#ateez aurora fic

[sorryimananti-romantic]

AHAHA OMG HAS IT ALREADY BEEN 10 MONTHS KDFJGHDJG FEELS LIKE YESTERDAY HAHA IM SO GLAD YOU'RE FEELING THIS WAY EVEN AFTER REREADING that's literally such high praise 😭🩷 THANK YOU SO MUCH!

Aurora

strategist!yunho x spy!reader

falling in love with the enemy?au

genre and warnings: some fluff, loads of angst, slow burn, suggestive, manipulation, betrayal, lies lies lies, blood and violence warnings, swearing, human lab rats, mentions of self-harm (picking at old scars), lmk if i missed sth.

word count: 26.5k

synopsis: you're finally working at halaland's most prestigious research centre as a skilled cryptographer. reality is, you're a utopian spy trained by the crescents to uncover the suspicious activity in the medical research department. to get there, you must first become a part of jeong yunho's strategy team and win his favour. however, as you both get closer, the presence of secrets burden you both and you know you're up for eventual heartbreak when you fall in love. you dread when he'll learn who you truly are.

manager-nim: @eightmakesonebraincell (made sure i got my ass working on this and yeah couldn't have done this without her <3)

You didn’t know what you were expecting when you stepped within Halaland, legally, for the first time. One could argue about the legality of your admission into the country but as far as everyone was concerned, you were a Halaland native returning from Mist Island after training.  

“The wind is not different. The land is the same. I wonder why we have so many differences?” You wondered out loud and Seonghwa shot you a warning look, making the others in the car squirm.

“No matter how much this place feels like home, remember what you are here for,” Seonghwa looked at all three of you as he said. Everyone nodded in synchrony. “As of this moment… we’re strangers and I’m just the poor Mr. Park who was unfortunate enough to be collecting young female researchers from around the continent. Now… I hope you all remember who you are?”

“Aurora,” you called your new name, the way it rolled off your lips feeling foreign even to you. “For the cryptography team.”

“And the strategy team if you’re lucky,” Seonghwa reminded you of the first step towards your ultimate goal and you gulped, nodding. While he talked to Byeol and Nami, you resorted to watching the apple farm pass by as you drew closer to the Capital.

If someone had asked you a few years ago- before the war with Utopia began- what profession you saw yourself in, you’d say teaching in a breath. Teaching maths. Your original dream, before Halaland announced war on your home and snatched everything from you- family, friends, and dreams.

It was ironic that you were now in the very land you hated to the core, as their researcher. As the notorious Halazia Research Center- home to the most dangerous weapons on the continent- came into view, you couldn’t help but wow at the endless array of towers and buildings that must make up half of the Capital. It looked plain enough for the horrors it had been producing for a decade now. You straightened and put on a practised smile before you stopped at the gate for identification.

Thankfully, none of you held your breath as they went through your tags and got a good look at you. Seonghwa said a few words to the guards and then they let you through, leading the car to the Security Office.

You got off and took a quick glance around at the grey structure and the signs in their native language before greeting the middle-aged man who you very well recognised.

“Ladies, it’s a pleasure to finally have you here,” he took off his hat and tipped his head in greeting and the three of you curtsied. “I am Dr. Eric Cho, co-director of Halazia. I hope your journey wasn’t too troublesome- I understand you had to travel through land due to the circumstances…”

“Not at all,” Byeol passed her trademark gummy smile, one that charmed not only men but women as well. “I always wanted to see what Utopia looked like. I have to admit it wasn’t much.”

Dr. Cho seemed to like that attitude and he laughed out loud. “I’m sure it’s got some hidden gems too.”

“We travelled around the border so they probably don’t have much to share about the sights,” Seonghwa dug out cigarettes from his pocket and offered one to the doctor and you watched them light each other’s cigarettes, sharing a moment which made rage simmer in your throat but you tightened your smile- Seonghwa was only acting. “Shall I take them inside?”

Dr. Cho motioned for one of the officers to escort you inside the Security Office and you weren’t surprised by how thoroughly you were all checked- they didn’t spare one inch on your body, which made you feel a bit uncomfortable. When you were done and came outside, Dr. Cho scanned you.

“Are you the one who decrypted our code in the shortest time so far?”

“3 minutes and 28 seconds, Doctor,” you saluted. “Aurora Han at your service.”

“That’s a whole 2 minutes shorter than the previous record-holder,” his eyes twinkled and you passed a proud smile. “Do you know what can happen in 2 minutes?”

“The world can change in 2 seconds.”

“I like her,” Dr. Cho laughed. “Cryptography Department, is it?”

“Keep an eye on her,” Seonghwa nodded. “Puzzles are not the only thing she is good at.”

Before the doctor could ask more, Byeol and Nami were out and the five of you had lunch where the doctor briefed you about the ambitions of this research centre and what they were striving for. It was pretty well rehearsed and felt like something he had narrated multiple times so you just listened to every word and nodded like a schoolgirl. After that, you followed an officer to the Cryptography Department where you filled the paperwork so you could get a pass and start working from tomorrow.

“Shall I ask one of those guys to give you a tour of the department?” The officer asked, looking pretty tired.

“It’s alright, I’ll just find my way to the dorms, I think the fatigue is finally catching up,” you said and he bowed before leaving. You picked up your belongings and exited the office, taking a deep breath.

This was it.

After 3 years of training as a member of Crescent- a group of spies in Utopia that infiltrated into Halaland to find something, anything to win the goddamned war, you were finally here. As you walked along the corridors, peeking into the labs and memorising the path, you couldn’t help but feel both terror and a sense of accomplishment. You weren’t afraid, no. You were terrified of the fact that whatever you did here could turn the tide of the war.

You were looking at the picture of the alumni of the department, recalling their names in your head. You remembered what the Captain- the mastermind behind the Crescents- had said time and time again:

“The easiest way to get wherever you want is to get into your senior’s good graces. The easiest way to get caught, however, comes after that.”

You were staring holes at the picture of the person you wanted to approach first when someone cleared their throat behind you, making you nearly jump out of your skin.

“You seem to know them.”

You turned around with a hand on your heart, greeted by a tall figure in a uniform you very well recognised, the black outfit producing a striking contrast with the gold medals and red details. The Strategy Department.

“Of course I know them,” you managed to say as you took a careful step away. “Who doesn’t?”

He smiled, standing beside you. “Are you the new recruit?”

“I thought that was obvious,” you couldn’t help yourself and he grinned. You stifled a smile- he had quite a friendly face. “Do you work here too?”

“I work… around,” he said and you didn’t probe further. “I’m mostly on the field though. I bring data back. So… Miss?”

“Han. Han Aurora,” you told him and he nodded.

“Aurora,” he tested, a subtle raise of his brow as he scanned you and you licked your suddenly dry lips. “Do you need help finding the dorms? I reckon you’d want to get rid of your bags before you memorise every face on the frames in this hall.”

“Sadly, yes,” you replied. You could return his humour if that was what he wanted. He seemed to be pleased and offered to hold your bags but you insisted you were fine.

“Let me have my gentleman moment, please,” he laughed and you finally handed him your bags. 

“I thought you’d have quite a bit of those moments on ‘the field’,” you commented as you walked beside him. 

“Not really,” he shook his head. “I’m only a gentleman when I’m not on the field.”

You ooh-ed dramatically at that, making him grin. After walking to the third floor and taking a few turns, you finally arrived outside the rooms.

“Men on the left, women on right,” he pointed. “You could probably choose your own room there. We don’t have many women in this field.”

“Well, I’ll take my bag from here,” you smiled. “Thank you, Mr…?”

“Jeong Yunho, from the Strategy Department.”

—-------------------

The lab in the Cryptography Department was going to be your workplace and it was everything you had expected- a bit tense, occasional jokes to lighten the mood, some of them scribbling while the others typing endlessly into the computers. You weren’t surprised by the vibe.

However, you were surprised when Jeong Yunho from yesterday introduced himself as a member of the Cryptography Department.

“He’s everywhere, you’ll get used to it,” Dr. Takashi, your team leader, said dismissively.

“When you’re from the Strategy Department… you need to be everywhere,” Yunho explained with a grin.

“Sounds fun,” you made a face and began setting your things on the desk, glancing around. “So what are your contributions to the Cryptography Department, Mr. Jeong?”

“Call me Yunho,” he smiled. “I’ll admit, not much. It’s you guys who will be cracking all the codes. Meanwhile, you, Miss Aurora, will be reporting to Dr. Takashi there with all your findings at the end of the day, and if you’re good enough, who knows? You might be assigned to my team.”

“He’s just pulling your leg,” Kate, who sat nearest to your desk, rolled around in her chair and looked pointedly at Yunho. “He’s the Strategy Department’s ace. Anyone who comes under his wing either ends up losing it or begging to quit, because once you’re assigned to him? Your life gets harder.”

“Ah, is that why you’re purposely slacking off these days, Kate?” Yunho raised a brow in challenge and Kate pursed her lips guiltily.

You remembered every detail about Jeong Yunho from the files you had read on him. Skilled cryptographer though he was playing humble here, very skilled strategist and you supposed the title of ‘ace’ fit him since his contributions stretched across multiple departments, including the Medical Department- your end goal. You knew in your bones that this man was dangerous and you could not afford a single mistake around him, but the fact that he was so… relaxed? Cheerful? Quite a contrast to the otherwise tense environment in the lab.

It put you off guard, and you did not like it.

“Shall I… try then?” You asked, drawing their attention. “I’ve been told I’m not that bad a strategist.”

“Hmm, my team has grown smaller in number in the past few months,” Yunho considered. “I like that ambition. Dr. Cho had a lot to say about you, so if you prove yourself, I might personally put in a request for you to be on my team.”

“I’m suddenly not sure if I want that,” you laughed nervously and Kate snickered.

“Yunho, you’re scaring the new kid! Get out of here, it’s only her first day, don’t overwhelm her,” Kate practically pushed Yunho out of the cubicle, his laugh ringing in the lab and the others present smiling faintly as he passed by. You frowned a bit- it was only a few hours into your first day but it was already full of surprises.

The rest of the day passed by with you studying the codes that came in for the day- thankfully, Halaland hadn’t cracked Utopia’s code of communication yet. You, of course, knew exactly what it said, being one of the masterminds behind the code creation, however, you knew you were going to be treading on dangerous waters here. You remembered what the Captain had told you-

“It’s harder to pretend that you don’t know anything than to pretend you know something. So when you see our code, how will you blend in? If you don’t provide a meaningful contribution, they’re going to transfer you out of the Capital. That means you’re done for. However, if you crack the code entirely, that means you’ve studied similar codes, which means you might be acting as a spy. So what will you do?”

“Lay low for a while and then plant an idea in someone’s head,” you had replied. “When the person gets closer to cracking the code, I’ll step in and steal the spotlight. They might call me shameless for it but in the end, what will matter is that it would be me who eventually cracked the code.”

It was only a matter of ‘when’ now, and you would thankfully be getting that message through this very code soon, by the Captain himself. Before that, you were going to start putting your plan into action and build your background so that you coming to the solution wouldn’t seem out of the blue.

And that meant you had to trick the entire Cryptography Department. That was easy- they lived in their own heads.

But could you trick Jeong Yunho? 

Later in your room, you changed into your nightgown and sat at your desk, peeking out of the window to see Dr. Cho conversing with some strangers. You shut your eyes, recalling the lesson you had learnt every day for the past two years- 

“You’re my asset, Aurora,” the Captain said and your eyes widened in surprise- the man rarely ever complimented anyone on their skill, let alone call them their ‘asset’. “You’re everything I needed.”

“And what’s that?” 

“An innocent face with a deadly brain and a frozen heart,” he patted your arm, looking down at the scar that ran down from your elbow- an ugly gash that was a sign that you were a survivor. “You’d make my perfect little spy. You’re my ace, Aurora.”

You picked at the scar as you told yourself what you were here for. 

Revenge. Plain and simple. Revenge for the people you lost, the home they took from you, the families they broke. 

All hail Utopia, you whispered to yourself as you met eyes with Dr. Cho through the window.

—----------------------

You let a few uneventful days pass by before you took your first step- which was to steer your colleagues further away from cracking Utopia’s code of communication by pointing them in a similar but totally opposite direction. 

It was simple enough- creating notes from the past few attempts of the Cryptography Department, reading books and books of code and puzzles in your spare time which you would spend either in the lab or in the cafeteria, anywhere where you had eyes. You immersed yourself in codebreaking like your teammates but with your progress, you proved everyday that you were better than the others by a good margin.

It was to the point that even your colleagues like Kate, who had initially cared if you were eating well, stopped caring altogether- you could clearly handle yourself. However, as soon as they stopped, you made sure to slack on eating, to doze off while working or scratch your hair out in frustration when you came upon a dead end. That certainly prompted some of them to ask you to take a break, reminding you that a burdened mind would be no good here.

Yunho visited twice- once with confidential information that only Dr. Takashi had the privilege to hear, and the second time to ‘glance’ around, as he put it.

He fired two people that day.

You were standing by a window and recalling the events of that day when Yunho spotted you and joined.

“What are you looking at?”

“The sky’s clear,” you replied casually.

The sky is clear. No aircrafts. No smoke. No cries of the mourners filling the seemingly permanent darkness of the sky.

“I hope you weren’t too surprised by the events of that day,” he glanced at you and you wondered if he had read your mind. “You should have guessed by now that whenever I visit, I’m actually evaluating.”

“I’m… not exactly surprised, I expected that,” you laughed nervously, not meeting his eyes. “I’ve heard enough about you and your fellows from the Strategy Department. I’m just… wondering why Strategy holds the authority to do that. I thought the Head of Cryptography did that?”

“You’re right,” Yunho nodded. “But your Head of Department is far too busy for such meagre tasks. He lets us handle it. Why do you think we hold that authority?”

You looked at him this time. “Because every second is valuable, and you cannot afford to entertain people who’re not contributing?”

“Something along those lines, but to be exact, we cannot afford the people who waste our resources. We’re few in numbers but we need maximum output. And for that, we need people who do not slack, or who at least try. So my next question is, how much are you trying, Aurora?”

Your heart sank despite all the training you had done before arriving here. “I cannot be the judge of that.”

“Exactly. You said you’re not a bad strategist. I see potential in you, but so far I haven’t seen output, Aurora. So if you at least want to stay in the Cryptography Department, I’ll need to see something significant soon.”

Asshole, you thought. You cleared your throat. “I do have this notion that I'm entertaining. I won’t spill until I’m at least 51 percent sure, but I think it could turn the tide.”

“Is that so?” Yunho raised a curious brow. 

“I’m just trying my best… Sir.”

Yunho laughed heartily at your sudden use of title and you almost glared daggers at him though his hearty laugh forced your lips to curve a bit. “I’m not pulling rank on you- that was not my intention. But… you keep working on that, okay? I’d like to hear what you’re thinking, even if you’re 49 percent sure.”

With that, he walked off and you watched his tall figure until he paused and turned, catching you staring at him.

“And Aurora?”

“Yes?”

“It’s Yunho for you,” he smiled, disappearing into the shadows. You found yourself stifling a smile at the man who could be both ice cold and warm as the sun.

Who could either unintentionally push you to success in this mission or destroy you if he learned of your true identity.

—---------------------

It was your first day off since you arrived at the facility, but you weren’t going to waste it roaming around. You had a number of tasks for today and you couldn’t risk getting caught.

You woke up at the crack of dawn and went out for your usual jog but to meet Seonghwa this time and exchange information. A few days ago you hid a letter behind one of the tires of his truck and you were going to get your answer today. You spotted Seonghwa and said hi.

“I hope you’ve adjusted well,” he asked, not daring to glance around. The people here may not have their eyes everywhere but they sure had ears.

“I’m managing,” you said with a short laugh. “Did you just get back?”

“No, I’m leaving,” Seonghwa said and you nodded slowly. “I think I’ll be on the road for a while this time.”

“I see… have a safe journey, and may the fates be with you,” you said- the farewell greeting of Mist Island. “And may you not have a problem with the tires. That one looks flat.”

“Yeah, I called someone to help me out with that,” Seonghwa scratched the back of his neck tiredly. 

“Well, I’ll be resuming my jog now.”

“Go along, and good luck with whatever the hell you’re doing here,” Seonghwa laughed lightly. “If I get praised to have found you, I’ll assume you’ve succeeded.”

“Of course, I’ll make you proud,” you saluted sarcastically before going back to your jog and analysing the conversation you just had in your head.

You had talked in code- subtle hints on what to do. Seonghwa was going somewhere far but would be travelling through Utopia- the reason he said he’d be on the road for a while. You had pointed out the flat tire where you had sneaked in a note for him a few days earlier. He had answered your question- you were doing good and now you needed to play the cards right- you needed to proceed with the plan.

So later that day, you went to Dr. Takashi and asked him why everyone in the department was analysing Utopia’s code according to maths and logic, rather than language itself.

Dr. Takashi looked at you in confusion. “What exactly are you implying?”

“I’m saying,” you swallowed, pretending to gather your courage- you knew Dr. Takashi rarely bought anyone's bullshit. “Yes, codes are usually connected to maths. It’s some simple formula, some calculation. But what if Utopia’s code is a play on language itself? Utopian language? What if, for instance, this word-” you pointed at what seemed like a random scribble, “-what if this word is a made-up word from different words, or even languages?”

“I understand what you’re implying, but I’m sure someone has already entertained this possibility before you. What makes this time different?”

“If we can crack even one word…” you began. “We could decipher the entire code. We just need to focus on patterns and repetitions and check the similarities with Utopian vocabulary or other languages.”

Dr. Takashi thought for a moment, running a hand through his salt and pepper hair. He looked at you for a few moments and then picked up the phone. You raised a brow in confusion, watching him click 2 for the Strategy Department.

“It’s- it’s just a possibility I was wondering we could entertain- are you gonna fire me?” 

“Relax,” Dr. Takashi chuckled and then cleared his throat when the line connected. “This is Dr. Takashi from Cryptograph. Could I have someone from Strategy? I think we might have something worth checking out.”

This time your surprise was a bit genuine- you hadn’t expected him to immediately ring the Strategy Department. You prayed Yunho would come- you had met another person from that department and he really wasn’t pleasant to be around.

But when Yunho entered, he had a knowing smile. “I knew it had something to do with the newcomer.”

“You’re quick,” Dr. Takashi commented. “You should hear her out.”

“51 percent sure?” Yunho asked and you nodded, the doctor looking between you two, lost. “Go ahead then. Surprise me.”

You showed your own framework and explained how with an approach that targeted repetitions and patterns in the Utopian language and worked on unjumbling it might work better and resultantly, shorten the workload. You explained that the focus should be on lingual patterns instead of mathematical ones. If you manage to crack some part of the code, you could at least make some sense of the whole message.

“That’s actually not such a bad idea. Why hasn't anyone entertained this possibility yet? It’s not a new approach as far as I know,” Yunho asked. 

“A similar approach was suggested by someone a few days earlier, but they weren't sure just how to implement it. Aurora here, however, seems to have built her own code as a set of guidelines. Certainly makes work easier.”

“I wouldn’t call it ‘guidelines’...” you faltered but the two weren’t impressed by your lack of confidence.

“You built this code in how many days exactly?” Yunho asked, grabbing the document and checking it out. 

“One day. 14 hours, to be exact.”

“And this is new? I haven’t seen something like this before, have you, Dr. Takashi?”

“I don’t think so either,” he peeked at the table. “I think you’re not meant to be here, Aurora.”

“What do you mean?” Your heart skipped a beat.

“I mean you should be creating instead of cracking,” Dr. Takashi was clearly impressed, glancing at Yunho as if to dare him to contradict his statement. Yunho, however, remained quiet until he had finished reading the code.

“I think I’ll have the team split into half- one of them can go with this approach while the other continue with their progress. I’ll have you manage that, Dr. Takashi. As for you, Aurora…” he glanced at you, face void of expressions. “Continue entertaining more possibilities- don’t waste time merging with a team unless you’re sure you’re onto something. And this time, I’ll have your ideas that you’re only about 40 percent sure as well.”

You nodded eagerly and he finally smiled. “Good work there.”

“Thank you,” you smiled and Yunho asked Dr. Takashi if he could have a word. You went back to your seat and watched the two talk in hushed voices, glancing at you. You pretended to get back to work, glad that you were the only one who could hear the thumping of your heart.

You’d done it. You had diverted the attention when they came close to actually cracking Utopia’s code. And you might just have landed a seat in the Strategy Department- you were pretty sure the two were discussing it, though you knew the type of person Jeong Yunho was, he would wait a good while and test you a lot more before ever giving you access to the facility’s perhaps most important department.

—-------------------

You stood outside the Medical Department- the largest building in the entire facility, and you sure felt like an outsider in front of the enormous doors. You showed the guard your permit and identification card and he let you in, handing you a pamphlet with a map and requesting that you follow the directions instead of roaming around.

You ignored that. You came to roam around. 

You stood in the hallway, a stretch of white and gold leading to glass doors on either side of you, the one on the left for emergency (ICU) and handling outdoor patients (OPD). Most of the traffic was around there, but-

The Medical Research Department was on your right, a semi-restricted area that you needed to get access to. The one the Captain told you about. Your origin as a spy and your end goal.

The war was going to turn 10 this year. Halaland’s war hadn’t always been with Utopia- in fact, Utopia had once been Halaland’s strongest ally, until some political strife that was unknown even to the most trusted agents of Utopia caused Halaland to ‘unwillingly’ turn their weapons towards Utopia- which happened about 4 years ago. 

The Captain had told you that the strife was born due to some disagreement in Medical Research. Utopia and Halaland had worked very closely there, and now it was your job now to see if it was just a coincidence that none of the Utopians made it back alive after being expelled when the two went against each other.

You wondered if the Captain was right. What could be in Medical Research? Drugs? Did they finally discover how to extend their life? Or some unexplainable discovery no one could ever begin to comprehend the notion of?

You waited until someone started going towards the right, following a middle-aged woman through the hallway until she turned towards a lab, leaving you alone in the corridor. You hid the map in your pocket and walked until you reached the sign with the layout of the building- Level 1 being the ground floor which contained labs for testing the official samples, Level 2 being the experimentation labs, and Level 3 being the restricted section. You knew all this from the information the Captain had gathered from ex-employees of this facility.

You also knew you could get access to Level 3- the restricted section- if you become a part of the strategy team. That wasn’t the end, though. Your priority was the basement that they called Level 0. The one that not even the residents of the Medical Department knew of.

The one that, if still in operation, might have something that could lead Utopia to salvation.

You heard someone come and you pretended to be lost, looking at them for help. It was a man about your age. “Looking for someone?”

“I’m wondering if I should give my blood sample here or in the OPD,” you let your voice shake nervously. 

“Cryptography Department? You must be here for your monthly exam,” he asked and you nodded. “Well, you’ll have to go to the OPD for that, but if you’re already here, I’ll save you the trip, follow me.”

You thanked him, walking a few steps behind him and he asked if you had received the map or instructions before entering. You told him it was your first month here and the guard was too busy eating snacks to provide help. The man shook his head, telling you this wasn’t the first time someone had strayed here.

After giving your blood sample, you walked back to your department slowly, calculating the outcome of each move you could make from here on. There were a number of paths the Captain had sketched for you, but he had trusted you as long as you reached your goal with minimum damage. But no matter what, you had to win Jeong Yunho’s favour and get yourself in his strategy team if you wanted to get to Level 0. 

And maybe it was time you showed Yunho just what you were made of. 

You went straight back to your lab and started working on another code-cracking framework you had been building for the last two days. Once you were done, you analysed it with a few samples of Utopia’s code.

If anyone could actually figure it out (which you were sure no one in this lab would) it could break at least half of Utopia’s code language. For days, you had built everything for this exact moment. With your heart skipping beats to the point you had to sit down and shut your eyes for a few seconds, you got up and walked to your colleague Sam.

“Can I have a moment?”

He looked up, pushing his glasses up and his tousled washed-out hair away. “Sure. What’s the matter?”

You took a seat next to him. “You specialise in the structures of codes, right? I was wondering if this framework makes any sense to you- I thought an external opinion would be good because my brain’s a mess right now and I don’t want to dump this away without being sure.”

“Ah, let me see,” Sam started going through the document and you watched him look unimpressed until you pushed at the Utopian code’s samples you had been working on, which was when he detected the pattern and looked at you in surprise.

“Where did you get this?”

“The framework? I built this-”

“No, the samples,” he began, opening his drawer and pausing to check the date on your copy of samples before rushing through his drawers, creating a mess and then asking Kate to get two copies of the samples from all the dates you had already analysed. You pretended to be nervous but you were actually sweating visibly.

“Is everything… okay?”

“Yeah- yeah, everything is okay,” he nodded, his pitch uneven. “I just need to make sure you have the right samples.”

Kate arrived, looking intrigued and you both watched Sam double-checking everything and even calling the linguist in the room. You kept scratching at the skin around your fingernails until Sam finally took off his glasses and looked at you in disbelief.

“I think you’ve done it, Aurora. We’ve never been closer to cracking the entire code.”

You almost cried out in disbelief, looking around to see the rest with genuine smiles on their faces. Sam told you to follow him to Dr. Takashi’s office where the two of you briefed him on your progress and he immediately pulled the codes that had been intercepted today and let you work on it. You decrypted about 25 percent of the code.

“It makes sense,” Dr. Takashi studied it. “Unless we’re all gaslighting ourselves to believe it does. I think we should still get Strategy to see it- if they can get this to the engineers, they might be able to feed this format into their machines, which would make decryption a matter of mere seconds. We could win this war, Aurora, because you sit holed up in a corner with those stupid gummy bears and your codes, do you understand?”

This time, your tears of happiness were real, though not for the reason they thought.

I can win this war.

“I guess it’s a battle of who falls first- Aurora’s teeth or Utopia.”

“That’s a bad joke, Sam,” you rolled your eyes, laughing. “My teeth are perfectly intact. Gummy bears are harmless.”

“Says who?”

You turned to the familiar voice- Yunho, entering and looking just as surprised to see you. “Don’t tell me you called me because someone has cavities.”

You turned to Dr. Takashi- when did he call him? Or did someone else?

“Those gummy bears might have contributed to the decryption. Take a look at this, Yunho, and tell me what you make of it.”

Yunho looked sceptical as he glanced at you before sitting down. You gulped involuntarily as he analysed the document faster than even Dr. Takashi who was supposedly the expert here. He checked the decrypted sample.

“You broke the code?” He glanced at you.

“A bit of it, it seems?” 

Yunho stared at you as if he had figured you out, scanning every bit of your face and your body language. When he finally got up, you almost sighed in relief. “I’ll get this to the Department. Aurora, follow me please.”

You gathered up the rest of the documents, arranging them as you followed Yunho who looked even taller in his uniform- perhaps he had just returned from the ‘field’. He turned as if he had felt you staring at him and smiled encouragingly, allowing you to fall in step with him.

“So what’s it about the gummy bears?”

“I may have a severe addiction, Sir.”

Yunho grinned at the way you formally put it. “And that addiction may have contributed to this outcome? If so, I might send a request to the government to send funds for… ‘snacks’.”

“Definitely,” you grinned but it fell when you felt another nervous cramp in your stomach. “Can you please tell me what to expect? I might fall down at this rate, I’m very nervous.”

“I’ll catch you if you fall,” Yunho said and your heart lurched at the way he so casually said that. “Well, Strategy is nothing like the Cryptography Department. I’m not saying your bunch is relaxed but everyone is always tense in our department. You’ll see what I mean- just try not to speak unless you’re spoken to, and try to… stick with me.”

You made an impressed face. “Thank you.”

“Thank me later,” Yunho said and you exited the building, the evening sun casting a golden glance and making Yunho’s skin glow beautifully.

“Try not to stare at anyone if you can help it,” Yunho caught you looking and you felt like you could disappear- so much for training to be subtle. Yunho always caught you looking at him and that did nothing but worsen your unnecessary want to keep looking at him.

 “I don’t stare at just anyone! What do you take me for,” you almost mumbled. “You stare more than me.”

“That’s because I’m figuring you out.”

“Who says I’m not looking at you for that reason too?” You countered.

Yunho paused, stifling his smile. “Figuring people out is a part of my job, Aurora.”

Sure is.

“Figuring people out is a part of my personality,” you simply said.

“And would you say you have me figured out? With the amount of times I’ve caught you looking at me, I bet you have…”

“Are you…” you laughed. “Trying to flirt or something? And no I haven’t figured you out, you’re a hard nut to crack.”

The sound of Yunho’s laugh warmed your heart. “That wasn’t my intention, I’m just pointing it out!”

“Sure. Your ears are very red, by the way. You might want to do something about it before we enter your department.”

Yunho shook his head in amusement. “You… you’re really something, Aurora. Before we get in there, I’m offering you something- would you like to be a part of my team?”

You raised a brow. “Just like that?”

“I think I have figured you out enough to be able to make that decision,” he got serious. “Honestly, I almost did this a few days ago when you presented that framework. I found that it made things much easier. I think with your current findings… we’ll definitely have something.”

You considered for a moment, trying to figure out what the glint in his eyes meant. Was he actually impressed? Even if he was, which you supposed everyone was at this point, he definitely had some plans for you. You weren’t sure if you wanted to join his team or someone else’s in Strategy, but goodness, was he a breath of fresh air in this land that suffocated you to the core.

“Can I tell you my answer after we’re done for the day?” You asked and he nodded earnestly, motioning for you to follow him.

The first thing you noticed when you entered the department was the noise. There were people freaking out, to put it simply. Messages exchanged across the room, people rushing around with documents in their hands, superiors barking orders- a stark contrast to the comfortable silence of Cryptography. To reel you in from that mess, Yunho put a hand on your back to guide you across the hallway, leading you to the office upstairs.

“We’re meeting the supervisor. She’ll know what to do with you, and she might offer you something better as well. I know I would too, if I was her.”

“Well, that’s certainly relaxing,” you shivered and he grinned. “Let’s get it over with.”

With a knock, Yunho entered and bowed with you following suit. “This is Aurora from the Strategy Department.”

“Ah, the one you can’t shut up about?” The supervisor said- a very elegant middle-aged woman. You turned to Yunho who was yet again blushing from his ears. “I’m Dr. Angela Choi. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”

“The pleasure’s mine,” you said and took a seat.

“What do we have now?” Dr. Choi asked.

Yunho handed you whatever files he had and urged you to go ahead and explain. You straightened and knowing now was the time you needed to impress the Strategy Department, you fell into explaining the background of your approach first, briefing her about whatever progress you had made up until now.

“That’s certainly one way to look at it- more plausible than what we had so far,” Dr. Choi studied your framework. “I like this. Even if it doesn’t work, the approach you’re taking is fresh. Perhaps because you’re young?” She laughed.

“Come on, you’re not too old yourself,” Yunho laughed along and you could sense they were comfortable with each other. “Aurora, she’s… quick. Intelligent.”

“Yes, I think someone like her shouldn’t be hiding in Cryptography,” Dr. Choi seated back, looking relaxed. “Perhaps she should join our department. Maybe with the computer scientists? They’ve been trying endlessly to make their decryption devices more efficient. They just don’t have the right data to feed in. I’ll hand them this data- it could change the course of this war. You understand that, Aurora?”

“I do, but,” you looked around. “I expected this conversation to be more… tense.”

“I understand. I must seem very laid back, huh?” Dr. Choi smiled. “I haven’t sat in my office in ten days. I was occupied at the field, at the heart of all operations. Strategists have to be able to work well under pressure.”

“Not just the strategists…” you sighed. “It’s just very different here than in Mist Island.”

“Ah, yes, Mist Island. They were losing the war, weren’t they, until they joined us?” She asked and you nodded. “Those who have more to lose, they break under the idea itself. We have a lot to lose too, yes, but we’ve been winning this war for years now. It’s only a matter of time until it ends.”

You were genuinely impressed by her confidence, even though it disgusted you to the core how little they cared about the losing side. Dr. Choi continued. “We’ve created a somewhat relaxed and peaceful environment so our cryptographers, engineers, doctors and nurses don’t feel burdened. We give them deadlines, yes, but we, the strategists, take all of their burden. We don’t want anyone else to break under pressure or we’ll lose. So, how well can you handle pressure, Aurora?”

You looked at Yunho whose smile didn’t quite meet his eyes. You wondered why. “I can handle it well, Doctor.”

“Very well. Consider my offer but if you want to stick to your current department, that’s alright too. Mr. Jeong, if you can escort her back?”

“Yes,” he got up and bowed and you followed him outside, navigating out of the hustle until you exited the department and Yunho exhaled like he could finally breathe. 

“Care for a drink?”

“You must really want me to join your team,” you smiled and he shook his head in amusement. 

“I’m just really thirsty, but I’m also wondering what’s on your mind.”

You accepted and he took you to the cafeteria, taking the window seats. You looked at him. “Halaland must have an ace up their sleeve. I’ve seen what the losing side looks like and this is far from it.”

“Perhaps,” Yunho’s tone was cryptic. “Isn’t it good to be on the winning side?”

“That’s debatable too, but that’s also the reason I’m here,” you told him. No lies there. “What does your team offer?”

“Field work. Assessing the situation and taking steps accordingly. Guiding the cryptographers and the other departments. We make the decisions that could save lives, but our decisions are not always in our favour. And most importantly, in war there’s sacrifice. You understand what I mean, don’t you?”

You nodded, eager. You were so close to your destination now. “I like that, but tell me… do you always scout people like this?”

That took Yunho by surprise and he laughed and you couldn’t help but join. “You’re the first. I’ve never had to practically beg someone to join my team. Usually the higher-ups make that decision for me and I only decide if I want to keep them.”

“You might change your mind later,” you shrugged.

“I won’t know until I work with you though,” he sipped his coffee, scanning you. “So? Do you like Dr. Choi’s offer more?”

“I’ll join your team,” you said and watched how he relaxed a bit. “I don’t want to be holed up with the machines. That’s not my forte.”

“Do you mind me asking… who trained you before you came here?”

Your heart skipped a beat as the face of the Captain flashed behind your eyes. But you had another name to give- another mentor who was just like you, a spy who made his place here. “Dr. Kang who, I believe, is in the Medical Research Department here?”

Yunho raised a brow at that, surprised. “Dr. Kang trained you? He must have trained you for the Strategy Department then. Why begin with Cryptography?”

“He wasn’t sure I could handle it,” you placed your cup on the table. “And he might be right. We’ve all lost something in this war, haven’t we?”

Yunho unconsciously glanced at what was visible of the scar on your arm and you caught that, tugging your sleeve down which took him out of his trance. So he had noticed. He cleared his throat, meeting eyes with you. 

“We all have,” his voice was thick with emotion and you could tell he had lost something- or someone important too. “Well, let’s hope you can show Dr. Kang that you can handle more than he thinks.”

“Do you know Dr. Kang personally?” You asked, actually curious. There was no way-

“Kang Yeosang, right?” Yunho was smiling. “He’s an old friend. He got me here.”

Your heart sank. Yunho was Kang Yeosang’s old friend? Was he also a spy then? But… there was no way you could confirm that. And if he was not a spy for Utopia…

That meant he was more dangerous than you had thought. 

“Wow… what a coincidence,” you exhaled. “Yeah, it’s been a while since I met Dr. Kang. I hope I can see him soon.”

“He’s quite busy these days. Very hard to run into him now,” Yunho finished his coffee. “But tell you what- next time I have business in Medical Research, you may tag along.”

“Sure.”

“Is there a reason you aren’t mentioning that you have medical experience as well?” Yunho asked and you sighed internally- he really was testing you at every point. You wondered why. “I mean… I looked at your resume before making the decision to offer you a spot in my team. But you haven’t told me anything about your previous experiences at all.”

“Does it matter?” You asked. “Everyone in Mist Island was trained to gain some medical experience. I don’t like to go into the details, but the one who found me insisted it be mentioned.”

“Is there a reason behind that? You don’t have to tell me exactly what, I just want to know if you’re okay with medical field work if we’re required to do so in the future.”

“Yes, there is a reason why I don’t like mentioning it,” you told him. “Dr. Kang knows my history. If you trust him… you can trust me, can’t you?”

The way Yunho did not immediately agree told you he must know something- either about you or his old friend. You cleared your throat. “I’m okay with medical field work. I’m not the best but I can certainly assess the situation and act quickly.”

