#at first i thought 'do i really wanna upload this edit? bc this is SO niche' but what the heck. here you are anyways :P)

[inkblackorchid]

es war gut dich zu sehen 🤗 quick question tho, have you considered splitting Embers into two parts - roughly 150k words each - if it's possible plot-wise, or the story only works as a cohesive one-piece? not concered about the lenght, more of a general-type musing

Ach, danke dir!

And well. Yes and no. I have actually considered splitting Embers, just not in two parts, but in three. Structure-wise, if I were to split it at all, that would work best due to the way the plot works. The thing that's stopping me though is that I'm terrified I'll put something in an earlier chapter that ends up no longer working with the later ones and will find out three fourths into the fic that I would need to set up something in the first third to make a scene work. Embers' outline has really been a beast of its own so I unfortunately can't guarantee this wouldn't happen, even though the temptation to actually split the thing and give it to y'all in three acts is growing by the day. I miss uploading. But yeah, I'm unfortunately very concerned doing this might bite me in the ass (and similarly concerned that not doing it might also bite me in the ass, which is just fantastic). There's also the slight concern that having to split my attention between editing the previous chapters and writing the future ones might also hurt the process. So uh... I have considered it. Those considerations just give me mild anxiety.

Since I'm answering this question I may as well put out a bit of a call for Opinions TM by people on here as for what to do about this conundrum here. Don't wanna make this a poll yet bc that feels too final. Maybe I will eventually. But yeah, thoughts would be appreciated so I could get a feel for whether this would be a good idea.

[ichorblossoms]

i only remember the day i made grimm and yarrow bc it was 4/20 and i thought it was funny anyways happy one year to these two fuckers eating away at my brain and here's to them continuing to do that for...the foreseeable future

since i have created So much about them in this year, i wanna recap what the fuck i've done bc i have never had this happen before. it's definitely new to hyperfixate on some ocs so intensely but i'm having a good time with everything so! i can't say i'm upset that these two kicked my ass into gear with drawing so much !!

starting off with the first sketches of them i scribbled down before i had to get back to work on other stuff bc i don't think i posted these

they've evolved a bit but....not by much really. esp in regards to yarrow i had what is more or less his current design nailed down within a day. not to mention that these two both had names within 24 hours? that usually does NOT happen for me

in terms of all the other art, th galleries aren't the absolute best metric to measure how much i've drawn my ocs bc it doesn't account for all the sketches and wips i have lying around and i upload gift art so it's not all mine in there NONETHELESS it's wild comparing their th gallery stats to the main trio of ttw bc those three literally have a decade of existence on them

(also grimm has five more standalone pieces of fanart than yarrow, so the gap between how much i've drawn the two of them is even smaller)

within a year, these two have, give or take, half the amount of stuff as i've managed to make for my other mains that have been around over a decade. ofc with ttw being around so long there are a lot of unfinished things, paper drawings i have stashed away, things that're retconned, and so many more sketchbook doodles of them that just never got posted so it's not as comparable to honeybee bc it's a more constant slowburn in my brain. but still. still

that's also not to mention the 16 or so full comic pages i've drawn for them?? (most of those are under toyhouse's literature bc it's easier to post them that way) which doesn't sound like a lot, but bc i've never done that before with any of my ocs it's. wild to me. i'm still figuring out a method that makes making comics as painless as possible bc i have ideas! but it still feels like i'm like pulling teeth sometimes! i can say it feels a bit easier to make comics now but i still have a lot to figure out :,,D

also i've been writing. i don't consider myself a writer. i said "fuck it we ball" and started writing. i guess i am on technicality, and it's not as if i haven't written anything at all (hi ttw and the old peartree draft), but definitely haven't written extensive prose before this. anyways i've got a 10k-word outline and am approximately 35k words into the first draft so it's not nothing! in fact that's a lot for me, esp bc i'm constantly battling the urge to edit things over and over and also the awareness of the skill gap between me and all of the writers i am constantly reading so it's overall just a...really slow process OTL

because i'm deranged and refuse to make things easy on myself, i envision honeybee as an illustrated novel, but not necessarily illustrated like fantasy novels are i'm talking like....a novel with comic panels in it. i have a vision. (also i had a dream where i read a book like this i can See it in my mind). it's fine. i'm normal. <if this comes to be for realsies i will have to learn how to do so much typesetting bullshit

i don't have any special art to commemorate my Year of Brainrot, but i guess i'll post some writing below the cut. heads up this is First Draft Shit, even though these are the parts i'm currently more fond of i am...not confident in my skills as a writer yet so please offer me some lenience hgfklhgld

anything in [these brackets] is going to be drawn either as a standalone illustration or a small series of comic panels so just hold my hand and imagine with me.

ordered chronologically but missing a Lot of context partially bc i'm not writing any of this in order. i try to keep grimm (they/it) and yarrow's (he/they) pronouns consistent, but excuse any flips bc again, this hasn't been through any external editing, in fact y'all are the first to see any of these words.

part 1 (years 0 to ~1)- least written-for part atm but i re-outlined it semi-recently so i know where to take it

*grimm is misgendered here intentionally, yarrow doesn't know The Pronouns yet

part 2 (years ~6 to ~8)- currently the most-written

part 3 (years ~9 to ~10)

does a little dance and makes jazz hands before faceplanting. thank you if you read any of that hkgdslfhlfk

[crowleys-right-eyeball]

okay HELLOOOOO SBZ FANS I FINISHED THE GAME!! below the cut they go, pretty long and just rambles lol

- alan is SOOO FUCKING CUTEEEE BUT ESPECIALLY IN THE END HELLO???????

- I LOVE HOW HE STANDS HE’S JUST SO EXPRESSIVE WITH EVERYTHING

- anyway so i took a shit ton of screenshots but the game deleted my save files before i could export them so i’ll have to either replay the ending or go on youtube but i don’t wanna do either of those now. but that sorta ruined my mood with the ending so thank u unknown worlds for designing ur game like that 🙏🙏

- so anyway. you know how they’re making subnautica 3 right. did you notice in the ending that there’s a fucking???? architect city?????? LITERALLY THERE COULD BE A CITY FULL OF ALANS IN SUBNAUTICA 3

- as for the game itself. it was ight!! it was like ten ish hours shorter than subnautica but maybe that was just me being insanely impatient and googling all the coords out of frustration lmfao

- i give it a 7.5/10!! a ton of the credit goes to the stupid kickable brit and the absolute gilf but everything else was pretty okay!! characters aside, it really wasn’t as scary or as like. immersive as subnautica imo? someone pointed this out on the subreddit and i totally agree but having the seatruck being the only vehicle you need made the deeper parts feel way safer, which sorta just made all the scary parts jumpscares rather than actual terror which i did not love

- now i don’t know if i’m like a total idiot or not with this point but this game felt very. unguided. like once you find alan it’s just a free for all and you have to either wait for him to tell you hey here’s a thing that doesn’t help you at all OR you just wander around aimlessly until you stumble upon something. to be honest though, i started subnautica maybe three ish years ago and i genuinely have no memory of it. i have no idea if i watched a playthrough and knew everything first or went in blind so maybe that’s how the first game is too and i’m just an idiot lmfao, but i googled the coords for everything like i said, and speaking of which tonight’s playthrough should have been way shorter except that i literally could not find the fabricator base or the gate so *shrug*

- this is a minor note that i thought was goofy but my dumb ass did not find outpost zero until i was looking for the gate and i fucking. entered the base and alan started talking to me even though he was already out of my body LMFAO (either the devs did not find this plothole or they did and didn’t think anyone was dumb enough to find it)

- umm what else. i could go on and on about alan and marguerit but i will not bc that’s a post on its own

- hot take: should have been deeper

- thank u unknown worlds for putting my funny youtuber songs into the game love you sm

- the music fucks so hard

- OH i wish the biomes were more significant because a ton of them are SO COOL but i literally only entered them like once for one thing so i do wish there was more diversity with where the story progressed (however i also like how they kept the same subnautica style with how it progresses, as in there’s more the deeper it gets, i just wish the biomes were more diverse with that i guess)

- EDITING THIS BC I FORGOT TO WRITE THIS DOWN!! i LOVEE alan’s character progression throughout the game!! at the start, he’s mostly just confused with robin’s discomfort and he doesn’t really wanna get involved with anything other than his body, but as the game goes on he asks robin questions about humans and he learns stuff like sarcasm and hope and he states his feelings more clearly and i just ;;;;;; melts and sobs and collapses he’s so fucking cute i’m crying

- IDK WHAT ELSE TO SAY AND I’LL PROBABLY EDIT THIS LATER BUT YEAH!! MY INCREDIBLE TAKES!!

- next i post about this game will either be if i feel like grabbing and uploading my screenshots OR if i draw a silly little alan and robin drawing heehee

[yearofthediamond-dogs]

I’m rereading The Kybalion for a second time now, and I was wondering what you thought of the book?

Hey stranger! I'm very new to hermeticism itself but have always believed in basically anything paranormal, given the amount of evidence literally everywhere and bc it feels right in my heart/mind to just Know, especially souls & higher dimensional entities etc. So I had enough pre-installed beliefs and curiosity about culture/religion to see it all come together in that little book- imo it's the most correct outline of everything that exists. Truths are scattered around the world but I've always thought everyone is worshipping or experiencing the same things. So with that in mind, god & vibrations & matter & thought just makes perfect sense to me. I really got a comprehensive sense of faith/knowing for the first time in my life reading it bc finally something made Sense, y'know?

I've read the actual corpus hermetica & there's a bit more anthropomorphisation of god but I'm happy to chalk that up to ancient people doing their ancient things. It goes into a lot more detail with astrology, fate & angels too. With a note that fate is never really sealed. The texts have been heavily edited as we know so I'll piece concepts together & read between the lines as I keep learning. I'm super excited to finish my base research & look into the meditations already.

The idea that a lot of mental abilities & a full on utopian society were lost thanks to the fucking catholics makes me very upset, but since adopting 'its all part of the process and we'll get there (absorption into the Big Brain) eventually' it gives me hope for the planet tbh. Even if another society has to start again after we nuke ourselves or dissolve into ecological collapse, everything will be ok. It's the natural order of things. We might be a bit off course with science accepting the holographic universe theory leading ppl to think we're a digital simulation (also lmfao I finally agree with insane evangelists about the mark of the beast concept- let's not upload & digitise our conciousness thanks! that's important stuff! don't wanna get trapped down here!) (again another lmfao that the love vibration hippies were right all along too) (I think its so cute that everyone has part of the idea, like it's innate to us)

The only part that hasn't clicked is the gender metaphors. I've spent all my time listening to paranormal researchers and not enough reading Jung lol. I trust my boy to lay it out for me & use whatever understanding I get.

Other than the big picture stuff the book was given to me after someone thought it could help shift some thoughts around and maybe exist a near decade of crippling suicidal & slightly psychotic depression lol. Same with dissociation. I have extremely ingrained narratives about myself and after getting slapped with the law of attraction (that I already knew about ofc but seeing it in the same book that literally describes the universe makes it hit diff) has given me more hope than....anything I've ever come across. And then it went on about mental alchemy & again, it actually seemed doable. So the kybalion made me feel faith AND hope + all the other fun paranormal excitement in one go, which was extremely strange for me. Felt like new emotions being unlocked. And I'm very grateful science had reached a point where the author could make modern comparisons, a trend that's only ever gonna go up.

