#ateez aurora fic

[sorryimananti-romantic]

AHAHA OMG HAS IT ALREADY BEEN 10 MONTHS KDFJGHDJG FEELS LIKE YESTERDAY HAHA IM SO GLAD YOU'RE FEELING THIS WAY EVEN AFTER REREADING that's literally such high praise 😭🩷 THANK YOU SO MUCH!

Aurora

strategist!yunho x spy!reader

falling in love with the enemy?au

genre and warnings: some fluff, loads of angst, slow burn, suggestive, manipulation, betrayal, lies lies lies, blood and violence warnings, swearing, human lab rats, mentions of self-harm (picking at old scars), lmk if i missed sth.

word count: 26.5k

synopsis: you're finally working at halaland's most prestigious research centre as a skilled cryptographer. reality is, you're a utopian spy trained by the crescents to uncover the suspicious activity in the medical research department. to get there, you must first become a part of jeong yunho's strategy team and win his favour. however, as you both get closer, the presence of secrets burden you both and you know you're up for eventual heartbreak when you fall in love. you dread when he'll learn who you truly are.

manager-nim: @eightmakesonebraincell (made sure i got my ass working on this and yeah couldn't have done this without her <3)

You didn’t know what you were expecting when you stepped within Halaland, legally, for the first time. One could argue about the legality of your admission into the country but as far as everyone was concerned, you were a Halaland native returning from Mist Island after training.  

“The wind is not different. The land is the same. I wonder why we have so many differences?” You wondered out loud and Seonghwa shot you a warning look, making the others in the car squirm.

“No matter how much this place feels like home, remember what you are here for,” Seonghwa looked at all three of you as he said. Everyone nodded in synchrony. “As of this moment… we’re strangers and I’m just the poor Mr. Park who was unfortunate enough to be collecting young female researchers from around the continent. Now… I hope you all remember who you are?”

“Aurora,” you called your new name, the way it rolled off your lips feeling foreign even to you. “For the cryptography team.”

“And the strategy team if you’re lucky,” Seonghwa reminded you of the first step towards your ultimate goal and you gulped, nodding. While he talked to Byeol and Nami, you resorted to watching the apple farm pass by as you drew closer to the Capital.

If someone had asked you a few years ago- before the war with Utopia began- what profession you saw yourself in, you’d say teaching in a breath. Teaching maths. Your original dream, before Halaland announced war on your home and snatched everything from you- family, friends, and dreams.

It was ironic that you were now in the very land you hated to the core, as their researcher. As the notorious Halazia Research Center- home to the most dangerous weapons on the continent- came into view, you couldn’t help but wow at the endless array of towers and buildings that must make up half of the Capital. It looked plain enough for the horrors it had been producing for a decade now. You straightened and put on a practised smile before you stopped at the gate for identification.

Thankfully, none of you held your breath as they went through your tags and got a good look at you. Seonghwa said a few words to the guards and then they let you through, leading the car to the Security Office.

You got off and took a quick glance around at the grey structure and the signs in their native language before greeting the middle-aged man who you very well recognised.

“Ladies, it’s a pleasure to finally have you here,” he took off his hat and tipped his head in greeting and the three of you curtsied. “I am Dr. Eric Cho, co-director of Halazia. I hope your journey wasn’t too troublesome- I understand you had to travel through land due to the circumstances…”

“Not at all,” Byeol passed her trademark gummy smile, one that charmed not only men but women as well. “I always wanted to see what Utopia looked like. I have to admit it wasn’t much.”

Dr. Cho seemed to like that attitude and he laughed out loud. “I’m sure it’s got some hidden gems too.”

“We travelled around the border so they probably don’t have much to share about the sights,” Seonghwa dug out cigarettes from his pocket and offered one to the doctor and you watched them light each other’s cigarettes, sharing a moment which made rage simmer in your throat but you tightened your smile- Seonghwa was only acting. “Shall I take them inside?”

Dr. Cho motioned for one of the officers to escort you inside the Security Office and you weren’t surprised by how thoroughly you were all checked- they didn’t spare one inch on your body, which made you feel a bit uncomfortable. When you were done and came outside, Dr. Cho scanned you.

“Are you the one who decrypted our code in the shortest time so far?”

“3 minutes and 28 seconds, Doctor,” you saluted. “Aurora Han at your service.”

“That’s a whole 2 minutes shorter than the previous record-holder,” his eyes twinkled and you passed a proud smile. “Do you know what can happen in 2 minutes?”

“The world can change in 2 seconds.”

“I like her,” Dr. Cho laughed. “Cryptography Department, is it?”

“Keep an eye on her,” Seonghwa nodded. “Puzzles are not the only thing she is good at.”

Before the doctor could ask more, Byeol and Nami were out and the five of you had lunch where the doctor briefed you about the ambitions of this research centre and what they were striving for. It was pretty well rehearsed and felt like something he had narrated multiple times so you just listened to every word and nodded like a schoolgirl. After that, you followed an officer to the Cryptography Department where you filled the paperwork so you could get a pass and start working from tomorrow.

“Shall I ask one of those guys to give you a tour of the department?” The officer asked, looking pretty tired.

“It’s alright, I’ll just find my way to the dorms, I think the fatigue is finally catching up,” you said and he bowed before leaving. You picked up your belongings and exited the office, taking a deep breath.

This was it.

After 3 years of training as a member of Crescent- a group of spies in Utopia that infiltrated into Halaland to find something, anything to win the goddamned war, you were finally here. As you walked along the corridors, peeking into the labs and memorising the path, you couldn’t help but feel both terror and a sense of accomplishment. You weren’t afraid, no. You were terrified of the fact that whatever you did here could turn the tide of the war.

You were looking at the picture of the alumni of the department, recalling their names in your head. You remembered what the Captain- the mastermind behind the Crescents- had said time and time again:

“The easiest way to get wherever you want is to get into your senior’s good graces. The easiest way to get caught, however, comes after that.”

You were staring holes at the picture of the person you wanted to approach first when someone cleared their throat behind you, making you nearly jump out of your skin.

“You seem to know them.”

You turned around with a hand on your heart, greeted by a tall figure in a uniform you very well recognised, the black outfit producing a striking contrast with the gold medals and red details. The Strategy Department.

“Of course I know them,” you managed to say as you took a careful step away. “Who doesn’t?”

He smiled, standing beside you. “Are you the new recruit?”

“I thought that was obvious,” you couldn’t help yourself and he grinned. You stifled a smile- he had quite a friendly face. “Do you work here too?”

“I work… around,” he said and you didn’t probe further. “I’m mostly on the field though. I bring data back. So… Miss?”

“Han. Han Aurora,” you told him and he nodded.

“Aurora,” he tested, a subtle raise of his brow as he scanned you and you licked your suddenly dry lips. “Do you need help finding the dorms? I reckon you’d want to get rid of your bags before you memorise every face on the frames in this hall.”

“Sadly, yes,” you replied. You could return his humour if that was what he wanted. He seemed to be pleased and offered to hold your bags but you insisted you were fine.

“Let me have my gentleman moment, please,” he laughed and you finally handed him your bags. 

“I thought you’d have quite a bit of those moments on ‘the field’,” you commented as you walked beside him. 

“Not really,” he shook his head. “I’m only a gentleman when I’m not on the field.”

You ooh-ed dramatically at that, making him grin. After walking to the third floor and taking a few turns, you finally arrived outside the rooms.

“Men on the left, women on right,” he pointed. “You could probably choose your own room there. We don’t have many women in this field.”

“Well, I’ll take my bag from here,” you smiled. “Thank you, Mr…?”

“Jeong Yunho, from the Strategy Department.”

—-------------------

The lab in the Cryptography Department was going to be your workplace and it was everything you had expected- a bit tense, occasional jokes to lighten the mood, some of them scribbling while the others typing endlessly into the computers. You weren’t surprised by the vibe.

However, you were surprised when Jeong Yunho from yesterday introduced himself as a member of the Cryptography Department.

“He’s everywhere, you’ll get used to it,” Dr. Takashi, your team leader, said dismissively.

“When you’re from the Strategy Department… you need to be everywhere,” Yunho explained with a grin.

“Sounds fun,” you made a face and began setting your things on the desk, glancing around. “So what are your contributions to the Cryptography Department, Mr. Jeong?”

“Call me Yunho,” he smiled. “I’ll admit, not much. It’s you guys who will be cracking all the codes. Meanwhile, you, Miss Aurora, will be reporting to Dr. Takashi there with all your findings at the end of the day, and if you’re good enough, who knows? You might be assigned to my team.”

“He’s just pulling your leg,” Kate, who sat nearest to your desk, rolled around in her chair and looked pointedly at Yunho. “He’s the Strategy Department’s ace. Anyone who comes under his wing either ends up losing it or begging to quit, because once you’re assigned to him? Your life gets harder.”

“Ah, is that why you’re purposely slacking off these days, Kate?” Yunho raised a brow in challenge and Kate pursed her lips guiltily.

You remembered every detail about Jeong Yunho from the files you had read on him. Skilled cryptographer though he was playing humble here, very skilled strategist and you supposed the title of ‘ace’ fit him since his contributions stretched across multiple departments, including the Medical Department- your end goal. You knew in your bones that this man was dangerous and you could not afford a single mistake around him, but the fact that he was so… relaxed? Cheerful? Quite a contrast to the otherwise tense environment in the lab.

It put you off guard, and you did not like it.

“Shall I… try then?” You asked, drawing their attention. “I’ve been told I’m not that bad a strategist.”

“Hmm, my team has grown smaller in number in the past few months,” Yunho considered. “I like that ambition. Dr. Cho had a lot to say about you, so if you prove yourself, I might personally put in a request for you to be on my team.”

“I’m suddenly not sure if I want that,” you laughed nervously and Kate snickered.

“Yunho, you’re scaring the new kid! Get out of here, it’s only her first day, don’t overwhelm her,” Kate practically pushed Yunho out of the cubicle, his laugh ringing in the lab and the others present smiling faintly as he passed by. You frowned a bit- it was only a few hours into your first day but it was already full of surprises.

The rest of the day passed by with you studying the codes that came in for the day- thankfully, Halaland hadn’t cracked Utopia’s code of communication yet. You, of course, knew exactly what it said, being one of the masterminds behind the code creation, however, you knew you were going to be treading on dangerous waters here. You remembered what the Captain had told you-

“It’s harder to pretend that you don’t know anything than to pretend you know something. So when you see our code, how will you blend in? If you don’t provide a meaningful contribution, they’re going to transfer you out of the Capital. That means you’re done for. However, if you crack the code entirely, that means you’ve studied similar codes, which means you might be acting as a spy. So what will you do?”

“Lay low for a while and then plant an idea in someone’s head,” you had replied. “When the person gets closer to cracking the code, I’ll step in and steal the spotlight. They might call me shameless for it but in the end, what will matter is that it would be me who eventually cracked the code.”

It was only a matter of ‘when’ now, and you would thankfully be getting that message through this very code soon, by the Captain himself. Before that, you were going to start putting your plan into action and build your background so that you coming to the solution wouldn’t seem out of the blue.

And that meant you had to trick the entire Cryptography Department. That was easy- they lived in their own heads.

But could you trick Jeong Yunho? 

Later in your room, you changed into your nightgown and sat at your desk, peeking out of the window to see Dr. Cho conversing with some strangers. You shut your eyes, recalling the lesson you had learnt every day for the past two years- 

“You’re my asset, Aurora,” the Captain said and your eyes widened in surprise- the man rarely ever complimented anyone on their skill, let alone call them their ‘asset’. “You’re everything I needed.”

“And what’s that?” 

“An innocent face with a deadly brain and a frozen heart,” he patted your arm, looking down at the scar that ran down from your elbow- an ugly gash that was a sign that you were a survivor. “You’d make my perfect little spy. You’re my ace, Aurora.”

You picked at the scar as you told yourself what you were here for. 

Revenge. Plain and simple. Revenge for the people you lost, the home they took from you, the families they broke. 

All hail Utopia, you whispered to yourself as you met eyes with Dr. Cho through the window.

—----------------------

You let a few uneventful days pass by before you took your first step- which was to steer your colleagues further away from cracking Utopia’s code of communication by pointing them in a similar but totally opposite direction. 

It was simple enough- creating notes from the past few attempts of the Cryptography Department, reading books and books of code and puzzles in your spare time which you would spend either in the lab or in the cafeteria, anywhere where you had eyes. You immersed yourself in codebreaking like your teammates but with your progress, you proved everyday that you were better than the others by a good margin.

It was to the point that even your colleagues like Kate, who had initially cared if you were eating well, stopped caring altogether- you could clearly handle yourself. However, as soon as they stopped, you made sure to slack on eating, to doze off while working or scratch your hair out in frustration when you came upon a dead end. That certainly prompted some of them to ask you to take a break, reminding you that a burdened mind would be no good here.

Yunho visited twice- once with confidential information that only Dr. Takashi had the privilege to hear, and the second time to ‘glance’ around, as he put it.

He fired two people that day.

You were standing by a window and recalling the events of that day when Yunho spotted you and joined.

“What are you looking at?”

“The sky’s clear,” you replied casually.

The sky is clear. No aircrafts. No smoke. No cries of the mourners filling the seemingly permanent darkness of the sky.

“I hope you weren’t too surprised by the events of that day,” he glanced at you and you wondered if he had read your mind. “You should have guessed by now that whenever I visit, I’m actually evaluating.”

“I’m… not exactly surprised, I expected that,” you laughed nervously, not meeting his eyes. “I’ve heard enough about you and your fellows from the Strategy Department. I’m just… wondering why Strategy holds the authority to do that. I thought the Head of Cryptography did that?”

“You’re right,” Yunho nodded. “But your Head of Department is far too busy for such meagre tasks. He lets us handle it. Why do you think we hold that authority?”

You looked at him this time. “Because every second is valuable, and you cannot afford to entertain people who’re not contributing?”

“Something along those lines, but to be exact, we cannot afford the people who waste our resources. We’re few in numbers but we need maximum output. And for that, we need people who do not slack, or who at least try. So my next question is, how much are you trying, Aurora?”

Your heart sank despite all the training you had done before arriving here. “I cannot be the judge of that.”

“Exactly. You said you’re not a bad strategist. I see potential in you, but so far I haven’t seen output, Aurora. So if you at least want to stay in the Cryptography Department, I’ll need to see something significant soon.”

Asshole, you thought. You cleared your throat. “I do have this notion that I'm entertaining. I won’t spill until I’m at least 51 percent sure, but I think it could turn the tide.”

“Is that so?” Yunho raised a curious brow. 

“I’m just trying my best… Sir.”

Yunho laughed heartily at your sudden use of title and you almost glared daggers at him though his hearty laugh forced your lips to curve a bit. “I’m not pulling rank on you- that was not my intention. But… you keep working on that, okay? I’d like to hear what you’re thinking, even if you’re 49 percent sure.”

With that, he walked off and you watched his tall figure until he paused and turned, catching you staring at him.

“And Aurora?”

“Yes?”

“It’s Yunho for you,” he smiled, disappearing into the shadows. You found yourself stifling a smile at the man who could be both ice cold and warm as the sun.

Who could either unintentionally push you to success in this mission or destroy you if he learned of your true identity.

—---------------------

It was your first day off since you arrived at the facility, but you weren’t going to waste it roaming around. You had a number of tasks for today and you couldn’t risk getting caught.

You woke up at the crack of dawn and went out for your usual jog but to meet Seonghwa this time and exchange information. A few days ago you hid a letter behind one of the tires of his truck and you were going to get your answer today. You spotted Seonghwa and said hi.

“I hope you’ve adjusted well,” he asked, not daring to glance around. The people here may not have their eyes everywhere but they sure had ears.

“I’m managing,” you said with a short laugh. “Did you just get back?”

“No, I’m leaving,” Seonghwa said and you nodded slowly. “I think I’ll be on the road for a while this time.”

“I see… have a safe journey, and may the fates be with you,” you said- the farewell greeting of Mist Island. “And may you not have a problem with the tires. That one looks flat.”

“Yeah, I called someone to help me out with that,” Seonghwa scratched the back of his neck tiredly. 

“Well, I’ll be resuming my jog now.”

“Go along, and good luck with whatever the hell you’re doing here,” Seonghwa laughed lightly. “If I get praised to have found you, I’ll assume you’ve succeeded.”

“Of course, I’ll make you proud,” you saluted sarcastically before going back to your jog and analysing the conversation you just had in your head.

You had talked in code- subtle hints on what to do. Seonghwa was going somewhere far but would be travelling through Utopia- the reason he said he’d be on the road for a while. You had pointed out the flat tire where you had sneaked in a note for him a few days earlier. He had answered your question- you were doing good and now you needed to play the cards right- you needed to proceed with the plan.

So later that day, you went to Dr. Takashi and asked him why everyone in the department was analysing Utopia’s code according to maths and logic, rather than language itself.

Dr. Takashi looked at you in confusion. “What exactly are you implying?”

“I’m saying,” you swallowed, pretending to gather your courage- you knew Dr. Takashi rarely bought anyone's bullshit. “Yes, codes are usually connected to maths. It’s some simple formula, some calculation. But what if Utopia’s code is a play on language itself? Utopian language? What if, for instance, this word-” you pointed at what seemed like a random scribble, “-what if this word is a made-up word from different words, or even languages?”

“I understand what you’re implying, but I’m sure someone has already entertained this possibility before you. What makes this time different?”

“If we can crack even one word…” you began. “We could decipher the entire code. We just need to focus on patterns and repetitions and check the similarities with Utopian vocabulary or other languages.”

Dr. Takashi thought for a moment, running a hand through his salt and pepper hair. He looked at you for a few moments and then picked up the phone. You raised a brow in confusion, watching him click 2 for the Strategy Department.

“It’s- it’s just a possibility I was wondering we could entertain- are you gonna fire me?” 

“Relax,” Dr. Takashi chuckled and then cleared his throat when the line connected. “This is Dr. Takashi from Cryptograph. Could I have someone from Strategy? I think we might have something worth checking out.”

This time your surprise was a bit genuine- you hadn’t expected him to immediately ring the Strategy Department. You prayed Yunho would come- you had met another person from that department and he really wasn’t pleasant to be around.

But when Yunho entered, he had a knowing smile. “I knew it had something to do with the newcomer.”

“You’re quick,” Dr. Takashi commented. “You should hear her out.”

“51 percent sure?” Yunho asked and you nodded, the doctor looking between you two, lost. “Go ahead then. Surprise me.”

You showed your own framework and explained how with an approach that targeted repetitions and patterns in the Utopian language and worked on unjumbling it might work better and resultantly, shorten the workload. You explained that the focus should be on lingual patterns instead of mathematical ones. If you manage to crack some part of the code, you could at least make some sense of the whole message.

“That’s actually not such a bad idea. Why hasn't anyone entertained this possibility yet? It’s not a new approach as far as I know,” Yunho asked. 

“A similar approach was suggested by someone a few days earlier, but they weren't sure just how to implement it. Aurora here, however, seems to have built her own code as a set of guidelines. Certainly makes work easier.”

“I wouldn’t call it ‘guidelines’...” you faltered but the two weren’t impressed by your lack of confidence.

“You built this code in how many days exactly?” Yunho asked, grabbing the document and checking it out. 

“One day. 14 hours, to be exact.”

“And this is new? I haven’t seen something like this before, have you, Dr. Takashi?”

“I don’t think so either,” he peeked at the table. “I think you’re not meant to be here, Aurora.”

“What do you mean?” Your heart skipped a beat.

“I mean you should be creating instead of cracking,” Dr. Takashi was clearly impressed, glancing at Yunho as if to dare him to contradict his statement. Yunho, however, remained quiet until he had finished reading the code.

“I think I’ll have the team split into half- one of them can go with this approach while the other continue with their progress. I’ll have you manage that, Dr. Takashi. As for you, Aurora…” he glanced at you, face void of expressions. “Continue entertaining more possibilities- don’t waste time merging with a team unless you’re sure you’re onto something. And this time, I’ll have your ideas that you’re only about 40 percent sure as well.”

You nodded eagerly and he finally smiled. “Good work there.”

“Thank you,” you smiled and Yunho asked Dr. Takashi if he could have a word. You went back to your seat and watched the two talk in hushed voices, glancing at you. You pretended to get back to work, glad that you were the only one who could hear the thumping of your heart.

You’d done it. You had diverted the attention when they came close to actually cracking Utopia’s code. And you might just have landed a seat in the Strategy Department- you were pretty sure the two were discussing it, though you knew the type of person Jeong Yunho was, he would wait a good while and test you a lot more before ever giving you access to the facility’s perhaps most important department.

—-------------------

You stood outside the Medical Department- the largest building in the entire facility, and you sure felt like an outsider in front of the enormous doors. You showed the guard your permit and identification card and he let you in, handing you a pamphlet with a map and requesting that you follow the directions instead of roaming around.

You ignored that. You came to roam around. 

You stood in the hallway, a stretch of white and gold leading to glass doors on either side of you, the one on the left for emergency (ICU) and handling outdoor patients (OPD). Most of the traffic was around there, but-

The Medical Research Department was on your right, a semi-restricted area that you needed to get access to. The one the Captain told you about. Your origin as a spy and your end goal.

The war was going to turn 10 this year. Halaland’s war hadn’t always been with Utopia- in fact, Utopia had once been Halaland’s strongest ally, until some political strife that was unknown even to the most trusted agents of Utopia caused Halaland to ‘unwillingly’ turn their weapons towards Utopia- which happened about 4 years ago. 

The Captain had told you that the strife was born due to some disagreement in Medical Research. Utopia and Halaland had worked very closely there, and now it was your job now to see if it was just a coincidence that none of the Utopians made it back alive after being expelled when the two went against each other.

You wondered if the Captain was right. What could be in Medical Research? Drugs? Did they finally discover how to extend their life? Or some unexplainable discovery no one could ever begin to comprehend the notion of?

You waited until someone started going towards the right, following a middle-aged woman through the hallway until she turned towards a lab, leaving you alone in the corridor. You hid the map in your pocket and walked until you reached the sign with the layout of the building- Level 1 being the ground floor which contained labs for testing the official samples, Level 2 being the experimentation labs, and Level 3 being the restricted section. You knew all this from the information the Captain had gathered from ex-employees of this facility.

You also knew you could get access to Level 3- the restricted section- if you become a part of the strategy team. That wasn’t the end, though. Your priority was the basement that they called Level 0. The one that not even the residents of the Medical Department knew of.

The one that, if still in operation, might have something that could lead Utopia to salvation.

You heard someone come and you pretended to be lost, looking at them for help. It was a man about your age. “Looking for someone?”

“I’m wondering if I should give my blood sample here or in the OPD,” you let your voice shake nervously. 

“Cryptography Department? You must be here for your monthly exam,” he asked and you nodded. “Well, you’ll have to go to the OPD for that, but if you’re already here, I’ll save you the trip, follow me.”

You thanked him, walking a few steps behind him and he asked if you had received the map or instructions before entering. You told him it was your first month here and the guard was too busy eating snacks to provide help. The man shook his head, telling you this wasn’t the first time someone had strayed here.

After giving your blood sample, you walked back to your department slowly, calculating the outcome of each move you could make from here on. There were a number of paths the Captain had sketched for you, but he had trusted you as long as you reached your goal with minimum damage. But no matter what, you had to win Jeong Yunho’s favour and get yourself in his strategy team if you wanted to get to Level 0. 

And maybe it was time you showed Yunho just what you were made of. 

You went straight back to your lab and started working on another code-cracking framework you had been building for the last two days. Once you were done, you analysed it with a few samples of Utopia’s code.

If anyone could actually figure it out (which you were sure no one in this lab would) it could break at least half of Utopia’s code language. For days, you had built everything for this exact moment. With your heart skipping beats to the point you had to sit down and shut your eyes for a few seconds, you got up and walked to your colleague Sam.

“Can I have a moment?”

He looked up, pushing his glasses up and his tousled washed-out hair away. “Sure. What’s the matter?”

You took a seat next to him. “You specialise in the structures of codes, right? I was wondering if this framework makes any sense to you- I thought an external opinion would be good because my brain’s a mess right now and I don’t want to dump this away without being sure.”

“Ah, let me see,” Sam started going through the document and you watched him look unimpressed until you pushed at the Utopian code’s samples you had been working on, which was when he detected the pattern and looked at you in surprise.

“Where did you get this?”

“The framework? I built this-”

“No, the samples,” he began, opening his drawer and pausing to check the date on your copy of samples before rushing through his drawers, creating a mess and then asking Kate to get two copies of the samples from all the dates you had already analysed. You pretended to be nervous but you were actually sweating visibly.

“Is everything… okay?”

“Yeah- yeah, everything is okay,” he nodded, his pitch uneven. “I just need to make sure you have the right samples.”

Kate arrived, looking intrigued and you both watched Sam double-checking everything and even calling the linguist in the room. You kept scratching at the skin around your fingernails until Sam finally took off his glasses and looked at you in disbelief.

“I think you’ve done it, Aurora. We’ve never been closer to cracking the entire code.”

You almost cried out in disbelief, looking around to see the rest with genuine smiles on their faces. Sam told you to follow him to Dr. Takashi’s office where the two of you briefed him on your progress and he immediately pulled the codes that had been intercepted today and let you work on it. You decrypted about 25 percent of the code.

“It makes sense,” Dr. Takashi studied it. “Unless we’re all gaslighting ourselves to believe it does. I think we should still get Strategy to see it- if they can get this to the engineers, they might be able to feed this format into their machines, which would make decryption a matter of mere seconds. We could win this war, Aurora, because you sit holed up in a corner with those stupid gummy bears and your codes, do you understand?”

This time, your tears of happiness were real, though not for the reason they thought.

I can win this war.

“I guess it’s a battle of who falls first- Aurora’s teeth or Utopia.”

“That’s a bad joke, Sam,” you rolled your eyes, laughing. “My teeth are perfectly intact. Gummy bears are harmless.”

“Says who?”

You turned to the familiar voice- Yunho, entering and looking just as surprised to see you. “Don’t tell me you called me because someone has cavities.”

You turned to Dr. Takashi- when did he call him? Or did someone else?

“Those gummy bears might have contributed to the decryption. Take a look at this, Yunho, and tell me what you make of it.”

Yunho looked sceptical as he glanced at you before sitting down. You gulped involuntarily as he analysed the document faster than even Dr. Takashi who was supposedly the expert here. He checked the decrypted sample.

“You broke the code?” He glanced at you.

“A bit of it, it seems?” 

Yunho stared at you as if he had figured you out, scanning every bit of your face and your body language. When he finally got up, you almost sighed in relief. “I’ll get this to the Department. Aurora, follow me please.”

You gathered up the rest of the documents, arranging them as you followed Yunho who looked even taller in his uniform- perhaps he had just returned from the ‘field’. He turned as if he had felt you staring at him and smiled encouragingly, allowing you to fall in step with him.

“So what’s it about the gummy bears?”

“I may have a severe addiction, Sir.”

Yunho grinned at the way you formally put it. “And that addiction may have contributed to this outcome? If so, I might send a request to the government to send funds for… ‘snacks’.”

“Definitely,” you grinned but it fell when you felt another nervous cramp in your stomach. “Can you please tell me what to expect? I might fall down at this rate, I’m very nervous.”

“I’ll catch you if you fall,” Yunho said and your heart lurched at the way he so casually said that. “Well, Strategy is nothing like the Cryptography Department. I’m not saying your bunch is relaxed but everyone is always tense in our department. You’ll see what I mean- just try not to speak unless you’re spoken to, and try to… stick with me.”

You made an impressed face. “Thank you.”

“Thank me later,” Yunho said and you exited the building, the evening sun casting a golden glance and making Yunho’s skin glow beautifully.

“Try not to stare at anyone if you can help it,” Yunho caught you looking and you felt like you could disappear- so much for training to be subtle. Yunho always caught you looking at him and that did nothing but worsen your unnecessary want to keep looking at him.

 “I don’t stare at just anyone! What do you take me for,” you almost mumbled. “You stare more than me.”

“That’s because I’m figuring you out.”

“Who says I’m not looking at you for that reason too?” You countered.

Yunho paused, stifling his smile. “Figuring people out is a part of my job, Aurora.”

Sure is.

“Figuring people out is a part of my personality,” you simply said.

“And would you say you have me figured out? With the amount of times I’ve caught you looking at me, I bet you have…”

“Are you…” you laughed. “Trying to flirt or something? And no I haven’t figured you out, you’re a hard nut to crack.”

The sound of Yunho’s laugh warmed your heart. “That wasn’t my intention, I’m just pointing it out!”

“Sure. Your ears are very red, by the way. You might want to do something about it before we enter your department.”

Yunho shook his head in amusement. “You… you’re really something, Aurora. Before we get in there, I’m offering you something- would you like to be a part of my team?”

You raised a brow. “Just like that?”

“I think I have figured you out enough to be able to make that decision,” he got serious. “Honestly, I almost did this a few days ago when you presented that framework. I found that it made things much easier. I think with your current findings… we’ll definitely have something.”

You considered for a moment, trying to figure out what the glint in his eyes meant. Was he actually impressed? Even if he was, which you supposed everyone was at this point, he definitely had some plans for you. You weren’t sure if you wanted to join his team or someone else’s in Strategy, but goodness, was he a breath of fresh air in this land that suffocated you to the core.

“Can I tell you my answer after we’re done for the day?” You asked and he nodded earnestly, motioning for you to follow him.

The first thing you noticed when you entered the department was the noise. There were people freaking out, to put it simply. Messages exchanged across the room, people rushing around with documents in their hands, superiors barking orders- a stark contrast to the comfortable silence of Cryptography. To reel you in from that mess, Yunho put a hand on your back to guide you across the hallway, leading you to the office upstairs.

