#athina's ramblings

[athina39]

life update (?) lol

i haven’t been active in tumblr in ages, but i’ve been less active recently wwwwww i mentioned it on twitter, but i tested positive for covid a few days back and am currently on home quarantine ^^;;

i’ve been feeling better as the days go by, but i still would probably be late with responding to things!!!

hope everyone’s doing well and make sure to get your shots/boosters ^o^//

[percywinchester27]

Okay I'm done with editing the hard chapters. Yay. I'm on chapter 33 now. It's easy sailing for a bit after that. *Pats self on the back*

Can someone edit the rest of the ALLU for me? And also write the last chapter while you're at it 😅

[littleslice]

I wanted to try covertly drinking alone tonight but my stupid boyfriend made me sad and I'm too self aware and ik that if I drink while I'm sad AND alone I'll just be more sad so I'm skipping it and that makes me MORE sad but not as sad as I would be if I was drinking so I'm just gonna listen to lorde and watch anime and probably skip dinner bc I'm sad and have lost the motivation to move and feed myself

[deanssweetheart23]

@angreadsficsandauthors reblogged your post: Blue (Ain’t Your Color) and added:

We all need this great reminder on the not so good days. Excellent as always.

Yes, we absolutely do. And thank you so much. I don’t think you understand how much I appreciate your support (for a minute there I didn’t realize that’s your new blog lol). Thank you, amazing human being.

@holahellohialoha reblogged your post: Blue (Ain’t Your Color) and added:

dAAAAAAAAAAmn gIRRRRRRRRL

Your comments always make me laugh. I’m not kidding. You’re being so damn good to me, all the time and I love you. 

@kathaswings reblogged your post: Blue (Ain’t Your Color) and added:

The Greek Goddess is back! And as good as ever! Loved this, Athina! Especially when Dean isn’t picky… 😋 You’re such a talent. It’s there in every word, between the lines, in the ambiance - always. Even now, just woken up after quite a crappy night, your writing brightens me up and now I’m smiling and swooning over here - and apparently rambling. Darling, you did good and I love it, and I love you.

Lina, ohmygod. You. are. so. sweet. I’m sorry you had a crappy night, but I’m so glad I could help. On a side note: Dean not being picky is my favorite thing in the world, lol.

@masksandtruths reblogged your post: Blue (Ain’t Your Color) and added:

Perfect ❤

Thank you. You are perfect.

@thevioletthourr replied to your post: Blue (Ain’t Your Color):

The “Mrs. Winchester” part k i l l e d me!! Omg this was so beautiful and heartwarming. I’m so so so in love with this! Thank u so much for making my day better❤️

Thank you so much for letting me know I made your day better! And, yes, the Mrs. Winchester part killed me, too, haha.

@ultrafandomcat  replied to your post: Blue (Ain’t Your Color):

Ah, I really needed the fluff after a rough night. Thank you so much! Love me some Dean fluff ♥♥♥ Also, “Mrs Winchester”? GAHH YOU’RE KILLING ME

Aw, I’m hope you’re doing better now, love, because you absolutely deserve the best. Thank you for all the love you’ve shown me, you deserve a Dean in your life <3

@buckybarnesneedscuddles reblogged your post: Blue (Ain’t Your Color) and added:

How sweet is this?! I love happy, cuddly Dean 😍😍😍

I love happy, cuddly Dean, too. So much. Thank you for your kind words, darling. :)

[athina39]

i’m back!

to be honest, i've actually been back for a few weeks now, after taking a break from fandom due to IRL (my job, resigning from my job, health issues, etc) taking over. everything's fine now, more or less, with the only major change being i'm older and that i'm currently job-hunting.

i'm very, very grateful for the lovely messages checking up on me (i'll reply to y'all individually soon), but. hmm. one of the main reasons why i didn't "announce" my return is because each time i check my inbox, whether due to shitty luck or just simple bad timing, i find it being literally flooded with messages that i hope are mere trolling. there's been a number of asks about being disappointed in me for not updating (which, i can understand somehow, even though i also personally consider fanfic as a hobby vs an obligation). which is, okay. i'm grateful that you love my work enough to want an update and that you checked out my tumblr to message me.