I think that hermeticism 100% legit and I'm going to be using its many versions of ceremony, meditation, practice etc to work on myself and actually atune to the world around me. As someone with pretty strong dissociation as a defence mechanism I rlly feel like accepting reality for what it is will be helpful for long term peace. Connecting to the world is difficult, if you've dissociated before & can picture it happening Most of the time you'll know what I mean. I can see myself practicing, feeling closer to Everything, and appreciating the incredible beauty of life in every aspect. Polarity helps with that.

This is very personal and long winded, but I want to get across how hopeful magic makes me. The micro/macro worldview is just extremely comforting in a way, knowing SO very much is out there and we're bacterial in comparison- but just as important to the structure of reality itself. This is the least existential I've ever been and it came from being told we're mental projections- maybe it just feels nice to know I'm an important part of something. I wish there was a way to beam the hermetic worldview into the mind of every lost person tbh.

That's the biggest impact the kybalion made for me! I'm a newb! So all I've got is this :) v curious to hear your thoughts too.

[fearfulkittenwrites]

“Just a normal night”

Inspired by @s-mscott​ - link for the art, please check it out!

Word count: 2832

Notes: HEY. THIS IS JUST BEEN SITTING ON MY FILES FOR THE LONGEST TIME AND I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT IT DKJFHAKJHAKJDFH. Anyway, it's a long time coming. The writing probs isn't as neat or as good as the latest uploads bc of that, but... idk. Hopefully it's good! I couldn't bring myself to edit it again, sorry about that. I hope you can enjoy it anyways and please go check out the artist, @s-mscott​!

“Guys?” Dick asked, on his tiptoes as he rummaged through every cabinet in the huge kitchen “Hey are we out of cereal? I can’t find my Lucky Charms anywhere.”

“I think so.” Jason answered “I ate the last of the Lucky Charms last night.”

“Yep.” Tim said, popping the ‘p’ as he slid through the countertop, landing a bit behind Dick “I had the last of the frosted flakes two days ago.”

“Froot Loops?” Dick asked.

“I had those.” Duke answered “Sorry.”

“Fruity Pebbles?”

 Cass raised her hand, looking at the ground.

“Reese’s Puffs?”

“I finished the box yesterday.” Damian announced, crossing his arms as he leaned against the marble sink.

“Damn.” Dick murmured and pouted as he closed the cabinet’s door “I’ve been craving cereal today.”

“We can always go get some.” Jason shrugged.

“At three in the morning?” Duke asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Actually, four.” Jason corrected, putting up a finger “And yeah, why not? I mean, we had a hard patrol tonight, and if Dick wants some cereal, I say let’s go get some cereal.”

“It’s four in the morning, Todd.” Damian said.

“I mean, the closest Walmart is open 24/7.” Tim interfered.

“You can’t be seriously considering this, Grayson.” Damian frowned at his older brother.

“Why not? I’m not sleepy anyways.” Dick crossed his arms and shrugged.

“Yes!” Jason hissed “Late night adventures with the baby bats. Let’s roll!” He clapped his hands once, and started to walk out of the kitchen, his siblings following him to the garage.

“Oh wait!” Dick said “Let’s ring up Bruce and see if there’s anything else we need.”

“Bold of you to assume he’d know what we need.” Tim interfered.

“Yeah, well, it’s worth a shot. Plus, do any of us really want to wake up Alfred to ask him?” Dick said, taking his communicator out of his pocket and placing it in his ear “B? Have a sec?” He asked

“Nightwing. What’s wrong?” Came the answer, Batman’s raspy voice flowing through the device.

“Oh, nothing’s wrong. We’re going to take a quick trip to the supermarket, I wanted to ask if you need anything.”

“... At four in the morning?”

“Yeah. Do you need anything?”

Bruce sighed.

“We’re running out of the coffee blend that Tim likes. Alfred the cat’s favorite treats have been gone since last week, and Cass’ favorite ice cream is done. Oh, buy Duke that soda he likes, I drank the last can. Also, Jason’s cookies and that brand of chips you like, we ran out of those. Oh, and buy something with Iron in it, I’m worried that Damian might not be getting enough.”

“Like spinach?” Dick said, writing it down on his phone’s notes.

“Yeah, that’ll do. Ah, and we’re a little low on milk.”

“Okay. Will keep that in mind. Thanks B, have a nice patrol.”

“Please don’t give the papers any headlines.”

“You got it, B. Bye.”

He placed the device back on his pocket.

“Okay, there’s a lot of stuff to buy, so let’s get going. I’ll drive.”

“Shotgun!” Jason yelled.

“We’re taking the S.U.V., one of you will need to ride in the trunk.” Dick said.

“I’ll go.” Cass’ eyes twinkled. No one could understand why she was always so fascinated with the idea of riding in the trunk, but she seemed to find it fun and all of them thought that her excitement was cute.

“Alright then.” Dick smiled, ruffling her hair. Her grin grew wider, and Duke set her hair straight again before they got into the car.

“Hey, can I play my music?” Tim asked from the backseat.

“Don’t force us to listen to the atrocity Drake calls music, Grayson.” Damian complained, arms crossed “Let me play something.”

“Uh, I’d rather not listen to Mozart and Bach while we’re in the car.” Duke protested.

“It’s called classic for a reason, Thomas.”

“Doesn’t matter, bat-brat.” Jason said “I’m with him on this one. Besides, universal car rules, shotgun DJ’s.”

“Since when?” Tim asked.

“Since now.” Jason said, plugging his phone in.

“Uh, I don’t think so.” Dick took the cord from him “According to ‘Supernatural’ rules, ‘Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole’. So that’s mine.”

“No one else watches this show Dickhead!” Jason pulled the cord back.

“Doesn’t matter, because I’m older!” Dick pulled it back again.

“Age is just a number!” Tim pushed himself to the front seat and took the cord back.

“Great point Drake!” Damian pulled him back by his waist, stealing the cord from him too.

“Hey, stop with the fuss, I’m gonna crash the car!” Dick said.

“Maybe we should just play Beyoncé...” Duke suggested. The car went silent for a while.

“Okay.” Dick said “Put on ‘Single Ladies’.”

“No. ‘Halo’ is her best.” Damian complained.

“Uhm, no way? I’m playing ‘Drunk in Love’, and that’s it.” Tim shot back.

“Are you crazy? Play ‘Formation’.” Duke interfered.

“I like ‘Run the World’...” Cass said quietly from the trunk.

“Yeah, okay,” Tim murmured “We’ll play that.”

The girl smiled as the first notes from the song filled the car.

There weren’t many cars in the parking lot, which was expected. They picked up two carts, and Dick hopped inside the one Jason was pushing.

“Dude!” Duke started “You’re in your mid-twenties!”

“Leave me alone, I nearly sprained my ankle today.” Dick stuck his tongue out. No one else questioned anything beyond that. The employees simply sighed, used to the two older brothers and their antics.

“Hey Parker.” Jason greeted the nighttime security guard.

“Hey. I see you two brought the whole gang tonight.” He answered.

“Yup.” Dick smiled.

“So this is a regular thing for the two of you?” Duke asked.

“Are you really surprised, Duke?” Tim shot back.

“No. Not really.”

“Okay. First stop, Bruce said we need to get Tim’s coffee.” Dick exclaimed, looking at the list.

Jason led the way, Dick grinning like a child on the cart, Cass quietly following as she pushed their second cart, Duke making friendly conversation with her while Tim and Damian kept bickering right behind them.

“Oh, wait!” Dick held on to the metal bars “We’re right next to the cookies and Bruce said we’re out of your favorites, Jay.” He looked up.

“Alright, a little detour then.” Jason turned them around, quickly grabbing his treats “Anyone wants anything else from this aisle?”

“But... We don’t need anything else from the aisle.” Duke pointed out.

“Um, we have a billionaire’s credit card?” Tim said “Bruce won’t freak out if we buy a few extra things.”

“Uuuh, they have those koala shaped cookies!” Dick hopped out of the cart “How many do I get?”

“I want one.” Cass said.

“Chocolate or strawberries?”

“Uh… I want both.” She answered.

“Okay, one each for the lady, two strawberries for me...”

“I want a chocolate one.” Tim said.

“Me too.” Damian asked.

“Oh, just take twenty boxes, ten of each flavor.” Jason interfered, dumping them on Cass’ cart “We’ll share later.”

“Oh my God, those are expensive!” Duke said, exasperated.

“Yeah. So?” Jason shot back.

“Bruce is a billionaire, bro. He won’t mind.” Dick said, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“Yeah, well, it’s easy for you guys to say it. You grew up like that. It’s kinda hard to accept this when you aren’t used to having so much.” Duke answered, scratching his neck.

“Hey, I get that feeling lil’ bro.” Jason tapped his back “I spent my childhood in Gotham’s streets.”

“Yeah. I mean, I grew up in the circus. I wasn’t used to the idea of getting brand new stuff instead of asking for hand-me-downs from our friends whenever I grew out of my clothes.” Dick interfered.

“But... Just think about it like this.” Jason got closer to him “We now can get everything we couldn’t in the past.”

Duke frowned. Jason nodded encouragingly.

“That... Doesn’t help.”

“I tried.” Jason shrugged. Dick hopped back in the cart “To the coffee aisle!” He exclaimed, pushing his brother around.

“Hang on.” Tim said “This is where they leave the energy drinks. Let me take some.”

“Why do you insist on drinking this crap, Drake?” Damian scowled, reading the label in one of the cans “If you have such a death wish, jumping in front of a train is a much cheaper, quicker alternative.”

“Shut up, little devil.” Tim picked up cans from his favorite brand.

“Jason, push me a little farther down the aisle, please.” Dick asked “They keep their iced teas over there.”

“Ugh, Grayson, you disgust me.” Damian rolled his eyes.

“Don’t be so judgemental Lil’ D.” He smiled, being pushed away by Jason.

As they examined the cans, Dick noticed he had attracted the looks of a middle aged man, a couple of steps from them. He was staring at his hoodie, that contained the frase ‘I love dick’ printed on it.

“Oh,” He exclaimed, smiling at the guy “My name is Richard. That’s why it’s funny.” The man nodded “I’m also queer as fuck, so that makes it better.” He added nonchalantly, and the man’s eyes widened “Okay Jay, I picked up all I wanted, let’s go back.”

“Alright you little shits, back to the coffee quest.” Jason said, leading the way once again. This time, they finally made it to the coffee aisle. Tim crouched down, looking for his favorite blend.

Cass got a little curious once she laid eyes on a colorful package on the top shelf. She picked it up and handed it to Dick.

“Read. Please.”

“This is an espresso roast. Here it says that it has notes of strawberry? Vanilla and... Sugar cane. Colombian coffee. Seems nice. Wanna take it?”

“Yes.” She nodded. Dick dropped it on his cart.

Cass wandered away, still looking at all of the coffee blends.