“That’s good enough,” Yunho grabbed his things from the table and you started getting up as well. “I won’t pressure you to do anything you do not want to, so when I offer you an assignment, you don’t have to worry about me firing you if you do not accept it because you’re uncomfortable. I only fire people who are-”

“A burden, a waste of resources, yes, I know the drill,” you finished for him and he grinned, walking with you outside.

“Well then. Pack your stuff, and I’ll see you tomorrow in Room no. 8 of the Strategy Department. Sleep well, Aurora.”

He was about to go but you grabbed his arm lightly and he paused, turning in surprise. “I haven’t thanked you for your kind offer.”

“Thank me later,” he winked and ran off, making you wonder just how you were supposed to thank him ‘later’.

—----------------------

Yunho was nothing like the person you had come to know in the past month when he was working. If you thought you knew him, you were so wrong.

You weren’t sure what surprised you more- the switch of character or the fact that you misjudged him. Perhaps because it was your first time interacting with someone outside of work first. Perhaps you should have expected it-

No. He was different.

He was a natural leader, you were finding. He was respected and possibly even feared by the fresh recruits- your fellows from Cryptography weren’t wrong about him. He took charge of the room, barked orders, maintained punctuality down to the seconds and wanted results. Quick. And anyone who couldn’t deliver was given an earful in private.

He told you he would cut you some slack only on your first day, like he did with everyone. You were no longer ‘Yunho’ and ‘Aurora’. He was ‘Sir’ and you were ‘Miss Han’ which put a strict distance between you. He did not joke around while working at all. You learned that he was right when he said he had to be on his toes, had to make important decisions and choose what to keep and what to sacrifice. 

It had been over a week now- you had shifted your dorms, the current room giving you the view of your former workplace but blocking the sun, which you didn’t mind. It was a bit more luxurious too and gave you better room for optimisation, but you had nothing much here anyway.

The emptier the better.

Yunho was the leader of your team- Team no. 8. He reported to Dr. Choi who reported to the Head of the Department. The decision-making usually fell to the higher-ups and the team leaders, and the working dynamics were good. You wondered if that was the reason Halaland was winning.

You wondered how Utopia was handling things- you missed home. You missed the smell of citrus in the air, back before the smell of smoke and blood became a norm. You missed the constantly cloudy but blue sky before it took on an eternal darkness- you were beginning to hate the sun here. 

You missed your family who were no longer here, gone together in the dead of night, leaving you forlorn in this world. You missed the new family you had found among the Crescents- even though they insisted attachment would do you no good, the Captain himself had been like a big brother to you. Perhaps because all of you had bonded over mutual loss that you found yourselves unable to not depend on each other, not find comfort in each other. They were home, no matter where you went after that. 

You didn’t realise how long you had been standing at the end of the corridor where the dorms were, at the only window in the building that faced west towards Utopia, scratching at the scar on your arm until you felt gentle fingers lace through your hand and place them softly on the window sill. 

Again, you were surprised for many reasons as you looked up at the man who was always there when you least expected him, whose footsteps were so silent yet presence so filling, whose gaze was so warm even when he put distance between you. He stood next to you, his hands right next to yours as he looked outside.

“I’m curious what part of this view exactly is so captivating that you’ve been standing motionless for so long,” he commented, peeking out with an unimpressed face. “All I see is barren land and a boring sky.”

“That’s exactly what I needed,” you said, glad your voice didn’t crack, glancing at what you had done- you never let the scar heal. You were always picking at the long gash somewhere. A reminder, you told yourself, though you didn’t need to hurt yourself to be reminded. It already hurt enough. “I didn’t want to be distracted by a pretty view.”

“Makes sense,” he turned towards you, glancing at the bleeding scar again. “Does that hurt?”

You didn’t expect him to inquire directly about the topic you both had danced around since you met. “Not really.”

“Doesn’t look like it,” he tsk-ed. “Do you have a first-aid kit in your room?”

“No?”

“You should have,” he looked disappointed. “I’ll ask someone to give you one. If you’re going to the field, you should definitely have a kit with you at all times.”

“But I’m not… or am I?” You narrowed your eyes and he stifled a smile. 

“I thought I’d ask you how your first week had been before offering you to join me,” he put his hands in the pockets of his black slacks. “Was it too much?”

“Not at all,” you glanced down again- it was starting to sting a little especially with the blood wanting to trail down-

“This won’t do,” Yunho sighed. “Come with me.”

“Where?”

“Just… stop questioning me for once and come with me,” he said and you thought you heard the tiniest bit of frustration in his voice so you followed him to the other end of the hall and realised he might be taking you to the men’s dorm. He unlocked the door to his room and you immediately felt like you were being hugged by him- the clean, almost aquatic scent of whatever product he used filled the room.

It was nice.

Yunho motioned to the couch and you glanced around before taking a seat- it looked as empty as your room, the only sign of living some clothes hanging around or food in the kitchen from where Yunho got his kit and came to sit beside you.

“I can do this-” 

“Let me,” he insisted, looking at you for permission and when you nodded, he took your arm and examined it, drawing your sleeve up hesitantly until it was above the elbow. He dipped some cotton in alcohol and cleaned it, the sting drawing your focus and when you winced, Yunho shook his head.

“You should stop picking at your scar if you want to work in the field,” he began, his voice low and thick now that he was so close. “It would be a shame if it got infected. I want my members in top condition, you understand?”

“Yes, Sir,” you answered and he grinned.

“I told you, it’s just Yunho for you- when we’re not working,” he insisted and you nodded. “You can ask me now. I can see you have questions.”

“What exactly will we be doing?”

“I cannot tell you until we’re on the mission,” he finished cleaning. “But we might have to travel a bit and transfer confidential data.”

“I guess I’ll join? I have nothing better to do.”

“Ay, are you saying your time at the department is a waste?”

“I mean- yeah, I could keep working but this would be better-”

Yunho laughed, wrapping a bandage around your arm and you pouted when you realised he was back to being the goofy senior you had come to know in your duration here. “I know what you mean, you don’t have to explain yourself. You’ll learn a lot from the field but you should know that everything we see, everything we observe is strictly confidential. You understand that, don’t you?”

“I do, and that’s why I am working here,” you told him and he liked your answer.

“There,” he tied the bandage. “I don’t want to see you picking at your scar again. If you feel like doing that again… come find me and I’ll distract you, okay?”

“Come find me,” you quoted back with a scoff, surprising him. “When you’re the busiest person I know? I thought you were friendly with me just to get me on your team, and then suddenly there’s this distance between us and you’re ‘Sir’ and I’m ‘Miss Han’ and you keep ordering me around and pushing me-”

You stopped when you saw how he was smiling, head resting on his hand, elbow propped on his leg. “What?”

“Carry on,” he urged. “I’m enjoying this.”

“I’m not,” you sighed, your heart suddenly aching at the sight of him- you were getting really annoyed at the way he made you ramble and had you expecting more when in fact, you should be anywhere but here-

“Just say that you missed me, Aurora.”

“As if,” you scoffed. “Thank you for the help. I’m going,” you said and got up but he grabbed your wrist, making you sit right back and you gaped at him as he failed to hold his smile, the smile that changed his entire face and made his eyes curve-

“Well, I definitely missed this,” he said but his eyes changed as he locked them with yours. “You can find me anytime you want. If it’s too much, if anything’s bothering you, you can find me, okay? I won’t let you down.”

You raised a brow. “Do you offer this to everyone?”

“Maybe? Some of it?” He wondered out loud, indicating he might not have offered this to anyone at all, for that matter. “My point is… I know we all have scars, Aurora. Not all are physical. The physical scars? They hurt more here, don’t they?” He pointed at his heart. “You’re… a part of my team now. I want your wits gathered. I want you relaxed because you’ve seen how tense the rest of my team is. I think I can depend on you if you can depend on me- and when we go on this mission, I’d be glad if I’m right about this.”

“Just say that you missed me too,” you laughed and he joined, realising he was still holding your wrist, letting it go gently. “Okay. I’ll try to find you next time.”

“Good,” he nodded, satisfied. “...good.”

You realised he was spacing out as his eyes travelled all across your face. You stared right back- at his kind eyes, at his incredibly charming face, at the way his hair fell on his forehead and when his eyes met yours, he held your stare for a moment too long before clearing his throat.

“Well, I’ll brief you tomorrow about the mission so you still have time if you want to change your mind. Think it over tonight, okay?”

“Okay,” you finally got up, straightening your clothes. “Thank you… for everything.”

Yunho smiled at that and you left for your room, staring at the bandage until you fell asleep.

—---------------------

It was two days later that you found yourself on the road with Yunho, travelling in a military car escorted by soldiers. You two were the only ones facing each other in the backseats but Yunho was currently busy going through some documents and you recalled the conversation you just had with him in the office.

Your colleague Hani, who had field experience, had briefed you about the clauses in your contract- what to do in case you found yourself in a compromising situation or if your life was being threatened in exchange for information. You had a strict non-disclosure agreement already signed, but this was a fresh reminder that anything could go wrong. 

And that your life had little to no value so you shouldn’t bother saving yourself by exchanging information. It was like this everywhere, but since it was the enemy you were now working for, you hated the idea of even getting a scratch for them, though the Captain had told you that you would be put in such a situation eventually. Today, you were going to play your part in a rehearsed skit. And today was all about your acting skills.

You touched the locket around your neck that Yunho had given you before leaving. He caught you tugging at it and you put it inside your uniform- all black with red details like Yunho’s. He cleared his throat. “Nervous?”

“A bit, but I’m fine,” you admitted. He was probably inquiring because the locket was your death sentence- a cyanide pill you could use only if all else failed. You recalled the moment when he had secured it around your neck himself and then put his hands on your shoulders, making you lock eyes with him.

“I’ll pray you never have to resort to a situation where you have to use this,” Yunho’s voice was firm. “If you’re in pain, you live through it. Think about your family, your friends, or whoever you’re fighting for. You make it back alive no matter how hard it is, you hear me?”

“Yes, sir.”

“But,” and this time, his voice was steel and gaze so harsh that you wondered if this was the same person who told you he could ask the government to provide funds for your gummy bear addiction. “If you think of betraying your team and someone loses their life because of you? I’d rather you have eaten the pill.”

Your heart sank dangerously and you recalled when the Captain had held you just like this and told you what fate you would meet if you ever betrayed them. You nodded firmly, once. “Of course.”

Immediately, his gaze softened and he patted your arm as he let go. “I know how hard it is to make a decision, especially when they have something on you. But the enemy, no matter how appealing their offer is, you do not give in, okay? If the pain really is too much to handle… I wish you’d live through it instead of opting for this solution.”

“I understand,” you nodded, pursing your lips. “I really do.”

Now, in the car with Yunho who scanned your face as if trying to figure out just what was going through your head, you decided to ask him. “What if we lose each other in the middle of the mission?”

“Glad you asked,” he sighed. “I’ll show you the points where we can gather as soon as we’re entering the town.

And when you did, he sat next to you, pointing at 5 random points that were chosen for today’s mission. He told you their strategy was to always have new points to gather at during every mission so nobody could snitch on them. When you finally reached Sector 1, Yunho made sure your bulletproof vest was secured under your uniform and you had no bugs on you- ‘protocol’, he called it, though you made sure he saw you scowl. You stopped at an old hospital that was now abandoned and got off, the harsh sun making you flinch and immediately wear your shades.

“This hospital used to be the heart of this town, before a bomb struck here,” Yunho told you and you nodded- you recalled that. It was a few years ago when Neverland managed to strike here and you always wondered how someone could be heartless enough to target a hospital.

It made sense later- Neverland, now Utopia’s ally but earlier the enemy, probably also got a whiff of whatever the hell was going on with Halaland’s Medical Research Departments. Innocent lives were lost but you hoped at least something had come out of it.

“I always wondered why anyone would target hospitals,” Yunho said out loud as if he had read your mind.

You cleared your throat. “Halaland targeted hospitals first. I hope you haven’t forgotten your history… Sir.”

Yunho glanced at you, eyes unreadable behind the shades. “Of course I remember. That’s why I said ‘anyone’. What do you think? Why would someone target the hospitals?”

A test, perhaps. You pretended to think. “Doctors… They’re the backbone of any war, and perhaps the most precious asset especially in war.”

Yunho nodded, satisfied. “It’s a low move. I don’t support that, but like I said, sometimes when you strategise, sacrifices must be made.”

“And what came out of sacrificing doctors?”

“That’s not for just anyone to know,” Yunho pointed to the backdoor and you followed him.

“So am I ‘just anyone’?” 

“As am I,” he sighed. “I’ve only heard something did come out of it, and something valuable was lost when this hospital was targeted. Pretty sure they weren’t talking about the doctors or the patients.”

You wondered if he really did not know or was pretending. You spotted a shadow behind the door and Yunho confirmed it was the man you were supposed to meet. He led you inside and the man met both your eyes before handing Yunho an envelope- the contents inside you referred to as ‘the key’. He turned to you and you handed him your key. With a nod, you parted ways and exited the hospital.

“That’s about it,” Yunho exhaled in relief. “A simple exchange of information. No words spoken. The information is not for our eyes nor can we interpret it. We’re only couriers.”

“So was that man a spy then?” You asked. “Do you receive information from other lands?”

“I don’t know who that is,” Yunho admitted and you believed him. “But I reckon he must be. You wouldn’t make such a fuss for a local.”

You started driving back, pretending to be relieved that the mission was over when in fact, you were counting the minutes.

And then it happened- you heard the sound of a gunshot and you flinched even when you saw it coming. The soldier escorting you spoke in the radio to make sure everything was clear, but-

“We have a tail, Sir- 2 SUVs. We’re waiting for your orders.”

You looked at Yunho who dared to peek outside before calling in his radio, “Turn west. We’re taking Route no. 3. Provide cover-”

Another gunshot and this time you had to cover your ears and crouch down out of instinct as the windshield shattered. Yunho’s eyes were wide with horror as he took in the sight of the shot driver, the soldier frantically trying to steer the car while putting one hand on the wound on the driver’s chest. You straightened and looked at Yunho.

“I can either drive or provide medical attention- or fight back. What do you want me to do, Sir?”

“How good is your aim?”

You let the faintest hint of a smirk grow on your lips. “Good enough, Sir.”

With that, you dragged the driver’s body to the backseat with the soldier’s help who immediately put pressure on the wound and checked the pulse. Yunho crawled to the driving seat and you borrowed the soldier’s rifle and examined the situation- one of your escort cars was down and you only had one at your front and on your right now. 

So you waited until you sighted the tail- a black SUV. You aimed for the tires and shot once, twice, hitting the mark on your second shot which gave the escort car behind you a chance to shoot at the passengers. You broke the rest of the windshield with the butt of your rifle to clear your view, surprising Yunho, and sat on the frame to take another shot, managing to break their windshield this time. They fell back and the escort cars provided cover. The soldier honked and the three of your cars picked speed, the one behind you shooting aggressively. It seemed to have worked and you lost your tail, managing to follow the designated route.

You slid back to your seat, turning to check if you could assist in any way but it was too late- the soldier looked grim as he met eyes with you.

“He was gone within a minute.”

You bit your lips, wondering if you could have saved him had you not been selfish and hesitant about practising medical attention on people anymore. You glanced at Yunho who was clenching his jaw. With a sigh, you rested on the seat as you calmed yourself down from the adrenaline and braced yourself for whatever was about to happen next.

The drive was pretty much silent until you reached the Research Centre, a medical team ready to take the people who lost their lives in the mission. You learned that two other soldiers had died. After paying your respects, you escorted Yunho to your department where the supervisor, Dr. Choi was waiting.

“I heard it went well,” she said and you raised a brow, glancing at Yunho who appeared tense.

“We lost three soldiers today.”

“But you have the key?” She asked, referring to what you had received from the supposed-spy.

Yunho didn’t say anything, just handed the key to the doctor and she didn’t open it. She looked at you. “Report.”

You swallowed. “We had no tail until after we left the hospital. About 800 metres on Route no.1, we received the tip from Escort Car no. 3 about the tail. As soon as Mr. Jeong ordered us to embark on Route no. 3, our driver was shot and we had to improvise. The soldier with us went on to provide medical attention to him while Mr. Jeong drove and I attacked. I managed to puncture their tire and shoot through their windshield which Escort Car no. 2 informed us, helped eliminate one of the 5 passengers in the black SUV without a plate. That’s when we lost them and continued our return.”

“I see. Anything you’d like to add to that, Mr. Jeong?” 

“I’ll let you make the conclusion,” Yunho answered, looking like he could kill her. “I don’t know if it’s my position to say this but maybe you should take a look at who’s friend and who’s foe again. No one other than me knew our meeting point. Me and the person we were meeting.”

Dr. Choi shifted in her seat, looking amused. “You’re telling me that I should look into that person and you?”

Yunho shrugged. “I think you know exactly what I meant.”

You poked your tongue in your cheek as you looked back and forth between them. They were practically having a stare down and Dr. Choi finally nodded slowly. Yunho said he would take his leave now, leaving you alone with the supervisor who simply smiled.

“He gets like this when a mission doesn’t go smoothly.”

“I see,” you nodded slowly. So it had happened before. “Anything I should do, Dr. Choi?”

“Let’s see,” Dr. Choi opened the envelope and skimmed through the contents. “Not for now, no. You can take the rest of the day off. You did well.”

—-----------------------

Though your mission today had gone exactly the way you had wanted to- a successful exchange of information followed by an attack, staged by the Crescents just so you could prove you were indeed someone who could be trusted- a test, you realised now, from the Crescents as well- you still felt unsatisfied for a number of reasons.

Firstly, you had not expected the driver of your own car to get shot. You could very well have been hurt as well. You still felt guilty about not caring enough to provide medical assistance- the soldier, you were sure, only knew the basics. You could have saved him. You felt partially responsible for that loss.

You were also worried about just who in Crescents lost their lives in the mission today. You prayed it was no one you knew, but the thought that they were risking their lives like this upset you even when you had seen them go to more dangerous missions and not return. Now that you were a part of this, it stung more.

And then there was Yunho. His reaction to the dead soldier didn’t surprise you- you knew now that he was a compassionate soul no matter how stern and cold he might seem at times. But it was his behaviour with Dr. Choi that surprised you more- was it her nonchalance towards the lives lost that put him off or was it something else?

You had roamed around after getting the day off when it was already almost time for dinner. You met your teammates from Cryptography and checked their progress and they had a good laugh over how far you had come and if you’d last any longer. However, when you headed to your room, you spotted Yunho standing by the window you had met a few days earlier. Your heart tugged at the sight and you considered ignoring him and heading to your room but you wanted to know what was going through his mind right now.

You wanted to figure him out so bad that it was driving you a little crazy, and that was not good. Not in this field.

Cautiously, you walked to him and though he sensed you coming, he didn’t move until you stood next to him, hands on the sill right beside his, so near they could touch. You looked at the view.

“Not a very captivating view, is it?”

A trace of a smile danced on his lips though he maintained his composure. You stifled a sigh and dared to look at him- he looked so very tired and you wondered if he was exhausted due to the events of today or just tired of wearing his mask. Whatever it was, this was the first time you saw such emotions in his eyes.

“I know you offered to me that I could come find you whenever I felt like picking at my scar again,” you began, ignoring your subconscious that sounded a lot like the Captain cursing at you. “I thought I’d offer you the same. I should have offered it that day, but…”

“Thank you, Miss Han, but-”

“That’s Aurora for you-”

“-I’m not picking at my scars-”

“Scars of the heart,” you reminded him before he could tell you to bug off. He looked at you, hair a mess and over his eyes, still in his uniform with quite a few buttons undone and wondering just what your deal was. You gave him a tight-lipped smile. “Have you had dinner yet?”

When he didn’t respond, you tsk-ed. “Do you want to have some ramen? I’ve heard I make killer ramen.”

Yunho finally gave in and scoffed, urging you to lead the way, following you to your room and you almost shut the door behind you when you realised he was still waiting outside.

“Aren’t you coming in?”

“I thought you were going to take the ramen or whatever to the dining hall?”

“Just… come in. I have better snacks,” you told him.

He shook his head. “Of course you do.”

You asked him to make himself comfortable while you went into the kitchen and started cooking. Yunho took that as a sign to roam around in your space- empty walls just like his, the only sign of life the clothes on one chair-

And the unholy amount of the unhealthiest snacks he had ever seen lining the kitchen shelves. He sat on the two-seater table next to the kitchen, watching you cook. “Do you even eat normal food?”

You glared at him, not bothering to respond, focusing on the ramen while he rested his chin on his hand as he watched you until you settled down, scooping some ramen for him and cracking open two beers. You clicked your drinks and ate in silence. He was probably still sorting his thoughts, you reckoned. 

It wasn’t until he was finished, drinking his second can of beer that he finally exhaled deeply. You didn’t push, just relaxed back as you swirled your can lazily.

“Thank you for the meal, Aurora. It’s very kind of you.”

“You sound way too formal, Yunho,” you sighed.

“And you sound like me, I’m realising,” he put his head in his hands as he laughed a little. “I must have sounded like this that day, huh?”

“Now you know,” you teased.

He sighed again. “I don’t know what went wrong today. It’s happened before and I’m not even surprised,” he admitted and you nodded. “I’m just… I should have known that no one would give two shits about the lives lost today. All they care about is getting their hands on whatever information can cause the most destruction.”

“‘In war there is sacrifice’,” you quoted him and he lifted his head to look at you.

“I know. But I’m human too.”

“I understand,” you said and he wasn’t surprised at your grim tone.

There were a few moments of silence as you both sorted your thoughts out. “It’s not your fault, about the driver. You couldn’t have saved him even if you wanted to- not with that wound.”

You looked at him- how could he know just what you were feeling when he himself was a mess?

“Neither was it your fault about the events of today,” you countered. “We’re simply couriers. It’s the higher-ups who gave us the orders, knowing the risks. They should feel responsible about the loss.”

“They never do,” Yunho clenched his eyes shut as if a memory pained him. You let him have a moment and he opened his eyes, locking them with yours.

“Listen, Aurora. What happened today should not have happened, but this was your first mission. I’m proud of how you handled it.”

Your heart sank in guilt but you nodded. “Thank you.”

“I do want to keep you as my teammate, but… it’s only getting uglier as the days pass. The higher-ups have stopped caring about the lives lost as long as they get what they want. If you do not want to do this at any point, you let me know, okay? I don’t want to take you to a mission and risk losing you because you didn’t have a clear head.”

“Why can’t you do the same?” You dared to ask and he looked confused. “You could stop going to these missions too. Clearly this has happened before, and you look distraught. You could hang back too, Yunho-”

“I can’t-”

“I’m sure there are other teams that could go-”

“I really can’t,” Yunho locked eyes with you and you paused. 

He can’t? 

“Why?” You asked and when he remained silent, you knew then.

You knew that he was bound. Just like you, or maybe worse. You were bound to the Crescents and even though they had good intentions, they had promised you hell if you backed off anytime during your stay here. But what was holding Yunho back?

“Then don’t bury it in,” you countered. “I don’t want to go on another mission with you if you don't have a clear head.”

“Look at you ordering me around, Aurora.”

You matched his glare and he ended up looking down, his smile widening. You shared a chuckle as well. “I’m just looking out for myself, Sir.”

“There you go,” he scoffed in amusement. You stared at him for a few moments before you got up and started clearing the table, coming back to pick the cans but Yunho caught your wrist, folding your sleeve up to examine your scar that was still healing from all the scratching you had done before Yunho had bandaged it for you two days ago.

“This better be healed by the end of the week,” he muttered, tracing the skin near the scar from the elbow all the way down. 

“This will heal on its own,” you said. “But how do we heal the scars of our heart, Yunho?”

“I wouldn’t know that,” he barely whispered and it was the most broken you had heard him, or anyone, sound. Your heart ached deeply and with your free, now trembling hand, you touched the side of his face lightly as if to tell him that you didn’t either. That you understood it all too well. He kept staring up at you, his grip on your wrist loosening and you brought that hand up as well as you held his face, taking your time as you caressed the strands of his hair away from his face. You were positive your loud heart could be heard for miles but you didn’t care, not at that moment. 

When you were done shifting some of his hair away from his forehead, you leaned down and kissed his forehead, the first time you had kissed someone in years, the first kiss of affection after the tragic event that took your family’s life. Yunho sighed deeply and when you drew back, you rested your forehead on the top of his head for a moment.

“I know something is eating you up and making you do things you do not want to, but,” you drew back, locking eyes with him. “I want you to know that I’m with you, beside you, wherever you go from here. You’re not alone, Yunho. Don’t lose yourself. You can get through this and I’m here for you whenever you need me, understand?”

There was wonder in his eyes. Wonder and an incredible sadness. He nodded slowly and you smiled slightly, patting his cheek before turning away and picking the cans up, going to throw them in the trash can. Yunho got up, straightening his clothes.

“I- I should get back now.”

You raised a brow at the stutter and noticed his flushed cheeks and ears. “Sure. See you tomorrow.”

Yunho nodded, unmoving for a good few moments before he awkwardly turned to go and almost reached the door when he turned again.

“I might be asking too much but can I have a pack of your gummy bears? I feel like I’ll need them tonight.”

The laugh that left you came from somewhere so deeply buried that even Yunho couldn’t help but join, smiling widely at the sound that filled the room. You nodded and brought him a packet, still recovering.

“You can stop now, you know,” he said, embarrassed.

“I just,” you sighed, chuckling again. “It was so out of the blue, it caught me off guard. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t look sorry, Aurora,” he countered and you laughed a bit harder, putting a hand over your mouth as you waved at him to leave already. He thanked you before leaving, saying he wouldn’t want a madman on his team and you went to your room, your laugh fading with each passing moment until it turned into an unknown feeling so overwhelming that you sat down on the floor, burying your head between your arms and crying silent tears.

—-----------------------

Something between you and Yunho had shifted ever since that night.

You were still Mr. Jeong and Miss Han during work hours, and he was still the same strict boss of your team, however, he had a hint of affection in his eyes whenever he looked at you. Maybe it was from the shared experience from that mission. Maybe it was the way you now knew you had secrets that you kept from each other, only allowing the other to know there was, in fact, something. Maybe it was something about that night when you shared a moment of vulnerability. 

You didn’t know what exactly it was, but it was messing you up and that was not good. You remind yourself every night that you are a Crescent. You answer to the Captain. You’re on a mission, and your goal is to uncover what’s going on in the Medical Research Department through any means necessary.

Involving yourself with Yunho is only a risk, and yet… you couldn’t help but be selfish. You could justify it as a means to get to Medical Research as much as you wanted, but you knew deep down that there was another factor and you could not dismiss it. It didn’t matter, you supposed, as long as nothing was done about it, but Yunho’s words rang in your ears:

“But I’m human too.”

Those words tangled around you like a spider’s web that you couldn’t shake off. They haunted you at night when you tried to sleep. And they were following you like a shadow right now, on your way to meet Seonghwa in the darkest hour of the night, this time in the Cryptography Department’s cafeteria where you could always come up with the excuse of ‘missing the food’ if someone spotted you. 

You sat at the far end of the room, waiting for Seonghwa to come as you opened a pack of gummy bears, already plagued by the memory of Yunho- you seemed to be associating a lot with him these days. Seonghwa entered, silent as a pin and settled across from you.

“I hope you’ve been doing well,” he asked.

“Thriving, really,” you muttered and he raised a brow at that attitude. You cleared your throat.

“All well at home?” You dared to ask.

“Seems so,” he was chewing gum rather loudly. “All well at yours?”

“Seems so.”

“How long till you can get to your goal?”

“If you don’t push some strings, maybe a while,” you thought out loud.

“We don’t have the luxury of time anymore, Aurora.”

You paused. Something had happened. “Then push some strings.”

He glared at you for a few moments before sighing. “Prepare yourself. You’ll be meeting your mentor soon.”

“Got it,” you got up, ready to leave.

“And Aurora?” He called.

“Yeah?”

“Keep your distance from the enemy, will you?”

For a moment, you wanted to scratch at his face and ask him who, exactly, was the enemy here. It was the same in Utopia, the same here- the higher-ups not caring for the lives lost as long as they could get something out of it. And what were they doing to contribute to the war other than add more fuel to the flame? You were starting to question who exactly you were working for. Of course, you were ultimately doing this for Utopia, but you wanted to gut the people who sent you here too. Not the Captain, no- he only trained you. The ones who controlled him, and the ones who controlled them. 

The Captain- he only dared to question them once, and you remember seeing him at his lowest then when they took away something precious from him. You didn’t know what- you didn’t need to either. You could see it- everyone could. And it was the same here, with Yunho. He was just a puppet in this horrible, horrible game.

“I am,” you practically spat, knowing he must have spotted you hanging around with Yunho casually. “And you remember who the enemy is, will you?”

With that, you left the department, feeling like you were being choked and when you entered your department you paused-

Was someone following you?

You turned but there wasn’t a soul in sight. You didn’t dismiss it as just a feeling though. You could never be too careful around here. 

Someone had seen you come from the Cryptography Department, which meant you were being watched. You scoffed to yourself as you went inside your room and resisted the urge to peek out of your window. 

No more meetings with Seonghwa. You were on your own now.

—-------------------------

Things were getting tense at the department, to put it simply.

You were starting to wonder if it was simply because of the information you and Yunho had received that day which was somehow important enough to shift the power balance of the war, or if it was because Yunho had dared to question the higher-ups on their lack of regard for the sacrifices in this war.

You were positive it was the latter- especially with the way Yunho was starting to look so weary. Your seniors were also being harsher on your team, going as far as to cut down on your break hours. Yunho kept looking apologetic which made your suspicions stronger. Nothing seemed to cheer him up anymore.

You were staring at him from across the room, ignoring the pile of documents in front of you as you binged on your usual choice of snack, wondering if you should go ahead and ask just what was going on when a knock sounded and Dr. Choi entered, looking grim.

“Prepare for a group mission- we have to retrieve a person now, so make sure you gear up properly- 2 of you on the field while 3 of you stay back and monitor.”

Yunho looked as confused as the rest and when he got up to ask, Dr. Choi raised her hand. “I just got notified moments ago. Apparently they’re not pleased with what happened on your last mission, though I hardly believe that’s the reason. Just… get it over with and then we’ll speak.”

“Not pleased with what happened on our last mission,” Yunho repeated with a scoff. “All we did was follow orders and stick to protocol.”

You could see the slightest hint of pity in the doctor’s eyes before she sighed. “I know. I’m only obeying orders here too. You’ll be briefed on your way there. You have 20 minutes.”

With that, Dr. Choi exited and Yunho met your eyes. You pursed your lips, shrugging. It seemed like you had no choice. Stuffing the unfinished gummy bears in your pocket, you stood and went to him.

“You and me on the field. Who else are we taking?”

Yunho hesitated for a moment. “I’d rather you stick back as the monitor this time.”

You slumped, bored. “You know I can fight, Sir. Come on, make a decision.”

“I-” he hesitated again and your heart ached as he looked down. You wished you could ask him what the matter was. “I don’t want to see any of you get hurt if things go south.”

“Dr. Choi said two on the field, Yunho, in case you were thinking of going alone this time.”

Yunho raised a brow at the way you called his name and how you knew exactly what he was thinking. He gave in, nodding. “Fine, but you only cover me, okay? No offence.”

“Can’t promise, but okay,” you shrugged and he shook his head, getting up and calling Hani, Jongho and Chris- his most skilled. “You remember the drill, right?”

“Definitely,” Jongho grinned and Yunho seemed to relax a bit after seeing his teammates in better spirits than himself. He set the timer and all of you disappeared in the locker room, getting dressed in the uniform with bulletproof vests underneath. You checked your guns and were about to leave when a knock sounded on the door. You opened it expecting Hani but were surprised to see Yunho instead. 

“Done?” He asked and you nodded. “Can I come inside?”

Your heart sank and you gave him some space to enter in the relatively tiny room. Yunho wasted no time, digging into his pocket and producing a bunch of bullets and placing them in your palm. “This could get me fired or worse, but I need you to take these in case things don��t look good. Hide them on yourself.”

You raised a brow, counting them- 5. “This isn’t official,” you said and he nodded. “And what makes you think I won’t snitch right now?”

The way Yunho simply smiled- almost smirked- told you that there was a reason he needed you on his team. “You can go ahead and do that if you want to.”

Something unspoken passed between you two as you stared at each other and you finally hid the bullets in your inside pocket, making him roll his eyes in amusement before he left. For extra measure, you stocked more on the daggers before following him outside.

You learned on your way that one of the doctors from Medical Research had gone missing a few days ago and was reported to have been sighted in the west in a cabin near the enemy lines. You suspected it was the Crescents again, and to confirm your suspicions you spotted Seonghwa on your way out who saluted mockingly when he met your eyes. You had not expected it to be this soon after your previous mission and you wondered if something had truly gone wrong this time.

During the half an hour drive after which you were to travel on foot, Hani set up the radios and Jongho and Chris prepared to defend the rest in case they were attacked. This time, there were no escorts, no military cars, no soldiers- nothing that would alert the enemy. After reaching the end of the road, you and Yunho stepped out and Hani checked your equipment once again.

“If I lose your signal, I’ll assume you’re in trouble and wait exactly 2 minutes before I send one of them to inspect,” Hani said and Yunho nodded in approval. “If you lose our signal, you should proceed with the mission and come back when you’re done- if we’re under attack, you’ll know- I’ll fire a signal. In that case…”

“In that case, we’ll abort the mission,” Yunho said and Hani shook her head.

“Dr. Choi specifically asked us to retrieve the doctor at all costs. You do know what they mean by that, don’t you?”

“I don’t care what she said,” Yunho countered. “I don’t think we can make it back if you all are under attack anyway.”

Hani pursed her lips, looking at you for help. “Knock some sense into him, will you, Aurora?”

You shrugged. “If you’re under attack, I can come and help. You, Sir, can carry on with your mission- or we could switch these roles.”

Yunho sighed in disbelief. “I can’t believe I’m the one being reminded of protocol.”

Hani grinned. “We all have our times, Yunho. Now get your ass on the field, both of you. I’m starting the clock.”

You whistled at the friendly banter. Yunho checked on his weapons one last time before motioning for you to follow him and you took a moment to run your eyes over the expanse- all dead trees and barren ground. If you squinted, you could see the faint silhouette of the marked border between Utopia and Halaland, with armed officials prowling in the area.

“Aurora?”

Home. So near yet so far away.

“You coming?” Yunho asked and you realised you were still staring in the direction of your homeland. You jogged to him, matching his pace when you fell in step with him, peeking at the map in his hands.

“Are you sure you have a clear head right now, Aurora?” Yunho asked.

“Yeah, sure, I was just… admiring the scenery.”

“Admiring the scenery?” Yunho scoffed, craning his neck to see just what about the scenery was so interesting.

“I was wondering,” you changed the topic. “Why send us to the field to retrieve a doctor? Why not the soldiers?”

“Aren’t we all soldiers, fighting for something?” Yunho mused and you narrowed your eyes at him. “Okay, they usually don’t send the soldiers so the other departments don’t get a whiff of what’s going on in Medical Research.”

“What exactly is going on there?” You asked, finding Yunho with a strange, knowing expression on his face. You gulped. “I’m assuming you know if they sent you?”

“I don’t know either,” he sighed deeply. “I just know there is something. I’ve heard it could help with winning the war. Only the higher-ups know. I’m nobody.”

“Well… that certainly sounds suspicious, but then again, there’s always some secret in every department, I suppose,” you let out a short laugh and he agreed. “So they’re afraid the doctor might snitch? Will they even let him live if we manage to get him back?”

“That is… a very good question. We might be taking him to death’s door if we retrieve him,” he clicked disappointingly. “But we don’t know anything, so we can’t assume and make these decisions. I think the Strategy Department, us, we’re trusted enough to retrieve him. We have the skills, and who would we snitch to anyway? Pretty sure they’d know if there was a spy among us.”

You shrugged and Yunho pointed in the distance, spotting a couple of cabins bordering the town. “That’s our destination. You ready?”

You nodded and walked in silence the rest of the way. When you reached the first cabin, you were about to go around the structure to inspect when Yunho grabbed your wrist.

“You’re only covering, remember?” 