what i'm not grateful of are the other types of messages - the ones telling me that they've heard that i've literally, actually died (which is, not cool). or the ones telling me that they're happy that i'm not in the fandom (soukoku, as they specified) anymore because my fics are so bad. or the ones telling me that they're going to publish rewrites/continuations of my fic without my consent because i'm not doing a good job of it anyway. or the ones telling me that i should stay away for good because i'm a tumor in the fandom. or those telling me i should learn better time management because i can't possibly be that busy (seriously???). or those telling me that i can't be busy because it's summer vacation and there's no school (again, seriously??? if you're flooding me with messages & hounding me for updates, is it too much to ask to do a little research? i've been a working adult for eight years now!). or the one telling me to credit a certain fic which i'm allegedly copying for the courtesan!chuuya/petrus-for-celebration/dazai-leaving-portmafia-to-save-chuuya plots (please check the publish dates of the fics - i'm being petty, but i'm 90% certain that my fic's the first one to use those hcs. i wrote them because i didn't see any fics with those elements at the time, for fuck's sake.)

i'm honestly not sure if those messages came from the same person, if it's trolling, if it's reverse psychology, if they want to enrage me into coming out of my break, if they're honest, but all i can say is - it's definitely not making me eager to be actively back. honestly, it made me so angry when i first read them.

anyway. so there's that. i'm sorry to the ones who have been very nice and lovely in their messages, because i know that it seems that i'm punishing you for what someone else has done, but. yeah. for the past couple of weeks, i figured that i didn't want to deal with anything so i could let my ill feelings pass. i'm not sure if anyone figured it out, but i've actually been slowly going back to the fandom by posting fics in anon, so i guess i still enjoy writing, just... i didn't want to look at the more unpleasant messages just yet.

so, i can't promise that i'll be very active right away or that i can reply to all the messages quickly, because i'm still looking for a new job, but i guess i'm back??

(oh and i guess pls look forward to my post tomorrow because i'll be posting my contribution(s) to soukoku week?)

[athina39]

gundam ibo rewatch for the orgamika, shinoyama, mcgae

at first i was gonna make an orgamika manifesto (a why ship orgamika?, type of thing) so i rewatched ibo, but then it devolved to just me flailing about and compiling all the orgamika per episode, then the tracing of how/when did mika/orga’s goals changed, then all the shinoyama, then mcgae, then galigali...

but i’m posting anyway, so i don’t forget to finish it eventually lol

this is part one, bec i’m only up to s1e19 as of now:

s1e1 - 1st scene is when mika, after killing someone, presumably for money based on orga's orders, asks what he needs to do next // next scene is mika waking orga up w/a smile, SMILING MIKAAAA // shino tries to discuss girls w/Mika, only to be shut down. also, they explicitly say that mika's not interested in girls // mika pinches eugene's ears off when eugene fights w/orga // orga talks w/ossan & tells him that he can't be seen as uncool, while ossan correctly guesses/adds "by mikazuki...?" - it's correct because orga smiles lol // during the fight, mika reacts when orga finally takes command // mika's dynamic entry has been timed / coordinated by orga // first mention of the "we'll go to somewhere not here, to someplace where we truly belong"

s1e2 mika learns that piloting barbatos can fry his brain, and he says it's ok bec he doesn't use it anyway // during their initial strategy meeting as to how to betray CGS, orga says that he forgot to call mika (is he assuming mika's already tailing him?!), tho he tells them that if mika is against his plan, then they won't push through. shino & eugene are confused, tho orga says that mika won't go against it anyway, because if orga shows his serious, mika will surely respond to him // when mika sees orga beaten up, he LAUGHS and calls orga an "iro otoko" pffft // mika also smiles when he quotes orga re: living instead of dwelling over comrades' deaths // when orga tells mika that there's a job he'd like him to do, mika agrees before orga's finished, taking the gun // when orga teases him that he doesn't even get the specs of the request, mika says he'll listen, but he'll do whatever it is anyway, if orga's already decided on it & orga thanks him for that //