“Hey girlie,” A guy whistled at her, next to his group of friends “Nice ass.”

She squinted at them.

“Yo, asshole!” Tim screamed, getting their attention “That’s our sister!” He threw a bag of coffee beans at the guy’s face, causing his nose to bleed.

“Hey, who do you think you are?” One of them started to walk up to her brothers. Cass could tell that he wanted trouble, so she grabbed his arm and slammed his face against the shelf, so quickly and brutally that it barely budged, leaving the products unbothered, but the guy fell to the floor, disoriented. She stared at him.

“We are Waynes.” Damian answered, pacing towards them quietly, hands on his pockets “I suggest you apologize immediately for the troubles, if you wouldn’t want to get a hefty lawsuit for your harrasment.”

“Uh, sorry bro.” One of them started, a little scared “We didn’t-”

“Not to me.” He interrupted “To her.”

“We’re sorry, miss Wayne.” All of them mumbled.

“Now promise you won’t do it again.” Damian added.

“We won’t do it again.” They started at the floor, next to where their fallen friend laid down.

“Good.” He squinted “Help your friend up, and get out of my sight.”

They did as they were told, helping his friend walk straight again. As Cass headed back, Dick gently touched her arm, looking up at her.

“Hey, are you alright?” She smiled and gave him a thumbs up. He smiled back.

“Does this happen often?” Jason asked.

“Sometimes.” She shrugged “But they always say sorry after I break their nose.”

“Ayy, that’s our girl.” Jason praised “Alright, we got the coffee. Where to next?”

“Let’s see... Next item is Alfred the cat’s treats.” Dick said.

“Ha!” Damian laughed loudly “As if Alfred would eat the... peasant treats that this store offers. No. I’ve already bought the adequate brand from an online shop.”

“Okay...” Dick raised an eyebrow “Then... Cass’ ice cream is next, but I think we should leave that as the last item, so it won’t melt, which leads us to Duke’s soda because Bruce had the last can.”

“Let’s go then. I think that the cereal aisle is on the way, so we’ll get that first.” Jason said, pushing the cart around again.

“Which ones do we get?” Tim asked, looking through the shelf.

“Everything that has sugar.” Dick answered. His brother began handing him boxes, when they heard a small whisper.

“Oh my God, are those...?” A girl said to her friend, attracting the eyes of the siblings. The duo averted their gaze quickly. Cass frowned at them.

“Relax.” Jason smiled, placing an arm on her back “They’re probably just... Fans.”

“Fans?” She asked, still staring suspiciously at them.

“Yeah.” Dick shrugged “I mean, we’re not super stars, but we do hit the papers pretty often. A bunch of people know us here in Gotham.” The girls were looking again, and Dick gave them a small wave, making them giggle “See? Nothing to worry about.”

“Hum.”

“Hey there, ladies.” Jason greeted, a cheeky smile on his face “What brings you to this fine establishment tonight?”

“We ran out of energy drinks.” One of them answered “What about you?”

“Cereal.” Dick answered, lifting two boxes. They giggled again.

“Hey, um... can we maybe get a picture?” The girl asked “It’s just that... no one will believe us when we tell them about this.”

“Absolutely not!” Damian answered.

“Nah, don’t listen to the little brat.” Jason said “Go ahead.”

Dick held up the boxes again, smiling as Jason made a ‘crazy’ motion with his hands. Tim turned around as the photo was being taken, turning him into a blurr with tired eyes.

“Can we get some selfies too?” The other one asked, grinning.

“No!” Damian protested again.

“Of course you can!” Dick said “Duke, Cass, come here.” He called.

All of them gathered around the cart Dick was staying at, even Damian. He didn’t look so pleased as the photo was taken, but neither did Cass.

“Thanks. You guys really are nice.” The first girl said.

“Oh, you have no clue on how nice I can be.” Jason winked, making her blush “Tell you what, why don’t I give you my phone number and you can text me those pictures later, hm?”

“Sure.” The girl bit her lips as Jason scribbled his number on her wrist.

“You are such a flirt.” Dick rolled his eyes as the girls walked away.

“What, like you aren’t?” Jason snorted, pushing him away, looking for where they kept the soda.

“I think Cass didn’t like that interaction very much.” Tim whispered to his older brothers, who turned around to find a frowning baby bat. Jason chuckled.

“What’s wrong, sis?” She scowled at him “Oh, c’mon, don’t get jealous.” He threw an arm around her shoulder “You know you’ll always be our number one girl, but a guy has his needs. And sometimes, a guy needs a date.”

Cass pushed him away, rolling her eyes as Duke placed five soda cans on her cart.

“Why would you even drink this sugar filled monstrosity, Thomas?” Damian asked, reading the labels “Grandfather wouldn’t even feed his prisoners something as revolting as this.”

“Because, Bat-brat,” He said “We’re all entitled to enjoy at least one or two things that may ultimately be responsible for our deaths.”

“I suppose.” He murmured, lifting an eyebrow “You make much finer points than the rest of them. Father has been looking for heirs in the least suitable places, I assume.” He clicked his tongue “It’s a good thing I’m here to help.”

“Okay...” Duke answered, raising his eyebrows and averting his gaze. There was only so much strangeness that he could handle.

“Great, now we need to get my chips and spinach.” Dick stated.

“Spinach?” Tim asked “Why spinach?”

“B thinks Damian may have been needing more iron in his diet.” Dick shrugged.

“Aaw.” Tim said “That’s actually kinda cute. Do you think he ever worries about our diets?”

“Don’t be stupid Tim, of course he doesn’t.” Jason answered.

“He does.” Dick shot back “He worries about us, he just... Really, really, really, reaaaally sucks at showing it sometimes.”

“Potatoe, potatoe.” Jason murmured.

“Yeah, whatever. Keep me moving Little Wing, we have stuff to pick up and my tiredness is catching up to me.” Dick pointed forward.

“Sure. But the chips are in the opposite direction.”

“Well turn me around then, do you want me to look like an idiot?” Dick said, a little exasperated.

“I wish you had an off button sometimes.” Jason sighed as he made his way to the chips section.

An employee, mopping the floor with a bored expression, looked up from what he was doing when he saw the Wayne gang talking loudly. Dick tried to control his brothers from inside the cart, and had just told Jason to separate a fight between Tim and Damian. Duke and Cass snicker as they saw a bored, six feet tall Jason pushing his much smaller brothers apart.

“Yep.” The employee murmured to himself “Billionaires shopping at Walmart at four in the morning. Just a normal night.”

Hey! If you made it this far, please consider reblogging this? It helps with spreading my fics and it makes me very happy, hahahaha!

Regardless, thanks for reading <3

[hawopro]

2020 CREATOR WRAP: FAVOURITE WORKS  

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome work

Thank you @storge for tagging me!

2020 is a series of firsts in fandom for me, and I leveled up as a baby-gifmaker/ barely-a-writer, so it’s actually nice looking back (if I don’t think about irl hahaha)

Qiao Chen & Zhuo Zhi BrOTP (gif) -- first time doing a set with a coloring attempt that doesn’t make me wanna die asdfjkl, and i ended up really liking it, and them, and proceeded to fall in love with Dong Li after

The 4c series aka Chinapuri CEO-AU Crack Comic (art) -- first time drawing a bunch of 4koma and actually uploading them?? also first collab work (with @/alternatefandom and @/kakushigo, who are the authors of that hilarious thing)

BanHoji FIOLOL (fic) -- first time breaking 25k wc, i have never written that much and that fast; i think it took me about two weeks to write that (my last record was 16k in five days LMAO don’t you just love having a hyperfixation) and i found deka fans along the way in a 15-yr-old fandom

Why TR16 is a Pingxie movie (meta) -- first time writing a meta without knowing i was writing a meta; id never thought i’ll be analyzing symbolism and allusions about a movie that most of the fandom considered to be a crack fic of the franchise hahaha

Fang Xu’s Fei (vid) -- first time attempting a kpop-style (?) vid edit bc i desperately need fang xu edit with han mubo’s music, and boy, it was 18-sec of blood sweat and tears, i have mad respect for all the kpop stan editors

Han Mubo (yes, he’s his own category--)

Meow (gif) -- first time conquering a fancam vid source, oh god, the source, if you’ve seen the og vid, you’ll be so proud of me (T-T)

Mask (gif) -- first time learning about hue/sat layer; had too much fun with it

LoA (gif) -- first time finding my ult bias, first time coloring finally click for me, and i got hooked on gif coloring rip

Tagging: @sandreeen @alternatefandom @annadream @zhuxinjie only if you guys want to! plus anyone who would like to :D

[lucifer-kane]

Finally my side of this whole KFAM debacle

I’ve never had to write something like this before, so here we go. I know that there have been other people who have said things on this topic, people who I’m very grateful towards in all of this, who have come forward in this… strange time. I feel like I finally can say something after freaking out for a few days and talking with others as well online who are on this side of it all. But I feel like I finally need to say something as…. Probably the person who really started it all, I guess? As the one who made the post saying “Me casting death of the author onto kfam” Because I was finally fed up with just everything I had learned over the last year + of talking about criticisms in the show and of the creators/writers. I spent months talking to others on at least two different servers about all of this, from learning it myself, to being here in this position of what’s currently going on.

A lot started a few months ago in the Official Server, when a graphic artist posted an edit of a character of the show in BDSM gear, which, automatically, is NSFW. Some had issues and said that it got taken down, then a few hours later uploaded it once more with a spoiler cover over it. Friday morning, it happened again, this time with a group shot, but he was still there. Now. I don’t think I would have issues with this if it was posted on a server with specific channels for 18+ members of it only. But it wasn’t, and this server is a SFW only, but apparently “canon compliant” NSFW is a-okay. Which, I think is utterly ridiculous, because minors are still in there, and that should not be allowed. If you’re going to allow that stuff, at least have designated channels where only 18+ members can opt in to see that sort of thing. You can’t have both.

Two people called this out, one directly sending an @ to the mods in said server, and it was a little bit before a response happened, then two other messages were taken down, the message with the @ left in it. Kyle had also retweeted the art on twitter, and while I don’t think that was such a bad thing, his response to at least adding a warning that it was NSFW, was pretty unprofessional. The person who asked Kyle to say as such, was bullied by both Kyle and Trent on twitter as well.

Now, onto my DotA post once more. After posting that I had a few hours of chillness, up until in the middle of a call with friends, I looked over to my discord list of servers I was in, and the Official was no longer there. I panicked, left the call, and cried for a long time about it, because despite my criticism, I loved being there! I told my friends on this server, where the criticism was most of the time, and there was a few hour period of questioning what the hell was going on. It was late at night, and everyone was confused. No one would give reasoning to what was going on. Until I was vagued to have been a problem for a long time.

Now, it may have been my bluntness when it comes to text, bc you know, autism! But I don't think I've ever done anything that would warrant people to be uncomfortable, other than criticize the show (and the server at times) on my personal tumblr (twitter on occasion). Which I can see as being upset about that, but I was way too damn scared to PM a mod to talk about what was going on, because at this point, it was very obvious they hated me. I didn’t like that they never came to talk, like a civilized person, about all this. I don't want to make people uncomfortable, that's the last goddamn thing I wanna do in this world.