“We’re meeting the supervisor. She’ll know what to do with you, and she might offer you something better as well. I know I would too, if I was her.”

“Well, that’s certainly relaxing,” you shivered and he grinned. “Let’s get it over with.”

With a knock, Yunho entered and bowed with you following suit. “This is Aurora from the Strategy Department.”

“Ah, the one you can’t shut up about?” The supervisor said- a very elegant middle-aged woman. You turned to Yunho who was yet again blushing from his ears. “I’m Dr. Angela Choi. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”

“The pleasure’s mine,” you said and took a seat.

“What do we have now?” Dr. Choi asked.

Yunho handed you whatever files he had and urged you to go ahead and explain. You straightened and knowing now was the time you needed to impress the Strategy Department, you fell into explaining the background of your approach first, briefing her about whatever progress you had made up until now.

“That’s certainly one way to look at it- more plausible than what we had so far,” Dr. Choi studied your framework. “I like this. Even if it doesn’t work, the approach you’re taking is fresh. Perhaps because you’re young?” She laughed.

“Come on, you’re not too old yourself,” Yunho laughed along and you could sense they were comfortable with each other. “Aurora, she’s… quick. Intelligent.”

“Yes, I think someone like her shouldn’t be hiding in Cryptography,” Dr. Choi seated back, looking relaxed. “Perhaps she should join our department. Maybe with the computer scientists? They’ve been trying endlessly to make their decryption devices more efficient. They just don’t have the right data to feed in. I’ll hand them this data- it could change the course of this war. You understand that, Aurora?”

“I do, but,” you looked around. “I expected this conversation to be more… tense.”

“I understand. I must seem very laid back, huh?” Dr. Choi smiled. “I haven’t sat in my office in ten days. I was occupied at the field, at the heart of all operations. Strategists have to be able to work well under pressure.”

“Not just the strategists…” you sighed. “It’s just very different here than in Mist Island.”

“Ah, yes, Mist Island. They were losing the war, weren’t they, until they joined us?” She asked and you nodded. “Those who have more to lose, they break under the idea itself. We have a lot to lose too, yes, but we’ve been winning this war for years now. It’s only a matter of time until it ends.”

You were genuinely impressed by her confidence, even though it disgusted you to the core how little they cared about the losing side. Dr. Choi continued. “We’ve created a somewhat relaxed and peaceful environment so our cryptographers, engineers, doctors and nurses don’t feel burdened. We give them deadlines, yes, but we, the strategists, take all of their burden. We don’t want anyone else to break under pressure or we’ll lose. So, how well can you handle pressure, Aurora?”

You looked at Yunho whose smile didn’t quite meet his eyes. You wondered why. “I can handle it well, Doctor.”

“Very well. Consider my offer but if you want to stick to your current department, that’s alright too. Mr. Jeong, if you can escort her back?”

“Yes,” he got up and bowed and you followed him outside, navigating out of the hustle until you exited the department and Yunho exhaled like he could finally breathe. 

“Care for a drink?”

“You must really want me to join your team,” you smiled and he shook his head in amusement. 

“I’m just really thirsty, but I’m also wondering what’s on your mind.”

You accepted and he took you to the cafeteria, taking the window seats. You looked at him. “Halaland must have an ace up their sleeve. I’ve seen what the losing side looks like and this is far from it.”

“Perhaps,” Yunho’s tone was cryptic. “Isn’t it good to be on the winning side?”

“That’s debatable too, but that’s also the reason I’m here,” you told him. No lies there. “What does your team offer?”

“Field work. Assessing the situation and taking steps accordingly. Guiding the cryptographers and the other departments. We make the decisions that could save lives, but our decisions are not always in our favour. And most importantly, in war there’s sacrifice. You understand what I mean, don’t you?”

You nodded, eager. You were so close to your destination now. “I like that, but tell me… do you always scout people like this?”

That took Yunho by surprise and he laughed and you couldn’t help but join. “You’re the first. I’ve never had to practically beg someone to join my team. Usually the higher-ups make that decision for me and I only decide if I want to keep them.”

“You might change your mind later,” you shrugged.

“I won’t know until I work with you though,” he sipped his coffee, scanning you. “So? Do you like Dr. Choi’s offer more?”

“I’ll join your team,” you said and watched how he relaxed a bit. “I don’t want to be holed up with the machines. That’s not my forte.”

“Do you mind me asking… who trained you before you came here?”

Your heart skipped a beat as the face of the Captain flashed behind your eyes. But you had another name to give- another mentor who was just like you, a spy who made his place here. “Dr. Kang who, I believe, is in the Medical Research Department here?”

Yunho raised a brow at that, surprised. “Dr. Kang trained you? He must have trained you for the Strategy Department then. Why begin with Cryptography?”

“He wasn’t sure I could handle it,” you placed your cup on the table. “And he might be right. We’ve all lost something in this war, haven’t we?”

Yunho unconsciously glanced at what was visible of the scar on your arm and you caught that, tugging your sleeve down which took him out of his trance. So he had noticed. He cleared his throat, meeting eyes with you. 

“We all have,” his voice was thick with emotion and you could tell he had lost something- or someone important too. “Well, let’s hope you can show Dr. Kang that you can handle more than he thinks.”

“Do you know Dr. Kang personally?” You asked, actually curious. There was no way-

“Kang Yeosang, right?” Yunho was smiling. “He’s an old friend. He got me here.”

Your heart sank. Yunho was Kang Yeosang’s old friend? Was he also a spy then? But… there was no way you could confirm that. And if he was not a spy for Utopia…

That meant he was more dangerous than you had thought. 

“Wow… what a coincidence,” you exhaled. “Yeah, it’s been a while since I met Dr. Kang. I hope I can see him soon.”

“He’s quite busy these days. Very hard to run into him now,” Yunho finished his coffee. “But tell you what- next time I have business in Medical Research, you may tag along.”

“Sure.”

“Is there a reason you aren’t mentioning that you have medical experience as well?” Yunho asked and you sighed internally- he really was testing you at every point. You wondered why. “I mean… I looked at your resume before making the decision to offer you a spot in my team. But you haven’t told me anything about your previous experiences at all.”

“Does it matter?” You asked. “Everyone in Mist Island was trained to gain some medical experience. I don’t like to go into the details, but the one who found me insisted it be mentioned.”

“Is there a reason behind that? You don’t have to tell me exactly what, I just want to know if you’re okay with medical field work if we’re required to do so in the future.”

“Yes, there is a reason why I don’t like mentioning it,” you told him. “Dr. Kang knows my history. If you trust him… you can trust me, can’t you?”

The way Yunho did not immediately agree told you he must know something- either about you or his old friend. You cleared your throat. “I’m okay with medical field work. I’m not the best but I can certainly assess the situation and act quickly.”

“That’s good enough,” Yunho grabbed his things from the table and you started getting up as well. “I won’t pressure you to do anything you do not want to, so when I offer you an assignment, you don’t have to worry about me firing you if you do not accept it because you’re uncomfortable. I only fire people who are-”

“A burden, a waste of resources, yes, I know the drill,” you finished for him and he grinned, walking with you outside.

“Well then. Pack your stuff, and I’ll see you tomorrow in Room no. 8 of the Strategy Department. Sleep well, Aurora.”

He was about to go but you grabbed his arm lightly and he paused, turning in surprise. “I haven’t thanked you for your kind offer.”

“Thank me later,” he winked and ran off, making you wonder just how you were supposed to thank him ‘later’.

—----------------------

Yunho was nothing like the person you had come to know in the past month when he was working. If you thought you knew him, you were so wrong.

You weren’t sure what surprised you more- the switch of character or the fact that you misjudged him. Perhaps because it was your first time interacting with someone outside of work first. Perhaps you should have expected it-

No. He was different.

He was a natural leader, you were finding. He was respected and possibly even feared by the fresh recruits- your fellows from Cryptography weren’t wrong about him. He took charge of the room, barked orders, maintained punctuality down to the seconds and wanted results. Quick. And anyone who couldn’t deliver was given an earful in private.

He told you he would cut you some slack only on your first day, like he did with everyone. You were no longer ‘Yunho’ and ‘Aurora’. He was ‘Sir’ and you were ‘Miss Han’ which put a strict distance between you. He did not joke around while working at all. You learned that he was right when he said he had to be on his toes, had to make important decisions and choose what to keep and what to sacrifice. 

It had been over a week now- you had shifted your dorms, the current room giving you the view of your former workplace but blocking the sun, which you didn’t mind. It was a bit more luxurious too and gave you better room for optimisation, but you had nothing much here anyway.

The emptier the better.

Yunho was the leader of your team- Team no. 8. He reported to Dr. Choi who reported to the Head of the Department. The decision-making usually fell to the higher-ups and the team leaders, and the working dynamics were good. You wondered if that was the reason Halaland was winning.

You wondered how Utopia was handling things- you missed home. You missed the smell of citrus in the air, back before the smell of smoke and blood became a norm. You missed the constantly cloudy but blue sky before it took on an eternal darkness- you were beginning to hate the sun here. 

You missed your family who were no longer here, gone together in the dead of night, leaving you forlorn in this world. You missed the new family you had found among the Crescents- even though they insisted attachment would do you no good, the Captain himself had been like a big brother to you. Perhaps because all of you had bonded over mutual loss that you found yourselves unable to not depend on each other, not find comfort in each other. They were home, no matter where you went after that. 

You didn’t realise how long you had been standing at the end of the corridor where the dorms were, at the only window in the building that faced west towards Utopia, scratching at the scar on your arm until you felt gentle fingers lace through your hand and place them softly on the window sill. 

Again, you were surprised for many reasons as you looked up at the man who was always there when you least expected him, whose footsteps were so silent yet presence so filling, whose gaze was so warm even when he put distance between you. He stood next to you, his hands right next to yours as he looked outside.

“I’m curious what part of this view exactly is so captivating that you’ve been standing motionless for so long,” he commented, peeking out with an unimpressed face. “All I see is barren land and a boring sky.”

“That’s exactly what I needed,” you said, glad your voice didn’t crack, glancing at what you had done- you never let the scar heal. You were always picking at the long gash somewhere. A reminder, you told yourself, though you didn’t need to hurt yourself to be reminded. It already hurt enough. “I didn’t want to be distracted by a pretty view.”

“Makes sense,” he turned towards you, glancing at the bleeding scar again. “Does that hurt?”

You didn’t expect him to inquire directly about the topic you both had danced around since you met. “Not really.”

“Doesn’t look like it,” he tsk-ed. “Do you have a first-aid kit in your room?”

“No?”

“You should have,” he looked disappointed. “I’ll ask someone to give you one. If you’re going to the field, you should definitely have a kit with you at all times.”

“But I’m not… or am I?” You narrowed your eyes and he stifled a smile. 

“I thought I’d ask you how your first week had been before offering you to join me,” he put his hands in the pockets of his black slacks. “Was it too much?”

“Not at all,” you glanced down again- it was starting to sting a little especially with the blood wanting to trail down-

“This won’t do,” Yunho sighed. “Come with me.”

“Where?”

“Just… stop questioning me for once and come with me,” he said and you thought you heard the tiniest bit of frustration in his voice so you followed him to the other end of the hall and realised he might be taking you to the men’s dorm. He unlocked the door to his room and you immediately felt like you were being hugged by him- the clean, almost aquatic scent of whatever product he used filled the room.

It was nice.

Yunho motioned to the couch and you glanced around before taking a seat- it looked as empty as your room, the only sign of living some clothes hanging around or food in the kitchen from where Yunho got his kit and came to sit beside you.

“I can do this-” 

“Let me,” he insisted, looking at you for permission and when you nodded, he took your arm and examined it, drawing your sleeve up hesitantly until it was above the elbow. He dipped some cotton in alcohol and cleaned it, the sting drawing your focus and when you winced, Yunho shook his head.

“You should stop picking at your scar if you want to work in the field,” he began, his voice low and thick now that he was so close. “It would be a shame if it got infected. I want my members in top condition, you understand?”

“Yes, Sir,” you answered and he grinned.

“I told you, it’s just Yunho for you- when we’re not working,” he insisted and you nodded. “You can ask me now. I can see you have questions.”

“What exactly will we be doing?”

“I cannot tell you until we’re on the mission,” he finished cleaning. “But we might have to travel a bit and transfer confidential data.”

“I guess I’ll join? I have nothing better to do.”

“Ay, are you saying your time at the department is a waste?”

“I mean- yeah, I could keep working but this would be better-”

Yunho laughed, wrapping a bandage around your arm and you pouted when you realised he was back to being the goofy senior you had come to know in your duration here. “I know what you mean, you don’t have to explain yourself. You’ll learn a lot from the field but you should know that everything we see, everything we observe is strictly confidential. You understand that, don’t you?”

“I do, and that’s why I am working here,” you told him and he liked your answer.

“There,” he tied the bandage. “I don’t want to see you picking at your scar again. If you feel like doing that again… come find me and I’ll distract you, okay?”

“Come find me,” you quoted back with a scoff, surprising him. “When you’re the busiest person I know? I thought you were friendly with me just to get me on your team, and then suddenly there’s this distance between us and you’re ‘Sir’ and I’m ‘Miss Han’ and you keep ordering me around and pushing me-”

You stopped when you saw how he was smiling, head resting on his hand, elbow propped on his leg. “What?”

“Carry on,” he urged. “I’m enjoying this.”

“I’m not,” you sighed, your heart suddenly aching at the sight of him- you were getting really annoyed at the way he made you ramble and had you expecting more when in fact, you should be anywhere but here-

“Just say that you missed me, Aurora.”

“As if,” you scoffed. “Thank you for the help. I’m going,” you said and got up but he grabbed your wrist, making you sit right back and you gaped at him as he failed to hold his smile, the smile that changed his entire face and made his eyes curve-

“Well, I definitely missed this,” he said but his eyes changed as he locked them with yours. “You can find me anytime you want. If it’s too much, if anything’s bothering you, you can find me, okay? I won’t let you down.”

You raised a brow. “Do you offer this to everyone?”

“Maybe? Some of it?” He wondered out loud, indicating he might not have offered this to anyone at all, for that matter. “My point is… I know we all have scars, Aurora. Not all are physical. The physical scars? They hurt more here, don’t they?” He pointed at his heart. “You’re… a part of my team now. I want your wits gathered. I want you relaxed because you’ve seen how tense the rest of my team is. I think I can depend on you if you can depend on me- and when we go on this mission, I’d be glad if I’m right about this.”

“Just say that you missed me too,” you laughed and he joined, realising he was still holding your wrist, letting it go gently. “Okay. I’ll try to find you next time.”

“Good,” he nodded, satisfied. “...good.”

You realised he was spacing out as his eyes travelled all across your face. You stared right back- at his kind eyes, at his incredibly charming face, at the way his hair fell on his forehead and when his eyes met yours, he held your stare for a moment too long before clearing his throat.

“Well, I’ll brief you tomorrow about the mission so you still have time if you want to change your mind. Think it over tonight, okay?”

“Okay,” you finally got up, straightening your clothes. “Thank you… for everything.”

Yunho smiled at that and you left for your room, staring at the bandage until you fell asleep.

—---------------------

It was two days later that you found yourself on the road with Yunho, travelling in a military car escorted by soldiers. You two were the only ones facing each other in the backseats but Yunho was currently busy going through some documents and you recalled the conversation you just had with him in the office.

Your colleague Hani, who had field experience, had briefed you about the clauses in your contract- what to do in case you found yourself in a compromising situation or if your life was being threatened in exchange for information. You had a strict non-disclosure agreement already signed, but this was a fresh reminder that anything could go wrong. 

And that your life had little to no value so you shouldn’t bother saving yourself by exchanging information. It was like this everywhere, but since it was the enemy you were now working for, you hated the idea of even getting a scratch for them, though the Captain had told you that you would be put in such a situation eventually. Today, you were going to play your part in a rehearsed skit. And today was all about your acting skills.

You touched the locket around your neck that Yunho had given you before leaving. He caught you tugging at it and you put it inside your uniform- all black with red details like Yunho’s. He cleared his throat. “Nervous?”

“A bit, but I’m fine,” you admitted. He was probably inquiring because the locket was your death sentence- a cyanide pill you could use only if all else failed. You recalled the moment when he had secured it around your neck himself and then put his hands on your shoulders, making you lock eyes with him.

“I’ll pray you never have to resort to a situation where you have to use this,” Yunho’s voice was firm. “If you’re in pain, you live through it. Think about your family, your friends, or whoever you’re fighting for. You make it back alive no matter how hard it is, you hear me?”

“Yes, sir.”

“But,” and this time, his voice was steel and gaze so harsh that you wondered if this was the same person who told you he could ask the government to provide funds for your gummy bear addiction. “If you think of betraying your team and someone loses their life because of you? I’d rather you have eaten the pill.”

Your heart sank dangerously and you recalled when the Captain had held you just like this and told you what fate you would meet if you ever betrayed them. You nodded firmly, once. “Of course.”

Immediately, his gaze softened and he patted your arm as he let go. “I know how hard it is to make a decision, especially when they have something on you. But the enemy, no matter how appealing their offer is, you do not give in, okay? If the pain really is too much to handle… I wish you’d live through it instead of opting for this solution.”

“I understand,” you nodded, pursing your lips. “I really do.”

Now, in the car with Yunho who scanned your face as if trying to figure out just what was going through your head, you decided to ask him. “What if we lose each other in the middle of the mission?”

“Glad you asked,” he sighed. “I’ll show you the points where we can gather as soon as we’re entering the town.

And when you did, he sat next to you, pointing at 5 random points that were chosen for today’s mission. He told you their strategy was to always have new points to gather at during every mission so nobody could snitch on them. When you finally reached Sector 1, Yunho made sure your bulletproof vest was secured under your uniform and you had no bugs on you- ‘protocol’, he called it, though you made sure he saw you scowl. You stopped at an old hospital that was now abandoned and got off, the harsh sun making you flinch and immediately wear your shades.

“This hospital used to be the heart of this town, before a bomb struck here,” Yunho told you and you nodded- you recalled that. It was a few years ago when Neverland managed to strike here and you always wondered how someone could be heartless enough to target a hospital.

It made sense later- Neverland, now Utopia’s ally but earlier the enemy, probably also got a whiff of whatever the hell was going on with Halaland’s Medical Research Departments. Innocent lives were lost but you hoped at least something had come out of it.

“I always wondered why anyone would target hospitals,” Yunho said out loud as if he had read your mind.

You cleared your throat. “Halaland targeted hospitals first. I hope you haven’t forgotten your history… Sir.”

Yunho glanced at you, eyes unreadable behind the shades. “Of course I remember. That’s why I said ‘anyone’. What do you think? Why would someone target the hospitals?”

A test, perhaps. You pretended to think. “Doctors… They’re the backbone of any war, and perhaps the most precious asset especially in war.”

Yunho nodded, satisfied. “It’s a low move. I don’t support that, but like I said, sometimes when you strategise, sacrifices must be made.”

“And what came out of sacrificing doctors?”

“That’s not for just anyone to know,” Yunho pointed to the backdoor and you followed him.

“So am I ‘just anyone’?” 

“As am I,” he sighed. “I’ve only heard something did come out of it, and something valuable was lost when this hospital was targeted. Pretty sure they weren’t talking about the doctors or the patients.”

You wondered if he really did not know or was pretending. You spotted a shadow behind the door and Yunho confirmed it was the man you were supposed to meet. He led you inside and the man met both your eyes before handing Yunho an envelope- the contents inside you referred to as ‘the key’. He turned to you and you handed him your key. With a nod, you parted ways and exited the hospital.

“That’s about it,” Yunho exhaled in relief. “A simple exchange of information. No words spoken. The information is not for our eyes nor can we interpret it. We’re only couriers.”

“So was that man a spy then?” You asked. “Do you receive information from other lands?”

“I don’t know who that is,” Yunho admitted and you believed him. “But I reckon he must be. You wouldn’t make such a fuss for a local.”

You started driving back, pretending to be relieved that the mission was over when in fact, you were counting the minutes.

And then it happened- you heard the sound of a gunshot and you flinched even when you saw it coming. The soldier escorting you spoke in the radio to make sure everything was clear, but-

“We have a tail, Sir- 2 SUVs. We’re waiting for your orders.”

You looked at Yunho who dared to peek outside before calling in his radio, “Turn west. We’re taking Route no. 3. Provide cover-”

Another gunshot and this time you had to cover your ears and crouch down out of instinct as the windshield shattered. Yunho’s eyes were wide with horror as he took in the sight of the shot driver, the soldier frantically trying to steer the car while putting one hand on the wound on the driver’s chest. You straightened and looked at Yunho.

“I can either drive or provide medical attention- or fight back. What do you want me to do, Sir?”

“How good is your aim?”

You let the faintest hint of a smirk grow on your lips. “Good enough, Sir.”

With that, you dragged the driver’s body to the backseat with the soldier’s help who immediately put pressure on the wound and checked the pulse. Yunho crawled to the driving seat and you borrowed the soldier’s rifle and examined the situation- one of your escort cars was down and you only had one at your front and on your right now. 

So you waited until you sighted the tail- a black SUV. You aimed for the tires and shot once, twice, hitting the mark on your second shot which gave the escort car behind you a chance to shoot at the passengers. You broke the rest of the windshield with the butt of your rifle to clear your view, surprising Yunho, and sat on the frame to take another shot, managing to break their windshield this time. They fell back and the escort cars provided cover. The soldier honked and the three of your cars picked speed, the one behind you shooting aggressively. It seemed to have worked and you lost your tail, managing to follow the designated route.

You slid back to your seat, turning to check if you could assist in any way but it was too late- the soldier looked grim as he met eyes with you.

“He was gone within a minute.”

You bit your lips, wondering if you could have saved him had you not been selfish and hesitant about practising medical attention on people anymore. You glanced at Yunho who was clenching his jaw. With a sigh, you rested on the seat as you calmed yourself down from the adrenaline and braced yourself for whatever was about to happen next.

The drive was pretty much silent until you reached the Research Centre, a medical team ready to take the people who lost their lives in the mission. You learned that two other soldiers had died. After paying your respects, you escorted Yunho to your department where the supervisor, Dr. Choi was waiting.

“I heard it went well,” she said and you raised a brow, glancing at Yunho who appeared tense.

“We lost three soldiers today.”

“But you have the key?” She asked, referring to what you had received from the supposed-spy.

Yunho didn’t say anything, just handed the key to the doctor and she didn’t open it. She looked at you. “Report.”

You swallowed. “We had no tail until after we left the hospital. About 800 metres on Route no.1, we received the tip from Escort Car no. 3 about the tail. As soon as Mr. Jeong ordered us to embark on Route no. 3, our driver was shot and we had to improvise. The soldier with us went on to provide medical attention to him while Mr. Jeong drove and I attacked. I managed to puncture their tire and shoot through their windshield which Escort Car no. 2 informed us, helped eliminate one of the 5 passengers in the black SUV without a plate. That’s when we lost them and continued our return.”

“I see. Anything you’d like to add to that, Mr. Jeong?” 

“I’ll let you make the conclusion,” Yunho answered, looking like he could kill her. “I don’t know if it’s my position to say this but maybe you should take a look at who’s friend and who’s foe again. No one other than me knew our meeting point. Me and the person we were meeting.”

Dr. Choi shifted in her seat, looking amused. “You’re telling me that I should look into that person and you?”

Yunho shrugged. “I think you know exactly what I meant.”

You poked your tongue in your cheek as you looked back and forth between them. They were practically having a stare down and Dr. Choi finally nodded slowly. Yunho said he would take his leave now, leaving you alone with the supervisor who simply smiled.

“He gets like this when a mission doesn’t go smoothly.”

“I see,” you nodded slowly. So it had happened before. “Anything I should do, Dr. Choi?”

“Let’s see,” Dr. Choi opened the envelope and skimmed through the contents. “Not for now, no. You can take the rest of the day off. You did well.”

—-----------------------

Though your mission today had gone exactly the way you had wanted to- a successful exchange of information followed by an attack, staged by the Crescents just so you could prove you were indeed someone who could be trusted- a test, you realised now, from the Crescents as well- you still felt unsatisfied for a number of reasons.

Firstly, you had not expected the driver of your own car to get shot. You could very well have been hurt as well. You still felt guilty about not caring enough to provide medical assistance- the soldier, you were sure, only knew the basics. You could have saved him. You felt partially responsible for that loss.

You were also worried about just who in Crescents lost their lives in the mission today. You prayed it was no one you knew, but the thought that they were risking their lives like this upset you even when you had seen them go to more dangerous missions and not return. Now that you were a part of this, it stung more.

And then there was Yunho. His reaction to the dead soldier didn’t surprise you- you knew now that he was a compassionate soul no matter how stern and cold he might seem at times. But it was his behaviour with Dr. Choi that surprised you more- was it her nonchalance towards the lives lost that put him off or was it something else?

You had roamed around after getting the day off when it was already almost time for dinner. You met your teammates from Cryptography and checked their progress and they had a good laugh over how far you had come and if you’d last any longer. However, when you headed to your room, you spotted Yunho standing by the window you had met a few days earlier. Your heart tugged at the sight and you considered ignoring him and heading to your room but you wanted to know what was going through his mind right now.

You wanted to figure him out so bad that it was driving you a little crazy, and that was not good. Not in this field.

Cautiously, you walked to him and though he sensed you coming, he didn’t move until you stood next to him, hands on the sill right beside his, so near they could touch. You looked at the view.

“Not a very captivating view, is it?”

A trace of a smile danced on his lips though he maintained his composure. You stifled a sigh and dared to look at him- he looked so very tired and you wondered if he was exhausted due to the events of today or just tired of wearing his mask. Whatever it was, this was the first time you saw such emotions in his eyes.

“I know you offered to me that I could come find you whenever I felt like picking at my scar again,” you began, ignoring your subconscious that sounded a lot like the Captain cursing at you. “I thought I’d offer you the same. I should have offered it that day, but…”

“Thank you, Miss Han, but-”

“That’s Aurora for you-”

“-I’m not picking at my scars-”

“Scars of the heart,” you reminded him before he could tell you to bug off. He looked at you, hair a mess and over his eyes, still in his uniform with quite a few buttons undone and wondering just what your deal was. You gave him a tight-lipped smile. “Have you had dinner yet?”

When he didn’t respond, you tsk-ed. “Do you want to have some ramen? I’ve heard I make killer ramen.”

Yunho finally gave in and scoffed, urging you to lead the way, following you to your room and you almost shut the door behind you when you realised he was still waiting outside.

“Aren’t you coming in?”

“I thought you were going to take the ramen or whatever to the dining hall?”

“Just… come in. I have better snacks,” you told him.

He shook his head. “Of course you do.”

You asked him to make himself comfortable while you went into the kitchen and started cooking. Yunho took that as a sign to roam around in your space- empty walls just like his, the only sign of life the clothes on one chair-

And the unholy amount of the unhealthiest snacks he had ever seen lining the kitchen shelves. He sat on the two-seater table next to the kitchen, watching you cook. “Do you even eat normal food?”

You glared at him, not bothering to respond, focusing on the ramen while he rested his chin on his hand as he watched you until you settled down, scooping some ramen for him and cracking open two beers. You clicked your drinks and ate in silence. He was probably still sorting his thoughts, you reckoned. 

It wasn’t until he was finished, drinking his second can of beer that he finally exhaled deeply. You didn’t push, just relaxed back as you swirled your can lazily.

“Thank you for the meal, Aurora. It’s very kind of you.”

“You sound way too formal, Yunho,” you sighed.

“And you sound like me, I’m realising,” he put his head in his hands as he laughed a little. “I must have sounded like this that day, huh?”

“Now you know,” you teased.

He sighed again. “I don’t know what went wrong today. It’s happened before and I’m not even surprised,” he admitted and you nodded. “I’m just… I should have known that no one would give two shits about the lives lost today. All they care about is getting their hands on whatever information can cause the most destruction.”

“‘In war there is sacrifice’,” you quoted him and he lifted his head to look at you.

“I know. But I’m human too.”

“I understand,” you said and he wasn’t surprised at your grim tone.

There were a few moments of silence as you both sorted your thoughts out. “It’s not your fault, about the driver. You couldn’t have saved him even if you wanted to- not with that wound.”

You looked at him- how could he know just what you were feeling when he himself was a mess?

“Neither was it your fault about the events of today,” you countered. “We’re simply couriers. It’s the higher-ups who gave us the orders, knowing the risks. They should feel responsible about the loss.”

“They never do,” Yunho clenched his eyes shut as if a memory pained him. You let him have a moment and he opened his eyes, locking them with yours.

“Listen, Aurora. What happened today should not have happened, but this was your first mission. I’m proud of how you handled it.”

Your heart sank in guilt but you nodded. “Thank you.”

“I do want to keep you as my teammate, but… it’s only getting uglier as the days pass. The higher-ups have stopped caring about the lives lost as long as they get what they want. If you do not want to do this at any point, you let me know, okay? I don’t want to take you to a mission and risk losing you because you didn’t have a clear head.”

“Why can’t you do the same?” You dared to ask and he looked confused. “You could stop going to these missions too. Clearly this has happened before, and you look distraught. You could hang back too, Yunho-”

“I can’t-”

“I’m sure there are other teams that could go-”

“I really can’t,” Yunho locked eyes with you and you paused. 

He can’t? 

“Why?” You asked and when he remained silent, you knew then.

You knew that he was bound. Just like you, or maybe worse. You were bound to the Crescents and even though they had good intentions, they had promised you hell if you backed off anytime during your stay here. But what was holding Yunho back?

“Then don’t bury it in,” you countered. “I don’t want to go on another mission with you if you don't have a clear head.”

“Look at you ordering me around, Aurora.”

You matched his glare and he ended up looking down, his smile widening. You shared a chuckle as well. “I’m just looking out for myself, Sir.”

