#assuming u haven't gotten them all already lmao

[unrelatabledude]

hi okay. dungeon meshi crazy b au. i think it was @tunkus who encouraged me to type this so. thank u. for indulging me. some of this is up in the air and some of this is subject to change but lets get into it.

major spoilers for the central conceit to dungeon meshi. the anime hasnt gotten there just yet! Have a kohaku to keep you occupied otherwise.

Kaname is the Lord of the dungeon. HiMERU at this point, is a shared pet name between Kaname and our Merumeru. They explore together, Merumeru worked as a canary for a while, and they publish wildly different papers under the same name. A while ago, Kaname got ensnared by the Winged Lion, so hes been ruling down there for a while and Himeru is slowly trying to lure him out and save him.

The original idea was to have Kaname be essentially a post dungeon Mithrun, with Himeru trying to find a solution, but I like the active role better. More Tojo brothers content.

Hiiro is our Falin, eaten and transformed in the dungeon. he and Kaname hang out. Kaname's new pet bird that wants to feed him. Another idea is to have him just be lost down there but i love. Chimiiro. Himeru resurrects Hiiro knowing that he'll most likely be transformed, but does it anyways to lure out Kaname.

Rinne is still a runaway prince, so that makes me hesitiate with the ending. I don't want Rinne to be forced into leadership, but we can see how it goes/if people have ideas for it lmao. Niki 100% still found a 17yr old Rinne on the street but due to being. a Gnome. They were closer to the same maturity (sad. sad) . Rinne and Niki come up with the Dungeon Food idea together, Rinne comes up with the plan to eat food, but it's Niki's experience and talent that make it work. They lost all their money gambling down there, as well. Himeru joins the group Post-Hiiro Incident, but he knew Kohaku beforehand, and help rescue him from his situation. (A living weapon created by the Suou family) Kohaku's reccomendation makes the deal better, as well as Himeru's willingness to leave the surface immediately.

I want it to be Rinhime focused, with both of them trying to figure out exactly what the other wants out of the dungeon. There's a huge bit I have in my head where Rinne mentions he's read Himeru's books and everyone assumes its the horrific bodice rippers Kaname writes, when no. Rinne reads Himeru's dry ass Plant Anatomy books.

The Canaries are a bigger factor earlier, as they were already on the way. Theyre headed by Madara (who knows Oremeru) and Mayoi is part of the group. Tatsumi may be as well but I haven't super thought of the guy.

IF YOU GOT THIS FAR..... THANKS..... ILY..... LET ME KNOW IF YOU LIKE STUFF OR IF YOU HAVE IDEAS..... BYE

[loafbud]

how naive i was to assume not having a job/no college for 7 years after highschool graduation would give me enough freedom to feel inspired, live life and pursue my creative endeavors

it's made me the complete opposite

lazy, uninspired to take action, sleepy, not mentally stimulated...

im here wondering why my life's been so stagnant, why i missed out on having "core experiences" in my early 20s (having irl friends/a job/house/etc, going out to travel, etc), feeling like the world's spinning and its leaving me behind, like its already too late for me to do anything to enjoy life

I have creative projects i just..... sat on, let them live in my head and imagination for years, that I haven't acted on yet because i..... idek the reason, its like this:

i have all the mental energy to get hyped about my projects, freely imagine them in my head, seeing a future for those ideas- but in terms of actually doing it??? im just unable to have the physical drive to pursue those.

so when ppl tell me to "get up and just do it already- dont think, just do or else you'll never make progress"..... it doesn't motivate me, neither does it actually get me excited to do it

if you were to tell me "hey vinyl, u graduated hs now time to go to college!!" in the years immediately after graduation, id fucking cringe and just lock myself in the room.. hs was a hellscape that socially negatively affected my mental health, so my introverted ass going thru another academia experience with social anxiety & being around the same kind of energy was the last thing on my mind

but now that I've wasted my early 20s doing nothing with my life, I finally realize what i need to do to make it out

and after 7 years missing out life, when i think about doing (online) college, i actually get fucking excited??? in a good way?????? i cant wait to fuckin flip thru textbooks and take notes bro, to (for the first time in my life) set myself a schedule and actually take academics seriously, to have fully online asynchronous courses so i could learn at my own pace

to finally give my life that work/play balance. because 7 years of my life's been nothing but 100% play (ex: doing hobbies, gaming, lazing around, sleeping, etc), and i have no one but myself to blame for that

