land.

"PIERCIIIIIING URRRRSAAAA!"

...ly..

"NOOO!" The hydra's three heads wailed

"That is the attack of the ancient one!" Said one

"It will surely kill us!" Said another

...olly!...

The archer smirked like how they did in those cool cartoons. "THIS! IS FOR ALL THE VILLAGES YOU'VE FLOODED! AND FOR THE FAMILY YOU'VE TORN APART!!! THE ONE WATTERLOGGED BECAUSE OF YOU!!!

"Molly!"

An echo punched through the funtime fantasy world

"Ughh! Not now not now! I was just about to beat him!!"

She whined, impaitently tapping on the ground quickly with the tips of her toes.

The fantasy rippled, swirled and soon seperated, nothing but a fog now. Lorelai Blyndeff sticking her head through it all.

"Molly! You were on dish duty! You can't just bail like that!"

Molly turns her whole body to face her sister, who's head was poking through her Dream Bubble.

"LOOOOOORIIIIII!!! Go away! I was just about to slay the Honeyed Hydra!!!!"

She hissed, nearly screaming as she swatted her away like a disgusting bug on the windowsill. Causing her archery outfit, bow and magic attack to disappear into a fun dip like powder.

Molly Blyndeff, Lorelai's brat of a little sister. She's spent half their life after their Dad's death crying and whining to get whatever she wanted, and if she didn't get it, she'd make more of a fuss than she was brewing. Lorelai could see through her obvious manipulation of the people's heartstrings and has tried to call her out on in on SEVERAL occasions. But she can't win the fight against Molly's puppy eyes, she'd often grin at Lori before calling for their mother and claiming that she was being mean to her when she really was trying to shape her away from being a spoiled brat. Alas, their mother is too swayed by the puppy eyes and crying to take Lorelai's side.

"You've been playing for THREE HOURS, Molly. C'mon, Mom said its your turn!"

Molly grumbled, she can't use her tricks on Lorelai, since she can see right through her. Nor can she seek the help of her Mother, knowing that there's a chance he could take Lorelai's side. She crossed her long sleeves over each other,

"You're so mean to me, Lori! I can never have fun! All you do is ruin everything!"

Ah, the perfect tactic, guilt tripping. If she can't get any help, she'll pin the blame on the person 'ruining everything'.

"Nice try, Bear Cub, I'm not doing the dishes for you this time, I've got things to do too"

"UGHHHHHH!!!!" Molly grinned, falling to the floor dramatically the entire time she did.

Lorelai stared in disbelief at the little girl Molly was growing up to be, she stepped fully into the Dream Bubble, the scenery fogging away wherever she stepped. She lightly kicked Molly to get her to snap out of her rage fueled funk.

"Get up, no matter how much you pout, you still have dishes to do."

"NO!!!! No no no no no!"

Molly screamed back in rage, snapping her head up and kicking her legs. She stopped briefly only for the bear to be unleashed again,

"JUST GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!!! YOURE RUINING MY LIFE!!!!"

Lori wasn't going to let some brat kid boss her around, she was going to say something, though she couldn't get it out before a screaming and crying Molly was pushing her out of her customized safe space. Then, out the door Lorelai was, hearing a click behind her. She knew what that meant, so she turned around and pounded on the door.

"HEY!!!"

BANG BANG BANG

"MOLLY!!!!"

...

Now for Lorelai! Now she has the Epithet "Dumb", like Molly in the actual show/book. You know what it is, now for another excerpt!

"Uhhhhhh... guys?" Lorelai called

"What? You find somethin?" Giovanni called back

"Yeeeeahhhh..."

Giovanni and Rick trotted over, with Giovanni shoving Rick out of the way in order to see what Lorelai had found.

Lori found a dead body.

Or, at least that's what it appeared to be, the most notable thing about the body, aside from it appearing dead was the jingling bells decorating her hair. Most of the jelly fish had wriggled their way into the bells on the bottom, the rest all laying beside her in the sand, ready to sting her at any second.

"Is she... truly dead?!?!?!" Rick shivered, not even able to comprehend the thought.

"Not sure" Lorelai replied back, looking at him, and then to the dead looking girl.

"AHHH!!!" He squeaked, unable to handle this situations severity. But to be fair, who would be? "No-one can know about this" Finishing his words with a disturbingly grim tone, he starts rushing toward the body in a cartoonish run. He bends over to pick it up before Giovanni stops him.

"Wait wait wait wait!"

"WHAT?!?"

Rick shouted back, still halfway bent down to drag the body back into the ocean.

"We should see if she has anything valuable! It's like a video game! Ya gotta loot every dead guy, gal, or nonbinary pal ya find!"

"HAH!" Rick barked, already sweating buckets, as he faces Giovanni "If you'd like to get arrested, perhaps!" He turns back to the body, going to grab for it "Your finger prints will get all over it that way!" in a twist of irony, he latches his arms onto the body.

Giovanni snrks, "Y'know you'll get your prints on it if you grab it too, yeah?'

Rick gasps, dropping the body's lifeless arm, looking at his hands as if he HIMSELF had committed the murder.

"You're right!"

Rick falls down onto the sand like an anime character, burrowing his fists harshly so that they make two fist sized craters in the sand. He begins to cry big dumb tears

"I'm going to the penthouse!" Rick wails, letting out a squeak at a pitch only dogs can hear. "Please, dear friends! Bail me out!"

"Psssh, Rick, you're such a weenie."

Giovanni grabs a stray stick from the beach and pokes the body with it as to not get his hand prints on the body like Rick did. She was surrounded by jelly fish as if it were rocks on around the pond.

"Huh! Well wouldja look at that!"

He chirped, eye brows a good distance away from his eyes.

"Looks like you win Lori!" He says, tossing the Apple Cider flavored lip balm over to Lorelai. Suddenly the body sprouted to laugh, coughing up a jelly fish that had crawled its way down her esophagous

"Haugh-ha-ga-ha- w- win!?"

Rick perked his head up and The trio instinctively screamed

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!"

The body screamed right back

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

"ZOMBIE!!!!" Rick shrieked, backing away in fear, picking up the stick that Giovanni had tossed away once he saw the body sprout back like a plant someone thought was going to die.

"Zombie?!" The body replied, twirling her head around rapidly, jelly fish being flung from her hair at intense speeds. The trio quickly ducked to avoid the potential of being stung. "Where?!?!"