s1e3 pretty domestic scene of orga & mika hanging out in the engine room, while mika eats his favorite; he offers one to orga, tho orga declines --- and they're apparently chilling just before they plan on killing off the CGS higher ups // mika acts as the bodyguard during their coup // when crank appears, orga simply calls out to mika and asks if he "can do it" while mika answers "sure", and everyone's confused, so orga clarifies that he asked mika to kill crank // mika tires of the discussion w/crank and just tells him that orga told him to kill him // mika smiles again when he says that 'tekkadan' (a name that orga decided for their new group w/o any input from others whatsoever, to eugene's annoyance) is a nice name

s1e4 mika shows disinterest in the talk about the future

s1e5 when atra asks them in public to be hired as the cook, mika doesn't react - orga has to prompt him (so i guess orga, like everyone, KNOWS that atra likes mika, while mika's more or less oblivious // also as a sidebit, yamagi asks shino if he likes girls (not if he likes girls *only*, mind) and shino says sure lol! //

s1e6 orga watching over mika & takaki & co learn how to write // and mika ofc reacting to orga's presence // orga & biscuit's convo about orga being so risky - to which orga replies that he feels that mika's eyes are always watching him & asking him as to what to do next & what kind of WAKUWAKU thing he's gonna do // and that he always wants to be the best and coolest in front of mika (cue biscuit's unimpressed look lol) // and we learn that mika was looking for orga // and then mika says that he prioritizes reading/writing so he can help w/mobile suit maintenance AND THEN reading books about farming // cute banter about being tired // orga says that while earth is far, they'll keep on moving forward AND THAT THEY'VE FOUND THEIR PLACE // mika says that orga's decided on it already // orga says that they'll make mika's dream come true //

s1e7 mika being so calculating lol // mika's watching orga as to how he'd react to naze & orga's watching mika back before he decides to do the crazy thing // when naze generously offers to take on tekkadan under his wing and have them work (separately), mika says that he doesn't want everyone to be separated - it's all orga needs to turn down the very reasonable offer // (also omg that shinoyama moment ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh)

s1e8 mika was... down? after not winning against lafter, but he does cheer up once he hears about orga's raid being successful, so // and mika does consider himself not doing a job well done, he's mopey on top of barbatos even when orga praises him // when orga tries to dissuade him from that thinking, mika still pushes on with the "i need to do better", orga relents and says that "he needs to be better too" // mika reveals that the reason he tries so hard is because he doesn't want orga to have a reason to ditch him - though orga says that there's no such thing as ditching when it comes to family (orga does get embarassed as he says this tho lol)

s1e9 during kudelia's moment of (in)decision re: her half-metal/mars independence movement, mika tells her that she HAS to decide, because her entire future will depend on her decision. this is a parallel to his decision to follow whatever orga decides on (he even says that this is a moment like the time he first killed someone - implied to be that one scene they keep on flashing back on). something noteworthy here is that mika says that it's a decision that must come from the person itself (which should shoot down any 'orga led mika to being his puppet' theories) // orga just looks on worriedly at orga getting carried away at the treats and at drinking // and then mika ends up just rubbing orga's back after he (presumably) throws up // and the way mika jolts after merribit intrudes lol and his reaction as merribit goes away // also, the translation is kinder - orga literally calls the handkerchief STINKING (not just smelling) like a woman // mika just stares at the drunk orga and says that it's the first time he's seen orga like this // but then mika SMILES when orga babbles that the reason he's so HAPPY is because he finally made a family for tekkadan // mika taking care of the drunk orga again - he's so worried about orga catching a cold, he even drapes his jacket on him; such a cute "taku" there too! // when mika and biscuit talk, mika asks if it's okay that he DIDN'T OPPOSE with the decision (that he didn't make, and not up to him to make) without asking orga // though the 99% of the time they were talking mika was looking at the sleeping orga and not biscuit, how rude // "thanks to orga's guts, we can continue to dream" // (also yamagi sulking after shino's night out lol and yamagi sulking even more when shino appears and is all sexed up) // mika, i caught that stare at orga's clothes // and mika being happy at sharing a kanji with orga;;;; - and thanks naze, for unsubtly pointing out that the kanji (that mika likes!) mika and orga's names share means "oneself" // naze foreshadows that orga should not lose this "self" in his character (so if he loses it, it's still w/mika, and vice-versa...) // after the ceremony, mika calls orga cool lol  and orga apologizes for worrying mika;;;; and mika smiles again at orga

