#at least I'm p sure this was at least partially astral

[kyetalksshit]

hi I'm trying to log my dreams a bit when I remember so here's my dream from last night:

(please keep in mind that all of this was written with speech to text so if there are mistakes, or if it reads a little weird and like a long run on sentence, please ignore that)

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OK, so my dream last night, I keep remembering flashes of when I was walking around this antique store. I was there before it closed, and I remember it was very cluttered, like there was a whole Lotta stuff in there, and so much to see and it was to the point where you could easily get lost in there. And then at one point the Shopkeep was like OK we're closing up. The light started turning off and I didn't want to leave, so I hid. And at least at first I successfully stayed in there past close. And I don't remember if he was with me before then, or not, but Loki was there with me. I remember him pulling out like shelves and something like oh my God look at all of this stuff and like I would walk past a room, thinking it was empty and he would just like wordlessly go in and open up a bunch of cabinets and I'd be like oh shit and I'd go back in there with him and see that there were like shelves and shelves full of like porcelain dolls and old antique salt and pepper shakers and like doll houses and things like that. Like there would be so much to look at, and I had no idea until he was like I'm just gonna open all of this stuff now. And the Shopkeep, even though the store was closed, kept coming around and we kept having to hide and I think it one point he saw us or at least knew that we were in there? So we started trying to run and make sure that we stayed hidden and whatever and not only was this an antique store but some of it seem like it morphed outside, and they were like shrines to gods and tombs that definitely had people in them. When I say tomb though I don't mean like you know Jesus's fucking tomb from the Bible, but like a mausoleum I guess is more what I'm talking about. Like it would be huge for like a family name on it or whatever and it felt very sacred like I did not want to walk in or around any of those. And at one point I'm like climbing between like a mausoleum and a couple different shrines and one of them got activated like I don't member if there was a person there who lit the candle or what happened but I think there was somebody else there trying to honor a God or summoning a God or something and I just remember like feeling the energy shift like oh whoever they were trying to contact is here now. And so I literally out loud to myself because I turned around and I almost went to go see cause I was curious and I was like well I do witchy stuff and I can meet with deities I should maybe just like peek my head in and see who it is and maybe say hi, maybe it's someone I know lol. And I turned around and started walking that way, and I just felt this pit in my gut and Loki wasn't beside me anymore, which also made me uneasy, and I turned back around and got back up on the ledge I was just about to jump down from before I turned back to be like oh, maybe I should, and out loud right before I jumped down from the ledge on the opposite side, I said, nope! Out loud. And kept going.

I had actually forgotten a good bit of my dream until I remembered me saying nope, and jumping down and like leaving that activated shrine, but that is what triggered the memory for me.

There was also something about like I want to say it had something to do with a church service or something and a red cloak keeps sticking out to me now. It's kind of fuzzy at this point, but I do remember looking at a wall and seeing pictures of Loki all over it and again I saw it and I was like oh my God, Loki!! And I went straight to it and then I felt like he was there with me, but I didn't see him as like clearly and solidly as I had when we were in the antique store. In the antique store, it was like he was literally physically beside me and that was really fucking cool. But yeah, it was like once I was out of the antique store and I was in that like semi outdoor church service or whatever that was? I had to pretend either to worship with them, or to hide from them like those are my two options. And I'm just realizing I think that was supposed to be like a Christian metaphor or something but yeah and I don't remember what the red cloak was but I do remember like at one point some of them started to realize that I wasn't actually one of them like a cult kind of and I like turned around and started running and hiding and whatever and I feel like I jumped in a river or a lake or something at one point to hide from them I don't know very odd.

But yeah, all I remember really is that Loki was there with me the entire time either in spirit or in body but yeah, it was very intense and it was very scary, even though it doesn't sound like it should be in retrospect.

[thetwistedrope]

So, I'm not sure if I want advice on this, or just someone to talk to, but. I have a girlfriend, and I love her dearly. I'm also becoming increasingly certain that I'm married in the astral to a guy who's basically grown up with me. I have gaps in my memory there which is why I'm only increasingly certain. Trouble is, my gf is not okay with sharing me, and I only realized after we started dating. I'm p sure this qualifies as cheating? And I don't know what to do. Thanks for reading.