Now, we’re here. A few days after everything went down, to what I feel like was a simple miscommunication, I would never wish death on someone at all, that’s disgusting behavior and I don’t like that Kyle even vagued that I did such a thing. I have never interacted with him at all, even when he would come and talk on the server. I actively tried to avoid interactions with the creators because I’m not a fan of creators being this close to their fanbase, where people have actively said it makes them uncomfortable.

I love this podcast a lot, for the first year I praised it like others did as well, but then, I read some things about Kyle, and then some of the things in the show. We all know those things, the Hellen Keller episode, how Lily is written, Jacob in his whole character, and the racism in Walt. But I started being critical on main, voicing my thoughts and concerns. Because criticism is an okay thing, it helps artists grow in the things they do. And I understand not liking criticism, I don’t like it sometimes, but sometimes it’s needed, to move your art forward. Kyle’s reaction to criticism is that of a man who doesn’t have thick skin and doesn’t wanna be proven wrong in the things he does.

As of now, because of all this, I’ve been blocked from the KFAM twitter, Kyle himself, and I think the tumblr as well (Or at least they’ve unfollowed me, I don’t care enough to check on there). And I’ve seen my friends get bullied by the creator of this show, and even members of the community. While at a lesser scale than Kyle, it’s still gross to see the fanbase act like this, especially acting like my friends and I are actively bullying them, when we just wanted one piece of art to be taken down from a space that, in all reality, has a lot of minors in it.

And finally, I just wanna talk about the server in general. I joined maybe six months after getting into the show, we were pretty far into the first hiatus at this point and I wanted more content, so, I finally beat my discord anxiety down and joined. And I had so much fun! I talked to people who I still think about, posted art, fics, did headcanons all the time. I talked in there quite a bit up until I got kicked. But the overall vibe of the discord after being there longer than a month, was not the greatest. And it took me longer than average to notice, shortly before posting public criticisms. This was when I started getting ignored more often than not, and not that everyone did that, I still had people talk to me, which was nice. But as time went on, this happened more and more, to more and more people.

People who saw my criticisms, and came to me, mostly anonymously, to say they felt the exact same way. And that’s… not a good thing. The whole “Only happy things, no negativity about the show!” attitude that is in there, is bad. You can’t criticize something you love, and if you do, you’re dogpiled onto until you shut up. This has happened to many people, not just me. There’s times where queer members of this community, will talk about themseles as some lgbt+/queer fans do. Saying things along the line of “___ is gay culture!” or “I think [x] is trans!!” and they’ll either get ignored (in the latter case) or just someone won't get the first one is a joke and get upset. Which, I can see if you’re new to a place where people say that, but don’t outright shut someone down like that, ask what it means. That goes for anything.

I enjoyed my time there, and I was super upset when I found myself kicked, distraught even. Then they started kicking more people without even a word which isn’t how you run a server, no one should get an instant ban without being talked to, and I think I would be less upset if I had been talked to, to at least tell my side. But no, I got this, and here we are. With multiple testimonies that aren’t my own, telling how horrible that server is towards some people who they don’t like, who speak out, who say “Hey maybe we should do [x].” And that’s… Not the safe environment they say they have, because I, among many others. Was also super uncomfortable when it came to some things in there.

As a queer member of this community, I, and others like me, felt ignored. Ignored in the criticism of their queer characters who were written by non-queer men, and then, as stated above. Upset at literally everything else that wasn’t good in their show. But now, we’re being painted as the villains in a way, being bullied by the creator, and others acting like nothing is going wrong. But that’s all I have to say, if prompted, I will talk more on any subject here.

I’m not angry, I never once was. At this point I find more saddened amusement in all of this, rather than anger. But. That is all, thank you for your time on this subject.

[aharris00britney]

ASKS 13

CC .zip file, resource page, uploading sims, and some other stuff idk

Anonymous said: Hi! I was just wondering if you knew that none of the images on your resources page are showing. Not on my end, at least. I've gone back to check a few times, to see if it was just my internet acting up or something, but every time it just loads blank white squares

Heya lmao it should be fixed somewhat now. A few months ago my download page/resource page/sim download page all broke and I had to reupload images. It killed me to fix my download page and I am just now getting around to doing my resource page. I am still working on it but I fixed links for Macie and Taylor

Anonymous said: Could you make any male hairstyles?

I am not the best at male hair, but maybe in the future I will do some stuff. For now the only male hairs I will make are conversions and stuff. I’m sorry!

Anonymous said: Any chance you’ll make some straight middle parted hair? Like 2002 Avril Lavigne?            

TBH I wish I would’ve made my Madison hair as just the Cats&Dogs hair retextured/UV mapped because that is something I want now, but I don’t have a way to get it to be the same as my Madison hair. We shall see!

Anonymous said: are your sims for download? They are so gorgeous!

They are! The images on the download page I made for them are broken but you can find their tag here

Anonymous said: I feel lile u should post more about urself + I miss ur monthly playlists

okay I thought this was so sweet for some reason ;n; I don’t post much about myself because I don’t know if y’all would wanna hear about my life/problems lmao. Also my playlists is a whole problem UGH I made my Nov one and forgot to post it, and didn’t have wifi til like Jan and I don’t know what to do with them. I will put a little bit of what my life is rn lmao:

I am about to go back to Radford for my 2nd semester, and I am happy with how my classes are. I am going through some really messy boy problems like.... ugh. I am trying to work things out and people like @ayoshi​ @bowl-of-plumbobs​ @dogsill​ and a groupchat im in on discord have kept me from being miserable. I just can’t get it resolved til I go back and I have been gone for a month with it just... building.

@simspigccfinds said: How long did it take you to learn how to make cc?

Well I ‘knew’ how when I first started, but I wouldn’t say I got to the point where I knew how to make stuff 99% right until late 2017, early 2018.   Practicing and learning from trial and error is the best way I learned.

Anonymous said: I'm new here but do you like Red Velvet?            

yes! they are tied with BP for my #2 group. I love RV songs/videos, but I love the BP girlies so much bc they were my first kpop group ;n;

Anonymous said: idk if you've been asked this before (i went through ur asks and ur faq and i couldnt find anything about this but i couldve missed it) Would you ever consider making a big download for all of ur cc? I really wanna download it all but theres so much!

Okay with this idk how I would do it. I post three new hairs every month. Some of my old hairs I know have glitches and I would not want to include them. I am going to try to finish some revamps/updates of hairs and then see about a giant .zip file and maybe a merged package of all my hairs.

Anonymous said: I LOVE ALL UR HAIRS!!! I use them on all of my white sims ❤️❤️

idk if this was shade ewdgfvbn thank you?? I know I don’t make many POC hairs and I want to start doing more, they just take more time to perfect imo and I try to have X amount of hairs for voting everything, and 3 release every month so it is hard to get popping different hairs in and out in that limited time.

Anonymous said: Omg your sims are gorgeous, I love your creations! I am saving up right now but as soon as I have enough money to spare, I am definitely becoming a patron :)

thank you so much!!! I appreciate you even thinking of being a patron <3

@set-fire-to-the-stars said: HEYYY! First, I'd like to say your work is AMAZING and I really enjoy having your hairs in my game. I have a suggestion, because we're both LOONA stans... You know that one hairstyle YeoJin is always wearing? That would look so cute in sims 4...

thank you!! lmao the hair with the like 5 or 6 buns? Maybe!! It would be a bit tricky to do but I would like to try it one day.

Anonymous said: Just wanted to let you know that I have a friend called Lydia and her Hair is just as your "Lydia" Hair, it's so accurate that I had to giggle

lmao I am happy you got a giggle from it. I made it forever ago but I know it was based off of someone. . . .

Anonymous said: Hi! Do you have any hairs/cc for children? Thank you!

i don’t ;n; but @naevys-sims​ has converted a HUGE amount of my hairs to children if you want to check them out <3

Anonymous said: is it okay to edit your meshes for personal use only?

yeah haha for personal use is fine

Anonymous said: Hello!, i really like your cc. but, most of them doesn't seem to work with me, when i try to put it on my sim, it looks bald. do you know what's wrong with it?. thanks ~

You may just be downloading the recolors. Make sure to download the one that doesn’t say ‘recolors’ too.

@debsim​ said: hey i just want to say that you are my favorite cc creator and my sister is also born on the same as you lol :)            

thank you!!! lmao it is cool that me and ur sis have the same birthday :P

Anonymous said: I appreciate you so so much. I feel like i've already told you this but my god, you improve everything about my game. You've literally made my life happier and just, i'm so happy 😩❤

awe thank you!!! I just make simple hairs <3 I am happy that you think it improves your game. Thank you again

Anonymous said: I'd really love to see something fresh from you.  All i see on my dash is the same hair with small variations :/

all my releases are picked by Patreon Pledges through voting, so it isn’t up to me entirely. I just make/finish the hairs being voted on. All I can recommend doing to change that is pledge and vote sdgfvbb

@ssmorqqii​ said: Okay so this isn't much of an ask really but I just wanted to give you a heads up as an excessive cc downloader/user that your cc is HEAVEN. It makes the whole game so much better and I just wanted to thank you.            

thank you omg stuff like this makes me feel good about making content for the game <3 knowing that people think my hair changes the game enough to make it better. Thank you again

Anonymous said: do you use a cleavage overlay or special skin on your female sims?

I use two skin overlays and a default. That is it though besides makeup. No cleavage overlay

Anonymous said: How are your sims so pretty? Would you ever upload them? Like the one you’re using with get famous for example?

