#at this point im thinking I'll text her back that if she cant find someone by the time she moves out to cover her last months rent then

[staronet]

"This is fine, I'm all good!"

[leelee10898]

The great escape

This is from the Cordonians gone wild AU, a collaborative effort by @ao719, @speedyoperarascalparty, @cocomaxley, @riseandshinelittleblossom and myself. You can find other adventures HERE

Pairings: Leo x Alicia, Liam x Anitah

Rating: Mature. Erotic content inside.

"I don't think I can take another tea party, or graden party, or whatever fucking party comes next." Alicia groaned as she tossed herself onto the couch in Leo's quaters. "Seriously Leo. How many parties does one need during an engagement?" Leo chuckled as he leaned down "we sneak away often." His hot breath on her neck. She sat up a smile on her face "we do, yes. I just, I need to get away from all of this" she waved her hands around the room "just for a little while." "Well, then I guess we are sneaking out." Leo grinned.

"Shit." Alicia turned. "Ahh hey Nitah, we're umm, going for a drive?" Anitah stood there arms crossed, it was clear she didnt buy it. "Was that a question or a statement? Because you are a terrible Liar." She snorted. Her eyes went wide taking in the way Alicia was dressed. A pair of tight distressed Jeans and an equally tight tank top, her hair in soft beach waves. Leo dressed down in a jeans and a button up. "You two are going out! Im going."

"Liam will flip if he finds out." Leo sighed. "Just leave him to me, seriously I cant take another garden party. I need to get hammered. Just give me 10 minutes." She turned on her heels and took off towards her room. She returned a few minutes later, changed her clothes and off they went.

They walked into the bar and found a booth in the corner, Leo went to get them some drinks. "Liam is going to flip out when he finds out we snuck out." Alicia giggled. "He will, but, I like when hes Mad." Anitah winked.

Leo returned with the drinks and a few shots. "I say we play a drinking game, it'll be fun." Alicia grinned. "Ok, what kind of drinking game are you thinking love?" "Never have I ever." Anitah pipped up. "Yes! I say the first 2 questions we take a sip, but very 4 questions we take a shot." Alicia smirked at Anitah, Anitah nodded and fired off the first question. "Never have I ever... snuck out of a palace." They groaned and took a drink. "Never have I ever snuck into my house Naked." All three took a drink. Leo looked at the girls "skinny dipping in the Anitahs neighbor's pool, truth or dare, they stole our clothes." Alicia giggled. "My turn." Leo gave that sly smirk. "Never have I ever had sex with someone in this room." Both Alicia and him took a drink "wait a minute, thats not fair.. and I do believe thats a shot for you two." Anitah pushed the shot glasses towards them. They took the shot and the fired off a few more questions. "Never have I ever smoked pot." All three drank. "Never ever have I fell sleep during sex." The words were starting to get mixed up. Leo took a shot. And the girls laughed. "Never have I ever kissed my bestest friend." Anitah giggled as the two took a drink. Leos eyes perked up "really?" "Spin the bottle in ummm 11th grade? 9th grade?" Alicia laughed as Anitah shook her head. "Never have I ever had sex in the hedge maze." Alicia spat out. Anitah guzzled her drink and took a shot. Leo took a drink as well and leaned in towards Alicia. "You didn't drink, I'll make sure to change that tonight." Alicia's lips crashed down on his. Anitah banged her hand on the table. "Ok ok enough you two. "Never have I ever had sex in a bathroom stahl." Anitah grinned at Alicia, Alicia rolled her eyes and both Leo and Alicia drank. "Gotta love New York." Leo chuckled.