s1e10 ossan teases mika about being sad as he's left behind, but mika just admits it lol // and the conversation between shino/eugene/orga... where orga says that he doesn't care for women (women are just fucking betsu ni for him lol), then as they squabble, orga says that he's fine w/the family he has with tekkadan

s1e11 not a lot of orgamika, as the episode focused mostly on akihiro's plot & the gaelio/mcgillis in the middle

s1e12 shino being a bro to akihiro (and mika being a badass by saying outright that he'll try to go easy on his opponent, but he'd kill them if he's in trouble)

s1e13 mika continuing not to mince words to shino // mika looking so unimpressed w/the funeral rites & he doesn't cry when everyone's crying // shino finding yamagi to thank him about the funeral flowers & then yamagi refusing shino's request to make the fireworks again when he dies (though he said it in such a tsundere way tho, just admit that you hate the idea of shino dying already) // also, mika just kisses kudelia after he says that she looks cute after trying to comfort him (hc that he does it so cleanly because he's practiced in doing that lol)

s1e14 mika just goes on as normal after that lol, poor kudelia's so confused // kudelia's side-eyeing mika, but mika's just staring ahead/at orga

s1e15 during the Dolt coup/kidnapping fiasco, orga first checks in on mika's condition instead of y'know, they're client, kudelia // mika being so overprotective of atra and biscuit (mostly atra bec she's the one who's tortured) // also, orga's dynamic entry doesn't surprise mika at all despite hte lack of planning, but biscuit's all surprised

s1e16 not much gay haha;;

s1e17 when they decide what to do re: escaping to the elevators, orga asks mika for the decision, which mika cycles back to "i'll do what you decide, but seeing them getting beaten isn't interesting" // when shino launches, yamagi gives him a video call (as opposed to orga previously just giving him a voice call) and tells him to take care, and shino replies/refers to the funeral flowers again and says that yamagi will not need to make those for him this time // also, when mika recognizes gaelio's voice, he just goes, "you're chocoman's..." lol // also, GALI GALI

s1e18 dat gaelio/ein moment - gaelio proving that he's BEST MAN //

s1e19 such pure gali gali omg // also SHINO trying to console eugene saying that if eugene fails, they'll just think it's good ol' stupid eugene and won't blame him for sending them to their deaths lol // also eugene character dev't!!! // tho shino just laughs at eugene's akogare for orga lol // also, gaelio reminiscing about the past & how carta fell in love at first sight for mcgillis // "the place they truly belong?" "what kind is that?" // amazing + plenty of food + beds, but orga tells him that they won't know what it is untilt hey see it // if i follow you, orga, i'll see lots of things i never have //

[athina39]

bsd 50 (?! lol)

mori: i want to form a team that reminds me of my relationship with fukuzawa

mori: *sees dazai & chuuya* pERFECT

mori: now i just need a properly pretentious ship name for them, a name that will cause fear amongst my enemies, a name that will be a battlecry for my ship, a name that will cause hatred amongst my ship's dissenters...

mori: *sees reports of dazai & chuuya fucking up an organization, while in black coats*

mori: how about i call them soukoku

mori: *spreads the name amongst the mafia, submits false reports to the police about a new mafia combi, sends advance notice to their enemies that soukoku is coming for them*

dazai/chuuya: wtf is soukoku

(or mori drove dazai out of the mafia because he wanted to recreate the morifuku dynamic of being on opposite sides, odasaku you died for mori's ship)

[athina39]

man, remember the days when:

• soukoku had less than 20 fics in ao3?

• bsd chapters were only translated until ch12 when there were 25+ chapters out already?

• when the trending question in the tag is ‘what is soukoku?’, followed by ‘who is chuuya?’

• when chuuya/soukoku merch was practically non-existent?

• when soukoku was considered a rarepair, esp in Eng fandom?

• when atsushi was the main character?

those were wild times yo

[athina39]

what's your current obsession?

hey there, anon-san!!! ♥

hmmm, i still am firmly stuck in soukoku hell, so that’s one??? :D

one other is hannibal tv (i’ve been obsessed with it w/ a long time, but somehow it’s much stronger now???).

non-fandom related would be calligraphy, because my sister’s into it and i’m just... enjoying the ride lol

[athina39]

hey thereare you still alive?? iirc this is just about the time for the break you take for your birthday? anyway hope you're ok! looking forward to updates of your fic (esp home is where...)! you made me fall to soukoku hell..

aaaah yes i'm still alive, barely??

tho first off - if you've noticed my trend, then you must have followed/known me for quite some time, so thank you!!!