“There you go,” he scoffed in amusement. You stared at him for a few moments before you got up and started clearing the table, coming back to pick the cans but Yunho caught your wrist, folding your sleeve up to examine your scar that was still healing from all the scratching you had done before Yunho had bandaged it for you two days ago.

“This better be healed by the end of the week,” he muttered, tracing the skin near the scar from the elbow all the way down. 

“This will heal on its own,” you said. “But how do we heal the scars of our heart, Yunho?”

“I wouldn’t know that,” he barely whispered and it was the most broken you had heard him, or anyone, sound. Your heart ached deeply and with your free, now trembling hand, you touched the side of his face lightly as if to tell him that you didn’t either. That you understood it all too well. He kept staring up at you, his grip on your wrist loosening and you brought that hand up as well as you held his face, taking your time as you caressed the strands of his hair away from his face. You were positive your loud heart could be heard for miles but you didn’t care, not at that moment. 

When you were done shifting some of his hair away from his forehead, you leaned down and kissed his forehead, the first time you had kissed someone in years, the first kiss of affection after the tragic event that took your family’s life. Yunho sighed deeply and when you drew back, you rested your forehead on the top of his head for a moment.

“I know something is eating you up and making you do things you do not want to, but,” you drew back, locking eyes with him. “I want you to know that I’m with you, beside you, wherever you go from here. You’re not alone, Yunho. Don’t lose yourself. You can get through this and I’m here for you whenever you need me, understand?”

There was wonder in his eyes. Wonder and an incredible sadness. He nodded slowly and you smiled slightly, patting his cheek before turning away and picking the cans up, going to throw them in the trash can. Yunho got up, straightening his clothes.

“I- I should get back now.”

You raised a brow at the stutter and noticed his flushed cheeks and ears. “Sure. See you tomorrow.”

Yunho nodded, unmoving for a good few moments before he awkwardly turned to go and almost reached the door when he turned again.

“I might be asking too much but can I have a pack of your gummy bears? I feel like I’ll need them tonight.”

The laugh that left you came from somewhere so deeply buried that even Yunho couldn’t help but join, smiling widely at the sound that filled the room. You nodded and brought him a packet, still recovering.

“You can stop now, you know,” he said, embarrassed.

“I just,” you sighed, chuckling again. “It was so out of the blue, it caught me off guard. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t look sorry, Aurora,” he countered and you laughed a bit harder, putting a hand over your mouth as you waved at him to leave already. He thanked you before leaving, saying he wouldn’t want a madman on his team and you went to your room, your laugh fading with each passing moment until it turned into an unknown feeling so overwhelming that you sat down on the floor, burying your head between your arms and crying silent tears.

—-----------------------

Something between you and Yunho had shifted ever since that night.

You were still Mr. Jeong and Miss Han during work hours, and he was still the same strict boss of your team, however, he had a hint of affection in his eyes whenever he looked at you. Maybe it was from the shared experience from that mission. Maybe it was the way you now knew you had secrets that you kept from each other, only allowing the other to know there was, in fact, something. Maybe it was something about that night when you shared a moment of vulnerability. 

You didn’t know what exactly it was, but it was messing you up and that was not good. You remind yourself every night that you are a Crescent. You answer to the Captain. You’re on a mission, and your goal is to uncover what’s going on in the Medical Research Department through any means necessary.

Involving yourself with Yunho is only a risk, and yet… you couldn’t help but be selfish. You could justify it as a means to get to Medical Research as much as you wanted, but you knew deep down that there was another factor and you could not dismiss it. It didn’t matter, you supposed, as long as nothing was done about it, but Yunho’s words rang in your ears:

“But I’m human too.”

Those words tangled around you like a spider’s web that you couldn’t shake off. They haunted you at night when you tried to sleep. And they were following you like a shadow right now, on your way to meet Seonghwa in the darkest hour of the night, this time in the Cryptography Department’s cafeteria where you could always come up with the excuse of ‘missing the food’ if someone spotted you. 

You sat at the far end of the room, waiting for Seonghwa to come as you opened a pack of gummy bears, already plagued by the memory of Yunho- you seemed to be associating a lot with him these days. Seonghwa entered, silent as a pin and settled across from you.

“I hope you’ve been doing well,” he asked.

“Thriving, really,” you muttered and he raised a brow at that attitude. You cleared your throat.

“All well at home?” You dared to ask.

“Seems so,” he was chewing gum rather loudly. “All well at yours?”

“Seems so.”

“How long till you can get to your goal?”

“If you don’t push some strings, maybe a while,” you thought out loud.

“We don’t have the luxury of time anymore, Aurora.”

You paused. Something had happened. “Then push some strings.”

He glared at you for a few moments before sighing. “Prepare yourself. You’ll be meeting your mentor soon.”

“Got it,” you got up, ready to leave.

“And Aurora?” He called.

“Yeah?”

“Keep your distance from the enemy, will you?”

For a moment, you wanted to scratch at his face and ask him who, exactly, was the enemy here. It was the same in Utopia, the same here- the higher-ups not caring for the lives lost as long as they could get something out of it. And what were they doing to contribute to the war other than add more fuel to the flame? You were starting to question who exactly you were working for. Of course, you were ultimately doing this for Utopia, but you wanted to gut the people who sent you here too. Not the Captain, no- he only trained you. The ones who controlled him, and the ones who controlled them. 

The Captain- he only dared to question them once, and you remember seeing him at his lowest then when they took away something precious from him. You didn’t know what- you didn’t need to either. You could see it- everyone could. And it was the same here, with Yunho. He was just a puppet in this horrible, horrible game.

“I am,” you practically spat, knowing he must have spotted you hanging around with Yunho casually. “And you remember who the enemy is, will you?”

With that, you left the department, feeling like you were being choked and when you entered your department you paused-

Was someone following you?

You turned but there wasn’t a soul in sight. You didn’t dismiss it as just a feeling though. You could never be too careful around here. 

Someone had seen you come from the Cryptography Department, which meant you were being watched. You scoffed to yourself as you went inside your room and resisted the urge to peek out of your window. 

No more meetings with Seonghwa. You were on your own now.

—-------------------------

Things were getting tense at the department, to put it simply.

You were starting to wonder if it was simply because of the information you and Yunho had received that day which was somehow important enough to shift the power balance of the war, or if it was because Yunho had dared to question the higher-ups on their lack of regard for the sacrifices in this war.

You were positive it was the latter- especially with the way Yunho was starting to look so weary. Your seniors were also being harsher on your team, going as far as to cut down on your break hours. Yunho kept looking apologetic which made your suspicions stronger. Nothing seemed to cheer him up anymore.

You were staring at him from across the room, ignoring the pile of documents in front of you as you binged on your usual choice of snack, wondering if you should go ahead and ask just what was going on when a knock sounded and Dr. Choi entered, looking grim.

“Prepare for a group mission- we have to retrieve a person now, so make sure you gear up properly- 2 of you on the field while 3 of you stay back and monitor.”

Yunho looked as confused as the rest and when he got up to ask, Dr. Choi raised her hand. “I just got notified moments ago. Apparently they’re not pleased with what happened on your last mission, though I hardly believe that’s the reason. Just… get it over with and then we’ll speak.”

“Not pleased with what happened on our last mission,” Yunho repeated with a scoff. “All we did was follow orders and stick to protocol.”

You could see the slightest hint of pity in the doctor’s eyes before she sighed. “I know. I’m only obeying orders here too. You’ll be briefed on your way there. You have 20 minutes.”

With that, Dr. Choi exited and Yunho met your eyes. You pursed your lips, shrugging. It seemed like you had no choice. Stuffing the unfinished gummy bears in your pocket, you stood and went to him.

“You and me on the field. Who else are we taking?”

Yunho hesitated for a moment. “I’d rather you stick back as the monitor this time.”

You slumped, bored. “You know I can fight, Sir. Come on, make a decision.”

“I-” he hesitated again and your heart ached as he looked down. You wished you could ask him what the matter was. “I don’t want to see any of you get hurt if things go south.”

“Dr. Choi said two on the field, Yunho, in case you were thinking of going alone this time.”

Yunho raised a brow at the way you called his name and how you knew exactly what he was thinking. He gave in, nodding. “Fine, but you only cover me, okay? No offence.”

“Can’t promise, but okay,” you shrugged and he shook his head, getting up and calling Hani, Jongho and Chris- his most skilled. “You remember the drill, right?”

“Definitely,” Jongho grinned and Yunho seemed to relax a bit after seeing his teammates in better spirits than himself. He set the timer and all of you disappeared in the locker room, getting dressed in the uniform with bulletproof vests underneath. You checked your guns and were about to leave when a knock sounded on the door. You opened it expecting Hani but were surprised to see Yunho instead. 

“Done?” He asked and you nodded. “Can I come inside?”

Your heart sank and you gave him some space to enter in the relatively tiny room. Yunho wasted no time, digging into his pocket and producing a bunch of bullets and placing them in your palm. “This could get me fired or worse, but I need you to take these in case things don��t look good. Hide them on yourself.”

You raised a brow, counting them- 5. “This isn’t official,” you said and he nodded. “And what makes you think I won’t snitch right now?”

The way Yunho simply smiled- almost smirked- told you that there was a reason he needed you on his team. “You can go ahead and do that if you want to.”

Something unspoken passed between you two as you stared at each other and you finally hid the bullets in your inside pocket, making him roll his eyes in amusement before he left. For extra measure, you stocked more on the daggers before following him outside.

You learned on your way that one of the doctors from Medical Research had gone missing a few days ago and was reported to have been sighted in the west in a cabin near the enemy lines. You suspected it was the Crescents again, and to confirm your suspicions you spotted Seonghwa on your way out who saluted mockingly when he met your eyes. You had not expected it to be this soon after your previous mission and you wondered if something had truly gone wrong this time.

During the half an hour drive after which you were to travel on foot, Hani set up the radios and Jongho and Chris prepared to defend the rest in case they were attacked. This time, there were no escorts, no military cars, no soldiers- nothing that would alert the enemy. After reaching the end of the road, you and Yunho stepped out and Hani checked your equipment once again.

“If I lose your signal, I’ll assume you’re in trouble and wait exactly 2 minutes before I send one of them to inspect,” Hani said and Yunho nodded in approval. “If you lose our signal, you should proceed with the mission and come back when you’re done- if we’re under attack, you’ll know- I’ll fire a signal. In that case…”

“In that case, we’ll abort the mission,” Yunho said and Hani shook her head.

“Dr. Choi specifically asked us to retrieve the doctor at all costs. You do know what they mean by that, don’t you?”

“I don’t care what she said,” Yunho countered. “I don’t think we can make it back if you all are under attack anyway.”

Hani pursed her lips, looking at you for help. “Knock some sense into him, will you, Aurora?”

You shrugged. “If you’re under attack, I can come and help. You, Sir, can carry on with your mission- or we could switch these roles.”

Yunho sighed in disbelief. “I can’t believe I’m the one being reminded of protocol.”

Hani grinned. “We all have our times, Yunho. Now get your ass on the field, both of you. I’m starting the clock.”

You whistled at the friendly banter. Yunho checked on his weapons one last time before motioning for you to follow him and you took a moment to run your eyes over the expanse- all dead trees and barren ground. If you squinted, you could see the faint silhouette of the marked border between Utopia and Halaland, with armed officials prowling in the area.

“Aurora?”

Home. So near yet so far away.

“You coming?” Yunho asked and you realised you were still staring in the direction of your homeland. You jogged to him, matching his pace when you fell in step with him, peeking at the map in his hands.

“Are you sure you have a clear head right now, Aurora?” Yunho asked.

“Yeah, sure, I was just… admiring the scenery.”

“Admiring the scenery?” Yunho scoffed, craning his neck to see just what about the scenery was so interesting.

“I was wondering,” you changed the topic. “Why send us to the field to retrieve a doctor? Why not the soldiers?”

“Aren’t we all soldiers, fighting for something?” Yunho mused and you narrowed your eyes at him. “Okay, they usually don’t send the soldiers so the other departments don’t get a whiff of what’s going on in Medical Research.”

“What exactly is going on there?” You asked, finding Yunho with a strange, knowing expression on his face. You gulped. “I’m assuming you know if they sent you?”

“I don’t know either,” he sighed deeply. “I just know there is something. I’ve heard it could help with winning the war. Only the higher-ups know. I’m nobody.”

“Well… that certainly sounds suspicious, but then again, there’s always some secret in every department, I suppose,” you let out a short laugh and he agreed. “So they’re afraid the doctor might snitch? Will they even let him live if we manage to get him back?”

“That is… a very good question. We might be taking him to death’s door if we retrieve him,” he clicked disappointingly. “But we don’t know anything, so we can’t assume and make these decisions. I think the Strategy Department, us, we’re trusted enough to retrieve him. We have the skills, and who would we snitch to anyway? Pretty sure they’d know if there was a spy among us.”

You shrugged and Yunho pointed in the distance, spotting a couple of cabins bordering the town. “That’s our destination. You ready?”

You nodded and walked in silence the rest of the way. When you reached the first cabin, you were about to go around the structure to inspect when Yunho grabbed your wrist.

“You’re only covering, remember?” 

“That’s not how this works-”

“That’s an order,” he insisted, looking slightly amused that only confused you further and you rolled your eyes, snatching your wrist away with a pout that he chuckled at before taking the lead.

With guns out, you went around the first cabin and then inside, finding no signs of life. The second cabin was just as empty and you were inside it now, watching the third from the window when you spotted movement.

“Uh, Sir?” You called and he turned around. “I’m spotting movement in that cabin.”

Yunho urged you to follow him, asking you to go around and stand by the window so the target couldn’t escape- if it was indeed the target. You signalled your team about the cabin. Yunho motioned at you that he was going inside and you provided cover as he unlocked the door-

“No-”

You turned at the strangle of a voice that left Yunho who ran towards the man- the target- who had just swallowed something you were assuming must be a pill, and before you could help them or react, you spotted someone else in the next room and pointed your gun at them.

“Drop your weapons, right now-”

You paused when recognition flashed across the man’s face and your heart sank dangerously. Before you could signal one or the other, the man moved his aim from you to Yunho and prepared to shoot.

Maybe it was instinct or something else that possessed you to take the bullet for Yunho, you mused, as you wondered why the person you had once called friend and had trained with- spared you. Out of familiarity? Out of regard? 

Burning pain overwhelmed every other sense in your body as the bullet lodged into your arm and Yunho was quick to shoot at the man, missing by an inch but probably grazing his leg given how he seethed before hiding. You clenched your eyes shut and opened them, forcing the cloud of pain away. “Save the target, I got him-” 

“No, you’re hurt-”

“I said, save the target.”

Yunho frowned at your tone and you didn’t give him another option as you loaded your gun and started for the room the man had hid himself in- he was at a dead end- this room had no window or other means of exit. You spotted him standing in the corner, gun aimed at you.

“It’s been years-”

You shot at his leg before he could speak further, earning a howl from him. One glance at Yunho to confirm that you got this, you moved towards the man and pressed the muzzle against his forehead.

“What are you doing here? What did you do to the doctor?”

“I was saving him,” he spat on your boot and you clenched your jaw. “You know that.”

You glanced behind and got closer. “Did the Captain send you?”

The man scoffed. “And what if he did? Why are you here?”

“He got me here, in case you forgot,” you seethed. “And he got you in this mess. Remember that.”

“What are you gonna do, huh? Kill your old-”

You heard the familiar footsteps of Yunho and with your eyes closed shut as if that could undo everything you were about to do, you shot your old friend, his body going limp and falling with a thud against the wall. You finally opened your eyes, bending down to shut his eyes with trembling hands.

The footsteps grew closer and you felt a pair of hands on your shoulders. You didn’t care at that moment. You turned to him and said, “Call the team, please. I’ll stay here.”

Yunho nodded, giving you space and leaving the room. With glazed eyes, you placed a hand on your old friend’s cheek, noticing a silver glint around his neck and you dug out what was a necklace with his code name carved on it- KB. You smiled at that, recalling when he had showed you the necklace a few years ago, very proud of it. You searched his pockets but found nothing significant so you just slumped next to him, ignoring the pain in your arm until Yunho came again, having alerted the team.

With his dagger, he cut a piece of his shirt and tied it around your arm where you were still bleeding out. You only stared into the distance, your ears ringing with the sound of the gunshots. When he was done, he patted your arm again.

“Come on, they’re here.”

With a deep sigh, you got up and exited the room, noticing the doctor with foam around his mouth. “Cyanide pill?”

“Seems so,” he said. “I’ll tell you the details later, okay? You should get treated first.”

“Just tell me this was not a waste,” you turned to him, lips quivering. “Tell me all of this was not a waste.”

Pain flashed across his eyes but he nodded. “It was not, trust me. I cannot tell you right now,” he glanced behind him at his team approaching them and you understood. “But I have something. And it’s not for the higher-ups to hear. You understand?”

Somehow, the cloud of pain cleared then. You understood. You looked back at the doctor. “Mind if I check something?”

“Go ahead,” he said and you checked his neck for something similar to a chain. Yunho coughed and you looked at him- he patted his pocket in answer. You nodded and proceeded to check the room, taking anything you thought would prove significant while Jongho and Chris packed the bodies and loaded them in the car- protocol. Proof that you were not lying, though you were pretty sure one of them directly answered the higher-ups and it was not Yunho, which meant-

You almost ran outside and looked into the distance, running your eyes across the expanse and it was then you spotted the tiniest movement in the cabin in front of you.

Eyes. They had eyes and ears everywhere. Both the Crescents and Halaland’s own spies. The question though, was…

Just who had watched everything that had just happened?

—------------------------

You had a few scenarios of how you could get into the Medical Department- either infiltrate with your ‘spy skills’ and risk getting caught, or have Seonghwa pull some strings so you could go for something like an ‘inspection’, or the personal favourite- attack. 

However, you never thought you’d get access simply because you got shot during a mission. 

It was surprising because every department did have their own little emergency room with the basic first aid stuff. It was probably because you had to report, and what place better to report the death of the doctor than the very department he worked in?

“Let her get treated first,” Yunho insisted, “And then we’ll report.”

“We don’t have time to spare, Mr… Jeong, is it?” The middle-aged man with an arrogant look that had to be his staple shrugged. “Besides, it looks like a simple gunshot wound.”

You could feel that Yunho was mentally and physically reaching his limit as he tried to reason with who you recognised was the supervisor of the Medical Research Department- both the restricted and the secret one, the restricted being his cover for the public. You cleared your throat, wanting to get this over with. “I think we can report first- I can hold on for a while-”

“No,” Yunho said with a tone of finality and glared at you first before glaring at the supervisor. “My partner will be treated first and foremost. You, of all people, Dr. Kim, should understand that.”

Dr. Kim groaned before ordering the staff to escort you to the treatment room. You got stitched up after being administered painkillers and you had to stuff a few gummy bears in your mouth for the instant sugar rush or else you were positive you would have fainted. You were just being administered another IV when you heard a very familiar voice. 

“I got this from here, thank you.”

You watched the nurses leave and a familiar blonde come closer, checking on your IV. You almost gasped and he stifled his smile as he checked your vitals. 

“Not how I expected to see you but oh well,” he whispered and you grinned. 

“Not how I planned to get here either,” you said. “It’s so good to see you, Yeosang.”

“Likewise, Aurora,” he smiled before glancing around. “Tell me what happened.”

You briefed him as quickly as you could, handing him the necklace that belonged to KB. He nodded grimly and when you told him about spotting someone who must have been watching you, he nodded in confirmation.

“It’s been a while since Yunho fell out of their good graces. I bet they’re making sure he doesn’t make more mistakes.”

“What did he do?” You asked.

“He tried digging into the secrets of the Research Department after the Utopians were expelled from this centre,” he revealed and you were genuinely impressed and confused. “He had many Utopian friends and some of them disappeared without a trace.”

“Are they messing him up on purpose?” You dared to ask. “First the attack on our previous mission, and now this…”

“That’s not how they mess you up,” Yeosang tsk-ed. “That’s just misfortune. Anyways, your report better match Yunho’s or you’ll be the one who might become their target. And Aurora?”

“Yeah?”

“Stay safe. Remember your motive. Don’t trust the enemy. And… we don’t have much time. You barely have a week before we sign Utopia for a loss it will never recover from.”

Your heart sank yet again and you nodded furiously, understanding the gravity of the situation now that you heard it from someone who worked in the secret lab himself. He was about to leave when you called him and mouthed ‘stay safe’. 

Thankfully, Yunho gave his report in front of your team and all you had to do was follow up with your story, omitting the part where you knew the identity of the man you killed. After signing a few documents, you were allowed to leave and Yunho said he had someone to meet, asking Hani to make sure you go right to your room and rest.

Hani did just that, going as far as to help you take off your clothes so you could wash up while she cooked you some ramen, commenting on the lack of your healthy food choices. You smiled- she was such a mother not just to you but to everyone in your team. She did leave when dinner was ready and you had time to sort your thoughts out, enough time to recall what happened today.

You took a bullet for the enemy.

Could you call Yunho ‘the enemy’? Yunho, the person who cared with all his heart, the person who did serve the enemy, the one who would have taken a bullet for you too just because that is who he was. And Yeosang’s revelations had only confused you further about him- you should have just asked him if Yunho was the enemy.

But perhaps, he was just as confused as you were. Yunho had dared to dig into something so big. What stopped him? You understood that he was brilliant and after losing so many skilled Utopians, they couldn’t afford losing their own. But… what, exactly, made him stop? What did they have over him that was eating him alive because he could do nothing about it? The fact that these unsuccessful missions were simply misfortune (though one was staged) meant that they had something else over Yunho.

What could it be? A secret? Blackmail? Family?

You shut your eyes as you tried recalling his file that you had memorised, just like every other file on the employees of this department-

A knock sounded and you opened your eyes, wondering if your ears were still ringing. But when another knock sounded, this time louder, you got up and hesitantly opened the door-

To reveal Yunho. 

“You look like a mess… Sir,” you scanned him- messy hair, buttons undone, uniform torn from where he had cut it earlier for you, smudges of dirt and possibly blood on his exposed skin. “What brings you here?”

“Just wanted to make sure Hani didn’t kill you on her way here,” he scoffed. “Can I… come in?”

You nodded and he stepped in, awkwardly glancing around and you urged him to take a seat. You offered him dinner but he refused and you wondered if you could insist but handed him a chocolate bar instead and he accepted it, asking you just what happened during the mission.

“I found these,” you put your hand under the sofa and extracted a few pages. “Not sure what they mean but they might make sense to you.”

Yunho finished eating and examined the papers. “Medical terms I’m not quite familiar with. What do you reckon they say?”

“I don’t know, all these terms seem foreign to me,” you admitted- it wasn’t the entire truth. “You have someone who could translate it for us?”

“I’ll think about it. Shall I take these then?”

“Go ahead,” you said and he folded them neatly before putting them in his pocket. “Did the doctor say something before he… died?”

Yunho sighed deeply, rubbing his face. “I asked him why he gave up on his life at the sight of me. It’s my uniform- he recognised it. He only said that he did not want to go back and that he would prefer death.”

“‘Prefer death’,” you repeated. “That’s… something must have happened?”

“Yeah, I don’t know anymore,” Yunho slumped back. “I’m not sure I can investigate either.”

“Why?” You dared ask.

Yunho looked at you. “Do you have something to lose, Aurora?” You shook your head and he smiled. “Then you are very lucky.”

“What will you lose?” Your voice was almost a whisper and he looked down.

“Four years ago when we declared war on Utopia,” he began, “I lost a lot of friends. Some moved. Some went missing. When I tried tracing them, I always found myself at the Medical Research Department. I asked myself- why would someone missing be there when they didn’t have any relationship with the Medical Department whatsoever?”

“Oh, goodness,” you sighed and he nodded.

“I still don’t know why exactly- what exactly is going down there. I don’t know who to trust. When they realised I was digging in, they drafted my brother into the army so they could hold that over me. And after the previous mission, they threatened to place him within the enemy lines, where the war and the bloodshed is the thickest. I suppose they’ll do that now.”

“That’s… inhumane,” you breathed. No matter if Yunho was the enemy, that was still inhumane- to hold family against you. “They’re controlling you.”

“They’re controlling everyone here,” Yunho scoffed. “You cannot trust anyone.”

You raised a brow and he looked at you as if having realised just what he said. He locked eyes with you until you asked the inevitable.

“Do you trust me?”

“I don’t know, Aurora,” his voice was low and he shifted towards you. “You clearly have secrets you keep to yourself. I don’t know why I’m here- maybe I’ve doomed myself tonight.”

His eyes were expectant and they tugged at your heart with their warmth and vulnerability and… trust. Trust without knowing who exactly you were.

And you realised how deeply done you were for him when you found yourself saying, “I trust you. With all of my heart.”

Yunho blinked as if he couldn’t believe what he had just heard. Stomach in knots, you leaned forward a bit as you locked eyes with him. “I trust your judgement. I trust your motives, and I wish I could share your burden because I do not like to see you like this. I wish I could be your strength… if you’d allow me to. And I have nothing to lose anyway. I could do this for you-”

Perhaps you had signed yourself for your doom, you wondered, as Yunho grabbed you by the wrist and pulled you, bringing you in for a kiss so urgent as if you were on stolen time. Stomach in pleasurable knots, you leaned forward into the kiss, running your hands through his hair and pushing them away as you kissed him better, tasting the longing and pain in the way his hands cupped your face so delicately, in the way they later traced the outlines of your body-

And made you hiss in pain when they accidentally touched the bandaged spot on your arm. Yunho immediately drew back with concern on his face and you laughed a little when he examined it.

“I’m okay, just… it took me more by surprise, I guess.”

Yunho licked his lips, eyes falling to yours as he caught his breath. He forced himself to look at you. “You shouldn’t have taken the bullet for me, Aurora. Do you know how much it pains me?”

“I know you would have done the same,” you said and he looked away as if he did not want to believe that. “I’m fine. I know what I was doing.”

“I’m sorry-” 

“No,” you cupped his face this time, caressing it lovingly- you couldn’t bear the look in his eyes. “I would do that for you again,” you pecked his lips. “And again,” you kissed his cheek, trailing your lips up the side to plant another kiss on his temple. “And again,” you joined your forehead with his, his large hands going to hold your waist, making you feel so very safe as he buried his face in the crook of your neck, out of breath. You let him have his moment, caressing his head.

“What are we going to do, Aurora?”

“We’ll figure it out,” you kissed his head and he looked up at you. “I’ll make sure those bastards pay for what they did to you, you hear me? That’s a promise, Yunho. And I keep my promises.”

You sealed that promise with a kiss, so slow and sensual this time that it had you both wanting more. You unbuttoned Yunho’s uniform and tossed it on the floor, leaving him in a half-sleeve fitted shirt- oh, how beautiful he was. You traced his shoulders down to his arms and he snaked his hands up your waist, the sensation of his cold hands over your bare skin making you squirm a little which made him laugh, and then he was pulling you in for another kiss, this time as heated as it could be, tongues colliding and bodies rocking against each other in a rhythm that made you one.

You kissed each other for the longest time, affirmations and promises exchanged and then you lay in his arms, tired. You traced the multiple scars on his bare upper body, limbs tangled and breaths mingling as he fell asleep and you stifled in your tears, because-

Because this was love, in its pure and raw form. It took you so long to get here but you wouldn’t want to be anywhere else, with anyone else. You wondered if all that happened was so that you could be right here, in this moment, feeling so complete-

But still, with the guilt of the lies you had said, with the secrets you kept. He was going to find out, and he would hate you, perhaps with all of his heart. But…

You’d keep your promise.

You were going to make Halaland pay for not only what they did to your homeland but what they did to their own. How they broke their own.

You chanted it to yourself along with the beat of Yunho’s heart.

—-------------------

Yunho was right about his brother being drafted to the enemy lines this time. He hated that he was right, but he could do nothing about it-

Or so he thought, because something had indefinitely snapped inside of you. Your hatred for Halaland was not only because of the fact that they took away your home and family, but because they took away the families of the ones who laid their lives for the cause. What for, you wondered? Halaland couldn’t even protect its own. So now, you were hell-bent on doing something about it. 

Each day, you pretended to be serving Halaland with utmost sincerity, urging Yunho to put on the same act. He tried his best and you prayed that it would mislead the superiors and whoever was watching. Every other night, you and Yunho gathered in either of your rooms to discuss whatever you found during the day- stealing from the database (Yunho was quite skilled) or picking information spontaneously (your forte). You’d match your findings but-

Whatever was going on in Medical Research was very, very serious if it was kept this confidential. You always found yourselves at a dead end- anyone you could contact was either still an employee or wiped off the map without a trace. 

So each night, you held Yunho in your arms and assured him that you would make it right for him. You caressed his face and kissed his head in promise, and each night he would ask you why you were doing this for him, just like he asked you tonight.

“Call me ungrateful but I don’t understand why you’re doing this for me, Aurora,” he was tracing the outlines of your face with one finger while you rested in his lap with a thick bundle of files you had been going through since the evening- the information of all the Utopian employees in the Medical Department. “I’d really like to know what the other reason is. You can’t simply be doing this for me.”

“What do you think it is?” You asked absently, reading the data of the person Yunho had pointed out earlier- Song Mingi. One of his oldest friends here who used to oversee some business in Medical Research before he went missing without a trace. The one, Yunho had told you, who made him embark on this journey.

“I don’t know,” Yunho’s arm was a comfortable weight around you and his lips on the bare skin of your neck were welcome. “I’m not sure I want to find out.”

“You’re pretty insistent for someone who doesn’t want to find out,” you mumbled, frowning as you read Song’s supervisor’s name- Dr. Kim- the same doctor who took your reports in your previous missions. “Is it strange that every missing person is somehow connected to Dr. Kim of Research?”