"Ok ok newgame. Gimme your phones." Alicia and Leo handed their phones to Anitah and she placed them in the middle of the table. "Ok we each grab a phone, and create a text to any person in their contacts. The owner has to make a choice do they take a shot or do they allow the person to send said text without knowing what was written." They each reached for a phone Alicia grabbed Leos, Anitah grabbed Alicias and Leo grabbed Anitahs. Anitah drew up a text to Alicias ex Mark saying she (meaning Alicia) thought he had a pencil dick and she was screwing a literal prince. Alicia opened Leos contacts and found Madelines name. A wild grin spread across her face as she fired off a text. Leos opened up a text to his brother simply saying the word balls over and over again. "Ok I have Alicias phone. Do you let me send the text or take a shot?" Anitah waved the phone in the air. "Mmmm I love you, but I dont trust you Nitah. Im taking the shot." Anitah laughed. "I planned on telling mark you were screwing a prince and had a pencil dick." Alicia rolled her eyes "all true." She grinned batting her lashes at Leo. "Ok my turn, Leo.. text or shot?" Leo grabbed the shot glass gulping it down "go ahead and send the text Love." He winked as Alicia pressed send. "I told Madeline that you would be in the hedge maze later tonight." Alicia giggled. "Ok Anitah, drink or text?" Leo chuckled. "Yeah thats a shot, you'll probably send Liam a text and I do NOT need him finding out im here." Leo grinned as he handed her back the phone. Anitah grabbed the phone, not realizing her finger accidentally pressed send.

They made their way to the dance floor. Anitah and Alicia dancing around while Leo hung back at the bar.

Back at the palace Liams phone pinged on the desk in front of him. He had some paperwork that needed to be dealt with, so Anitah went to their quaters while he went to work. He looked at his phone, A message from Anitah continuously repeating balls. "What the hell?" He replied, but got no response. He decided to check their quaters to ask her what the text was all about, but once he got there Anitah was no where to be found. "Bastien, I need you to ping Anitahs cell phone, it seems she has disappeared." A few minutes later Bastien appeared. "I have a location."

Meanwhile at the bar Anitah had made friends with some locals and told them her name was Pam. When she was told she looked like the future queen to be she responded by saying "I get that all the time."

Leo and Alicia were on the dance floor trapped in a heated make out session. Anitah spotted Bastien out of the the corner of her eye and made a dash to the dance floor. "Ok you two, we've been made, we need to make a quick exit."

Alicia laughed very loudly "we've been made? You sound like were on some ops mission and our covers been blown."

"It has, now get down and crawl with me. Bastien has found us." Anitah started to army crawl across the floor when she stopped in front of a familiar pair of shoes. "Crawling somewhere, my love?" She let out a low groan "craaaaaaap." She looked up to see Liam hovering over her. "Ahhh Hi Liam." He reachex down helping her up, Leo and Alicia approached. Liam turned to face his brother "I cant believe you would sneak the future queen out of the palace, do you know the scandal it could have caused?"

Alicia slapped Leo on the chest "yeah Leo, what were you thinking?" He gave her a confused look, before looking back at Anitah who was wearing a pleading look. "Ah yeah, sorry Li, I dont know what I was thinking." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Is this the first time you've done this my love?" He questioned Anitah as they made their way to the bar so Liam could get a drink before they left. "Ahh huh, sure yup."

The bar tender approached. "The usual?" Alicia and Anitahs shoulders dropped. Liam gave the bar tender a pointed look "so you know these two?" "Alicia and Pam? Sure they come in all the time..." he grinned "oh Hey Leo." He waved as he walked away. "fuck you Doug." Alicia yelled. "One time you say, Pam?" Liam arched his brow. "Ok so more then once, but hey I used an alias." Anitah giggled.

Liam decided to stay and have some drinks. They got completely wasted and Bastien had to have Brad help carry Liam to the car. Bastien drove Leos car while Brad drove the four back in the SUV.

Anitah slid up to the front of the car "Hey Brad, you know you have really nice hair." She started running her fingers through his hair. "Ah ah tha thank you miss." Brad stammered Alicia slid up next Anitah tangling her fingers through his hair "Oh you really do, and cute at that." "Alicia, come here." Leo called, but was ignored. "Do you work out Brad? Because your ripped." Anitah grabbed his muscular arm. "I ah, I do." Brad gulped looking in the rearview mirror at the king, praying he did not kill him. "Alicia feel, hes so muscular." Alicia ran her hand across his chest. "Mm he is." She agreed. "Ok, that's enough down girls!" Leo grabbed onto Alicia's waist pulling her towards him. "Dont worry Leo, hes got nothing on you." Alicia whispered into his ear.