& you're right, this is the time for my annual mid-life crisis (!). i'll be turning 27 on apr 3! ^^;; & i usually take a couple of days to, y'know, examine my life, career, think about what i'll do next, etc etc. now that you mentioned it, this kind of breakdown (?) does happen yearly lol

but i'll be back soon!!! & i'll update home is where the heart is asap! & last but not the least, thank you for joining me in soukoku hell, it's v.v. toasty here :))))

(i’ll reply to the other messages once i get out of this slump orz .__.)

[athina39]

gundam ibo thoughts

hmmm a lot of things have happened, so also a lot of thoughts???

• shino's fate - i'm still holding out hope for shino's survival, because (1) no corpse = no death, when it comes to Sunrise; (2) no dramatic dying speech (iirc no named character has died in a mobile suit/in battle w/o some dramatic dying speech); (3) the last time we got the crushed cockpit while surrounded by other forces, we received galigali's revival to vidar; (4) we need him alive for a shinoyama foil to work

• expanding from (4) above

- i'm half-amazed and half-eurgh at the fact that IBO has tackled some "adult" issues, such as disability/depression/sociopathy? (mika), child soldiers, child prostitution, pedophilia, etc. on one hand, it's always a good thing to strive for realism and real world issues. on another hand - i'm a bit eurgh at how they're backpedalling on some stuff right now - as well as the unfortunate implications.

mostly when it comes to mcgillis & iznario & his motivations. for one - i'm glad that they didn't shy away from confirming that iznario is a gay (or bi?pan?) ped*phile. on another hand - in the whole series, the only ones who are confirmed to have sex scenes are iznario/mcgillis (shown as obviously evil) and mika/atra (shown as obviously good).

when it comes to the ped*bear angle, there's also an unfortunate implication in that mcgillis/almiria is widely known to everyone with little repercussions (aside from almiria's self-esteem issues, which aren't shown to affect anyone else but herself) - while iznario/mcgillis is considered shameful/evil enough that it helped cause the support for mcgillis to fall off.

and there's also that uncomfortable implication when mcgillis, who was abused as a child, tells almiria (a child) that he wants to create a world where they can love each other freely.

tl;dr i'd like to see a "good" m/m pair to "balance" the iznario/mcgillis, because right now, it reads like gay = evil, which is D: D: D:

• the mika/atra = you know what? at this point, i've already accepted the mika has sex with atra to make babies. becauses it's been established that mika doesn't question things and does what he's asked to do if it's from a friend (e.g. the advice to kiss someone cute / the hug a woman when she's crying, etc).

what i just wish is that they won't do that to the extent that mika's ooc? like, so far, in his established character, i can see him doing it because he does not dislike it, not because he actively likes it.

because the fluctuations in mika's character recently reeks of bad writing/bad characterization. we have one episode where we see mika urging orga to take him to more battlefields & he's content to fight for him. then we get an episode (without any development/changes in between!) where he sounds *sad* about fighting??? then we get an episode where he goes, "i'm fighting for you, atra". then the next episode, when the ship atra's at gets bombed - mika only cares about orga's safety (that shift in his expression when waiting for orga's response, then back to disinterest once orga's safe!!!). like. i wish they'd just stick to one characterization so that it doesn't seem forced?? (also, i'm struck yet again by how orga/mika/atra are supposed to be childhood friends & how atra's supposedly so worried about mika...... but we never see mika/orga interacting/talking about mika?! what gives)

• on that note, can we pls pls pls have a final fight where the main players don't have to have love interests?? like, they're setting it up with a mika/atra vs mcgillis/almiria (god, after so many episodes hammering it home that mcgillis doesn't care about anyone, then surprise he's got genuine feelings for almiria!) vs gaelio/julietta. not all main characters need to have love interests, especially if we're going to make characters ooc just to make it happen asjdas;dasdahsd

• tbh at this point, i'm just waiting for takaki to make a dynamic entry and save everyone. and then shino/ane-san/naze will be revived and help -__-

[athina39]