She quickly got up and started throwing her hand swiftly as if she were throwing several baseballs, Lorelai took notice of what came out of the small girls hand as she jingled through each attack. "Hm!" she remarked, staring at her hand. "Well, that's quite troubling! Perhaps this is a surface interference, from the surface world! That would make the most sense!"

Giovanni got up from his crouching position, getting hit in the face with a jelly fish. Thankfully, it was long dead and didn't sting him. He slid it off his face.

"Hey, wait a sec, this chick ain't a zombie! Way too much skin! Look, I get zombies CAN have skin and all but that's only if they're fresh, and I'm guessing that she's been there for a while. So my conclusion is THIS!!!"

Giovanni did an over the top point to accentuate his reveal.

"SHE IS CLEARLY.... A GHOST! A... magic- GHOST! YEAH! Or- or the reincarnation of a Sheep Jellyfish hybrid! A SHELLYFISH!!! HAHA!!!! I know your secret now LADY!"

The lady put a hand to her mouth, chuckling inaudibly into her hand. "You're quite a funny one, Mister bright hair!" She twirls around towards them, putting her hands together with a bright smile. "I am no Shellyfish zombie-ghost! I..... am a magical girl!" She did a Sailor Moon esc pose, the trio stared at her in disbelief.

No-one thought she was serious.

The girl panicked "Uh- uh- uh- HERE! Let me show you!" She twisted her whole body back and flung forward an invisible force like a boomerang. When she saw that nothing had happened, she tried again. Lorelai did notice a small string of black energy coming out in a faded boomerang position, before poofing away pathetically. She didn't say anything, knowing the kid probably just wanted to impress a bunch of people older than she was.

The newly revived little girl was around 12 years old, which, when around a group of 17 year old's was practically the same as being a baby. The "magical girl" was pale, with eyes bluer than the ocean itself. Her blonde hair decorated in little bells, accompanied by a tattered pink dress with now dirtied white fluff in other areas. She nervously chuckled

"Ahahaha! C'moooon magiiiiiic! Work! Work o pretty please work! A bunch of adults are watching!"

She mumbled to herself in desperation, but alas, her magic did not cooperate. She wailed in shock,

"WAHHHH-HAH-HAAA?!? What?!? But- It usually WORKS!!!! What is going ON today?! Are my friends not friending?! I NEED ANSWERS!!!"

The little girl stomped over in the most non threatening way possible.

"Excuse me, kind older folk! Would any of you care to be my friends?" She batted her eyes innocently. Giovanni immediately shut her down

"Nuh uh kid, no way"

"Awwww... why not?!"

"Because you're like, a baby, and we're like, way older than you? And it'd be really weird for a bunch of 17 year old's to hang around a kid???"

"Haha! Wow! Owie! Ow! Owchie!" The girl forced out a chuckle, putting her hands on her hips to distract herself from the fact she felt like crying big stupid tears. "I- I'll have you know I am VERY mature for someone who is 12 years of age!"

Rick stepped out from his friends, "Hold on, you, you said you're magic, correct?"

"Yes! Indeed! I am a Magical Girl, after all!"

"Perfect! How fortunate! HAHAH!" Rick echoed a belly laugh, grinning somewhat creepily at her, making her kind of regret ever meeting him. Lorelai tapped Rick on the shoulder.

"Rick, you're doing the thing again."

"Haha! Oops! Sorry!"

Rick now smiled in a more normal looking way, "My name is Rick Shades, the XV of the Shades clan! I assume you've heard of us?"

"Nope!" Exclaimed the magical girl with innocent pride, Giovanni snickered again which made Lori elbow him. Rick felt like he could turn to stone at any moment, but continued with his tale.

"The people in my family are MOST powerful witches and wizards! Every five years, the oldest heir is destined to do BATTLE with the UNHOOOOOOLY PUPPETEER!!! And if we do not... we must prepare for the ENDDDD!!! The adventurer must pick up a faithful knight!"

Rick gestures to Lorelai, "A skilled alchemist" he gestured to Giovanni. "As well as a Tanky sort of fellow, to take the hits for us, as well as a skilled, wise mentor!" Rick put his hands on his shoulders, bending down to the girl's height.

"Would you perhaps be interested?"

The girl pondered the thought, humming. Lorelai had quickly picked up on the 'Rick is being a weirdo' signs, dragging him and Giovanni away. She never blamed Rick for his lack of social skills, ability to pick up on social cues or discomforts with large crowds. She knew he never got out much when he was young, but sometimes she has to put her foot down when he's doing something the public could perceive as weird, such as trying to build a friendship with a 12 year old when you're way older.

"Oh... oh no... sorry to put a stop to this but- we gotta go! Oh- oh nooooo...We- we got a class! And... we REALLY don't wanna miss it... oh nooooo"

"W- wait! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIT!!!!!!!" The little girl shrieked, quickly running up to them, skidding with a halt. "Shouldn't you keep me in your fun fun friendship magic circle? Y- you know?? In case you need me to- to mentor you?????"

"Hmmmm..." Rick thought about it, squinting through his dorky looking shades. "Well, that make sense!"

"RICK!" Lorelai protested, but it was too late.

"Very well! My name is Phoenica Fleecity! Shall we be..." She extended her hand. "Friends?"

"Indeed we shall!" Rick held her palm with the awareness of a dog about to eat a brownie, Lorelai and Giovanni had both tried to stop him, and ultimately failed. The sky tore asunder, several amounts of black shadow sheep extended in tidal waves, circling the two with loud jingles.

JINGLE

JINGLE

BAAAA

The sheep fell onto each other, the two sets forming into arrows, one piercing Rick's chest, and the other piercing Phoenica's.

"The pact... has been sealed! Hehehee..." Phoenica chuckled into her hand, face contorting into mischief, the mischief erupting into madness and lightning crowded around the group. "Heheheeh....hahaha...AHAHAHHAH!!!" The last laugh came out in a squeak, then her hands came behind her back, pushing herself to and fro in a sway, stopping with her toes off the ground, tilting her head with a smile. "Pleasure to meet you!"

Baaa

The world was as it had been previously, not a person in sight on the beach. It was only those four,

"Wait.... did that actually just happen?" Lorelai thought aloud to herself.