“That’s not how this works-”

“That’s an order,” he insisted, looking slightly amused that only confused you further and you rolled your eyes, snatching your wrist away with a pout that he chuckled at before taking the lead.

With guns out, you went around the first cabin and then inside, finding no signs of life. The second cabin was just as empty and you were inside it now, watching the third from the window when you spotted movement.

“Uh, Sir?” You called and he turned around. “I’m spotting movement in that cabin.”

Yunho urged you to follow him, asking you to go around and stand by the window so the target couldn’t escape- if it was indeed the target. You signalled your team about the cabin. Yunho motioned at you that he was going inside and you provided cover as he unlocked the door-

“No-”

You turned at the strangle of a voice that left Yunho who ran towards the man- the target- who had just swallowed something you were assuming must be a pill, and before you could help them or react, you spotted someone else in the next room and pointed your gun at them.

“Drop your weapons, right now-”

You paused when recognition flashed across the man’s face and your heart sank dangerously. Before you could signal one or the other, the man moved his aim from you to Yunho and prepared to shoot.

Maybe it was instinct or something else that possessed you to take the bullet for Yunho, you mused, as you wondered why the person you had once called friend and had trained with- spared you. Out of familiarity? Out of regard? 

Burning pain overwhelmed every other sense in your body as the bullet lodged into your arm and Yunho was quick to shoot at the man, missing by an inch but probably grazing his leg given how he seethed before hiding. You clenched your eyes shut and opened them, forcing the cloud of pain away. “Save the target, I got him-” 

“No, you’re hurt-”

“I said, save the target.”

Yunho frowned at your tone and you didn’t give him another option as you loaded your gun and started for the room the man had hid himself in- he was at a dead end- this room had no window or other means of exit. You spotted him standing in the corner, gun aimed at you.

“It’s been years-”

You shot at his leg before he could speak further, earning a howl from him. One glance at Yunho to confirm that you got this, you moved towards the man and pressed the muzzle against his forehead.

“What are you doing here? What did you do to the doctor?”

“I was saving him,” he spat on your boot and you clenched your jaw. “You know that.”

You glanced behind and got closer. “Did the Captain send you?”

The man scoffed. “And what if he did? Why are you here?”

“He got me here, in case you forgot,” you seethed. “And he got you in this mess. Remember that.”

“What are you gonna do, huh? Kill your old-”

You heard the familiar footsteps of Yunho and with your eyes closed shut as if that could undo everything you were about to do, you shot your old friend, his body going limp and falling with a thud against the wall. You finally opened your eyes, bending down to shut his eyes with trembling hands.

The footsteps grew closer and you felt a pair of hands on your shoulders. You didn’t care at that moment. You turned to him and said, “Call the team, please. I’ll stay here.”

Yunho nodded, giving you space and leaving the room. With glazed eyes, you placed a hand on your old friend’s cheek, noticing a silver glint around his neck and you dug out what was a necklace with his code name carved on it- KB. You smiled at that, recalling when he had showed you the necklace a few years ago, very proud of it. You searched his pockets but found nothing significant so you just slumped next to him, ignoring the pain in your arm until Yunho came again, having alerted the team.

With his dagger, he cut a piece of his shirt and tied it around your arm where you were still bleeding out. You only stared into the distance, your ears ringing with the sound of the gunshots. When he was done, he patted your arm again.

“Come on, they’re here.”

With a deep sigh, you got up and exited the room, noticing the doctor with foam around his mouth. “Cyanide pill?”

“Seems so,” he said. “I’ll tell you the details later, okay? You should get treated first.”

“Just tell me this was not a waste,” you turned to him, lips quivering. “Tell me all of this was not a waste.”

Pain flashed across his eyes but he nodded. “It was not, trust me. I cannot tell you right now,” he glanced behind him at his team approaching them and you understood. “But I have something. And it’s not for the higher-ups to hear. You understand?”

Somehow, the cloud of pain cleared then. You understood. You looked back at the doctor. “Mind if I check something?”

“Go ahead,” he said and you checked his neck for something similar to a chain. Yunho coughed and you looked at him- he patted his pocket in answer. You nodded and proceeded to check the room, taking anything you thought would prove significant while Jongho and Chris packed the bodies and loaded them in the car- protocol. Proof that you were not lying, though you were pretty sure one of them directly answered the higher-ups and it was not Yunho, which meant-

You almost ran outside and looked into the distance, running your eyes across the expanse and it was then you spotted the tiniest movement in the cabin in front of you.

Eyes. They had eyes and ears everywhere. Both the Crescents and Halaland’s own spies. The question though, was…

Just who had watched everything that had just happened?

—------------------------

You had a few scenarios of how you could get into the Medical Department- either infiltrate with your ‘spy skills’ and risk getting caught, or have Seonghwa pull some strings so you could go for something like an ‘inspection’, or the personal favourite- attack. 

However, you never thought you’d get access simply because you got shot during a mission. 

It was surprising because every department did have their own little emergency room with the basic first aid stuff. It was probably because you had to report, and what place better to report the death of the doctor than the very department he worked in?

“Let her get treated first,” Yunho insisted, “And then we’ll report.”

“We don’t have time to spare, Mr… Jeong, is it?” The middle-aged man with an arrogant look that had to be his staple shrugged. “Besides, it looks like a simple gunshot wound.”

You could feel that Yunho was mentally and physically reaching his limit as he tried to reason with who you recognised was the supervisor of the Medical Research Department- both the restricted and the secret one, the restricted being his cover for the public. You cleared your throat, wanting to get this over with. “I think we can report first- I can hold on for a while-”

“No,” Yunho said with a tone of finality and glared at you first before glaring at the supervisor. “My partner will be treated first and foremost. You, of all people, Dr. Kim, should understand that.”

Dr. Kim groaned before ordering the staff to escort you to the treatment room. You got stitched up after being administered painkillers and you had to stuff a few gummy bears in your mouth for the instant sugar rush or else you were positive you would have fainted. You were just being administered another IV when you heard a very familiar voice. 

“I got this from here, thank you.”

You watched the nurses leave and a familiar blonde come closer, checking on your IV. You almost gasped and he stifled his smile as he checked your vitals. 

“Not how I expected to see you but oh well,” he whispered and you grinned. 

“Not how I planned to get here either,” you said. “It’s so good to see you, Yeosang.”

“Likewise, Aurora,” he smiled before glancing around. “Tell me what happened.”

You briefed him as quickly as you could, handing him the necklace that belonged to KB. He nodded grimly and when you told him about spotting someone who must have been watching you, he nodded in confirmation.

“It’s been a while since Yunho fell out of their good graces. I bet they’re making sure he doesn’t make more mistakes.”

“What did he do?” You asked.

“He tried digging into the secrets of the Research Department after the Utopians were expelled from this centre,” he revealed and you were genuinely impressed and confused. “He had many Utopian friends and some of them disappeared without a trace.”

“Are they messing him up on purpose?” You dared to ask. “First the attack on our previous mission, and now this…”

“That’s not how they mess you up,” Yeosang tsk-ed. “That’s just misfortune. Anyways, your report better match Yunho’s or you’ll be the one who might become their target. And Aurora?”

“Yeah?”

“Stay safe. Remember your motive. Don’t trust the enemy. And… we don’t have much time. You barely have a week before we sign Utopia for a loss it will never recover from.”

Your heart sank yet again and you nodded furiously, understanding the gravity of the situation now that you heard it from someone who worked in the secret lab himself. He was about to leave when you called him and mouthed ‘stay safe’. 

Thankfully, Yunho gave his report in front of your team and all you had to do was follow up with your story, omitting the part where you knew the identity of the man you killed. After signing a few documents, you were allowed to leave and Yunho said he had someone to meet, asking Hani to make sure you go right to your room and rest.

Hani did just that, going as far as to help you take off your clothes so you could wash up while she cooked you some ramen, commenting on the lack of your healthy food choices. You smiled- she was such a mother not just to you but to everyone in your team. She did leave when dinner was ready and you had time to sort your thoughts out, enough time to recall what happened today.

You took a bullet for the enemy.

Could you call Yunho ‘the enemy���? Yunho, the person who cared with all his heart, the person who did serve the enemy, the one who would have taken a bullet for you too just because that is who he was. And Yeosang’s revelations had only confused you further about him- you should have just asked him if Yunho was the enemy.

But perhaps, he was just as confused as you were. Yunho had dared to dig into something so big. What stopped him? You understood that he was brilliant and after losing so many skilled Utopians, they couldn’t afford losing their own. But… what, exactly, made him stop? What did they have over him that was eating him alive because he could do nothing about it? The fact that these unsuccessful missions were simply misfortune (though one was staged) meant that they had something else over Yunho.

What could it be? A secret? Blackmail? Family?

You shut your eyes as you tried recalling his file that you had memorised, just like every other file on the employees of this department-

A knock sounded and you opened your eyes, wondering if your ears were still ringing. But when another knock sounded, this time louder, you got up and hesitantly opened the door-

To reveal Yunho. 

“You look like a mess… Sir,” you scanned him- messy hair, buttons undone, uniform torn from where he had cut it earlier for you, smudges of dirt and possibly blood on his exposed skin. “What brings you here?”

“Just wanted to make sure Hani didn’t kill you on her way here,” he scoffed. “Can I… come in?”

You nodded and he stepped in, awkwardly glancing around and you urged him to take a seat. You offered him dinner but he refused and you wondered if you could insist but handed him a chocolate bar instead and he accepted it, asking you just what happened during the mission.

“I found these,” you put your hand under the sofa and extracted a few pages. “Not sure what they mean but they might make sense to you.”

Yunho finished eating and examined the papers. “Medical terms I’m not quite familiar with. What do you reckon they say?”

“I don’t know, all these terms seem foreign to me,” you admitted- it wasn’t the entire truth. “You have someone who could translate it for us?”

“I’ll think about it. Shall I take these then?”

“Go ahead,” you said and he folded them neatly before putting them in his pocket. “Did the doctor say something before he… died?”

Yunho sighed deeply, rubbing his face. “I asked him why he gave up on his life at the sight of me. It’s my uniform- he recognised it. He only said that he did not want to go back and that he would prefer death.”

“‘Prefer death’,” you repeated. “That’s… something must have happened?”

“Yeah, I don’t know anymore,” Yunho slumped back. “I’m not sure I can investigate either.”

“Why?” You dared ask.

Yunho looked at you. “Do you have something to lose, Aurora?” You shook your head and he smiled. “Then you are very lucky.”

“What will you lose?” Your voice was almost a whisper and he looked down.

“Four years ago when we declared war on Utopia,” he began, “I lost a lot of friends. Some moved. Some went missing. When I tried tracing them, I always found myself at the Medical Research Department. I asked myself- why would someone missing be there when they didn’t have any relationship with the Medical Department whatsoever?”

“Oh, goodness,” you sighed and he nodded.

“I still don’t know why exactly- what exactly is going down there. I don’t know who to trust. When they realised I was digging in, they drafted my brother into the army so they could hold that over me. And after the previous mission, they threatened to place him within the enemy lines, where the war and the bloodshed is the thickest. I suppose they’ll do that now.”

“That’s… inhumane,” you breathed. No matter if Yunho was the enemy, that was still inhumane- to hold family against you. “They’re controlling you.”

“They’re controlling everyone here,” Yunho scoffed. “You cannot trust anyone.”

You raised a brow and he looked at you as if having realised just what he said. He locked eyes with you until you asked the inevitable.

“Do you trust me?”

“I don’t know, Aurora,” his voice was low and he shifted towards you. “You clearly have secrets you keep to yourself. I don’t know why I’m here- maybe I’ve doomed myself tonight.”

His eyes were expectant and they tugged at your heart with their warmth and vulnerability and… trust. Trust without knowing who exactly you were.

And you realised how deeply done you were for him when you found yourself saying, “I trust you. With all of my heart.”

Yunho blinked as if he couldn’t believe what he had just heard. Stomach in knots, you leaned forward a bit as you locked eyes with him. “I trust your judgement. I trust your motives, and I wish I could share your burden because I do not like to see you like this. I wish I could be your strength… if you’d allow me to. And I have nothing to lose anyway. I could do this for you-”

Perhaps you had signed yourself for your doom, you wondered, as Yunho grabbed you by the wrist and pulled you, bringing you in for a kiss so urgent as if you were on stolen time. Stomach in pleasurable knots, you leaned forward into the kiss, running your hands through his hair and pushing them away as you kissed him better, tasting the longing and pain in the way his hands cupped your face so delicately, in the way they later traced the outlines of your body-

And made you hiss in pain when they accidentally touched the bandaged spot on your arm. Yunho immediately drew back with concern on his face and you laughed a little when he examined it.

“I’m okay, just… it took me more by surprise, I guess.”

Yunho licked his lips, eyes falling to yours as he caught his breath. He forced himself to look at you. “You shouldn’t have taken the bullet for me, Aurora. Do you know how much it pains me?”

“I know you would have done the same,” you said and he looked away as if he did not want to believe that. “I’m fine. I know what I was doing.”

“I’m sorry-” 

“No,” you cupped his face this time, caressing it lovingly- you couldn’t bear the look in his eyes. “I would do that for you again,” you pecked his lips. “And again,” you kissed his cheek, trailing your lips up the side to plant another kiss on his temple. “And again,” you joined your forehead with his, his large hands going to hold your waist, making you feel so very safe as he buried his face in the crook of your neck, out of breath. You let him have his moment, caressing his head.

“What are we going to do, Aurora?”

“We’ll figure it out,” you kissed his head and he looked up at you. “I’ll make sure those bastards pay for what they did to you, you hear me? That’s a promise, Yunho. And I keep my promises.”

You sealed that promise with a kiss, so slow and sensual this time that it had you both wanting more. You unbuttoned Yunho’s uniform and tossed it on the floor, leaving him in a half-sleeve fitted shirt- oh, how beautiful he was. You traced his shoulders down to his arms and he snaked his hands up your waist, the sensation of his cold hands over your bare skin making you squirm a little which made him laugh, and then he was pulling you in for another kiss, this time as heated as it could be, tongues colliding and bodies rocking against each other in a rhythm that made you one.

You kissed each other for the longest time, affirmations and promises exchanged and then you lay in his arms, tired. You traced the multiple scars on his bare upper body, limbs tangled and breaths mingling as he fell asleep and you stifled in your tears, because-

Because this was love, in its pure and raw form. It took you so long to get here but you wouldn’t want to be anywhere else, with anyone else. You wondered if all that happened was so that you could be right here, in this moment, feeling so complete-

But still, with the guilt of the lies you had said, with the secrets you kept. He was going to find out, and he would hate you, perhaps with all of his heart. But…

You’d keep your promise.

You were going to make Halaland pay for not only what they did to your homeland but what they did to their own. How they broke their own.

You chanted it to yourself along with the beat of Yunho’s heart.

—-------------------

Yunho was right about his brother being drafted to the enemy lines this time. He hated that he was right, but he could do nothing about it-

Or so he thought, because something had indefinitely snapped inside of you. Your hatred for Halaland was not only because of the fact that they took away your home and family, but because they took away the families of the ones who laid their lives for the cause. What for, you wondered? Halaland couldn’t even protect its own. So now, you were hell-bent on doing something about it. 

Each day, you pretended to be serving Halaland with utmost sincerity, urging Yunho to put on the same act. He tried his best and you prayed that it would mislead the superiors and whoever was watching. Every other night, you and Yunho gathered in either of your rooms to discuss whatever you found during the day- stealing from the database (Yunho was quite skilled) or picking information spontaneously (your forte). You’d match your findings but-

Whatever was going on in Medical Research was very, very serious if it was kept this confidential. You always found yourselves at a dead end- anyone you could contact was either still an employee or wiped off the map without a trace. 

So each night, you held Yunho in your arms and assured him that you would make it right for him. You caressed his face and kissed his head in promise, and each night he would ask you why you were doing this for him, just like he asked you tonight.

“Call me ungrateful but I don’t understand why you’re doing this for me, Aurora,” he was tracing the outlines of your face with one finger while you rested in his lap with a thick bundle of files you had been going through since the evening- the information of all the Utopian employees in the Medical Department. “I’d really like to know what the other reason is. You can’t simply be doing this for me.”

“What do you think it is?” You asked absently, reading the data of the person Yunho had pointed out earlier- Song Mingi. One of his oldest friends here who used to oversee some business in Medical Research before he went missing without a trace. The one, Yunho had told you, who made him embark on this journey.

“I don’t know,” Yunho’s arm was a comfortable weight around you and his lips on the bare skin of your neck were welcome. “I’m not sure I want to find out.”

“You’re pretty insistent for someone who doesn’t want to find out,” you mumbled, frowning as you read Song’s supervisor’s name- Dr. Kim- the same doctor who took your reports in your previous missions. “Is it strange that every missing person is somehow connected to Dr. Kim of Research?”

Yunho stopped nuzzling into your neck to look at you and think. “He is the supervisor.”

“That file over there,” you pointed at a file on the floor. “It said that Dr. Kim became the supervisor after every Utopian was expelled. A promotion at such a sensitive time is rather strange, don’t you think, given how ‘saddened’ you all must have been having lost a valuable ally in the war.”

Yunho shifted under you, making you face him, limbs still tangled. “You’re saying the feud must have begun due to something that happened in Medical Research, right?”

“It’s a possibility we should consider,” you planted the seed, knowing very well that it was a fact. “The timing of it all is strange. Do you think we can have someone confirm this fact? Or at least give us a hint?”

“I could ask Dr. Kang, but I’m not sure where his loyalty stands now,” he faltered.

“I mean… if they still haven’t erased him off the map, probably with Halaland?” You said and Yunho chuckled.

“Not that part. We’re all answering to someone. I don’t know if he’s answering to the right person.”

“I think we can trust him,” you offered. “When he trained me, he always insisted I put my ‘moral values’ before any order, no matter who it came from. It always stuck with me.”

“I can see that,” Yunho smiled, caressing the nape of your neck. “It’s probably why I’m here too. You don’t give a shit about rules, do you?”

You shrugged and smiled when he looked a little proud. “I could say the same for you. Do you know how dangerous it is to dig into information again? Haven’t you learned anything from the last time you did it?”

“I can’t let you carry this burden alone, can I?” He asked and you pouted because you’ve had this conversation with him just about a dozen times and he always insisted he do the dirty work and risk getting caught even when he was the one who had something to lose now. Yunho pecked at your pouted lips. “I want you to come with me when I meet Dr. Kang. He could be of help, and if he’s not…”

“If he’s not, all you have to do is say the word and he won’t breathe any part of it to anyone else,” you promised, heart dipping with the lie and he chuckled at your confidence before he kissed you.

His kisses, you were finding, could be soft like feathers when he wanted them to be. And right now, that was it. And these moments always put some hesitancy when you tried returning the sentiments because with each night you spent together like this, you were certain you could never bear being apart from him, never bear if he ever looked at you with hatred in his eyes- when he would eventually find out the truth.

Yunho’s hand cupped your face and tilted it, his hold tighter near your neck. You kissed back, but-

“Why do I always feel like something is holding you back when you’re with me, Aurora?”

You bit your lips as you drew away, finding it incredibly hard to open your eyes and face him but you did.

“The only reason I hold back,” you told him, shifting in his lap so you could face him, “is because I am so, so afraid of losing you, Yunho. I’m so afraid that you’ll hate me one day.”

 “I could never hate you,” his grip on your waist tightened and you looked down, not wanting him to see how vulnerable you were right now. If he pushed the right button, you would spill everything-

“Look at me, Aurora.”

You did and you couldn’t take the look in his eyes- you physically couldn’t, not when you wanted to tell him so much and risk wasting everything you’d built so far, so you kissed his lips with an urgency that told him to shut up for now and just kiss you back and make you feel good, and oh, did he return the sentiment.

“Don’t look at me like that again if you don’t want me to break,” you whispered in his ear.

“What about me, huh?” He stifled a pleasured groan when you rolled your hips on his lap. “Do you want to watch me break?”

You drew away and smiled and Yunho thought it was the most sadistic smile he had ever seen on anyone and it turned him on so bad. He picked you up effortlessly as he stood, making you scream a little and wrap your arms around his neck so you wouldn’t fall, laughing into his shoulder as he placed you on the table, hands on your thighs spreading them apart so he could fit between them as he looked down at you.

“You’re gonna be the death of me,” he said and then he was bringing you flush to his body and kissing you, rolling his hips along yours as you wrapped your legs around him. He wasted no time turning the kiss as heated and frantic as the movements of your body, his hands in your hair and one still on your thigh, thumb playing with the waistband of your shorts. You were lazily running your hands along his upper body and it was driving him crazy-

“Isn’t it about time we take it to bed?” You offered, looking at the clock. “It’s way past your bedtime, Yunho.”

He didn’t miss the suggestive glance and with another sensual kiss where he pulled at your lip, sending butterflies in your stomach, he let his fingers graze dangerously close to the skin between your thighs.

“Not before I have a taste of you right here.”

You shut your eyes in pleasure as warmth coursed through you at those words and you became lost in the bliss as he started trailing his lips down your body. 

Taking it to bed could definitely wait.

—-----------------------

It took you both a few days to perfect the plan to meet Dr. Kang, and you were now wondering if Yunho was turning into you as he started setting the stage so the act could play out effortlessly, so that someone would come and tell him to go to Medical Research for some dealings or strategic planning. And you wondered why Yunho hadn’t done it earlier- he was so good at it that you were a little scared and had started to wonder if he wasn’t who he pretended to be.

Yunho laughed when you asked him that during your break when you two were alone in the cafeteria. “I obviously needed a partner, right?”

You shrugged, not buying it. “You’re doing just fine by yourself. I haven’t done anything.”

“You, Aurora, pointed me in the right direction,” he told you and you looked at him. “I’m simply preparing a ride so we can go there.”

And the ride was arranged in the matter of a few days when Dr. Choi herself assigned you and Yunho, the most skilled strategists in the department, to help sketch plans for the future course of the war and Halaland’s stance. Yunho asked Dr. Choi why they were doing the planning in the Medical Department- was it to plan the placement of medical camps? Dr. Choi answered that she believed so, but even she sounded unconvinced. So, together with Yunho, you were finally going to the Medical Research Department officially. 

What you hadn’t expected was to be escorted to a storage room at the end of the Medical Research section and to be confronted by the same Dr. Kim who was pretty much in your blacklist now. 

“Your seniors swear you’re the smartest of the bunch so I’m going to trust them and have you sign this non-disclosure agreement,” he began, keeping it simple. You and Yunho met eyes in confusion. “I’ll tell you the details after you have signed.”

When Yunho didn’t move, Dr. Kim scoffed. “Your old friend Kang swears you’re the best strategists, both of you, so I took his word for it. Want me to call him?”

“No, I think we’re good,” Yunho said. “I just need to look at the clauses before I sign. Can I have a moment?”

“Sure,” Dr. Kim relaxed back in his seat and Yunho tapped at your arm in question. You nodded- if Yeosang had really been the one who pulled the strings, you weren’t going to complain. In fact, even if he wasn’t, this was your chance to see just what was cooking here. Yunho seemed to understand that and you both read through the terms and signed.

“Very well,” Dr. Kim got up, taking the documents. “You’re being led to Level 0 of Medical Research- the lab only the selected few know about.” 

Your heart sank in nervousness- this was it. Dr. Kim led you to the stairs and continued. “We’ve recently made a breakthrough and we think it’s about time that we get some input from the strategists. The war could end within days now, do you understand?”

Yunho looked as surprised as you had expected. Dr. Kim unlocked the door and immediately, you were hit with the stench of strong chemicals and cleaning alcohol. Dr. Kim asked you two to wait while he went inside a lab and you turned to Yunho.

“Listen to me- no matter what you see today, you do not react, understand?” You said, realising fully well that you were risking your identity. “Even if you see a familiar face or something inhumane, you play along and make the decisions they would like to hear. You cannot play the hero right now, okay?”

Yunho looked genuinely confused now but he understood that there was a high chance something immoral was going on here. “I’ll try.”

“You will, for your brother,” you whispered. “And I will too. For you.”

He squeezed your hand in assurance and before he could say anything else, Dr. Kim was back. “Follow me.”

—--------------------------

You two had just gotten back to your room from Level 0 of Medical Research, and you were staring at the walls as you tried to make sense of the horrors you had seen.

You were pretty sure it was as much of a blur to Yunho as it was for you- if you tried replaying it in your head, you recalled going inside and Dr. Kim explaining the background of how they got here, but then he led you inside and showed you-

A human experiment.

A man not much older than you, tied to the bed with steel chains as if he could break them apart. What was more surprising was that Dr. Kim confirmed he very well could. He was in a confined space and you watched through the glass.

“This seems to be our first successful prototype. Since a decade, we have been playing with the idea of a specialised human army- better strength, better skills. Quicker reflexes and better impulses. Utopia was our ally back then, and we usually discussed it as a fantasy until one of our doctors made a breakthrough in his research and created a drug he thought could do something similar.”

“So Utopia is doing the same as us?” You had asked casually, putting a hand on Yunho’s back and caressing once to assure him you were playing along.

“The whole reason Utopia and Halaland fell apart was disagreement on this- they have better morals, I’ll give them that,” Dr. Kim chuckled loudly and Yunho seemed visibly uncomfortable but passed a weak smile. “They changed sides. We continued to test our drugs, but we fell back- most of our skilled doctors had been Utopian. We lost many, hence the slow progress.”

“But now- you seem to have succeeded?” Yunho said.

“We’ve almost finished the testing period with this one,” he motioned at the man who seemed to be sleeping right now, looking very normal. “If the trial is successful, we’ll use the drug for others.”

“If you don’t mind me asking,” Yunho cleared his throat. “Where or who exactly are the others?”

Everything after that was a blur- Dr. Kim had revealed that there were only a few volunteers for this programme right now but they had a few Utopian employees and soldiers they had detained over the past few years. He had asked for strategic advice and you had set the trap for him- if, in case you lost the mission to expose them and they went ahead with their human army, you wanted them at the western front first- you knew Utopia would have something up their sleeve too- but Utopia would never stoop so low. 

Yunho had done his best to play along. You two spent a few hours in that department, even met Dr. Kang who Dr. Kim claimed was one of the researchers for this programme and when you finally got to leave, Yunho followed you to your room.

You turned to him, still not believing what you had seen. “Is this real?”

“I don’t know anymore,” Yunho took a deep breath, hiding his face in his hands. “I’m surprised I didn’t throw up at Dr. Kim’s feet.”

“Glad you didn’t,” you muttered. “What are we going to do, Yunho?”

“I honestly don’t know anymore, Aurora. I now know why my brother is fighting at the enemy lines- so I have no choice but to participate in this… massacre. Massacre of lives is what this is, Aurora. It disgusts me how they’re handling humans there- aren’t they humans themselves?”

“They’re not,” you almost whispered. 

“I don’t know how many unfortunate souls have been wasted because the trial failed. That drug is basically a human-control drug. It could cause so much destruction in the war. What’s the point of winning now, though?” He scoffed, shaking his head. “I understand now, why the doctor we went to retrieve didn’t want to go back- death is a better option than becoming a human lab rat.”

“Can’t we expose them?” You wondered out loud. “I don’t know- even to the enemy?” You looked at Yunho but the guarded look in his eyes- he had to think of his brother too. “I could do that, Yunho. I have nothing to lose- you can play along while I expose them and end this inhumanity-”

“You won’t do it alone,” Yunho shook his head furiously. “I won’t let you do it alone.”

“You have your brother, Yunho-”

“And you,” he turned to you and you almost cried, overwhelmed. “I can’t risk losing you too.”

“And I can’t risk losing you, either, please,” you joined your hands and rested your forehead against them. “Please let me do it alone.”

“What are you not telling me, Aurora?”

You looked at him, finding a knowing look in his eyes. You shook your head and he sighed. “You still can’t tell me?”

“Not yet,” you finally muttered and he nodded, planting a kiss on your forehead and you let the tears fall, realising this might be the last moment Yunho would look at you with such love. 

“Why do you cry, love?”

You only hid your face in his lap and he held you as you cried silent tears, caressing your head through it all. When you stopped, he made you look at him as he wiped your face.

“I don’t know why you don’t believe me, I don’t know what you’ve done or at this point, who you are, but I know you’re not as bad as you make yourself to be,” he had the gentlest smile on his face as he ran a thumb over your lips, locking eyes with you. “And I could never hate you, because you’ve saved me so many times now. You don’t even know how.”

“I’m sorry,” you almost whispered and he shook his head, leaning in to kiss you deeply and you responded eagerly. When he broke back, he joined his forehead with yours. 

“No matter where we go from here, I love you, Aurora. That’s the reason why I won’t let you do this alone, and I would hate it if you put yourself in a situation where you get hurt and I lose you forever, do you understand?”

You smiled at that, wrapping your arms around his neck and hugging him good and tight. “And I love you, Yunho. That is why I’ll still insist that I have to do it alone- because I can’t bear to lose more people.”

“This argument will never end at this rate,” Yunho laughed as he rocked you back and forth. You drew back, pushing his hair away.”

“I know one way it will,” you suggested and he immediately understood, attacking you with an urgent kiss, making you arch into it and soon, he was on top of you on the couch, taking off layer after layer of your clothes, of the mask you wore around him, until you were bare. Until you wished he would call your real name when he kissed every inch of your body and murmured sweet nothings. Until you broke in every way possible, wondering how you could ever recover from this.

You had to do this alone.

—---------------------------

“You’re always alone. And you always will be.”

When the Captain had said those words, you had wanted to tell him he was wrong. Yes, that was the loneliest period of your life, but even then you had a few people who were with you. You had simply nodded and let him believe his words were wrapping around your heart.

However, now that Yunho held Kang Yeosang at gunpoint and looked at you with absolute hatred in his eyes, you couldn’t help but think back to that moment. You could practically feel the Captain’s hands on your shoulders as he whispered it in your ears-

“You’re always alone. And you always will be.”

Before you knew it, you were pointing a gun at Yunho’s head too and Yeosang stopped struggling in his grasp as he looked at you in surprise.

“We don’t have to do this, Yunho,” you said and even though your tone was harsh, your voice still quivered a bit.

“We really don’t, Aurora,” he said, tightening his hold on Yeosang. “I don’t know who you are anymore or why you’re doing this, but I can’t let you take these people.”

Everything had gone horribly wrong tonight. Seonghwa had provided you with the big plan- a distraction that would give you and him enough time to vacate Level 0 with the people trapped in there. Yeosang and Dr. Seo Yuna- a Halaland native who strongly opposed the idea of human experiments- were on duty tonight so all they had to do was sneak you in and show you the emergency exit. It led to a restricted parking area where Seonghwa would be waiting with an ambulance-

An ambulance because the Medical Department would be set on fire tonight. Dr. Kang and Dr. Seo were trained just like the other doctors in Level 0 on the evacuation process in case of an emergency. What the higher-ups wouldn’t expect would be everyone in Level 0 disappearing without a trace. Level 0 and all its data would turn to ashes tonight.

The plan was seamless, however, Yunho’s presence was something you didn’t expect and it caught you off guard when he arrived at the basement. He spotted you transferring his old friend, Song Mingi, on a stretcher and ran towards him, making you freeze momentarily as he examined his state.

“What happened?” Yunho asked you.

“Do you… recognise him?” You were going to play dumb for as long as you could. 

“That’s Mingi- my old friend,” he sounded broken as he brushed the hair off Mingi’s face, finding him all ragged and pale. “What are you doing here, Aurora?”

You glanced around- Dr. Kang and Dr. Seo were not present. You turned to Yunho. “You can’t be here- I was assigned to help evacuate the members of Level 0 because of the fire. Nobody assigned you, as far as I know.”

“And who assigned you?” His gaze was hard and you bit your lips, about to make up an answer when you heard footsteps behind you and saw Yeosang appear from the tunnel, look at you both and take out his gun to point at Yunho, who scoffed in disbelief.

“I’m going to have to ask you to leave- you cannot be here,” Yeosang drew closer and for the first time, you couldn’t make a quick decision, only glanced back and forth like a confused child. 

“Why is my presence such a big problem here?” Yunho straightened, gazing at both of his friends long and hard. “I’m authorised with access here, just like Aurora, am I not?”

Yeosang glanced at you and your reflexes kicked in- you knew that look. He was going to shoot Yunho. When his hand shifted on the trigger, you immediately grabbed a tray and threw it at Yeosang, making Yunho duck as he shot. Yeosang gaped at you and you ran towards him but he pointed his gun at you, making you raise your hands.

“Please, Yeosang, not him,” you begged. “He can help- just listen to me-”

“The Captain only allowed you to save his brother,” he whispered. “He said nothing about Yunho.”

You were about to protest when Yunho pushed you to the side- you didn’t even hear him coming this time. He was on Yeosang in a second, startling him and wrestling him until he was in his grasp and Yunho had him at gunpoint.

And so here you stood, pointing your gun at him. You caught your breath and shut your eyes when the tears started to sting. When you opened them, you spoke. “You have two choices, Yunho. You can either let me go and meet your brother at the same cabin the doctor died that day, or you can kill me right now and lose everything you love.”

“I’ve already lost everything I love,” his voice was strangled and you shook your head in denial. 

“You can save your brother,” you pleaded. “Please.”

“Where are you taking them?” He asked.

“I can’t tell you that,” you shook your head, knowing what it would cost you if you told Yunho everything right now- not only your life but Yunho’s as well.

“Is this who you are, Aurora?” Yunho scoffed. “A true Halaland loyal?”

You didn’t respond though his words felt like a stab. “You have 10 seconds to make a decision.”

The sound of those seconds being ticked off echoed within all of you and at the 9th second when you were about to pull the trigger, Yunho let go of Yeosang and you exhaled in relief, but it died down when his eyes met yours, full of betrayal. Hatred. Confusion. And so, so much anger.

“It’s funny, now that I think about it,” Yunho pushed his hair back. “All those times we interacted. Your sole purpose was to use me to get here, wasn’t it?”

This time, the tears did leave your eyes. Yeosang shook his head and asked Yunho to exit the premises and go through the emergency exit unnoticed if he wanted to save his brother. Yunho passed you a sad smile before he left and you sank down to your knees, fisting the ends of your shirt and screaming your heart out. Yeosang patted your back once before muttering that you had already lost precious time. 

You helped transport the members in a daze. When you set fire to the lab, you didn’t feel one ounce of regret. You told yourself you would set a similar fire some day and burn your feelings for Yunho as well. 

But tonight? Tonight you would let them consume you and drive you mad. Only tonight.

So when you spotted the Captain in an abandoned building that you were going to use until you could go back to Utopia, the cracks of dawn illuminating the ruins, you didn’t bow like you would have. You ran to him instead and hit his chest with your fists repeatedly, crying and screaming, not caring who witnessed the moment. The Captain made no move to stop you, raising a hand to stop Seonghwa instead who was pulling out his gun. He let you have your moment until you were tired and rested your head against his shoulder, crying your heart out.

“Who broke you, Aurora? Who melted that ice-cold heart of yours?”

“I hate you for doing this to me,” you cried and he tsk-ed. “I won’t forgive you.”

“I told you, Aurora,” he held you by your shoulders and you looked at him- hair styled an odd way- half bleached and half natural. It made him look fiercer than ever. “I told you that you will always be alone in this field. It is your weakness that led you here. You can blame me all you want, but it’s on you.”

“Just tell me it’s over,” you said, feeling drained. “Tell me my job is done.”

“It is,” he nodded. “When we go back to Utopia… you’re a free bird if you choose to be.”

You looked beside you at Seonghwa and Yeosang, shaking your head. “I’m going to head inside first then.”

—----------------------

Yunho didn’t know what he was expecting when he broke into the cabin, but his brother laughing with someone else looking unscathed and free just wasn’t it. 

He frowned in confusion. “Gunho?” 

Gunho gasped audibly before rushing to hug his brother and Yunho almost cried in relief. Gunho looked at him. “You’re finally here!”

“Were you waiting for me?” Yunho scanned him, making sure he was okay.

“Of course I was,” he patted his arm, drawing back. “Wooyoung here was kind enough to get me- he won’t tell me who he is but apparently he holds the authority to discharge me from the army. I’m free now.”

“No way,” Yunho breathed, looking gratefully at Wooyoung who shook his head.

“I was simply doing my job.”