My sims are uploaded already to my origin and my blog lmao, I am planning to update them in the next few weeks though. DL page here

Anonymous said: not gonna lie that I followed you mainly cause you're a LOONA stan! <3

oh absolutely

Anonymous said: Another patron saint bitch. Sorry ugh

efvbn this made me giggle lmao ty

Anonymous said: sulsul! so I don't know how patreon works but when you pledge? do you have to pledge month to month or can i just be for one month?

you can pledge for just one month by pledging and then cancelling before you get charged the next month. I think you get charged a small fee if you re-pledge in the future though. So doing it month-to-month is a bit cheaper

@ssmorqqii said: hi this isnt a question but i just wanted you to know that i think youre pretty frikin great okay thank u            

thank you ddgfvbn i appreciate it

okay after this idk when I answered last so im gonna end it here. Does anybody read all of these things lmao efdhgb

[beihonglin]

seeing lin yanjun irl!!

okay i want to preface this by saying that yanjun is Really Not My Type (my type is zhangjing / honglin / eunwoo i.e. soft smiley angels) so all this is coming from a non-yanjun stan!! please don’t kill me

so a little while back this guy i follow on wechat posted about yanjun’s flight schedule from shanghai to new york and @ynajun​ and i were like !!!!!! except he didn’t post any details so we had to scout around for information ourselves?? i.e. relying on info from friends & fansites’ previews of him leaving shanghai and counting 14h forwards and trying to find flight details on flight apps 

this is gonna get long y’alls so under the cut it goes

180907

but fast forward and we’re at jfk terminal 1 at 2pm and ready to die!! we meet a bunch of c-fans who specially flew from china to new york just to follow him (it’s insane how much money they have!!!!!! one of them was just like ‘sure i’m gonna buy yanjun a dior gift just because’ even though ! she was an ikun/isee ! and not an evanism!!) and some who drove down to ny for the weekend and we form a group chat!

and so we wait one and a half hours for yanjun to come out of customs dammit yanjun and he !!!! appears!!!! 

skinny legend himself!!!! and we can’t see him at all bc he’s all bundled up but it’s okay we know he a tol and skinny god!!!! also bc he's looking down at the ground and makes no acknowledgement of the people around him whatsoever 

also there's a LOT of people and everyone follows him out of the waiting space into the pick-up area (it really wasn’t as crowded as it looks in the picture like there was space to walk and stuff but also i’m used to new york crowds so i can’t objectively say)

but boi gets in a car and drives away and conno and i have to leave for a meeting anyway so we go back!

and proceed to go to times square after the meeting bc we’re both dumbasses and thought he would go to times square... bUT GUESS WHAT AYEEE WE SAW HIM THERE!!!

jk lmao he didn’t go to times square that night so we sat there like two idiots for two hours in a slight drizzle for nothing ajajkahskjs

180908

okay so the night before we’re sitting on the group chat and one of the jiejies in the chat was like hey bitches so tmr he’s gonna be at world trade centre for the longchamp show at 3pm and at the soho store at 4pm yall wanna go? and ofc we’re all like ??? yeS????

so we meet for lunch and start camping out at world trade centre at 1.30pm waiting for him to come and he !! doesn’t show up until the last minute 

also bc we were waiting for so long one of the jiejies was like, “damn if he doesn’t show up soon i’m jumping wall and opening a fansite for the security guards,,” which was ?? understandable bc look at one of them:

like ?? damn boi 

and after a lot of false scares later (other celebrities show up and everyone rushes there only to find out it’s not yanjun etc) GOD HIMSELF FINALLY ARRIVES JESUS CHRIST ON A STICK 

connie: “what did he do in his past life to deserve this face,,,, fucK you,,”

yall i got an ask asking if he really was unphotogenic and,,,, yanjun,,, mr leej,,,,, a whole god,,,,,,,,, listen you know how you try to take a photo of the sun but your camera fucks up and you’re left with one (1) shining dot in the middle of a black blur,,,, that’s what taking pictures of lin yanjun is like 

also to clarify i don’t whitewash my pictures i only adjust for exposure, shadows, contrast and vibrance so uh mr golden statue in all his glory  

also there was like a shit ton of people (more than the airport crowd) mostly bc there were also reporters and other non-yanjun fansites + random people from the memorial site across the road who came over to see what the commotion was so i’d estimate about 50 people:

but also ?? his name 冷彦俊 (cold yanjun) really isn’t for nothing he didn’t look at anyone at all and mostly stared into the distance and he didn’t smile or acknowledge anyone once the entire weekend and his rbf was ?? really hella strong so mmmmmmmmm idk

also ^ this is the best picture i took all weekend oof i’m really proud of it please don’t edit or crop logo thanks 

so after he goes into the building we all sit around and cry for a good ten minutes before getting our shit together and planning our next course of action (read: i pull out lightroom and start editing photos until everyone else decides on our next course of action bc i’m terrible at making decisions) 

and after a good half hour it’s decided that conno and i check out the spring street location while the rest of them wait for him to come out of the longchamp show!! and so we take the subway to soho & they send us a picture of his car plate so we can look out for him in case he gets there earlier than they do but as it turns out the new york subway is reliable for once and they arrive before his car gets there so !! 

anyway the longchamp staff were like yall can wait inside!! and so a good two thirds of them went to wait inside to get good pics but conno and i were like nah we don’t trust that shit so we stood outside in the slight drizzle

a good choice!! bc his car pulled up near the side entrance instead of the main entrance and since conno and i knew the car plate number we were like o shit that’s him and ran into position!! 

he went in through a side door like really really fast and i think we were two of the few people who actually saw him enter / got pictures of him entering the building?? we waited a good two hours for this one moment zzzzz also he changed clothes in the car asdjhdaskjdhsa 

and so we wait another two hours outside in the rain for him to come out and this time everyone was smart and nobody waited in the longchamp store so everyone poured out to wait for him and it was really really crowded + there were other bystanders who were like ?? who y’all waiting for??? and decided to wait and take pictures too even though they had no idea who lin yanjun was so it was Packed (there were even people waiting across the road just to get a glimpse of whoever we were waiting for) and i didn’t get photos zzzz 

180909

so the night before conno and i are trying to catch up on homework when someone in the wechat group sends a picture of yanjun on the street and we were like !!!!! o myg od 

bc 1) he looks hella good asdlhkfja 2) i’ve lived in housing for two years and both those years were spent in different dorms in zip code 10003 so if there are pictures of any celebrity in any part of 10003??? both conno and i are highly likely to be able to tell where they are

and so we immediately recognise the background of the picture as somewhere near one of my old dorms (i’m not gonna say where his hotel is ajsdhfkjd he’s still in new york at the time i’m posting this) and like ??? damn yalls longchamp really spending that dough on yanjun 

i know i put the header of this section as 180909 but it’s a lie asdjhkjs i check the weather forecast and it says it’s going to rain all sunday and i’m just like :~) jk i’m not going out in new york rain even for mr lyj so uh that’s the end of my account asjkhkdsajd 

(SPEAKING OF THE WEATHER!! it’s been raining every day since lin yanjun landed in new york and the temperature has been dipping lower every day kajsdlha and it’s apparently going to get warm tomorrow right when he leaves so uhhhhhh i’m not saying he’s causing the black clouds but that’s,,, also exactly what i’m saying)

(also bi wenjun just landed today and apparently the weather’s getting warmer from here until he leaves so coincidence that the weather’s getting nicer the moment weatherman boy wenjun arrives??? i think not) 

anyway things i’ve learnt from this weekend:

fansites really work very hard to take photos - they spend so much money flying back and forth to get airport pictures + they spend so much !! energy !! running up and down and playing waiting games just to get a few good shots, please respect their photos and !! stop!!!!! editing !! without their permission!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

most of them also buy their photos - there were some fantakens uploaded to fansites that clearly weren’t taken by them (photos from inside the longchamp show when clearly nobody but the media was allowed in) so we knew that those fansites bought their photos from journalists + there were also more fansites releasing photos than people at the venue so some of them were 代拍s selling photos to fansites (not that there’s anything wrong with this, it’s just ?? interesting to have found this out i was wondering how some of them got their photos)

some fansites also have like 0 sense of privacy - at the longchamp spring street store they had cars prepared and running just waiting for him to leave so they could jump into the cars and follow him wherever (we’re still trying to work out who they are so we can stop supporting them on forjingyan ;;;;)

yanjun,,,, truly is one of the coldest idols asjdkldasjk our wechat group was talking about it and one of the jiejies in there (we were two of the youngest,,,, a first!!) has been following him around for the thx with love tours and she says she’s only seen him talk to fans one (1) time the whole time she’s followed him!! compared to another jiejie who usually follows 1k around and she says ziyi’s usually very gentle & always speaks to fans ;;;;; + how there are always pictures of zhangjing smiling or at least waving at the airport 

(more of a self-reflection point) but i realise the type of idol i tend to bias is very much the kind to smile easily / the more warm ones that interact with fans (like honglin and ruibin) or at least acknowledge the fans that have been waiting for a period of time to meet them like ziyi and zhangjing!! (not that there’s anything wrong with being cold in case yall disgruntled diehard yanjun stans come at me lol) so really yanjun is really truly not my type akjsdfhlaksjd 

but that’s it!! thank u for reading kjfkjasdhf

[growinstablog]

This easy Instagram hack could revolutionise your feed

Platforms like Instagram change their algorithms constantly, so it can be hard to keep up with the best way to beat the system, and get your posts seen. And while some tips and tricks might be more about making your feed look good (changing the font in your Instagram bio, for example), others yield more concrete results.

Illustrator and character artist Mariana Avila has uncovered one such trick. She’s discovered that Instagram favours posts that use its filters – as opposed to #nofilter  or VSCO filters from elsewhere. 

The problem is that many artists and illustrators are importing an image they are already happy with to Instagram, and so don’t want to add an extra filter, but Avila has a way round this. She suggests using any IG filter with a low percentage. To do this, select a picture to upload in Instagram, choose a filter, and then tap that filter again. A slider will appear, and you can use it to adjust the filter strength. Go for a low strength, between 2-5 per cent should do.

(Image credit: @marianaavilal on Twitter)

It’s a simple trick, but one that divided opinion on Twitter. Some people, such as @foxville_art thought the whole thing was ridiculous. 

(Image credit: @foxville_art on Twitter)

While others thought it had already worked for them, and could be the reason why some of their posts do better than others.  

@thedragonsen said: “Sometimes I up the brightness of my art in Instagram before posting or do some last minute touch-ups and I realise now those posts always seemed to do a little better.”

While @RobbyBloom5 said the trick explained, “why some of my older posts got so much traction because I slapped filters on there”.

Others, such as @sandforte were willing to give it a go and report back. 

(Image credit: @sandforte on Twitter)

When Avila saw her tweet was getting a lot of attention, she flagged up the Instagram influencer who she got the tip from, Courtney Quinn (aka @colormecourtney). See Quinn’s post below. 

WANNA 🆙 YOUR ENGAGEMENT?! (Read on) 👋🏾 Me again! sharing my IG tips to help your acc. In my last 2 posts we covered the algorithm & captions that increase engagement. Today is engagement in relation to POSTING. If there’s enough interest I’ll cover it for content, promotion, tags & stories next . Posting tips for improving engagement: 💥 EDIT IN INSTAGRAM: A friend with 3M followers told me this trick & it works – if you use the ig filters / edits the app gives you more love & eye balls. I’ll edit my photos in another app, then put like 2% of an ig filter (usually Clarendon) over it. It doesn’t really change the photo but helps improve the reach. I’ll also sometimes “adjust” the photo or turn up the brightness a bit in instagram 💥 TIMING: when the algorithm first came out I decided WHEN you posted no longer mattered. I had a 1:1 meeting with IG & they confirmed, but in the past 3 months I’ve focused a tad on timing & it has increased my engagement a bit. It’s not as important as it used to be, but I think it still matters bc the more engagement you get on a post early on, the better it performs. So if you post when no one is active you miss that opportunity and loose your chance to live respond to comments in the first 20 min (see prev post). With a business/creator acc you can see when your audience is most active. Plan your posts 15 min before that time slot. So no timing isn’t AS important as it used to be, but it can help. 💥 SET A SCHEDULE: this helps you beat the algorithm. Drop a IG LIVE every Monday at 7pm to drive traffic (see @yummertime or @presidentkennedy) OR pull a @colormecourtney (hiii) & post your most coveted content on a weekly schedule. I did this with stop motions every Wednesday night for 2 years! It ensures your audience always tunes in even if you’re not in their feed . HOW WE DOIN’!?overwhelmed or inspired? 😛 I hope this is helpful. I have a ton more tips so TELL ME if you want more . WANT MORE? 🔒 SAVE this for future ♥️ LIKE if you learned something 🤔 COMMENT & tell me what you learned or what else you want to know ➡️ SWIPE to make me hair flip 😛 👀 & STAY TUNED for the next tip – if there’s enough interest/comments I’ll do more Courtney Quinn

Quinn also has some tips about timing, stating you should schedule your posts 15 minutes before your audience is most active. You can find out when they’re online by switching to a business profile – this post on making money on Instagram shows you how.