"Now now now!" Phoenica removed her hand from Rick's grasp, raising it daintily like a private school girl. "Would anyone else like to shake the hand of friendship?" She asked, waving her hand robotically.

Giovanni and Lori quickly stepped back, trying to maintain a safe distance from Rick in case Phoenica had cursed him.

"R...rick?" Lori uttered in discomforted fear. "You uh... you okay there, buddy?"

"I... feel... AMAZING!!!" Rick jumped up, running around, kicking and squealing like a kid who had just gotten the latest gaming console, stopping dead in his tracks beside Phoeinca.

"After all, I had gained a new friend! Phoenica Fleecity!"

Phoenica nodded to confirm that they were indeed friends "Indeed! We are the friendy-ist of friends! Bound by the soul! Soul-MATES, if you will!"

"HA!" Rick barked, throwing his head back with his hands on his waist, tilting his head back down. "Friendshaped AND hilarious! Its a two in one deal!"

Giovanni scrunched his face. "Kid, work on your phrasing"

Phoenica tilted her head sideways like a puppy who you had just told was bad, but didn't understand why. "Huh?" she gasped. "Ohhhh! No! no no no no! Nothing at ALL Like what you're thinking! He's like, fourty anyways!" She waved off whatever thoughts we were thinking, Rick felt as though he actually got stabbed with the shadow arrows this time, falling to his knees again, pressing his hands into the sand.

She clasps her hands, gleefully turning to Rick "Well then, I suppose since we *are* friends, I can tell you my secret!" She turned back to face the others "My Epithet is... Soulmates! Meaning, I keep all my mates, or, friends, as is most commonly said riiiiiiiiiight here!"

She points to the right side of her chest, the wrong one. Giovanni raised an eyebrow.

"Your chest?"

"Oh no no no!" Phoenica shook her head "My heart!"

"Your hearts on the other side"

"Oh!" Phoenica looked down, realizing her mistake before quickly fixing it. "They're kept right here!"

"So, what? Is Rick like...in a friendship cage or something?"

"Nnnnnnope! Just means that I can do, what HE can do! Observe!"

She skipped eagerly over to Rick, bending towards him. "Mister Rick Shades, what can you do?"

Rick pondered over it before Lorelai dragged him back towards herself and Giovanni quickly before he could stupidly get himself caught in a situation nobody wanted to deal with.

"Rick, don't. Y'know all those Ztreet Zmartz for Kidz videos they showed us? I think NOW is as good a time as any to start puttin' em to use"

"What is a Ztreet Zmartz?" Rick batted his eyes

Lori groaned, oh right, Rick was homeschooled half his life. "Basically safety PSAS warning us about strangers."

"Ohhh!" Rick's eyes widened at the realization, falling closed in laughter as he shook his head, opening them back up. "But Phoenica is no stranger! She is my new friend!"

"YES INDEED I AM A FRIEND!!!!" Phoenica screamed. "YOU CAN TRUST ME!!!! I AM INCREDIBLY TRUSTWORTHY!!!!!!!"

"Don't worry! I believe you!" Rick shouted back, worming his way out of Lorelai's hands, Lori couldn't help but face palm at his stupidity as he paced around, trying to discover what he was best at.

"I'm quite good at school work! The best, even! Dispite being homeschooled for so long! I'm great at it!"

Phoenica laughed along with Rick's claims, she had no idea what schoolwork was, but she didn't want her newest buddy chum chum pal friend buddy chum chum chum pal to think she was uncool. Rick shimmied his bookbag off of himself, grabbing out last nights homework, holding it up dramatically like Macbeth would a skull. "BEHOLD!!!! THE DREADED ALGEBRA II!!!" he bellowed, passing it to Phoenica. He had also handed her a pencil, "Here! You try!"

Phoenica nodded, scribbling a few nonsense numbers as if she were on auto pilot, giggling the whole time like a gremlin being fed after midnight. She soon finished, passing it back to Rick with a smile. "Done!"

Rick took the paper, and Phoenica began her monolouge.

"Now you see! That challenge for Hi....skewl...ers.... would've proven too much! But, with the power of Soulmates, friendship, and MAGIC! I got it done in a matter of seconds!" She clapped "Thank you Rick for bestowing your mathly knowledge onto me!"

Rick gasped dramatically, gripping the paper. "You- you used my knowledge to do this! Thats- thats CHEATING!" he stood up, pointing a finger. "You're a cheater cheater pumpkin eater! I cannot be friends with a girl who PUMPKIN EATS!"

Phoenica gasped, a tear starting to fall. The sky tore open again as the arrows reversed out of their hearts, reverting back into sheep that scuttled back into the sky. "NOOOOOOO!!!!" Phoenica wailed, burying her shameful cheating cheating pumpkin eating face into her hands. "MY KNOWLEDGE!!!! WAHHHHHH!!!"

A kitchen timer went off in Giovanni's head, causing him to laugh "Wait? Your- Your weakness is people- NOT being friends with you?! Hah... huh ha... huh HAHAHAHAHAHA!! OH MY GOD THATS RICH!!! HAHAHAH!!! WHAT A DORK!!! HAH!"

Lorelai harshly jabbed his arm with her elbow, making him yell out an "OWWWW!!". Lorelai couldn't help but roll her eyes, Phoenica whimpered as she stared at her now wet hands.

"Is this why all my previous friends had stopped friending?! Is it because I am a... pumpkin eater?! Why didnt anyone TELL me! I would've stopped eating pumpkins right away!! Now everyone's ignoring me!!!" She sobbed heavily, falling to her knees.

Rick couldn't help but feel bad, coming to her side and wrapping an arm around her, he was crying to.

"Oh, Phoenica! I am SO terribly sorry! It just..." He sniffled "I HATE cheaters, you know? They grind my gears so hard that I can't think! But... if you vow to never use your knowledge for cheating... I would be honored to call you friend!"

Phoenica gasped, wrapping both arms around Rick and squeezing him as tight as she could. "Rick!!!!! My dearest surface friend! I pinky winky promise to never EVER cheat again! If I break this promise then..." she whiped her eyes, looking into his with complete sincerity. "You have all the right to break my pinky!"

Rick looked touched, starting to regain his smile "Phoenica..." he fully accepted her hug. "That is all my heart ever wanted to hear!"