Anitah climbed into the back of the Suv with Liam. Flipping over the seat landing head first, she was wedged in between the seat and the floor. "Heeeelp, heeeelp." She yelled as her feet kicked in the air. Liam tried to help her up but ended up falling in between the seats himself. The two laughing hysterically as they pulled up to the palace, Bastien and Brad helping Liam and Anitah up and out of the car, and into their suit.

Leo pulled Alica through the palace to the garden, he lead her into the hedge maze. His hands gripping her waist pulling her into him. "I believe I made you a promise earlier." He growled into her ear as his fingers worked to remove her clothes, Alicia returned the favor removing his shirt, jeans and boxers. He pulled her onto the ground, climbing ontop of her, linging his thick long length up with her wanting center and plunged into her. "Fuck you feel amazing love." He moaned out. He settled onto his knees as he pulled her up, he set a slow rough pace. "Oh god, yes Leo." She moaned as he hit that spot, it didnt take long before she gave into her first release.

"Flip over baby, I'm not finished with you yet." He pulled her up on all fours as he sunk into her again. This time picking up the pace as he thrust into her at a vigorous speed. One hand gripped her hips while the other gripped her hair, allowing him to penetrate deeper into her core. "Oh fuck Leo, right there dont stop." She screamed.

As they became lost in the feeling of each other they heard a loud gasp. "Oh my god." They turned to find Madeline standing there mouth agape. Alicia giggled "I see you got my text, sorry Maddie Leos unavailable right now." Madeline huffed and turned and left as Leo continued thursting into Alicia with force "Fuck Alicia you feel so good. Come for me." He demanded as she felt her coil snap she came screaming his name. As they finished the stood and dressed, they walked hand in hand back into the palace towards Leos quaters. "Stay with me tonight?" Leo breathed into her neck. "Do I ever not?" She giggled as he pushed her against the door. "We should sneak out more often." He whispered as gis lips found hers in a heated kiss. "Round 2?" She purred. He gave her a sly grin "Until round 3 and 4." His lips found hers again as he opened the door slamming it behind them.