And for more Instagram tips and tricks, see our post on how to hack the Instagram algorithm.

But of course, this could all be set to change soon, as it’s recently been announced that both Instagram and WhatsApp are being rebranded in order to make it clearer that they’re owned by Facebook. Fingers crossed this filter hack still works on what is soon to be ‘Instagram by/from Facebook’.

Read more:

https://growinsta.xyz/this-easy-instagram-hack-could-revolutionise-your-feed/

[kandjimagines-blog]

partyin’ // (d.d imagine)

Anonymous said: Can you do one where dom forgets it's date night and the reader just thinks he's late bc filming but really he's at a party w/ the guys and she's super mad and idk where to go from there

           I text Dom asking if he’s going to pick me up, or if he wants me to just get an Uber to the Grove and he gives me no response. I wait around for twenty minutes and there’s still no answer. I start thinking maybe he’s just driving and doesn’t want to text and drive so I sit back down on the couch, lounging and putting my feet up and I put my phone to my side, turning on the TV in order to pass the time. I’m cold between wearing my dress and the A/C in my apartment, I grab my coat and put it on, at least when Dom gets here he wont complain that I’m taking too long again.

             An hour passes and I check my phone, still no response and I go onto Instagram, maybe Dom’s uploaded recently but his last photo was from three hours ago and it’s of him, Heath, and Zane. I sigh, putting my phone back down and I get up from the couch, grabbing a snack from the kitchen and sitting on the arm of the couch, Dom’s usually good with texting, but maybe he’s filming still or started editing. I text him again, “Baaaby, should I drive to the Grove or are you comin’ over first?” I add a bunch of heart emojis to make it look as if I’m not annoyed with him, Dom’s usually the fastest when it comes to replying but he hasn’t even read my last two messages.

             Two hours pass and I accept that Dom’s never coming to get me at this point. I text my friend, telling her that Dom and I didn’t end up going out, she sounds confused, “I thought Thursday date nights were like, every week?” “Eh, he’s probably just busy with filming stuff, do you wanna come to the Grove with me?” “Eh, yeah, sure.” “I’ll come get you.” We say our goodbyes and I immediately go to get changed into something more casual, my friend and I aren’t going to any fancy restaurants, I change into some jeans, grabbing my car keys and double checking my messages, Dom still hasn’t replied to me and I take the loss, leaving my apartment and getting into my car, driving over to my friend’s house. Once I get to my friend’s house, I’m sat outside in her driveway, scrolling through Instagram when I see Trevor posted a new photo, “Party boy aesthetic.” It’s a photo of him and Dom, Dom’s sipping from a beer and I feel confused if anything, I immediately text Dom, “Partying tonight?” Now he responds within seconds, “Fuck, babe I just got all these texts, I completely forgot it was Thursday babyyyyy, I’ll take you out tomorrow night instead!” No “I’m sorry”, I scoff, typing back, “Don’t bother, I’m busy tomorrow anyways, it’s whatever.” Now I’m annoyed, my friend opening the passenger side door and I immediately look up, “Are you busy tomorrow?” “Hm, I don’t think so, why?” “Wanna hang out?” “Sure.” She buckles her seatbelt, “Any news from Dom?” “Yeah he’s out partying.” She raises an eyebrow, “He didn’t tell you.” “Nope, didn’t tell me at all.” She looks annoyed, “How could he forget about tonight though?” “It’s whatever, we’ll have more fun together anyways.” I drive away from her house, the both of us laughing, she’s trying to make me feel better but I feel my blood boil as I try to find a reason for Dom to lie to me, none of the reasons good.

[katsukifatale]

Hey Tg!! I just remembered its NaNoWriMo nect month and i really wanna participate by writing a fic idea ive had for a while but idk how NaNoWriMo works and how id make it fit for a fanfic and since ure like the fanfic god do u have any advice/tips?? Thank you!! 💓

hey sid!

since you’re interested in it you probably already know a bit about nanowrimo. nano is short for national novel writing month and takes place in the month of november. its a world-wide event (and supports non-english participation) and the goal is to write 50,000 words in 30 days. the point of it is to show that anyone -- anyone, even ppl with kids and full-time jobs -- can write a novel if they have the motivation and the inspiration. ive done nanowrimo off and on since 2007 and ive written a couple of fics during that time. since fic is basically a form of fiction writing, which is nanowrimo’s focus, writing a fic is not that much different from writing original fiction like most nanowrimo participants. in fact, nanowrimo encourages it. that said this advice may feel a bit generalized but hopefully theres smth here that will serve you well on your fic-writing endeavors!

if you want to participate you should first and foremost sign up on the website. it provides participants tools to help them along the way, like word counter, pep talks by published authors, forums and groups where you can discuss issues and find solutions, and prizes for finishing. it’s 1000% worth signing up, but the website does get rly slow during november (shocker) so make sure you are uploading your word count and your fic to the website as regularly as possible. anyway, use the website to your advantage! there are groups for practically every area, and the group leaders offer meet-ups, write-ins, and even just advice and support if you’re not into meeting up with strangers lol. 

here’s more about nanowrimo and how it works.

when it comes to writing i think the most important thing for nano participants in general to learn is to not go back and edit your work while nano is happening. i’m someone who edits as they go so this was rly difficult for me to do, but editing during nano takes up precious time and sometimes stops the flow of writing, which defeats the purpose of nano. go back when it’s all done and then you can edit the whole thing more coherently. sometimes the pressure of making word count means what we write doesn’t always make the most sense; editing later should help smooth that over, but that also means you shouldn’t try to post your fic during this time either.

it’s also really helpful to write down some ideas before you start. i’m not sayin you need like a full outline or that you need to know exactly where your fic is going, but it’s good to have a general inkling of what you want to do for when you need it. my first time doing nano i had signed up like the day before bc i forgot abt it and i had no idea what i was doing. my story ended with like 20,000 words still left to write, and since i never sat down and thought abt what i wanted to accomplish it ended up being rly stressful. i still managed to finish but you could tell the story was disjointed lmao. so i think having a general idea of what direction you want to go with your fic is ideal, and writing down some scene ideas or dialogue that interests you or even quotes for inspiration would be beneficial. also know it’s okay to change things up if you feel you need to; you’re not confined to what you wanted to do at the beginning. write down everything you’re thinking prior to starting!

i also kept meticulous track of where i was in relation to where i needed to be. motivation and inspiration can be fickle fiends; some ppl prefer to get their 1667 words down each day like clockwork, and others fluctuate with dips and highs in their daily word counts. mark your calendar with your word count goals if it helps. use the nano website to your advantage -- there’s a lot of help there, a lot of experienced writers with advice. make playlists with different moods so you can find the right vibe you need to write. and since you’re writing fic, use your fic community as a motivational tool. your followers, writer peers, and friends are at your disposal. keep yourself accountable by blogging abt it, even if it’s just a brief progress post. know where you’re at every day. 

hmm i think that’s all i got for now! if you wanna be my writing buddy (a feature on nanowrimo) feel free to ask!

hope this helps!

[serenagaywaterford]

1) Okay, I'm late (bc rl sucks), but I'm back and I'll gradually address everything. "Also do not feel any pressure to respond to my multiple essays! I understand completely!"The same goes to you, bc I feel like I'm bothering you too much. That being said, I truly enjoy talking to you. Not only you offer fresh/perceptive insights into the characters' minds (which made me a. reconsider scenes and motives, b. wanna rewatch S1 --some scenes you're commenting on are SO fuzzy in my head-- mind you,

2) 2) I’m already rereading the book), but you also provide such hilarious, sarcastic lines (some of them are absolute killers).

3) personalities” I know you have an inkling of who’s who. :D But damn, that ‘lesbianing’ bit had me giggling. Kudos, fellow anon. Since we’re on the subject, I have another question about your fic (if you don’t mind): is it post s2 or s1/s2 canon divergent? b) “Add horrid fangirls to that and it’s a big ass no lol.” Ugh. Fandom smh manages to sour my opinion of characters/ships/series I personally like. Especially when fans start pestering the creators to cater to their whims or harass actors

4) or start ship wars. Double ugh. c) “So, that’s the Mass Effect connection!” Two more similarities: i. Mass Effect’s Miranda Lawson got a lot of fandom hate back then (even though she was a famous character), just like Serena. ii. She has a back-and-forth, bickering (hateful but not THAT complex) relationship with another female character. d) “I have seen Westworld! Well, okay, just the first season. I got too tired/confused to get past the 2nd season premiere.” Oh, sorry. I shouldn’t have

5) assumed. Believe me when I say it’s a good thing you stopped watching when you did. The overall quality of the series remained pretty much the same (e.g. acting, cinematography, direction), but, oh boy, some new plot twists (which I usually like) are SO OVER THE TOP in order to impress (?) the audience. It’s reached a point where some characters are unrecognizable, bc they’re servants to the plot. Maeve has a lot bigger arc in S2 and Newton is thriving (imo, S2!Maeve >> S1!Maeve), but so is

6) Strahovski/Serena. :D e) “don’t go around bitching at people who say shitty things or stuff I don’t agree with, or blocking anybody who doesn’t like her."Ah, another thing we have in common. There were times I’ve been blocked by fandom people (with beautiful edits) that I NEVER interacted with (except for maybe reblogging from each other). That’s not me complaining. Like I said, each to their own.I just find this phenomenon funny at times. Story time. Once, an out of nowhere anon (whose msg I

7) didn’t publish, bc drama is SO not my thing) said they’d block me, bc of an uploaded gifset for a canon pairing (which wasn’t to their taste apparently) that was tagged as #[series]edit (although the ship!portmanteau was right there, too, so that people could easily block it). I remember being like: "Okay. Good for you, anon!” LOL. f) “I dunno if you see spoilers but there’s one about them.) She needs therapy so much more than a cutesy feelgood storyline.” I did NOT actually, but feel free to8) enlighten me.

——–

I am sort of back! (RL does get in the way of incredibly lengthy essays about fictional TV shows!) NO APOLOGIES NECESSARY!! I am just so happy I get to read all these excellent thoughts, analyses, and feelings you have! (and that we clearly share lol, including the sheer amusement of your writing!). I really want to write more at the mo but my hands are doing that weird old lady thing where you can see the veins popping out and it makes me v uncomfortable to look at. Especially since I have little baby hands. I hate it.

Ok, I’m now kneeling on the floor and the computer is on the kitchen island. This is better. I cannot see the top of my hands. 

SO. Where was I? OW. my kneeeessss. This is a bad idea.

