#atp i know i've created a version of bucky in my head that might not be all that accurate lmfao

[anomura]

i've already said this but i reeeeeeeally think john should be more tormented by internalized homophobia. like he's obviously less repressed than gale and to me has done/still does things with men but that doesn't mean he doesn't struggle with it. i mean he shows signs of being kinda miserable even before the stalag and i don't think he likes himself very much so being queer is just Another Thing on his list of reasons why he's not Good. i'd say he doesn't hate himself because of his queerness necessarily it's more of a Ah Yes of course. everything about me is wrong. figures this would be too.

i think the best way to put it is that he probably views his sexuality how he views his excessive drinking: not something to be proud of but he will keep doing it bc he's impulsive and it feels good in the moment. and then he'll beat himself up about it afterwards