Yunho stopped nuzzling into your neck to look at you and think. “He is the supervisor.”

“That file over there,” you pointed at a file on the floor. “It said that Dr. Kim became the supervisor after every Utopian was expelled. A promotion at such a sensitive time is rather strange, don’t you think, given how ‘saddened’ you all must have been having lost a valuable ally in the war.”

Yunho shifted under you, making you face him, limbs still tangled. “You’re saying the feud must have begun due to something that happened in Medical Research, right?”

“It’s a possibility we should consider,” you planted the seed, knowing very well that it was a fact. “The timing of it all is strange. Do you think we can have someone confirm this fact? Or at least give us a hint?”

“I could ask Dr. Kang, but I’m not sure where his loyalty stands now,” he faltered.

“I mean… if they still haven’t erased him off the map, probably with Halaland?” You said and Yunho chuckled.

“Not that part. We’re all answering to someone. I don’t know if he’s answering to the right person.”

“I think we can trust him,” you offered. “When he trained me, he always insisted I put my ‘moral values’ before any order, no matter who it came from. It always stuck with me.”

“I can see that,” Yunho smiled, caressing the nape of your neck. “It’s probably why I’m here too. You don’t give a shit about rules, do you?”

You shrugged and smiled when he looked a little proud. “I could say the same for you. Do you know how dangerous it is to dig into information again? Haven’t you learned anything from the last time you did it?”

“I can’t let you carry this burden alone, can I?” He asked and you pouted because you’ve had this conversation with him just about a dozen times and he always insisted he do the dirty work and risk getting caught even when he was the one who had something to lose now. Yunho pecked at your pouted lips. “I want you to come with me when I meet Dr. Kang. He could be of help, and if he’s not…”

“If he’s not, all you have to do is say the word and he won’t breathe any part of it to anyone else,” you promised, heart dipping with the lie and he chuckled at your confidence before he kissed you.

His kisses, you were finding, could be soft like feathers when he wanted them to be. And right now, that was it. And these moments always put some hesitancy when you tried returning the sentiments because with each night you spent together like this, you were certain you could never bear being apart from him, never bear if he ever looked at you with hatred in his eyes- when he would eventually find out the truth.

Yunho’s hand cupped your face and tilted it, his hold tighter near your neck. You kissed back, but-

“Why do I always feel like something is holding you back when you’re with me, Aurora?”

You bit your lips as you drew away, finding it incredibly hard to open your eyes and face him but you did.

“The only reason I hold back,” you told him, shifting in his lap so you could face him, “is because I am so, so afraid of losing you, Yunho. I’m so afraid that you’ll hate me one day.”

 “I could never hate you,” his grip on your waist tightened and you looked down, not wanting him to see how vulnerable you were right now. If he pushed the right button, you would spill everything-

“Look at me, Aurora.”

You did and you couldn’t take the look in his eyes- you physically couldn’t, not when you wanted to tell him so much and risk wasting everything you’d built so far, so you kissed his lips with an urgency that told him to shut up for now and just kiss you back and make you feel good, and oh, did he return the sentiment.

“Don’t look at me like that again if you don’t want me to break,” you whispered in his ear.

“What about me, huh?” He stifled a pleasured groan when you rolled your hips on his lap. “Do you want to watch me break?”

You drew away and smiled and Yunho thought it was the most sadistic smile he had ever seen on anyone and it turned him on so bad. He picked you up effortlessly as he stood, making you scream a little and wrap your arms around his neck so you wouldn’t fall, laughing into his shoulder as he placed you on the table, hands on your thighs spreading them apart so he could fit between them as he looked down at you.

“You’re gonna be the death of me,” he said and then he was bringing you flush to his body and kissing you, rolling his hips along yours as you wrapped your legs around him. He wasted no time turning the kiss as heated and frantic as the movements of your body, his hands in your hair and one still on your thigh, thumb playing with the waistband of your shorts. You were lazily running your hands along his upper body and it was driving him crazy-

“Isn’t it about time we take it to bed?” You offered, looking at the clock. “It’s way past your bedtime, Yunho.”

He didn’t miss the suggestive glance and with another sensual kiss where he pulled at your lip, sending butterflies in your stomach, he let his fingers graze dangerously close to the skin between your thighs.

“Not before I have a taste of you right here.”

You shut your eyes in pleasure as warmth coursed through you at those words and you became lost in the bliss as he started trailing his lips down your body. 

Taking it to bed could definitely wait.

—-----------------------

It took you both a few days to perfect the plan to meet Dr. Kang, and you were now wondering if Yunho was turning into you as he started setting the stage so the act could play out effortlessly, so that someone would come and tell him to go to Medical Research for some dealings or strategic planning. And you wondered why Yunho hadn’t done it earlier- he was so good at it that you were a little scared and had started to wonder if he wasn’t who he pretended to be.

Yunho laughed when you asked him that during your break when you two were alone in the cafeteria. “I obviously needed a partner, right?”

You shrugged, not buying it. “You’re doing just fine by yourself. I haven’t done anything.”

“You, Aurora, pointed me in the right direction,” he told you and you looked at him. “I’m simply preparing a ride so we can go there.”

And the ride was arranged in the matter of a few days when Dr. Choi herself assigned you and Yunho, the most skilled strategists in the department, to help sketch plans for the future course of the war and Halaland’s stance. Yunho asked Dr. Choi why they were doing the planning in the Medical Department- was it to plan the placement of medical camps? Dr. Choi answered that she believed so, but even she sounded unconvinced. So, together with Yunho, you were finally going to the Medical Research Department officially. 

What you hadn’t expected was to be escorted to a storage room at the end of the Medical Research section and to be confronted by the same Dr. Kim who was pretty much in your blacklist now. 

“Your seniors swear you’re the smartest of the bunch so I’m going to trust them and have you sign this non-disclosure agreement,” he began, keeping it simple. You and Yunho met eyes in confusion. “I’ll tell you the details after you have signed.”

When Yunho didn’t move, Dr. Kim scoffed. “Your old friend Kang swears you’re the best strategists, both of you, so I took his word for it. Want me to call him?”

“No, I think we’re good,” Yunho said. “I just need to look at the clauses before I sign. Can I have a moment?”

“Sure,” Dr. Kim relaxed back in his seat and Yunho tapped at your arm in question. You nodded- if Yeosang had really been the one who pulled the strings, you weren’t going to complain. In fact, even if he wasn’t, this was your chance to see just what was cooking here. Yunho seemed to understand that and you both read through the terms and signed.

“Very well,” Dr. Kim got up, taking the documents. “You’re being led to Level 0 of Medical Research- the lab only the selected few know about.” 

Your heart sank in nervousness- this was it. Dr. Kim led you to the stairs and continued. “We’ve recently made a breakthrough and we think it’s about time that we get some input from the strategists. The war could end within days now, do you understand?”

Yunho looked as surprised as you had expected. Dr. Kim unlocked the door and immediately, you were hit with the stench of strong chemicals and cleaning alcohol. Dr. Kim asked you two to wait while he went inside a lab and you turned to Yunho.

“Listen to me- no matter what you see today, you do not react, understand?” You said, realising fully well that you were risking your identity. “Even if you see a familiar face or something inhumane, you play along and make the decisions they would like to hear. You cannot play the hero right now, okay?”

Yunho looked genuinely confused now but he understood that there was a high chance something immoral was going on here. “I’ll try.”

“You will, for your brother,” you whispered. “And I will too. For you.”

He squeezed your hand in assurance and before he could say anything else, Dr. Kim was back. “Follow me.”

—--------------------------

You two had just gotten back to your room from Level 0 of Medical Research, and you were staring at the walls as you tried to make sense of the horrors you had seen.

You were pretty sure it was as much of a blur to Yunho as it was for you- if you tried replaying it in your head, you recalled going inside and Dr. Kim explaining the background of how they got here, but then he led you inside and showed you-

A human experiment.

A man not much older than you, tied to the bed with steel chains as if he could break them apart. What was more surprising was that Dr. Kim confirmed he very well could. He was in a confined space and you watched through the glass.

“This seems to be our first successful prototype. Since a decade, we have been playing with the idea of a specialised human army- better strength, better skills. Quicker reflexes and better impulses. Utopia was our ally back then, and we usually discussed it as a fantasy until one of our doctors made a breakthrough in his research and created a drug he thought could do something similar.”

“So Utopia is doing the same as us?” You had asked casually, putting a hand on Yunho’s back and caressing once to assure him you were playing along.

“The whole reason Utopia and Halaland fell apart was disagreement on this- they have better morals, I’ll give them that,” Dr. Kim chuckled loudly and Yunho seemed visibly uncomfortable but passed a weak smile. “They changed sides. We continued to test our drugs, but we fell back- most of our skilled doctors had been Utopian. We lost many, hence the slow progress.”

“But now- you seem to have succeeded?” Yunho said.

“We’ve almost finished the testing period with this one,” he motioned at the man who seemed to be sleeping right now, looking very normal. “If the trial is successful, we’ll use the drug for others.”

“If you don’t mind me asking,” Yunho cleared his throat. “Where or who exactly are the others?”

Everything after that was a blur- Dr. Kim had revealed that there were only a few volunteers for this programme right now but they had a few Utopian employees and soldiers they had detained over the past few years. He had asked for strategic advice and you had set the trap for him- if, in case you lost the mission to expose them and they went ahead with their human army, you wanted them at the western front first- you knew Utopia would have something up their sleeve too- but Utopia would never stoop so low. 

Yunho had done his best to play along. You two spent a few hours in that department, even met Dr. Kang who Dr. Kim claimed was one of the researchers for this programme and when you finally got to leave, Yunho followed you to your room.

You turned to him, still not believing what you had seen. “Is this real?”

“I don’t know anymore,” Yunho took a deep breath, hiding his face in his hands. “I’m surprised I didn’t throw up at Dr. Kim’s feet.”

“Glad you didn’t,” you muttered. “What are we going to do, Yunho?”

“I honestly don’t know anymore, Aurora. I now know why my brother is fighting at the enemy lines- so I have no choice but to participate in this… massacre. Massacre of lives is what this is, Aurora. It disgusts me how they’re handling humans there- aren’t they humans themselves?”

“They’re not,” you almost whispered. 

“I don’t know how many unfortunate souls have been wasted because the trial failed. That drug is basically a human-control drug. It could cause so much destruction in the war. What’s the point of winning now, though?” He scoffed, shaking his head. “I understand now, why the doctor we went to retrieve didn’t want to go back- death is a better option than becoming a human lab rat.”

“Can’t we expose them?” You wondered out loud. “I don’t know- even to the enemy?” You looked at Yunho but the guarded look in his eyes- he had to think of his brother too. “I could do that, Yunho. I have nothing to lose- you can play along while I expose them and end this inhumanity-”

“You won’t do it alone,” Yunho shook his head furiously. “I won’t let you do it alone.”

“You have your brother, Yunho-”

“And you,” he turned to you and you almost cried, overwhelmed. “I can’t risk losing you too.”

“And I can’t risk losing you, either, please,” you joined your hands and rested your forehead against them. “Please let me do it alone.”

“What are you not telling me, Aurora?”

You looked at him, finding a knowing look in his eyes. You shook your head and he sighed. “You still can’t tell me?”

“Not yet,” you finally muttered and he nodded, planting a kiss on your forehead and you let the tears fall, realising this might be the last moment Yunho would look at you with such love. 

“Why do you cry, love?”

You only hid your face in his lap and he held you as you cried silent tears, caressing your head through it all. When you stopped, he made you look at him as he wiped your face.

“I don’t know why you don’t believe me, I don’t know what you’ve done or at this point, who you are, but I know you’re not as bad as you make yourself to be,” he had the gentlest smile on his face as he ran a thumb over your lips, locking eyes with you. “And I could never hate you, because you’ve saved me so many times now. You don’t even know how.”

“I’m sorry,” you almost whispered and he shook his head, leaning in to kiss you deeply and you responded eagerly. When he broke back, he joined his forehead with yours. 

“No matter where we go from here, I love you, Aurora. That’s the reason why I won’t let you do this alone, and I would hate it if you put yourself in a situation where you get hurt and I lose you forever, do you understand?”

You smiled at that, wrapping your arms around his neck and hugging him good and tight. “And I love you, Yunho. That is why I’ll still insist that I have to do it alone- because I can’t bear to lose more people.”

“This argument will never end at this rate,” Yunho laughed as he rocked you back and forth. You drew back, pushing his hair away.”

“I know one way it will,” you suggested and he immediately understood, attacking you with an urgent kiss, making you arch into it and soon, he was on top of you on the couch, taking off layer after layer of your clothes, of the mask you wore around him, until you were bare. Until you wished he would call your real name when he kissed every inch of your body and murmured sweet nothings. Until you broke in every way possible, wondering how you could ever recover from this.

You had to do this alone.

—---------------------------

“You’re always alone. And you always will be.”

When the Captain had said those words, you had wanted to tell him he was wrong. Yes, that was the loneliest period of your life, but even then you had a few people who were with you. You had simply nodded and let him believe his words were wrapping around your heart.

However, now that Yunho held Kang Yeosang at gunpoint and looked at you with absolute hatred in his eyes, you couldn’t help but think back to that moment. You could practically feel the Captain’s hands on your shoulders as he whispered it in your ears-

“You’re always alone. And you always will be.”

Before you knew it, you were pointing a gun at Yunho’s head too and Yeosang stopped struggling in his grasp as he looked at you in surprise.

“We don’t have to do this, Yunho,” you said and even though your tone was harsh, your voice still quivered a bit.

“We really don’t, Aurora,” he said, tightening his hold on Yeosang. “I don’t know who you are anymore or why you’re doing this, but I can’t let you take these people.”

Everything had gone horribly wrong tonight. Seonghwa had provided you with the big plan- a distraction that would give you and him enough time to vacate Level 0 with the people trapped in there. Yeosang and Dr. Seo Yuna- a Halaland native who strongly opposed the idea of human experiments- were on duty tonight so all they had to do was sneak you in and show you the emergency exit. It led to a restricted parking area where Seonghwa would be waiting with an ambulance-

An ambulance because the Medical Department would be set on fire tonight. Dr. Kang and Dr. Seo were trained just like the other doctors in Level 0 on the evacuation process in case of an emergency. What the higher-ups wouldn’t expect would be everyone in Level 0 disappearing without a trace. Level 0 and all its data would turn to ashes tonight.

The plan was seamless, however, Yunho’s presence was something you didn’t expect and it caught you off guard when he arrived at the basement. He spotted you transferring his old friend, Song Mingi, on a stretcher and ran towards him, making you freeze momentarily as he examined his state.

“What happened?” Yunho asked you.

“Do you… recognise him?” You were going to play dumb for as long as you could. 

“That’s Mingi- my old friend,” he sounded broken as he brushed the hair off Mingi’s face, finding him all ragged and pale. “What are you doing here, Aurora?”

You glanced around- Dr. Kang and Dr. Seo were not present. You turned to Yunho. “You can’t be here- I was assigned to help evacuate the members of Level 0 because of the fire. Nobody assigned you, as far as I know.”

“And who assigned you?” His gaze was hard and you bit your lips, about to make up an answer when you heard footsteps behind you and saw Yeosang appear from the tunnel, look at you both and take out his gun to point at Yunho, who scoffed in disbelief.

“I’m going to have to ask you to leave- you cannot be here,” Yeosang drew closer and for the first time, you couldn’t make a quick decision, only glanced back and forth like a confused child. 

“Why is my presence such a big problem here?” Yunho straightened, gazing at both of his friends long and hard. “I’m authorised with access here, just like Aurora, am I not?”

Yeosang glanced at you and your reflexes kicked in- you knew that look. He was going to shoot Yunho. When his hand shifted on the trigger, you immediately grabbed a tray and threw it at Yeosang, making Yunho duck as he shot. Yeosang gaped at you and you ran towards him but he pointed his gun at you, making you raise your hands.

“Please, Yeosang, not him,” you begged. “He can help- just listen to me-”

“The Captain only allowed you to save his brother,” he whispered. “He said nothing about Yunho.”

You were about to protest when Yunho pushed you to the side- you didn’t even hear him coming this time. He was on Yeosang in a second, startling him and wrestling him until he was in his grasp and Yunho had him at gunpoint.

And so here you stood, pointing your gun at him. You caught your breath and shut your eyes when the tears started to sting. When you opened them, you spoke. “You have two choices, Yunho. You can either let me go and meet your brother at the same cabin the doctor died that day, or you can kill me right now and lose everything you love.”

“I’ve already lost everything I love,” his voice was strangled and you shook your head in denial. 

“You can save your brother,” you pleaded. “Please.”

“Where are you taking them?” He asked.

“I can’t tell you that,” you shook your head, knowing what it would cost you if you told Yunho everything right now- not only your life but Yunho’s as well.

“Is this who you are, Aurora?” Yunho scoffed. “A true Halaland loyal?”

You didn’t respond though his words felt like a stab. “You have 10 seconds to make a decision.”

The sound of those seconds being ticked off echoed within all of you and at the 9th second when you were about to pull the trigger, Yunho let go of Yeosang and you exhaled in relief, but it died down when his eyes met yours, full of betrayal. Hatred. Confusion. And so, so much anger.

“It’s funny, now that I think about it,” Yunho pushed his hair back. “All those times we interacted. Your sole purpose was to use me to get here, wasn’t it?”

This time, the tears did leave your eyes. Yeosang shook his head and asked Yunho to exit the premises and go through the emergency exit unnoticed if he wanted to save his brother. Yunho passed you a sad smile before he left and you sank down to your knees, fisting the ends of your shirt and screaming your heart out. Yeosang patted your back once before muttering that you had already lost precious time. 

You helped transport the members in a daze. When you set fire to the lab, you didn’t feel one ounce of regret. You told yourself you would set a similar fire some day and burn your feelings for Yunho as well. 

But tonight? Tonight you would let them consume you and drive you mad. Only tonight.

So when you spotted the Captain in an abandoned building that you were going to use until you could go back to Utopia, the cracks of dawn illuminating the ruins, you didn’t bow like you would have. You ran to him instead and hit his chest with your fists repeatedly, crying and screaming, not caring who witnessed the moment. The Captain made no move to stop you, raising a hand to stop Seonghwa instead who was pulling out his gun. He let you have your moment until you were tired and rested your head against his shoulder, crying your heart out.

“Who broke you, Aurora? Who melted that ice-cold heart of yours?”

“I hate you for doing this to me,” you cried and he tsk-ed. “I won’t forgive you.”

“I told you, Aurora,” he held you by your shoulders and you looked at him- hair styled an odd way- half bleached and half natural. It made him look fiercer than ever. “I told you that you will always be alone in this field. It is your weakness that led you here. You can blame me all you want, but it’s on you.”

“Just tell me it’s over,” you said, feeling drained. “Tell me my job is done.”

“It is,” he nodded. “When we go back to Utopia… you’re a free bird if you choose to be.”

You looked beside you at Seonghwa and Yeosang, shaking your head. “I’m going to head inside first then.”

—----------------------

Yunho didn’t know what he was expecting when he broke into the cabin, but his brother laughing with someone else looking unscathed and free just wasn’t it. 

He frowned in confusion. “Gunho?” 

Gunho gasped audibly before rushing to hug his brother and Yunho almost cried in relief. Gunho looked at him. “You’re finally here!”

“Were you waiting for me?” Yunho scanned him, making sure he was okay.

“Of course I was,” he patted his arm, drawing back. “Wooyoung here was kind enough to get me- he won’t tell me who he is but apparently he holds the authority to discharge me from the army. I’m free now.”

“No way,” Yunho breathed, looking gratefully at Wooyoung who shook his head.

“I was simply doing my job.”

“Who assigned you?” Yunho dared to ask.

“I think you know that already,” Wooyoung winked, getting up and straightening his army uniform. “I’ll be taking my leave now. My last message for you is ‘don’t go back’. Oh, and I have something else-”

Wooyoung dug in his pocket and produced four bullets, placing them in Yunho’s extended palm. Yunho recognised the bullets- the one he’d given Aurora, but-

“There should be one more?”

“She kept one,” Wooyoung smiled knowingly.

Yunho sighed deeply. “Tell me where to find her- or someone who can give me answers.

Wooyoung considered for a moment- he had seen the way Aurora had nearly broken when she begged him to save someone she knew nothing about except the name. And the fact that this person was here and still looked sceptical…

Wooyoung took out a piece of paper and pencil and scribbled an address. “Seven days from now, you can find us here. I don’t know if Aurora will still be there by that time.”

“What do you mean?” Yunho asked.

“We’re going back home, Yunho,” Wooyoung smiled. “The war is ending soon. There will be no victory, simply a treaty.”

“Home?” Yunho couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Wooyoung simply saluted mockingly before exiting the cabin.

—---------------------

The past week, Yunho had replayed every moment since Aurora came into his life. Every single time he had seen her, had interacted with her or heard about her from someone else.

He realised he had been blind. The answer was so painfully obvious- Aurora wasn’t from Halaland at all. He was pretty sure her name wasn’t Aurora as well. 

She was a spy, he knew. And now that he thought about it, she hadn’t really done much to hide it- at least not in front of him. From always staring towards the west, not at the setting sun but towards her homeland, to almost cracking Utopia’s code so easily- he wondered if she was the mastermind behind the code. The way she questioned every move Halaland made, the way she put a distance between them-

Every night, he held the four bullets in his hands and wondered why she kept the fifth one. It made him so, so restless.

And every night, Yunho always ended his train of thoughts with the same question every night-

Did she actually love him, or was all of it to get to Medical Research?

Was he simply a rung on the ladder to get to her goal? Or was he not meant to be part of the equation at all, a mistake on her part?

Yunho didn’t realise how long he simply stood in front of the cottage until someone creeped up behind him, patting his back and scaring him a little. It was Seonghwa- yet another surprise.

Just how many people in the Halazia Research Facility were spies? Were they only Utopians or were they from other nations as well?

“I almost killed you because I didn’t recognise you,” Seonghwa lit a cigarette, offering him one but Yunho declined. “So you’re finally here.”

“What do you mean ‘finally here’?” Yunho asked. “Were you expecting me?”

“We placed bets- don’t tell Aurora,” Seonghwa snickered. “Yeosang owes me 10 now.”

She was still here.

“Where is she?” Yunho gulped.

“Not so quick, mate,” Seonghwa scanned him. “You’ve been travelling quite a bit, haven’t you?”

“Have you been spying on me?” Yunho scoffed.

“Weren’t you looking for a place to keep your brother safe?” Seonghwa simply said. “Have you found one?”

“Not yet,” Yunho admitted. 

“You could come with us, you know.”

Yunho considered that. “I don’t know who ‘us’ is. I can’t blindly follow you to god knows where.”

“Well then, I guess you should meet the Captain. He specifically asked me to bring you to him if you came. He’s quite interested in seeing the face of the person who broke his dear Aurora’s heart.”

Yunho raised a brow though his heart sank at his admission. “Where is she, Seonghwa?”

“Out on a mission- she’ll be back by dawn,” Seonghwa urged him to follow him inside and took him to a room where Yunho spotted a man with unique hair standing by the fire. Seonghwa knocked on the door and he turned.

“This is Jeong Yunho.”

“This is him?” the man scoffed as he came forward, a cane in his hand that Yunho wasn’t entirely sure was for mobility purposes. Probably a weapon. “I expected something else- I don’t know. I can’t believe this is the face that melted her frozen heart.”

“And who are you?” Yunho countered, watching Seonghwa take his leave. The man motioned for him to take a seat and Yunho did after a moment of hesitation. The man followed, sitting in front of him.

“They call me the Captain around here. Captain of the Crescents- a group of spies who were born for the sole purpose of taking revenge on Halaland after they betrayed us. Betrayed Utopia.”

Yunho let that sink in. “What revenge?”

“I think you know that already,” the Captain sighed. “Honestly, when I learned that Aurora had told you more than you should have known, considering you don’t have an ounce of Utopian blood in you, I was ready to kill both her and you. But, that brat…” he scoffed in amusement. “She got on her knees for you, Jeong. Do you have any idea what that means?”

Yunho looked blank so he continued. “Aurora is one of the best spies I’ve known in my life. I had to break her to make her bend. But you… what did you do? What sweet things did you mutter to turn my strongest spy into such a hopeless mess? All these years of training her into becoming a cold-hearted thinker and assassin, and she melts because apparently you looked, really looked at her with those eyes of yours.”

Yunho looked down, each word hammering a nail in his head. “If she had told me… I would have joined her. I was never in favour of Halaland’s unethical methods, and after I discovered what was really going on…”

“If she told you, you would have exposed her. She understood that, because she would have done the same. You’re only human, after all,” the Captain twirled the cane in his hands. “Why are you here today?”

“To get answers,” Yunho replied. 

“You’ve got your answers now, haven’t you? Scoot off, then,” he relaxed back, glaring at Yunho.

“Who are you, really?” Yunho asked. “How come you knew about the Medical Research Department?”

The Captain’s smirk fell and he looked wistfully into the fire. “Because I’m one of the masterminds behind Level 0, and to this day, I regret being a part of it.”

Yunho was positive his heart actually dropped to his feet. “You’re a Utopian?”

“The only Utopian who escaped at the right time before they turned against us and stole our ideas,” the Captain looked at Yunho. “Kim Hongjoong, in flesh and blood.”

“Kim Hongjoong is dead,” Yunho couldn’t believe his ears. “We held a funeral for you.”

“A good cover up by Halaland, I’ll give them that,” he shrugged. “They needed to do that to take over and turn on Utopia- they’ve been on my tail ever since. I wasn’t sure if they had the brains to continue with the experimentation- testing on humans was never my idea either. It’s why I sent Aurora to finish this once and for all. We’ve met with your higher-ups and we’ve agreed to not expose their dirty deeds if they end this nonsensical war. The official end of the war will be announced soon.”

Yunho definitely felt something like a heavy burden lifted from his shoulders at the revelation. “And where are the members of Level 0?”

“The ones who were actually doing the dirty deeds will be secretly tried in court. The ones who were spies, like Yeosang… they’re going home. I understand you had a few friends there? Mingi, for instance? He was my closest junior- he’s in the next room if you wish to see him.”

Yunho nodded, letting all of this digest before he got up. “Thank you for what you did- I’m not sure I quite understand the gravity of it yet- it’s too much to process right now, but… thank you.”

“No need to thank me, I did what I had to,” Hongjoong looked at him, an unspoken agreement shared.

He needed to thank Aurora.

He needed to see Aurora.

Yunho spent the most part of the night with Mingi, catching up and confirming the facts, learning that the ‘lab rats’ were now being treated by the doctors and realising how brutally his people had treated even their own. His heart felt tight in his chest by the time he was done chatting with him and he went outside for some fresh air.

And a few minutes later, spotted two figures walking towards the cottage.

He could recognise you even from your silhouette, and he thought it was crazy that he did. He recognised the exact moment you saw him and paused for a mere fraction of a second before continuing to move like nothing had happened. He knew your mannerisms, he knew you inside out, and yet-

He knew nothing about you.

He didn’t even know your name.

This time when you met eyes, he waved awkwardly at you and you felt your heart sink again. You wanted to scream at him, shout at him, but you were far too tired. Your companion took leave, disappearing inside and you walked slowly but surely to Yunho.

“You’re here.”

Yunho passed a tight-lipped smile, wondering where to begin. He scanned you as you took off your mask and hat, looking-

Fatigued. 

“Are you- have you been well?” Yunho asked, hating how he sounded.

You shrugged. “Did you meet your brother?”

“Yes. He’s safe now…” Yunho took a step forward but you backed away and he paused, muttering a ‘sorry’.

“Well, I guess that’s it, then?” You began, looking up and scanning him- you had no idea where he had been the past week but he looked the most weary. “You heard everything, I’m assuming?”

Yunho nodded. “I should have seen it earlier. You didn’t really hide it from me, did you?”

A faintest hint of a smile crawled to your lips. “You don’t always see what’s in front of your eyes, Yunho.”

Yunho’s heart tugged at the way you called his name. “What are we going to do, Aurora?”

You passed a weak smile. “I don’t know. All I know is that I’m going back. I cannot spend one day longer in this wicked, wicked land.”

Yunho felt the jab good and well. “I’m sorry for what it took from you.”

“Are you?” You sighed when hurt flashed across his eyes. “I’m not even mad at you, Yunho. I’m just… disappointed in myself. I’m disappointed that my love didn’t seem real enough- that you doubted my intentions so quickly.”

“And wouldn’t you have done the same?” Yunho challenged. “If I turned my back on you? Wouldn’t you have questioned every moment that we shared?”

“Maybe not-”

“You could have told me, Aurora,” Yunho almost yelled in frustration but clenched his eyes shut to reel himself in. “All you had to do was trust me. You didn’t trust me enough to tell me who you were. I keep calling you Aurora but that’s not even your name.”

You felt the very familiar sting in your eyes. “I had people to protect.”

“And so did I,” Yunho’s gaze was hard. “And I had you to protect. I would have laid my life down for you, if only you had allowed me to.”

You turned away, wiping your eyes. “I couldn’t allow that.”

“So we’re even then, aren’t we?” Yunho’s voice was also quivering and you dared to glance at him. “Please… look at me.”

You did and this time when he stepped towards you, you didn’t back away. He put his hands on your shoulders, rubbing them just like he used to. “Tell me your name.”

You passed him a sad smile as you told him your name, buried somewhere so deep inside you, uncalled for years. He said it twice, testing it on his lips. It felt right.

“Y/n,” he smiled widely and you laughed through the tears. “I want to know who that is. I want to learn about you again, if you’ll let me. If you forgive me for doubting you and for being an asshole-”

“No,” you shook your head furiously. “You gave me so much, Yunho, and I returned nothing in comparison. I would have lost myself there if it weren’t for your presence always grounding me, even when we were as good as strangers. I- you gave me love when I thought I’d never find it again, when it had become a foreign concept to me.”