Hi, I love your writing and I wanted to know what are your favorite moments of "home is where the heart is" so far.

ahhhh i read your comment on ao3 and !!!!!! thank you ♥ ♥ ♥

tho damn that is a difficult question lmao partly because the scenes that have become my favorites aren't yet published LOL but for the ones that's already up, hmm let's see:

- chuuya confronting dazai re: breaking-up with kunikida- the one where chuuya learns about fitz/john wedding (i really liked the “Why not just take over Port Mafia while you’re at it.” because cHUUYA DON'T GIVE HIM IDEAS)- the “I already have what’s most important close to my heart right now.” scene, because pffffft dazai- gin/chuuya reminiscing about their first meeting- the BATHTUB SCENE- dazai recording drunk chuuya stop being a creepy stalker dazaiiii

if i can include the parts that are coming up???

- chuuya going to fitz/john's wedding (because i really like the line: "We had a one-night stand. We spent one night, standing around.")- chuuya talking to the incarcerated fyodor!!! god why do i take so long to get to this point, i've been wanting to arrive there for ages- chuuya's birthday, where dazai finally confesses asdfghkl it's the scene/reason/plot twist (?!) why this fic even exists asdfghkjl

well, i can ramble a lot and lot about this, but i guess i'm more curious if you also liked the ones above???

[athina39]

Hey!! I just wanted to personally drop by and say that I'm in love with HISWTHI! I love how you layer on the emotions so that it's not overwhelming but still leaves such a lasting impression. The little details you include about all the characters are so much fun to read through and the balance of fun and and quiet moments are perfect. I'm honestly so happy when you update, thanks for all of the wonderful writing!!! (PS I'm loving the inclusion of Oda)

hey there!!!! ahhhhhhhh thank you for dropping by ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ i actually just finished flailing at you at ao3′s comments, so pls pardon me for flailing here again hahaha ♥

one of my major challenges with the fic is that... the main bulk of the conflict is really chuuya (and dazai, in a bit) dealing with his past so he can move on and be happy. but it’s not as... interesting? or impactful, for me, if i start the fic with that. and chuuya’s sort of running away from his issues in a way, so i had to pick things and show them first (the reluctance, then the sorta-acceptance, then the happy-fun times) before we go to the real issues, once everything else is smooth and he can’t ignore them anymore. plus, if we have chuuya’s insecurities and emotions since the beginning, we’d all die of heartbreak so early lololol

so thank you! i’m happy to hear that it worked that way ♥ at least all that plotting/outlining of when to drop the details/emotions worked hahaha.

i wanted to give them as much of a “realistic” life as possible, in that there are fun moments, there are times when you just gotta be quiet, etc etc. and it’s handy to have the wikia up whenever i write the characters, or re-read the chapters, because i think bsd’s strongest point is how unique the characters are and it’s always interesting to have unique characters act in such a mundane setting haha.

in a way, oda’s the catalyst to the mafia!soukoku “break-up”, so it’d be remiss of me to not include him. plus chuuya getting jealous of a dead guy is just.... chuuya no.

and i rambled a lot as always, BUT THANK YOUUUUUU ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ you’re too kind and i love seeing your comments too and ahhhhhhhh ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

[athina39]

Hello! Do you think Atsushi isn't currently the main character? By any chance, do you think it's Dazai? Because that's what I believe.. And I'm curious to know other people's opinion 😊

ahahaha okay, so while the ‘remember when atsushi was the main character’ will never not be funny to me - i think he’s still the main character.

because he’s the guy who suddenly got pulled into a ~whole, new world~, 100% shounen character complete with sudden power-ups (who knew being a tiger also meant rapid regeneration?), sob backstory, conveniently orphaned, smidge of dulcinea effect (gotta save everyone), suddenly at the middle of everything (guild wants him!, jinkoooooo, fukuzawa agrees to a ceasefire bec of his suggestion!, he ends up saving the day!). he’s got the whole stockpile of usual protag tropes.

or at least, that’s what he was meant to be.

dazai is the mentor character who turned into the spotlight-stealing squad, imo.

right now, it’s just that the fyodor arc is still ongoing with more players so we haven’t really seen atsushi play a big role, but i do think (and it’s part of dazai’s plan) that it’ll be atsushi who’s gonna end up finishing fyodor off, so.