I’m so lost. Fic question. right. It’s post-S2. Like… quite post-S2. I didn’t even deal with HOW or WHY June is back in the Waterford’s house tbh cos I can’t be bothered to sort that out. (Thanks, show.) So, it just assumes that for some reason, she’s back. Which, if the BTS pics/video is to be believed, that’s the case anyway. 

Fangirls (and boys ofc) ruin so much for me. Even if I like the same thing initially. Ugh. Then sometimes they’ll annoy me so much that I end up liking the complete opposite of what they like. Dunno why.

No worries about Westworld! It’s a reasonable assumption! Please don’t apologise, my friend. I do agree that Thandie was very good in S1. IIRC, her character was my fav (other than Clementine lol). Yvonne S2 was just next level shit to me. Like, what you’re saying makes me wanna give S2 WW another shot but when shows get overcomplicated, they’re not much fun anymore when I’m like “BUT WHAT IS HAPPENING LOL”. 

>> “There were times I’ve been blocked by fandom people (with beautiful edits) that I NEVER interacted with (except for maybe reblogging from each other)”

EXACT SAME. It was actually in THT fandom most recently lol. Like, I reblogged one of their pretty edits once. Ever. I didn’t even say anything snarky or bitchy or rude in tags. I don’t think I added any commentary at all. Next thing I know? BLOCKED. Never interacted with them in any way whatsoever. (Typical N/J fangirl lol.) It’s the strangest behaviour and it’s that kind of thing that sours me towards sects of fangirls, and sometimes even the characters they like. Maybe that’s just petty but I think it actually just reinforces pre-existing feelings I had towards the character or pairing.) The only blogs I block are ones that are gross, RP, or spam. (RP blogs is a long history of them stealing and spamming and adding awful commentary to my posts way back in the day, so I just… block em. lol.)

>> “they’d block me, bc of an uploaded gifset for a canon pairing (which wasn’t to their taste apparently) that was tagged as #[series]edit (although the ship!portmanteau was right there, too, so that people could easily block it). I remember being like: “Okay. Good for you, anon!” LOL.”

Oh. My… WHAT. There’s a very odd sense of entitlement here that seems so peculiar to me. Like, that’s what the blacklisting feature is for? I’ve put every version of my most despised pairings, characters, etc. and it works? Very rarely does it miss on. I guess we’re just dramaphobic, mature old fandom farts. Like, “Kids, let me sit you down and tell you about this site before you could block things. Before even XKit was invented…” Not to mention every other website ever lol.

HOLY GROSS… I just got up and a centipede fell off me!! WHYYYYYY. THIS IS WHY I DON’T SIT ON THE FLOOR. (we live near the beach/woods so we get lots of bugs no matter how clean we are…) no more painful kneeling for me i guess…

OKAY. Spoilers. It’s not much but other than the June in Martha costume (which was shown in the teaser Superbowl trailer anyway by now)… there were set pics of Emily, Sylvia, Nicole, and Luke all happy and smiling. IIRC. I can’t find the post anymore. So it may not have been in character. But I dunno… it all seems… too easy? Like, I’m glad Emily is safe but omg. She’d better not be all hunky dory “I stabbed a lady and threw her down the stairs, murdered another, and ran a dude over with a stolen car, but now I’m Canada, I’m all healed!” (Not including the heart attack/crotch kicking here cos that was fair play to Emily. She deserved that.) Like, honestly, as much part of me was like YESSSS at all of those, still… that’s grievous bodily harm with intent to kill, flat out murder, and vehicular manslaughter. For Emily to do those things, you don’t do those crimes without being really broken and damaged. And… yeah. That doesn’t magically disappear when you hop over a border.

[lilyfilms]

ʷᵒʷ﹗ tis i !! alley back with another muse ( round #2 , rip taeyang *cries* )  ANYWAY !!! this is my new amazing muse lily han which i created tonight….like just now. don’t know how she came about , but i already  l o v e  her and i hope you love her too !!! no trigger warnings as she is a very happy , slightly bubbly character who was lucky enough to have a good past. blah blah blah , she’s 24. she’s a film studies major. she’s a youtuber. and she’s a non criminal !!! carry on for more info !! 

so as she is literally a new thought up muse , she ins’t completely done being born ( my little baby , this labor is a pain just come out perfect already ) but i do have a few points about her. 

first off , most people will know and recognize her as the youtuber , lollanna™ 

her lollanna channel has over 5 million subscribers as she makes youtube videos about korean beauty , korean fashion , makeup , and occasional vlogs at special events. as she speaks korean and english , her channel became very international fairly quickly over the past three years. 

with several million twitter and instagram followers , she’s pretty well known. but , despite the many opportunities being a beauty guru/youtuber brings…her main aspiration is being a film director. 

on her second channel lollannastrikesback™ , she began uploading her own short films and sketches that she writes , stars in , and directs. after starting this second channel , her aspiration to become a filmmaker skyrocketed and she decided to enroll at hongdae to study film.

while many universities offered themselves up on a silver platter for her , lily specifically chose hongdae because of the criminal program that would normally scare people away. she chose this because of the stories and inspiration she could acquire from the students for her films and scripts. 

personality wise , lily is very animated while in conversation. especially if the conversation is something she’s passionate about. she talks a lot with her hands and occasionally splits between english and korean. 

lily is also a very hardworking , focused student and artist. sometimes people will think she’s ignoring them , but in reality she probably just thought of a really good scene and is focusing on repeating it in her head so she doesn’t forget. 

filmmaking is her life !!! she breathes , lives , eats , and sleeps films. she’s especially a lover of horror films and crazy prosthetics and makeup. she doesn’t like wasting time on arguments and anything like that , so she’s usually pretty go lucky. 

also , it is very common to see her filming while on campus. zombies walking around school? oh it’s lily han productions. guys wearing ten inch stilettos? lily han productions. there’s literalyl a hundred dogs on campus? LILY HAN PRODUCTIONS. she’s wild and sometimes forgets boundaries to get her scene , and don’t be surprised if your muse ends up in one of the shots. hell , she goes around looking for actors from anyone. 

other things about her , um she loves memes. wonder woman is her #1 hero , literally a wonder woman stan. she uses kawaii emoticons in her texts like all the time (╯✧▽✧)╯  sometimes she forgets to eat and sleep because she’s working on editing. and she loves snapchat filters to death. a fault of hers is that sometimes she forgets problems people have are real. she’s so into filmmaking that some tragedies she just processes as a scene in her movie. alksjfs girlie wake up no. 

she’s just a really soft cupcake with good intentions so love her. 

plot ideas:  ur muse is a writer so they help her write scripts , ur muse once acted in one of her crazy films ( could be several people ) , ur muse was/is a fan of her from her youtube and they wanna be pals , she needs an assistant??? lMAO , ur muse’s past was used as a plot device in one of her films and oops they’re kinda mad , romance plots  ( i’m picky alskfjs ) , friends with benefits , ur muse was a one night stand and she cant remember their name , ur muse played her love interest in one of her sketches and now they have a one sided love for her , ur muse is her late night movie pal where they binge watch horror films , ur muse makes sure she eats and sleeps sometimes , her and ur muse have been friends since before she started youtube , ur muse may also be a celebrity and they don’t like each other , ur muse may also be a celebrity and they do like each other , ur muse and her are drinking pals and help her come up with crazy plots , one time she almost got ur muse killed for a kick ass scene , ur muse is her ex-best friend from high school , ur muse is her ex-boyfriend who got bullied by her fans after they broke up bc she publicized their relationship of her youtube page , ur muse is her neighbor && sick and tired of the horror film screams coming from her apartment 

that’s all i can think up right now !!! haha 

FIN. 

[sweetnestor]

Story of Another Us | Week 7, Part 1

university au, platonic af, now on ao3!

this is the point where we (I, the lazy author) start skipping weeks, so donut fret for not finding weeks 5 and 6 bc they donut exist :)

previous chapter

Tell me if you wanted it at all

“Let me hear you,” Jack said.

I remained quiet, my face beet red.

“Come on, Bellers,” he coaxed.

“I don’t sing in front of people!” I blurted out, tangling my fingers together nervously.

“You sing in front of me!” interjected Mark, who was sat next to Jack on the sofa.

I hesitated. “B-But that’s different…”

“No, you always want someone to hear you sing before you post it on your channel!” he told me. “And it’s just me and Jack, there’s nothing to be afraid of.”

I looked down at my keyboard. I was excited to sing for them earlier, but then the time came and I got cold feet. One of the few things I was proud of about myself was my ability to sing. I had perfect pitch since I took classes as a child. I could sing big vocals like it was nothing, high notes came easy to me. It was just intimidating every time someone heard me sing. I was being watched and judged and I was never good under that kind of stress.

But it was just Mark and Jack. I shouldn’t have been so nervous, but I was always nervous. I inhaled deeply and played the first few notes of the song I had chosen.

“I can still taste the ocean, like it was today…

You said ‘please keep on holding my hands’ and the rain it came too soon,

I will wait for you to love me again”

I kept my eyes on my fingers pressing the keys. In all honesty, I only wanted to sing this particular song to Mark because it made me think of him. I figured I would hint at it in the description box if I decided to be brave.

“Guess I was running from something, I was running back to you…”

Have you ever listened to a song and you just wanted to live in it? Or inject it into your veins? I had strong feelings when I heard this song, feelings similar to when I realized I really loved my boyfriend.

I took a quick glance at the two guys. They both had matching grins on their faces. I kept singing, slowly detaching myself from reality and getting lost in the music. And then came my favorite line:

“The darkest night never felt so bright with you by my side…”

That particular line always made me emotional. I was full of darkness, I was negative. But I had Mark, and he was my light in this mess that was my life. I hadn’t realized how down I was until I wasn’t really there anymore. I didn’t expect him to “heal” or “fix” me, I just needed his help.

“What did I tell you?” he said to Jack when I had finished. “She’s incredible, right?”

My face went back to red.

“Yes, she is!” Jack agreed. “You’re really talented, Bella!”

“Thank you,” I responded.

“They’re going to love you,” Mark told me.

The next time I sang Outer Space, I had my camera on. I did it one take and just uploaded the video. I did covers every now and again on my channel. Those, along with the occasional daily vlogs, were insanely popular compared to my makeup tutorials/rants.

Mark went back to his house after I posted my video. He was always busy with whatever projects he had going on. He was script writing, preparing sketches with Matt and Ryan, editing videos, and slowly but surely working on a tour. That was mainly why I barely saw him these days, even when I stayed at his house. The only reason why it didn’t bother me that much was because I had Jack to keep me company.

Once I thought of that, it dawned on me that he wasn’t going to be here permanently. The semester ends in May, then he would be going back to Ireland. What would I do then? He was the only friend I had. I never realized how alone I was until he came along. I had fun with him. He was slowly taking me out of my shell.

I mean, yes, I had Mark. But like I said, he was always busy, and it’s considered “healthy” and “normal” to have other friends besides your boyfriend. I didn’t know what I was going to do when I was alone again.

What did I do to distract myself from my future of crippling loneliness? I isolated myself in my bathroom and washed my collection of makeup brushes. When you’re a socially anxious makeup artist who uses online shopping as a coping mechanism, that takes up a lot of time. I had barely gotten through one brand of brushes before I heard footsteps out in my room.