(i know i mentioned me finally choosing to go to a community college weeks ago, i still haven't applied yet but i will before the year ends lmao- i just dont wanna rush into it, i wanna prepare)

....but then idk,, to say 7 years of my life was a complete and utter joke/huge waste isn't entirely true... im constantly learning about myself and those years definitely played a big part in my self-discovery and just see how my beliefs have changed thru time

uhhh yeah

tl;dr- as a 25-year-old artist with 7+ years of a no work/no school life + living w/ my parents my whole life, I've gotten absolutely zero shit done on creative projects and no forward progress in my life in general, so im going into my college/work era

the position I've been in for those years helped me grow as a person internally, but this era i was in has already served its purpose so its time for me to start a new chapter or smthn

[berryunho]

honestly the best lore is when u make it random ass lore bits bc it gives joong vibes like... ur aware of all of it but everyone else struggles: torture LMAO

no bc i'd say the ult situation is relatable... but it's not... for me at least... i've always been kinda picky but also kinda instant?? LMAO IDKGJHFDSHJFDS i just. get to know the group ig and then there's usually one or two?? that i kinda gravitate towards and once i rly get to know the group i'm like oh. yeah it made sense. yeah ur mine now. DSJHSJHDSJ LIKE? (past bc i rly. only stan ateez. idk. idk how. don't ask) when i stanned bts i kinda knew them already but jungkook like stood out, n once i got to know them 'well' i was like yes this is it. also shinee's taemin, yes. but then we ARE quite similar bc i don't have many ults either! i've only ever ulted jungkook (less now), taemin (military pls give him back), wooyoung (this was difficult i rly did not want to give in) and now san too.. idk how it happened ajeshgjhdg

THERE IS SOMETHING I WANT TO KNOW HONESTLY AND IT IS ABOUT! COLLECTING bc u mentioned u bought a lot of merch during tour!!! so i'm assuming.. u collect yunho photocards too.. hehe.. do u.. i kinda want to start collecting woosan?? but at the same time i'm like, do i wanna go through that stress? not really.. but also i can just be a casual collector and make a wishlist n collect my wl woosan? (+joong?)?? BUT ALSO i have expensive taste so like. idk.

AND SO EXCITINGGG korea so soon and i'm SORRY i literally haven't started on that ppt but i promise u once i get my shit together i will bc i still really like the idea LMAO JUST DONT! K WORD SAN OFF BEFORE I GET THE PPT DONE PLS AND I PROMISE IM NOT STALLING JUST SO U LIKE. LE THIM LIVE. BUT IVE SEEN THAT OTHER ANON. AND NO. WE DO NOT WANT HONGJOONG TO KNOW. IT NEVER HAPPENED OK? OK? IT NEVERRRRRR HAPPENED. yk what. maybe joong would want to join. he's a cult freak for a reason. BYE ANYWA YHE CANT KNW BYEEEE

-san anon ily mwah

good morning (not for u probably yikes timezones) it is i san anon and i have not a lot to say BUT!!! I WOKE UP LIKE 30 MINUTES AGO AND THE FIRST THING I SAW WHEN I OPENED MY PHONE WAS THIS WHAT THE FUUUUCK AAAA idk if i’m barking or crying or both at this point HE’S SO! SO! SO CUUUUTE so baby i miss him ew

HIIII !!!!

PLESAJKLSEJKSJ youre so right like sometimes i forget that im the one writing and like ... what i say goes ... i have Power Over the Narrative ... crazy KJLKFJSDKFJ

but yeah lol i get it there are many ways that people come to bias their biases and i feel like your way makes a lot more sense LKJAFLKDJS but oh em gee i would also say that ateez is really the only group i stan ... like i have quite a few groups i listen to or groups where i know the members but like ...... idk i just do nawt care about any other groups like i care about ateez ALKJDFLKSJDF but no fr bring taemin back

AND COLLECTING !!! YES I DO !!!! i collect all of yunho's kr album pcs and then just fansign benefits/pobs that i really like hehe i only started in ??? january 2022 ??? so i dont have a complete collection yet lol but im not too .... stressed about it i guess ?? i definitely think that being casual about it is the way to go lol otherwise its just a lot of work and doesnt seem like it would be fun !