“Who assigned you?” Yunho dared to ask.

“I think you know that already,” Wooyoung winked, getting up and straightening his army uniform. “I’ll be taking my leave now. My last message for you is ‘don’t go back’. Oh, and I have something else-”

Wooyoung dug in his pocket and produced four bullets, placing them in Yunho’s extended palm. Yunho recognised the bullets- the one he’d given Aurora, but-

“There should be one more?”

“She kept one,” Wooyoung smiled knowingly.

Yunho sighed deeply. “Tell me where to find her- or someone who can give me answers.

Wooyoung considered for a moment- he had seen the way Aurora had nearly broken when she begged him to save someone she knew nothing about except the name. And the fact that this person was here and still looked sceptical…

Wooyoung took out a piece of paper and pencil and scribbled an address. “Seven days from now, you can find us here. I don’t know if Aurora will still be there by that time.”

“What do you mean?” Yunho asked.

“We’re going back home, Yunho,” Wooyoung smiled. “The war is ending soon. There will be no victory, simply a treaty.”

“Home?” Yunho couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Wooyoung simply saluted mockingly before exiting the cabin.

—---------------------

The past week, Yunho had replayed every moment since Aurora came into his life. Every single time he had seen her, had interacted with her or heard about her from someone else.

He realised he had been blind. The answer was so painfully obvious- Aurora wasn’t from Halaland at all. He was pretty sure her name wasn’t Aurora as well. 

She was a spy, he knew. And now that he thought about it, she hadn’t really done much to hide it- at least not in front of him. From always staring towards the west, not at the setting sun but towards her homeland, to almost cracking Utopia’s code so easily- he wondered if she was the mastermind behind the code. The way she questioned every move Halaland made, the way she put a distance between them-

Every night, he held the four bullets in his hands and wondered why she kept the fifth one. It made him so, so restless.

And every night, Yunho always ended his train of thoughts with the same question every night-

Did she actually love him, or was all of it to get to Medical Research?

Was he simply a rung on the ladder to get to her goal? Or was he not meant to be part of the equation at all, a mistake on her part?

Yunho didn’t realise how long he simply stood in front of the cottage until someone creeped up behind him, patting his back and scaring him a little. It was Seonghwa- yet another surprise.

Just how many people in the Halazia Research Facility were spies? Were they only Utopians or were they from other nations as well?

“I almost killed you because I didn’t recognise you,” Seonghwa lit a cigarette, offering him one but Yunho declined. “So you’re finally here.”

“What do you mean ‘finally here’?” Yunho asked. “Were you expecting me?”

“We placed bets- don’t tell Aurora,” Seonghwa snickered. “Yeosang owes me 10 now.”

She was still here.

“Where is she?” Yunho gulped.

“Not so quick, mate,” Seonghwa scanned him. “You’ve been travelling quite a bit, haven’t you?”

“Have you been spying on me?” Yunho scoffed.

“Weren’t you looking for a place to keep your brother safe?” Seonghwa simply said. “Have you found one?”

“Not yet,” Yunho admitted. 

“You could come with us, you know.”

Yunho considered that. “I don’t know who ‘us’ is. I can’t blindly follow you to god knows where.”

“Well then, I guess you should meet the Captain. He specifically asked me to bring you to him if you came. He’s quite interested in seeing the face of the person who broke his dear Aurora’s heart.”

Yunho raised a brow though his heart sank at his admission. “Where is she, Seonghwa?”

“Out on a mission- she’ll be back by dawn,” Seonghwa urged him to follow him inside and took him to a room where Yunho spotted a man with unique hair standing by the fire. Seonghwa knocked on the door and he turned.

“This is Jeong Yunho.”

“This is him?” the man scoffed as he came forward, a cane in his hand that Yunho wasn’t entirely sure was for mobility purposes. Probably a weapon. “I expected something else- I don’t know. I can’t believe this is the face that melted her frozen heart.”

“And who are you?” Yunho countered, watching Seonghwa take his leave. The man motioned for him to take a seat and Yunho did after a moment of hesitation. The man followed, sitting in front of him.

“They call me the Captain around here. Captain of the Crescents- a group of spies who were born for the sole purpose of taking revenge on Halaland after they betrayed us. Betrayed Utopia.”

Yunho let that sink in. “What revenge?”

“I think you know that already,” the Captain sighed. “Honestly, when I learned that Aurora had told you more than you should have known, considering you don’t have an ounce of Utopian blood in you, I was ready to kill both her and you. But, that brat…” he scoffed in amusement. “She got on her knees for you, Jeong. Do you have any idea what that means?”

Yunho looked blank so he continued. “Aurora is one of the best spies I’ve known in my life. I had to break her to make her bend. But you… what did you do? What sweet things did you mutter to turn my strongest spy into such a hopeless mess? All these years of training her into becoming a cold-hearted thinker and assassin, and she melts because apparently you looked, really looked at her with those eyes of yours.”

Yunho looked down, each word hammering a nail in his head. “If she had told me… I would have joined her. I was never in favour of Halaland’s unethical methods, and after I discovered what was really going on…”

“If she told you, you would have exposed her. She understood that, because she would have done the same. You’re only human, after all,” the Captain twirled the cane in his hands. “Why are you here today?”

“To get answers,” Yunho replied. 

“You’ve got your answers now, haven’t you? Scoot off, then,” he relaxed back, glaring at Yunho.

“Who are you, really?” Yunho asked. “How come you knew about the Medical Research Department?”

The Captain’s smirk fell and he looked wistfully into the fire. “Because I’m one of the masterminds behind Level 0, and to this day, I regret being a part of it.”

Yunho was positive his heart actually dropped to his feet. “You’re a Utopian?”

“The only Utopian who escaped at the right time before they turned against us and stole our ideas,” the Captain looked at Yunho. “Kim Hongjoong, in flesh and blood.”

“Kim Hongjoong is dead,” Yunho couldn’t believe his ears. “We held a funeral for you.”

“A good cover up by Halaland, I’ll give them that,” he shrugged. “They needed to do that to take over and turn on Utopia- they’ve been on my tail ever since. I wasn’t sure if they had the brains to continue with the experimentation- testing on humans was never my idea either. It’s why I sent Aurora to finish this once and for all. We’ve met with your higher-ups and we’ve agreed to not expose their dirty deeds if they end this nonsensical war. The official end of the war will be announced soon.”

Yunho definitely felt something like a heavy burden lifted from his shoulders at the revelation. “And where are the members of Level 0?”

“The ones who were actually doing the dirty deeds will be secretly tried in court. The ones who were spies, like Yeosang… they’re going home. I understand you had a few friends there? Mingi, for instance? He was my closest junior- he’s in the next room if you wish to see him.”

Yunho nodded, letting all of this digest before he got up. “Thank you for what you did- I’m not sure I quite understand the gravity of it yet- it’s too much to process right now, but… thank you.”

“No need to thank me, I did what I had to,” Hongjoong looked at him, an unspoken agreement shared.

He needed to thank Aurora.

He needed to see Aurora.

Yunho spent the most part of the night with Mingi, catching up and confirming the facts, learning that the ‘lab rats’ were now being treated by the doctors and realising how brutally his people had treated even their own. His heart felt tight in his chest by the time he was done chatting with him and he went outside for some fresh air.

And a few minutes later, spotted two figures walking towards the cottage.

He could recognise you even from your silhouette, and he thought it was crazy that he did. He recognised the exact moment you saw him and paused for a mere fraction of a second before continuing to move like nothing had happened. He knew your mannerisms, he knew you inside out, and yet-

He knew nothing about you.

He didn’t even know your name.

This time when you met eyes, he waved awkwardly at you and you felt your heart sink again. You wanted to scream at him, shout at him, but you were far too tired. Your companion took leave, disappearing inside and you walked slowly but surely to Yunho.

“You’re here.”

Yunho passed a tight-lipped smile, wondering where to begin. He scanned you as you took off your mask and hat, looking-

Fatigued. 

“Are you- have you been well?” Yunho asked, hating how he sounded.

You shrugged. “Did you meet your brother?”

“Yes. He’s safe now…” Yunho took a step forward but you backed away and he paused, muttering a ‘sorry’.

“Well, I guess that’s it, then?” You began, looking up and scanning him- you had no idea where he had been the past week but he looked the most weary. “You heard everything, I’m assuming?”

Yunho nodded. “I should have seen it earlier. You didn’t really hide it from me, did you?”

A faintest hint of a smile crawled to your lips. “You don’t always see what’s in front of your eyes, Yunho.”

Yunho’s heart tugged at the way you called his name. “What are we going to do, Aurora?”

You passed a weak smile. “I don’t know. All I know is that I’m going back. I cannot spend one day longer in this wicked, wicked land.”

Yunho felt the jab good and well. “I’m sorry for what it took from you.”

“Are you?” You sighed when hurt flashed across his eyes. “I’m not even mad at you, Yunho. I’m just… disappointed in myself. I’m disappointed that my love didn’t seem real enough- that you doubted my intentions so quickly.”

“And wouldn’t you have done the same?” Yunho challenged. “If I turned my back on you? Wouldn’t you have questioned every moment that we shared?”

“Maybe not-”

“You could have told me, Aurora,” Yunho almost yelled in frustration but clenched his eyes shut to reel himself in. “All you had to do was trust me. You didn’t trust me enough to tell me who you were. I keep calling you Aurora but that’s not even your name.”

You felt the very familiar sting in your eyes. “I had people to protect.”

“And so did I,” Yunho’s gaze was hard. “And I had you to protect. I would have laid my life down for you, if only you had allowed me to.”

You turned away, wiping your eyes. “I couldn’t allow that.”

“So we’re even then, aren’t we?” Yunho’s voice was also quivering and you dared to glance at him. “Please… look at me.”

You did and this time when he stepped towards you, you didn’t back away. He put his hands on your shoulders, rubbing them just like he used to. “Tell me your name.”

You passed him a sad smile as you told him your name, buried somewhere so deep inside you, uncalled for years. He said it twice, testing it on his lips. It felt right.

“Y/n,” he smiled widely and you laughed through the tears. “I want to know who that is. I want to learn about you again, if you’ll let me. If you forgive me for doubting you and for being an asshole-”

“No,” you shook your head furiously. “You gave me so much, Yunho, and I returned nothing in comparison. I would have lost myself there if it weren’t for your presence always grounding me, even when we were as good as strangers. I- you gave me love when I thought I’d never find it again, when it had become a foreign concept to me.”

“Do you love me still, y/n?” He asked, his eyes expectant.

“I do, you fool,” you laughed, finally earning the grin you so loved to see. “I hope you don’t hate me.”

“How could I?” Yunho’s hand shook slightly as he cupped your face and you leaned into his touch. His gaze was so strong as he caressed the angles of your face- you were positive your knees were actually turning weak and perhaps they were, that’s why his other hand travelled to your waist to bring you closer. “How could I hate you when you look at me like this? Like you could break me? Like you’d break in my touch too?”

He planted a kiss on your forehead, lingering there and you breathed in the scent of him- the scent that was your home now. Yunho didn’t waste any more time, leaning in and capturing your lips in a kiss that absolutely shattered you the way it was so cautious yet so, so demanding. You brought your arms to wrap around his neck, standing on your tiptoes with your body flush against him as you kissed back, deeper, making him loosen up with every movement until you were simply making out, exchanging all the feelings too deeply buried, all the words unspoken, all the apologies and the promises.

“I missed you so, so much, y/n,” Yunho breathed against your lips when you broke apart for breath, tugging at your lower lip with his teeth that made you dig your nails into his skin. He pecked your lips again. “You have no idea.”

“I do,” you kissed him. “I know all too well.”

Yunho drew apart, tucking your hair behind your ears as he gazed at you lovingly. “Take me with you this time, will you?”

“You want to come with me to Utopia?” You raised a brow.

“I mean… all my friends will be there,” he glanced back at the cottage and you understood who he meant. “Besides… I’m quite sick of Halaland too. Pretty sure they have a wanted poster back in the facility for me.”

You laughed at that. “Basically you want to come with me because you’re dead meat here.”

“I’m dead meat anywhere if I’m not with you-”

“Stop!” You put your hands over your ears, laughing as you ran away because his goofy side was back and he went after you, making you squeal.

Hongjoong and Seonghwa stood watching from the window upstairs. Hongjoong tsk-ed. “An absolutely disgusting sight, don’t you think?”

“Absolutely,” Seonghwa clinked his drink with Hongjoong’s and they both cursed under their breaths as they drank-

To love. To victory.

To going back home.

[arki-sha]

Ateez Fic Recommendations

OT8/ Poly Ateez

This list will contain my favorite ateez fics to date so I definitely recommend to check them out.

Recommendations for each members will be posted soon!

💖 Fluff 💢 Angst ❤️‍🔥 Smut

Series

💖 Fated (Soulmate AU OT8 x Reader) by @callmeagardengnome

💖💢❤️‍🔥 Into the Aurora (Idol AU OT8 x Reader) by @honeyhotteoks

💖💢❤️‍🔥 Their Pretty Lady (Demon AU OT8 x Reader) by @written-in-flowers

💖💢❤️‍🔥 Circus (Hybrid AU OT8 x Reader) by @lani-heart

💖❤️‍🔥 Whichever Way (Neighbors AU Woosan x Reader) by @igbylicious

💖💢❤️‍🔥 The Library of Illusion (Fantasy AU OT8 x Reader) by @kwanisms

💖💢❤️‍🔥 Hotel California (Yandere Demon AU OT8 x Reader) by @mint-yooxgi

💖💢❤️‍🔥 Inception (Dragon Hybrid AU OT8 x Reader) by @remedyx

💖💢❤️‍🔥 This Night Together (Omegaverse Alpha Yungi x Omega Reader) by @honeyhotteoks

💖❤️‍🔥 Time of Love (Social Media AU Woosan x Reader)

💖❤️‍🔥 The Husband Series (Husbands AU Seonghwa and Yunho x Reader) by @honeyhotteoks

💖💢❤️‍🔥 Deep Down (Omegaverse Idol AU OT8 x Reader) by @seventhcallisto

Oneshots

💖❤️‍🔥 And They Were "Roommates" (Boyfriend AU OT8 x Reader) by @frenchkisstheabyss

💢❤️‍🔥 Blinding Faith (Cult AU Yungi x Reader) by @kitten4sannie

❤️‍🔥Undertow (Sex Club AU Seonghwa, Mingi & Yeosang x Reader) by @hongism

❤️‍🔥 Ours (Boyfriend AU Yungi x Reader) by @mint-yooxgi

💖❤️‍🔥 More than Enough & A-Tease Lesson (Idol AU OT8 x Reader) by @written-in-flowers

💖❤️‍🔥 Jenga and Jealousy & Brats and Backtalk (Roommate Woosan and FWB Hongjoong x Reader) by @hongjoongtime117

❤️‍🔥 *739 Mingi (Sex Worker AU Mingi and Yeosang x Reader) by @potatomountain

❤️‍🔥 Say My Name (Demon AU OT8 x Reader) by @shinestarhwaa

❤️‍🔥 Truth or Dare (Idol AU OT8 x Reader) by @shinestarhwaa

❤️‍🔥 2 seater (Non-Idol AU Yungi x Reader) by @mingi-s-dimples

❤️‍🔥 Sweetheart & Candy (Frat AU OT8 x Reader) by @bro-atz

❤️‍🔥 For the Love of the Game (College Baseball AU Wooyoung and Yunho x Reader) by @kitten4sannie

❤️‍🔥 Sharing is Caring? (Idol AU Hongjoong and Mingi x Reader) by @byuntrash101

💢❤️‍🔥 Allure & Knuckle Velvet (Omegaverse Criminal AU Alpha Matz x Omega Reader) by @last-words-ofashootingstar

❤️‍🔥 Three Tank Tops of Apocalypse (Idol AU x San, Seonghwa and Mingi x Reader) by @bro-atz

❤️‍🔥 Slashtober 🔪||OT8 (Yandere Ateez OT8 x Reader) by @justaaveragereader

❤️‍🔥 How We Live in Tokyo (Tokyo Drift AU Matz x Reader)

💖❤️‍🔥 Lay your Hands on Me (Neighbors AU Yungi x Reader) by @acescavern

💖❤️‍🔥 Heavenly & Double Trouble (College Roommate AU Yungi x Reader) by @pinkywritings

[shixcherie]

Chérie’s Recommendations!

~ ~ call me chérie ☆

☆ Being on Tumblr and a proud part of the ATEEZ fandom (Atiny for life ❤️), I’ve come across some truly heart-fluttering, beautifully written pieces by incredibly talented people. Bonus points ☆ ☆ ☆ for the toe-curling smut too! I’m sure, as a fellow Atiny, you’ve stumbled across some of these works, but if not, hopefully, you’ll find some new favorites in my curated list. Every one of these fics deserves so much love for how wonderfully they’re crafted, and I only hope to be able to one day write something just as beautiful.

So, let’s dive into my favorite fics list and meet the talented people behind this amazing content!

Stories :

☆ Into the aurora (series) - by [ @honeyhotteoks ]

☆ Body language (one-shot) - by [ @k-hotchoisan ]

☆ Who (series) - by [ @todomochi-uwu]

☆ Bouncy ( oneshot, part of a miniseries) - by [ @hongism ]

☆ Caffeine Addiction (one-shot) - by [ @beginningofwonderland ]

☆ Horizon ( series ) - by [ @pxedpiper ]

☆ Pirate King ( series ) - by [ @chaseatinydream ]

☆ Room For Three ( mini series ) - by [ @honeyhotteoks ]

☆ Wrong Answer (one- shot ) - by [ @essenteez ]

☆ Crimson white snow ( one-shot ) - by [ @haosweater]

☆ Racer Seonghwa ( one - shot ) - by [ @k-hotchoisan ]

☆ Elixir of Death ( Series ) - by [ @darkphoenix07 ]

☆ We can’t be friends (one-shot )- by [ @jensthwa ]

☆ Teacher’s Pet ( onshot ) - by [ @holybibly ]

☆ Chosen for Heaven, Cursed for Love ( one-shot ) - by [@shinescape ]

☆ Candy (mini shots ) - by [ @bro-atz ]

☆ Touch and Sketch ( one-shot) - by [@k-hotchoisan ]

☆ Too Fucking Hot To Deal ( one-shot) - by [ @holybibly ]

☆ Blue Bird (one - shot) - by [ @seonghwaddict ]

☆ Not Just A Dream ( mini series ) - by [ @ja3hwa ]

☆ Almost Home (one shot ) - by [ @shadowkoo ]

☆ Django (one - shot ) - by [ @last-words-ofashootingstar ]

☆ After Hours ( one-shot ) - by [ @hwaslayer ]

☆ My Fav Position ( one - shot ) - by [ @xuchiya ]

☆ Save a horse, ride a cowboy (one - shot ) - by [ @yunhoszn ]

Honourable Mentions :

☆ Bottle Service ( one-shot ) - by [ @bro-atz ]

☆ Circus ( series ) - by [ @lani-heart ]

~~

This is just part 1 of a lot fics I have enjoyed, so if you like this I am gonna make a part 2 very soon.

Don't forget to check these amazing pieces and the talented writers out.

My works : Kinktober 2024 My Recommendation n Reviews accont : @cheriesbasket

~ ~ Chérie ☆ signin’ off

[faeprincess777]

❤️My Ateez Favorite Fics🩷

I do not own any of these fics, I just enjoyed reading them! Most of these fics are smutty, so please, no minors!

OT8

Whichever Way by @igbylicious (woosan, series)

Best Girl by @beenbaanbuun (yunho & mingi)

The Paradigm Complex by @shadowynn (multi-member)

Dewdrops at Dawn by @sunmoonjune (multi-member)

Into the Aurora by @honeyhotteoks (multi-member)

Masterlist by @holybibly (multi-member)-literally every single fic is fire 🔥

Jenga and Jealousy Masterlist by @hongjoongtime117 (multi-member)

Hongjoong

Coming soon...

Seonghwa

Mr. Popular by @wooyoungiewritings

All Tied Up by @pyramid-of-starrs

Make Me Water by @bangtanintotheroom

Yandere Seonghwa by @mymoodwriting

The Thing About Pretty Boys by @wonusite

Hybrid, Yandere Seonghwa by @mymoodwriting

Best Friend's Mother by @hwashotcheeto (series)

Before Midnight by @baekmond

Heartbeat by @yunniverse

Don't Be a Stranger by @1117feverlessdreams

You Made It Shine by @taeyongdoyoung

Passion Young Fever by @fairyniceyeah (sickfic)

Yunho

Attention Seeker by @pyramid-of-starrs

Mercilessly by @velvetydream

Yeosang

Touch Me, Taste Me, Fill Me Up by @littlefireball

San

I See Red by @0097linersbb

Karaoke Angel by @kpop-dungeon-dark

My Heart, I Surrender by @sweetinsaniiity

Softer, Softest by @frenchkisstheabyss

Mingi

Husky Hybrid Mingi by @vent-stink

Cock Blocked by @star2fishmeg

Wooyoung

Die for me by @jisungchan

How to Tame a Brat Tamer by @k-hotchoisan

Seduced by the Bad Boy by @xomakara

Jongho

Just One More by @mingtinysworld

Hide and Seizure by @itsoktobeconfused (sickfic)

[starillusion13]

Hi!!! can I request a poly pirate ateez x reader fic? they chose another girl over her and betray her but they regret and chase her back but the reader doesn’t forgive so easily

Pirate’s Heart

Pairing: Ateez! ot8 x fem! reader

• Genre: Angst, Pirate, Mature

• Warnings: crying, misunderstanding, betrayal, choosing someone else, trusting a stranger, false accusations, lies [plz tell me if I have missed something] also oc doesn't forgive easily coz they chose someone else. Come on bfr, I’m searching for you girl.

• W.C: 5k (it’s not how I thought it to be)

Note: please I want to thanks to people for reading and reblogging. Reviews are always appreciated. I tried to put more emotions into it but still I know it’s not how I wanted. I don’t know what to add more into this.

Network: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity

Eight men laughing all around the room and a girl sulking in the corner, sitting on a wooden stool beside the youngest man among them. he pats her back and trying to hold back his laughter.

“Mina…it’s okay.”

“No! you all betrayed me yesterday and I was alone roaming around the market.”

Jongho looks over at the captain who is grinning widely across from the old wooden table when he spoke up, “we were just busy with some things of ours.”

“Things?” she whines, “you all were trying to find her. Why? She can find her way back to the ship.”

You hiss to her words and mentally scoff from outside the room. But the surprising fact is that. They followed you? You don’t think that something about you even matter to them. Maybe, they don’t care if you had been attacked by their enemy. They were only following you to keep an eye, if you are not betraying behind their back.

“and you could have flirted more.” You mutter under your breath.

You hear captain’s voice and your feet scoot closer towards the dark wooden door. Tears pooling in your eyes. When was the last time he laughed with you? Or any of them spent a little time with you?

“That’s not true. You are familiar to this place but she has never been to here.” The captain stated and Seonghwa nods slowly which made her scowl.

I shouldn’t have ever stepped to this place. Your life has become upside-down after stepping a foot on this land and then suddenly Mina stumbling in your way. You still hate this from last year when she snatched your lovers.

“still…” she whines and you cringe at her tone. Yunho got up and cups her cheek, “next time, we will go to the market with you. Promise.” He brings a grape to her lips and she happily eat it. They all cooed and laughed at her cuteness.

Their laughs pierced your heart which made the tears flow down your cheeks and so you ran away from the door---behind which lies a lot of secrets.

It sounds like you're feeling hurt or disappointed because someone you liked chose someone else over you. This is really tough to deal with. It's important to remember that everyone has their own preferences and reasons for making choices, and it doesn't necessarily reflect on your worth as a person but it's not caused by some certain person.

It's about your lovers. The eight pirates who once vowed to give you a family, the love you deserve and pledged their loyalty towards you.

But now, it’s all gone.

They have turned their back to you, never glancing at the most treasured gem of theirs---their heart.

Their Y/n.

Their only Aurora.

>>>> <<<<

In the azure expanse of the Sea, where the sun dancing upon the waves like golden fire and the salty breeze whispering secrets of the deep, there you stood upon the deck of the ship. The locks swaying with the light wind and your eyes closed, facing towards the sun.

Once where existed—a tale of love. Now, it’s all about betrayal and redemption, woven amidst the tumultuous seas and treacherous shores.

In the heart of the sea, you have always dreamed of adventure beyond the horizon, of a life filled with excitement and romance. Even if you stood in front of the danger, you had a smile adorning your face with the strong belief that you have the most powerful and fearful pirates of the sea with you and nothing can ever put you nine down.

 But all the hopes are gone now.

Little did you know in your childhood that your destiny would intertwine with that of eight notorious pirates whose names echoed through the taverns and harbors of the sea --- The Ateez.

Led by their enigmatic captain, Kim Hongjoong was feared and revered in equal measure, their ship, the Blue Bird, striking fear into the hearts of merchants and sailors alike.

But beneath their fearsome exterior lay hearts yearning for something more—a love that transcended the boundaries of the sea. Your love.

It was on a moonlit night, with the stars twinkling like diamonds in the sky, when your path first crossed with that of the Ateez. As you walked along the deserted shores of Halazia, your thoughts lost in the gentle rhythm of the waves, you stumbled upon a sight that would change your life forever.

There, stranded upon the sands, lay a man---a pirate surrounded by seven other figures, his clothes torn and his face etched with pain. Without hesitation, you rushed to his side, heart racing with a mixture of fear and curiosity.

To your surprise, the man stirred, his eyes flickering open to reveal a gaze as deep and mysterious as the ocean itself. It was none other than Captain Hongjoong, his aura of danger and intrigue drawing you like a moth to a flame.

“People fear me a lot but I don’t want you to fear me. I’m not scared to lose anything but you.”

In that moment, amidst the crashing waves and the swirling mist, a connection sparked between you both—a connection that defied reason and logic, binding your fates together in ways you could never have imagined. His sea brothers, whom he gathered and grew up together with from the beginning pledged their loyalty to you.

As days turned into weeks and weeks into months, you found yourself drawn deeper into the world of the pirate Ateez, your bond with Captain and the crew growing stronger with each passing day. Seonghwa, the Quatermaster was always the one to accompany you whenever the captain was not around and the bonding grew into more intimate. His soft and comforting smile with the warmth of his skin against yours was enough for you to feel at home.

“love, we will always run to each other if we feel threatened. Your love is the strongest weapon to me.” He said and smiled down at you in his arms.

The cook who was also the head Rigger, Wooyoung was the playful menace of the crew and even though, you felt scared by others, he would be the one to grab your hand and run away to the vast fields or cuddling with each other on top, the crowsnest. Sometimes, the surgeon of the ship, Yeosang would also tag along with you both.

“I never had more fun spending time here but with you, I don’t want this to end any day.” You smiled towards the Rigger and nodded.

The surgeon planted his feet on the wood and left the rope’s grip, “I should agree too. Nothing can cure me more than your love, Y/n.”

You feared the first mate and the pilot, Yunho. His intimidating stare and the fire glinting in his eyes with a flick of curiosity to know if you were a stowaway on the ship made him distant with you but once when you risked your life for his. He became determined since that day that he would be the one in charge for your safety.

“I can risk everything to save you, pearl. You are the precious gem to me.” he cups your cheek before placing a kiss on your lips.

Mingi, the gunner was always the one to approach you with a welcoming aura but the weapons with him scared you at first. Eventually, when you spent nights with him, sharing deepest secrets, he knew your heart has been kept safe with him.

“you made me feel emotions which I didn’t know I could ever feel. Thank you, y/n.”

Jongho, the sailing master. You have watched him from afar while spending time with others but never once tried to approach him because of his cold appearance. You doubted his personality whenever you had caught a glimpse of his gummy smile. Once, when he was directing the other mates on the ship, you found out that Yeosang was also the navigator of the cabin crew. Yunho would always be with these two to ensure the perfect course of the journey.

“Jongho…you must be tired.” Your concerned voice made him smile towards you.

“never. I can’t ever be tired when I’m with you. You are my greatest strength.”

In the end, San, the striker and helmsman was the one who gave you the warmth in the ocean of coldness. His piercing eyes following each and every movement of yours around the ship was enough to feel you under watch. He was always hiding behind the darkness but one day when you risked your life for them, he stood under the spotlight to kill every individual who pointed their swords at you, even a single finger.

“even if I look back for once, I would look back at you before killing everyone who dared to point a finger.” He hugged you tighter.

He was the last one to fall in love with you but first one to accuse you. The days can’t be always be smooth and peaceful, just like the waves in the sea bed. Once, its silent then in the next moment it would be a roaring storm thrashing around.

Similarly, lurking in the shadows of your burgeoning romance was a darkness that threatened to tear you apart—a darkness in the form of another woman.

Driven by jealousy and vengeance, Mina vowed to destroy everything the Ateez held dear, starting with their heart--- you. And so, with her wiles and charms, she ensnared the affections of the eight pirates who had once pledged their love and loyalty to you.

One by one, they fell under her spell, their emotions wavering in the face of Mina's deceit. And though you fought with all her strength to reclaim their love, your efforts were in vain, for the pirates had chosen someone else—a betrayal that cut deeper than any sword.

>>>> <<<<

But, one fateful day, as you stood upon the deck of the pirate ship bound for distant lands, a familiar sight caught your eye—a merchant’s ship, its sails billowing in the wind, its bow cutting through the waves like a knife through butter.

“y/n…what are you doing?”

His voice made you flinch but still your attention on the merchant ship in distance didn’t waver. You gripped the railing tightly to fight back the weakness in front of him. his heavy boots hit against the wooden plank and the creaking sounds made shiver run down your skin.

When was the last time he called your name?

“I don’t know where she is. Go ask others.” Your reply was cold and he nodded to himself before stepping closer. As the two ships drew closer, your eyes followed the waves when you suddenly turned around and glared, “stop right there.”

He stopped in his track.

You felt a surge of emotions coursing through your veins—fear, anger, longing. But above all else, there was hope—a glimmer of hope that perhaps, just perhaps, the tides of fate had finally turned in your favour.

No one has ever dared to command anything to the captain except Seonghwa. Maybe you as well. As if by some twist of fate, today Captain has appeared before you, his gaze meeting yours with an intensity that sent shivers down your spine. You stood on your spot strong, with the fire in your eyes towards him.

"Y/n" he said, his voice a low rumble that echoed in the depths of your soul. "I am asking about you not her."

For a moment, you were speechless, your heart pounding in your chest as you struggled to comprehend the magnitude of what was happening. Could it be true? Could he still harbor feelings for you after all this time?

“because you can’t find her anywhere and thinking it’s something has to do with me.” your emotionless tone was pinching his skin. He licked his lips, staring at you with a hope to listen your sweet words. Your eyes wandered around and you felt odd. No one was in the sight and the ship was undoubtedly quiet. But when your eyes landed on the round stairs from the master cabin, you saw other seven figures descending down towards the plank where you stood with the captain.

Before you could formulate a response, Hongjoong took your hand in his, his touch sending a jolt of electricity coursing through your veins. "I know I have wronged you, y/n" he said, his eyes brimming with sincerity.

Why is he suddenly saying all these?

You snatched your hand from his grip and glared, the same look you sent towards the others when they approached near, “Why are you all here?” you again looked around, you leaned forward towards the railing to peek below, “where are the men and other workers? What’s going on?”

Seonghwa stood closer than others, “we sent them to collect all our necessary items for the journey.”

“Journey?”

“tomorrow before the dawn, we are leaving for Utopia.”

“and where is she?”

This time Wooyoung spoke up, “that’s something about which we are here to talk with you.”

“I don’t know anything about her.”

Even if you wanted to look strong yet you felt so weak under their heavy gazes. All their stares after so many months feeling so unfamiliar and strange. The last time when you had all their gazes on you was when you pointed Mina’s reason to be with you and they accused you of jealousy. They referred you as a child wanting to have their attention, being selfish with others. They said that you don’t have a little feeling towards a girl who seems like a sister.

More like an evil sister, who was there to ruin your family.

“of course you don’t know, y/n.” Wooyoung said softly but you scoffed, “then?”

“We did wrong for not believing you.” Seonghwa’s voice was soft, just a pitch higher than the whisper.

“why? She didn’t agree to sleep with you all?” you smirked, throwing a dirty look towards them.

“Y/n!” Hongjoong’s stern voice made you flinch. His clenched jaw and tight fist, the anger building inside him at your words. But you continued to fuel the fire of anger.

“do you want me to convince her for this? Just to let you know,  I can’t.”

“what are you saying? Why are you thinking of us like this?” Yunho asked you but deep down, he asked it to himself as well. He knew the reasons very well. He knew you were hurt for their deeds but he thought you will understand their ends.

“really? You are asking me this. So what else do you want me to think? That tomorrow morning, when we will be in the bed of the sea and with the best opportunity, you will throw me into the waters.” 

“What are you saying?” Yeosang’s low voice made you glance at him and his orbs searched for a little softness in you. The scene unfolding in front of him was so unusual. Basically, pirates should be the ones with emotionless and rough appearance but here they were asking helplessly from a mere girl.

Mere? No.

From their love. Their heart.

“where is she?” you asked again.

“in the brig.” You raised your brow at Hongjoong’s words. Why is she there? What did she do? Or are they here to take you to lock you up there? goosebumps appeared on your skin but it was hidden under the sleeves of the shirt. Your mind racing with the thought that now how has she accused you guilty this time that they all are here to escort you to the brig.

“I-I haven’t done a-anything.” Your voice broke and you turned around to face the sea.

Whenever you felt suffocated, your feet move on its own to stand at the edge of the quarter deck and inhale the scent of freedom. The village life was so harsh to you and after these pirates took you in with them for the long journey, you felt as if you have started a new life. A new dream with a new life beyond the horizon but last year, they turned their back at you. Leaving you behind all alone.

Seonghwa hugged your shaking body from behind, “hsshh love why are you scared?”

He made himself turned around with you in his hold, making you face them. You looked down to hide the falling tears of fear.

“what happened?” Hongjoong held your chin up to stare in your eyes. Your scared pupils reflecting the hurt and loneliness.

“I will serve you well, masters. But please don’t take me to the brig. I have no where else to go but please don’t end my life.” You wiggled under the oldest one’s hold but he held you tighter. He knew very well that if he lets you go, you would probably run away and won’t talk to them.

“Masters?” San was confused with your tone like others and the way you were addressing them. “why are you calling us this? And we are not taking you anywhere. We are here to…apologize.”

Your raging yet scared eyes stared at him, “apologize? For what? You have already given up on me. you all left me alone for…. For that girl. Calling me selfish because I wanted my lovers away from an outsider. Blaming me for every little mishap caused to her. Trusting the false accusations against me.”

You again tried to break free when he gripped your arms tighter, “stay still. You are not going anywhere unless we are done speaking with each other.”

“I don’t want to talk with you all.” But deep down you want to talk to them. Shout at them. You want to look at them longer, feel the warmth in their embrace. You want to feel their love for you again. If there’s still any feelings left for you.

“y/n…we didn’t give up on you for her.” Jongho spoke up and looked over his brothers. He realized how they have messed up the relationship for these past months because the new girl really lured them into trusting the lies but in the end, Yeosang really found out her real intentions behind all this.

“Yeosang found out that she befriended us to destroy us.” Mingi said and nodded along with Yeosang. The surgeon sat on the wooden drum and leaned forward, “she lied to us that she stays alone here. She has been sent from our enemy.”

“but still you all trusted her once. You all believed when she said I’m related to the captain Chan. You all even kept watch on me to see if I’m betraying you all.” You hissed and stepped forward when you felt the grip loosened around you. You glared back at him and walked towards the stool beside the boxes and sat on it. Wooyoung was standing closer to you.

Tears fell from his eyes when he saw your figure tired and lonely. They really kept themselves so busy to even take a little look at you in all these months.

“we are really sorry for that, y/n.” Hongjoong apologized and glanced at others.

“speak for yourself.” You rubbed your eyes and wiped the tears from the cheek, “I don’t think each of you is feeling the same.”

“No, it’s true. We are really sorry.” Seonghwa supported the captain’s words. Wooyoung slide down against the boxes and leaned back, “we shouldn’t have doubted you.”