The sky ripped apart like paper, the sheeps returning, forming one big arrow that pierced through them both. Phoenica shot up, deciding that her crying time was over!

"Nooooow! Have you two changed your minds???? Would you still like to be friends?!?!?!? Please??? Pretty please???"

"Uhhh.. yeah no I'm good." Giovanni steps back

Lorelai also steps back, "Me too, sorry kid."

Phoenica looked absolutely heartbroken, before shaking her head. "Uhh... well... what about the winny thingy?

"Winny thingy?" Giovanni asked

"Win! Winner! Wining! Something something something you win! That's what you guys were saying when I woke up! What is the game? What is there to win? CAN I even win? Oh, I bet I could win anything and everything ever! Please please please let me win something! Then we can all be friends and skip along with the sheep in the clouds!" Phoenica begged desperately, clasping her hands together.

Lorelai raised a brow. "You sound kinda desperate."

"I AM!!! Thank you for noticing!"

"That... isn't a complement..."

"Oh! Then UN-Thank you for noticing!"

Gears shifted in Giovanni's head as she tried to figure out what this silly little bell ridden girl was talking about, then it hit him, like a homerun at a big league baseball game.

"Ohhhh! You mean the prizes!" Giovanni snapped a finger, grinning excitedly "We were taking a buncha these jelly fish an' throwin' em back in the sea! Whoever finds the most, throws em back in the ocean without gettin' stung wins! Oh! An' if you find a cool thing WITHOUT a metal detector, you get extra points! Whoever's got the most points gets a little treat!"

Not even a moment after the words escaped Giovanni's lips, Phoenica was running around the beach. She tossed jellyfish after jellyfish back into the sea, occasionally getting stung. She would sometimes find a trinket only SHE thought was cool and stuff it into the pockets of her worn out dress. She soon came back to the trio, huffing wildly like a runner who had just crossed the finish line last in a marathon.

"I've tossed 164 jelly fish back, got stung 35 times and found 52 cool trinkets!"

Phoenica took what was in her pockets out of them, what she collected was mostly shells, seaweed, and coins. She put them back in her pockets with puppy eyes.

"Does that mean I get a treat now? I'm afraid I haven't eaten in days!"

"DAYS?!?!?!" The trio shouted with concern, all starting to scrounge through their stuff, except for Rick who was running around and screaming in a panic.

To no avail, all Giovanni had was an old empty thermos of Soup. It was stained from the time he tried to mix a bunch of Soups together with smoothie logic. Spoiler, it didn't taste good and he threw up afterwards.

Lorelai took out the lip balm she had recieved, Phoenica's eyes locked on it.

"Whats that? Is that the treat? Can I have it? Can I? Can I?"

"Uhhhh...." Lorelai looked down at the lip balm, extending it out. "This is a lip balm..."

"Haha! Wowie! Never mind then! Don't want to explode! Haha! Ha! Ha!" Phoenica was sweating again.

Lorelai shook her head, "No no no no" she unscrewed the cap to show her, speaking slowly like you would an alien in a movie. "Baaaaalm.... Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalm, with an LLLLLLL. Its like, lip stuff you put on your lips"

"Wow! Smells yummy! Thank you!" Phoenica knelt down, chomping down on the balm. Regret set in for her immediately as she coughed, it shot down her throat in seconds. "MMMM!!!! BADDDDD!!!!" she cried.

"NO NO NO NO NO DO NOT SWALLOW THAT!!!" Giovanni butted in, grabbing Phoenica by the shoulders, tears streamed down her face quickly. "Too late!!!! ITS ALREADY IN MY TUMMY!!!!"

"NOOOOOO!!!!" Rick dramatically fainted like a goat, clutching the sand like a blanket. "My friend is going to die..."

"IM GOING TO DIE?!?!" Phoenica gasped.

"No! No! Nobody is going to DIE!" Lorelai tried to reassure, but it was hard with a child and someone who was nearly an adult crying in unison. Giovanni started to panic and rummage through Rick's backpack for literally ANYTHING to drink. All he found was an old potion he had given him.

"Is... is that a drink?" Phoenica asked meekly "I haven't drunken anything in days! Well... besides Salt Water! Oh goodness! I believe it *is* the end!"

"DO NOT SAY SUCH DRIVEL, PHOENICA!" Rick shouted.

"Rick, others, we are friends...correct?" Phoenica strained sadly, like a sick kid on a TV show.

"Uhhh... pretty sure?" Lorelai hesitated

"Please.... do not let me die."

Phoenica ragdolled onto the sand, panic began setting in for the trio as they scrambled like headless chickens trying not to squawk in fear.

...

Hope you enjoy!!! :D

[starryqueen-18]

This is Oliver, Olivia's Older and serious brother, he's sorta the king around here, well only in his world, Oliver is the opposite of his sister, while Olivia is pure and kind to others, Oliver is rather silent, he usually locked himself away in his room in his own kingdom for a long time. You can see Oliver's epithet is that he can Fold things into origami and it's not only just objects and people, he can also fold reality which is like Augment but in origami, Oliver can make his folded worlds of his interest. Oliver's animal is Lion like as in King and royalty, anyway, he and his sister don't seem to talk much, he sometimes try to convince his sister to become royal just like him but Olivia doesn't like being all fancy and telling everyone what to do like a mean tyrant so she rejects it and prefer being her. Oliver gets disappointed of her choice and as mention before, he used to help the craftsman with the shop for a long time but due to a certain event he stopped and prefer to be away in his folded world he made.

I forgot to give Olivia Epithet Erased style eyes, oof! well anyway I hope you guys enjoy this handsomely royal emo boi and stay safe and kawaiii!

Bye :3

[jamsofdeath0]

Lorelei's epithet is fascinating. "Augment"

Define: Make something greater by adding to it; increase

We primarily see her "augment reality". Specifically inside a bubble. Of which we're told "is not real". The food does not fill; it's creatures are no more than Lorelei's imagination come to life. For all intensive purposes her bubbles are no more than magically enhanced LARPing. A REAL good game of pretend.

And yet she does not NEED these bubbles. Her "Gargoyle Potion" works outside of it. Unlike the other transformation VINCENT MURDER transformed outside the bubble and stayed like that in both worlds. Molly claims she used to use her epithet more outside her worlds before. If it works outside is it real? Is he actually a Gargoyle now? He flew inside the bubble. Can he fly outside of it? What qualifies as "real"?