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[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: Heyo boo Ali: thanks for Rocky wrangling with me today, you're now also his fave so, add that to your tally Carly: its k i had fun Carly: hes a cutie & cool kid Ali: me too Ali: yeah, he's alright, but cocky enough so I ain't telling him Ali: dunno where he gets that from 😏 Carly: ha Carly: yea idk Carly: no clue Ali: i'm sorry Ro was being off btw, I'm working out why but trust it wasn't you, babe Ali: been neglecting her lately, everyone wants a piece of me Ali: hard life Carly: idc its me too Carly: nobody wants a piece but you Ali: I just told you that ain't true, and Rocky is ruthless, he called one of my customers a 'big bum witch' the other day Ali: no tip for me, thanks dickhead Ali: but I want all of you regardless Ali: willing to throw hands Carly: aw Carly: this town is full of big bum witches tho Carly: my ma back for one Carly: but are you willing to use those hands for good too or Ali: awks if that was your Ma, like hey gurl, I think you rock it Ali: your daughter ain't bad either Ali: you know it, IOU 'cos we couldn't make like we were in the backrow of the cinema Carly: unless she been lying about where she at i think youve avoided meeting the in laws again Carly: k cuz you kno i need to collect soon Carly: bored Carly: just back and zoned out so fast Ali: ain't even got exciting stories from their galavanting? fucking rude Ali: at least when we go AWOL we also go wild Ali: make things happen, lads Carly: my ma's good for nothing but hairspray and peroxide Carly: only use if i get beat up again Carly: my da's good for cash tho if you wanna get wild w me Ali: or you wanna single white female me Ali: which would be a disappointing outcome to say the least Ali: can't tonight babe, I've gotta have some sister time Ali: go hard for both of us Carly: k Carly: try not to miss me bad when shes talking about me Ali: oh babe, she will not, and if she does I'll set her straight Ali: gonna let the world know you're my 😇 Carly: whatever her issue shes gotta air it and youre her sister so you gotta hear it Carly: idc shes not gonna hurt me w it Carly: and setting peeps straight is the opposite of how you do, babe Ali: true Ali: idk what issue she could have though, you're a literal ray of sunshine Ali: true again 😏 Ali: ugh, imma miss you Ali: maybe i can sneak out when she's gone to bed, the 'rents too Carly: i miss you now Carly: cant hear my parents say shit Carly: i just wanna talk to you Carly: dont tell me maybe & keep me waiting tho Ali: i will Ali: promise Carly: i dont wanna make trouble for you Carly: w anyone Carly: you can stay w her if you need to stay Ali: You won't Ali: I can do both Ali: be back before first light Ali: even if I'll miss watching the sun rise on your face 😔 Ali: we've got the night, baby Carly: but you kno if ive got you for the whole night youre gonna fall asleep Carly: thats what im good at Carly: feel free to tell your sister thats why you like me ha Carly: fun & tiring its magic Ali: hmm, we'll see who wears who out first, babe Ali: and if I am that husband, then you'll just have to wake me up with morning sex like the good little wifey you are 😘😂 Carly: always bringing that confidence i like it Carly: k but if my parents wake up too you can explain its a duty thing yea i had to like Ali: i like you Ali: for so many reasons and imma show you all of 'em tonight Ali: fuck that Ali: stay out with me, its warm enough Ali: i'll trace all the constellations out with my tongue so you won't ever forget Ali: educational Carly: my ma is asking me what im blushing about Carly: i told her what you said but she's not a believer Carly: support my education bitch Carly: ha Ali: i mean, i'd offer to let her see the benefits for herself but Ali: not gonna win me any brownie points 'cos she won't take me up on it Carly: she dont kno what she's missing but i do Carly: wish you were here Ali: me too Ali: start the party without me babe, i don't mind Carly: too late if you do Carly: gotta get through this reunion some way Ali: they aren't making you watch a slideshow, are they? Ali: fate worse than death Ali: Maybe you could go to Ronan's? Lmao, he's been up in my pussy way too much since he found out about us...didn't think we were THAT loud but ok boy Carly: yea Carly: might do cuz same Carly: but what if i miss you he can really make a night of it when he wants Ali: Nah, I won't let you face that disappointment, babe Ali: my spidey senses will tingle like not on my watch, fuckboy Carly: aw Carly: you gonna come get me? Carly: thats no way to get him out your pussy babe fyi Ali: yeah Ali: I know but I like the idea of showing you off as mine Ali: but no sharing, he only gets to watch and be mad he fucked it up Carly: i like it too Carly: youre hot when youre oneupping fuckboys Carly: i thought i knew how to do it best but k youre flipping the script Ali: as long as i'm besting them i'm doing my job right Ali: gotta keep you on-board Carly: speak of the devil Carly: how he know i was alone & horny Carly: my parents have only gone to the shops its uncanny Ali: know your neighbours but bit stalkerish, pal Ali: i'll text him to fuck off, freak him out Ali: how does she know, ha, two can play this game fucko and I'm more committed Carly: ha Carly: you gotta Carly: hes smoking im gonna bum one see what line he tries to lay on before the text sends Ali: On it Ali: gotta let him know there's a queue to court the princess now and he's at the back, soz Carly: he likes hitting it from the back he wont be put off Carly: im gonna show him some of the hot pics i took of you tho Ali: when is he ever tbf? 🐶👅💦 Carly: true Carly: that fucking cute tho aren't i Ali: you know it babe Carly: hes talking to my da now Carly: kill me Ali: how fucking dare he Ali: knowing he has the upper hand with the man bants Ali: i know how to change a tire too! love me! Carly: if my ma invites him in for tea im out of here Carly: she will think hes hot under the collar for her & bitch thats my groundwork Ali: Run baby run Ali: what kinda moron is he tho Ali: coulda had a private show if you just waited, now its all saturday night telly and flat lager Carly: you kno i have nowhere to go if you dont want me babe Carly: facts Carly: he likes me now he cant have me what a fucking Carly: like i wouldve fucked you but im not getting w you Ali: i do, is this full sos crisis mode though? 'cos i need to be good for a lil while longer yet Ali: such a typical bloke move that Ali: bet he ain't the only boy in ur inbox, not a pun Ali: 'cos he ain't in mine like 🙄 Carly: its k your sister needs you Carly: i can keep walking Carly: loads of other lads on site as well as in my inbox Carly: & they arent trying to say hi to me before we get down to it nevermind my parents Ali: 😾 Carly: why so sad blue eyed boo Ali: i don't like how lads treat you Ali: i'm not jealous, like swear to god, even though i obviously want you all to myself, i get it Ali: but i'm not about how shit they are to you, even if you don't care, they should care to be decent humans Carly: thats not lads its everyone Carly: youre the only one treating me different Carly: they dont know how else to be Carly: made my bed babe Ali: nah Ali: you don't deserve half the shit you get, that's bullshit Ali: and even the rest, people just don't wanna try to understand or be good, heaven forfend they inconvineince themselves for one second, like Carly: if im a slag im a slag i dont get to put conditions on it Carly: if it was a film maybe Carly: but theres no romance coming my way from theres and i dont want it Ali: why can't you just be you? someone who likes fucking, among other things Ali: not romance just like...not being a cunt Ali: idk Ali: pisses me off Carly: cuz you don't run the world even tho you strut it like you do and i love it Ali: not yet, babe Ali: one day, and you can be my right hand woman Carly: yea? Carly: take me w you & ill take you to all your fave places k Ali: k Ali: we'll be fun forever, I promise you Carly: gotta be Ali: you know i like you even when you ain't tho Ali: don't tell Carly: who would i Carly: ronans got enough for his wank bank & nobody else is chatting to me rn Ali: exactly, ruins the illusion and fantasy when they realise i care