Yunho folded his hands in front. Standing in front of you, looking the perfect pilot of the ship but somewhere a sense of betray reflecting from him. He shook his head, “I don’t know how we trusted her everything and didn’t believe you. I’m really sorry.”

“I know you are hurt, y/n. but please forgive us.” Yeosang stood beside Wooyoung and both of them eagerly waiting for your response.

“You all made me feel like a stowaway in my---your ship. I felt like an enemy lurking around you. You all were spending so much time with her. Your gazes were filled with love and admiration while looking at her but whenever your eyes fell on me, there was visible fire of hatred. It hurt me. I felt like to run away far from you. But I didn’t know where to.”

“This is also your ship. You are the aurora in the night sky for our journey.” San stated and smiled but it quickly disappeared when he saw your teary eyes looking back at him.

Mingi placed his elbow on top of a drum and leaned to his side, “you aren’t a stowaway. You are a part of the family. You are more than that. You are our heart, y/n.”

“didn’t you feel your heart ache while believing a liar and laughing with her despite my presence just near you?” you shot an angry look towards him.

Jongho stepped forward and stood beside the captain, “we are really guilty. Please give us a chance to prove that our love has not wavered.”

You bitterly chuckled, “Love?……pirate’s only love is their desire to sail free all around the sea with their conquered treasure.”

“And, you are our treasure, and our only desire is to be with you.” Wooyoung said it loudly, earning everyone’s attention on him. he flinched when he saw your intense gaze on him. He wanted to hold your hand run to the crows-nest and hug you tightly, promising everything to protect you and to never betray you.

“Where do you go every afternoon for these last few months?” Yunho’s question perked everyone’s ear, even yours. He noticed? Their curious gazes on you made you shift in your place.

“You don’t have to know about it.”

“y/n…please do let us know if you are in any danger.” Jongho asked you politely. You shook your head and looked to your side, avoiding their eyes. You didn’t notice when San came in front and kneeling. “Please, tell me.”

You casted a glance at him then to others before looking at your hands, “I was planning to run away with a help of a friend.”

“Run away with a friend?”

“His name is Ten. You all were busy ignoring me all these months…almost a year. He is a sailor and we met at a fortune teller shop. He offered me a helping hand to have a life on my own.”

San was shocked, “you trusted him?”

You nodded, “like you all trusted her. I have heard from others and they all were praising him. He is a good person. He listened to my stories every day, he showed me around the place, laughed with me, taught me new things……he spent time with me.” you paused and nodded to yourself before continuing, “maybe I’m selfish…I’m selfish because I want you all to myself. I felt jealous seeing you with her. Or maybe I should have open myself to others, should let myself to make more friends so that even if you think of leaving me one day. I should not feel hopeless but can continue my life ahead. Not beyond the horizon but beyond those mountains and low valleys.”

“Y/n…don’t leave us like this.” Wooyoung scooted towards you and the captain and quartermaster stepped closer, followed by others. They were surrounding you and you were sitting like a helpless one under their shadows.

“and why? How can I trust that you all will not accuse me of betraying again?”

Hongjoong glance at Seonghwa before stating, “if you leave us then we will be scattered, y/n.”

“and what about me? you all already made my feelings shattered when you all chose her over me because she proved me as a liar with some fake evidence. You all broke your own rules.”

Don’t trust a lie and never betray your family. --- their only rule.

Yeosang shook his head, “no, y/n. it won’t happen again.” Mingi nodded when agreeing with him. the scenario can’t be ever believed that the notorious group of pirates are helplessly asking forgiveness to you.

Before Yunho could speak whatever he was going to, you spoke up making him shut, “I really loved you all. When I promised not to betray you, I meant it. Even if you kill me someday, I will still have a belief that you are the only family I ever got in my life.”

“Y/n…”San whispered your name not to show his weak voice. 

“Are you not leaving us, right?” Mingi asked you when you stood up.

“I don’t know but I’m going to meet him now.” You placed your fingers over the belt to feel the knife well hidden underneath it. Hongjoong held your elbow stopping you from walking further, “you are not going anywhere.”

“And you are no one to tell me anything.” You jerked off his hand.

Yunho blocked your way when you turned towards the gangway. You shot him a glare but he returned the similar gaze directed to your soul, “don’t be stubborn. We are leaving tomorrow and don’t go anywhere today. We have to deal with Mina---”

“don’t say her name in-front of me!” you grabbed his coat and clenched your jaw. His hand moved up to cup your cheek but you swatted it away. “don’t touch me.” you pushed him aside. They watched how you stumbled a little while walking down the gangway and jumped to the shore from the last step. Seonghwa signalled something towards San and the latter nodded before following behind you.         

And in that moment, as the sun dipped below the horizon and the stars began to twinkle overhead, they knew that you had a choice to make—a choice between holding onto the pain of the betrayal or embracing the promise of a future filled with love and redemption.

You stopped in your track before entering the market, heart soaring with the knowledge that true love conquers all—even the darkest depths of the sea. And your true love really pulled them towards you again.

For in the end, it is not the storms or the tempests that define their journey, but rather the unwavering belief that no matter how far they may drift apart, they will always find their way back to each other, guided by the light of love that burns eternal in the darkness. And so, as the waves carry them toward new horizons and unknown shores, embark on a voyage of discovery—one filled with adventure, passion, and the promise of a love that will endure for all eternity.

Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @anyamaris @yeoobin @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames @dinonuguaegi @oreharuuu @hwanring @sanwifesstuff @kiwiisnthereoops @kiwiraccoon @hyuukah @kazscara @aceofspadesbiofalltrades @nvdhrzn [open!]

[eightmakesonebraincell]

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both sfw and nsfw fics are included. minors please dni with nsfw fics and respect the age restrictions put into place by the writers (suggestive, smut, and trigger warnings are highlighted in red)

🩶 favourites

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genre: bf!san x reader x bf's best friends!seonghwa yunho wooyoung, smut

length: twoshot - 10.4k

it’s always been just a harmless game, flirting with your boyfriend, san’s, good friends. he’s even in on it. but one night, he starts pushing things further than ever before. 

last updated: 01 april 2024

[honeyhotteoks]

into the aurora - chapter twenty-nine (ot8)

chapter twenty-nine: precious moments in the dark

chapter summary: in the aftermath of your night together with yunho, san, and wooyoung, it all comes out and seonghwa is there to hold you steady.

warnings: heavy smut warning here at the top, specifics in just a moment but also warnings for references to the use of safe word, conflicting emotions about polyamory, conflicting emotions about group sex, vague allusions to sexuality but pls don't worry no ones actually panicking about it. specifics for the smut include: discussion of bdsm dynamics, color system, safe words, detailed discussion about sex and consent, sex toys including vibrators and plugs, restraints, blindfolds, heavy praise, light allusion to free use, size kink/reader is described as little, rough sex, rough fingering, overstimulation, oral sex (m receiving), throat fucking / rough oral, cozy aftercare

pairings: ot8 x reader

genre: fluff, angst, romance, ateez ensemble x reader, polyamory, non-idol!reader, fem!reader, smut

word count: 14.5K

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The past few days have been off. That’s the only way to describe the strange hesitancy between you and Yunho. It’s the third night of him disappearing into his room to play video games instead of hanging out with you and it takes about a second after the door to his bedroom closes that you turn on San to figure out whatever this is. 

“You can’t blame him for being a little sensitive about it,” San murmurs, running his fingers up the back of your arm. 

“Sannie, he won’t even touch me,” You sigh, “he’s taking this too seriously,” 

“Just give him time to relax,” He insists. 

“It’s been days, and he’s never hurt me before,” You groan, grabbing a water bottle from the fridge, “and I don’t know why he thinks now would be any different. It wasn’t even that serious,” 

“Jagi,” San interrupts, “he’s just being careful with you,” 

“Careful,” You roll your eyes, and the water bottle nearly slips out of your hands when San wraps his arms around you from behind. 

“We all panicked,” San tells you, getting your attention by holding you steady against him, “all three of us were participating, and when we heard you say it, I think we all  thought something was really wrong, alright? I would have felt terrible if we really hurt you,” 

“I know,” You nod, leaning your head back against his chest, “I’m sorry, I know, but you and Woo don’t seem to be treating me any differently,” 

“Me and Woo weren’t in control,” San points out, “so cut him some slack and let him shake this off. In a couple of days he’ll be back to normal,” 

“Are you sure?” You murmur. 

“Yes, jagi,” San kisses your head, “he just needs a little space.” 

“But he did say he wanted to do it again,” You twist around in San’s arms. 

He sighs, shaking his head, “You’re stubborn,” 

“I am not,” You groan. 

“Listen,” San cups your cheeks to hold your gaze directly on him, “I’m sure that he does want to, we all do, but you need to give him a little time because right now when he thinks about it he’s probably just hearing your safeword, and it scared him,” San brushes your cheek with his thumb, “us, it scared us,” 

“Oh,” His words take the wind right out of your sails and he nods. 

“Be patient,” He says, “this is just how Yunho,” 

“What’s wrong with Yunho?” Seonghwa’s voice cuts through and you jump at the sudden sound of his voice in the kitchen, and San’s hands fall away from you. 

“God, Hwa,” You rest a hand over your fluttering heart, “you scared me,” 

“What’s going on? He’s all sulky,” He asks, eyes darting between you and San. 

“Nothing,” San brushes off immediately, giving your arm a final squeeze and stepping away. 

“Did you have a fight?” Seonghwa presses. 

“No!” You insist, “He’s just upset about something, it’s not a big deal,” 

Seonghwa raises an eyebrow, looking between you both again, “Sannie, you’re a terrible liar,” 

“I didn’t even say anything,” He groans, tossing up his hands. 

“Yeah,” Seonghwa shrugs, “but I can always tell when you’re nervous or keeping something, are right now you’re fidgeting like you injected coffee, so what’s up?” 

“It’s private,” You interject and San’s head snaps to you, his eyes widening when he hears your words. You know there’s nothing that really stays private amongst them, but this feels like something more, something intimate. 

“Oh,” Seonghwa looks oddly dejected, “but it's okay if San knows? Did I do something?” 

You sigh, dragging a hand through your hair and leaning back against the counter. Of any of them, he’s probably the best to talk this out with anyways, “Of course you didn’t, it’s just a little awkward,” 

“Awkward to talk about with me?” He leans on the countertop, his face open and ready to listen. 

“With anyone,”   

He nods, quiet and expectant. 

“Yunho’s upset because I used my safeword in bed,” You say it fast and simple, “and I was asking San’s advice,” 

The slight teasing smile drops off Seonghwa’s lips and he pushes himself back up to stand, “He’s upset you wanted to stop?” 

“Oh my god, no,” You rush to correct him, “no, sorry, he’s upset with himself,” 

“But you’re okay?” He checks, reaching out a hand for you. 

“I’m fine,” You insist, “which is what I keep telling Yunho, it genuinely was not a big deal, I just got dizzy and I needed to stop,” 

“You know him,” San cuts in, “he’s just beating himself up,” 

“I can talk to him,” Seonghwa offers.

“I shouldn’t even be telling you about this,” You shake your head. 

“I was just saying,” San says, “that she should just be patient. I know you think it wasn’t that bad, but it was a little scary. It took you a second to snap out of it and we all felt it,” 

Your eyes have been locked on Seonghwa the entire time, watching as his brain turns over San’s words, the phrasing clicking into place. You really didn’t want everything to come out like this. 

“We all?” Seonghwa’s eyebrow raises. 

San grimaces and looks at you. 

“It’s fine,” You groan, “it’s just Seonghwa,” 

“So,” Seonghwa gestures between you both, “something happened between you two and Yunho?” 

“And Wooyoung,” San adds. 

Seonghwa’s eyes go comically wide. 

“Can we not make this a thing?” You wave your hands, “This is strictly about Yunho suddenly treating me like a porcelain doll,” 

Seonghwa swallows and thinks it through before nodding, “Alright,” 

“Right,” San cuts back in, taking your upper arms in his hands, “listen, I’ve known him a long time. You’ve never really seen him upset before, but this is what it looks like. He gets quiet for a couple of days, figures things out himself, and then shows back up right as rain. Give him space,” 

“He’s right,” Seonghwa agrees. 

You glance between them, and fight the urge to bust into Yunho’s room and make him see reason. San and Seonghwa don’t falter though, they nod again until the words sink in. You sigh, your shoulders relaxing finally, “Okay,” 

“Good,” San smiles, tugging you into his chest so he can wrap his arms around you, “now can you please tell me how you are?” 

“I’m fine,” You insist. 

“Jagi,” He presses. 

“I’ll be better when things are back to normal. I don’t like when we fight or when things feel weird,” You reach out from San’s embrace to take Seonghwa’s hand and give it a squeeze. 

“I know,” San acknowledges. 

“I just,” The words catch in your throat. 

“What?” San prompts, smoothing down your hair with his hand. 

“I just hope I didn’t mess anything up with this whole thing,” You admit quietly into his shoulder. 

San shakes his head, pulling back from you so he can look into your eyes, “No, we had a good time. We said so after, we agreed. It wasn’t a mistake, it was just new. Let’s not ruin it with thoughts like that,” 

“Can I say something?” Seonghwa murmurs, taking a step closer. 

You nod and look to him. 

“It would probably be best if everyone knew,” Seonghwa says, “I know we don’t… share or pry into what we all do with you, but we also don’t keep secrets,” 

You chew the inside of your lip a moment, thinking it through, and then you nod, “We need to keep the Yunho conversation between us though, that wouldn’t be fair to him,”

“Agreed,” Seonghwa says, “otherwise I think we should all know so things don’t get awkward between us,” 

The sound of the garage door swinging open has you glancing up and you see that Hongjoong and Wooyoung are home from the gym and you blanch a little, “Now?” 

“Relax,” Seonghwa shakes his head, “it doesn’t have to be now,”

San’s hands fall away from you and you watch him glancing towards the door, crossing his arms a little uncomfortably. You’ve picked up on the fact that something tense is sitting squarely between Wooyoung and San, but it’s not clear exactly what.

 “Hurry up,” Wooyoung calls out the open door into the garage, pulling your attention away from the boys in front of you, “it’s freezing out there, we’re letting all the heat out!”

Mingi and Jongho jog through the door a moment later, their cheeks pink from the chilly air in the garage. 

“Hey,” Hongjoong spots you and his expression melts from serious concentration to relaxed in a second. 

“Hi, Joong,” You smile, and then you realize one of the bunch is missing, “Where’s Yeosang?” 

“Still there,” Hongjoong says, “he had a session with the physical therapist after,” 

“How long do we have?” Mingi’s voice cuts through as he drops his gym stuff by the door. 

Hongjoong checks his phone, “Forty,” 

“Got it,” Mingi weaves around you and fishes through the cabinets in the kitchen for another one of their workout supplements to add to his water bottle. 

You check your own phone, the Google Calendar blank on your side, “What’s tonight?” 

“A fitting,” Hongjoong explains, “for the video shoot next week, the stylists needed to move it up to have more time for alterations,” 

“Ah,” You smile, “I’m excited to see what they put you in,” 

“Same,” Wooyoung quirks his eyebrows at you before tapping his stomach, “I’ve been working on these,” 

You roll your eyes and San disappears from your side into the kitchen. 

Mingi wraps an arm around you from behind, tucking you into his chest as he takes a swig of his now slightly pink water, “You look cute,” he says, “are you going somewhere tonight?” 

Normally you’d sink back into his touch without a thought, but his skin is still slick with sweat and his damp t-shirt presses against your bare upper back where your workout top dips in the back. You wriggle out of his arms, “Mingi,” you whine a little, “you’re too sweaty,” 

His nose curls up in disappointment and he all but pouts at you, “I haven’t seen you all week,” 

“I’ll hug you when you change,” You prod him lightly in the ribs and he smiles. 

“What are you up to, tonight?” Hongjoong takes a long drink of his own water. 

“I finally convinced Ji-Ah to come to yoga with me,” Which should explain the more form fitting long sleeve athletic top that dips deeply in the back. You let Seonghwa tug your hand so that you settle onto his lap despite the awkward position of him perched on the arm of the couch. You give Seonghwa’s arm a squeeze and then add, “We’ll probably get some food after too, and tomorrow I’m picking up an extra class with her so I might be home a little late, they’re doing another self defense seminar,” 

Jongho smiles, “I thought you weren’t sure if you’d like it?” 

“Yeah, yeah,” You shrug, “but she was right. It’s actually really good,” 

“I want to see some moves,” Jongho teases. 

“I don’t know that you can handle it,” You smile, “I’m getting pretty good,” 

He opens his mouth to say something else, but the feeling of Seonghwa snapping the fabric of your bike shorts has your eyes flicking to him and he says, “Are you wearing these out?” 

You’re wearing sweatpants over them until you get to the studio, but he’s seen you around the house enough to know which leggings you’re wearing. You barely muffle the sharp short laugh, “It’s hot yoga,” 

He grimaces, “But you look really good in these,” 

“You’re cute when you’re jealous, Hwa,” You take his hand in yours and lace your fingers together. Looking back up to the group you notice a few things all at once. Where most of the boys are thinking through Seonghwa’s comments and likely picturing your shorts, Wooyoung who is usually the first to tease you or make a comment laden with innuendo isn’t looking in your direction at all. 

He looks distracted, sunken into his own thoughts and looking towards the kitchen where San disappeared a few moments ago. The sound of dish clanking against another dish draws your attention and Wooyoung slips away from you all to the kitchen. Seonghwa notices it too, and he gives you a soft squeeze. 

The slightly palpable tension between the two of them has been mostly unrecognizable to anyone but you and Yunho. They run hot and cold often, stuck to each other like glue one week and arguing the next, both of them the type to feel deeply passionate about something and stick in their corner about it. This feels slightly different though, they’re dancing around each other completely and you’re not surprised in the least when Hongjoong finally notices it. 

“What’s with you two?” Hongjoong gestures towards them as they come out of the kitchen, shifting away from each other completely, “Are you arguing about something?”

“No,” San’s quick to shake his head, “we’re good,” 

Wooyoung nods once, and keeps quiet. 

“You don’t seem good,” Hongjoong comments. 

Your hand tightens on Seonghwa’s thigh and he gives yours another squeeze. 

“We’ll work it out,” San says, but it’s clear to you that he’s trying to end the conversation here. 

“Well work it out before we’re filming tomorrow,” Hongjoong says, “I’m not trying to mediate something on set again.” 

San’s jaw tightens, a muscle twitching but he holds his tongue. Wooyoung makes a terse noise, “I don’t think this is something you want to be in the middle of anyways, hyung,”  

“Wooyoung.” You can’t stop yourself, you meet his eyes and shake your head. 

“What?” 

“Come on,” You murmur, shaking your head again, pleading for him to let it lie. It’s not the time to talk about it, not when they have such limited time to get out of the house. 

You can see that everyone’s confused in your peripheral vision, but you keep your eyes on Wooyoung. 

“I don’t see the point,” Wooyoung tells you, and Seonghwa wraps his free arm around your middle. You both brace for it, knowing that when Wooyoung gets his heels dug in about something there’s very little you can do to convince him otherwise. He looks back to Hongjoong, “We slept with y/n,” 

You could slap him for using the most ambiguous phrasing instead of just saying it. 

“Um,” Hongjoong glances to you, clearing his throat softly, “I thought that was… I mean, we all have, haven’t we?” 

“Jesus,” You mutter. 

“No,” Wooyoung shakes his head and gestures between him and San, “we, as in we both, and Yunho,” 

“Right,” Hongjoong still hasn’t picked up on it, but you watch it all connect in his expression when Mingi laughs. 

“That was fast,” Mingi grins. 

“Do we need to talk about this now?” Seonghwa offers, giving you an escape route. 

“It’s fine,” You sigh, “it’s… I don’t know, if it fixes this uncomfortable vibe, then let’s just get it out there.” 

“I really don’t need details,” Hongjoong shakes his head immediately. 

“Me either,” Jongho notes, “but, it’s fine, right? Nothing needs to be awkward,” 

You turn your head to him and he gives you a warm smile, the nervous flutter in your chest calming down immediately and you mouth a quiet thank you to him. 

“We just haven’t talked about it,” Wooyoung clarifies. 

“Alright,” You finally say, slipping off Seonghwa’s lap and addressing the group, “it’s a thing that happened, and we don’t need to have a whole team meeting about it,” you sigh, “but we also don’t keep secrets from each other, we promised we’d always be honest, so that’s that,” 

“Okay,” Hongjoong nods, and it takes him a second but he finally says, “the four of you are okay?” 

“Yes,” Yunho’s voice startles you, and you turn to see he’s been listening from behind you. He gives you a comforting smile and a nod and the joins the circle, “we’re good.” 

“Definitely,” San adds, “completely fine,” 

You don’t miss the way that Wooyoung seems to relax at San’s words and then he nods too, “We are, yeah, I just didn’t want to hide anything.” 

Hongjoong looks at you and you nod. He gestures towards Jongho and says, “He’s right then, nothing needs to be uncomfortable, we’re all adults here and we’re all dating y/n already,” 

“Exactly,” Yunho nods. 

There’s a beat of silence, stretching between you all and then it breaks suddenly. Mingi’s staring Yunho down with a conspiratorial, teasing expression and Yunho points at him, “Shut up,” 

“I’m just saying,” Mingi shrugs, and even though you all missed exactly what they communicated with each other so silently, it still breaks you apart into laughter, everyone else following suit. 

“Oh my god, okay,” You sigh, “now that that’s out there,” 

“Who’s telling Yeosangie?” San says and you clap a hand over your mouth. 

“I’ll do it,” Wooyoung tells you, taking in your briefly horrified expression the idea you’d have to tell him one on one, “I’ll… it’s fine, I’ll tell him.” 

“Oh, this is funny,” Jongho grins. 

“Jjong,” You slap his shoulder. 

“Can we,” Hongjoong sighs and checks his phone, “yeah, can we just drop this for now and get moving? We don’t have a lot of time,” 

“Yep,” Jongho nods, “I’m calling the shower,” 

“Second,” Mingi pipes in. 

Hongjoong looks at Wooyoung, expecting him to say third, but he just shakes his head, “Take it, hyung, all good,” 

The group disbands quickly, the air still a little awkward but with the upcoming schedules you know this conversation will have to stay out of mind for a while. The door is open now, it’s just a question of who will walk through it and when. Your stomach flips at the idea. 

Seonghwa presses a fast kiss to your hair and tells you he has to go get ready, and by the time you look back, it’s just you and Wooyoung left in the living room. Yunho slipped away as soon as the group started to break up, not even sparing a second glance back at you, and San followed just as fast, only stopping to give you a quick kiss. 

“Hey,” Wooyoung says, looking a little more tired than you’ve seen him since you moved here, “I’m sorry,” 

“It’s fine,” You assure him, “I didn’t really want to talk about it like this, but also, I mean, when is there a good time to announce that,” 

“Yeah,” He nods and pulls you into his arms, “Yunho still being weird?” 

“Yeah,” You sigh, “Sannie?” 

“Mhm,” He swallows hard. 

“Are you okay?” You reach for him, cupping his cheek and brushing your thumb along his cheekbone. 

He nods, “I’ll be fine,” 

“What’s going on between you two?” You prod him a little now that you’re in private, “Are you fighting about something?” 

“No,” He shakes his head, leaning into your warm palm a little, “I just tried to corner him to talk about it the other night, and he got kind of quiet. It’s no surprise that me pushing didn’t help, I should have just left him alone,” 

You exhale a short laugh, “San was just giving me that advice for Yunho,” 

He smiles, “We’re being needy,” 

“Probably,” You press up on your tiptoes to kiss him, “we can be needy together,” 

He kisses you back with ease, his fingertips running up and down your back as he relaxes into your touch. You can feel the tension in him, and the thoughts that you had been threading together for the past few days after seeing them together start to form a very clear picture. “Wooyoung,” You murmur, “He liked it, and he had a good time. He said so himself, he just needs some time to process,” 

“You’re right,” He nods, but you can still see the nervous shade of fear in him. 

“Hey,” You shake him out of it, “it doesn’t mean anything. It was fun, it was good sex. You and me, we talk things out, but you know them, they’re quiet, they think things through by themselves,” You parrot San’s advice from earlier, but the more you think about it the more you know he was giving advice for the both of them. 

“You don’t think he regrets it?” Wooyoung asks suddenly. 

“No!” You shake your head, tugging him into the kitchen for a little added privacy, “Baby, nothing’s changed. He told me half an hour ago that he wants to do it again. Yunho’s feeling stressed about how it ended, but I’m pretty sure we all walked away knowing how good it was,” 

“It was, wasn’t it?” He smiles. 

“Yes,” You squeeze his arms, “It was incredible,” 

“Good,” He sighs softly, kissing you again. 

“Woo,” You wrap your arms around his neck to stabilize yourself, pressing up again on your tiptoes, “come here,” 

His kiss starts slow, gentle and easy, stress melting away moment by moment. 

“God,” You sigh against his lips, surging forward again to keep your lips locked together. 

He shuffles you both back until you’re sandwiched between him and the kitchen wall, his hand slipping down to cup your backside and lift you a little to support your weight better as he parts his lips and dips his eager tongue in your mouth. You groan softly against him, feeling his cock starting to stiffen where his hips are pressed against you; 

“Fuck,” He sighs, nuzzling you with his nose gently, “I love your mouth,” 

“I know,” You tug him closer, “you tell me all the time,”

“Do I?” He kisses you again. 

“Constantly,” 

“Mm,” he nips at your lip, “should I stop?” 

“Absolutley fucking not,” You grin, capturning his mouth again. 

He laughs against your lips, his hands tight and hot, and it takes Hongjoong’s sharp time reminder from the upstairs hallway to keep you from dragging him into your room and making you both forget about every ounce of stress. 

He drops you back down and steps away, sighing and readjusting himself a little in his sweats so that it’s not quite so painfully obvious he’s half hard. He clears his throat softly, “Thank you,” 

“For the kiss?” You laugh immediately. 

“No,” He rolls his eyes, “for talking to me,” 

“Of course,” You soften, “always,” 

“Also,” He grins, something flickering in his gaze when he steps forwards and tugs at the top of your leggings, “Hwa’s right, I can’t believe you’re wearing these tiny fucking shorts,” 

There he is, you think to yourself, and you bust out laughing, “Get out of here,” 

“You should show them to me later,” He shrugs, flirtatious, “I like yoga,” 

“I bet you do,” You push him back a step and he laughs. 

“You could teach me to like yoga,” 

“Jung Wooyoung,” You’re about to scold him, but Hongjoong’s voice from the hall does it for you. 

“Fifteen minutes!” 

“Gotta go,” Wooyoung kisses you once more, fast and hard, “think about it!” He’s jogging around the corner before you can say anything back, but it doesn’t matter.

They leave in a hurried rush, piling into their manager’s cars fast, shouting quick goodbyes. You’ve gotten used to this part of your life now, watching them go. 

You get cleaned up, go to yoga with Ji-Ah, and drag her out for a bit of food after. When you finally make it home, it’s still early enough and you have time to yourself in the quiet. It’s another hour before they’re finally back, lighting your night back up with busy sound. It becomes apparent quickly though that they’ve been thinking about your conversation earlier. Yunho’s still keeping his distance without ruffling too many feathers. San and Wooyoung are still sitting separately on the couch. Hongjoong’s hand on your knee is a quick pat, not the comfortable and slightly possessive grip you’re used to. Yeosang is back too, but too tired to really talk and you wonder if they’ve told him. 

It isn’t until Seonghwa wraps his body around yours a little while later that you realize none of your other boyfriends are acting quite right. It makes sense - a dynamic shifted inside their friendship of almost five years, you’d be shocked if none of them had a shred of hesitation or question. None of that takes away from the fact that now you’re the one standing on the edge and waiting to know how they really feel. 

It isn’t until later, when everyone’s drifted off to bed except for you and Seonghwa, that your anxieties bubble up to the surface, bursting out of you.  

“You seem irritable,” Seonghwa says, stretching out on your bed while you pace from side to side. 

“Do I?” 

He laughs, “You’re going to wear a hole in the floor,” 

You sigh, running a hand through your hair, “It’s… I mean now that everyone knows things feel tense. You’re the only one besides San and Wooyoung who aren’t keeping their distance from me, and Yunho’s still upset.”

“It’s all fine,” He assures you, “we’ll probably talk it through tomorrow. My guess is that not everyone is interested in participating,” 

“Which is why we should have never played that stupid game,” Your mind flicks back to the soju and the round of questions. 

“No,” He protests, “most of us do want to,”  

“I don’t know,” You chew the inside of your lip. 

“Jagi, will you come over here already,” Seonghwa reaches for you and opens and closes his hand to gesture you over, “I promise it’s fine, we all already kind of talked about it. No one’s uncomfortable, I think it just happened quicker than we imagined. You know us though, we’re a team. All of us.”

“You talked about this?” You stop your pacing and turn towards him as you register his words. 

“After that night,” He nods. 

“And?” 

He smiles, gesturing you over again, “Everyone is fine with it,” he reiterates, “Hongjoong and Jongho don’t seem too interested in being a part of anything in a group, and Yeosangie was on the fence, but we all agreed it wouldn’t change anything. We’ve been together a long time, a little sex isn’t going to change that,” 

“Really?” You murmur, finally taking his hand and letting him pull you down onto the bed next to him. 

“Mhm,” He squeezes your hand before letting go, “now why don’t you tell me what else is going on in that head of yours. I can feel you thinking,” 

He’s so good at reading you sometimes, attuned to your little idiosyncrasies and always eager to help or give advice. The real reason for your nerves flutters up to the surface, “I’m worried that I’m asking too much,” 

He holds your eyes for a moment, replaying your words and then he grins, “You’re worried that we’ll… what? Feel like more sex or something new is… a burden?”

You grimace, but he’s hit the nail on the head. 

“Oh my god,” Seonghwa shakes his head, sliding closer to you on the bed so that you’re both closer to the center, “darling, you are seriously mistaken if you think we don’t want you all the time or don’t want to give you as much pleasure as you give us.” 

“Hwa,” You manage, but you're caught in the intensity of his gaze. 

“I’m serious,” He cups your cheek, “have I ever given you the impression that I didn’t want to do something or try something with you? That I wasn’t interested in you or,” 

“No!” You shake your head, “Of course not,” 

“Then what’s all this about?” He presses again, and you wish he would let it lie but you started this whole thing and he’s going to make you finish it. 

You exhale heavily and leap, “This is hard for me,” you start and he stays quiet but nods to encourage you forward, “you remember In Su?” 

He looks confused immediately, “Of course,” 

“I think it’s obvious he was a pretty terrible boyfriend,” 

Seonghwa’s jaw tightens. 

“And sex with him was… always about him,” You settle on. 

“y/n,” Seonghwa softens a little but you can see the tension in his neck and jaw, and he smooths his thumb over your cheek, “did he do something?” 

“No,” You rest a hand on his chest, fingertips brushing along his throat, “I’m just trying to explain that I had a hard time for a while and I didn’t have the best taste in guys. I dated a few different boys in school, dated might even be a strong word for it, but what I’m trying to say is that this is not what I’m used to,” 

“I’m a little lost,” Seonghwa admits. 

“Sorry,” You shake off your own thoughts and try your best to sum it up for him, “I’m not being very clear, but I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’ve had my fair share of experiences with sex before I moved here, and it wasn’t necessarily bad, but the majority of men I’ve been with weren’t really interested in what I wanted let alone entertaining things I wanted to try,” 

“Oh,” 

“So I’m not sure what’s in the water supply over here,” You smile, trying to lighten the mood again, “but all eight of you being open and giving and adventurous? That’s new for me,” 

“Ah,” He starts to say, but you keep going. 

“Sometimes I feel like I’m waiting for it all to come apart,” 

“Can I say something?” He asks softly and you nod, “The eight of us are generally good people, at least we try to be. We make mistakes, and certainly we won’t always get everything right, especially in a relationship. Especially when there’s nine competing points of view. I’m sure it won’t always be easy, and I’m ready for that,” 

He smooths his hand along your arm, “I normally wouldn’t speak for everyone,” he says, “but by now I hope you know that we’re more than willing and open. We’re all figuring things out together, it’s hardly an orthodox arrangement, and I’m sorry your experiences before have made you uneasy now, but I promise we aren’t that way.” 

“I know you aren’t,” You assure him, “and to be honest I’m still figuring out what it is that I want too,” 

“That’s the fun part,” Seonghwa brushes the pad of his thumb gently over your bottom lip, “we’re all young, we’re all still figuring it out together, and we have nothing but time to do that,” 

“I guess that’s true,” You murmur. 

Seonghwa laughs suddenly and your eyes flick back up to him, “Jagi, we’re idols, we barely have time to have dinner with our friends let alone date. We always made it work, but I think you’re under the impression that we’re all very experienced and knowledgeable,” 

The absurdity of it all is crystal clear now - they’re just as unsure but just as curious as you. You fall into giggles with him, pressing closer to him and burying your face in his chest. 

He sighs, kissing your hair softly, “This is new for all of us,”

“ So, you’re saying I should relax,” You kiss his chest in return. 

“Mhm,” He replies, “here in this house, we can be ourselves. There’s no judgment or worry about the press, no stress about making each other uncomfortable. We can just be honest,” 

“Honest,” You nod. 

“So whatever happens or doesn’t happen between us,” He cuddles you close, “that’s for us to figure out together.”

“You’re right,” 

“And,” He shifts so that he can look down and hold your gaze, “if you want to explore something… I mean, I would more than love to be that person for you.”

“Come here,” You tug him down, “kiss me,” 

His lips are soft, starting slowly to gauge your pace, but when you sigh against his mouth and slip your hand up the back of his shirt to touch the soft expanse of his back, he kisses you breathless. 

“You trust me?” Seonghwa asks suddenly, pulling away with an unsteady inhale, and you blink up at him. 

“Of course,” You smile, sighing, recovering from the kiss.

“Stay here a minute,” He murmurs, “I have something I want to show you,” 

He rolls off the bed and smiles at you as he disappears through your sliding door. You have no idea what it is that he’d want to show you or what his plan might be in the least, the way he suddenly disconnected your lips and left, like his brain had been working the whole time you were kissing him. 

You’re picking at a stray thread on your comforter when he reappears with a small black gift bag. 

“What’s this?” You’re sure you look confused. 

“A little while ago, I ordered a few things,” He says, placing the bag on your nightstand and sliding back onto the bed with you. He looks a little nervous suddenly even after all the confident exploration talk and you nudge his thigh. 

“Things for what?” 

“For us,” He explains, picking up the bag again, “I feel like you and I have been trying things, and I thought it might be nice to keep doing that together,” 

“Hwa,” You smile, “what’s in the bag?” 

“Some things we might want to try,” He outstretches his hand to pass you the bag and you feel a nervous thrill pass through you. 

“How long have you had this?” You ask before you open it. 

“A month or so, maybe?” He answers honestly, “I wasn’t sure when to bring it up, but after what you said tonight, maybe it’s the right time,” 

You open it slowly, and there’s no way your eyes don’t widen in surprise when you take in everything that is neatly nestled in the bag. 

He clears his throat softly when you don’t respond, “Some of it might not be for you, I was just guessing” 

You pull the items out one by one and lay them out next to you to make sure you’ve pulled everything from the bag and then you take stock. He’s gathered a little collection of toys, and you should have known that out of any of them, he would be interested in taking things up a level. Your eyes flick over them; a small clitoral vibrator that advertises that it’s great for couples on the box, a set of plugs for beginners that increase in size, one bottle of water-based lubricant and one bottle that’s warming. You bite your lip when you take in the blindfold, and your stomach clenches at the neatly folded set of silk restraints. The last item makes you smile, a remote controlled vibrator for you to wear and presumably for Seonghwa to control. 

“What?” He smiles too. 

“I’m not sure what your plan for this one is,” You tap the box, “but I already know it’s going to be intense.” 

He laughs, “Yeah, we should probably save that one,” 

You look over the items again, “I think I’m comfortable with everything,” 

“I thought,” Seonghwa brushes his hand up your thigh, “maybe I could help relieve some of your tension tonight,” 

You nod, but you don’t have any real idea where to start. Everything that you’ve done with Seonghwa up to this point that borders on rough or dipping into BDSM dynamics is brand new to you, and somewhat to him too. You’ve been taking baby steps up to this point, but it feels like now you’re at a turning point in your relationship with him, with all of them. 