“Do you love me still, y/n?” He asked, his eyes expectant.

“I do, you fool,” you laughed, finally earning the grin you so loved to see. “I hope you don’t hate me.”

“How could I?” Yunho’s hand shook slightly as he cupped your face and you leaned into his touch. His gaze was so strong as he caressed the angles of your face- you were positive your knees were actually turning weak and perhaps they were, that’s why his other hand travelled to your waist to bring you closer. “How could I hate you when you look at me like this? Like you could break me? Like you’d break in my touch too?”

He planted a kiss on your forehead, lingering there and you breathed in the scent of him- the scent that was your home now. Yunho didn’t waste any more time, leaning in and capturing your lips in a kiss that absolutely shattered you the way it was so cautious yet so, so demanding. You brought your arms to wrap around his neck, standing on your tiptoes with your body flush against him as you kissed back, deeper, making him loosen up with every movement until you were simply making out, exchanging all the feelings too deeply buried, all the words unspoken, all the apologies and the promises.

“I missed you so, so much, y/n,” Yunho breathed against your lips when you broke apart for breath, tugging at your lower lip with his teeth that made you dig your nails into his skin. He pecked your lips again. “You have no idea.”

“I do,” you kissed him. “I know all too well.”

Yunho drew apart, tucking your hair behind your ears as he gazed at you lovingly. “Take me with you this time, will you?”

“You want to come with me to Utopia?” You raised a brow.

“I mean… all my friends will be there,” he glanced back at the cottage and you understood who he meant. “Besides… I’m quite sick of Halaland too. Pretty sure they have a wanted poster back in the facility for me.”

You laughed at that. “Basically you want to come with me because you’re dead meat here.”

“I’m dead meat anywhere if I’m not with you-”

“Stop!” You put your hands over your ears, laughing as you ran away because his goofy side was back and he went after you, making you squeal.

Hongjoong and Seonghwa stood watching from the window upstairs. Hongjoong tsk-ed. “An absolutely disgusting sight, don’t you think?”

“Absolutely,” Seonghwa clinked his drink with Hongjoong’s and they both cursed under their breaths as they drank-

To love. To victory.

To going back home.

[shixcherie]

Chérie’s Recommendations!

~ ~ call me chérie ☆

☆ Being on Tumblr and a proud part of the ATEEZ fandom (Atiny for life ❤️), I’ve come across some truly heart-fluttering, beautifully written pieces by incredibly talented people. Bonus points ☆ ☆ ☆ for the toe-curling smut too! I’m sure, as a fellow Atiny, you’ve stumbled across some of these works, but if not, hopefully, you’ll find some new favorites in my curated list. Every one of these fics deserves so much love for how wonderfully they’re crafted, and I only hope to be able to one day write something just as beautiful.

So, let’s dive into my favorite fics list and meet the talented people behind this amazing content!

Stories :

☆ Into the aurora (series) - by [ @honeyhotteoks ]

☆ Body language (one-shot) - by [ @k-hotchoisan ]

☆ Who (series) - by [ @todomochi-uwu]

☆ Bouncy ( oneshot, part of a miniseries) - by [ @hongism ]

☆ Caffeine Addiction (one-shot) - by [ @beginningofwonderland ]

☆ Horizon ( series ) - by [ @pxedpiper ]

☆ Pirate King ( series ) - by [ @chaseatinydream ]

☆ Room For Three ( mini series ) - by [ @honeyhotteoks ]

☆ Wrong Answer (one- shot ) - by [ @essenteez ]

☆ Crimson white snow ( one-shot ) - by [ @haosweater]

☆ Racer Seonghwa ( one - shot ) - by [ @k-hotchoisan ]

☆ Elixir of Death ( Series ) - by [ @darkphoenix07 ]

☆ We can’t be friends (one-shot )- by [ @jensthwa ]

☆ Teacher’s Pet ( onshot ) - by [ @holybibly ]

☆ Chosen for Heaven, Cursed for Love ( one-shot ) - by [@shinescape ]

☆ Candy (mini shots ) - by [ @bro-atz ]

☆ Touch and Sketch ( one-shot) - by [@k-hotchoisan ]

☆ Too Fucking Hot To Deal ( one-shot) - by [ @holybibly ]

☆ Blue Bird (one - shot) - by [ @seonghwaddict ]

☆ Not Just A Dream ( mini series ) - by [ @ja3hwa ]

☆ Almost Home (one shot ) - by [ @shadowkoo ]

☆ Django (one - shot ) - by [ @last-words-ofashootingstar ]

☆ After Hours ( one-shot ) - by [ @hwaslayer ]

☆ My Fav Position ( one - shot ) - by [ @xuchiya ]

☆ Save a horse, ride a cowboy (one - shot ) - by [ @yunhoszn ]

Honourable Mentions :

☆ Bottle Service ( one-shot ) - by [ @bro-atz ]

☆ Circus ( series ) - by [ @lani-heart ]

~~

This is just part 1 of a lot fics I have enjoyed, so if you like this I am gonna make a part 2 very soon.

Don't forget to check these amazing pieces and the talented writers out.

My works : Kinktober 2024 My Recommendation n Reviews accont : @cheriesbasket

~ ~ Chérie ☆ signin’ off

[faeprincess777]

❤️My Ateez Favorite Fics🩷

I do not own any of these fics, I just enjoyed reading them! Most of these fics are smutty, so please, no minors!

OT8

Whichever Way by @igbylicious (woosan, series)

Best Girl by @beenbaanbuun (yunho & mingi)

The Paradigm Complex by @shadowynn (multi-member)

Dewdrops at Dawn by @sunmoonjune (multi-member)

Into the Aurora by @honeyhotteoks (multi-member)

Masterlist by @holybibly (multi-member)-literally every single fic is fire 🔥

Jenga and Jealousy Masterlist by @hongjoongtime117 (multi-member)

Hotel California by @mint-yooxgi ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Hongjoong

I Can't Stand Him by @hongjoongtime117

Seonghwa

Mr. Popular by @wooyoungiewritings

All Tied Up by @pyramid-of-starrs

Make Me Water by @bangtanintotheroom

Yandere Seonghwa by @mymoodwriting

The Thing About Pretty Boys by @wonusite

Hybrid, Yandere Seonghwa by @mymoodwriting

Best Friend's Mother by @hwashotcheeto (series)

Before Midnight by @baekmond

Heartbeat by @yunniverse

Don't Be a Stranger by @1117feverlessdreams

You Made It Shine by @taeyongdoyoung

Passion Young Fever by @fairyniceyeah (sickfic)

Pleasure of Punishing by @songmingisthighs

Yunho

Attention Seeker by @pyramid-of-starrs

Mercilessly by @velvetydream

Yeosang

Touch Me, Taste Me, Fill Me Up by @littlefireball

San

I See Red by @0097linersbb

Karaoke Angel by @kpop-dungeon-dark

My Heart, I Surrender by @sweetinsaniiity

Softer, Softest by @frenchkisstheabyss

Mingi

Husky Hybrid Mingi by @vent-stink

Cock Blocked by @star2fishmeg

Sick, Little Games by @sweetinsaniiity (pt.2)

Wooyoung

Die for me by @jisungchan

How to Tame a Brat Tamer by @k-hotchoisan

Seduced by the Bad Boy by @xomakara

Thrill of the Chase by @alvojake

Just Trust Me by @wwooyology

Jongho

Just One More by @mingtinysworld

Hide and Seizure by @itsoktobeconfused (sickfic)

[starillusion13]

Hi!!! can I request a poly pirate ateez x reader fic? they chose another girl over her and betray her but they regret and chase her back but the reader doesn’t forgive so easily

Pirate’s Heart

Pairing: Ateez! ot8 x fem! reader

• Genre: Angst, Pirate, Mature

• Warnings: crying, misunderstanding, betrayal, choosing someone else, trusting a stranger, false accusations, lies [plz tell me if I have missed something] also oc doesn't forgive easily coz they chose someone else. Come on bfr, I’m searching for you girl.

• W.C: 5k (it’s not how I thought it to be)

Note: please I want to thanks to people for reading and reblogging. Reviews are always appreciated. I tried to put more emotions into it but still I know it’s not how I wanted. I don’t know what to add more into this.

Network: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity

Eight men laughing all around the room and a girl sulking in the corner, sitting on a wooden stool beside the youngest man among them. he pats her back and trying to hold back his laughter.

“Mina…it’s okay.”

“No! you all betrayed me yesterday and I was alone roaming around the market.”

Jongho looks over at the captain who is grinning widely across from the old wooden table when he spoke up, “we were just busy with some things of ours.”

“Things?” she whines, “you all were trying to find her. Why? She can find her way back to the ship.”

You hiss to her words and mentally scoff from outside the room. But the surprising fact is that. They followed you? You don’t think that something about you even matter to them. Maybe, they don’t care if you had been attacked by their enemy. They were only following you to keep an eye, if you are not betraying behind their back.

“and you could have flirted more.” You mutter under your breath.

You hear captain’s voice and your feet scoot closer towards the dark wooden door. Tears pooling in your eyes. When was the last time he laughed with you? Or any of them spent a little time with you?

“That’s not true. You are familiar to this place but she has never been to here.” The captain stated and Seonghwa nods slowly which made her scowl.

I shouldn’t have ever stepped to this place. Your life has become upside-down after stepping a foot on this land and then suddenly Mina stumbling in your way. You still hate this from last year when she snatched your lovers.

“still…” she whines and you cringe at her tone. Yunho got up and cups her cheek, “next time, we will go to the market with you. Promise.” He brings a grape to her lips and she happily eat it. They all cooed and laughed at her cuteness.

Their laughs pierced your heart which made the tears flow down your cheeks and so you ran away from the door---behind which lies a lot of secrets.

It sounds like you're feeling hurt or disappointed because someone you liked chose someone else over you. This is really tough to deal with. It's important to remember that everyone has their own preferences and reasons for making choices, and it doesn't necessarily reflect on your worth as a person but it's not caused by some certain person.

It's about your lovers. The eight pirates who once vowed to give you a family, the love you deserve and pledged their loyalty towards you.

But now, it’s all gone.

They have turned their back to you, never glancing at the most treasured gem of theirs---their heart.

Their Y/n.

Their only Aurora.

>>>> <<<<

In the azure expanse of the Sea, where the sun dancing upon the waves like golden fire and the salty breeze whispering secrets of the deep, there you stood upon the deck of the ship. The locks swaying with the light wind and your eyes closed, facing towards the sun.

Once where existed—a tale of love. Now, it’s all about betrayal and redemption, woven amidst the tumultuous seas and treacherous shores.

In the heart of the sea, you have always dreamed of adventure beyond the horizon, of a life filled with excitement and romance. Even if you stood in front of the danger, you had a smile adorning your face with the strong belief that you have the most powerful and fearful pirates of the sea with you and nothing can ever put you nine down.

 But all the hopes are gone now.

Little did you know in your childhood that your destiny would intertwine with that of eight notorious pirates whose names echoed through the taverns and harbors of the sea --- The Ateez.

Led by their enigmatic captain, Kim Hongjoong was feared and revered in equal measure, their ship, the Blue Bird, striking fear into the hearts of merchants and sailors alike.

But beneath their fearsome exterior lay hearts yearning for something more—a love that transcended the boundaries of the sea. Your love.

It was on a moonlit night, with the stars twinkling like diamonds in the sky, when your path first crossed with that of the Ateez. As you walked along the deserted shores of Halazia, your thoughts lost in the gentle rhythm of the waves, you stumbled upon a sight that would change your life forever.

There, stranded upon the sands, lay a man---a pirate surrounded by seven other figures, his clothes torn and his face etched with pain. Without hesitation, you rushed to his side, heart racing with a mixture of fear and curiosity.

To your surprise, the man stirred, his eyes flickering open to reveal a gaze as deep and mysterious as the ocean itself. It was none other than Captain Hongjoong, his aura of danger and intrigue drawing you like a moth to a flame.

“People fear me a lot but I don’t want you to fear me. I’m not scared to lose anything but you.”

In that moment, amidst the crashing waves and the swirling mist, a connection sparked between you both—a connection that defied reason and logic, binding your fates together in ways you could never have imagined. His sea brothers, whom he gathered and grew up together with from the beginning pledged their loyalty to you.

As days turned into weeks and weeks into months, you found yourself drawn deeper into the world of the pirate Ateez, your bond with Captain and the crew growing stronger with each passing day. Seonghwa, the Quatermaster was always the one to accompany you whenever the captain was not around and the bonding grew into more intimate. His soft and comforting smile with the warmth of his skin against yours was enough for you to feel at home.

“love, we will always run to each other if we feel threatened. Your love is the strongest weapon to me.” He said and smiled down at you in his arms.

The cook who was also the head Rigger, Wooyoung was the playful menace of the crew and even though, you felt scared by others, he would be the one to grab your hand and run away to the vast fields or cuddling with each other on top, the crowsnest. Sometimes, the surgeon of the ship, Yeosang would also tag along with you both.

“I never had more fun spending time here but with you, I don’t want this to end any day.” You smiled towards the Rigger and nodded.

The surgeon planted his feet on the wood and left the rope’s grip, “I should agree too. Nothing can cure me more than your love, Y/n.”

You feared the first mate and the pilot, Yunho. His intimidating stare and the fire glinting in his eyes with a flick of curiosity to know if you were a stowaway on the ship made him distant with you but once when you risked your life for his. He became determined since that day that he would be the one in charge for your safety.

“I can risk everything to save you, pearl. You are the precious gem to me.” he cups your cheek before placing a kiss on your lips.

Mingi, the gunner was always the one to approach you with a welcoming aura but the weapons with him scared you at first. Eventually, when you spent nights with him, sharing deepest secrets, he knew your heart has been kept safe with him.

“you made me feel emotions which I didn’t know I could ever feel. Thank you, y/n.”

Jongho, the sailing master. You have watched him from afar while spending time with others but never once tried to approach him because of his cold appearance. You doubted his personality whenever you had caught a glimpse of his gummy smile. Once, when he was directing the other mates on the ship, you found out that Yeosang was also the navigator of the cabin crew. Yunho would always be with these two to ensure the perfect course of the journey.

“Jongho…you must be tired.” Your concerned voice made him smile towards you.

“never. I can’t ever be tired when I’m with you. You are my greatest strength.”

In the end, San, the striker and helmsman was the one who gave you the warmth in the ocean of coldness. His piercing eyes following each and every movement of yours around the ship was enough to feel you under watch. He was always hiding behind the darkness but one day when you risked your life for them, he stood under the spotlight to kill every individual who pointed their swords at you, even a single finger.

“even if I look back for once, I would look back at you before killing everyone who dared to point a finger.” He hugged you tighter.

He was the last one to fall in love with you but first one to accuse you. The days can’t be always be smooth and peaceful, just like the waves in the sea bed. Once, its silent then in the next moment it would be a roaring storm thrashing around.

Similarly, lurking in the shadows of your burgeoning romance was a darkness that threatened to tear you apart—a darkness in the form of another woman.

Driven by jealousy and vengeance, Mina vowed to destroy everything the Ateez held dear, starting with their heart--- you. And so, with her wiles and charms, she ensnared the affections of the eight pirates who had once pledged their love and loyalty to you.

One by one, they fell under her spell, their emotions wavering in the face of Mina's deceit. And though you fought with all her strength to reclaim their love, your efforts were in vain, for the pirates had chosen someone else—a betrayal that cut deeper than any sword.

>>>> <<<<

But, one fateful day, as you stood upon the deck of the pirate ship bound for distant lands, a familiar sight caught your eye—a merchant’s ship, its sails billowing in the wind, its bow cutting through the waves like a knife through butter.

“y/n…what are you doing?”

His voice made you flinch but still your attention on the merchant ship in distance didn’t waver. You gripped the railing tightly to fight back the weakness in front of him. his heavy boots hit against the wooden plank and the creaking sounds made shiver run down your skin.

When was the last time he called your name?

“I don’t know where she is. Go ask others.” Your reply was cold and he nodded to himself before stepping closer. As the two ships drew closer, your eyes followed the waves when you suddenly turned around and glared, “stop right there.”

He stopped in his track.

You felt a surge of emotions coursing through your veins—fear, anger, longing. But above all else, there was hope—a glimmer of hope that perhaps, just perhaps, the tides of fate had finally turned in your favour.

No one has ever dared to command anything to the captain except Seonghwa. Maybe you as well. As if by some twist of fate, today Captain has appeared before you, his gaze meeting yours with an intensity that sent shivers down your spine. You stood on your spot strong, with the fire in your eyes towards him.

"Y/n" he said, his voice a low rumble that echoed in the depths of your soul. "I am asking about you not her."

For a moment, you were speechless, your heart pounding in your chest as you struggled to comprehend the magnitude of what was happening. Could it be true? Could he still harbor feelings for you after all this time?

“because you can’t find her anywhere and thinking it’s something has to do with me.” your emotionless tone was pinching his skin. He licked his lips, staring at you with a hope to listen your sweet words. Your eyes wandered around and you felt odd. No one was in the sight and the ship was undoubtedly quiet. But when your eyes landed on the round stairs from the master cabin, you saw other seven figures descending down towards the plank where you stood with the captain.

Before you could formulate a response, Hongjoong took your hand in his, his touch sending a jolt of electricity coursing through your veins. "I know I have wronged you, y/n" he said, his eyes brimming with sincerity.

Why is he suddenly saying all these?

You snatched your hand from his grip and glared, the same look you sent towards the others when they approached near, “Why are you all here?” you again looked around, you leaned forward towards the railing to peek below, “where are the men and other workers? What’s going on?”

Seonghwa stood closer than others, “we sent them to collect all our necessary items for the journey.”

“Journey?”

“tomorrow before the dawn, we are leaving for Utopia.”

“and where is she?”

This time Wooyoung spoke up, “that’s something about which we are here to talk with you.”

“I don’t know anything about her.”

Even if you wanted to look strong yet you felt so weak under their heavy gazes. All their stares after so many months feeling so unfamiliar and strange. The last time when you had all their gazes on you was when you pointed Mina’s reason to be with you and they accused you of jealousy. They referred you as a child wanting to have their attention, being selfish with others. They said that you don’t have a little feeling towards a girl who seems like a sister.

More like an evil sister, who was there to ruin your family.

“of course you don’t know, y/n.” Wooyoung said softly but you scoffed, “then?”

“We did wrong for not believing you.” Seonghwa’s voice was soft, just a pitch higher than the whisper.

“why? She didn’t agree to sleep with you all?” you smirked, throwing a dirty look towards them.

“Y/n!” Hongjoong’s stern voice made you flinch. His clenched jaw and tight fist, the anger building inside him at your words. But you continued to fuel the fire of anger.

“do you want me to convince her for this? Just to let you know,  I can’t.”

“what are you saying? Why are you thinking of us like this?” Yunho asked you but deep down, he asked it to himself as well. He knew the reasons very well. He knew you were hurt for their deeds but he thought you will understand their ends.

“really? You are asking me this. So what else do you want me to think? That tomorrow morning, when we will be in the bed of the sea and with the best opportunity, you will throw me into the waters.” 

“What are you saying?” Yeosang’s low voice made you glance at him and his orbs searched for a little softness in you. The scene unfolding in front of him was so unusual. Basically, pirates should be the ones with emotionless and rough appearance but here they were asking helplessly from a mere girl.

Mere? No.

From their love. Their heart.

“where is she?” you asked again.

“in the brig.” You raised your brow at Hongjoong’s words. Why is she there? What did she do? Or are they here to take you to lock you up there? goosebumps appeared on your skin but it was hidden under the sleeves of the shirt. Your mind racing with the thought that now how has she accused you guilty this time that they all are here to escort you to the brig.

“I-I haven’t done a-anything.” Your voice broke and you turned around to face the sea.

Whenever you felt suffocated, your feet move on its own to stand at the edge of the quarter deck and inhale the scent of freedom. The village life was so harsh to you and after these pirates took you in with them for the long journey, you felt as if you have started a new life. A new dream with a new life beyond the horizon but last year, they turned their back at you. Leaving you behind all alone.

Seonghwa hugged your shaking body from behind, “hsshh love why are you scared?”

He made himself turned around with you in his hold, making you face them. You looked down to hide the falling tears of fear.

“what happened?” Hongjoong held your chin up to stare in your eyes. Your scared pupils reflecting the hurt and loneliness.

“I will serve you well, masters. But please don’t take me to the brig. I have no where else to go but please don’t end my life.” You wiggled under the oldest one’s hold but he held you tighter. He knew very well that if he lets you go, you would probably run away and won’t talk to them.

“Masters?” San was confused with your tone like others and the way you were addressing them. “why are you calling us this? And we are not taking you anywhere. We are here to…apologize.”

Your raging yet scared eyes stared at him, “apologize? For what? You have already given up on me. you all left me alone for…. For that girl. Calling me selfish because I wanted my lovers away from an outsider. Blaming me for every little mishap caused to her. Trusting the false accusations against me.”

You again tried to break free when he gripped your arms tighter, “stay still. You are not going anywhere unless we are done speaking with each other.”

“I don’t want to talk with you all.” But deep down you want to talk to them. Shout at them. You want to look at them longer, feel the warmth in their embrace. You want to feel their love for you again. If there’s still any feelings left for you.

“y/n…we didn’t give up on you for her.” Jongho spoke up and looked over his brothers. He realized how they have messed up the relationship for these past months because the new girl really lured them into trusting the lies but in the end, Yeosang really found out her real intentions behind all this.

“Yeosang found out that she befriended us to destroy us.” Mingi said and nodded along with Yeosang. The surgeon sat on the wooden drum and leaned forward, “she lied to us that she stays alone here. She has been sent from our enemy.”

“but still you all trusted her once. You all believed when she said I’m related to the captain Chan. You all even kept watch on me to see if I’m betraying you all.” You hissed and stepped forward when you felt the grip loosened around you. You glared back at him and walked towards the stool beside the boxes and sat on it. Wooyoung was standing closer to you.

Tears fell from his eyes when he saw your figure tired and lonely. They really kept themselves so busy to even take a little look at you in all these months.

“we are really sorry for that, y/n.” Hongjoong apologized and glanced at others.

“speak for yourself.” You rubbed your eyes and wiped the tears from the cheek, “I don’t think each of you is feeling the same.”

“No, it’s true. We are really sorry.” Seonghwa supported the captain’s words. Wooyoung slide down against the boxes and leaned back, “we shouldn’t have doubted you.”

Yunho folded his hands in front. Standing in front of you, looking the perfect pilot of the ship but somewhere a sense of betray reflecting from him. He shook his head, “I don’t know how we trusted her everything and didn’t believe you. I’m really sorry.”

“I know you are hurt, y/n. but please forgive us.” Yeosang stood beside Wooyoung and both of them eagerly waiting for your response.

“You all made me feel like a stowaway in my---your ship. I felt like an enemy lurking around you. You all were spending so much time with her. Your gazes were filled with love and admiration while looking at her but whenever your eyes fell on me, there was visible fire of hatred. It hurt me. I felt like to run away far from you. But I didn’t know where to.”

“This is also your ship. You are the aurora in the night sky for our journey.” San stated and smiled but it quickly disappeared when he saw your teary eyes looking back at him.

Mingi placed his elbow on top of a drum and leaned to his side, “you aren’t a stowaway. You are a part of the family. You are more than that. You are our heart, y/n.”

“didn’t you feel your heart ache while believing a liar and laughing with her despite my presence just near you?” you shot an angry look towards him.

Jongho stepped forward and stood beside the captain, “we are really guilty. Please give us a chance to prove that our love has not wavered.”

You bitterly chuckled, “Love?……pirate’s only love is their desire to sail free all around the sea with their conquered treasure.”

“And, you are our treasure, and our only desire is to be with you.” Wooyoung said it loudly, earning everyone’s attention on him. he flinched when he saw your intense gaze on him. He wanted to hold your hand run to the crows-nest and hug you tightly, promising everything to protect you and to never betray you.

“Where do you go every afternoon for these last few months?” Yunho’s question perked everyone’s ear, even yours. He noticed? Their curious gazes on you made you shift in your place.

“You don’t have to know about it.”

“y/n…please do let us know if you are in any danger.” Jongho asked you politely. You shook your head and looked to your side, avoiding their eyes. You didn’t notice when San came in front and kneeling. “Please, tell me.”

You casted a glance at him then to others before looking at your hands, “I was planning to run away with a help of a friend.”

“Run away with a friend?”

“His name is Ten. You all were busy ignoring me all these months…almost a year. He is a sailor and we met at a fortune teller shop. He offered me a helping hand to have a life on my own.”

San was shocked, “you trusted him?”

You nodded, “like you all trusted her. I have heard from others and they all were praising him. He is a good person. He listened to my stories every day, he showed me around the place, laughed with me, taught me new things……he spent time with me.” you paused and nodded to yourself before continuing, “maybe I’m selfish…I’m selfish because I want you all to myself. I felt jealous seeing you with her. Or maybe I should have open myself to others, should let myself to make more friends so that even if you think of leaving me one day. I should not feel hopeless but can continue my life ahead. Not beyond the horizon but beyond those mountains and low valleys.”

“Y/n…don’t leave us like this.” Wooyoung scooted towards you and the captain and quartermaster stepped closer, followed by others. They were surrounding you and you were sitting like a helpless one under their shadows.

“and why? How can I trust that you all will not accuse me of betraying again?”

Hongjoong glance at Seonghwa before stating, “if you leave us then we will be scattered, y/n.”

“and what about me? you all already made my feelings shattered when you all chose her over me because she proved me as a liar with some fake evidence. You all broke your own rules.”

Don’t trust a lie and never betray your family. --- their only rule.

Yeosang shook his head, “no, y/n. it won’t happen again.” Mingi nodded when agreeing with him. the scenario can’t be ever believed that the notorious group of pirates are helplessly asking forgiveness to you.

Before Yunho could speak whatever he was going to, you spoke up making him shut, “I really loved you all. When I promised not to betray you, I meant it. Even if you kill me someday, I will still have a belief that you are the only family I ever got in my life.”

“Y/n…”San whispered your name not to show his weak voice. 

“Are you not leaving us, right?” Mingi asked you when you stood up.

“I don’t know but I’m going to meet him now.” You placed your fingers over the belt to feel the knife well hidden underneath it. Hongjoong held your elbow stopping you from walking further, “you are not going anywhere.”

“And you are no one to tell me anything.” You jerked off his hand.

Yunho blocked your way when you turned towards the gangway. You shot him a glare but he returned the similar gaze directed to your soul, “don’t be stubborn. We are leaving tomorrow and don’t go anywhere today. We have to deal with Mina---”

“don’t say her name in-front of me!” you grabbed his coat and clenched your jaw. His hand moved up to cup your cheek but you swatted it away. “don’t touch me.” you pushed him aside. They watched how you stumbled a little while walking down the gangway and jumped to the shore from the last step. Seonghwa signalled something towards San and the latter nodded before following behind you.         

And in that moment, as the sun dipped below the horizon and the stars began to twinkle overhead, they knew that you had a choice to make—a choice between holding onto the pain of the betrayal or embracing the promise of a future filled with love and redemption.

You stopped in your track before entering the market, heart soaring with the knowledge that true love conquers all—even the darkest depths of the sea. And your true love really pulled them towards you again.

For in the end, it is not the storms or the tempests that define their journey, but rather the unwavering belief that no matter how far they may drift apart, they will always find their way back to each other, guided by the light of love that burns eternal in the darkness. And so, as the waves carry them toward new horizons and unknown shores, embark on a voyage of discovery—one filled with adventure, passion, and the promise of a love that will endure for all eternity.

Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @anyamaris @yeoobin @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames @dinonuguaegi @oreharuuu @hwanring @sanwifesstuff @kiwiisnthereoops @kiwiraccoon @hyuukah @kazscara @aceofspadesbiofalltrades @nvdhrzn [open!]

[eightmakesonebraincell]

[fic rec mlist] ot8 x reader | multi x reader

main mlist | next (member-specific)

only general themes and tags are listed - please read through the author's specific tags and warnings

both sfw and nsfw fics are included. minors please dni with nsfw fics and respect the age restrictions put into place by the writers (suggestive, smut, and trigger warnings are highlighted in red)

🩶 favourites

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last updated: 01 april 2024

[skzdust]

Both Pretty

THIS IS SMUT. MINORS DNI.

First Ateez fic (that I've posted haha)!!!! Shout out to @mirohs-aurora-society discord for this one. @bunnliix and @potatomountain this is for you 🫶

Summary: You and your boyfriend Hongjoong decide to go for a picnic at a secluded park... and you like to make him beg.

Pairing: sub!Hongjoong x afab reader

Includes: "baby", sub!Hongjoong, picnic date, hand job, riding, begging, "pretty", skirt Hongjoong, "slut" in a playful degradation way, unprotected vaginal sex (please use condoms and pee after sex!!)

Word count: 1.4k

Taglist (Comment on a post/send an ask if you'd like to be added): @weirdowithaphone, @caught-in-the-afterglow, @palindrome969, @skzstan12345, @katsukis1wife,@hyunjinsjeans, @somethingkindazainy, @silverstarburst

Network: @mirohs-aurora-society

Reblogs, likes, comments all appreciated!!!

Masterlist

-----

You gently place your hand on Hongjoong’s thigh, your thumb rubbing his leg through the fabric of his skirt. He looks at you, his eyes wide and his lips parted. 

“Yeah, baby?” You gently squeeze, and he gives you a long blink before smiling.

“Nothing.”

“Mhm.” You hum, moving your hand to adjust your hair. “Yeah. Nothing.”