about you Ali: so unsexy of me Carly: youre sexy to me Carly: idc what they think Ali: good Ali: me either Carly: i like you too you kno Ali: yeah Ali: i had my suspicions Carly: i dont have any subtlety sorry about it Ali: Don't be Ali: I love it Ali: not enough people say what they mean or want, ever Carly: waste Carly: k i wasnt shouting how bad i wanted to kiss you before i did but not cuz i was bothered about me Ali: agreed Ali: sometimes you can't know you want something until you've got it Ali: i get it Carly: you get me Carly: its weird Ali: 🔮 Carly: ha Carly: k what am i thinking now Ali: wouldn't be proper to say Ali: tut tut bad girl Ali: like how you think though Carly: fuck Carly: youre good Ali: 🤷 don't mean to brag but remember that phrase you'll be screaming it later Ali: such a Ronan line, I can't 😂 Carly: but true Carly: not like when he says it Ali: 😍 Carly: what you doing w your sister Carly: gotta live through that cuz bored Ali: Fixing my weave Ali: getting into a white girl dread territory over here Ali: then gonna do some 🔮 forreal Ali: get ready for me to be even more of a know it all baby Carly: cute Carly: tell me my future i got some shit from another neighbor & im waiting for it to kick Carly: hows it gonna treat me Carly: needing a good trip Ali: we'll see who gets the answer first Ali: you got anything for me? Carly: yea Carly: they mystery but i kno you arent scared Carly: & you got me doing a test run rn lying on here on the grass Ali: 🌌 be there before it fades away my space explorer Carly: if you find me at a bad end prob dont take it Ali: is one of the lads trip sitting you Carly: so he reckons but hes drinking so theres no trust Carly: & he gave me it Carly: his game could be me lights out idk Ali: keep texting me, okay babe? Ali: if shit gets too real, tell me and I'll come early Ali: my sis is cool now, she gets what we're doing, she was just confused Carly: aw Carly: youre sweet Carly: you told her you like me Ali: 'course I did Ali: I ain't ashamed Ali: I'm proud Carly: youre gonna make me cry Ali: You're special, Carly Ali: You're gonna see Carly: I just wanna see you tho Ali: Me too Ali: I'm gonna make her some chamomile tea and then I'm coming, yeah? Carly: but thats not fair to her Carly: she's not gonna be a fan of me Ali: I've promised her more time tomorrow Ali: You need me rn Carly: but what if i want you to stay Carly: what are we gonna do then Ali: i'll stay until you're ready for me to go Carly: you mean that? Ali: yes Ali: promise, imma take care of you Carly: but theres nothing in it for you Carly: youve already got me you dont have to Ali: i wanna keep you Ali: and not just selfishly Ali: you gotta stick around, you're too cool to go anywhere, okay Carly: k Carly: im here & if you wanna be im not stopping you Ali: good Ali: i wanna be wherever you are Carly: i kept you pills back the lads didnt want me to but idc about them & you can follow me in now Ali: fuck them Ali: just me and you Carly: yea Carly: ill look after you too Ali: 😇 Ali: i know, i trust you Carly: idk if you should Carly: but i like it Ali: willing to take my chances Ali: you're worth it Carly: thats you Ali: i'm so glad i met you Carly: me too Carly: not that i met me thats weird Carly: you know what i mean Ali: i got you Ali: not high yet 😉 Carly: id seen you around before you guardian angel'd me that night Carly: thats weird too Carly: that i didnt see you how i do now Ali: it is Ali: you were always cute but Ali: idk, i can't claim to have seen this in my crystal ball Carly: thats cuz i wasnt cute i was a state Carly: & youd have more likely seen me sucking ronans dick Carly: look away babe you dont need to have that image in your mind Ali: don't need him reckoning he plays part in any of my fantasies, nah Ali: you can't not be cute, no matter how you try, soz babe Carly: you can't not be so sweet to me can you Ali: dunno Ali: not tried Carly: idk what id do if you did Carly: i got used to it Ali: got no plans to stop Ali: unless you ask me to, like Carly: thats not gonna be what i ask you to do Carly: trust me Ali: you can tell me all about it Ali: 5 minutes, tops Carly: okay