(of course, it’s entirely possible to shift MCs if the author wishes to go that route, so i won’t rule out dazai from becoming the MC instead of atsushi)

tl;dr: i may not always be happy with atsushi being shoehorned to such a cliche MC role, but i do think he’s the MC LOL

[athina39]

Oh! I see. You've got a good point. I just thought that maybe Dazai was becoming the main character because he seems all-knowing and a lot of the events that happened was part of his plan.. Anyway, thank you for sharing your opinion!😊

no problem and you’re most welcome! :D

i think that dazai is a major character, definitely the deuteragonist ^^;;; he’s def rocking that “mysterious mentor who knows everything” aura, though story-wise, i feel that he’s already completed a lot of character development (during his past / the dark era), while atsushi’s just starting, so story-wise, it still makes more sense to have atsushi stay as mc.

though i wouldn’t be opposed to seeing dazai become the main character - because i do have a fondness for mysterious characters coming to light hahahaha. he’d make for an interesting main character because he’s a rarer type after all LOL

maybe we can both wish for it???

[athina39]

ibo s2 e14/e15 thoughts!

a bit late and long so here goes!!!

• • • re: OP song & symbolism - so the flower that features prominently in the OP is the red spider lily (lycoris). now, it's possible to read too much into op sequences, but since lycoris is pretty well-known in jap hanakotoba/legends AND gundam ibo has lots of flower symbolism already in place in canon (iron flower, ice flower, etc), i'm guessing that there's definite meaning behind it here. so lycoris has a LOT of legends attached to it. it's generally attached to death/funerals/reincarnation. the flower appears mostly in Mika's scene at the beginning & end, as well as Orga looking out into the distance with the flower petals fanning around him. so, some legends!

(a) when its flower blooms, the leaves fall; when the leaves grow back, the flowers wilt. the corresponding legend is that the flower & the leaf are star-crossed lovers fated to never meet again. it's interesting that the blooming/wilting has been foreshadowed in the S2OP1 as well (the one where Mika leans down in the field, then Orga rises to his seat).

(b) legend/hanakotoba for lycoris states that lycoris will be seen blooming if two person who may never meet again (aka, death) meet (for the last time). so definitely death flags between orga & mika, as they both see the flowers bloom (though it's leaning towards orga being the one left behind by mika's death, given that orga's observing the flower whirlwind)

(c) lycoris' other hanakotoba is it being the flower blooming on the sanzu river, therefore helping guide the dead to the reincarnation. so both orga & mika dying is also plausible, and they'll be "reincarnated" (e.g. their wills will live on tekkadan, if the Baby Project succeeds, then both kudelia and atra will get pregnant, one will be baby orga, another baby mika, or something)

(d) or it could just be trolling because the spider lilies ARE pretty lol

• • • re: The Baby Project - can i just say how much of a dick move that is? i know it was a possibility since before the break, but hearing atra explain her idea explicitly, confirming all my worst fears, is just. wow. what the fuck.

(a) personally - i hate hearing that rationale of "have a baby to have a fulfilled life". i hear it all the time in my own life; i've heard it a lot of times with others. and i gotta tell you - it doesn't work. if the person already has other priorities in life / don't even care for babies, having a child added to their life isn't gonna solve whatever problem they have. which is basically what atra wants - he wants mika to not continue pursuing his life and be fulfilled instead by raising a family.

(b) the ENTIRE TIME they were discussing it - they have NOT, for one second, thought about what MIKA HIMSELF wanted. it's all about what they think is correct, what they want. true, mika's on the self-destructive path - but it's for a reason. it's his decision, his resolve. he doesn't even want girls (see s1e1, for the often-forgotten line of mika not caring for women - said way earlier than orga's line). he doesn't even want to live outside of orga's orders (see, every episode ever). he wants to farm, but given that he knows the state of his body, he doesn't even want that anymore. he thinks babies are like ham. he doesn't want to live in peacetime. this is not a guy who wants to live a happy ever after w/babies involved.