What else can she "make better"? Tools? Furniture? Foods that already exist? Cows? PEOPLE?

Yes, she can augment people. She augmented Giovanni outside the bubble. And EVERYONE ELSE inside. But how much can she "augment" then. What CAN she change? Body's? Yes. Minds? Hmm.

What is her limit? How real is her change? Does it matter if it's "real"?

[detri-by-vita]

epithet erased kids show au

what if epithet erased was a cartoon network show for little kids about superheroes

my pitch: sweet jazz city is a city of crime and a team of local superheroes called the banzai blasters stop bad guys from stealing stuff one 13-minute episode at a time

it’s out there but like hear me out. instead of being criminals bc it’s a kids show all of the protagonists would be superheroes. molly and giovanni would lead a team of heroes with sylvie, phoenica, trixie, and rick. it would be in small 13 minute episodes with very simple, toned down plots based off of each book. you could probably view each episode in any order with the overarching plot that the banzai blasters have to keep the arsene amulet safe from bad guys.

museum arc could be a chase to beat mera and indus to the arsene amulet and could be the backstory episode for the team. western arc has the team working together with percy and ramsey to take down zora with teamwork morals. prison of plastic is just prison of plastic with lorelai who is just a bully in this au bc it’s just a kids show, teach bullying is bad and all that. horizontal pilot command from what is revealed so far could be about how to succeed the team needs to trust eachother, yada yada…

other stuff: naven and yoomtah are this universe’s version of jessie and james from pokémon. bliss ocean, and pretty much everyone is less of a threat and more complicated epithets like lorelai’s “augment” would be toned down to words like “create”. rick, sylvie, naven, yoomtah and giovanni would probably around molly’s age so they could all be classmates or whatever. the cartoon would probably have an art style similar to fairly odd parents/powerpuff girls/total drama island.

thank you for listening to my stupid little ramble about this, maybe i’ll make art for this silly au.

[cameforexactlyonereason]

Here is an AU if you okay with that kind of thing:

Lorelai has a completely different trauma response to Calliope death (or maybe Martian died in this au and that causes the change, not sure) in which instead of closing herself in her fantasy worlds and alienating her sister, she becomes hyper focuses of making sure what's left of her family is provided for, taking almost all the work load in the store and the house, and even getting extra side jobs. This extend to using her epithet for augmented reality less and more for augmenting her psysical abilities so she can work more.

She also becomes borderline obsessed with making sure Molly is never in any danger, smothering her with overprotection, always wanting to know and control where she goes, what she does and who she hang out with, for her own safety (and so she never have to lose her family ever).

That is honestly the only other reasonable option Lori can go for

She goes from abuser to a controlling overprotective hard worker

Which is a lot better honestly

@philosophilia @lorelaibackerblyndeff

[neotriobrainrot-reborn]

I had this idea for an AU where people epithets had like, a spiritual form and they can talk to their inscribed (based on the spirits of the comic paranatural), here are some ideas:

Molly "Dumb": It is a big bear (obviously) but more in shape that in substance, it's body seem to be made of the same energy Molly makes, rippling and pulsing slowly and quietly, touching it is barely different to touching air. Doesn't talk much but it's always to conform Molly in silence.

Lorelai "Augment": The base form of this one is that of a featureless mannequin type figure but with chaotic and ever shifting color patterns over it's body, but it is always changing its form and surroundings either for fun or to add emphasis to whatever it is saying. Only want Lori to be happy but think the best way to do it is to never stop playing with her. Been felling she resenting them lately.

Giovanni "Soup": At first glance this one look like a giant water golem made of scalding hot broth but this is merely a little disguise for the sake of showmanship, it's true form is lower, a little turtle with a pot instead of shell from which the golem pour up. (It also have a chef hat). Adores it's inscribed and support him in all of his "evil" endeavors.

Zora "Sundial": Take the form of a giant Falcon with intense bright eyes with the same markings Zora have, and a sundial looking pattern in its pupils. It is constantly advancing and reversing it's life stages from a golden egg to it's decrepit death bed but this doesn't changes it's mind one bit and seen to cause him any pain. Like to sound wise but it's actually pretty quick to anger and he and Zora hasn't been on the best terms.

Rick "Soulmates": Takes the form of a giant beating black heart with a single white eye at it's center, spawning from her are the strings connecting Rick to his friends. Surprisingly kind, tries to advise Rick on how to make friends better but she is just as bad as him.

Percy "Paraphet": A giant knight made entirely of pieces of a castle, but it's been trying to add mode modern looking details lately. Very chivalrous and passionate but unlike Percy, it's very loud and expressive all the time.

And that's all I have! Tell if you like it.

This looks really good! I like how much details you added to everything, such as Giovanni's summon being more bark than bite, Rick having a literal extra heart, and Zora's summon constantly shifting from stages of an egg!

[tanadrin]

Ecology of Sogant Raha I: cytic and acytic life

The Ammas Echor took more than twenty years to decelerate from interstellar velocities as it approached the star Kdjemmu, in that time making multiple highly elliptical orbits, first of the star itself and then of the fifth planet, its destination. Sogant was the original name for this planet; the augmented form, Sogant Raha, added a religious epithet, connoting the “long-awaited world.”

The Ammas Echor settled into its final orbit in the 318th millennium of the Exile; because its people were just emerging from the long star-journeying interphase of their civilization, their shipbuilding capacity had atrophied, and developing the ability to construct a craft capable of maneuvering to the surface and returning again was a significant technological feat. The possibility of beginning with one-way journeys was contentious, due to lack of information on the perils that might await the colonists, and a desire to protect the native biosphere. The goal was careful exploration first, with colonization to follow only as safety from possible pathogens or hostile native organisms could be assured.

Orbital surveys revealed a great deal anyway; the planet was about sixty percent ocean, with warm, shallow seas; tectonically active; temperate, with minimal axial tilt and no significant permanent ice cover. Coastal features and color changes in the ocean indicated a rich aqueous ecology; the land was slightly more barren, being covered principally in low plantlike growths, akin to grasses, shrubs, and mosses, but only small patches of tall woody organisms, and few large animals. Analysis of the ecology indicated the possibility that the planet was still recovering from a mass extinction that had occurred within the last few million years, and many land-based ecological niches remained unfilled. Despite this recent catastrophe, scientists were impressed by the sophistication of the native environment: native flora regulated erosion, growth patterns seemed evolved to channel and control wildfires when they broke out, and dense mats of funguslike heterotrophs timed their fruiting phases together, giving off enough chemical heat to subtly affect weather patterns and help distribute their spores.