[punkscowardschampions]

Carly & Ali

Carly: last nite was good of you Carly: saying thanks cuz i read my text from last nite & it was Carly: I cudnt read it k thats facts Ali: nah, don't mention it, no bitch left behind Ali: plus, I know the cunt doing the ditching, been there, like Ali: was trying to translate but yeah, you were pretty fucked 😂 Ali: how you feeling this am? 💚 Carly: yea? hes not that bad Carly: im a slag like he said tbh Carly: feeling like i had a decent nite all things considered Carly: you? Ali: Gurl, yes he is and no you ain't! Ali: Probably Ali: Who cares if you are, he is, and the rest Ali: I dated him for a bit, so there's no shady, tryna steal your man on the sly going on, don't worry Ali: much the same, my head feels like someone took my eyes out and shoved 'em up my arse, you know? Ali: standard sunday vibes Carly: aw you're sweet but it's no diss on me Carly: like ive cheated on him a few times Carly: but he does it too you're right w that Carly: hes a good fuck when he's not too wasted tho which you kno if you got it too Carly: you're single now tho? Carly: can have him back if you want Ali: Fair play Ali: why not call it open and call it a day? Ali: Probs 'cos he likes fighting as much as he likes fucking Ali: Meh, yeah, was passable, gotta have some reason to keep him around, like Ali: Nah, going out with the girl that drove us back Ali: Remember? Dark hair, angry Carly: yea Carly: you know Carly: shit my bad Carly: she was scary is what i've got in my head Carly: idk my head is sketch cant trust it Ali: That's a fair assessment, I reckon Ali: She wouldn't hate it either so you good 😉 Carly: pretty tho Carly: call it a trade up Ali: Yeah, she's cute Ali: you need any more of the night filling in lemme know, I'll do my best Ali: it was pretty standard though, nothing too wild Carly: no faking it w her cuz shes too drunk Carly: designated driver be like Carly: last i see i was getting with his friend lowkey and he went off about it im blank from then Ali: its a fucking gay crime to ever fake it, no matter what Ali: I can get behind that one tho, not got the time or energy tbh Ali: yeah i think him and his friend then got in a scrap and then they left Ali: bros before hoes mentality hardcore, like idk, have fun jerking each other off then, if that's ur vibe boys Carly: k that sounds legit from what i caught on his socials Carly: didnt upload the circle jerk bless Carly: gay crimes must of been committed Ali: sad face Ali: coulda spat on his back Ali: protip Carly: ill let him know when he texts me later Carly: how did you kno where i live? state of me Carly: sorry to drag you this way Ali: plottwist, i'm a massive stalker with bad intentions Ali: I truly don't know, but I'll tell Lene she should be a cabbie 'cos she managed and I don't think we got any puke in her car Carly: k big lesbian crush on me yea Carly: ioher lots Carly: stealing her girl and wrecking her car in one Ali: Naturally, you cute Ali: I'll give you her number if you like, or just pass along the thanks and soz Carly: awh you're cuter Carly: probs still drunk tho Carly: giving me those kind words Carly: you handle the now ex if you love me Ali: Hahaha, he'd LOVE that Ali: ghosts of gf past Ali: Let me and I'll love you forever Carly: go for it Ali: let's see if I've still got his number Ali: this contact list is a minefield of mistakes but the real embarrassment would be getting them muddled up, fo'shame! Carly: i can give it Carly: used it more recently than you Carly: up there at my top Ali: won't be tellin' him that Ali: don't need the ego boost Ali: but tah Carly: makes it more fun to fuck him over if you praise him first Carly: but maybe thats me Ali: like a shit sandwich Ali: I get it Carly: hungry for anything but that rn Carly: [Sends the number tho] Ali: wanna come for brunch Ali: now you are newly gay Ali: that's what they do, fucking sex in the city up in dis bitch Carly: yea? weird Carly: not what i thought Carly: awh first date tho Ali: forreal, even the butch ones, don't let 'em fool you, its all fancy fucking eggs and screwdrivers by 11am Ali: you call 'em mimosas tho, gotta pretend you're being classy Carly: wtf is a screwdriver Ali: Babe! Ali: Vodka and orange juice Carly: i call it that Carly: gays and their labels Ali: save it for the rant sesh honey Ali: love you talking about how men ain't shit as well Carly: thats the ones i fuck Carly: cant be bringing no poshos to a caravan Ali: Posh boys are only good for the money anyway, I'm sure Ali: not finding any in 24 like regardless Carly: not gonna find out if they do drive by now im a lesbian wife Carly: sorry lads Ali: they had their chance Ali: unlucky boys Carly: should prob tell me your name again if im taking it Ali: Ruins the mystery a bit but alright Ali: Its Ali Ali: Ali McKenna if we're being formal Carly: k you've got the hot brothers Carly: makes sense Ali: 🤔 Ali: I think you're thinking of someone else, babe Carly: not trying to have our first fight but you coulda told me before we got hitched, bitch Carly: you're still hot tho don't be sad Ali: so you could run off with one of my brothers? i think not Ali: unless you meant Tommy 'cos he's very single but that's unlikely because he's never here Ali: stuck with me for now, hoe 😘 Carly: a slag like me could do worse Carly: has Ali: bitch, same Ali: we can compare notes, see how many regrets we got in common Carly: yea Carly: doing it Ali: Good, save it for brunch 'cos I'm coming forreal Ali: we don't have to deal with a gaggle of gossiping gays tho, bring you a maccies breakfast? Carly: k Carly: be fun Carly: you are from what