“Let’s just relax and,” 

“No,” You interrupt him, “Hwa I want it,” 

His adam’s apple bobs as he swallows hard, “Want what, exactly?” 

“Everyone’s being so hesitant… and Yunho’s so fixated on hurting me,” You take the leap, “I just need someone to touch me for real. I won’t break,” 

Seonghwa wets his lips and nods, before getting up and moving his collection of items to your nightstand. He holds out a hand for you, “Come here a second,” 

You let him wrap you up in his arms, and you wait for what he has to say, little nervous bubbles bursting inside you. 

“I’ve been reading up on some things since that night,” He doesn’t have to explain which night. ‘That night’ has become synonymous for when you all got drunk and fully opened up about your sex lives, “and there’s a lot more to this than I thought,”

“What do you mean?” 

“I know we were joking around with the whole dom thing,” He smiles, “but I wanted to figure it out a little better,” 

“Oh,” Your eyes widen and he squeezes you. 

“I did a lot of reading,” He says, “and I don’t actually know if those terms make sense for us, but I did learn a lot about the right and wrong way to do certain things.”

“Like what?” You can almost feel your heart beating faster with anticipation. 

“Let’s get comfortable and then we can talk through it,” He drops a quick kiss on your forehead and moves to strip off the heavy comforter from your bed. 

A sudden click in your brain ignites that you have something tucked away in your drawers for this exact moment, “Oh, Hwa, close your eyes,” 

“What?” His face twists in confusion. 

“I have something for you too,” You start towards your dresser, “but you have to close your eyes,”

His eyes flick over you and then he lets them fall shut, “Surprise me,” 

“Don’t peek,” You hurry through changing, shucking off your sweats and locating the black mesh bra and panties set. You bought a little collection of prettier lingerie a month or so ago, but all the busy schedules don’t leave a lot of time for planned nights alone. 

“Mm, y/n,” Seonghwa sighs, “you’re taking too long and I want to see my surprise,” 

“Patience,” You assure him, checking your reflection in the mirror to be sure everything looks as it should. You snap up a sweatshirt from the chair in the corner and slip it over, leaning directly into a look you know makes him a little crazy. 

“Jagiya,” He whines in a slight sing-song, “baby,” 

“Shh,” You slap his thigh as you climb over him and settle onto the bed, and he grins but keeps his eyes closed just the same. You settle next to him and prod his ribs, “alright, open,” 

He opens them slowly, smiling as he shuffles closer to you on the bed, “Hi,” He pulls you in a little closer, his hands searching you and slipping under the sweatshirt, “this is cute, am I supposed to unwrap you?” 

“Mhm,” You peck his lips, “after we talk,” 

His eyes flick down, coasting over your bare legs and he slips his hand down to cup your ass, “You’re really good at distracting me, but I also really want to talk about this,” 

You reach down for the edge of the comforter and yank it up over the two of you, snuggling closer to him so that you’re eye to eye resting on the pillows, “Let’s talk, what’s on your mind?” 

“I’ve been reading,” He says again, focusing now on what’s important and not the feeling of your body pressed up against his, “there are a lot of things that I hadn’t really considered. We’ve done some things that I think I should have been better prepared for,” 

You’re about to ask what, but he closes his hands around your wrist and rubs your skin here with the pad of his thumb lightly. He gives you a soft smile and then says, “I could have hurt you or it could have taken too long to get the belt off if you had asked to stop,” 

“I liked it though,” You assure him, not exactly sure yet what he’s trying to say. 

“Something that’s important,” He says, “is that we agree on limits beforehand. I didn’t know there were safe ways and unsafe ways I could restrain you, and I didn’t know what it could feel like for you after, I need to be better about that,” 

“So you want to restrain me?” You nudge his chest to try and keep things light. 

“Safely,” He squeezes you, “and I bought these things to try, but I want you to know what I’d like to do with them before you agree, and I want to agree on how we slow down and stop if you need to, especially now.” 

“I’d like that,” You murmur, watching him relax under your touch now that he knows you’re also open and willing to talk this through. “What else did you read?” You ask. 

“Well,” He brushes his fingers along your cheek, “the most important thing is consent, but if we do keep exploring this a bit and you want me to continue being more rough with you, then I think it’s important that I know what you need from me after we’re finished,” 

“What do you mean?” He always takes care of you well after, pulling you in for cuddles so you can fall asleep in each other’s arms. 

“I read that your body can register things that your mind isn’t picking up on right away,” He explains, “so when I’m rough with you, or if you ever wanted me to say mean things to you,” 

Your brows perk up at his words and your eyes widen at the mention of that uncharted territory. 

“I said if,” He rolls his eyes and kisses your forehead, “my point is that all of that spikes your adrenaline, which feels good during, but might not feel so good after.” 

“I mostly feel exhausted after,” You smile, “but that makes sense,” 

“It’s my job to get you what you need afterwards,” He brushes his fingers over your cheek again, “I need to make sure you don’t crash too hard, that you’re reminded you’re safe and,” 

He stops short and you nudge him again, “Safe and what?” 

“Cared for,” He cards his fingers through your hair, “and I should have been doing that before,”

“You were,” You shake your head. 

He dips forward to press a warm kiss to your lips, holding you close and slipping his hand further under your sweatshirt to rest on your bare back. 

“Hwa,” You murmur against his lips, “please can you tell me what you want to do to me faster? I need you,” 

“Alright, alright,” He disconnects your bodies and then takes your hand in his, lacing your fingers together, “we’ve tied your hands before, is that something you liked?” 

Heat pools in your belly and you nod, “Definitely,” 

“Then can I tell you what I’d like?” 

“Please,” You squeeze his hand, letting him know he can be honest. 

“I’d like to tie your hands together like we did before,” His eyes flick down to your wrist, “and then tie you down to the bed,” 

You swallow hard, and let him continue. 

“And then I want you to wear the blindfold,” He murmurs, “and I want you to make you come as many times as you can take, and then I want you for myself,” 

A chill runs up your spine and you can’t stop the light shiver, “Okay,” 

Seonghwa shakes his head, “Not just okay, tell me if everything is good, or only some. What are you thinking?” 

“I’m,” You stop yourself from just agreeing, from saying good. You think it through, what he wants and what that means and you shake your head, “I’m a little nervous,” 

“Talk to me then,” He murmurs, “what part makes you nervous?” 

“The blindfold,” You tell him honestly and he nods, “I want to try it, but could we take that slow?” 

“Mhm,” He assures you, “what would make you comfortable?” 

You think a moment, looking at the collection of toys, “I don’t want my legs tied, just my hands,” 

“Okay,” 

“And maybe just keep talking to me?” You try to put yourself in the headspace of not being able to see, “I don’t want to feel alone,” 

“I’ll be right here the whole time,” He assures you, his voice warm and soft, “I won’t leave you,” 

Your stomach clenches at his words, but you push those feelings to the side. You nod and take a deep breath, “Then I’m good,” 

“Are you good with these?” Seonghwa taps the box of plugs. 

“Yeah,” You bite your lip, “I’ve always wanted to try one,” 

“Let’s try together then,” He leans in to kiss you again, “I’ll take good care of you,” 

“I know,” You murmur. 

“Last thing,” He smiles, “a safe word is good, but I want to use the traffic light system,”

“Green means go, red means stop?” You surmise. 

“Yellow means slow down,” He adds, “so if I ask for a color, tell me where you are,” 

“I can do that,” 

You love him a little for this, the way he’s able to pull apart your needs one by one and understand exactly what the right or wrong pace might be. He reads you so well, practiced and attuned to you now, his level of care and attention to detail at getting this right filling you with calm energy. 

There’s a beat of silence between you, and now that you’ve talked about it, there’s only one place to go from here. You both wait to see who will make the first move. In the end, it’s you. “Are you going to unwrap me or not?” 

He tugs you forward quick, crashing his lips onto yours and tipping you back into the bedding, “Tease,” 

“You like it,” You sigh, a little breathless again already at the kiss. 

His lips pepper down your neck until he reaches the fabric of the sweatshirt, but instead of speeding up, he slows back down. Settling over you, he presses slow, warm kisses through the fabric down your chest that travel lower and lower still. He leans back up so he can settle on his knees between your open legs, and he pushes the sweatshirt up slowly to reveal your body to him inch by inch. 

“Mm,” He tugs at the fabric of your black panties, “these are new,” 

“For you,” You arch your back a little, stretching under his hands. 

“Is there more to match?” He murmurs, sliding his hand over your breast, the fabric of your sweatshirt riding up, “How pretty, baby,” 

“You like it?” 

“Let’s take this off,” He helps you out of the sweatshirt entirely, tossing it off the side of the bed. His eyes rake over you now, “I love my surprise,” 

“I thought you might,” 

He settles above you again, pressing his mouth to yours, deepening the kiss quickly and not giving you a moment to pull back or catch your breath. He’s hard already, you can feel his cock insistently pressing against your thigh, but he focuses on you - palming your breast, flicking your nipple sharply through the mesh fabric, teasing your skin with a gentle scrape of his nails along your side. 

It feels like he’s kissing you for forever, until you let out a needy whine and reach around to grab his hip to pull him closer. He shakes his head and pulls your hand away, pressing it down into the mattress, “Put your hands away, darling,” 

You smile, your foreheads pressed together and sharing one warm panting breath between you, “I thought you wanted to do that,” 

“Mm,” He nips at your bottom lip with his teeth, “good point,” 

You groan softly as he pulls away, his fingers pinching your nipple just enough to make your hips jerk, teasing you into the whining mess you know he wants to see. He takes the silky restraints and sits on the edge of the bed, “Come here, love,” 

You ease up to sit by him and without him needing to ask you offer your wrists over, pressed together and ready for him. You watch as he carefully winds the cloth around your wrists, stopping to think for a moment in the middle to make sure he’s getting it right. The sudden thought of Seonghwa in his room watching a video tutorial on the proper way to bind a partner’s wrists pops into your mind and a laugh bubbles up in your throat. 

“What?” His eyes flick up to yours, but he keeps focused. 

“Nothing,” You shake your head, “I’m just… I love that you did research, that’s actually incredibly sexy of you,” 

“Oh yeah?” His one eyebrow quirks up, but he’s finishing his knot and testing to see how tight the wrap is. 

“Mhm,”

“How’s that feeling?” He checks with you. 

You test the binds, tugging your wrists apart and seeing that they’re tight together but not uncomfortably so, this fabric is already so much more comfortable than what you had used to make due before. “It’s good,” You assure him, “not too tight,” 

“Alright,” He stands, facing you on the bed now and cupping your cheek in his warm hand, “can you get on your knees for me, baby?” 

It takes a second, but you manage to push onto your knees, Seonghwa slipping a hand under your upper arm to help you get there. He bites his lip as he looks you over, and then he starts to maneuver you into a position you weren’t expecting. As he starts to press down onto your upper back to indicate you should drop down to your elbows and face the headboard you glance back at him, “Like this?” 

“Perfect,” He nods, “get comfortable and I’ll get your hands,” 

You spread your knees a little to better balance yourself since your hands aren’t able to stabilize your weight, and you arch your back and stretch your arms out a little in front of you. You watch as he winds a restraint around the rungs of your headboard and secures it to the binds around your wrists. He tugs for you, testing the distance you can get, and it’s not much. 

“Still okay?” He coasts a hand up your back. 

“Mhm,” 

Your breath catches in your throat when he lays the blindfold next to you. Seonghwa softly strokes your hair and murmurs, “How are we feeling about this now?” 

You’re deeply nervous, but you trust him. You nod and take a steadying breath, “Put it on me, please,” 

It’s quiet for a moment, and then you feel the bed shift, the black fabric coming down over your eyes, “There we go,” he says quietly as he ties it behind your head, “feel okay?” 

You shake your head yes, but your voice isn’t anywhere to be found. You’re sure that you’re trembling already, the sudden lack of sight both thrilling and a little terrifying. Your mouth feels dry and you squeeze your hands experimentally, testing the lead attached to the bed to understand your limited range of motion. 

“Let’s start slow,” He soothes you, “nothing new yet, just my hands,” 

“Okay,” You manage, resting your forehead on the mattress between your elbows. 

You feel the bed shift as he settles next to your raised hips, your body jerking naturally when he finally touches you, his hands softly running over your backside, “It’s just me,” 

You know it, of course you know it’s only him, but something in the way he says it settles your quickening heart all the same. 

“You’re so pretty like this,” He murmurs, his hand shifting to slip between your thighs now, pressing on your warm core through the mesh fabric of your panties, “all ready and waiting for me,” 

His fingers press over your clit and you shudder, exhaling heavily into the sheets. 

“Wet already,” He presses a kiss to your hip, “have you been aching for me all day, jagiya?” 

“Yes,” You pant, “please,” 

His fingers start to circle, rocking slowly, but every move drags the rough fabric across your sensitive bud and the stimulation has you squirming already. You arch your back further, pressing your body into his hands and silently asking for more. 

“You’re perfect,” He praises, leaving a trail of kisses over your backside as he works his hand, “you sound so pretty for me,” 

“Hwa,” You moan, pushing your hips back into his hand again, “baby,” 

His fingers lift away and you moan at the loss of contact, twisting around as if you could see him but caught by the restraints.

“Shh,” He keeps his hands on you, letting you know exactly where he is, “I’m just going to take these off,” His fingers slip under the waistband of your panties and he slowly pulls them down off your hips until he hits your knees, “lift up for me,” 

You tuck your toes under and press up just enough so he can take them off completely, and you hear the soft sound of them connecting with the wood floor. 

“Open up,” He murmurs, pushing your knee a little and you adjust your stance for him. 

Every little sound you’re suddenly acutely aware of - the shifting of fabric, the creak of the bed, a box opening to your left, the sound of your own breath heavy in your ears. He’s been quiet for too long, and logically you know he’s probably just pulling a few of the toys out of their packaging and getting prepped, but you can feel your hands going clammy and the nerves starting to bubble up. 

“Seonghwa,” Your voice sounds a little sharper than you intend it to. 

“Here,” He assures you, “I’m right by your nightstand, I’m just getting ready,” 

“Can you touch me, please?” You turn your head towards his voice, searching for him. 

You hear the box drop and his hands are back on you, gently running up and down your back and smoothing back your hair. He understood the tone of your voice with ease, the slight strike of neediness not looking for pleasure but for safety, to feel his touch grounding you. 

“I have you,” He murmurs, “I won’t leave,” 

“Please don’t,” You beg him softly. 

“Never,” He murmurs, “tell me a color, darling,” 

“Green,” You nod, the nerves melting with every touch, “just keep talking to me,” 

“I got you,” His hands slide back down to your hips, “still just my hands,” 

He slides two fingers through your wet slit to locate your swollen clit and you can’t stop the moan that sighs out of you, “Yes, please, “

“You want to come on my fingers, don’t you,” He picks up the pace, his voice taking a slightly harder edge. 

“Fuck,” You pant, pressing your eyes shut tightly even though you don’t need to. 

“Do you like my hands, baby?” He murmurs, “do you want to feel my fingers inside?” 

Heat flushes through you and you nod, frantic and hot, “Please,” 

He shifts on the bed and your body jerks, “Here we go, stay still for me,” It’s not clear at first what you’re feeling, but it clicks together in your brain when his fingers sink inside you. 

His left hip is pressed against yours as he kneels on the bed facing the footboard, his hand locked down on your other side to hold you tight to him, his right hand returning to your slick core to push two fingers deep inside you in one firm thrust. The whine that it pulls from your mouth makes him chuckle and he squeezes your hip hard. 

“Should I fuck you like this?” He drags his fingers out and thrusts them back in as far as he can. 

“God, yes,” You jerk again but his hands on you keep you steady. 

“Can you come just from this?” He pumps them again, this time starting to fuck you with his fingers at a slow, firm pace. He knows you can come like this, but he needs to hear you say it. 

“Yes, baby, yes,” You want to move but you can’t. 

“My fingers feel that good?” He teases, pumping into you faster. 

You choke out a moan, burying your face into the mattress to muffle the noise and you jerk but the tie connecting you to the headboard leaves you trapped. 

“Tell me,” He directs you, “say it,” 

“Ah, H-Hwa,” You try to get your voice back, “You feel so fucking good,” 

“Can my sweet girl take another?” His own breath sounds tight and strained. 

You can only manage a whine, and he adds a third finger, pushing into your tight channel with even more pointed thrusts. You’re close in seconds, thighs trembling at the effort of holding yourself up while he brings you so close to the edge of pleasure. You sink into your position a little more deeply, and the adjusted angle of your hips leaves his fingers rhythmically pumping against the perfect sweet spot inside. 

“I’m so fucking close,” You grip down on the silks that run between your hands, your body building up, the pressure so close to snapping. 

“Come on my fingers, pretty girl, I need you ready to take my cock,” 

If he wasn’t holding you so tightly braced against his own body you would have dropped right then and there, the sudden shuddering connection of your release leaving you completely boneless and disoriented, and you have to bite down to keep from moaning loud enough to wake the whole house. 

His fingers slow until he finally slips them out and he adjusts, easing you down flat so you can rest a minute. He keeps his hand warmly in the center of your back, a grounding touchstone that centers you back in your body. 

“Feeling good?” He murmurs, ruffling your hair a little. 

“Mm,” You sigh. 

He gives you a moment, but when you hear the cap of a bottle unclick you perk up again. He brushes a hand down your spine, “A little more now,” 

“W-what’s next?” You swallow hard. You know the point is that you don’t know what he’s doing to you or what he’s touching you with, but you’re not quite there. 

“I want you to relax just like you are,” He says, his voice so soothing and even toned, “the next thing you’ll feel is still my hand,” 

You nod, trying to let yourself relax like he wants you to and your legs fall slack, widening a little further. 

You hear the sound of the bottle and then you feel him again, one hand cupping your ass and squeezing your soft flesh, and the other dipping between your cheeks. You suck in a sudden rush of air when he presses one lubricated finger to the tight ring of muscle, circling softly to spread the slippery substance around. 

“Color?” He asks quietly. 

You swallow and nod, “Green,” 

“Good girl,” He soothes and you feel your muscles flutter in response to his words and the tone of his voice, “I’m just getting you ready for the plug,” 

“Mhm,” You sigh, and he presses a little more, easing you open with the tip of his finger. The sensation is surprising, a pleasant pressure you didn’t expect and your mouth falls open as he pushes a little further, easing a finger inside slowly. 

“How’s that feel?” He asks softly, pumping his finger slowly just enough that you can get used to the sensation. 

“G-good,” You nod, “keep going,” 

His finger slips out and he taps your hip, “Can you come back up for me now?” 

Once again he helps you get up, settling into the same position on your knees with your back arched and your body on display for him. He hums pleasantly, his hand squeezing one cheek, “Will you let me fuck you like this?” 

Your breath catches but you nod, “I’m yours,” 

“That’s right,” He squeezes you again, and then his hand leaves you. “Tell me if you need me to stop,” He says softly, and then you feel it. 

The stainless steel plug is cold, that’s the first thought that rockets through your mind and you jump at the sensation, a shiver running up your spine. 

“Did…” He lifts the plug away, “Is it,” 

“Cold,” You interject, “it’s okay,” 

He sighs above you, “Should I keep going?” 

“Please,” You urge him.

The next time you feel it, you’re ready for it. The cold doesn’t last long, the steel warming up with the heat of your body quickly, and with painstakingly slow movements, he starts to press the plug inside you. The stretch is so much more than Seonghwa’s one finger, and you hold your breath, trusting the feeling, knowing how good it felt a moment ago. 

“That’s it,” He murmurs softly, and the plug slides home, the bulb sinking in further suddenly and the flare catching it and holding it perfectly in place.

“Oh my god,” You manage. 

“Good?” He murmurs.

“Yeah,” You sigh pleasantly, letting your body adjust to the sensation of being stretched open in a way you had never felt before, the weight of the plug heavy and perfect inside you. 

“You’re taking everything so beautifully,” Seonghwa’s hand draws a comforting line up and down your spine, “are you ready for more?”

Your muscles tense and flutter and the pressure of the plug doubles the sensation, “Yes, please,”

You hear him reach for the next thing, and the weight of the bed changes when he settles behind you between your open legs. You’ve never been so exposed, so out of control and pliant in the hands of a lover. He watches your hips adjust, the arch is your back deepening as you relax into position. 

You hear a click, and then a low, steady vibrating. Air catches in your throat, your body trembling in anticipation. 

“Shh, shh,” Seonghwa’s hand caresses your hip, “I’ll give you what you need, my baby,”

“Mm,” You whine, a tight soft sound, “Seonghwa, please,”

You’re soaked, dripping, your cunt pulsing with need.

“Stay quiet for me,” He says, voice husky and low, “if you’re too loud, I’ll have to stop.” 

Your hands jerk, caught tightly by the lead and you push your hips back a little, every nerve ending awake and alive. 

“Good, that’s good,” He presses a single finger inside you, the feeling sudden. He slips it out again, just gathering more of your arousal to pass more slick wetness over your aching clit. 

You muffle a gasping moan, and he squeezes your cheek in response. 

The sound of the vibrator gets closer, and with a swift shift of his hands his finger is replaced with the firm silicone toy, the steady pulsing vibration sending a shuddering spike of pleasure through your body. 

“Oh fuck, oh god,” You bite down, hiding your face in the sheets below.

“Right there?” He rolls his hand to swivel the smooth body of the toy over your clit and you whine, your hands jerking against your binds again. 

The pleasure is sudden and consuming, hot waves radiating up your body and you want desperately to move but you can’t. All you can do is rock your hips and press yourself more firmly down onto the toy, chasing the vibration at the exact spot you need. 

“Hush,” Seonghwa kisses your hip to quiet you when a harsh whine bubbles from your lips, “do you want to wake the whole house?” 

You hide your face in the crook of your elbow, holding on to the silks between your hands for dear life. 

“You want someone to see what I’m doing to you?” His voice is low and husky, and suddenly you know exactly what he’s doing. 

“Hwa, please,” Your body shudders in his hands. 

“Do you?” His hand presses the toy harder to your clit and you bite down on the soft flesh of your arm, “You want someone to watch me ruin your pretty little body?” 

Your cheeks flare with blush, skin slick with sweat, your thighs shaking and you curl in on yourself, not sure if you want the toy on you harder or gone completely. His words are sending you spiraling, leaning so far into a fantasy you didn’t even know you had, and you choke out a moan. When you shift again, your body jerking on its own, Seonghwa tuts softly at you, locking a hand down on your calf and pushing your leg back open. 

“Be good,” He says, “you want to come don’t you?” 

“Please,” You beg, “I-I’m, Hwa,”

“That’s it,” He adjusts behind you and you feel his knee pressing against your opposite leg, effectively widening your stance and you collapse further onto your arms. 

You’re barely balancing, the position uncomfortable and intense, but you’re right on the edge, so close you can feel your muscles start to lock up. 

“Come,” He says, voice tight, “come, baby,” 

“I’m close,” You whine. 

“Let go,” 

All you can do is beg, dizzy and confused, so close your only focus is hitting your release. 

Seonghwa’s hand slides up the back of your thigh, curling over the swell of your ass to squeeze your skin while his other hand starts to rotate, dragging the vibrating toy back and forth over your clit in smooth circles. You babble out a begging cry, and he murmurs something behind you that you can’t quite hear. Suddenly you feel his hand move, and he presses the jeweled flare of the plug down, pushing it deeper and the combined sensation of that stretch with the vibrator pressed against your clit sends you over. 

You come hard, collapsing down again and muffling your moan into the mattress. He falls forward too, his body curling over yours, a heavy weight over you. The toy lifts off, but only briefly, just enough time for Seonghwa to wind his hand around your waist and press it down between your legs again. 

“Ah, fuck,” Your hands jerk, pulling back harshly on the restraints, “I c-can’t, fuck,” 

You’re feeling sharp, overstimulated and exhausted, your orgasm blending from a pleasurable peak into the cresting of another in a way that you are hardly prepared for. 

“Color,” He pants against your back, “jagi, color, now,” 

It’s too much, it is, but if he stops now you think you might scream. 

“Green!” You sob, your hips jerking again and grinding yourself down onto his hand and the vibrator. 

He curses softly, his teeth scraping along your shoulder, “There you go,” he murmurs, “god, look at you,” 

“Hwa, please, I’m coming, I,” You’re a mess, struggling to catch your breath under the weight of him and the sudden clap of another orgasm overtaking you, your brain whiting out entirely. 

His hand closes over your mouth suddenly, cutting off the noises bubbling up from inside you, “Shh, I’m sorry, baby, you have to be quiet, I’m sorry,” 

Tears gather in your eyes as you moan against his hand, the sound more of a sob at this point, every part of you shaking and trembling beneath him. In seconds though, the vibration turns from pleasurable to harsh, and you arch your hips back and away from his hand, muffled words against his palm as you shake your head. 

He pulls it away from you instantly, clicking it off and letting it fall to the side, and his hand comes off your mouth a moment later, “I’ve got you,” he soothes, “I’m here,” 

Your breath is tight, your mind still connecting back together, but the first thing you register is the ache in your arms. “Seonghwa,” You turn your cheek against the mattress and let your head drop, “b-baby can you let me down?” 

“I have you,” He assures you, and within a moment your wrists fall to the mattress too, still wrapped together but no longer tied to the headboard, “better? Should I take off the rest?” 

You shake your head, still a bit dizzy from your orgasm but you know the night’s not over, “No, just give me a sec,” 

He tucks you against his chest, spooning you close and softly caressing your skin with his hand, “Just rest,” 

“Hold me?” You murmur, “Please?” 

His arms are already around you, but he tucks you closer still, pressing kisses along your shoulders, “I’m right here, darling, you were so beautiful for me, so beautiful,” 

You snuggle into his arm and he tucks his knees up behind yours. You can feel him hard against your backside, but he doesn’t make any move to keep things going just yet, singularly focused on making sure you feel grounded again and back in your own body. 

When he feels your breathing even out he kisses your temple, “You okay?” 

“Mhm,” You sigh, “except I think I might melt into a puddle,” 

He chuckles, his tense muscles relaxing, “I got you that good, jagi?” 

You huff a small laugh, “Couldn’t you tell?” 

“Yes, but It’s never a bad thing to hear,” He kisses you again. 

You smile against his skin and sigh, “I can’t feel my legs, so if that’s any indication,” 

“Mm,” He nuzzles you, pulling you closer, his nestled tightly against you, “but you can feel what you do to me, can’t you?” 

You open your mouth to answer, but his hand splays out wide over your abdomen and he rolls his hips a little just to give himself a bit of friction and you sigh, “God, yes,” 

“I want you,” He nips at your skin again. 

“H-how?” You swallow, goosebumps erupting over your skin again and you shiver. 

His fingertips trace along your cheek, before brushing over your lip, two fingers slipping into your mouth and pressing softly on your tongue, “Can I have your mouth, darling?” 

Your brain is frozen for a moment, still caught between all of the sensations, but you finally close your lips around his fingers and suck, sweeping your tongue over them and tasting your own arousal. You hum softly, nodding, and he rocks his hips unconsciously against you again. 

“Hwa,” You murmur, letting his hand fall away, “let me taste you,” 

“Fuck,” He groans, “hold on,” 

He rolls away, leaving you alone in the center of the bed, but you stay calm and listen. You can hear him dropping what’s left of his clothes to the floor, the creak of the bed as he comes back over to you, this time settling himself in front of you on his knees. 

You reach out towards him with your bound hands, finding the warm skin of his thigh, “Show me where you are,” 

“Right here, baby,” He eases you into position with his hands under your arms, and you follow his lead, until you’re perched on your knees and ready. He shifts above you and then slips his hand between yours, “You want to keep the blindfold?” 

“I’m good,” You nod, assuring him, and with his hands on you, you feel safe despite the lack of one sense. 

“If you need to stop, squeeze my hand twice, okay?” He mimes the action for you, squeezing one of your hands twice in two quick pulses. 

“Okay,” You murmur, shivering again at the feeling of his hand brushing along your cheek. 

“Such pretty lips,” He sighs, hooking his thumb on your bottom teeth and dragging your mouth open. 

The soft noise you make is shaky and desperate. 

“Gentle, baby,” He murmurs, and the velvet head of his cock brushes along your lip. 

You inhale sharply and then open your mouth wider, your tongue wet and ready to accept him. 

“There,” He cups your head with his free hand, holding you steady as he angles forward with his hips and presses his aching cock between your lips, “fuck, you feel good,” 

You hum a sound of acknowledgement, sinking your head forward to take more of him and he groans. You were getting used to this, knowing when and how to relax your throat, when to suck, when to run the firm line of your tongue up the underside of his shaft. Seonghwa favors teasing before he takes your throat for his own, so you draw back until nothing but his cockhead rests on your tongue. 

“Tease,” He sighs. 

“And you love it,” You reply, slowly rolling your tongue over the head, tasting the salty beads of precum and using the added slick lubrication to heighten the sensations for him. 

He groans above you, hand locked to the back of your head but still holding soft. You have him needy already, but you imagine he’s been hard the whole time, aching for a bit of relief but so focused on you. With a sigh you let his cock fall from your mouth and you shift back a bit. 

He takes in a sharp breath and you smile, “You need to come so badly,” 

“Mm,” He manages, and you can practically picture his tight expression. 

“And you want it here?” You drag your tongue along the underside of his hot length and it twitches against your tongue. 

“Yes,” 

You adjust your hands, making sure his is tucked perfectly between, a ready lifeline if you need to use it. You lean back just a bit and angle your face up, you can’t see him, but you know he’s watching you. You wet your lips, and steady yourself, “Baby,” you nod, “fuck my throat,” 

You hear him take in a sharp inhale, his fingers twitching in your hair. 

“I know you need it,” You wet your lips again, getting yourself ready for him, “so take it,” 

“God,” He groans. 

You open your mouth wide, ready and willing to take what he has to give. 

“Fuck it,” He curses softly, and he sinks his cock back into your mouth, still a little slowly to let you get used to it, cognizant of your blindfold, but at the first soft moan you make with your nose pressed against his pubic bone he loses all sense. 

“My good girl,” He groans, pressing his hips forward until you’ve taken all of him, the head of his cock tickling the back of your throat, “letting me use her pretty mouth,” 

You love him like this, fully free and making a mess of you. You relax your jaw, letting your head slip into a more comfortable position for his full length to drive back and forth across your tongue and down your throat, and you hold his hand tighter, just to stay steady. 

He grips you back, a warm, silent acknowledgement, and then he thrusts hard. 

You whine and stutter, but keep yourself centered, breathing low and slow in and out through your nose. 

“Ah,” He hisses as he sets his pace, rocking his hips back and forth, every movement dragging him over your tongue, “god, darling,” 

You whine softly at the pet name that makes your head spin, but stay focused. 

“No one’s ever taken me like you,” He croons, “this is our pretty mouth isn’t it?” 

You press your eyes shut harder, head spinning at his words and you moan out a sound that can only be taken as a desperate yes. 

“Fuck,” He sighs, holding you harder and thrusting harder, “you love it don’t you?” 

You whine again, this time pressing up with your tongue to give him a little pressure. 

“If you do that again, I’ll come,” He shudders, “fuck, y/n,” 

With a soft, pleased sound, you do it again. With your tongue pressed up and your lips sealed shut around him, the tight pressure around his cock builds and he falters for just a moment before groaning and working himself faster. He’s close, his nails against your scalp, the flat plane of his abdomen bumping your nose with every forward surge of his hips. The sound is lewd, wet and garbled, and you fight back the urge to cough. He only needs to use you a little longer. 

“Fuck,” He curses, weaker this time, and you hollow out your cheeks. He thrusts in hard, holding your head in place as he spills his hot release down your throat, his hand shaky in your hair and a tight moan on his lips. You stay steady, holding your breathing as even as you can with his thick length this far down your throat.

When his fingers finally relax in your hair, you’re shaking, and he slides his cock out of your mouth slowly as he leans away. You swallow fast, your mouth salty and hot, and you cough sharply to clear the tightness in your throat. 

He’s breathing heavily in front of you, recovering from the intensity of his orgasm, but when you squeeze his hand twice in a silent plea, he immediately responds. 

“Alright,” he soothes, his fingers deftly loosening the tie of your blindfold, “almost there,” 

The low light of the bedroom is thankfully not too harsh, but it still takes you a moment for your vision to clear and things to come back into focus. Seonghwa is quietly working on freeing your bound wrists, and within a moment or two the silks fall away and your hands fall slack to either side of your knees. 

“Hi, baby,” He cups your cheek, moving into your field of vision and smiling gently, “you with me?”

You nod, and with shaky limbs you shift to sit normally. Seonghwa’s eyes flick over you, immediately clocking the obvious aches from your facial expression and he reaches for you, “I’ve got you,” he murmurs, massaging your arms and bringing some feeling back to them. 

“I’m good,” You assure him, but the feeling of his hands is too good and you stop politely protesting. 

“Let’s lay down,” He coaxes you forward to settle into the sheets alongside him, “there we go, how’s that?”

“Nice,” You sigh, resting your cheek on his bare chest. 

“Here,” He smooths the hair back from your face and tugs the comforter up to tuck you in, “let me warm you up,” 

You could die happy cocooned with him under the blankets, bare limbs tangled together. After a few moments of recovery he shimmies down to meet you eye to eye, “Hi, baby,” 

“Hey,” You sigh, a little sleepy, your body still feeling weightless and sated. 

“You were so amazing,” He cups your cheek, “so amazing,” 

“So were you,” You murmur, your throat still feeling a little raw. 

He snakes a hand between your bodies and draws your arms up, looking over your wrists, and though they’re a little pink from being wrapped up there’s no real bruises or damage and he smiles, “Does everything feel okay? I know I was rough,” 

“I’m perfect,” You manage. 

He softens, dipping forward to catch your lips in a warm, soothing kiss. 

“Hwa,” You nuzzle him. 

“Hmm?” He murmurs. 

“Would you,” You clear your throat again softly, “is there water?” 

“Of course,” He shakes his head, “I’m sorry, let me,” 

“It’s okay,” You smile, watching as he rolls out of bed and searches for his boxers. You could tease him, point out how suddenly fixated and nervous he is about getting aftercare right, but he’s actually being too perfect. You don’t want to poke fun now, not after the deep intimacy of the night and his very real desire to make sure you feel comfortable now. 

“Be right back,” He kisses you fast, and ever so quietly slips through your bedroom door. 

While he’s gone you shake out your limbs, taking stock of your body and all the sensations. You’re achy in places, but it’s a good ache, like a hard workout and the endorphin high after. You’re exhausted though, the adrenaline crash Seonghwa talked about running obvious through your body as you blink to clear your head. It takes a moment to figure out the plug, but you remove it slowly, adjusting to the feeling of it no longer being inside you with a sigh. You gather up the little pile of toys in the bag again, resolving to wash up in the bathroom as soon as your body stops trembling. You dress quickly, locating your sweatshirt and underwear by his discarded clothes, and then collapse back onto the bed to wait for him. 

When he returns, he’s got a cool glass of a water and a mug of tea, “Ah good, you’re still up,” 

“Mhm,” You reach for him, “oh, thank you,” 

“I thought it might be nice,” He smiles, passing you the water and setting the hot mug on your nightstand. 

The water is soothing, exactly what you need and you finish the glass off with ease, Seonghwa grinning. “What?” You laugh, wiping the back of your mouth and passing him back the glass. 

“Nothing, you’re beautiful,” He squeezes your knee. 

“I’m sure I look a mess after that,” You take the tea next and savor the warmth seeping into your fingers. 

“If you do, then I like it,” He sighs pleasantly. 

“Cute,” 

It’s still for a moment while you nurse your tea, chamomile and honey that soothes every facet of your abused throat. Your mind is so quiet, body fully sated and any anxieties from earlier forgotten for at least tonight. After a few moments he makes a noise of recognition and says, “You cleaned up?” 

“Not really,” You murmur, “I just put everything back in the bag, I need to get up and get washed up when my legs start working.” 

He grins, “You want some company?” 

“Yeah?” You sip your tea. 

“I’ll make sure your legs don’t stop working again in the shower,” He nudges your thigh. 

“Okay,” You nod, still feeling spacey. 