When settlement of the surface could finally begin in earnest, biologists noted several additional interesting facts. First, there was a great cleavage in the realms of life on Sogant Raha, one akin to the archaea-bacteria-eukaryota split on Earth, but far deeper, to the extent that a single last universal common ancestor could scarcely be imagined (though the other possibility, a world with two episodes of abiogenesis, seemed equally implausible). Each realm used substantially different genetic molecules, had very different protein assembly methods, and one, the acytes, seemed to lack any kind of cellular structure at all, not even the multinucleate cells of some of the more unusual single-celled endobiota. The cytic lineage included all macroscopic lifeforms, but the acytic lineage had a strong penchant for symbiosis, being found on, in, and even within the cells of, just about every cytic clade on the planet.

Some of these acytic organisms seemed to affect gene expression in complicated ways. Biochemists found that certain signaling compounds could induce programmed death in acytes, leaving their cytic hosts intact, and while this was fatal to many species of cytic life, others survived handily--albeit with their physical morphology and even behavior radically changed. Long-stemmed willowy grasses became small, mosslike plants; soil-dwelling grubs became thin, swift flying creatures. Burrowers that abandoned their eggs became swarmers that nurtured their young; thorny stalks that bore deadly poison became round, sweet-tasting fruit.

Moreover, the acytes interacted with each other in complex ways; they sometimes came together to form larger, more complex structures and networks, exchanging chemical and electromagnetic signals in complex patterns that spread unpredictably.

On our expedition to the deserts of the southern hemisphere, we witnessed a marvelous phenomenon at dusk: a great wind sped over the plain, kicking up dust and dirt, and gathering up the microorganisms that lived in the topsoil. As it moved toward us, our electromagnetic sensors pricked up; they were signaling to each other more rapidly now, their cries free to move further in the cloudy air than they had been in the solid dirt. As they did, they strayed into the visible part of the electromagnetic spectrum, and the whole wall of dust was suddenly aglow, shimmering against the dark sky. Soon the dust enveloped our camp, and everything around us vanished; but still as the evening wore on, and we pressed our masks tightly to our face, we caught flashes of light in the churning wind around us.

--Botanist’s report, fifth year of colonization

By far the most diverse of the cytic lineages was one the scientists termed Nexus, after both its microscopic structure and its behavior. Nexus acytes shared nearly their entire genome with one another, but appeared in a dizzying array of forms: within three years of colonization, over a thousand species had been identified. Unlike other acytes, Nexus did not seem to directly affect gene expression. It was hardier than its cousins, and surprisingly infectious. For the most part, Sogantine biology was only partly compatible with humans--there were no common pathogens, despite early fears, and though they shared mostly the same amino acids and incidental mineral nutrients, the endobiota could make no use of the native carbohydrate analogues, which were simply excreted. But Nexus spread quickly to endobiota, including humans, adapting to use glucose as an energy source; more worryingly, within fifteen years it began to show up in spinal fluid and nervous tissue. Only a year after that it was found within the human cell for the first time, though still to no apparent ill effect.

This seemed to the colonists a fine price to pay for their new home, no worse than any of the other symbiotic relationships which the human body was involved in. A few desultory experiments were performed in attempting to inoculate the human body against Nexus, but the acytotoxic compounds proved dangerous to human cells, and Nexus proved resilient against low doses. Most of the scientists and biologists of the people of Ammas Echor then turned to the task of resurrecting the thousands of Terran species of the Great Record, and of finding a way to integrate terrestrial organisms into the native biosphere so that agriculture could begin again.

In this time also, the colonists began to consider the fate of the other Exiles who wandered in distant volumes of space. Though they knew there was little hope that all humanity might once again be gathered under the same sun, they longed to call to those who might be relatively nearby, to let them know of Paradise. They began to work on a beacon of sorts, a massive signalling apparatus which could call out to the stars, if anyone was there to listen. The center of this project was a great radio array and a power source; and the engineers who worked on its design were intrigued by the possibility of using the acytes and Nexus in particular as part of its design, thinking that they might be able to use them to manipulate the planet’s magnetic field, and induce a modulation in the solar wind that passed over it would stand out to any telescope that strayed over Kdjemmu. The signal would be subtle, but it would not require overwhelming the blazing light of the star itself; and the telescopes of the Exile were accustomed to detailed observations of stars for many years at a time, seeking the signature of planets to settle amid the noise of normal stellar variability. While most scientists turned to other questions, investigations of Nexus did continue on a smaller scale, albeit along these more utilitarian lines.

There was one exception: a man named Kaituro, which was Warden in his ancestors’ tongue. By the time Kaituro began his career as a scientist within the Archive, the spacefaring era was a quickly-fading memory. Though still split between the Ammas Echor and the surface, the human population was thriving, and confident that its future was bright on this new world. Kaituro focused his work on the acytes, and on Nexus in particular, fascinated by this mysterious chimera. He soon observed that the relationship between Nexus and the human cell--indeed, the cells of all endobiota--was changing. Nexus had started to integrate itself into the envelope of the nucleus, and forming new organelle-like structures of uncertain purpose. In some nonhuman endobiota, treating samples with acytotoxic compounds made cells sluggish and weak, though Kaituro’s colleagues simply attributed this to their inherent toxicity.

Kaituro remained uneasy about this quiet visitor, concerned that some mutation or external signal might cause unanticipated illness. But in his heart he was conflicted: he was a man of the old faith, which had been born in the most ancient days of the Exile, before the eldest of his forefathers had come to the star called Rauk; and he believed ardently in the promise of Paradise, and that on this long-awaited world humanity could at last be reborn, and cleansed of the legacy of its sins.

But eventually, to his horror, his misgivings were proven correct: a disease struck the colonists, appearing at first among the elderly, who had had Nexus in their bloodstream longest. When no bacterium, virus, or prion could be found, Kaituro’s colleagues reluctantly began to entertain his hypothesis that Nexus was responsible. Search for a treatment began, but few promising leads were found outside of an intensive investigation of the signaling mechanisms and metabolic pathways of Nexus itself, a slow and laborious process.