i remember Ali: I like that Ali: No bullshit Ali: Imma start all interactions like be fun please or I'm out Ali: ✌ bringing the fun and the bacon babe Carly: you're not bringing your gf are you Ali: Nah, how awkward, meet the missus, honey Carly: like there's usually a lad in my trio sorry Carly: still learning this lesbian life Ali: oh, are you bi legit? Ali: she's way too jealous for threesomes, you're good Carly: nah i just know what lads want Ali: Oh gurl Ali: that's why Lene ain't coming Ali: the lecture you're avoiding Carly: idc Carly: youre my wife now bitch Ali: 💍💍 Ali: Productive morning, if I do say so myself Ali: and we're hanging, fuck with us Carly: good influence of you cuz i havent done fuck all this week Ali: Hard work being a bi icon, babe Ali: wait 'til I get you on the yoga hype Carly: wtf Carly: is that a joke Ali: nah, I've already done half an hour this morning Carly: bitch i had my fingers crossed you mistyped yogurt Carly: i love you but its a no Ali: 😂 lets be really into yogurt, not fancy stuff, like fucking froobs Carly: phallic Carly: slurping on my dick shaped yogurt Ali: exactly Ali: what do men love more than a representation of their genitals shoved in your mouth? nothing, is the answer, bar the real thing Ali: so seductive Carly: they don't like food in bed tho, but maybe thats my technique Carly: thinking you could use whatever Carly: k just gonna dump this curry out yea bear with Ali: spicy Ali: imagine the yeast infection you'd get from a fromage frais Carly: like sorry but if i can handle cum in my eye you can deal with some saag aloo boy Carly: googling those symptoms would be a laff tho Ali: ugh, now i want indian Carly: date 2, babe Ali: 😍 Ali: this is all moving so fast Ali: 'bout it Carly: thats all i kno about lesbians k Ali: Its so true Ali: Can confirm Carly: is your gf gonna be mad that im flirting with you Carly: cuz im scrappy but she's scary Ali: 😂 Ali: Probably but when I tell her you're straight she'll have to chill Ali: yeah, we're married BUT SHE'S STRAIGHT, BABE Carly: can't tell her how many girls ive fucked cuz i dont remember Carly: convenient Ali: Best keep that on the DL, yeah Ali: like your blatant gay feelings for me Carly: k Carly: been a secret before no big Ali: Awh babe, ain't nothing dirty about this Ali: I shall tell the world Carly: you're sweet Ali: Probably not if you still wanna be getting that D but you know, noblest intentions, like Carly: im over it Carly: go off Ali: when your pussy's the cure Ali: how can I be humble now? 😏 Carly: dont be Carly: proud slags who fucking love froobs Carly: its a mood Ali: that is a whole ass mood Ali: put it on a t-shirt, babe Carly: earn some bread for my table Ali: solid business plan Ali: we can't be the only ones Carly: independent women who don't need no dick Carly: anymore Ali: hell yeah! Ali: unless that dick wanna pay the bills, in which case we'll let 'em Ali: so we can get more froobs Carly: point Ali: oh no, someone put a pic of Molly Briggs vomming on Insta Ali: 1. gross 2. who hasn't been there, poor bitch Carly: sad Carly: hope she's alright Ali: I'd ask but don't really know her and her phone must already be blowing up Ali: plus she threw a netball right in my face once and I don't forget, bitch Ali: jk, I'll just report the pic 😂 Carly: they all call me a whore cba to keep track of which mollys or other bitches Ali: She is a bit of a bitch, ain't gonna sugarcoat it so probably Ali: not saying Karmas real but posted on that friggin' TallaghtSlags page so 🤷 Ali: grab a froob, darling Carly: her name makes me wanna party with her dad but thats as far as im fucking with that family Carly: or mum i dont know who picked it like Ali: Init, proper old skool ravers, obvs Ali: think I'm out of eccies, sadly Ali: last night depleted me Carly: Watch me call my son Bennie cos I got anxiety, baby Ali: Cute tho, whole medicine cabinet of babies Carly: why not im married now Ali: We'll get on that, date 3, like Carly: where you taking me? Ali: up the wheyyyyyyyyyy Ali: well, we had brunch, indian, obvs we're fat bitches Ali: get on that chinese buffet life Carly: you can get on your yoga mat tho Carly: im fucked Carly: letting myself go so soon my bad Ali: Please, you're perfect Ali: I'll have all the kids if you want Carly: blushing is what i am Carly: how many you want? Ali: how many people names are there for drugs? molly bennie mandy charlie umm Ali: and our preachy child, frank Carly: ha Carly: tina that's one Ali: Ooh, yes, a gay icon Carly: billy, bud our weak child, cosmic kelly who's gonna have to style that out Ali: oh kelly, I hope you have the personality to match or we've really fucked you over there, soz babe Carly: can't forget dimitri, lucy or mandy Carly: sweet sweet mary joy Ali: My fanny hurts just thinking about it Carly: christine and tina are obvs twins thats a relief Carly: how manys that? Ali: 13 Ali: Unlucky for some but my actual lucky number! Ali: Fated Carly: ha Carly: it's love and keeps being proven Ali: can't fight what's clearly so right Carly: true Ali: you want a milkshake Ali: i'm having one Carly: yea Carly: strawberry Ali: 'cos u so sweet 💚 Carly: awww Ali: I shall be right there, with brunch fit for a pair of proud slags Carly: k Carly: my parents arent here no need to break the news of wedded bliss Ali: Would be a weird first impression but I could rock it Ali: new fave in-law? I think so Carly: yea Carly: cant fight fate like Carly: been said Ali: forreal, catch me outside if you got something to say, lads Ali: alone time with the bae is always good tho Carly: you kno Carly: love you bitch Ali: love ya 😘