(b.1) AND EVEN IF, atra/kudelia manages to get pregnant - what then? obvious choice would be mika will continue to fight. if he dies (which is foreshadowed to hell and back), what will happen to the baby? to atra? to kudelia? they'll be single moms. baby will not know their father. if he lives - he'll still be crippled. and i'm not saying crippled people can't be parents - but he's gotta be connected to barbatos to move properly. he can't fully help/support in raising the kid. IF mika has a change of heart and discovers that BABIES!!!, then what? who the fuck would fight all the enemies tekkadan made? they'll fucking lose everything and they'd all be dead/not have livelihood.

(b.2) again. they DON'T EVEN DISCUSS WHAT MIKA WANTS. and this is my main beef with atra (&kudelia, to a lesser extent). atra is mika's supposed childhood friend. orga and mika met each other first, but orga/mika met atra fairly early too. the three of them have lived/survived/interacted with each other since they were young. atra... should know that mika listens to orga. everyone in tekkadan knows it. even merribit, who has only joined them for a few months, knows it. even hush, the newest recruit knows it. atra, who's known them the longest... SHOULD know it. and she knows orga. why couldn't she talk to orga if she feels mika's being too headstrong? if she has to go around mika anyway, why not talk to orga first??????????????????? (it's a lesser extent to kudelia because she hasn't known them that long and she might have reservations talking to orga, as their relationship is more business compared to atra/orga, BUT STILL.) everyone fucking knows that to get mika to listen, orga just has to say the words.

(b.2.5) they don't know orga's concerns about pushing mika (as those are between orga/naze, orga/biscuit, orga/mika, to a lesser extent, orga/merribit & orga/old man (lol)) are they... worried that orga will not listen? doubtful, as orga's always shown himself to be The Good Boss. are they... worried that it will not work because mika will not listen? because news flash, if mika doesn't listen, it's because he doesn't want it. therefore if they push through the baby plan / or do whatever to prevent mika from fighting ----- they're forcing mika to do something he doesn't wanttttttttt

(b.3) i've seen some support The Baby Project because atra's idea of a mika harem was inspired by naze's....... and just no. atra has completely missed the point of naze's harem if she wants to tie mika down. as the latest episode confirms (RIP), naze's harem isn't a standard harem in which they're all tied to naze - instead, they're women who naze invites to attach to himself as they're lost/at their lowest points/still finding their way, and they're welcome (i would say encouraged, really) to "leave" their attachment to naze once they're steadier, more secure in their life/life choices. it's the exact opposite of tying someone down and forcing naze (mika, if we go for the comparison) to be the pillar who can never leave. the women in naze's harem aren't chains holding him down. naze isn't a pillar holding them to one place. turbines stay together because they want to - and they know that they can leave if they want to.

(b.3.5) it's not as heavy-handed, but the latest episode also shows a different turbines parallel - naze/amida/turbines vs orga/mika/tekkadan.

- naze/amida met way before turbines (orga/mika met before tekkadan/cgs) - naze (orga) is more of the silver-tongue, businessman who hires/recruits someone (amida/mika) who's more into battles, but doesn't physically look it (i know, women and kids can be strong too, but amida/lafter/azee had a lot of lines before saying about how women/kids don't look like they should be in battle, but look at them now, that sort of thing, so it's an accepted way of thinking in ibo-verse) - naze/orga about accepting the physical "flaws"/marks left behind by fighting on amida (scars)/mika (paralysis) - naze/amida being the "parents" of the group they're in, a group that allows people from all ~walks of life join, but allow them to live whenever they need to (e.g. TAKAKI.) - naze/amida otp, so... orga/mika otp too lol

ANYWAY. good god, i can write a few more about this, but just. the entire concept is so WTF ATRA NO

• • • re: vidar's "i want to understand mcgillis' motives": NOOOOOOOOOOOOO lmao i had a mini heart attack when vidar used "shinyuu" to say "true intentions" re: mcgillis, because you know what else is a "shinyuu"?! that was used in a dialogue re: gaelio/mcgillis?! it's shinyuu = one true friend, the term mcgillis used to describe his relationship w/gaelio. and okada is very good about all these dialogue references all throughout so i'm confident that this was on purpose.

• • • re: Akihiro/Lafter: YES PLEASE

• • • re: the other plot points: so worried about mika's impending death, about azee & cute mechanic girl (they're not in the op), vidar (bec he's along the dead people banner in the op), teiwaz get your shit together, etc

phew that was a lot lol