He throws his head back with far more drama than is really necessary, looking up at the sky through the trees with a huge grin. “I just like when you touch me, is that so wrong?”

You feign shock. “Do you? I had no idea! It’s not like you beg for it on the regular or anything.”

“Beg? Doesn’t sound like something I’d do.” He looks at you, and you know he’s egging you on, trying to get you to get him to beg. 

Luckily for Hongjoong, him begging is something you both deeply enjoy. 

“Yeah, sure, what was it you were saying last night? ‘Fuck me deeper, please, please, please’?” You’re still being nice, but he flushes a pretty red, looking down. 

“I don’t— ah—” He lets out a breathy sigh as you find his thigh again, moving further in and further up this time to stroke where his leg meets his hip with your fingertips.

“What was that? Didn’t quite catch you there.”

“I don’t remember that.” He composes himself for a second, tilting his head with a big, bratty smile, before you gently run your fingers over his cock through the skirt. That certainly sparks a reaction, and his moan is strangled as he tries to keep himself quiet. 

“I like hearing you, baby. Like it when you moan… and when you beg.” You whisper.

“We’re in a park.” He whines.

“Yeah, a park in the middle of nowhere. A park we came to so we could have a private romantic picnic, then you wore that pretty skirt and that slutty sheer top, and now I really have no choice but to make you beg.”

“You like the outfit?” He sounds pleased, his voice still high.

“I do like the outfit.” You confirm, squeezing his thigh hard. “In fact, I want you to keep it on.”

“Hm?” He tilts his head again.

“I want you to keep it on.” You repeat. “I want you to lay down and pull that skirt up so I can touch you properly.”

He inhales sharply, slowly lifting the skirt up to give you a view of his half-hard cock.

He’s not wearing anything else.

“So pretty, baby.” You murmur, your fingers moving up his leg as his head rests on one of his folded arms. “No underwear… you were all ready for this, weren’t you?”

Hongjoong nods eagerly, his eyes wide. “Yeah.”

“So good for me.” You tease the insides of his thighs with light fingers. “You know what I want from you, don’t you?”

He whimpers, wriggling under your touch. You continue. “C’mon, beg for me, and I’ll give you what you want.”

“Promise?” He sounds so needy it almost makes you dizzy with arousal. You’re confident and cool on the outside, but his sounds and the expressions he’s making make your stomach leap with anticipation.

Your touch grows a little more insistent as you try to drive him crazy. “Promise.”

It takes a few more moments before he sighs. “Please.”

You smile. “Please what?”

“Touch me.” He exhales through his mouth. “Please, please touch me.”

“I’m already touching you.”

“You know what I mean.” He whines. “Don’t make me say it.”

“You should know by now that I’m going to make you say it.” You laugh softly. 

He huffs. “Fine. My cock.”

“What about your cock?” You wrap your hand around it, and where he’d been squirming before, he was suddenly still, the sound of his breath heavy in the air. 

“Please move your hand.”

“Oh, like this?” You let go, moving back to his thigh.

“No, no, please, touch me again, touch my cock, move your hand, um—” he swallows. “Up and down, stroke me, please.”

You smile, bringing your hand back to his length and gently holding it again.

“Please.” He whispers.

“Okay, baby, since you’re begging so pretty for me.”

You give him long strokes, moving your hand up and down at a leisurely pace. His hips push up into your hand, and you let it slide. Although you do love punishing him, that’s for later. Right now you wanna make him squirm, make him beg, make him feel good.

And you can’t deny that it’s making you wet, too. His high moans as you get him off are addictive; the way his gaze is a little distant already, a little blissed out. 

You pull your hand away, and he makes a questioning little noise, his eyebrows knitting together. “Huh?”

You start to get your jeans off. “I know that was, like, the shortest hand job in history, but instead, I’m gonna ride you so good you’ll be seeing stars. Does that sound good?”

His eyes widen. “Yes, yes, please do that.”

You give a small, breathy laugh, straddling him and lining yourself up with his cock. 

You both moan as you sink down onto him. You haven’t been stretched, and it hurts, but you don’t even care, you’re so full of him.

“Please, please, use me, please.” He groans, his hands settling on your waist but not holding you there, just resting.

Fuck.

He’s begging you to use him.

And how can you deny him when he’s been so good for you?

You yank his slutty sheer top down on his arms, exposing his shoulders and bracing your hands on them. “’M gonna use you, baby, okay?”

He nods, looking at you with need in his eyes, his breath quick. “Please.”

You lean down and kiss him, the motion making both of you moan into each others mouths. You pull back, adjusting your hands, and lean over him, looking into his eyes as you begin to move your hips up and down on his cock. 

Hongjoong is a whimpering mess in a matter of minutes, babbling and panting and begging. “Please, please, please keep going, please let me cum, keep using me, please.” He’s exactly the way you like him: needy, pliant, perfect.

Not that you’re not in love with him the rest of the time too, of course. But this version Hongjoong is something special, something only you get to see.

“I know, baby, I know, it’s so good, you’re so good, so fucking good.” Your whispering is broken by the way his cock feels inside you, filling you so deep, pushing the air from your lungs with every motion up and down. 

You realize he’s still in his outfit: his slutty sheer top, which had started out mostly unbuttoned anyway, is pushed most of the way down his arms, and his pretty skirt is bunched up around his waist. His arm has slipped out from under his head, and his pink hair is messy. His eyes are almost glassy, blissed out, and his tongue darts out to lick his lips as he looks at you. He’s stopped being so vocal, but if you’ve fucked all the words out of him, you’re okay with that, too.

You could look at him all day. He’s beautiful.

“Whatcha smiling for?” He mumbles. 

You hadn’t even realized you’d been smiling. “You’re just pretty, baby.”

He smiles, too, closing his eyes. “Pretty?”

“So pretty.”

You keep going, keep riding him, keep using him. You can feel yourself getting close, your hips and your motions growing more and more erratic. You want to cum, you want him to cum, you want to reach that high—

You’d promised Hongjoong he’d be seeing stars, but you are too as you reach your climax, pushing yourself as far down on him as you can. He gives a particularly long moan, and you can feel him cum, too, his release warm inside you.

You fall onto his chest, still wrapped around him, and throw your arms around his neck. Both of you are sweaty, but you don’t really care.

You kiss him. His hands come up to your hair, gently running through it.

“You’re pretty.” He mumbles.

“I already told you that’s you.”

He smiles. “Then we’re both pretty.”

“Both pretty.” You agree. 

[etrnlsanshine]

a master post of (almost) all the fics I've read and enjoyed on here for you all to check out. go show some love to the creators! ✨ are all-time favorites. will be updated for ongoing fics and whenever I find new ones.

most of this is 18+ so please be aware of that. a note for the authors of these fics; if you're reading this, if possible, please lmk if you've changed your @, otherwise it'll be impossible to find these fics again. thanks so much!! <3

also, click here for smau fic recs! i had to split this up cause the links were getting too much, so click here for the solo member fic recs!

OT8/Multiple Members

✨Into The Aurora by @honeyhotteoks series, completed, 35 chapters, idol!OT8 x reader, 18+

✨Hotel California by @mint-yooxgi series, completed, 27 chapters, OT8 x reader, 18+

✨Mists of Celeste by @hongism series, ongoing, chapter 49/?, ? x reader, 18+

✨not all that glitters is gold by @the7thcrow series, ongoing, chapter 10/?, hwa x san x woo x reader

✨Pirate King by @chaseatinydream series, completed, hongjoong x reader, wooyoung x reader

room for three by @honeyhotteoks series, completed, chapter 5/5, seonghwa x yunho x reader, 18+

✨The Answer on AO3 and also on tumblr by @berryunho series, ongoing, chapter 29/?, mingi x reader, hongjoong x reader, san x reader, seonghwa x reader

bloodline on AO3 series, ongoing, chapter 18/?, ? x reader

just between friends by @honeyhotteoks oneshot, yunho x reader x mingi, 15.8k words, 18+

pick a card by @destiny-fics series, completed, 10 chapters, OT8 x reader, 18+

✨like the moon by @sunmoonjune series, ongoing, chapter 17/?, OT8 x reader

dewdrops at dawn by @sunmoonjune oneshot, OT8 x reader, 17.2k words

panini by @smileysuh oneshot, yunho x reader x mingi, 11.8k words, 18+

8th Grade by @smileysuh oneshot, yunho x reader x mingi, 8.9k words, 18+

bingo by @milfgyuu oneshot, wooyoung x reader x yunho, 18+

✨starring role by @nonclassyparty series, completed, chapter 11/11, san x reader, mingi x reader, 18+

✨subtle variations of heartbreak by @nonclassyparty miniseries, completed, 9 chapters

✨in love and lore by @shadowynn series, ongoing, chapter 11/?, OT8 x reader

✨to tempt fate by @mint-yooxgi series, ongoing, chapter 8/?, OT8 x reader

✨paradise gardens by @mint-yooxgi series, ongoing, chapter 13/?, OT8 x reader, 18+

✨morning mist by @mint-yooxgi series, ongoing, chapter 14/?, OT8 x reader

✨the paradigm complex by @shadowynn series, ongoing, chapter 4/?, OT8 x reader

✨this night together by @honeyhotteoks series, ongoing, chapter 9/?, yunho x reader x mingi, a/b/o, 18+

one day at a time by @sorryimananti-romantic oneshot, 18.5k words, seonghwa x reader, yunho x reader

devil’s landing by @efelixer series, ongoing, chapter 12/?, ? x reader

oh my *** by @ohmyamor oneshot, ot8 x reade, 10.2k words

✨unconventional first encounters with ateez by @bluehwale headcanon (i love this)

compromise by @cyberpxnk oneshot, 11k words, yunho x reader x seonghwa, 18+

[honeyhotteoks]

into the aurora - chapter thirty-three (ot8)

chapter thirty-three: hard truths and harder memories

chapter summary: coming back to the dorms is hard, and it's time to tell the rest of your boyfriends the truth about where you spent christmas and why

warnings: discussions of grief, loss, past trauma, minor character death (in past), reference to alcohol abuse, description of a nightmare, protective ot8, hella protective yunho, comforting ot8

pairings: ot8 x reader

genre: fluff, angst, romance, ateez ensemble x reader, polyamory, non-idol!reader, fem!reader, smut

word count: 5.9K

(previous chapter) (next chapter) | AO3 | masterlist

The drive home is quiet. Your nerves are starting to bubble up at the thought of seeing the rest of them again, at the thought of confessing where you were for the holiday and why. Every text you had sent them over the past week a thinly veiled lie. As expected, spending Christmas with a family again, any family, had put you into an emotional place you had carefully locked away years ago. 

As you get closer and closer to Seoul, the time to your destination clock clicks down to under an hour. 

Both of your phones make a sharp ding and you jump at the sound. 

“Everything’s going to be fine,” Yunho keeps his eyes on the road, but reaches over and takes your hand, resting your collapsed hands on your leg. 

“Is it?” Your voice is small. 

“I’m telling you it will be,” 

“I lied, Yunho,” You sigh, “they have every right to be angry.” 

“You lied to me too,” he says, squeezing your hand, “and I understood. They will understand, no one’s going to be upset. And I’ll be there the whole time.” 

You nod, and turn over your phone to look at the messages. The group chat has been quiet today with everyone traveling home. You and Yunho are intentionally the last to arrive home, wanting to only have to explain things to them once, you’re not sure you can do it any more than that. 

y/n when are you getting back? - Seonghwa’s message makes you more nervous. 

we miss our girl - San, and you can almost imagine the hurt expression in his eyes when he realizes every text from the past week wasn't real. 

“We’re almost home, just leave it,” Yunho glances over at you studying the texts. 

“They’ll worry,” you sigh. 

“They’ll live.” Yunho shakes his head. Since the incident with his mother, he’s changed. You can feel the way he hovers close, and though he was still careful and reserved in front of his family, you suspect it was still obvious even to them. 

Yunho holds your hand for as long as he can, until Seoul stretches out before you, and he slips on a mask and a ballcap just like before. The end of the drive is over in a snap, and you can feel your anxiety building as Yunho drives the car into the garage and pulls into a parking space. 

He removes his mask and cap again, and turns his body towards you now that the ignition is off. “Ready?” 

“Yeah,” you nod, but you’re not sure that’s true. 

“Do you want me to tell them?” He offers, smoothing his hand up your arm, “if it’s too hard to talk about again, I can do it.” 

“No,” you shake your head and smile softly at him, “I think I should be the one to explain.”

“Okay,” he takes a breath and pops his seatbelt free, “I’ll get the bags.” 

You nod and he makes his way out of the car to open the trunk. You take a few deep breaths, steadying yourself. Yunho’s right of course, they’ll understand. But it feels hard now to explain, the week with Yunho’s family has been dragging your emotions up to the surface faster than before, and you’re afraid that you won’t be able to give your usual speech.

The sound of the trunk closing startles you back into reality, and you get out of the car to meet him. 

“Okay?” He checks. 

“As I’ll ever be,” you nod. 

“Come here,” he leans close, pressing his lips to yours and easing you with a kiss. 

“Yunho,” you catch his hand as he pulls away. 

“Hmm?” His eyes are bright and kind, and a comfort. 

“If I forget to tell you later,” you murmur, “thank you for taking me home with you,” 

His face softens and he brushes your cheek softly, “Thank you for trusting me,” 

You close your eyes tight for a moment, his words striking you, and you nod, pulling away from him. “Let’s go,” 

You swallow tightly as you open up the door to the dorms. It’s buzzing with energy already, clattering sounds in the kitchen and the tv on. Everything’s perfectly normal, and you hate that you’re about to burst the happy, post holiday cheer bubble. 

“There you are!” Wooyoung’s voice lights up and you twist to see him rushing towards you from the hallway. 

“Hey,” You start, but he pulls you forwards to lock his lips on yours. 

He pulls back, grinning, “How was your Christmas, baby?” 

You can’t quite speak, not yet, and at your lack of response his brows furrow. When the rest of them see you, your stomach clenches. You hear Yunho coming in through the door, the sound of your suitcases dropping behind you, and Wooyoung looks over your shoulder. 

“Yunho!” Wooyoung shifts past you to hug his friend but by then everyone else is gathering in the living room at the sound of you returning home. 

“Did you get home at the same time?” Seonghwa smiles, “That’s funny,” 

“Yeah,” you say but your voice is quiet. 

“Is everything okay?” Yeosang asks, immediately noticing your tight tone. 

Wooyoung steps back, and Yunho’s hand lands on the back of your neck, giving you a comforting squeeze. 

“Y/n?” San asks, his eyes flicking between you both. 

“Um,” you cross your arms, holding yourself tightly, “I have something to tell you.” 

“What’s wrong?” Mingi’s on alert, his eyes on his best friend. 

“Did something happen?” Hongjoong takes a step forward, holding your gaze. 

There’s a long beat of silence, and you’re working up to it when Yunho gives you another squeeze, “It’s okay.” 

With a sigh, the words rush out of you, “I didn’t go home for Christmas.” 

“What do you mean?” San says, confusion all over his face, “Where did you go?” 

You look at Yunho, the nerves getting to you. You open your mouth but no words come out, and Yunho nods. He breaks his gaze from you to look at everyone else, “She came home with me.” 

The silence stretches, everyone confused, and then Wooyoung’s jaw sets, “Is something going on with you two?” 

“Wait,” your head snaps back to him, “what?” 

“Woo,” Yunho shakes his head. 

Quick to conclusions, Wooyoung takes a step towards you, “You lied to us… to me. You both did,” he takes another step, “what am I supposed to think?” 

“Back up.” Yunho’s tone is hard. 

“What the fuck?” Wooyoung locks eyes with Yunho, his short temper getting shorter. 

“Do you want an explanation or do you want to keep accusing us of… I don’t even know what,” Yunho’s hand slides down your back, his hand warmly splayed between your shoulder blades. 

Wooyoung huffs and shakes his head, disbelief in his features, “I thought it was all of us together. If you started to feel differently you should have fucking said something,” His tone is so much colder than you’ve ever heard. 

“Wooyoung, I’m not joking. Knock it off.” Yunho shifts forwards and finally, finally you find your words. 

“It is all of us,” your voice is strained and you clear it, swallowing tightly and looking to the others, “It’s nothing like that at all, I wouldn’t ever,” 

“Take a breath,” Seonghwa says calmly, moving towards you all and tugging Wooyoung back by his arm, “and you,” he shakes his head at Wooyoung, “keep your mouth shut for a second.” 

Wooyoung opens his mouth again but the look Seonghwa gives him is firm and he swallows his words. 

“I don’t know where to start,” you manage, looking to San and Yeosang for comfort where they stand next to each other, but both of their expressions are wary. 

Mingi’s voice cuts through clearly, “Yunho, what’s going on?” 

Yunho looks at you, a silent question in his gaze, and he’s pleading with you to let him help. You nod, and look to the floor. 

You hear Yunho’s sigh and he turns back to the group, “Y/n didn’t have anywhere to go for Christmas, and I didn’t feel like it was fair to leave her here alone. I asked her to come home with me so she’d be around family, and that’s all it is. I know we lied. I’m not saying that’s okay, but you,” he looks at Wooyoung, “I can’t believe you’d say that.” 

Wooyoung stays silent. 

“Why lie then?” San finally speaks and you look up to him, “why not just tell us your plans changed?” 

“I need to tell you something,” you can feel the pin pricks of tears but you breathe them back, “but it’s hard for me to talk about. I know you’re angry, but I can’t get through this if you’re looking at me like that,” 

San’s expression clears instantly. 

“Can we,” Hongjoong cuts in, floundering a little but trying to bring things back to a calm center, “I don’t know, can we sit down and talk?” 

“Yeah,” your voice is small. 

Everyone moves towards the couches and seats, Seonghwa tugging on Wooyoung’s arm again to get him to follow even though his expression is still hard. Yunho pushes you forwards, and you end up in the far corner of the couch, Yunho taking his place between you and everyone else, trying to give you some ounce of space to get this out. 

“Okay,” Hongjoong stays standing, and he leans against the far wall. 

“I don’t,” you look to Yunho, “where should I start?” 

“The beginning,” he rubs a hand up your back, “tell them what you told me.” 

The tension in the room changes, from suspicion to concern in a moment and the penny drops for Mingi. He’s the only other one who knows something exists in your past that you find hard to talk about, and you watch him raise his head and meet your eyes. 

With a deep breath, you start. “I lied when I said I was going home for Christmas, I was lying the whole time.” 

They remain quiet, shifting in their seats at your words but quiet. 

“I lied because I didn’t want to tell you the truth,” you take Yunho’s hand in yours, gripping it tight, “I don’t have a family to go home to anymore.” 

“What?” San’s voice is small, soft, and he shifts forwards in his seat to get a better look at you. 

“What happened?” Yeosang’s voice is low, a calm tone that grounds you. 

“They died,” it’s the fastest way to say it, the easiest way even though the word feels heavy on your tongue, “my mother and my brother.”

“Oh, jagiya,” Seonghwa murmurs, and you can’t stop the tears that well in your eyes and you try to draw them back but all you manage is a hitched breath. 

“Yunho,” you squeeze his hand. 

“Okay,” he soothes, leaning into you, his arm warmly around you, “I’ve got you,” 

“When?” Jongho asks softly. 

Yunho picks up where you leave off, “Four years ago. It was a car accident, it happened near the holidays.” 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Hongjoong’s voice is strained, taut with emotion of his own. 

“I haven’t talked about it in years,” you scrub the tears away from your face and lean into Yunho further, “I didn’t want to bring it back up, and it just seemed… easier not to tell you.”

“Baby,” San’s voice is soft, and you feel Yunho tense next to you. Your tears bubble up faster at his tone and you shake your head. 

“Please, don’t,” you know it’s not his fault, you know they’re all feeling just like Yunho did last week, but you can’t take all of their eyes looking like they do, “and I’m sorry, but this week has been hard enough. I had my reasons,” 

Wooyoung has been quiet this whole time, eyes downcast and hands clasped in his lap, but at your words he stands and grabs his jacket from the hook on the wall by the door. 

“Where the fuck are you going?” Jongho says, his voice firm and surprising you. 

“Out.” You don’t turn, but you hear the door slam and the noise gives you a start.

You really can’t be here anymore. Not like this, not with this tension or with Wooyoung acting like he was. You pull away from Yunho and climb off the couch, “I need to be alone,” 

“y/n,” Yunho catches your hand but you shake him off. 

“Not right now,” You can’t meet his eyes, any of them, and you move through the apartment as quickly as you can, holing yourself up in the bathroom and locking the door tight. 

You feel bad for leaving Yunho out there to explain the rest, but everything has overwhelmed you so fast, and at least here it’s more quiet. 

A knock sounds on the door, above where your cheek is pressed to the wood and you jump back. “What?” You sigh. 

“Babe,” Mingi says, but his voice is normal and calm, “Do you need your meds?” 

“No,” you tell him, sniffing back tears. 

“Okay,” he says, “I’ll leave you alone, but if you do just call me. I’ll be close.” 

You yank the door open, and Mingi looks startled when he sees you, but you reach for him and grab his shirt, tugging him forwards into the bathroom so you can shut the door behind him. 

“Hey,” he says, looking you over and keeping his arms by his sides. 

“Hey,” 

“I thought you wanted to be alone?” He asks. 

“I do,” you insist, floundering a little when he raises his eyebrows at you as if to say - Then what am I doing here? 

“Do you want to talk about it?” He settles on. 

“I really don’t,” you sigh, “I just spent all week talking about it.” 

“Then come here,” he opens arms and beckons you in, and it takes about a half of a second for you to spring forward into his embrace. He folds his arms around you, leaning back against the door and cradling you against his chest, fingers stroking your hair and steady breath grounding you. 

“Mingi,” your voice is muffled in his shirt. 

“Yeah?” 

“Why is Woo so mad at me?” You can’t get the image of his angry expression out of your mind. 

“He’s a selfish prick,” Mingi shrugs. 

You push back from his chest and meet his eyes, sniffing back tears, “Don’t say that!”

“Sorry,” Mingi corrects himself, “he’s acting like a selfish prick.” 

He’s not necessarily wrong and his blunt assessment of the situation takes the wind right out of your sails. You bite your lip, worrying it for a moment, “Are you angry with me?” 

“Nope,” he shakes his head. 

“I lied to you,” You press him. 

“And then you told me the truth,” his eyes narrow a little, “do you want me to be mad at you?” 

“No!” You sigh, leaning into his chest again but still looking up at him, “I just would understand it if you were.” 

“y/n,” he smiles a little, “I trust you, and you know I trust Yunho. That’s all there is to it,” 

“You’re too good to me,” you dip forwards, pressing your forehead to the center of his chest and holding onto him, fingers wound in his shirt. 

“Shh,” he hushes your words and cups the back of your head, “stop worrying for a minute and let me hold you.” 

So you do. Mingi holds you for a while, warm and comforting around you, and though you can hear voices outside the insulated space of the bathroom it’s easy to drown out when you focus on the rhythmic thump of his heart under your cheek. 

After a little longer he rubs your back, “Is there anything I can get you?” 

You shake your head against him, “No, but I should probably go back out there.” You pull back from his arms and cross to the sinks, looking yourself over in the wide mirror. 

“You don’t have to,” he offers. 

“No, no,” You flip the water on, “I’m better now. Thank you,” 

“Always,” he shrugs as if what he’s giving you is nothing, even though his steady presence just held you in one piece and calmed every breath of anxiety over Wooyoung leaving. 

“Can you give me a few minutes? I’ll be out after,” You glance up at him. 

“On it,” He nods, “I’ll be out there when you’re ready,” 

You smile at him, watching as he slips out the door and secures it shut again. Alone in the room again, you take a deep, full breath. Your eyes are rimmed red, limbs tired, and head starting to ache a little from crying. You splash cold water on your face and pat it dry, and spend a few minutes letting yourself relax and come back to center before you finally open the door. 

When you hear their voices, low and whispered in the living room, it stops you in your tracks. You’re ready to see them now, or at least try to, but the sound of Wooyoung’s voice makes your step falter and your heart start pounding again. 

“I got it,” he says, and you realize you’re coming into the center of their conversation. You wonder when he got back.

“I really don’t think you do,” Yeosang’s voice is centered and even, but firm. 

“I said I’ll talk to her,” Wooyoung sighs, “I know I fucked up.” 

There’s a long beat of silence, and then Yunho says, “You owe her more than talking to her. You owe her an apology.” 

“I know,” Wooyoung says. 

“I just,” Yunho sounds exasperated, and you can picture him shaking his head, “don’t ever talk to her like that again.” 

“Yunho,” Wooyoung starts to say. 

“No,” Yunho cuts him off, “never. You weren’t with her this week,” he says and your stomach tightens, “that was hard for her and you made it harder.”

“You shouldn’t have left,” Yeosang says, “you really upset her.” 

“I just needed a minute,” he says, protesting a little. He’s quiet for a moment, and when he speaks again his voice is tight, “I couldn’t stop thinking about Kyungmin. I needed to clear my head,”

“You’re not the only one with a brother.” Jongho’s voice startles you, and you look up, straining to hear better, “You think I wasn’t thinking about the same thing? Or Hongjoong? None of us left her like that.”  

“That isn’t what I meant,” Wooyoung sighs. 

“Let’s everybody relax,” Seonghwa’s voice is calm, but firm, “none of us are supporting her if we’re fighting with each other. This isn’t about us.” 

The long pause is draining, you want simultaneously to go to them and to run away. You want to be alone again with Yunho. You want to be surrounded by them all. You look back to the door of the bathroom, wondering if you should just hide yourself away again. 

Wooyoung’s small voice, laced with emotion, brings you out of your spiraling thoughts. “How is she now?” 

“Upset,” Mingi says with finality, “she thinks you’re angry with her.” 

“I’m not,” Wooyoung says, “not at all,” 

“You should probably tell her that.” You can practically see the squared set of Mingi’s shoulders, his hard jaw. He’s the angry one, and you can feel it from here even hidden behind the wall, despite how calm and collected he was with you only minutes ago.

You’ve cried enough today, but they bubble up inside you again and your breath catches tightly in your throat. 

“y/n?” Jongho’s voice comes, and you hear them shifting on the couch just past your hiding place. 

You want them, you decide. 

You push around the corner, tears falling in earnest now when you see them. Wooyoung is seated at the very far end of the sectional by the window, a stricken look on his face, and the rest of them crowded around. They’re circled up like it’s a team meeting, and in a way you suppose it kind of is. 

Yunho stands when he sees you, a hand outstretched, but your body moves on its own, past him and directly for Wooyoung. 

His eyes widen, catching you as you barrel into his chest and bury your head in his neck. He drags you up with ease, tucking you onto his lap and he tightens his arms around you. His lips are close to your ear, “I’m sorry, baby, I’m so sorry,” 

You shake your head, your hand gripping the sleeve of his shirt as you try not to cry harder, “Don’t leave like that,” your voice is muffled, but he catches it and he nods, murmuring hushed promises and sweeping his hand up and down the shaking plane of your back. 

“What can I do?” His voice is small, tense and full of tears of his own. 

There’s nothing- it’s already forgiven. You know they’re angry with him, but you also know Wooyoung. He’s quick to everything - sharp with his tongue more often than not, loyal to a fault and protective, sometimes too protective. The flicker of betrayal you had seen in his eyes when he thought you might be leaving him had rooted you to the spot. The deep seated fear that you had tried them all on for size and then chosen one of his best friends, and then lied. 

You’re holding onto him tight, tears bringing you back into a headache. At your lack of response, you feel Wooyoung shift around you, “Yunho, what calmed her down before?” 

“Don’t rush her,” Yunho says softly, his voice shifting closer, “just give her time.” 

Wooyoung stays steady, his cheek leaning on the top of your head.

“I have to make a call,” Hongjoong murmurs from your side a few moments later, and you feel his hand brush over the top of yours where it clings to Wooyoung’s shoulder, “I’m not going far. Just to the garage, okay?” 

You nod, taking a deep breath and sighing shaky and hot against Wooyoung’s chest. 

You hear the door open and close, and then the weight of someone sitting down next to you and Wooyoung shifts the balance on the couch. 

“y/n,” Jongho’s voice is warm and low by your side, and you feel his warm hand land steady in the middle of your back, “why don’t you come lay down,” 

You suck in a breath, controlling your tears for a moment and pull back from Wooyoung’s neck, “What?” 

He tucks your hair behind your ear and glances to Wooyoung before looking back to you and smiling softly, “Come rest a bit,” 

Wooyoung nods, “That’s a good idea,” he adds, looking thankful for Jongho’s calm intervention. 

“I’m tired,” You manage, releasing a shaky breath. 

“I know,” Jongho nods, “but you can rest now.” Wooyoung disentangles your arms from around him, and Jongho reaches out, taking you with a steady grip and easing you down. It takes a bit of maneuvering, but after a moment or two you’re resting with your head on Jongho’s lap and your legs spread over Wooyoung. 

The breath that leaves you is stammered and tight, and Jongho looks down at you with warm eyes. “I’m so tired,” You repeat, the words slipping out. 

“Mhm,” He eases you, “just sleep. None of us are going anywhere, we’re all right here.” 

Wooyoung takes your hand and settles them clasped over your stomach and gives you a squeeze. He looks up and nods to Seonghwa across the room, “Throw me that,” 

In a moment a blanket is tucked around you, and Jongho’s warm hand rests on your cheek, “Okay?” He checks. 

“Mhm,” you manage and your eyes drift closed. 

When you wake again, you’re alone. It’s disorienting and dizzying, but the couch above you is cold and there’s no trace of them anywhere. Nervous knots tense up inside you, and you stumble forward, checking the kitchen first but finding it just as empty. 

“Hello?” You call, your voice dying off in the silence of the apartment. “Anyone?” 