So my answer to this is kinda complicated…

The first thing I would want to cover in order for my response to make any sense is that from my experience, we’re not always directly related to our astral selves. That is to say that you can technically fall into a few different categories when you “port” into a non-physical realm. 

The first is when you more or less are 100% yourself in your own form while over there. In this case, it’s almost like creating a form to mentally reside in while you’re traveling, and then when you break away from your astral self or the plane in general, your form disappears and all of your “self” is thrown back into your physical body.

The second is when you’ve got a full-fledged stand alone portion of yourself, of your soul line/tree that exists in a different realm. And when you astral travel, you’re more or less experiencing things through them. I’ve found that this can take two different flavors. The first is when you’re just watching through their eyes. Experiencing what they experience, but you’re not directly in control of anything. The second is when you’re almost in a multiple situation, and you can take over the body for periods of time, but when you break your connection with the astral, the control goes back to whomever owns that form over there.

I think a lot of us get into the pitfall of thinking that any time we go to the astral, it’s 100% us and that our physical selves are the only versions of us running around, but I’ve not found that to be completely accurate. Based off of what I’ve seen, I’ve found that most of us have multiple portions/versions/iterations of ourselves running around in different planes. And sometimes you can see what is going on with these parts of our self, and sometimes you can’t.

To put it another way, you may think there is only one you in existence, but it’s possible that you’ve got 5 yous living in different realms or places. And maybe you’re number 4 and this person is number 3, and numbers 1, 2 and 5 are running around elsewhere. What you’d probably like to do is take all of yourself (number 4) and create a form to work with when you astral travel, but currently you’re just porting into number 3′s form for whatever reason.

So that being said… this portion of your soul line that you’ve been tapping into seems to have an entire life that they’ve lived before the physical you made any contact with them. In many ways, I’d say that you two sound like you’re related, and could arguably be considered the “same” entity, but technically you’re not. From my perspective, most situations that are like this, you’re more like twins, or one person stretched across two forms. To me, it’d be like your twin brother who has lived their entire life somewhere and got a wife or spouse and then one day you wake up and can experience parts of their life while also living yours. To me, its unfair to ask your twin brother, who has been living their life with or without you experiencing it directly, to drop connection with their spouse because your partner doesn’t like that your twin has a spouse.

Ofc, this gets blurry a little bit because it also will depend upon what you’re doing while you’re astral traveling. Are you doing anything with the spouse? Are you doing things that cross the line of strictly platonic? If so, then you’re getting into areas that are more grey and you’ll have to sorta sort out what is considered okay or isn’t. And in that case, for me, it would be a matter of disconnecting from the astral if I walked in when the other part of me was getting it on with their spouse, so that way there is a clear divide btwn what you do around said spouse and what this other part of yourself does around said spouse.

Whenever I find parts of myself that have their own thing going, I make a point to be passive and to just watch. I don’t get involved with their life, I don’t make decisions for them, I don’t mess with anything that isn’t my place to mess with. This is because I believe that while we are connected, they have their own autonomy. And in the same way I wouldn’t want someone else porting into my body and messing up my own life, I don’t want to do that to anyone else. So in this case, I’d tell you to probably take this sort of line of action until you can figure out how to create your own form that isn’t tied to someone else who has their whole life set up for them, etc.

That being said, it probably goes without saying that whether it counts as cheating or not depends largely upon what you’re doing when you show up over there. Whether you’re being a passive watcher or if you’re actively engaging this spouse. Ofc, the danger here is that likely the more you port into this other portion of yourself, the more likely you are to develop feelings. THis is partially why I try to maintain a clear divide when possible, because it helps to keep things more organized and simple. But each of us is different and has different needs/circumstances, and so what will work best for your situation is possibly going to be different than mine. But I still don’t think it’s fair to ask another portion of yourself to give up a large part of their life because you tapped into them, if you get what I Mean.

I have no clue if this helps answer anything or if I’ve only made it more complicated, but this is at least the basics of where I’d start when moving forward with this.