“Baller!” Jack called. That’s a new one.

“In here!” I replied, reached over from the sink to open the door.

He came over and saw me, tilting his head. “What are you doing?”

“Washing brushes,” I said.

“All of those?” he asked in surprise, pointing to the giant pile on the counter.

I shrugged. “I’ve been putting off cleaning them.”

“Do you need help? Looks like you’re going to be here a while.”

“Sure, if you’re not busy.”

He happily approached the counter and stood next to me by the sink. I handed him a dirty brush and showed him how to properly wash it. It was simple, and now that there were two of us doing, things were getting done faster.

“So, what got you into makeup?” he prompted after a while. “Why do you like it so much?”

Oh man.

“Are you sure you wanna hear that story?” I asked in response.

“Yes!”

I sighed. This was a tough subject. “To put it shortly, there was a point in my life where everything sucked. I mean, there’s been plenty of times where everything sucked, but this one was pretty bad. I just wanted to feel good about something, so I bought a cheap little eyeshadow palette and wore that whenever I was down. Of course, that expanded and escalated, and here I am now.”

Jack nodded. “So you wear makeup when you’re sad?”

“I used to. But now I do it because I love it and it’s fun. I actually went to beauty school and everything, but I never finished it because of YouTube.”

“Well, that’s cool.” Jack put one brush aside and picked up another. “I didn’t know it was personal, by the way, I’m sorry if I was prying or anything.”

“No, it’s okay. I’ve wanted to make a video on why I got into makeup for a long time since I never talked about it, but I don’t want to seem depressing. Like… I want something like that to be helpful instead of just sharing my sob story.”

“It must be really serious then. Don’t worry about how you’ll sound. If you think you need to talk about it, then do it. If you think it’ll help someone, that’s even better.”

It was itching at me now that I had spoken out loud about it. I had never talked about this with anyone. Not Mark, not even my therapist. It was like a crying fit stuck in my throat and it refused to come out. Not that I particularly wanted it to, anyway.

“I’m still thinking about it,” I  concluded.

“Well, no matter what you decide,” Jack said, “you have my support.”

“Thank you.”

He was so easy to talk to. I was fighting myself not to just spill everything out and burden him with the things that I’ve done. I couldn’t expose him to how bad I really was, and I really didn’t want to tell him something that I couldn’t even tell to my boyfriend.

Ironically, Jack asked if Mark knew this deep, dark story, and I said no. I hadn’t told anyone.

“Do you think you need to talk about it?”

“Yeah, but not anytime soon.”

“Should I be worried?”

“No. It’s a thing of the past.”

~

Exams and midterms still took place. It was mainly for the students transferring to actual universities after YTU closed for good, but everybody attending still had to take them. I was never good at studying, or good at school in general, but I managed to get by.

One of my classes, English, required group work, and that was a nightmare. I was interacting with others, but I still remained friendless. My yoga class sometimes involved partner poses, but I had Jack there to help me. That was probably one reason why we got closer.

But alas, Jack was leaving soon and then things won’t be the same anymore. I had Sophie - kind of - she was more of an acquaintance. She would mostly talk and I would listen. She had plenty of other friends, and her best friend, who I had in my yoga class. I was easily replaceable.

I had Mark too, but he was spreading himself thin lately. As much as he denied it, he was slowly stressing himself out. I would try to help him, but I was afraid of making him snap. He was just busy all the time, practically leaving me alone with Jack. Maybe that was another reason I got close to him. But that’s what Mark wanted, right? He wanted me to have at least one friend so that way, he didn’t have to worry or feel guilty that he was away from me all the time. That wasn’t a bad thing, I did need friendship.

It was a typical warm day… well, it wasn’t warm to me. Jack was a bit miserable, claiming it was “hot as fucking balls.”

“This is nothing compared to the summertime,” I told him, amused. “In my hometown, it’s all desert, so you’d get the dryest heat of your life. Oh, and during the spring, it’s so windy that you’re pretty much eating dirt.”

We were both out of class early due to exams. We had extra time to kill. It was nearing five o’clock and the campus was particularly barren. I didn’t have any videos to film today, and Jack liked to film well into the night.

“Can we go to the Tube?” he asked. “I heard it’s good.”

“Really?” I asked in response, my stomach immediately flipping over.

The Tube was a diner/bar specifically for vloggers, and it was connected with the university. I had only been there once, and I ended up having a panic attack in the bathroom. That was the last time I went to a restaurant… until I started dating Mark.

“Yeah, I’ve never been there! Please?” Jack asked, giving me and exaggerated pout.

I had to give in. I didn’t want to ruin everything, even if it meant sacrificing my own comfort and mental health. We walked down the street to the diner, my jaw clenched shut from the nerves.

Jack went to order us drinks while I found us a booth. It wasn’t particularly busy today, but there were intimidating vloggers scattered here and there. Some of them were looking at Jack, who was far more known and respected than I was.

He came over to the booth with two beers and sat across from me. “I don’t know what you like, so I went with Coors.”

“That’s fine,” I said, accepting the bottle and taking a gulp. Alcohol helped me relax in social situations. “I actually don’t drink that much.” Because I never go outside, therefore I had no reason to cope-drink.

“How come?” he asked. “You strike me as someone who does shots and cocktails.”

I shook my head, chuckling a little. “Nope. The idea that a liquid can impair your thoughts and actions is a bit terrifying.” Yet it’s one of your maladaptive behaviors. Okay then, Bella.

Jack rolled his eyes, amused. “Are you a lightweight, Bellers?”

I was embarrassed by that little fact for some reason. “No…”

“Chug your beer, then.”

“iChale! No way!”

“Come on! I’ll do it with you! Look!” Without missing a beat, Jack took his own bottle and began to down it.

Fuck it. This bout of nerves and anxiety wasn’t going to go down by itself. I tipped down my beverage, though I didn’t feel any different once I finished it. Beer never really did it for me, I needed something stronger.

“You drunk yet?” Jack jokingly asked when he put down his empty bottle.

“It’s gonna take more than that, mijito,” I said back.

At one point, a waiter came by and replaced our drinks with new ones. Jack ordered some food as well, and we got settled in.

“So, how’d you meet Signe?” I asked.

“She made some art of me, and I started talking to her on Tumblr,” he replied. “There was this time where she was streaming, she was drawing a picture of me. I went onto the stream and watched a little bit, and I told her ‘you better draw me pretty.’ She told me to go fuck myself.”

I giggled. “How romantic.”

“Yeah… I really miss her.” He took another sip of his beer. “How did you and Mark meet?”

“It was here at YTU. We had some classes together, and we were partnered together on a project,” I said. “And you know me, I was super quiet and awkward. Except, when he tried to make conversation with me, I did not want to cooperate.”

“Same old Bella,” Jack commented, smiling. “So you were friends before you started dating?”

“Yeah, we only started dating in October, but we’re pretty close.”

“Do you not drink because he can’t?”

“It’s a personal choice. You’d think with all the shit I have in here-” I pointed to my head “-I’d be a raging alcoholic. But no.”

“That makes you a very strong person. I respect that.”

I smiled. “Thanks, dude! Wanna do a shot or two?”

“Sure!”

When the waiter came with our food, I managed to order two tequila shots. One bright side of my drinking-in-social-situations habit, I could do things on my own without shaking as much. However, I was still too polite and shy to say anything when we were presented with a whole plate of tequila shots.

Jack was giggling once the waiter had gone. “Is this what you ordered?”

I hesitated. “I did say a shot or two…”

“Oh, tiny little Baller. Ready?” He took one small glass and held it up.

I took a deep breath and held up my own. “Let’s do this. To… friendship?”

“To friendship!”

And down went the first shot.

It burned my throat, but not enough to make me want to throw it back up. It just made me want to drink more. I was feeling better and more free as the alcohol set into my system. More people entered the diner, and I wasn’t plagued with the urge to hide in the bathroom. But if I did feel that, then I had more tequila to help me out with that.

I looked through my phone at one point, some time after emptying two more shot glasses. I was making sure I didn’t receive any texts from Mark. As usual, I had no new notifications, so I scrolled on Tumblr, and my heart began to burst.

“Jack,” I said urgently. “I need to tell you something.”

“Tell me,” he replied, leaning forward in his seat. His cheeks were flushed.

“You fans are so fucking nice, dude. I love them.”

“I know! Thank you! They’re being nice to you?”

“They’re drawing fanart, and they say my makeup is pretty!” I could have cried in that moment. “They also have this funny idea that we should be together.”

“That's called shipping,” Jack pointed out.

“I know, I'm just thinking,” I said, “maybe the shippers are going to my head or something.” I hesitated. “Do you think if you didn't have Signe, and I didn't have Mark, that we…” I let my sentence finish itself.

He actually considered it, looking at his empty shot glass with a lot of thought. “I don't know. I can't imagine myself with anyone but Signe. You and me? Maybe… in another life probably.”

“Another story,” I added. “Una historia de otros nosotros.”

“I'm going to pretend like I understood that.” Jack chuckled. “Do you actually think we could work?”

I shrugged. “Maybe. I mean, we're complete opposites, but maybe that's not a bad thing. You bring out my happy, energetic side, and I…”

“You teach me how to shut the fuck up,” Jack continued. “No but really, you taught me more about anxiety.”

“You make me want to be a better person,” I said, my words slurring a little bit. “You’ve made me feel less lonely. God, you're such a nice, good person Jack! I don't deserve a friend like you!”

“Aw, you're so sweet, Baller!” he replied. “I'm glad we're friends on some level, y'know? Sure, in another story we could be more than that, but I'm happy where we are right now. Besties, and nothing more.”

“Exactly! We should get bracelets or something...” I could have cried, this was such a nice moment. I really did love Jack, as much as you can love a good friend.

“If you and Mark ever break up, I'm still hanging out with you,” he said. “That's how close I think we are.”

“Bros before hoes doesn't apply to me?”

“You're a bro! The best bro, queen of the bros!”

“You sound like Felix.” I giggled.

“Maybe that's a sign we've had too much to drink. Let's call someone, shall we?”

“Yeah, let’s do it.” I pulled out my phone, somehow managing to dial Mark.

“Bellaboo!” he greeted upon answering.

“Hi Markimoo!” I greeted back, giggling like a little girl. “My love, my life, my wife!”

He chuckled on the other line. “Where are you?”

“Me and the Jack decided to have special friend time,” I explained. “We’re having fun, but maybe too much fun. There was tequila involved.”

“Oh, I understand. Can you drive, babe?”

Everything he was saying was funny. “I don’t think so. Could you be the bestest, sweetest person ever and pick us up? Estamos cerca del universidad, si sabes?”

“English, honey,” he told me.

“Y’know that one bar, restaurant, thing by campus? That’s where you’ll find me and my son.”

“Jack is your son now?” Mark laughed.

“Yes, I adopted him, and we’re raising him together! Right, Jack?”

“Right!” he replied even though he didn’t hear what me and Mark were talking about.

“Okay, I’ll be right there, baby,” Mark told me.

“Thank yooouu, I love yoouu,” I sang before hanging up.

_______

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