At the lack of response the hair on your arms stands up and a chill runs across your shoulders. Your feet move you before you can think it through and you open every one of their bedroom doors, every room just as empty as the last. Fear bubbles strangely in your belly and you rush back to the main living space, searching for your phone and finding it tucked in one of the couch cushions. 

You dial Yunho first. Then San. Seonghwa. Hongjoong. After the fourth time you hit a voicemail box you toss your phone aside, a frustrated sharp sound in your throat. 

Only an hour had passed according to the clock. They wouldn’t have just left you, not like this. Jongho promised. They all did. 

You rush for the garage door as the panic builds again, yanking it open and running out into the cold. It’s silent here too, no trace of a manager or one of the boys to give you even a shred of information about where they are. 

“Fuck,” The words leave your lips, your breath curling in a cloud in the cold garage. 

The sound of high heels clicking across the asphalt startles you, and at the far end of the garage you see the source of the noise. You can’t quite make her out, not perfectly, but the outline of her figure seems familiar, the dark green hue of her jacket and the crop of her haircut. 

She climbs into the driver’s side of a small SUV, turning the car over and flooding the ground in front of you with bright white light. You shield your eyes, squinting a bit into the light and you can just barely make out a second figure in the backseat of the car. 

“Hello?” You call out, your eyes adjusting a bit now to the light change. 

You hear the window of the car roll down, but nothing prepares you for the sound of her voice - a sound carefully plucked from the deepest recesses of memory and thread through the moment, “y/n, hurry up! We’re going to be late!”

You’re moving before your mind can catch up again, jogging towards the car, “Eomma!”

The car reverses, twisting around in the parking garage to face the exit and you shout, “No! Eomma, wait!”

“You’ve got thirty seconds, young lady!” 

“I’m here!” You call back, but the car starts to roll forwards. The sight of it stuns you - you haven’t seen it in so long, the stickers just the same and the ding in the bumper that your father always said he was going to get to. 

You’re running now, and as the car speeds up you push to a sprint, legs burning as you push yourself, “Eomma! Tae Hyun! I’m here!”

As the car turns to descend another level in the garage your feet skid out and you crash to the ground, a crunch in your knee, the heels of your hands rubbed raw on the ground. You spring back up, tears blurring your vision but you can still see the car and you run faster, your heart pounding. Your lungs are burning, sharp and present pain lancing through your chest. 

When the car stops suddenly at the exit of the parking garage you nearly collide into the side of it, and you brace your hands on the side, body shaking and chest heaving with the effort. You grab the door handle of the car and tug, but you stop, unable to swing the door open wide. You’re trembling, stomach churning. With a deep breath you pull the door back and lift your eyes. 

The way you come out of sleep is sudden and gasping, sitting up quick and bracing yourself on your forearm, your vision clearing as your eyes adjust to the bright light of the living room. 

“Baby?” San’s voice cuts through and you look at him, sitting across from you on his own section of the couch with his elbows on his knees, concern written into all his features. 

There’s the sound of clattering dishes in the kitchen and Wooyoung and Yunho reappear in your line of sight. With a shift behind you, a body comes closer and warm arms wrap around your shaking form. You recognize the bracelet on his wrist and the feeling of his chest and sink back into Jongho’s embrace. 

“What’s wrong?” Wooyoung asks you, glancing to San, “What’s going on?” 

You shake your head, “Bad dream,”

His eyes soften, looking just as watery as earlier, but Jongho’s hand settles over your chest and draws your attention, “Your heart’s pounding,” 

“I know,” You breathe. 

“Come here,” He pushes you up into a sitting position and slots up behind you, “It’s alright,” he soothes, “you’re safe.” 

“The same dream?” Yunho asks you softly, remembering the way you slept so fitfully that first night after his mother had you light the candles. 

You shake your head, “Not exactly,” 

Jongho kisses your head, running his free hand comfortingly along your thigh and you let it ground you, the beat of your heart regulating itself. 

“I need to get up,” You murmur to him a few moments later, and he releases you immediately, keeping a steady hand on your back as you pull yourself to your feet. 

You’re up, but there’s nowhere really to go and you stay still, letting your breath come back to you. 

San appears in front of you, a gentle hand on your waist, “How are you feeling?” 

“Exhausted,” You admit to him, “and terribly sorry,” 

“No,” he shakes his head vehemently, “there’s nothing to be sorry for. For any of us,” He looks across the living room and for the first time since you told them, you realize they’re all still here, gathered and ready. 

“God,” you sigh, sweeping your hands through your hair, “I don’t deserve any of you.” 

“Stop it,” Mingi dismisses. 

“We want to help,” San cups your cheek, kissing you softly, “with whatever you need.” 

There’s that ache again. “I know,” You murmur, “I don’t really know what I need right now,” 

“Let’s start with something to eat,” Wooyoung jumps back in, smiling at you, “go sit, I’ll bring it over.” 

It takes about a second for you to decide to worm your way between Seonghwa and Hongjoong. Where Seonghwa opens his arms to you immediately, tucking you between them perfectly, Hongjoong makes a soft noise of surprise and his eyebrows raise high, the serious expression that had been on his face a moment ago dissipating. 

“Hello, love,” Seonghwa murmurs, voice honeyed and warm. 

“Hi,” You sigh, reaching for Hongjoong’s hand so you can tug him a little closer. 

“Are you okay?” Hongjoong squeezes your hand, glancing up to Seonghwa. 

“Not really,” You say honestly, “but that’s okay.” 

Wooyoung returns with a bowl, a spoon, and a pair of chopsticks and he waves off everyone’s hands on you, crouching in front of you and offering the meal over, “Here,” 

“Jook?” You blink, staring down at the bowl of rice porridge topped beautifully with seaweed and egg, “But I’m not sick,” 

Wooyoung passes you the bowl anyways and drops a broad hand on your knee, “Heartsick is a kind of sick,” 

Your emotions well at his words, the ache deep inside you throbbing like a fresh injury, “Woo,” you whisper. 

He smiles, soft and a little sad himself, “I’m so sorry for earlier, baby. I should have just listened to you.” 

You shake your head, the idea of talking about it again exhausting, “You don’t have to apologize anymore, Woo. You’re forgiven,” 

He watches you a moment more and then takes a shuddering breath; he has to clear his throat to make it through, “Alright, eat, eat,” He backs away, curling around San as you start to eat. 

The jook is warming, soul comforting and easing. Your body relaxes and you lean into Seonghwa’s shoulder, “Tell me about your Christmases,” you smile, “let’s not be sad anymore,” 

Your eyes connect with Yunho briefly, and he silently mouths, “Are you sure?” 

You pull your eyes away and refocus on San, “Sannie, how did Hanuel like her gift? I want to know everything,” 

It takes a moment for them to relax, to get over the nervous stepping on eggshells that is the stark reveal of your past. Yunho watches carefully, on edge for anything that might set you off after a long week of learning your triggers and patterns, but nothing comes. The ache in your chest might be there, but the weight off of your shoulders now that they know is indescribable. Hearing about their families now, their holidays, all of a sudden seems possible. 

 The tense argument is forgotten by the end of the night, as is your headache. You know they want to ask more questions, but you trust Yunho to fill them in as best he can to save you from it, at least for tonight. 

In bed later, you’re sandwiched between San and Yeosang, the two you tugged into the bedroom with you, asking them between gentle kisses if they would just hold you while you slept. 

It’s Yeosang who whispers first, nose to nose with you on the pillow, “Are you worried about your nightmare?”

You hadn’t been, not the entire night talking to them until you finally laid down. “A little,” You murmur. 

San kisses your hair, gathering you close and Yeosang cups your cheek, “What was it about?” 

You don’t have any tears left, not after everything, but your voice is still small when you murmur, “You left,” 

“What?” Yeosang’s brows furrow, “What do you mean?” 

“In the dream,” You sigh, “I woke up in the dream and you were all gone. I couldn’t find you anywhere, and when I went into the garage there was-” Your voice catches. 

“What was there?” San asks softly. 

“I saw my mom, and I tried to make it to the car but I couldn’t get there,” You confess. 

Yeosang’s eyes soften considerably, “Oh, love,” 

You shake your head, “It’s okay, I’ve dreamt that before but… never here in our house. It felt so real,” 

“They may be gone,” San kisses your shoulder, “and for that, I’m so sorry, jagiya, but we’re not leaving. We’re not going anywhere,” 

You let yourself believe it, even if just for tonight, and you nod. 

“We’ll share this with you,” San runs a warm hand up your arm, “you don’t have to carry it alone anymore.” 

Yeosang nods in agreement and you press your eyes closed, nodding and gripping them tightly. You know you’re not alone anymore, you haven’t been alone in months now. It’s something you’re terrified to lose. 

They hold you close, lights off now and breath easing into the deep rhythm of sleep. This feeling of love for them keeps coming, flooding your chest and turning your stomach into fluttering knots. It’s getting harder and harder to ignore, harder and harder to brush past with every touch and comforting kiss. But you need them, just for a little while longer. 

[hoshiseon-digiarc]

✱ atz, svt, txt, & skz fic recs ✱

MDNI 18+ (most if not all recs are smut)

fem / gen. neutral reader unless stated otherwise

★ – personal faves!

ATEEZ

☆ the drill — yunho x reader [m] @byuntrash101

★ the thing about pretty boys — seonghwa x reader [m] @wonusite

☆ first snow — wooyoung x reader [m] @cheollipop

☆ deep down (abo) — alpha!ot8 x reader [m] @seventhcallisto

★ the kraken — kracken!yunho x reader [m] @atzfilm

★ wonderwall — faeire!ot8 x reader [m] @atzfilm

☆ mind over matter — mingi x reader [m] @mingisaddctn

☆ coming of age — incubus!san x reader [m] @byuntrash101

☆ never say never — vampire!ot8 x reader [m] @seonghwaddict

★ into the aurora — idol!ot8 x reader [m] @honeyhotteoks

★ this night together (abo) — alpha!yunho x alpha!mingi x reader [m] @honeyhotteoks

☆ treasure — yunho x wooyoung x san x reader [m] @honeyhotteoks

★ mists of celeste — ot8 space pirates!ateez x reader [m] @hongism

★ hotel california | book one — ot8 yandere!demonic entities!ateez x reader [m] @mint-yooxgi

★ paradise gardens | book two — ot8 yandere!demonic entities!ateez x reader [m] @mint-yooxgi

TXT

★ telepathy — mind reader!beomgyu x reader [m] @agustdiv1ne

☆ pose — yeonjun x reader [m] @agustdiv1ne

SEVENTEEN

☆ meet the parents — mingyu x reader [m] @sluttywoozi

☆ control me — gamer!wonwoo x reader [m] @duhnova

★ crawl — devil!jeonghan x reader [m] @himbocoups

★ a whisper from the forest — lumberjack!woozi x forest nymph!reader [m] @idyllic-ghost

☆ and the universe said, — idol!ot13 x reader [m] @thepixelelf

☆ greed — hoshi x reader [m] @cheolism

☆ after LIKE — mingyu x reader @sluttywoozi

STRAY KIDS

★ strange dreams — incubus!hyunjin x reader [m] @planetdream

MULTI

★ code of (mis)conduct — mingyu (svt) x san (atz) x reader [m] @sluttywoozi

[bethelighthalazia]

Breakfast in bed

Summary:  What could turn a stormy and thunderous morning into the best morning of the week? This would be the only explanation of Jongho's actions on this Sunday morning.

Genre: fluff

Pairing: dad!Jongho x fem!reader

Word Count:  804

Warnings: very cute?, Jongho being a sweetheart, some fluff and cute domestic stuff 

[note: this fic is only partially beta´d. its also part of a miniseries for dad!ateez]

HJ, SH, YH, YS, S, MG, WY, JH

networks: @mirohs-aurora-society

© by bethelighthalazia. Do not repost, copy or translate. Unless stated otherwise, those works are mine and born from my own ideas. I don't have any claim on the mentioned real existing Idols whatsoever.

Sunday. A day in the week, on which you would get out of bed, prepare breakfast for your husband and daughter and then try to make them go for a walk through the park. Today however, you´re woken by a rumbling thunder. 

Groaning, you turn around under your blanket to wrap your arms around your husband, but only grasp nothing. Where was he? Had your daughter yelled for him because she was scared? Turning again, you looked at the alarm clock on your nightstand; 10:30 am already. What happened and where was Jongho?

You heard the main door close and a squeaked giggle from your daughter, have they been outside in this weather? “Shh, we don´t want to wake eomma, she went to bed late last night.” Jongho said quietly, you could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke. Slowly, you got up and wrapped yourself in your bathrobe, your footsteps almost not to be heard as you dragged yourself to the living area of the apartment. 

Neither of them noticed you watching, Jongho giggling quietly as he helped Byeol take off her muddy rubber boots and her little raincoat. Your three years old daughter truly comes after her dad, fearless and the cute nose scrunch when she laughs included. Before your daughter could run off, Jongho already picked her up, carrying her over to the bathroom, the grocery bags standing in the hallway. You quietly went and unpacked the groceries, listening to your husband and your daughter with a smile. Despite Jongho being an Idol, the three of you were living in a small apartment and it was wonderful, you wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

Jongho's voice, accompanied by the giggles of your daughter echo through the apartment and it makes your heart swell. “We only need one little towel for you, Byeol- no, no that's eomma’s we can't-” Your husband tries to negotiate with the still giggling three years old, he'll bend to all her wishes and whining in less than a second, you just knew it. “Okay, okay fine…you can have eomma's towel- not this? But- Byeol, wait!” You weren't able to hold back your laughter when he, once again, gave in to the wishes of his daughter, which the girl heard and promptly came running. The view of her, wrapped into his too big bathrobe and dragging your towel after her, just drew more laughter and a soft smile from you.

When Jongho finally caught up, he saw you standing there, the little girl on your hip, the towel in your other hand. He slowly approached you to press a soft kiss on your lips, but a tiny hand between your faces stopped him, causing his eyes to go wide. “Why, Byeol?” He asked the giggling girl, who just pouted. “Appa no kissy! My eomma, my appa. Only me kissy!” The pout still on her lips, Byeol leaned towards Jongho, both her hands on each side of your husband's face as she gave his face a squeeze. The laugh from you caused him to stare at you, his expression priceless. “Yah, don't laugh at me, y/n. I just want a kiss from you, jagiya!” He whined and you then leaned in to kiss him, which then caused Byeol to squeak and try to separate the two of you. 

“Eomaaa!” Byeol then whined and you gave her a surprised look, head tilted. “You nap! Appa me make food!” She explained and you couldn't hold back another little chuckle, before handing her back to your husband. “Okay fine, i´ll leave you two and go back to bed then. Make sure she doesn´t hurt herself, Jongho.” “Don't worry, love. Go and rest a little more.” He hums and when his lips pressed a last kiss to your forehead, you left for the bedroom again.

The sounds of kitchen utensils clattering and your husband and the little ball of joy that is your daughter let you doze off, making you sleep a dreamless sleep until you are woken by two kisses. There they were, Jongho wearing an apron and looking rather disheveled and exhausted and next to him was Byeol. They had brought a tray with breakfast, some pancakes, some savory bits and homemade orange juice. “Birthday eomma! Appa and Byeol made food!” Your daughter squeaked, pushing a picture into your hands as she climbed up onto the bed to cuddle with you. Jongho couldn't hold back a chuckle, it wasn't your birthday, and he did try to explain it to Byeol, yet, he also didn't want to lessen her joy of giving you gifts. And after all, he got to spend a wonderful morning baking and cooking with her for you. So, he made both of his most beloved girls happy, and that's what counts, right?

taglist: @mingis-mizu, @tinyelfperson, @hotteokkay, @minkilicious, @bunnliix,

@gong-fourz, @yeosangiess, @dinossaurz, @scuzmunkie, @h3arteyes4mingi

(if you want to be added to a taglist, follow the taglist-link in my pinned post)

[lettersfromaphrodite]

masterlist

─  'CAUSE THAT'S WHAT YOUNG LOVE IS ALL ABOUT ♡  

smut : 🍑 ; fluff : 🍭 ; angst : 🌧️

ATEEZ

Hongjoong: [16.30] 🍭 // [9.20] 🍭

Seonghwa: [5.26] 🍑 // AO3 link

Yeosang: [00.30] 🌧️

Wooyoung: [22.22] 🍑

Seonghwa x Hongjoong: «Protect Me, My Aurora.» 🌧️🍑🍭🏴‍☠️ // AO3 link | [make me a villain]  🔮 // AO3 link  

Grease! ATEEZ Series 🕺

Yunho: [3.42] 🍑🍭 // AO3 link

Yeosang: [4.57] 🍑🕺

Wooyoung: [15.37] 🍑🕺

Elemental Series 🔥💧🍃🌪️

Hongjoong x Fem! Reader: «do you believe in fate?» 🔮🌧️🍑🍭 // AO3 link

Chan x Fem! Reader: «flames  to dust.» 🔮🌧️🍑🍭 // AO3 link  

STRAY KIDS

Chan: [17.49]🍑🍭🎮

Jisung: [15.44] 🍭 // AO3 link | Jisung: [17.15]🎀🍑🍭

Hyunjin: [3.17]🍭

Sea Shanties Collection 📚🧜‍♂️🏴‍☠️ // AO3 link

Chan: [9.54] 🧜‍♂️🌧️🍭

Minho: «it’s high tide, baby.» 🧜‍♂️🌧️🍑🍭

Wolves! Stray Kids Series 🐺🔮 // AO3 link

Chan: [11.11] 🍭🔮🐺 // [3.21]🍑🍭🔮🐺

Changbin: [23.15] 🌧️🍑🍭🔮 🐺

Jisung: [2.22]🌧️🍑🍭🔮🐺

Hyunjin: [14.23]🍑🍭🔮🐺

Seungmin: [4.55]🌧️🍑🍭🔮🐺

Minho: [1.32]🍑🍭🔮🐺 // [2.31]🍑🍭🔮🐺

Felix: [14.20]🌧️🍭🔮🐺

Jeongin: [20.18]🍭🔮🐺

Royals! Stray Kids Series 👑 // AO3 link

Chan: [16.40]🌧️🍑🍭👑

Changbin: [10.40]🌧️🍭👑

Jisung: [00.00]🍑🍭👑🧛‍♂️

Hyunjin: [8.45]🌧️🍑🍭👑

Seungmin: [20.55]🌧️🍑🍭👑

Minho: [15.54]🍭👑

Felix: [2.33]🍑🍭👑 // [3.32]🍑🍭👑

Jeongin: [17.59]🌧️🍭👑

Vampires! Stray Kids Series 🧛‍♂️ // AO3 link

Chan: [8.58]🌧️🍑🍭🧛‍♂️

Changbin: [17.25]🌧️🍑🍭🎀🧛‍♂️

Jisung: [00.00]🍑🍭👑🧛‍♂️

Hyunjin: [8.03]🍑🍭🧛‍♂️

Seungmin: [8.50]🌧️🍭🧛‍♂️

Minho: [14.56]🌧️🍑🍭🧛‍♂️

Felix: [9.00]🌧️🍭🧛‍♂️

Grease! Stray Kids Series 🕺 // AO3 link

Chan: [2.57]🍭🕺 // [14.57]🍑🍭🕺

Changbin: [19.45]🍑🍭🕺

Jisung: [10.50]🍑🍭🕺

Hyunjin: [20.30]🌧️🍑🍭🕺

Seungmin: [16.02]🍑🍭🕺

Minho: [00.15]🌧️🍑🍭🕺

Felix:  [23.02]🍑🍭🕺

Jeongin: [18.20]🍭🕺

SEVENTEEN

Wonwoo: [23.49]🍭🔮🐺 // AO3 link

Wonwoo x Mingyu: [I feel danger on your lips but it tastes good]🧛‍♂️🍑🍭 // AO3 link

NON KPOP RELATED FICS

Sylus (Love and DeepSpace): HEADCANONS: aftercare 🍭 // AO3 link

Childe x Lumine (Genshin Impact): [your love is holy] 🍭 // AO3 link

Astarion (Baldur's Gate 3): [make me feel like I am breathing (feel like I am human) ] 🍭 // AO3 link

Luca Kaneshiro (NIJISANJI EN): [il dolce far niente] 🍭 // AO3 link

Clavis Lelouch (Ikemen Prince): [devoted to you] 🍭 // AO3 link

Keith Howell (Ikemen Prince): [love me like you do] 🍑 // AO3 link

Mikey (Tokyo Revengers): [tornerai da me] 🍑🍭 // AO3 link

Giorno x Mista (JoJo’s Bizzarre Adventures): [4.17] 🍭  // AO3 link

all works © lettersfromaphrodite

Do not modify, repost, translate or plagiarize my stories.I only publish my works on tumblr & AO3.

↳ BACK TO NAVIGATION 💫

[rems-writing]

Doberman cafe but a Maltese owns it?

Pairing: barista!Yeosang x office worker!reader

Summary: This will be tied to the dilf YunGi fics I posted a while back but this time, the reader will have no connection to any of the characters. Just a heads up lol

Warning(s): Swearing, yelling, Yeosang being a total softie for the reader, reader is a certified simp for Yeosang (i mean who wouldn't be lol), mentions of a non-Ateez member

Genre: A shit ton of fluff lol

Nets: @blossomnet @mirohs-aurora-society

Originally, I was going to post a Hongjoong fic. However, in observance of the birth of the man named Kang Yeosang, I've decided to post this first before the Joong fic.

Thank you to @bunnliix for helping me decide the order of the remaining fics that I should write and post

The calming effect of the soft jazz music playing in the background of the Doberman Cafe provided much needed soothing effort for those that entered the small coffee shop. From college students to families that wanted a day out, the owner would always greet his customers with a smile.

Kang Yeosang was happy where he was at. After quitting his old job, he found it relaxing to grind coffee and mix in various ingredients to create caffeinated drinks varying from sweet to bitter. He also got some help from his best friend Jung Wooyoung, who was currently in the back baking various pastries. The two have been friends since diapers and they vowed to never abandon the other.

Yeosang has heard tales of Wooyoung's other best friend getting together with Jeong Yunho and the widow of Doh Kyungsoo dating Song Mingi.

When would it be his turn?

Business was slow as usual for today. After all, it was Friday so most of his usual customers weren't coming in which was fine. It gave the man time to relax and rest his hands from making coffee. The bell attached above the front door chimed and Yeosang looked up. He was getting ready to greet the customer with a kind smile when he heard the argument that came through.

"LISTEN, JONES! I DON'T FUCKING CARE IF HE ACTS LIKE A DAMN CHILD THROWING A TANTRUM! HE SHOULD'VE THOUGHT TWICE BEFORE FUCKING CHEATING ON ME!"

Oh dear. This person sounded angry. Wooyoung must've noticed Yeosang's confusion and slight fear since he poked his head out of the back and heard the unintentionally loud conversation this person had with this Jones person.

"HE HAD THE AUDACITY TO SAY THAT?! OH HELL NAH! I'M OVER HERE BUSTING MY ASS LEFT AND RIGHT 24/7 TO BRING FOOD ON THE TABLE AND PAY RENT WHILE HE SITS ON HIS ASS AND DOES ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOTHING! AND YET HE HAS THE GALL TO SAY, 'yOu nEvER mAkE tiMe fOr me' STRAIGHT TO MY FACE?! AT LEAST I DIDN'T SLEEP WITH HIS BEST FRIEND!"

Oh. This just got interesting. As Yeosang saw the customer sit down, he couldn't help but to be smitten with them. Sure, they were angry as hell and very much stressed yet he couldn't help it. He tilted his head and eavesdropped some more. Unintentionally.

"Look, Jones! After gathering the divorce papers, make sure you also provide documents for a restraining order against my soon to be ex-husband. It may be too much, but I don't care. I'm so fucking tired! I'm just... done. Let me know when those papers are finished and fax them to me. My boss won't care. He knows of the shit that's happening to me right now. Hence, that strangely kind offer for me to take a trip down to the Bahamas. Anyways, I have to go. Tell your wife and kids I said hi."

You hung up after your attorney and former college roommate Jones bid you goodbye. You groaned quietly and laid your head on the table that you sat at. You felt someone sit across from you and you were about to tell them to kindly fuck off when you lifted your head and was immediately greeted with a statue staring down at you with big brown eyes that were full of curiosity and wonder.

'HOLY SHIT! I KNOW THAT A LOT OF PEOPLE SAY THAT THE OWNER WAS HANDSOME, BUT THEY CERTAINLY DIDN'T TELL ME HOW HANDSOME! AND HE'S SO CUTE TOO! LIKE A MALTESE!'

'Quit it, Y/N! He probably thinks you're a lunatic with the way he must've heard you scream over the phone.'

'Damn it! Ok I'll stop my simping...'

After you finished internally scolding yourself, you looked down to see him move a white teacup slowly in your direction, along with a slice of cake.

"Hey. I figured you'd need this. I didn't mean to, but I overheard you yelling at someone over a certain douchebag that's also a man-child. Hopefully, this cheers you up." He said in a rich honey-like deep voice.

In the cup was a freshly brewed batch of lavender green tea and on the plate was a slice of black cherry chiffon cake. You smiled sheepishly and thanked him shyly for the treats.

When you sipped the tea, all the stress over your cheating soon-to-be ex-husband washed away and you instantly relaxed. You then picked up your fork and took a piece of the cafe before eating it.

You were in heaven. You definitely needed this.

"Um... thank you." Your voice came out softer than usual and had a twinge of shyness to it. Yeosang smiled and beckoned for Wooyoung to come sit with you.

Wooyoung was extremely sexy, but not as sexy as the man sitting across from you.

"I hope you guys don't mind me coming in here at this ungodly hour. If you haven't heard, I'm... kind of going through a lot right now."

Wooyoung, who was usually loud as hell, softened his voice.

"It's no problem. Fridays are our slowest days and since Saturday is our day off, we usually stay in here until we decide to go home. You're welcome to stay as long as you like."

"Thank you. By the way, these are amazing."

"Thank you! I made the cake." Wooyoung proudly said with a smile.

"And I made the tea." Yeosang said. "Speaking of which, would you like to spill the tea on your oh-so shabby life?"

You found yourself smiling at that and Yeosang found his heart beating rapidly with excitement.

"Oof. Where do I start?"

From there, you spilled the tea on everything. From your recent tragic event to your life in general, you said it all. Yeosang and Wooyoung were sassy and savage and you found yourself giggling at their quick and witty responses. Finally, you felt yourself becoming sleepy and you yawned. Yeosang found the sound cute. Wooyoung cleared the dishes while Yeosang stood up and help you with your things.

"Would it be possible to walk you home? Not only do I enjoy your company but uh... the Namhae Strongman is still out there. You need to stay alive in order to sign those divorce papers and file that restraining order against that ex of yours."

You shivered at the thought of the killer coming after you. Even though you were angry at your ex, you wished him well enough to pray for his safety.

The Namhae Strongman is not someone you'd want to mess with.

"Of course, Yeosang. I live down the block from here so it'll be a short walk."

Yeosang grinned excitedly and your heart ached in adoration for the human personification of a Maltese. After Wooyoung locked up the shop, you three headed to your apartment. You talked some more and kept an eye out for any suspicious activity or sign of the killer. Finally, you reached your apartment.

"Thanks for the walk home. Oh and for the tea & cake as well. How much do I owe you by the way?"

"It's on the house."

"No no, Yeosang. It's ok. I seriously need to repay you-"

"Repay me by giving me your number. So you can send updates."

Wow. He was smooth.

You blushed lightly and nodded before exchanging numbers with him. After that, you bid him goodbye and entered your apartment. You sighed dreamily as you closed the door behind you and locked it. You set your keys on the counter and made your way to the kitchen, where your roommate was still awake.

"So... you got a new man now?" He teased you and smirked at your reaction.

"Shut up, Jongho!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A couple of days later, you found yourself in Doberman Cafe again. Insomnia was being a bitch to you so you woke up way earlier than Jongho. Sighing to yourself, you threw on a hoodie and walked to the coffee shop before looking for the one person you were majorly simping for.

He just so happened to be standing in front of you with a grin on his face.

"Good morning, lovely."

The pet name gave you butterflies.

Yeosang led you to your seat from Friday night and sat down across from you.

"What will it be today?"

"I'll get a caffe mocha with a soymilk substitute and if possible, a slice of that black cherry cake?"

"Ahh. Now with that cake, it only pairs with tea since it's sweet. Unless you have a giant sweet tooth, I'd recommend some of our breakfast sandwiches. Specifically, a roast beef sandwich with a fried egg all on ciabatta bread that's toasted to perfection."

"Ooh! In this case, I'll have that then. And maybe later, when I leave, can I get an iced americano to go?"

"Sure thing, lovely. It'll be $10 by the way. For your order and that iced americano."

You pulled out a $10 bill and gave it to Yeosang before seeing him walk away and do his magic. While you waited, you received a text from Jones.

Jones: Hey. I'd thought I'd stop by and give you the papers myself. Are you home?

You: No. I'm at the Doberman Cafe. I couldn't sleep anymore so I'd figure I'd stop by here and wake myself up.

Jones: Oh? Ok bet. I heard from my wife that the owner is handsome. Maybe I'll see for myself. ;)

Jones: Can't a man appreciate another man's good looks?

You: And I oop -

You: Don't go simping for the barista now, Jones. You're married and he's actually mine fyi

You: Of course you can. Just don't go full on simp mode. XD

Jones: Like you? XD

You: Fuck you <3

Jones: Ew. No thanks <3

You: Hurry with the fuck ass papers, you dickhead.

Jones: Ok ok! XD

"Is that Jones?" Yeosang asked curiously. You would expect the Maltese to be jealous, but since he overheard your conversation two nights away, he wasn't too worried.

"Yeah. He's coming by here to drop off the divorce papers and the necessary documents to file a restraining order." You clarified to him. "I know I said that he'd fax them to me, but I didn't think he would get them that fast. Hence, why he's coming over to drop them off himself."

