#at most she'll probably just be passive-aggressive towards me for a while. which like，whatever

[rubys-domain]

really trying to stay up because my mom wants me to go with her to church tomorrow. i know it's a rather childish tactic, but i really don't want to go

[0809sysblings]

weapons the prisoners would play in Splatoon

I primarily play ranked/anarchy, so most of what I say will be from that perspective 👍. also it's kinda obvious from my picks that I have a defensive and supportive playstyle, so I have a bit of a bias towards those kinds of weapons lol.

read more cause this is kinda long and so people not into Splatoon can easily scroll past <3

Haruka

Haruka would play a support weapon that would allow him to be as passive as possible while still contributing to the team. he'd probably spend most of the match keeping mid inked and special farming.

so I think the N-ZAP '89 would be a weapon he'd like to play. he'd really like autobombs because it'd help him feel safer knowing he can chuck one to where he wants to go and it'll reveal any sharkers so he doesn't get jumpscared.

Yuno

I think Yuno would play a more niche weapon. she'd want a weapon that's a bit more engaging than just holding down ZR, so she'd probably find playing the basic shooters pretty boring. she'd be a very strategic player, probably the type of player to like to bait opponents and take advantage of the weaknesses of their weapons. she'd be especially good at predicting what both her teammates and opponents will do.

all of this would make her a great backliner. so, I think she'd maybe like playing the Tri-stringer. it's a pretty fun and mentally engaging weapon to play if you know how to use it. she'd love taking advantage of the AoE properties of the charged shots and using them to make opponents go where she wants.

Fuuta

already talked about him, although it was mostly in a shitpost-y manner lol. but I do think he'd play the Range Blaster. he'd think the design is sick as fuck. I Know his ass would've loved the Grim Range Blaster from Splat 1 and 2.

he probably has a bit of a superiority complex surrounding the fact that he doesn't only play the current meta picks. but he absolutely trashes on the widely-considered weaker weapons, too.

Muu

I think Muu would be both an aggressive and passive player. she'll challenge you, but the second she's at a disadvantage she's running away. she probably likes flanking.

so I think she'd like the Octobrush Nouveau. not the vanilla Octobrush because I think she'd be too intimidated by Zipcaster to want to play it lol. this weapon would give her a lot of mobility, making it easier to run away strategically retreat. she probably uses squid beakons pretty selfishly, not really going out of her way to put them down in good spots for her teammates. (also I would make a Nouveau Haha French joke, but unfortunately the Japanese name for it does not include any reference to the word nouveau 😔...)

Shidou

let's pretend Shidou is not an adult with a Highly demanding job that would definitely not allow him to spend significant time playing video games. Shidou would definitely play support. he's very focused on the objective. he finds it more rewarding to help protect and backup his teammates rather than to challenge opponents on his own. he's the teammate that covers your jumps for you and always responds to callouts.

so I think he'd be naturally drawn to the Tenta Brella. the vanilla variant is bit more support-oriented than the Sorella variant which has a more aggressive special, so I think he'd probably lean towards the vanilla. he'd maybe switch it up though depending on what he thinks would help push objective best based on the map and mode.

Mahiru

Mahiru would be the type of player to just want to have fun. she probably only plays turf war and would want to do fun things and match outfits and weapons with people she gets to play with. Splatfests are her favorite thing, and she makes sure to ignore any salty plaza posts.

and so for the life of me I cannot come up with any actual weapon assignment other than I think she'd like playing around with an inkbrush because then she could draw cutesy things like hearts or smiley faces with it. she'll just play whatever will make her and anyone she plays with happiest.

Kazui

Kazui is gay so obviously he plays Splatoon. /j I don't have much to say on what his playstyle would be or what kind of player he'd be tbh... what I do know though is that he would play with stick controls because he's "an old man who doesn't understand motion controls".

maybe it's just the fact that he's very strong and has a solid physique, but I think he'd like splatlings, specifically the Nautilus 47 or the Hydra Splatling. while the Hydra Splatling fits the Strong Man vibes better, I think he'd also find the Nautilus 47's charge-holding gimmick neat and would like playing it because of that. something something it references him hiding his true self and sleight of hand tricks, idk.

Amane

Amane would definitely not be allowed to play Splatoon, or the vast majority (if not all) of video games for that matter, but... let's just pretend she plays video games.

thank you to @/laniemae for bringing up the umbrella Amane has in The Purge March MV and suggesting a brella for her, because that is what I'll be going with! I think she'd play the Splat Brella. specifically the vanilla variant as opposed to its Sorella counterpart. mostly just due to the fact that I feel like her playstyle would be safer and more defensive, which wouldn't match well with the Sorella Brella's more aggressive kit and especially its much riskier special.

Mikoto

I'm gonna give each of the 3 alters their own weapon(s). because I want to <3

Mikoto perhaps it's just the reference to 3 in its name, but I think Mikoto would play the Tri-Slosher Nouveau. he probably doesn't have that great of aim, so he'd like weapons with a wide hitbox where aiming isn't important. I think he'd love fizzy bombs, so he'd pick the Nouveau over the vanilla. and more importantly he'd be awful at Inkjet because of the aforementioned bad aim lol.

Orekoto Orekoto would definitely have the most aggressive playstyle of the three. I think the obvious choice for him would be the Splatana Wiper. although I think he'd prefer the aesthetic of the Splatana Stamper more, the Wiper is better for a faster and more aggressive playstyle. also he would LOVE Ultra Stamp.

Midokoto Midokoto is probably a player that prefers longer range weapons and would gravitate towards backline positions. so I think he'd play the Custom Jet Squelcher. I can also see him playing weapons like the (Forge/)Splattershot Pro, H-3 Nozzlenose(/D), and Squeezer.

Kotoko

Kotoko has such big charger energy. you cannot tell me she wouldn't play chargers. she's a very observant player who stays composed under pressure. she has a lot of game knowledge and can easily predict most players' movements. she probably takes the game a little too seriously.

I think the E-liter 4K would be her weapon of choice. her E-liter vibes are simply too strong. that being said, I think she'd also like playing squiffer once it gets a more aggressive kit. she's that terrifying charger on the enemy team that makes you want to scream every time they splat you and who you end up targeting the entire match just to try to splat them as revenge. she has made dozens of players rage quit and shows no signs of stopping.

🦑 thank you for coming to my Squidx Talk 🐙

^ if that doesn't format correctly on mobile im so sorry