Only a few years after this disease appeared, the age of onset was creeping downward; new symptoms also began to show themselves. The most severely affected began experiencing personality changes, chronic pain, and confusion. Some became forgetful, losing time, or recalling events no one else could remember. Careful study excluded all other possible pathogens, and Kaituro became the center of a frenzied research project.

But as their work progressed, Kaituro’s spirits sank. Nexus was frighteningly adaptable, and entirely ignored by the human immune system. Worse, of all the acytes its biology was closest to humans; any drug which was effective against it was invariably highly toxic to humans as well.

Nexus was found aboard Ammas Echor now as well; there, far from the native biosphere, it seemed quiescent for the most part. But a breakthrough occured when one of the most severely afflicted patients was taken to the ship for a round of experimental treatment; despite being thoroughly quarantined, soon after her arrival symptoms which were found only on the planet below, and not in her or anyone aboard the ship, began spreading on Ammas Echor itself. Nexus was perhaps mutating, but it was also communicating its mutation, and doing so rapidly, over improbably long distances for a microorganism.

As the symptoms of the disease worsened in the population, Kaituro’s understanding did improve. After a while, new cognitive symptoms appeared: increasingly disordered language, delusions, hallucinations, and nightmares. A child, otherwise perfectly healthy, awoke with a memory of a long life spent in a village by the sea, among different family and friends, whose eyes were all pearl-white. An astronomer looked up one evening to find his memory of the stars was wrong; when he tried to reconstruct them as he knew them, he found that according to their proper motion, the sky he remembered was more than two million years old. An elderly woman lapsed into aphasia, speaking a tongue no one in the colony understood, and found nowhere among the Archive’s records. Kaituro was overcome with the sense that Nexus was not a simple opportunistic infection, but that it was learning how to alter human thought and memory as well.

But when he broached this theory carefully to a few colleagues, they were skeptical; even the planetary ecologists, who had a deep sense of the rhythms and patterns of life on Sogant Raha found the idea that human thought was being mirrored in the signalling mechanisms of the native life difficult to swallow. And Kaituro might have abandoned his hypothesis, if he did not learn soon after that his sister, Sunjat, was among those afflicted with this disease; and that all signs indicated she would die very soon.

Kaituro devised a radical plan. Some of the metabolic levers of Nexus had been identified; he himself had worked out much of the electrochemical signaling system that regulated its activity. He sealed himself in an isolation chamber to prevent interference, with a prepared cocktail of chemicals designed to stimulate Nexus’s activity, and a small BCI of his own design, which could operate at the same low power and variable frequencies as the Nexus, and transfer signals between it and his nervous system. His goal was ambitious, but if his hypotheses were correct, not unreasonable: to try to master the Nexus through direct interface. He placed the implant under the skin of his arm, then administered the drugs; nothing seemed to happen for a long time. He glanced down at the floor of the lab, and furrowed his brow. Something seemed off. He found it difficult to remember; had it always been a black void, filled with stars?

[part II]

[strawberry-link]

So did Lorelai kidnap anyone for Princess of Plastic?

More like she accidentally made herself her own hostage (lol)!

Augment is a pretty powerful epithet especially when the user’s mind is free to roam wild! Drowsy is also a powerful epithet and sometimes sheep buddies play one dangerous game of freeze tag!

Also keep in mind Good Blyndeff Lorelai is a heavy sleeper and can sometimes sleep up to 14 hours (inspired by actual bunnies XD)

[ox1-lovesick]

"i had nothing to do with it" ofc u didn't 💀 girl stop lying lmao it's funny how you claim to be over it yet you and ur moots have so much to say everytime someone brings it up. stop being a bitch and talking shit about melli to ur moots. it's pathetic.

Retsu Unohana (卯ノ花 烈, Unohana Retsu), formerly known as Yachiru Unohana (卯ノ花 八千流, Unohana Yachiru), aka my wife, was the former captain of the Fourth Division in the Gotei 13. She was one of the oldest and most experienced captains, and was Soul Society's best healer, as well as the first person to wield the name "Kenpachi".[3] Her lieutenant was Isane Kotetsu. She also formerly served as the Captain of the 11th Division. After she was cast into Hell, Unohana gained the epithet of "Death Sword" (死剣, Shiken).[4]

Unohana has the appearance of a slender and very youthful woman with blue eyes and black hair. She wears the standard Shinigami captain uniform apart from using an obi instead of the normal sash, which hides her well-endowed bosom. Her hair is long and is always worn as a large braid down the front of her body. Over 100 years ago, she did not have the large braid, instead styling in front of her as a loose ponytail. While maintaining a kind and gentle look at most times, during her battle with Kenpachi Zaraki, her eyes appear gloomy and menacing. She also wears her hair down for the first time and is revealed to have been covering a notable scar in-between her collarbone, inflicted by Kenpachi when the latter was young.[5] Until some time after she fought Yhwach, she did not tie her hair in front of her, instead wearing it down at all times.[1][6]

Unlike most Shinigami who carry their Zanpakutō in their sash, Unohana has a large string attached to the sheath of her Zanpakutō and carries it over her shoulder, or has her lieutenant, Isane Kotetsu, carry it for her whenever they are together on the battlefield.[7]

Unohana has a gentle and warm personality that augments her appearance. Unohana is a soft-spoken, polite, and caring woman who uses honorifics when addressing everyone, including her subordinates and the enemy. She rarely shows any signs of panic or distress, and has a great sense of duty, shown in the times that she orders Hanatarō Yamada’s imprisonment and Isane Kotetsu’s chasing of Renji Abarai when he runs away with Rukia Kuchiki. Despite her sense of duty, she will also heal almost anybody around her, including Renji after he was defeated by his captain, Gantenbainne Mosqueda when she arrived in Hueco Mundo, and the Visored, referring to them as allies despite Shinji Hirako's reluctance to do so. With her grace and kind manners, she lets others know quietly that while she may be soft, she is not to be taken lightly. Despite her gentle nature, several members of the Eleventh Division[8] and even her fellow Captains fear her.[9]

However, after the revelation of her past as the first Kenpachi and Shunsui Kyōraku calling on her to draw on her experience from then, Unohana's personality reverts to her original violent and bloodthirsty nature; once she meets with Kenpachi Zaraki, she comments how the scar left on her chest was causing her pain just from the sound of his voice.[10] Unohana herself says that she is infatuated with crossing blades,[11] and firmly believes in taking any actions necessary — even sleight of hands such as hidden daggers — to get ahead in battle.[12][13]

Unohana likes strong-flavored food, preferring it to bland tasting dishes. In her free time, she climbs mountains throughout Rukongai; during these excursions, she collects medicinal herbs. Once a month, she holds an ikebana class for the members of her division[14] and she is also the President of the Ikebana Club.