“Come on,” He murmurs, “let’s get a nice, hot shower and then go to sleep,” 

A strike of neediness flutters in your chest and you look up, “Will you stay?” 

His face softens, “Of course I will, I’m not going anywhere,” 

The sudden knot in your belly relaxes. 

“I’m staying all night,” He murmurs, “don’t worry about a thing,” 

He guides you up and out of bed, quietly ferrying you through the hall to the bathroom, the little black bag of toys under his arm. He cleans everything up while you relax in the warm water, letting your muscles unwind after the long day. When he finally joins you, he gathers you up against his chest and you trade lazy, easy kisses until the water runs tepid and there’s no use fighting sleep anymore. You fall asleep with him wrapped around you once more, his thumb rubbing smooth circles into the pulsepoint of your wrist. 

In the morning, bundled up in a cozy robe in the kitchen, strong arms wrap around you and tuck you close. You almost mistake him for Seonghwa, assuming he would be the only one up at this early hour, but the feeling of this lover’s hands is different, and so is the warm press of his long body behind you.

“Morning,” you murmur, sweeping your hand along his forearm, “what’s all this?” 

Yunho kisses your hair, sighing into you, “I’m here to apologize for being an ass,”

“Yeah?” 

“I’m sorry for being distant,” He finds your hand and laces your fingers together, “San told me you were worried,” 

“I just want to know that you and me are okay,” You bring your hands up, pressing a kiss to his knuckles, “but you don’t have to apologize for needing space,” 

“We’re more than okay,” He tightens his hold on you, kissing your hair again but this time leaving his lips there, “I’m sorry I made you worry,” 

“It’s alright,” You assure him. 

He nods against your head, exhaling low against your scalp, “I missed you,” 

You melt into his hold, nodding softly, “Me too,” 

You hold each other a little while longer, but the sound of the coffee machine finishing brings you both out of your quiet thoughts and he lets you go so you can finish your task. He clears his throat softly and leans against the counter, “You’re up early,” 

“So are you,” 

“I was tossing and turning,” He admits. 

“Over this?” You squeeze his hand. 

“A little,” His eyes flick down, “and schedules. I’m just stressed about next week,” 

Preparation for their holiday music show appearances is fast approaching, and next week would mark the heaviest schedules drilling their adjusted choreography to get the appearances right. You pour him a cup of coffee and pass it over, “It’s going to go well, and I’ll help however I can,” 

“I know,” He smiles, accepting the caffeinated peace offering, “thank you,” 

“My week will be lighter,” You tell him, “I’ll be on morning coffee duty and late night snack patrol, don’t worry,” 

He grins and watches as you pull two more cups from the cabinet, fixing both you and a sleeping Seonghwa your morning cups of coffee too. 

“Ah,” He nods at the second cup, “I didn’t realize I was keeping you,” 

“You’re not,” You shake your head, “Hwa’s still asleep,” 

It’s a little strange how easy it is now to readily share yourself with all of them, no lingering stress or anxiety about them becoming jealous or feeling awkward about each other. Yunho nods and follows you back out into the main room, “Can we talk more later?” 

“Of course,” You’d reach out for him if you weren’t holding two very hot mugs in your hands. 

“Here,” His voice drops to a whisper and he walks you to your bedroom door, sliding it open for you, “come find me tonight,” 

“Thanks,” You murmur, and he dips forwards to press a soft, chaste kiss to your lips. 

“Thanks for the coffee,” He murmurs, “and everything else,” 

You nod, stepping into your dark bedroom, and Yunho smiles as he shuts the door behind you. You wait a moment, listening as he pads away back to his bedroom. You’re not surprised he found the quietest moment of the day to talk to you, a tiny moment alone away from the prying eyes of anyone else to be sure that nothing was changed between the two of you. If San talked to him last night, you hope he talked to San, working out whatever nervous tension had bubbled up after your night all together. If next week is going to be tight and stressful, they all need to be in good spirits and firing on all cylinders, and you’ll do anything to help make sure that happens. 

The sound of sheets shifting behind you draws your attention back, and you make your way back to bed and to Seonghwa’s arms. You stretch into your morning slowly together, murmured thoughts about last night, small confessions about what more you want from him and all the ways he wants to give. He dotes on you all morning, his attention barely leaving you until he’s pulled out of the dorms for the start of their day. 

Safe and cared for, that’s what he had said. 

Safe and something unspoken, held just in the memory of last night. 

You do your best not to wonder what he might have said. 

quick end note: because I know I'm going to get some messages, the tense feelings between wooyoung and san should not be read as straight up woosan. that is not the direction i'm going, and this work is true ot8 x reader, we're not going to get break off couples or something like that. however, in a relationship like this i think it's only natural that things grow closer between everyone, not just each of the eight with reader. i think wooyoung and san are a natural place for that to happen since they're already so openly touchy and warm with each other.that being said, i think a little tension between people / guys who have been friends for 5+ years would be natural if you had a group sex experience, so in my mind that's where that comes in. i hope that came across in the chapter, and i appreciate you all for reading!

[skzdust]

Both Pretty

THIS IS SMUT. MINORS DNI.

First Ateez fic (that I've posted haha)!!!! Shout out to @mirohs-aurora-society discord for this one. @bunnliix and @potatomountain this is for you 🫶

Summary: You and your boyfriend Hongjoong decide to go for a picnic at a secluded park... and you like to make him beg.

Pairing: sub!Hongjoong x afab reader

Includes: "baby", sub!Hongjoong, picnic date, hand job, riding, begging, "pretty", skirt Hongjoong, "slut" in a playful degradation way, unprotected vaginal sex (please use condoms and pee after sex!!)

Word count: 1.4k

Taglist (Comment on a post/send an ask if you'd like to be added): @weirdowithaphone, @caught-in-the-afterglow, @palindrome969, @skzstan12345, @katsukis1wife,@hyunjinsjeans, @somethingkindazainy, @silverstarburst

Network: @mirohs-aurora-society

Reblogs, likes, comments all appreciated!!!

Masterlist

-----

You gently place your hand on Hongjoong’s thigh, your thumb rubbing his leg through the fabric of his skirt. He looks at you, his eyes wide and his lips parted. 

“Yeah, baby?” You gently squeeze, and he gives you a long blink before smiling.

“Nothing.”

“Mhm.” You hum, moving your hand to adjust your hair. “Yeah. Nothing.”

He throws his head back with far more drama than is really necessary, looking up at the sky through the trees with a huge grin. “I just like when you touch me, is that so wrong?”

You feign shock. “Do you? I had no idea! It’s not like you beg for it on the regular or anything.”

“Beg? Doesn’t sound like something I’d do.” He looks at you, and you know he’s egging you on, trying to get you to get him to beg. 

Luckily for Hongjoong, him begging is something you both deeply enjoy. 

“Yeah, sure, what was it you were saying last night? ‘Fuck me deeper, please, please, please’?” You’re still being nice, but he flushes a pretty red, looking down. 

“I don’t— ah—” He lets out a breathy sigh as you find his thigh again, moving further in and further up this time to stroke where his leg meets his hip with your fingertips.

“What was that? Didn’t quite catch you there.”

“I don’t remember that.” He composes himself for a second, tilting his head with a big, bratty smile, before you gently run your fingers over his cock through the skirt. That certainly sparks a reaction, and his moan is strangled as he tries to keep himself quiet. 

“I like hearing you, baby. Like it when you moan… and when you beg.” You whisper.

“We’re in a park.” He whines.

“Yeah, a park in the middle of nowhere. A park we came to so we could have a private romantic picnic, then you wore that pretty skirt and that slutty sheer top, and now I really have no choice but to make you beg.”

“You like the outfit?” He sounds pleased, his voice still high.

“I do like the outfit.” You confirm, squeezing his thigh hard. “In fact, I want you to keep it on.”

“Hm?” He tilts his head again.

“I want you to keep it on.” You repeat. “I want you to lay down and pull that skirt up so I can touch you properly.”

He inhales sharply, slowly lifting the skirt up to give you a view of his half-hard cock.

He’s not wearing anything else.

“So pretty, baby.” You murmur, your fingers moving up his leg as his head rests on one of his folded arms. “No underwear… you were all ready for this, weren’t you?”

Hongjoong nods eagerly, his eyes wide. “Yeah.”

“So good for me.” You tease the insides of his thighs with light fingers. “You know what I want from you, don’t you?”

He whimpers, wriggling under your touch. You continue. “C’mon, beg for me, and I’ll give you what you want.”

“Promise?” He sounds so needy it almost makes you dizzy with arousal. You’re confident and cool on the outside, but his sounds and the expressions he’s making make your stomach leap with anticipation.

Your touch grows a little more insistent as you try to drive him crazy. “Promise.”

It takes a few more moments before he sighs. “Please.”

You smile. “Please what?”

“Touch me.” He exhales through his mouth. “Please, please touch me.”

“I’m already touching you.”

“You know what I mean.” He whines. “Don’t make me say it.”

“You should know by now that I’m going to make you say it.” You laugh softly. 

He huffs. “Fine. My cock.”

“What about your cock?” You wrap your hand around it, and where he’d been squirming before, he was suddenly still, the sound of his breath heavy in the air. 

“Please move your hand.”

“Oh, like this?” You let go, moving back to his thigh.

“No, no, please, touch me again, touch my cock, move your hand, um—” he swallows. “Up and down, stroke me, please.”

You smile, bringing your hand back to his length and gently holding it again.

“Please.” He whispers.

“Okay, baby, since you’re begging so pretty for me.”

You give him long strokes, moving your hand up and down at a leisurely pace. His hips push up into your hand, and you let it slide. Although you do love punishing him, that’s for later. Right now you wanna make him squirm, make him beg, make him feel good.

And you can’t deny that it’s making you wet, too. His high moans as you get him off are addictive; the way his gaze is a little distant already, a little blissed out. 

You pull your hand away, and he makes a questioning little noise, his eyebrows knitting together. “Huh?”

You start to get your jeans off. “I know that was, like, the shortest hand job in history, but instead, I’m gonna ride you so good you’ll be seeing stars. Does that sound good?”

His eyes widen. “Yes, yes, please do that.”

You give a small, breathy laugh, straddling him and lining yourself up with his cock. 

You both moan as you sink down onto him. You haven’t been stretched, and it hurts, but you don’t even care, you’re so full of him.

“Please, please, use me, please.” He groans, his hands settling on your waist but not holding you there, just resting.

Fuck.

He’s begging you to use him.

And how can you deny him when he’s been so good for you?

You yank his slutty sheer top down on his arms, exposing his shoulders and bracing your hands on them. “’M gonna use you, baby, okay?”

He nods, looking at you with need in his eyes, his breath quick. “Please.”

You lean down and kiss him, the motion making both of you moan into each others mouths. You pull back, adjusting your hands, and lean over him, looking into his eyes as you begin to move your hips up and down on his cock. 

Hongjoong is a whimpering mess in a matter of minutes, babbling and panting and begging. “Please, please, please keep going, please let me cum, keep using me, please.” He’s exactly the way you like him: needy, pliant, perfect.

Not that you’re not in love with him the rest of the time too, of course. But this version Hongjoong is something special, something only you get to see.

“I know, baby, I know, it’s so good, you’re so good, so fucking good.” Your whispering is broken by the way his cock feels inside you, filling you so deep, pushing the air from your lungs with every motion up and down. 

You realize he’s still in his outfit: his slutty sheer top, which had started out mostly unbuttoned anyway, is pushed most of the way down his arms, and his pretty skirt is bunched up around his waist. His arm has slipped out from under his head, and his pink hair is messy. His eyes are almost glassy, blissed out, and his tongue darts out to lick his lips as he looks at you. He’s stopped being so vocal, but if you’ve fucked all the words out of him, you’re okay with that, too.

You could look at him all day. He’s beautiful.

“Whatcha smiling for?” He mumbles. 

You hadn’t even realized you’d been smiling. “You’re just pretty, baby.”

He smiles, too, closing his eyes. “Pretty?”

“So pretty.”

You keep going, keep riding him, keep using him. You can feel yourself getting close, your hips and your motions growing more and more erratic. You want to cum, you want him to cum, you want to reach that high—

You’d promised Hongjoong he’d be seeing stars, but you are too as you reach your climax, pushing yourself as far down on him as you can. He gives a particularly long moan, and you can feel him cum, too, his release warm inside you.

You fall onto his chest, still wrapped around him, and throw your arms around his neck. Both of you are sweaty, but you don’t really care.

You kiss him. His hands come up to your hair, gently running through it.

“You’re pretty.” He mumbles.

“I already told you that’s you.”

He smiles. “Then we’re both pretty.”

“Both pretty.” You agree. 

[etrnlsanshine]

a master post of (almost) all the fics I've read and enjoyed on here for you all to check out. go show some love to the creators! ✨ are all-time favorites. will be updated for ongoing fics and whenever I find new ones.

most of this is 18+ so please be aware of that. a note for the authors of these fics; if you're reading this, if possible, please lmk if you've changed your @, otherwise it'll be impossible to find these fics again. thanks so much!! <3

also, click here for smau fic recs! i had to split this up cause the links were getting too much, so click here for the solo member fic recs!

OT8/Multiple Members

✨Into The Aurora by @honeyhotteoks series, completed, 35 chapters, idol!OT8 x reader, 18+

✨Hotel California by @mint-yooxgi series, completed, 27 chapters, OT8 x reader, 18+

✨Mists of Celeste by @hongism series, ongoing, chapter 49/?, ? x reader, 18+

✨not all that glitters is gold by @the7thcrow series, ongoing, chapter 10/?, hwa x san x woo x reader

✨Pirate King by @chaseatinydream series, completed, hongjoong x reader, wooyoung x reader

room for three by @honeyhotteoks series, completed, chapter 5/5, seonghwa x yunho x reader, 18+

✨The Answer on AO3 and also on tumblr by @berryunho series, ongoing, chapter 29/?, mingi x reader, hongjoong x reader, san x reader, seonghwa x reader

bloodline on AO3 series, ongoing, chapter 18/?, ? x reader

just between friends by @honeyhotteoks oneshot, yunho x reader x mingi, 15.8k words, 18+

pick a card by @destiny-fics series, completed, 10 chapters, OT8 x reader, 18+

✨like the moon by @sunmoonjune series, ongoing, chapter 17/?, OT8 x reader

dewdrops at dawn by @sunmoonjune oneshot, OT8 x reader, 17.2k words

panini by @smileysuh oneshot, yunho x reader x mingi, 11.8k words, 18+

8th Grade by @smileysuh oneshot, yunho x reader x mingi, 8.9k words, 18+

bingo by @milfgyuu oneshot, wooyoung x reader x yunho, 18+

✨starring role by @nonclassyparty series, completed, chapter 11/11, san x reader, mingi x reader, 18+

✨subtle variations of heartbreak by @nonclassyparty miniseries, completed, 9 chapters

✨in love and lore by @shadowynn series, ongoing, chapter 11/?, OT8 x reader

✨to tempt fate by @mint-yooxgi series, ongoing, chapter 8/?, OT8 x reader

✨paradise gardens by @mint-yooxgi series, ongoing, chapter 13/?, OT8 x reader, 18+

✨morning mist by @mint-yooxgi series, ongoing, chapter 14/?, OT8 x reader

✨the paradigm complex by @shadowynn series, ongoing, chapter 4/?, OT8 x reader

✨this night together by @honeyhotteoks series, ongoing, chapter 9/?, yunho x reader x mingi, a/b/o, 18+

one day at a time by @sorryimananti-romantic oneshot, 18.5k words, seonghwa x reader, yunho x reader

devil’s landing by @efelixer series, ongoing, chapter 12/?, ? x reader

oh my *** by @ohmyamor oneshot, ot8 x reade, 10.2k words

✨unconventional first encounters with ateez by @bluehwale headcanon (i love this)

compromise by @cyberpxnk oneshot, 11k words, yunho x reader x seonghwa, 18+

[hoshiseon-digiarc]

✱ atz, svt, txt, & skz fic recs ✱

MDNI 18+ (most if not all recs are smut)

fem / gen. neutral reader unless stated otherwise

★ – personal faves!

ATEEZ

☆ the drill — yunho x reader [m] @byuntrash101

★ the thing about pretty boys — seonghwa x reader [m] @wonusite

☆ first snow — wooyoung x reader [m] @cheollipop

☆ deep down (abo) — alpha!ot8 x reader [m] @seventhcallisto

★ the kraken — kracken!yunho x reader [m] @atzfilm

★ wonderwall — faeire!ot8 x reader [m] @atzfilm

☆ mind over matter — mingi x reader [m] @mingisaddctn

☆ coming of age — incubus!san x reader [m] @byuntrash101

☆ never say never — vampire!ot8 x reader [m] @seonghwaddict

★ into the aurora — idol!ot8 x reader [m] @honeyhotteoks

★ this night together (abo) — alpha!yunho x alpha!mingi x reader [m] @honeyhotteoks

☆ treasure — yunho x wooyoung x san x reader [m] @honeyhotteoks

★ mists of celeste — ot8 space pirates!ateez x reader [m] @hongism

★ hotel california | book one — ot8 yandere!demonic entities!ateez x reader [m] @mint-yooxgi

★ paradise gardens | book two — ot8 yandere!demonic entities!ateez x reader [m] @mint-yooxgi

TXT

★ telepathy — mind reader!beomgyu x reader [m] @agustdiv1ne

☆ pose — yeonjun x reader [m] @agustdiv1ne

SEVENTEEN

☆ meet the parents — mingyu x reader [m] @sluttywoozi

☆ control me — gamer!wonwoo x reader [m] @duhnova

★ crawl — devil!jeonghan x reader [m] @himbocoups

★ a whisper from the forest — lumberjack!woozi x forest nymph!reader [m] @idyllic-ghost

☆ and the universe said, — idol!ot13 x reader [m] @thepixelelf

☆ greed — hoshi x reader [m] @cheolism

☆ after LIKE — mingyu x reader @sluttywoozi

STRAY KIDS

★ strange dreams — incubus!hyunjin x reader [m] @planetdream

MULTI

★ code of (mis)conduct — mingyu (svt) x san (atz) x reader [m] @sluttywoozi

[bethelighthalazia]

Breakfast in bed

Summary:  What could turn a stormy and thunderous morning into the best morning of the week? This would be the only explanation of Jongho's actions on this Sunday morning.

Genre: fluff

Pairing: dad!Jongho x fem!reader

Word Count:  804

Warnings: very cute?, Jongho being a sweetheart, some fluff and cute domestic stuff 

[note: this fic is only partially beta´d. its also part of a miniseries for dad!ateez]

HJ, SH, YH, YS, S, MG, WY, JH

networks: @mirohs-aurora-society

© by bethelighthalazia. Do not repost, copy or translate. Unless stated otherwise, those works are mine and born from my own ideas. I don't have any claim on the mentioned real existing Idols whatsoever.

Sunday. A day in the week, on which you would get out of bed, prepare breakfast for your husband and daughter and then try to make them go for a walk through the park. Today however, you´re woken by a rumbling thunder. 

Groaning, you turn around under your blanket to wrap your arms around your husband, but only grasp nothing. Where was he? Had your daughter yelled for him because she was scared? Turning again, you looked at the alarm clock on your nightstand; 10:30 am already. What happened and where was Jongho?

You heard the main door close and a squeaked giggle from your daughter, have they been outside in this weather? “Shh, we don´t want to wake eomma, she went to bed late last night.” Jongho said quietly, you could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke. Slowly, you got up and wrapped yourself in your bathrobe, your footsteps almost not to be heard as you dragged yourself to the living area of the apartment. 

Neither of them noticed you watching, Jongho giggling quietly as he helped Byeol take off her muddy rubber boots and her little raincoat. Your three years old daughter truly comes after her dad, fearless and the cute nose scrunch when she laughs included. Before your daughter could run off, Jongho already picked her up, carrying her over to the bathroom, the grocery bags standing in the hallway. You quietly went and unpacked the groceries, listening to your husband and your daughter with a smile. Despite Jongho being an Idol, the three of you were living in a small apartment and it was wonderful, you wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

Jongho's voice, accompanied by the giggles of your daughter echo through the apartment and it makes your heart swell. “We only need one little towel for you, Byeol- no, no that's eomma’s we can't-” Your husband tries to negotiate with the still giggling three years old, he'll bend to all her wishes and whining in less than a second, you just knew it. “Okay, okay fine…you can have eomma's towel- not this? But- Byeol, wait!” You weren't able to hold back your laughter when he, once again, gave in to the wishes of his daughter, which the girl heard and promptly came running. The view of her, wrapped into his too big bathrobe and dragging your towel after her, just drew more laughter and a soft smile from you.

When Jongho finally caught up, he saw you standing there, the little girl on your hip, the towel in your other hand. He slowly approached you to press a soft kiss on your lips, but a tiny hand between your faces stopped him, causing his eyes to go wide. “Why, Byeol?” He asked the giggling girl, who just pouted. “Appa no kissy! My eomma, my appa. Only me kissy!” The pout still on her lips, Byeol leaned towards Jongho, both her hands on each side of your husband's face as she gave his face a squeeze. The laugh from you caused him to stare at you, his expression priceless. “Yah, don't laugh at me, y/n. I just want a kiss from you, jagiya!” He whined and you then leaned in to kiss him, which then caused Byeol to squeak and try to separate the two of you. 

“Eomaaa!” Byeol then whined and you gave her a surprised look, head tilted. “You nap! Appa me make food!” She explained and you couldn't hold back another little chuckle, before handing her back to your husband. “Okay fine, i´ll leave you two and go back to bed then. Make sure she doesn´t hurt herself, Jongho.” “Don't worry, love. Go and rest a little more.” He hums and when his lips pressed a last kiss to your forehead, you left for the bedroom again.

The sounds of kitchen utensils clattering and your husband and the little ball of joy that is your daughter let you doze off, making you sleep a dreamless sleep until you are woken by two kisses. There they were, Jongho wearing an apron and looking rather disheveled and exhausted and next to him was Byeol. They had brought a tray with breakfast, some pancakes, some savory bits and homemade orange juice. “Birthday eomma! Appa and Byeol made food!” Your daughter squeaked, pushing a picture into your hands as she climbed up onto the bed to cuddle with you. Jongho couldn't hold back a chuckle, it wasn't your birthday, and he did try to explain it to Byeol, yet, he also didn't want to lessen her joy of giving you gifts. And after all, he got to spend a wonderful morning baking and cooking with her for you. So, he made both of his most beloved girls happy, and that's what counts, right?

taglist: @mingis-mizu, @tinyelfperson, @hotteokkay, @minkilicious, @bunnliix,

@gong-fourz, @yeosangiess, @dinossaurz, @scuzmunkie, @h3arteyes4mingi

(if you want to be added to a taglist, follow the taglist-link in my pinned post)

[sugarnspice630]

≡ :☆ﾟFIC RECS ｡ﾟ.☽

A collection of some of my favorite fan fictions I have read on here

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ･. ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆───

☆ ATEEZ ☆

⋆ sharing is caring? by @byuntrash101 (Hongjoong x fem!reader x Mingi)

⋆ Horny Hours by @ia-ateezscupid (Hongjoong x fem!reader)

⋆ Into the Aurora by @honeyhotteoks (Ateez x fem!reader)

⋆ Game Time by @anyamaris (Seonghwa x fem!reader x San x Wooyoung

⋆ Hideaway by @minisugakoobies (Hongjoong x gn!afab!reader)

⋆ Horny thoughts about San as your boyfriend by @sanspuppet (San)

⋆ Sharing is Caring by @ja3hwa (HJ, SH, S x fem!reader)

⋆ Hongjoong request (from me) by @sanspuppet (Hongjoong x fem!reader)

⋆ So Unlike You by @written-in-flowers (Yunho x fem!reader/side pairing ot8 x fem!reader) ⋆ Crimson by @hwaslayer (San x stripper!reader)

⋆ Untitled by @tinyidle (photographer!HJ & WY x reader)

⋆ Crazy Form by @holybibly (Mingi x reader)

⋆ Ugh, As If by @ennysbookstore (Hongjoong x reader)

⋆ Fèconder by @yeosgoa (Hongjoong x witch!reader)

⋆ pretty sounds by @cptnhngjng (mean!joong x reader ft. San)

☽ _☽

© sugarnspice630

[lettersfromaphrodite]

masterlist

─  'CAUSE THAT'S WHAT YOUNG LOVE IS ALL ABOUT ♡  

smut : 🍑 ; fluff : 🍭 ; angst : 🌧️

ATEEZ

Hongjoong: [16.30] 🍭 // [9.20] 🍭

Seonghwa: [5.26] 🍑 // AO3 link

Yeosang: [00.30] 🌧️

Wooyoung: [22.22] 🍑

Seonghwa x Hongjoong: «Protect Me, My Aurora.» 🌧️🍑🍭🏴‍☠️ // AO3 link | [make me a villain]  🔮 // AO3 link  

Grease! ATEEZ Series 🕺

Yunho: [3.42] 🍑🍭 // AO3 link

Yeosang: [4.57] 🍑🕺

Wooyoung: [15.37] 🍑🕺

Elemental Series 🔥💧🍃🌪️

Hongjoong x Fem! Reader: «do you believe in fate?» 🔮🌧️🍑🍭 // AO3 link

Chan x Fem! Reader: «flames  to dust.» 🔮🌧️🍑🍭 // AO3 link  

STRAY KIDS

Chan: [17.49]🍑🍭🎮

Jisung: [15.44] 🍭 // AO3 link | Jisung: [17.15]🎀🍑🍭

Hyunjin: [3.17]🍭

Sea Shanties Collection 📚🧜‍♂️🏴‍☠️ // AO3 link

Chan: [9.54] 🧜‍♂️🌧️🍭

Minho: «it’s high tide, baby.» 🧜‍♂️🌧️🍑🍭

Wolves! Stray Kids Series 🐺🔮 // AO3 link

Chan: [11.11] 🍭🔮🐺 // [3.21]🍑🍭🔮🐺

Changbin: [23.15] 🌧️🍑🍭🔮 🐺

Jisung: [2.22]🌧️🍑🍭🔮🐺

Hyunjin: [14.23]🍑🍭🔮🐺

Seungmin: [4.55]🌧️🍑🍭🔮🐺

Minho: [1.32]🍑🍭🔮🐺 // [2.31]🍑🍭🔮🐺

Felix: [14.20]🌧️🍭🔮🐺

Jeongin: [20.18]🍭🔮🐺

Royals! Stray Kids Series 👑 // AO3 link

Chan: [16.40]🌧️🍑🍭👑

Changbin: [10.40]🌧️🍭👑

Jisung: [00.00]🍑🍭👑🧛‍♂️

Hyunjin: [8.45]🌧️🍑🍭👑

Seungmin: [20.55]🌧️🍑🍭👑

Minho: [15.54]🍭👑

Felix: [2.33]🍑🍭👑 // [3.32]🍑🍭👑

Jeongin: [17.59]🌧️🍭👑

Vampires! Stray Kids Series 🧛‍♂️ // AO3 link

Chan: [8.58]🌧️🍑🍭🧛‍♂️

Changbin: [17.25]🌧️🍑🍭🎀🧛‍♂️

Jisung: [00.00]🍑🍭👑🧛‍♂️

Hyunjin: [8.03]🍑🍭🧛‍♂️

Seungmin: [8.50]🌧️🍭🧛‍♂️

Minho: [14.56]🌧️🍑🍭🧛‍♂️

Felix: [9.00]🌧️🍭🧛‍♂️

Grease! Stray Kids Series 🕺 // AO3 link

Chan: [2.57]🍭🕺 // [14.57]🍑🍭🕺

Changbin: [19.45]🍑🍭🕺

Jisung: [10.50]🍑🍭🕺

Hyunjin: [20.30]🌧️🍑🍭🕺

Seungmin: [16.02]🍑🍭🕺

Minho: [00.15]🌧️🍑🍭🕺

Felix:  [23.02]🍑🍭🕺

Jeongin: [18.20]🍭🕺

SEVENTEEN

Wonwoo: [23.49]🍭🔮🐺 // AO3 link

Wonwoo x Mingyu: [I feel danger on your lips but it tastes good]🧛‍♂️🍑🍭 // AO3 link

NON KPOP RELATED FICS

Sylus (Love and DeepSpace): HEADCANONS: aftercare 🍭 // AO3 link

Childe x Lumine (Genshin Impact): [your love is holy] 🍭 // AO3 link

Astarion (Baldur's Gate 3): [make me feel like I am breathing (feel like I am human) ] 🍭 // AO3 link

Luca Kaneshiro (NIJISANJI EN): [il dolce far niente] 🍭 // AO3 link

Clavis Lelouch (Ikemen Prince): [devoted to you] 🍭 // AO3 link

Keith Howell (Ikemen Prince): [love me like you do] 🍑 // AO3 link

Mikey (Tokyo Revengers): [tornerai da me] 🍑🍭 // AO3 link

Giorno x Mista (JoJo’s Bizzarre Adventures): [4.17] 🍭  // AO3 link

all works © lettersfromaphrodite

Do not modify, repost, translate or plagiarize my stories.I only publish my works on tumblr & AO3.

↳ BACK TO NAVIGATION 💫

[rems-writing]

Punk Jongho headcanon

》 Pairing: punk!Jongho × sweetheart!reader

》 Genre/AU: angst/high school AU

》 Wordcount: 2,600 words

》 Rating: nc-17

Nets: @mirohs-aurora-society @othersideoutlawsnetwork @illusionnet

Ok so like I originally had a plot for this. However, it didn't sound good when I laid out the draft in my head so I scrapped it. Here's this instead. :3 btw, there is mention of Stray Kids in here but this is mainly an Ateez fic. This does not define the band in any shape or form. This is merely a made up story.

-> Choi Jongho is the youngest of Ateez, a group of misfits dedicated to making sure they live their lives outside of normal standards. 

-> punk!Jongho, who has been called many names (i.e. trash, weirdo, freak, etc.) by so many students, yet he brushes them off without a single glance. 

-> punk!Jongho, who gets ‘bullied’ by the preppy student body. What were their names? Scattered Orphans? No wait. They’re called Stray Kids. 

-> punk!Jongho, who’s usually the main target of Hyunjin, Jisung (Han), Yongbok (Felix), and Seungmin. 

-> punk!Jongho, who’s the most inked up out of everyone in Ateez yet he hides it underneath the number of layers he wears. 

-> punk!Jongho, who has two sleeves and a collarbone tat. He left his legs alone since he doesn’t feel like getting inked up all over his body. 

-> punk!Jongho, who always smokes outside the school building during lunch and usually gets away with it. If he was ever caught, he’d use his suave demeanor and charm to get  out of detention or community service. 

-> punk!Jongho, who’s always late to his classes. 

“What matters is that I showed up. I could’ve slept in more, but I decided to grace ya’ll with my face.”

-> punk!Jongho, who smirks upon hearing the snickers of his peers and the raucous laughter of his friends after making that snarky remark. 

-> punk!Jongho, who makes his way towards his designated seat, which was all the way in the back.

-> punk!Jongho, who always places his feet up on his desk and rolls his eyes at any goody two-shoes student who tries to tell him to take his feet off the table. 

“And what will you do? Suspend me?”

-> punk!Jongho, who grins in satisfaction upon seeing the student shrink in fear before turning to face the teacher so they can listen to the lecture.

-> punk!Jongho, who never smiles. Ever. 

-> punk!Jongho, who is the first to leave the class once it’s over, bumping into students unapologetically as he brushes past them. 

-> punk!Jongho, who was about to sneak outside so he could smoke when he bumped into you. 

-> punk!Jongho, who was about to roll his eyes and give you a piece of his mind when he heard you speak. 

“Oh my! I’m so sorry! I’m usually not this clumsy, but today seems like the day!”

-> punk!Jongho, who feels his heartbeat rapidly as you stand up fully and fix your hair so he could get a good look at your face. 

-> punk!Jongho, who usually never apologizes, but soon heard himself sincerely say sorry to you. 

-> “It’s ok. If anything, I’m the one that should be sorry. I wasn’t watching where I was going. I hope I didn’t hurt you.”

-> punk!Jongho, whose voice was softer than usual. He was afraid you’d find the gruffness and scratchiness of his usual tone off-putting. 

-> punk!Jongho, who listened to you forgive him before sticking out your hand. 

“I’m Han Y/N. Pleased to meet you!”

-> punk!Jongho, who almost reeled back in shock as he slowly raised his hand so he could shake yours. 

‘This angel is related to that dickhead? The fuck?’

-> punk!Jongho, who was slightly afraid that his impressive hand strength would hurt your delicate hands. He would hate to injure such a beautiful person like you. 

-> punk!Jongho, who felt a bit sad when you let go. He wanted to know what it was like to hold your hand for a long period of time. 

-> punk!Jongho, who was about to speak up when Jisung showed up. 

“There you are! Was he harassing you?”

-> punk!Jongho, who was about to roll his eyes when he heard you speak to Jisung in a different tone of voice. 

“You always assume the worst, you brat! I am literally 12 minutes older than you!”

-> punk!Jongho, who was impressed with the amount of spunk you had in you, yet he didn’t show it. You definitely weren’t the average ditzy girl he would often run into. 

-> punk!Jongho, who let out a small laugh when he saw you pinch Jisung’s ear and drag him down the hall so you could meet up with the rest of Stray Kids. 

-> punk!Jongho, who found himself talking about you to Seonghwa and Hongjoong, the mom and dad of the group. He knew that if he told the rest of his friends, he would end up either getting teased or roped into a bet that would involve sleeping with you. He may be a misfit, but he respected women. He would tell San, but he would end up getting teased by his brother. How is it that he’s older and yet he’s a lot more childish than the actual child of the group?

-> punk!Jongho, who was surprised to hear the never-ending support from Matz rather than warnings to stay away from you since you were technically associated with Stray Kids. 

“I have a feeling that this one might be the exception. They weren’t repulsed by you nor did they put up with Jisung’s bullshit.” Seonghwa stated. 

“Continue being yourself. If you need guidance, I can help you.” Hongjoong offered. 

-> punk!Jongho, who smiled for the very first time. Matz found the sight endearing. 

-> punk!Jongho, who went home with San with a pep in his step, feeling like a lovesick fool. 

-> punk!Jongho, who did everything in his power to woo you and make you his.

-> punk!Jongho, who smiled at everything you did. From the way you spoke softly to the way you would adjust your glasses every time they were slipping. 

-> punk!Jongho, who couldn’t help but reach out to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear and smirked at the way you blushed upon feeling his touch. After all, you had a certain… affinity for his hands. 

-> punk!Jongho, who enjoyed the way your eyes lit up in astonishment as you watched him break an apple with his bare hands easily. 

“If you had tattoos on your hands, it would make the sight even hotter.”

-> punk!Jongho, who couldn’t help but laugh at the way you said that out loud before realizing what you had done and tried to hide away from him due to the embarrassment you felt. 

“Relax, honey. I’m just teasing you. Come on. Show me that smile.”

-> punk!Jongho, who pretended to be hurt when you smacked his shoulder after he said that. 

“It’s not funny, Jjong!”

“Oh but it is. Now come here.”

-> punk!Jongho, who placed his hands on your sides and started wiggling his fingers so he could tickle you. 

-> punk!Jongho, whose heart was beating rapidly at the sound of your melodious laughter. It was music to his ears. 

“Ok ok! You can stop now!”

punk!Jongho, who felt victorious as he saw you smiling widely at him whilst you were calming yourself down. 

punk!Jongho, who felt a disturbance in the calm environment surrounding when he heard Hyunjin’s voice. 

-> “There you are my little pearl! I was getting so worried about you!”

punk!Jongho, who saw you tense up and put a tight smile on your face to hide the cringe that was simmering inside you. 

“Hyunjin, I don’t think she likes that.”

-> “What does it matter to you, Choi? They’re my partner so I get to call them whatever I want! Right, my pearl?” 

-> punk!Jongho, who was filled with dread when he saw Hyunjin lean in to kiss you. The dread was momentarily gone when he saw you turn your head so his lips landed on your cheek. The dread came back, and it brought jealousy with it. Misplaced jealousy that is. Or was it really misplaced when Jongho couldn’t help his newfound feelings towards you? 

“Come on. We’re meeting up with our book club today. Don’t lollygag around this miscreant here.”