Yeosang nodded and set your coffee and meal down before sitting next to you. You thanked him and began to eat. You two made small talk and even introduced Yeosang to Jones when Jones came walking in to deliver the papers. Yeosang grabbed a pen and you happily retrieved it from him before signing the papers. After that, Jones put all of those papers away and bid you goodbye before buying a coffee from Yeosang and going home.

A weight lifted off your shoulders and you felt at ease. Yeosang was feeling the same way, especially since he found you attractive.

Little did he know that you felt the same way.

"Now that it has been done, want to turn this little encounter into a date?"

Yeosang was shocked by your boldness but he eventually nodded eagerly.

"I would love nothing more than that."

[lucymultistan]

ATEEZ Masterlist

ALL CREDIT IS DUE TO THEIR RIGHTFUL OWNERS, I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THIS- these are just my favorite fics :)

Most of these are OT8, Cuz I’m a slut.

Full fics:

Into the aurora

summary: you didn’t expect to run into choi san outside of the venue, especially when your phone was dead and you were stranded in a random city. a kind offer for a phone charger turns into so much more, and you end up falling into a relationship with all eight members of ateez.

inherited demons

"When my beloved Great Aunt Lilith passed away, I inherited all that belonged to her: her fortune, estate, and also the eight 'charges’ that lived with her since the last time I saw her. Except none of that sounded right, I didn’t even know she had others living with her after 4 years. I just wanted to uncover the hidden truths my beloved Aunt left me, but that was impossibly hard while dealing with the affections of 8 gorgeous men that didn’t seem human at all.”

or

mc inherits her aunts things only to find out Auntie made a deal with some demons and all those demons wanted was MC

Hotel California

YN checks in to a hotel ran by yandere!Ateez, the boys decide she can no longer leave

Mists of Celeste

summary: Sneaking aboard the ship of a renowned space pirate may not have been the best idea, but you’ll have to make do with what fate has handed to you.

The Paradigm complex

summary: They'll do whatever you ask. Anything you need. Anything you want. It's yours. They'll fulfill your every desire and whim. Give you the life you had always dreamed about.And in exchange, you wouldn't just give them your soul. Oh, no, They weren't demons. What good was your soul when your purpose was better served alive and well? Your soul was nice, sure, but it wasn't all they wanted. It wasn't all they needed. They needed your body, your mind. Your blood. You entirely. Every single fiber of your being would soon be theirs and theirs alone. The moment you signed that contract, everything would change. For them and for you. And there was nothing you could do about it.

Morning Mist

Dragon!Ateez, OT8

In Love and Lore

summary: the daemon king and his seven black generals. names and faces of these eight had changed over the years as each new king was crowned, but their reputation as the most powerful daemons always remained the same. upon hearing the rumors one of the seven led the charge of the nearby battle, you should have stayed close to the encampment. you should have never wandered out on your own. but you did, and your life would never be the same again. good or bad, you would just have to wait to find out.

“There’s no need to be afraid, angel.” His words were a breath against the side of your neck. “You’ve done so much for us, let your king now return the favor.”

One-Shots/ Drabbles:

Slumber party

you’re best friends with yunhos sister and after a night out he came to pick you up and bring you back to his shared college dorm with 7 other guys :’)

Wider:

[bteezxyewriter12]

My Aurora

Pairing- Hongjoong x Named Reader

Word count- 3.4k

Includes- So much fluff, blow job, cock riding, missionary, squirting, multiple orgasms, reader assures Hongjoong

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxxmine @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa

@yeosxxx @seokwoosmole @jjongsbebe @wisejudgedragonhairdo @meowmeowminnie @woo-stars @borntowalkaway @usagionthered @san-realblkwife @seonghwasstar @jejeyeppeo @soulseobi05 @kpop-bambi @prayerofthehaim @realisticnotes @pinkies-things @insomniacatiny @stephy-nicole13

Gif Credit- Ortali, holy-yeosang

Masterlists- check out for more fics

📝Masterlists 📝ATEEZ Masterlist 📝Hongjoong Masterlist

Hongjoong POV

The hairstylist is running a comb through my hair while the makeup artist is touching up my makeup and the stylist is fixing the mic on my new outfit for the next part of the concert

But I don't pay any attention to them instead watching Wooyoung through the mirror, my temper rising

He's flirting with the clothing stylist that's getting him into his clothes for the next stage

He's smiling, touching her arms, getting close to her

She smiles but doesn't engage in the flirtation

He's not giving up though

"Hey Jo, wanna hang out after the concert?"

"Oh, well I'm kinda tired. I was just gonna go back to my room to sleep", she answers, "And anyway, I'm sure you'll be tired after the concert. With all the energetic dancing you do"

"Eh, I wouldn't be tired for you"

I'm fucking seething, wanting to tell him to give it up already

But he's not backing off

She attaches the mic port to his pants, then pulls his shirt out to get the wire up the back

One of her hands go under his shirt, dragging the wire up, her other hand at the top of the shirt pulling the wire out

When she moves her hand to take it out from under his shirt, he grabs her hand and moves it to his abs

Her presses her hand flat against his skin, moving it around

"I know you wanna touch my abs. It's ok, I don't mind"

She rolls her eyes

"Stop Woo", she says softly, "Don't be silly"

Images of running to him, jumping on him and fighting him are bombarding my mind and it takes everything to keep myself in the seat

She moves her hand away from him, going behind him and connecting the wire to his inner ear mics

Putting them over one of his shoulders, she goes to face him, her arms moving up on either side of his head, separating the mics and putting them around his neck

He smirks, wrapping his arms around her waist, pulling her against him in a hug

"Wooyoung!", she exclaims, pushing off him

He grabs her hand, smirking, "I know you liked hugging me"

That's fucking it

I stand up from my chair, ignoring the stylists' protests, walking straight towards her and Wooyoung

She's fixing his shirt while Wooyoung looks up at me

"Hey Hong-", he starts

Ignoring him, I take her arm and spin her to me

She looks up at me with her beautiful brown eyes and I don't think, I just lean down, crashing my mouth to hers

Her arms immediately go around my neck, pressing her body against mine as she kisses me back

I deepen the kiss, my tongue against hers, keeping a tight hold of her, my arms around her

"What the fuck is going on?", San yells

"We don't have time for this!", Seonghwa exclaims

I'll make fucking time

Because no one on this earth is taking my jagi from me

No one

The kiss ends and I don't let go, looking down at her

"I love you"

"What?", Yeosang says

"Now? You have to do this now?", Yunho sighs

Ignoring them, I just look at her, "I'm in love with you Joanne. So much. You have no idea how much"

She smiles, nodding, "I do Joongie. Because I love you more than anything baby"

"Really?", I smile

She nods, touching my cheek softly, "I'm in love too. With you"

I'm so fucking happy

I didn't know what this was with us

If she took it as seriously as I do

Now I know

She pulls me down to her, kissing me and I go willingly

"Hongjoong!", Mingi yells

We pull away from each other, smiling like idiots

"You have to go baby"

I nod, "Tonight jagi"

"You're staying with me baby", she answers

"All night", I promise

Separating, I look up at Wooyoung, who's shocked

"Don't ever touch my girlfriend again"

He nods, "I uh....what's going on? You two are .. together?"

I nod, "Yeah for six months. We kept it a secret"

"No shit. Why though? You could of told us", San says

"We were taking everything slow, seeing if it would work. Once I knew it would I didn't say anything because I just wanted her to myself", I explain, "But Wooyoung keeps flirting with her and I couldn't take it anymore"

"I'm sorry!", Wooyoung says, "I didn't know she was with you!"

"Now you know", I growl, "Hands off"

"Yeah for sure", he says, "Sorry Jo"

"It's ok Woo. But for future reference, don't try so hard. It'll turn the girl off"

He nods, "Noted. Thanks"

"Ok can we go?", Seonghwa asks, "We have to finish this concert! We can talk about this later"

"Yeah let's get finished here", I agree

It takes less than a minute to finish up backstage

Right before I go on stage, I turn to her, planting a sweet kiss on her soft lips

"I love you"

"I love you Joongie"

I smile at her then run on stage and get in position for Cyberpunk

---------------------------

"Did the guys give you lots of shit?", she giggles, cuddling into me

We decided on her hotel room because she has a queen bed and is alone while I share with Seonghwa

"A little bit. They were dramatic about it. And happy for us"

"That's good. I swear I was gonna go off on Wooyoung if he tried one more thing"

Yeah so was I

"Are you sure you didn't like it?", I ask, a little bit worried

"What?", she exclaims

"I mean you touched his abs. I don't have abs. Maybe you...liked it"

She sits up, shaking her head, "Don't ever fucking think that Joongie. I don't care about abs and you know it. I don't want to touch anyone but you. I love you Hongjoong. Not Wooyoung. You"

I nod, seeing how serious she is

She loves me

I can see it in her eyes

"And anyway, you're the one who has girls touching you all the time. Their hands in your hair, on your face, on your body"

"Those are stylists jagi! They're doing their job"

She snorts, "Right. You're so blind Joongie. Half those stylists want to fuck you"

"Uh what?", I ask confused

"Everyone talks baby. The girls, they think you're hot. A lot of them like you, think you're so sweet. Want to date you. The others want to fuck you"

"Are you for real?", I ask, all this news to me

"Yes Joongie. I mean you're the leader, the captain of ATEEZ. You're hot, of course the female staff is gonna want you"

"Well I don't want them", I say, sitting up, "I want you. You're the only one I want"

She looks at me, "Then believe me when I tell you I feel the same way. I don't care if a guys with abs to the gods is in front of me. They're not you. You are the one that turns me on, you're the one I want to kiss, the one I want. No one compares to you"

"No one compares to you Jo. No one", I tell her

She smiles, leaning closer to me, her lips against mine, her hands pulling my shirt up

I help her take it off, her mouth right against mine as soon as the shirt is off

She gently pushes me down on the bed, her lips moving to my neck, pressing kisses on my skin

My skin trembles against her lips, her hands moving down to my pants, pulling them and my boxers down

Her kisses move down my body, down my stomach, pulling my bottom clothes down the lower she goes

Her lips press against my cock, shivers running up my spine

She gets all of my bottom clothes off, her mouth still pressing kisses along my length

When she gets to my head, she licks around it, pleasure creeping into my body

Her tongue swirls around, licking along my slit as she moans softly

"Taste so good baby"

I moan hearing her

The first time she told me this, my head exploded, not believing that she likes the way my cum tasted

But she loves blowing me, always on her knees for me and I realized that she really does like my cum

It's fine because I love eating her pussy and the way she tastes is so amazing

So I get it

"Jagi", I breathe when her mouth goes around me, sucking

Oh my god, it feels so good

She moves me down her throat, taking me all in, bobbing her head up and down

She makes choking sounds around my dick, the sound music to my ears

My baby knows exactly what I like and always does it for me

She takes me all in, swallowing and sucking on me fast and hard, then bobs up and down a few times

Then she does it all over again

I watch my length go in and out of her mouth, getting turned on more and more

Her tongue presses along my underside as she slides up and down my cock

Moving my fingers in her hair, I hold on, pleasure running through my body

I'm getting closer but I can't cum

I want to be inside her so badly

"Jagi", I whimper, softly pushing her head back

She looks up at me, easing off my cock

"I...I..."

"I know what you want baby", she says, sitting up

She pulls her shirt off, her beautiful body hitting me right in the face

The first time I saw her naked I almost passed out

She's stunning

Perfect

She gets out of her pj shorts and panties, climbing on top of me

She sits on my dick, sliding me in and bottoming me out in one move

"Fuck", I groan, feeling her tight pussy spreading around me, latching on and throbbing already

I stare at her, amazing that this beautiful girl loves me

Her hands move all over my chest, my stomach, my arms, fingers trailing softly on my skin

"My baby is so fucking beautiful", she murmurs, "So hot"

I feel myself blush

She says it often enough that I believe her

"How could I want anyone else, when I have this?", she says, hands running from my stomach to my chest, her gaze moving to mine, "When I have you?"

I honestly don't know what to say

I'm not blind, I know the other guys are hot

Wooyoung, Yeosang and San with their abs

Mingi and Yunho with their height

Jongho with his built body

And everyone loves everything about Seonghwa

All the girls fangirl over him so much

I don't know why she'd want me over them

Or how she can think I'm the best looking one out of the eight of us

"I could never want anyone else Joongie", she says, tilting her head as she looks at me, "You're absolutely everything I want and so much more. You are perfect"

"Perfect?", I repeat in disbelief

She smiles softly, "Yeah Joongie. You're my perfect everything and I love you more than anything in this world"

I sit up immediately, moving my arms around her and kissing her soft beautiful lips

Her arms wrap around my neck, kissing me back just as passionately

"You're my perfect everything jagi", I tell her, leaning my forehead against hers, "Sometimes I still can't believe you're mine"

She laughs lightly, "Are you kidding baby? I can't believe you're mine. You're the idol, the unattainable one, not me. The one who can have anyone but you chose me. A staff member. A no one"

"Shush jagi", I shush her, "You're not a nobody. And yeah I'm an idol but I'm still just a guy. The truth is I'm lucky to have you"

"Joongie-", she starts

"No jagi, I am lucky. Being an idol isn't exactly a great career for a relationship. There's a lot of shit my girlfriend would have to deal with. You deal with everything and never complain. You're amazing and I'm the luckiest guy in the world to have you", I tell her honestly, "I love you so much"

"I love you Joongie. So much", she says, pressing her lips to mine in a sweet kiss, "I'll always love you"

"I'll always love you Jo", I promise, knowing that I will keep that promise forever

She smiles, kissing me and softly pushing me back

I lay back, my head on the pillows, her kiss fucking heavenly

When the kiss ends, she sits up, leaning on my chest, her hips moving hypnotically in a circle, opening her pussy with my cock

"Fuck baby", I groan, pleasure coming back, my hands gripping her thighs

Her pussy is so fucking tight but she takes me so well every time

She moans loudly, grinding on my cock, my head rubbing against her spot, her pussy pulsing getting faster

God, she feels amazing, I can't get over it

"Joongie", she moans, "So good baby"

"Yeah baby", I agree, "So tight for me. So fucking wet"

"Mmm hmmm", she murmurs, starting to give me small bounces on my length

"Oh god", I groan, my head pressing back into the pillow

Her bounces get harder, sliding all the way up my cock to my head, then surging down, bottoming me out

Each movement makes my cock slam into her spot, her loud cries so fucking beautiful

She moves impossibly fast, riding me like it's her job

I lift my head just in time to see her lean back on my thighs, her sweaty body right in my face

Her boobs jiggle, mesmerizing me, sweat dripping between them

Sliding my hands up her body, I cup her boobs, squeezing them

So soft, so squishy

I run my fingers over her hard nipples, pinching them, her pussy getting so much more wet

Running my eyes down her body, I stop at her tiny hole swallowing my cock over and over

There's so much cream all over my cock it's pooling in my lap

That sight never ceases to hypnotize me

It's just so much, her cunt coating me more and more the more she bounces on me

Her pussy lips are so fucking puffy, looking like she belongs around my shaft

And inside, her cunt clenches my cock so hard, strangling my length, keeping me in fucking bliss

I've never felt any pleasure like the pleasure she gives me

It's so intense, so incredible and I fucking love it

"Hongjoong", she whimpers, her head tilting back, her face full of pleasure

As much as I love getting pleasure I love giving it to her more

I love making her cum

The next time she comes down, I thrust up into her pussy, hitting so much deeper

"Oh fuck", she cries, her body shaking

Grabbing her arms, I pull her down on top of me, her perfect skin against mine

Moving my hands to her ass, I grip her hard, sliding her halfway up my shaft

Then I thrust up, slamming into her hard over and over, getting a fast and hard pace going

"Joongie!", she cries, her face buried in my neck

"Feels so good baby", I tell her, jackhammering my cock into her pussy, splitting her open

Her cunt throbs so quickly, almost there

"Cum for me baby", I ask, "I want to feel you cum all over me"

Fuck, I crave her orgasms

The pleasure from them is astounding and I'm like a junkie for them

"Please baby, I need it", I plead, "You're so close jagi"

"Joongie", she cries, her body shaking against mine as she orgasms

Her cunt locks on my cock, drenching me in cum, pleasure slamming into me

"Yes baby", I cry, fucking her through the orgasm as she screams my name, "Yes fuck, keep going. Just like that baby. Cum for me just like that"

"Hongjoong"

"Mm baby, so fucking good"

Her orgasm begins to taper off and I don't want that

I need more

"No baby", I pant, my body so hot, so sweaty but I'm not stopping, "Cum again. I need it again"

I keep pounding in her pussy, her cunt so wet that her pussy makes loud squelching noises everytime I thrust into her

"Mmm do you hear that baby?", I groan, "Do you hear how loud your pussy is for me? How much you love my cock inside you?"

"Yes baby", she moan, "I love your cock baby"

"I know jagi", I answer, breathing hard, "I know how much you love coming on my cock, right?"

"Yes", she whimpers

"Then cum for my cock baby", I tell her, "I need it. I need to feel you"

Each slam brings her closer and I'm so excited to feel her again

Thrusting into her again, sets her off, her pussy so tight on me as she falls over the edge

She scream my name in my neck, trembling in my arms

My cock gets so fucking wet and I know she's squirting

"Yes baby", I moan, the bliss so incredible, "Squirt for me baby. Soak me jagi"

I feel her gush all over my lap, my legs, the sheets under me

God, I love when she squirts

It's ecstasy for her and I'm so about that

As soon as she's done, I roll us over, wrapping her legs around me

Pushing the hair off her face, I lift her face up to me, crashing my lips against hers

Her kiss takes my breath away, her arms wrapping around my neck and I feel like I'm right where I belong

Rolling my hips, I slide into her, slowly, feeling every inch of her open for me

She moans against my mouth, her hands sliding down to my back

I move slowly, thrusting in and out, grinding into her when my cock bottoms out

I can feel every move, every throb her pussy makes and I completely fall into her

There is nothing in my head except her and how she feels

Her hips move up, meeting my thrusts, letting slide me in deeper, feeling out of this world

I'm so fucking in love with her and I thank God she feels the same

We move together, our kisses becoming more desperate, our movements becoming urgent

She's so close and so am I

I know her orgasm is going to set off mine

She's always first

I wouldn't have it any other way

She breaks the kiss, her head pushing back into the pillow as her orgasm starts

"Hongjoong", she moans, "I love you"

"Fuck", I whimper, hearing her

I sheath my cock fully inside her, pure ecstasy slamming into me as I cum in her pussy

"Jagi!", I cry, "I love you. Fuck Jo, I love you"

"I love you Hongjoong"

Stars blind me, my mind utterly blank as I feel her squeeze my cock, milking me for all my cum, both of us holding onto each other desperately, our bodies pressed right against each other, whimpering "I love you" to each other over and over

It feels so fucking good, she feels good, everything is absolutely perfect

I come back to earth, feeling her arms around me, laying on top of her, her fingers in my hair, her lips pressing kissing all over my forehead, her voice whispering "I love you" over and over

The best way to finish an orgasm

"I love you", I tell her, kissing her chest, then lifting my head, looking in her eyes

She smiles tiredly, her fingers sliding down, stroking my cheek so softly, "I love you Hongjoong"

"I love you", I repeat, pushing her sweaty hair out of her face

I press a soft kiss to her perfect lips, then move, laying next to her

Gently pulling her to me, I wrap my arms around her, holding her tightly

She cuddles into me, our bodies tangling with each other

She yawns cutely, then snuggles against my neck

"Sleep jagi", I tell her, kissing the top of her head, "I tired you out"

She giggles softly, "You too baby. You were already tired when we started. You have to be exhausted"

She's not wrong but I'll never be to tired to be with her

Never

"Never too tired for you jagi"

"Aw, my baby", she coos, kissing my neck, then move back, looking up at me, "Kiss me then we can both sleep baby"

I smile, immediately pressing my lips to hers in a loving kiss

After, we settle into the bed, wrapped up in each other

"I love you Joongie"

"I love you Jo"

Kissing the top of her hair, I close my eyes, smiling

I hate to say it but I have to thank Wooyoung for being so annoying or I would still be worrying about telling her I love her

I owe him one

[a1sh1teruu]

— STUCK IN SUMMER

— oh, how we love it when the warm sun finally peaks over the clouds, how it warms our skin and has the meadows blooming. how the waters sparkle and shine, the blues, the yellows, all these different colors embracing each other. some of us like a relaxing time in the mountains, getting carried away by the cold, rippling rivers. some of us like it at the coast, near the sea, listening to the waves and the smell of sea salt just wafting through the air. but what happens if those same waves pull us down into a different world, into a more complex world than ours?

welcome to my summer collaboration! now that summer stands on our doorstep, i've decided to host a collaboration to all our fanfiction writers.

what is this collab about?

this collab is all about fantasy and summer! we dive deeper into our fantasies we have in the summertime.

what are the requirements for our writing?

the fic you are writing has to be over one thousand words long and it has to be a fantasy au set in summer.

what fandoms can join?

everyone who writes fanfiction can join!

nsfw or sfw?

as long as you tag everything and put a “read more” divider, than you should be good with darker content too!

the rules:

i do not want to see anything racist, homophobic, islamophobic, xenophobic, ableist, or anything offening towards the people that join! as soon as i see something offending towards someone or a group of people, you will be terminated from this collaboration.

do you have any questions?

for any type of questions, you can dm me! i’ll make a discord server if enough people decide to join, though.

timetable

status : closed

closes : 30.06.2023

deadline : 21.09.2023

application

masterlist

K-POP

— ATEEZ

j.wy — in the heart of the sky by @a1sh1teruu synopsis: the lands of utopia, gifted by the light of mother, were a well balanced realm. undisturbed by the curse of the children of adam and eve. but what happens if the son of adam is born into those precious lands, throwing off the balance mother has created and gifted her children with?

p.sh — utopia by @jaehunnyy synopsis: when the aurora kingdom is in need of help regarding the princess’ fate, all they can do is wait for the chosen one. when seonghwa falls in an abandoned well and wakes up in aurora kingdom, he is intrigued by what he finds out there. can he help the princess, is he the one they were all waiting for, or is it too late for the girl?

c.sn — all's fair in love and war by @justhere4kpop synopsis: your parents left you their beach house when they moved out of the country. you and the neighbor boy always had a strange friendship growing up from the pranks to him standing up for you against beach bullies. it always felt like something was missing while you were away. maybe this is the year for a budding summer romance with the hot neighbor... or maybe this is just a burnt out brain hoping for something more.

k.hj — dreamers by @nebulousbrainsoup synopsis: since infancy, every night has been a gamble for both you and your family. plagued by nightmares that leave you unresponsive for their duration, your only solace is the boy you share them with.

c.sn — precious by @pocketjoong synopsis: as a nature witch, you always wanted your own familiar ever since you were a kid, however, fate seemed to have different plans for you.

c.jh — blue summer by @woosluv synopsis: none yet

k.ys — like a dream by @i-luvsang synopsis: to be whisked away to your estranged grandmother’s house is no where near what you could have hoped for this summer. but you find the countryside beautiful, and the boy in the forest more entrancing than anything at all. instead of the nightmare you expected, you find yourself in a wondrous dream that’s made up of a magical romance, far more literal than you could have ever imagined.

s.mg — cromer by @star1117-archives synopsis: not all imaginary friends let you leave as you grow up. Some refuse to be left in the past, and won’t take being forgotten as lightly as expected.

multi — ocean's envy by @neoteezrenyoung synopsis: after several years, young witch y/n finally goes back to her small coastal town with her license to practice in hand. when she comes back, nothing has changed. except for her two best friends’ attitudes.

— ZEROBASEONE

zhanghao — unbreakable love by @bobariki synopsis: within the parameters of a society where the stars align for only a select few to find their twin flame, your plan for a month-long summer vacation visit to your best friend suddenly veers off course. what unfolds when unmistakable signs hint that you might just be one of the fortunate few?

— TOMMOROW BY TOGETHER

c.bg — the boy behind the blue windows by @impuritywritings synopsis: none yet

h.k — eternal sunshine by @gyumibear synopsis: while on a school trip, the reader accidentally comes across a secret race of merpeople. they want to force her to stay quiet, but one boy helps her get away. he's also her soulmate?

k.th — untitled by @choistick synopsis: none yet

— STRAY KIDS

h.hj — untitled by @svngcore synopsis: none yet

ANIME

— HAIKYU!!

iwaizumi hajime — conjuring romance by @valeriwa synopsis: you were pretty sure the first lesson you learnt in hogwarts was that you couldn't conjure people. so why is it that an incredibly handsome man is standing in front of you when all you wanted was some innocent snow? the sweltering summer heat and feeling like victor frankenstein has got all your plans in a twist.

[downbadreading]

Ateez fic recs

some of this is mature themed so MDNI!

first of all, there's a lot more and i will edit it time by time! thanks for the authors for writing such a great fic that make me enjoy reading so muchh

my main fic recs is here!

THE LEGENDARY FIC IS MIST OF CELESTE BY @hongism (m)

-i've been dying to do this i always think whenever i do my own fic recs this fic MUST be on the very top because it's insane i'm telling you who never heard of moc???

OT8 / ateez x reader

SUBTLE VARIATIONS OF HEARTBREAK by @nonclassyparty (m)

please read this. I am begging. the heartbreak i feel for each chapter??? INSANE. MUST READ AND REREAD.

the answer by @berryunho (m)

A CULT. A HOT CULT LEADER YET I AM ONE THE VERGE TO CRY BECAUSE HOW GOOD IT IS.

into the aurora by @honeyhotteoks (m)

this is so cute. super cute. i'm having emotional attach. btw part 2 is coming soon so if you're done with the first part, stay tuned! it's a poly ateez fics!

like the moon by @sunmoonjune

poly ateez x female oc. i love this. i love bug. i want to protect her so badly i will kill for her. what i really like about this fic is it's so wholesome. read this and you will understand, I SWEAR.

Seonghwa

love is gone by @ateezmakemeweep (m)

i have no words. it's not yet done, but i really love this story. there's another must read story SO PLEASE CHECK THE MASTERLIST

read for me by @pirateprincessblog (m)

(fem reader x best friend's father) this one heheheh it's so fucking hot like you don't get it it's just another tier i'm kicking the ceiling jaw on the floor while reading it.

Wallflower by @tenelkadjowrites

This is not just a sexual thing between an officemate okay it's more than that because i'm so invested on this story. mc and nerdy hwa is so cute and sexy when it come to the time there's four part of this fic!

Accidental Destiny by @hoonieversed (crying throwing up because this blog has been deactivated)

based on how to train your dragon and YEAH IT'S TOOTHLESS HWA (shifter) with healer reader i love the concept

Hongjoong

paradise lost by @setsugekka (m)

i will cry. this fic is so special to me because it changes my reading style and that's how good it is. i remember all the reread session i did before this because I AM OBSESSED.

bla bla bla by @yoongiseesawmp3 (m)

Stylist reader x idol hongjoong their relationship make me wanna cry it's sooooooo good

game of thrones au by @wordstro (m) eventually i think

I'm a sucker for got. even for hod. a fic starring my favourite group with my favourite series? i'm super duper in. there's one part leave from this fic, it contains four part! (and i'm not ready for the ending yet actually)

yunho

the meaning of 'jeong' by @hwaightme

ANYONE JUST KICK ME THIS IS SO URHHHHHH HOW DO I SAY THIS YOU MUST READ IT FIRST AND THEN WELCOME TO A ROLLERCOASTE RIDE OF EMOTIONS

yeosang

laces by @ttalgiwooyu (M)

This makes me blush for soooo long i wanna die. and read it again.

san

ginger and cinnamon tea by @cheollipop (m)

THIS ONE IS SUPER CUTE. AND HOT sick san and caring partner (along with woo's nonsense idea) this is a must read!

2 a.m. || Choi San by @mingigoo (m)

where do i start? idol san with make up artis reader is so hot.

in this place, full of lies: series masterlist by @wordstro (m)

i'm on my knees. the impact this series have on me. the fact i read it on one sitting and it takes hours. YET SO WORTH IT. I LOVE IT. SO MUCH. TO THE CORE. this one is post-apocalyptic world, and i love it.

Say what you want,be my people pleaser by @chokchokk

Still ongoing but the writer can have my kidney for this story I'm so invested you don't understand this is the falling with your fwb when he doesn't (yet idk it's my wild guess) and conflict here and there my I love this way tooooo much

mingi

series 2: sector one of itpfol by @wordstro

-this one is still ongoing and not yet started but it's on a same masterlist as the s1 with different y/n BUT IT'S ON ITPFOL UNIVERSE SO FIGHT ME

wooyoung

i wish you would by @multiland (M)

THIS? so good. so fucking cute and wholesome and hot and bother me so much. reader here is like frustrated with woo because he keep flirting that lead to a situation (NOT GONNA SPOIL IT BUT HOLY SHIT)

° good lil boy by @sorryimananti-romantic

I read this fic at 3 in the morning. By the time I'm finished with it, it's nearly 4 (or past already) and I can't sleep because this fic is so super duper good. Prince wooyoung and princess y/n (different continent they're not related!!!) And I love their banter so much

jongho

PLEASE SUGGEST ME SOME

multi member

starring roles by @nonclassyparty (san and mingi) (m)

BIG CLAP FOR THIS ONE. you know this is more y/n centered like i couldn't care less with who she ended up with i want her to be happy and be her. i root for her and i will kick anyone who mess with her on their ass. (i do care ofc but you know what i mean y/n is everything for me!)

not all that glitter is gold by @the7thcrow (seonghwa, san, wooyoung and reader) (m)

a great storyline. a super duper great one. i can go on days about this fic and the backstory of each of them. IT'S INSANE! eventually poly!