[theharedan]

Hey Lorelai, I had an idea to help around the shop with your epithet whilst still having fun! And it may help bring in alot more money to support you guys as well. Ever think of augmenting things outside the bubbles? You could make a mannequin like augments to run the cash registers and restock and stuff! They could also probably do the dishes too!

I-

That… that actually could work. I mean, I’ve augmented some stuff outside of my bubbles before, usually when I’m sleeping, but using it for practical stuff- that could help clear up some of our shifts!

If I augment some workers during Molly’s shifts, we would have time to play! And during mine, so I could build worlds for us. Might confuse dad… but hey, he’s usually making toys or sleeping during our shifts anyway. He probably wouldn’t think twice.

And the customers usually handle themselves anyway. As long as someone is there to ring up toys they don’t need to talk to anyone-

I can’t believe I’ve never thought of this! It would just take a bit of focus to keep them running while I’m away, but hey I’ve gotten pretty good at not letting my epithet get out of control- right?

…

Hm.

I’ll have to test it out while I’m on shift tonight.

[epithetsmp]

if you had to switch around everyones starting epithets who would get what (and optionally, why?)

[CONSOLE]: FATE WAS IN THE HAND OF THE BEGINNING EPITHETS, NOT MY HAND. FATE IS NEVER WRONG.

HOWEVER, TO HUMOR YOU, PLAYER;

NURTURE - SHULES

TRAVERSE - RUBY

VALOR - JENNY

MYSTIC - INKWELL

DISCORD - LABYRINTH

CONNECT - SERISSE

AUGMENT - REED

SIPHON - GHOST

[thebookieper]

Counter: Fury's Lash

Name: Unknown

Alias: Counter (Vindi to her friends)

Epithet: Disciple of Wrath

Age: 33

Gender: Female

Occupation: Bounty Hunter

Motivation: Red, White (Zealous Justice)

Philosophy: Pragmatic ideals yet more hedonistic in practice

Class: Ranger

Role: Control

Eyes: Crimson

Hair: Brunnete, shoulder length, tied back to keep out of eyes with a few stray bangs for flair

Height: 6'3"

Weight: 133 Pounds

Appearance: Standard cowboy dress with hat, poncho that hides bat wings possibly cybernetic definitely augmented, in black and red with hints of gold.

Personality: Rather sociable and knows how to contain her endless bloodlust for the long con

Background: Was friends with victims of assault, turned on her assailant leading to bloody death with many more to follow.

Skills: Hunting, tracking, stealth,

Strengths: Relentlessness

Weaknesses: Hubris, Distractable

Likes: Justice, Scare tactics, Theatrics, Glory

Dislikes: Willful corruption, blind ideals, things not staying where they are put

Notable Items: Strand of the Enryies

Hobbies: Torture, Pranks, Guitar, Piano

Summery: A bounty hunter with the classic western flair with her signature whip and bat wings who seems more intent on punishing the truly reviled in society. She stakes out her quarries meticulously as to induce the complete helplessness that their poor victims experienced. She lives for the hunt and inducing, dread, horror, and terror in the lowest of the low, yes she definitely knows the difference and will certainly make sure you know the difference (Through meticulous if tangential explanation rather than performance if you've done nothing worthy of her scorn). After stalking her victims for weeks (she usually juggles multiple in the area as to give time to stew them in paranoia) She descends upon them for the final chase, wings spread, moonlit silhouette. The crackle of her laughter punctuated with the crack of the whip. Though once again if you haven't fallen off the cliff of decency into the pit of heinous crimes she's rather affable even when under the pursuit of "Law" which she takes good care not to kill the good men just doing their jobs, though in downtime she takes great delight in harassing the corrupt. 

Quotes:

"Some think you deserve death, me? I say it's butchering the cow long before it's gone dry."

"Somewhere out there there's a happy ending for ya, surrounded by loved ones and family, free from all the trouble, all the problems, all ya desires fulfilled to ya heart's content. But not here, not ever here, Instead you'll die slowly and surely, painfully and pitifully, filled with fear and frustration at your fate. Think of it as a free trial of hell where you forget to cancel it after a month so the payment goes through anyway. Least I could do for your victims, I mean Hell. for all I know you could be sent to some rancid shithole of a place where ya get all of your sick kicks in. It's cliché at this point but you're gonna be here for a long time, and you'll most certainly wish you weren't.

"Surprised ta see ya still alive? I love that trick, tells ya quite a bit 'bout a person in what comes out to face death, gives 'em quite the scare too. Shame that the effects don't hold up all too well with repeated usage, always at least a slight doubt of death after that. Oh well, suppose I'll just leave you wishin' for it instead, works well enough for me.

"An eye for an eye? How many eyes ya think the one rotten bastard's got? I mean are you serious? Not like sin's a liquid asset I can just write out a check for and have the IRS go after the rancid shitheel, no this is a one man operation, gotta get ya hands much more dirty than that… That's even dumber than the whole "dig two graves" spiel and not from the "Oh I'm gonna kill way more than two people" buffoonery, but for the simple fact that when purgin' the scum of the Earth from the Earth last thing you want is for them to be memorialize them within the Earth! As much as a fan of I am of the "buried alive" routine there's no sense in just leaving the 'em there. Not like I'm plantin' a dang tree… Like even tossing 'em out ta the birds cruel and vicious as they may be at least they provide a vital service. Sorta like me! Anyways this way with all they took in life they at least give something back ta nature… well that and whatever loose change they got on hand, and mind you a lot of loose change, granted plenty of it's illegal, like capital B black market stuff, immoral as well as illegal! Though I suppose the other spoils are ample enough… "

"Best part about hope is how easy it is to give, and when you yank it back, like teasing some mutt with a bone, not that I would condone animal cruelty, few things are as innocent as a being with only the basest instincts and yet still the capacity for love.