-> punk!Jongho, who felt helpless and heartbroken as he saw you gather your things and walk off with Hyunjin, who immediately placed his hand on your butt and squeezed it tightly. His jealousy turned into rage, and he tried to breathe in and out slowly just like you taught him (he told you he had anger issues, and you helped him out with that), but he couldn’t. 

-> punk!Jongho, who punched the tree next to him and breathed heavily. He felt no pain, nor did he feel the splinters digging into his skin. 

“FUCK ARE YOU STARING AT?!” Jongho yelled at a group of kids passing by. Poor kids. 

-> punk!Jongho, who resisted heavily on taking out a pack of cigarettes so he could smoke his stress away. When he told you about that, you immediately lectured him. Normally, he’d brush it off. However, he found himself listening to you and even asked you how he could quit. One of the ways he could start was with a nicotine patch. He was wearing one right now. 

-> punk!Jongho, who stomped his way back to the apartment he shared with his friends.

-> punk!Jongho, who told everyone to fuck off when they saw him seething with anger.

-> punk!Jongho, who was pacing back and forth in his shared room with Hongjoong and Wooyoung before sitting down on the edge of his bed and putting his face in his hands. 

“Jongho? Is everything ok?”

-> punk!Jongho, who looked up to see San with a concerned look on his face. Since Matz was out doing grocery shopping, he had no choice but to confide in him. After all, they were both raised to never keep secrets from each other. 

-> punk!Jongho, who soon started venting about how his feelings for you were beyond friendship and how he wanted to throttle Hyunjin with his bare hands when he witnessed him make you uncomfortable. 

-> punk!Jongho, who saw his brother’s eyes soften with empathy, which prompted him to speak more.

“Sannie, I… I think I might be in love with them.”

“Not might, Jjong. You are.”

“But what can I do?! I don’t know if they feel the same way! I just… I never felt this way before and I’m scared that I might fuck up!”

San felt his heart break at the sight of his baby brother stuttering over his words and feeling so small and helpless. Usually, he’s the most mature out of the group. But now? He’s a lost little boy trying to navigate through his way as his feelings grow. 

“We will figure something out. Ok?”

-> punk!Jongho, who nodded upon hearing San’s reassuring words and hugged him tightly. The Chois were huge, so the embrace was a bit awkward due to the amount of muscle they both had. 

-> punk!Jongho, who spent the rest of the night playing video games with Yunho and Yeosang until he heard the front door open. 

-> punk!Jongho, who whipped his head around quickly upon hearing your voice. When the fuck did you arrive?! Not that he was complaining, but he had a feeling you were here to explain some things. 

-> punk!Jongho, who told Yunho to pause the game before springing up from his seat and running towards where you were. 

-> punk!Jongho, whose eyes widened when he saw the tears in your own eyes as you were being comforted by Hongjoong, Seonghwa, Wooyoung, and… 

“What the fuck are you doing here, Seo Changbin?”

-> punk!Jongho, who listened attentively as you explained that you were the one that asked him to bring you here since he knew Wooyoung, which was true. After all, Changbin used to be a part of Ateez once upon a time. Despite him being kicked out of the group, he was still best friends with Wooyoung. Ateez couldn’t find it within themselves to split up a childhood friendship. So they let them be. On the condition that it remains a secret. And it was still a secret to this day. 

-> punk!Jongho, who clenched his fist tightly as you kept explaining some more. According to you, you were most definitely not dating Hyunjin and you fought with said boy about the scene that he pulled, which led to his poor excuse being that he was trying to protect you (he wasn’t) from Jongho. 

-> punk!Jongho, who tried not to break the countertop in half when you stated that Stray Kids kicked you out of their group and told you that you are no longer welcome to be with them. But Jongho wasn’t upset with that. He was more upset over Jisung not standing up for you when Christopher (Bang Chan) decided that since you’re the so-called ‘guardian of the clowns’ (a completely stupid name), you’d walk with their circus. 

-> punk!Jongho, who felt your hand cover his and rub your thumb over his bandaged knuckles so he could relax. 

“I’m sorry, honey. I knew they were all douchebags, but I didn’t think your own brother had his head so far up his ass that he would just let you be kicked out like that.”

“It’s ok, Jjongie. I’ll be ok. Besides, with them off my back, I get to finally spend time around the rest of the guys. More importantly, my favorite teddy bear.”

-> punk!Jongho, who felt flustered upon hearing the two nicknames you gave him. Oh he was definitely in for a lot more teasing tomorrow morning.

-> punk!Jongho, who was more than happy to have you stay here within the ATZ condo. On the condition that Wooyoung moves in with Yunho and Yeosang since he trusts Hongjoong enough to be platonic and polite towards you. Wooyoung can too! He just… prefers not to. The last thing Jongho needed was for this rabid barking boy to flirt with you constantly. That would make his blood pressure skyrocket. 

-> punk!Jongho, who settled into living with you easily. Meaning he could hit on you and make you flustered with simple touches or sensual words in your ears every chance he gets. 

-> punk!Jongho, who finally asks you out and you were more than happy to accept his proposal since you felt the same way. 

-> punk!Jongho, who saw you change drastically. In terms of outfits and aesthetics. Gone were the sundresses, bows in your tied up and overly sprayed hair, and flats that you’d come into school with. The sundresses were replaced with cropped band tees and plaid skirts or leather skirts, your hair was let down and had a wolf cut (Jongho definitely didn’t pop a boner upon seeing your new look), and your flats were replaced with either Vans, Converse, or combat boots. 

-> punk!Jongho, who saw you sport a belly button piercing (ok so maybe he did pop a boner when he saw that), a body chain, many rings, and your first ever tattoo. 

-> punk!Jongho, who felt his heart swell with so much love when he saw that your first tattoo was of his initials and the date you became romantic partners over a lotus flower surrounded by thorns. 

-> punk!Jongho, who decided to show off his own tattoos, including a new one on his right hand. The new tat he sported was your initials. 

-> punk!Jongho, who never failed to make sure to use his hands so he could pleasure you and make sure that you were his and his only. 

-> punk!Jongho, who would use his hands in so many ways. From tucking your hair behind your ears to gripping your hips as he fucked you either against a wall or into the mattress. 

-> punk!Jongho, who would use those same hands to beat up Hyunjin. After all, no one hurts his partner. Ever. 

[lucymultistan]

ATEEZ Masterlist

ALL CREDIT IS DUE TO THEIR RIGHTFUL OWNERS, I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THIS- these are just my favorite fics :)

Most of these are OT8, Cuz I’m a slut.

Full fics:

Into the aurora

summary: you didn’t expect to run into choi san outside of the venue, especially when your phone was dead and you were stranded in a random city. a kind offer for a phone charger turns into so much more, and you end up falling into a relationship with all eight members of ateez.

inherited demons

"When my beloved Great Aunt Lilith passed away, I inherited all that belonged to her: her fortune, estate, and also the eight 'charges’ that lived with her since the last time I saw her. Except none of that sounded right, I didn’t even know she had others living with her after 4 years. I just wanted to uncover the hidden truths my beloved Aunt left me, but that was impossibly hard while dealing with the affections of 8 gorgeous men that didn’t seem human at all.”

or

mc inherits her aunts things only to find out Auntie made a deal with some demons and all those demons wanted was MC

Hotel California

YN checks in to a hotel ran by yandere!Ateez, the boys decide she can no longer leave

Mists of Celeste

summary: Sneaking aboard the ship of a renowned space pirate may not have been the best idea, but you’ll have to make do with what fate has handed to you.

The Paradigm complex

summary: They'll do whatever you ask. Anything you need. Anything you want. It's yours. They'll fulfill your every desire and whim. Give you the life you had always dreamed about.And in exchange, you wouldn't just give them your soul. Oh, no, They weren't demons. What good was your soul when your purpose was better served alive and well? Your soul was nice, sure, but it wasn't all they wanted. It wasn't all they needed. They needed your body, your mind. Your blood. You entirely. Every single fiber of your being would soon be theirs and theirs alone. The moment you signed that contract, everything would change. For them and for you. And there was nothing you could do about it.

Morning Mist

Dragon!Ateez, OT8

In Love and Lore

summary: the daemon king and his seven black generals. names and faces of these eight had changed over the years as each new king was crowned, but their reputation as the most powerful daemons always remained the same. upon hearing the rumors one of the seven led the charge of the nearby battle, you should have stayed close to the encampment. you should have never wandered out on your own. but you did, and your life would never be the same again. good or bad, you would just have to wait to find out.

“There’s no need to be afraid, angel.” His words were a breath against the side of your neck. “You’ve done so much for us, let your king now return the favor.”

One-Shots/ Drabbles:

Slumber party

you’re best friends with yunhos sister and after a night out he came to pick you up and bring you back to his shared college dorm with 7 other guys :’)

Wider:

[honeyhotteoks]

into the aurora - chapter twenty-eight (ot8)

chapter twenty-eight: it's all just treasure

chapter summary: after all that talk... you slip away with yunho, san, and wooyoung special note! this chapter was previously published as a one-shot called treasure a long, long time ago. i've completely rewritten so the thread of the fic is the same though. i far prefer this version.

warnings: heavy smut, but specific content warning for the use of a safe word mid sexual act. reader is momentarily panicked/overwhelmed, but no one is hurt at all and no boundaries are disrespected. otherwise; mmmf group sex, oral (f receiving), oral (m receiving), rough oral/face fucking, fingering, overstimulation, rough sex, gratuitous orgasms, light choking, allusion to woosan, big dick yunho, size kink, discussions of boundaries/safe word, aftercare

pairings: ot8 x reader

genre: fluff, angst, romance, ateez ensemble x reader, polyamory, non-idol!reader, fem!reader, smut

word count: 5.6K

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You knew living in the dorms with them would be an adventure, but there was no way in the world you could have anticipated the position you find yourself in now. It’s not even really clear how you even ended up here, but after a long and stressful day and just enough soju, the tension crackling between you finally sparked. Spread across Yunho’s bed, pliant, needy, and nearly naked, you wait for someone to make the next move. 

It shocks you, you’re the one who had suggested that the four of you slip away while the rest of the boys were out. You’re not sure what possessed you to take the step forward and stop talking in hypotheticals, but it certainly seemed like a good idea when you were cuddled between them and feeling their warm touches and soft murmurs against your skin. 

Wooyoung dips forwards eagerly and locks his lips on yours, groaning as you work a hand into his open jeans and under the waistband of his boxers. San continues to kiss and nip at your inner thighs, easing your legs up over his shoulders so he has a better angle. Yunho lays lengthwise on your opposite side, his long legs hanging over the edge of the bed with one foot planted on the floor, watching in rapt fascination as he palms your breast and rolls a nipple experimentally with his thumb and forefinger. While you often catch him watching you during sex, it’s a rare thing that he gets to take a step back and see every moment of your pleasure, and he loves it. 

At a pinch of your right nipple, you gasp against Wooyoung’s lips, and drop your head back on the comforter. 

“Baby,” San murmurs from between your legs, his fingers hooked under the sides of your underwear. You look down to him and he continues, “Are you sure you want to do this?” 

Yunho’s hand stills and you look up to him, watching as his features soften. He smooths his hand down your bare stomach gently and meets your eyes, “It’s whatever you want,” he assures you, “but you should say it.” 

You wet your lips and ease up on your elbows to meet Yunho, your mouth connecting with his softly. “I want you to take care of me,” you confess, “I don’t want to stop,” 

Yunho’s eyes harden, a familiar expression of desire and soft aggression that you have come to seek out. He cups your neck with his warm hand, running the pad of his thumb down your throat. “You’ll have to earn it,” his voice is husky and low, and he drags his thumb back up over your throat, up your jaw, and gently presses your lips open, hooking his thumb on your bottom teeth and meeting your eyes. 

You respond instantly, so familiar with this dance. You close your lips around his thumb, sucking lightly, before opening your mouth for more. “Good girl,” he says, pressing another finger against your tongue, watching you eagerly suck his digits, your eyes locked on his. With a low exhale he smiles, “That’s it,” 

For a moment you forget anyone else is in the room, completely focused on Yunho’s gaze, but a labored “Fuck,” from Wooyoung draws both of your attention. 

Yunho’s fingers leave your mouth, and you look to the side. Wooyoung is painfully hard, his hand softly gripping the base of his cock, “I had no idea,” he manages, his surprise at Yunho’s more commanding presence in the bedroom evident.  

Yunho shakes his head and returns his hand to your breast, “try to keep up,” he shoots him a wry smile before turning to San and nodding once. 

That’s all he needs. Before you can blink, your underwear is stripped away and San’s tongue is firmly against your clit, his hands gripping your thighs as he rolls the flat of his tongue on your sensitive bud. You inhale sharply, dropping your head back against the bed again, gripping Wooyoung’s thigh as he kneels by your shoulder. 

San settles your legs over his shoulders again and holds you steady, dragging his tongue up your slit and sucking teasingly on your swollen nub, earning a rush of wetness between your thighs and a desperate whine from your lips. Your nails dig into Wooyoung’s thigh, your other hand searching for purchase in the sheets next to you as San works you. He adds a single finger, opening you up just a little, and you curse, catching Yunho’s hot gaze. His lips are parted as he watches you, his breath steady and low and his eyes devouring you. 

San holds you against his mouth harder and you choke, “God, San,”

He hums pleasantly, the vibrations running straight up your spine, and he adds a second finger, curling upwards to catch against your g-spot and pumping them in time with his mouth’s ministrations. 

Your back arches up off the mattress, your hips jerking, and you press your eyes shut, focused on the feeling of San between your legs and you’re already nothing but a panting mess.

Yunho runs a wide hand down your chest, your stomach, your hips, before leaning closer to murmur, “Sweetheart, don’t be greedy,” 

Your eyes fly open, and you realize Yunho is gesturing to Wooyoung’s prone cock, only inches from your cheek. “Oh, Woo,” you smooth your hand down his leg, “Come here,” 

“Yeah?” He checks and you nod, propping yourself up on your elbows and opening your mouth expectantly as he shuffles forwards on the bed. 

Yunho’s hand settles warmly in the center of your back between your shoulder blades to take some of the pressure your core muscles that are helping hold you up as Wooyoung’s cock connects with your bottom lip. He groans when you softly lick the tip of him, wetting your lips and sliding your mouth down over his hot length. Wooyoung’s hand settles at the back of your head, winding into your hair and he gently guides your head as you start to bob your head against him. 

“Fuck, y/n,” Wooyoung sighs. 

You’re already overwhelmed with the sensations around you, but you take a deep inhale through your nose and settle yourself, sinking down fully on Wooyoung’s cock and opening your throat. You can’t help but gag softly, but you control it much better now and you can’t help but feel proud as you sink him fully in your mouth from tip to base. 

“Oh, fuck, you’re getting good at that, baby,” Wooyoung hisses, and you hum softly against him in response. 

Yunho’s hand shifts slightly on your back and you feel his fingers spread wide, pressing you forwards a little to support you better, and he sighs, “So good, you’re being so good for us, sweetheart,”  

You whine around Wooyoung’s cock at his words, the pleasure rippling through you at his words and the building heat from San’s fingers now pumping more steadily inside you. Wooyoung mutters something above you that you can’t make out, and you realize quickly that he’s not talking to you. 

Yunho responds to him, “Mhm,” and you can almost picture the smile on his face, “she loves it when you tell her how she’s doing,” 

“Yeah?” Wooyoung looks down at you, his cock slipping free from your mouth so he can meet your eyes, smiling. 

“Watch,” Yunho leans in close, at your ear startlingly quick, “I think you deserve a reward,” 

You whine in affirmation, “Please, please,” 

Wooyoung’s eyes widen watching you beg, he’s never seen it quite like this and his hand in your hair tightens. 

San lifts his mouth away and looks up at you, breathless, “Are you close, baby?” 

Your thighs are trembling around him, and by now he knows your body’s responses like clockwork, knows you’re close, but he likes it when you say it. “So close,” you pant. 

“Woo,” Yunho nods towards him, gesturing for him to get involved again, and Wooyoung nods before eagerly pressing his cock back in your mouth. 

San’s lips close over your clit again, his fingers now hitting the perfect pace, and your orgasm starts to build, your ability to properly focus on properly sucking Wooyoung falling by the wayside and you moan around him. He catches on quickly though, and starts to thrust into your mouth, holding you steady and letting you take him the way he needs. 

Your free hand searches blindly for Yunho, your fingers closing over the fabric of the thin white t-shirt he’s still wearing, and you clutch the garment tightly. He hums pleasantly at your desperation before he makes you see stars. Running his hand firmly down your stomach, he presses the heel of his hand down against the sweet, soft spot above your public bone that he knows makes you dizzy, and you snap. The combination of the pressure, San’s fingers, and the return of his tongue against your clit breaks the dam and you whine, muffled and messy as you start to crest into coming, your body shaking beneath them. “There you go,” Yunho croons close to your ear, “that’s it,” 

Wooyoung collapses over you then, supporting himself with his free arm and thrusting faster, chasing his own orgasm with abandon.  “Fuck, fuck,” he groans above you, and you have the wherewithal to run your tongue along the underside of his shaft, hollowing out our cheeks and adding just that perfect bit of extra pressure. He comes with a gasp, his release spilling hot and sudden down your throat and as soon as you can you pull your head back sharply and Wooyoung lets you go. 

Your mouth finally unobstructed, you cry out and arch back, your head against Yunho’s thigh as he supports you, coming hard and fast against San’s mouth. As you blink your eyes open, you see Wooyoung above you, leaning heavily on Yunho’s broad shoulder still, his eyes on you. 

You’re shuddering, and Yunho’s hand relaxes, adjusting to stoke your skin softly, lovingly. 

“Pretty baby,” San murmurs, kissing the insides of your thighs softly as you come down.

Wooyoung finally rocks back on his heels, pushing away from Yunho and looking down at you. “That was incredible,” he grins, cupping your cheek and gently massaging your scalp where moments before he had gripped your hair so tightly. 

“I don’t,” you stutter, still trying to regain air and some semblance of what is up and what is down. 

“Shh,” Yunho murmurs, “you okay?” 

You nod and steady your breathing, assessing yourself, but what you really are desperate for is San. Flopped back on the mattress, you catch your breath and Yunho slips your hand free from his shirt so he can press his palm against yours. He squeezes your hand once, and you squeeze him back – you’re fine, you just need a minute. 

San’s hand is running a steady, comforting line up your leg, waiting for you to recover when he hears you. 

“I need it,” you manage, “baby, please,” your hand outstretched to San. 

Yunho grins next to you, “You want more?” 

You look down to San, his position resting still between your knees, and he smiles up at you, a little wolfishly, “What do you need, baby?” 

“Sannie,” you open and close your outstretched hand to him, trying to communicate even through your brain is still foggy, “you, now, please,” 

“Mm,” he hums, “You need me where?” 

“San, please,” you beg. 

“Tell us what you need,” Wooyoung offers, and the sound of his voice being assertive and direct melts you. It clears your brain just enough for you to beg once, “Inside me, please,” 

“That wasn’t so hard,” Yunho chuckles, his fingers softly stroking along your side. 

“God,” you sigh as San stands up to undo his jeans and slip them and his boxers off, “All three of you are teases,” 

“You love it,” Wooyoung shoots back, and you grin, the banter with him something you were used to. 

“You and your mouth,” you crane your neck to press a kiss to his bare thigh, the closest skin of his you can reach. 

“Always make you come?” He drags his thumb over your nipple playfully and you bat back his hand. 

“That was all me this time,” San interjects, kneeling on the bed and moving between your open legs. 

You’re about to open your mouth to respond, but Yunho cuts in, “Do it again then,” 

“Love to,” San hauls your hips up off the bed fast and you yelp in surprise, gasping as he presses into you suddenly. The angle of your hips up like this makes the push of him inside you delicious. You’re soaked, and he slides in easily, his warm length running a wave of pleasure across your body and making you shiver. 

“You feel so good,” San groans as he begins to move, rolling his hips against yours and working himself in deeper. 

“Fuck yes,” you breathe, relaxing into the sensations, the way San has you held leaves you little room to your hips on your own and he likes it that way. 

Yunho gathers your wrists in one hand and raises your arms up over your head to pin them down to the mattress, and he watches your face twist up in pleasure. 

Usually, San loves to take his time with you, drag things out for as long as possible, but something in his eyes today is starving and consuming, and his hands on your hips tighten so hard you know you’ll have bruises. You watch him as he thrusts into you, mouth parted softly, the muscles of his arms and shoulders tensing, and the feeling of his hips knocking firmly with yours, the sound of wet skin on skin. 

You don’t notice at first that Wooyoung has left your side, you’re so singularly focused on the way San is making you feel, and the way Yunho is holding you down, his free hand dragging up and down your body softly with his nails, heightening the sensations. Wooyoung stands by San, his jeans fastened again but still shirtless, and you feel San tense in surprise when Wooyoung runs a hand down his back. “Oh,” San breathes, glancing to the side at his best friend. 

Yunho looks up at the sound, smiles at them briefly and refocuses on you, but you keep watching. 

“You look so good making her come,” Wooyoung admits, “so fucking hot,” 

“Oh fuck,” you manage, moaning tightly and squirming your hips back against San’s, desperately shifting to try and hit the right spot, floored by how good the two of them look together between your thighs. 

Yunho makes a sound to your side, and you snap your head over to look at him, through your haze you realize how neglected he’s been, so focused on you and your pleasure, and you crane your neck to catch his eye better. “Baby,” your voice catching, “Yunho, let me help you,” 

You can see the strain of his cock against his sweatpants, tenting them, but he shakes his head and tightens his grip on your wrists, “Soon,” he says. 

“y/n,” Wooyoung says, a smile in his voice, and you turn to look. He bites his lip, his eyes trained you, “you take his cock so fucking well,” he says, and drops a kiss on San’s bare shoulder. 

You curse softly and groan, and you hear Yunho chuckle at your side. 

“I’m not going to last,” San chokes out, and when you look back you can barely breathe, the sight of Wooyoung’s lips on San’s neck and the way his eyes have slipped shut, head lolling back. 

“Let me help,” Wooyoung reaches around for you and slides his fingers directly over your clit, rubbing firm and frantic circles that normally wouldn’t hit the right pace, but suddenly have you crying out and arching up, your body moving on its own. 

San clings to you, biting out a curse as he starts to come, and the combination of his frantic thrusts and Wooyoung’s fingers push you straight over the edge again. With your wrists held down and your hips held in place you stain against the three of them as they hold you down to ride out your orgasm. 

“Good,” Yunho breathes, but you can hear the strain in his voice, and you know he must be desperate for someone to touch him too. 

San eases your hips down to the mattress again, slipping his softening cock out of you and letting your legs drop open. You catch the shared look between San and Wooyoung easily, but thankfully there’s no discomfort there, just easy trust and a little open curiosity in their eyes. 

You press up against Yunho’s hold on your wrists and turn to him, “Yun,” 

He releases you immediately, and you reach up for him, bringing his face closer to catch his lips in a kiss. He inhales sharply, but responds immediately, his tongue dipping into your mouth against yours. You moan softly against him, and he breaks away, his forehead still resting on yours. He runs a hand down your front to cup your soaked cunt, “Can you take me, baby?” His voice is just him this time, no extra edge, and you know he’s just checking in with you. 

“God, yes,” you nod against him, and rock your hips up into the flat of his hand, “I need you,” 

He hums softly, pleased, and kisses you softly before pulling away entirely and moving off the bed to stand, “Let’s move up,” 

You ease yourself up on your elbows, but after the amount they’ve already put you through you’re pretty sure your legs aren’t working right. Quickly sensing your dilemma, Yunho scoops you up with ease and shifts you up, closer to the center of the mattress. As you settle in the new position, you watch as he pulls off his shirt, running a hand through his dark hair before gesturing for Wooyoung, “Come over here and get behind her,” 

He complies quickly, climbing back onto the bed and when Yunho pulls you up to a sitting position, Wooyoung slides in behind you with one leg on either side of you. “Like this?” He checks. 

“Yeah,” Yunho eases you back down so that your back connects with Wooyoung’s slick chest, “support her,” 

Wooyoung shifts, getting comfortable leaning against the headboard and letting you recline back onto him. You rest your hands on his thighs and allow yourself to relax fully into his touch as he drops soft kisses to your hairline. San moves to follow, and settles at your side, cupping one of your breasts softly and kneading it gently. You look up to him and he smiles, “Hi, baby,” 

“Hey,” you sigh. 

“Feeling good?” San checks, cupping your cheek for a moment. 

“Really, really good,” you nod, and he smiles. 

Yunho shucks off his sweatpants and boxers and kicks them to the side, and just like every other time before, his size sends a rush of nervous anticipation through you. He kneels on the bed between your legs and eases forwards to catch one of Wooyoung’s hands, placing it against your throat. 

You nod eagerly and Yunho gives you a half smile, but refocuses on Wooyoung, laying his hand on top of his and showing him where to hold and how to press. Your mouth drops open with a gasp when he tries on his own, flexing his hand around your neck experimentally. 

“Good,” Yunho nods. 

“This okay?” Wooyoung flexes his hand again and checks with you. 

You nod immediately against him, and feel yourself getting wet and needy again, your eyes back on Yunho who’s watching you hungrily. He runs his thumb across your abused clit softly, flicking it gently and making you whine, before shifting over you. He dwarfs you like always, and his large hands grip you tightly. 

He directs his cock to your entrance and presses in, sliding in an inch at a time. “Fuck, tiny,” he groans, his brows tight together. 

“Slow, slow,” you jerk your hips back, “please, Yunho,” 

“Shh, shh,” he murmurs, keeping it slow and controlled as he moves into you, “I’ve got you sweetheart, I know you take me,” 

Wooyoung’s fingers twitch tighter, and you can’t stop the desperate whimpers that bubble over as Yunho slowly works himself in until he’s fully seated inside you. It burns to stretch for him, it always does, but after a few moments and gentle rocks of his hips back and forth your muscles relax and accommodate him with ease. 

“Yunho, God,” you stutter out. 

He dips low and kisses you, leaving his hips dropped down against yours, and he murmurs a quick, “Okay?” 

“Move, please,” you nod, and he shifts back up to start rolling his hips. 

Your body feels sharp, every inch of your skin buzzing and your head dizzy, and despite the knot of tense pleasure building up again, every press of his body forwards connects your hips and runs a sharp spike of pain up your body from every shift against your overused clit. 

Yunho shifts himself back to kneel, holding your hips tightly in his hands and thrusts in, hitting you as deeply as he can and from this angle the light bulge of his cock presses up visibly in your lower stomach. The sight of it makes you squirm, the slide of him against your soft spot making your hips jerk against him. 

“Fuck, Yunho,” San manages, seeing the ripple in your stomach and watching you come apart at the seams. 

Yunho ignores him, focused entirely on the way your head has dropped to the side, looking like you’ve been fucked dumb with your mouth hanging open and your eyes pressed tightly shut. You groan when San drips to catch a nipple in his mouth, sucking sharply and flicking it with his tongue, Wooyoung using his free hand to tweak your other nipple, and Yunho watches as you whine against them. 

You’re fully caught between them all now, and you can barely keep up with the way you were falling apart, the feeling of Yunho filling you to an almost painful proportion combined with the heady loss of air and their sharp ministrations almost too much to handle. 

“Fuck, baby,” Yunho pants above you, “you take me so well every time,” 

You whine softly, and your hips jerk on their own, pressing up into him and Yunho mistakes it for you silently pleading for more. “Harder?” he says, his voice teasing, “look at you, you’re so full, tiny,” 

At the words your brain somersaults, but then his thrusts become faster, needier, and harder into you. The sound of his panting and soft groans in your ear suddenly drowned out by your own heartbeat. The raw feeling from being thoroughly fucked doubles, and when the head of Yunho’s cock gently connects with your cervix, you jerk. Wooyoung’s hand on your throat stifles your voice, and you try to swim up but are struggling for your words. Black spots dance across your vision, no amount of blinking clearing them, hot tears rolling down your temples. When Yunho hits the spot again, you know you have to get out. 

Frantically you tap Wooyoung’s thigh with your available hand, striking him firmly and his grip on your throat releases, letting you suck in a gulp of air, the feeling dizzying. "Treasure!” You choke out, reaching back in your mind for the safe word you’ve never used before, the word crystal clear in the air in this moment of your striking panic. 

Yunho rocks back immediately, he’s been waiting for this moment, always knowing that with his level of intensity and obvious size difference there was always a chance it would be too much. Wooyoung’s hand drops away from your throat and San looks up at you, studying your face to see what could be wrong. 

You stay collapsed against Wooyoung’s chest, your breathing shaky and you blink to try and clear your vision. Yunho reaches for you, pulling your face gently up to meet his eyes, “y/n? Hey,” he cups your cheeks, “y/n, talk to me,” 

Your vision finally clears and the first thing you realize is that Yunho is directly in your eyeline, clearly panicked, “I’m okay,” you manage, clearing your throat gently, “I’m okay,” 

Yunho looks relieved, leaning away a little to give you more space. San brushes his fingers down your hair softly, “What happened, baby?”

You shake your head against Wooyoung and take another raspy breath, “I got scared,” 

Yunho’s eyes soften instantly, his expression crumbling and he shakes his head, “I’m so sorry,” 

“No, no,” you protest, “it’s okay, it was just a lot all at once, I was afraid I might pass out,” but when you shift against Wooyoung Yunho watches the way you wince and lifts his hands off you. 

Wooyoung wraps an arm around you and kisses your head, lips against your hair when he says, “I was too rough with you, I’m so sorry,” 

Tears gather in your eyes, and you try to swallow back the knot in your throat, knowing that crying will only make them more terrified, but you’re suddenly emotionally overwhelmed and Yunho’s not touching you now, and that fact combined with the look on his face makes your chest tight.  

The sound of San pulling on his jeans draws your attention and you shift to look at him, “Where are you going?” The idea that he might leave you now of all times is more upsetting than anything. 

“Hey,” he notices you’re fighting off tears instantly and pulls you into his arms, cradling you close, “I’ve got you; I was just going to get you water, that’s it. I’m not going anywhere,” 

“I have to,” Yunho starts behind you, but his words trail off, and when you turn you see that he’s tugged his sweats back on and he drags his hands through his hair, his eyes faraway. 

“Yunho, don’t,” Wooyoung shakes his head, “Sit down.” 

Tears spill over, and there’s a sharp noise when you take an inhale. Yunho’s eyes snap to you, and you shake your head, “Don’t go, please don’t go,” 

He shakes his head, and finally reaches for you. San passes you over carefully, and Yunho settles back down to sit on the bed, cradling you now in his lap. 

“I’m getting that water,” San says. 

“Wait,” Yunho stops him, tearing his eyes away from you, “get something with sugar, and toss me that sheet,” 

San and Wooyoung both yank the sheet up and hand it over, and Yunho tucks it around you, before gently holding your cheek in his hand, brushing tears away, “Did I hurt you?” His voice is raw. 

Wooyoung watches quietly, up and on his knees, ready to do something but not knowing what. 

“It’s not that,” you assure Yunho and take a deep breath, able to control yourself better now that you are in his arms, and you know he’s not leaving. 

“Don’t lie,” he murmurs quietly, “not to me,” 

Before you can answer, San’s back, water bottles tucked under his arm and fistfuls of candy, gummy ropes and chocolates. He tosses everything down on the bed and Wooyoung snaps up a water bottle to crack open the seal and pass it over to you. Yunho leans back and gives you a little space to drink the water and choke down some of the gummy candy before he runs his hand up and down your arm, nodding at you to answer his question. 

“It’s never hurt before,” you admit. 

His fingers tighten on you, “but it did today?” 

“A little,” 

“Fuck,” he breathes, and the look on his face is too much.

“Yunho, no,” you protest, reaching for him, “it was just everything all at once. I’m okay, I’m not hurt, I’m not upset, I just needed to stop, and you stopped.” 

He pulls you to him, dropping his face down onto your shoulder, “I never want to hurt you,” he whispers, and you hear the tense crackle in his voice. 

“I know,” you squeeze his hand, “and you didn’t. You did what I needed, you all did,” 

He nods against you, and you feel Wooyoung and San shuffle closer on either side of you, finding some patch of skin to stroke and soothe you. They watch the moment between you and Yunho carefully, knowing they’d feel exactly the same, and Wooyoung reaches out to squeeze Yunho’s shoulder and offer a bit of silent comfort. 

After a few minutes, Wooyoung breaks the silence, “Is there anything we can do?” His fingers knead comforting circles in your extended palm. 

You sigh, leaning back from Yunho a bit to look up at them, “Something more substantial to eat maybe?” 

Wooyoung nods immediately, “Food, on it,” 

“Actually,” you stop him from running off and lean back from Yunho a little more so you can swipe at your eyes and take a deep breath, your head finally feeling clear, “if someone can help me get cleaned up, I say we meet back on the couch for food and something to watch?” 

San brushes your hair behind your ear and nods, “Of course,” he says, “we’ve got you, we’ll always take care of you.” 

Wooyoung nods and squeezes your hand again. 

Yunho kisses your temple, “Let’s get you cleaned up then,” 

He stands with you still in his arms, angling towards the door, but quickly checking with San, “Is anyone else home yet?” 

“Nobody,” he confirms. 

Yunho moves you into the bathroom and sets you down on the counter softly, and Wooyoung leaps up, rushing ahead of you both to turn on the warm shower and lay out some towels. 

“I’m going to start some food,” Wooyoung makes sure you know where he’ll be, before looking up to Yunho, “you got this?” 

“Yeah,” he says, his voice still a little hoarse. 

“I’ll see you in twenty, babe,” Wooyoung gives you a quick kiss, trying to lighten the mood a little already and giving you and Yunho some space. 

San watches Yunho check the heat of the shower, and steps close to you, “You’re alright?” 

“I promise,” you tell him, and he runs his hand along your thigh. 

“I should help Woo,” he murmurs, kissing you tenderly before stepping away, “and I’ll give you some space.” 

“Thank you,” you say quietly, and with a last look he slips out the door. 

“Ready?” Yunho kicks off his sweats again and reaches for you. 

You nod and ease yourself off the bathroom counter to stand on your own two feet, despite how shaky your legs are. He catches your forearm for support, and you lean on him as you both climb into the warm spray. From behind you, he holds you against him again and dips his head to rest against yours, “You mean so much to me,” he confesses, the tension still evident in his voice, “I never want to cause you pain.”

“I know,” you run your hand along his arm wrapped around you, “but you didn’t, I just got overwhelmed.”

“I’m sorry,” he says again, and you shake your head. 

“There’s nothing to be sorry for,” you lean back against his chest, “you made sure I picked a safe word for a reason, and I know we never wanted to use it, but we did it right.” 

He’s quiet, holding you close. 

“Yunho,” you turn your head to the side and kiss his arm, “you made me feel so safe,” 

“Safe?” you hear the tone of his voice, and you shake your head. 

“You listened,” you insist softly, repeating yourself and intent on making him understand that the problem isn’t a moment of discomfort, it would have been a dismissal of your boundaries, “you heard me, and you stopped, and you stayed with me. That’s all I could have asked for.” 

He doesn’t respond but wraps you tightly in his arms and says everything in his soft embrace and gentle rocking. He helps you shower, easing you through the process and wraps you in an oversized fluffy towel at the end. San had grabbed a comfortable change of clothes for you from your room, and you slip into them happily and braid back your wet hair. 

In the living room you gather back together, wrapped up in each other’s laps as you rest, keeping as much skin on skin contact as possible. Yunho’s starts to relax by the time you're midway through eating, and it releases any lingering tension about the night, leaving you just in the middle of a movie night with your boys. 

When the first movie of the night rolls its credits, you shift in San’s embrace, “I want you to know,” addressing them all now, “I liked what we did. I want,” you pause and collect your thoughts, “I want to do it again. Maybe just less passing out next time, we can take water breaks,” you smile. 

“I would love to,” Wooyoung says first, and you don’t miss the quick flick of his eyes to San, “as long as you feel comfortable.

“I do,” you nod.

“Okay,” San nods, “then we’ll try again sometime, but for tonight let’s just take it easy.” 

“Definitely,” you agree. 

Yunho’s still quiet for a few moments, but when you look to him, he nods, “Next time we’ll be more careful,” 

You sigh in relief, taking his hand in yours, “Next time.”