litcherally .... korea NOW ... sitting in my dorm in seoul as i type this im FIGHTINGGGG jetlag like i want to sleep so bad but its only 6:30pm KLJA;DLKFJSDLKFJ but omg so far everything has been so good and its just like ..... SURREAL LIKE WHAT . IM IN KOREA . HUH . but KJAFJSDLFKJ DW ABOUT THE PPT ! PLEASKEJALFKS lowkey i have hella writers block rn and havent been writing so .... as long as that keeps up he's DEFINITELY safe LKJDKLFJASD BUT ALKJDFKAJDF HONGJOOJGAJKNAGN yeah . anyways .

when you sent that second ask i actually WAS awake i think it was like 4am ??? and i had just gotten through airport security to start my journey to kr and anyways ! it was a good morning thank you and KALJDFSAKSDFJS GOD SO VALIDAJKSDLFJ PLEASE OBSESSED W THE EW AT THE END BC I FEEL THAT ALWAYSSSS WHEN I CATCH MYSELF SMILING TOO HARD OVER KPOP BOYSKLFJLS but anyways its valid to miss them im litcherally counting down the mf days until theyre in kr and have a schedule i need to lay my eyes upon them immediately .

ANYWAYS I HOPE YOURE GOOD !!!!! <333333 AND ARE HAVING A NICE WEEKEND <3333 ILYYY MWAH

[baereaved]

All of the odd-numbered OC asks!! >:3c

u devil~ thank u for all the asks omg

send me some oc questions~

1. Your first OC ever?

kairos. i think. probably.well in all honesty i had plenty of self-inserts before him OTL OTL OTL but i think  he was the first proper oc i madei might just think he was first bc he was the first one i hallucinated, but eh. he’s been around a good while

3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else?

i haven’t omgstraight up didn’t know that was even, like, a thingsomeone let me adopt ur child

5. If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be?

screamsmorgan, probablyi mean u can’t rlly know morgan w/o knowing the other dozen ppl in his universe anyways sOplus he’s adorable and important to me, so who better, reallyi feel like he’d be the one i’d write about if i was gonna, like, make a book or webcomic or smth

7. Are your OCs part of any story or stories?

in the sense that i’ve made them up, then yesand in the sense that some of them are ocs for other actual stories, then also yesin the sense that i’ve ever written anything for them, absolutely noti’m way too lazy to write OTL OTL OTL

9. Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else?

i mean someone can take catboy if they really want them like they were a Mistakebut for the most part i quite like having them all to myself lolololol

11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a “sunshine”?

jesúswhich makes sense, considering his namesakein my mind when i made him i was like “if ur gonna name him jesus u can’t be givin him all the perfect traits like he still needs flaws and things” and then that just. didn’t happenhe is sweet and gentle and quiet and kindand also he’s traumatized and terrified of acting out and he screams in his sleepbc i’m a terrible person and i love to torment my smol kids

13. Do you have any troublemaker OCs?

god, all of themcielle, notably, since she will fuck u up and also. winters. she’s literally my dgm oc whose general is winters and they get along terrifyingly well, so. yes.also katrina and benji and dessa and hendrik and reese and rien and nyla and listen, i could go on

15. Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people?

yes, absolutelyi also enjoy it when ppl tell me abt their ocs, mostly so i can grill them for oc info lololol

17. Any OC OTPs?

jesús and luc, dessa and shiv, olivia and ekundayo, rien and the sweet embrace of deathi rlly need more couples so, like, subject to change

the rest are under the cut~

19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)

i don’t think i even could pick oneumi haven’t mentioned enlil yet, i suppose, and i mean? he’s not very developed, but he brings me an indescribable amount of peace when i talk/think about him, soi’m not actually sure if it’s okay for me to use that name, but eh. if not people can yell at me and i’ll change it. names are hard sometimesbut anyways i don’t have much of anything on him? he’s deaf. generally pretty calm and relaxed. like shiv, except actually a good personidk what it is abt him, he just?? puts me at peace? makes me feel good? like i only made him last year but he’s like, the personification of what nostalgia feels likeso he’s really important to me just bc of how comforting he is. like just thinking abt him could probably get me out of an anxiety attack

21. Your most artistic OC

santa is my nameless oc (as in, the game. he clearly has a name) so 1. he is art and 2. he is an artist himself lol, mostly a painterhelena is pretty artistic too, and is a sculptor

23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like?

already answered~

25. The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, shared like/dislike for something etc?)

listen okay all of them started out as self-inserts. all of them. they’re all at least partially based off me.i’ve been thinkin abt this for an hour and i still can’t come up with anything OTL i’m p similar in different ways to all of them, so i’ll have to leave it at that lol

27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song?

already answered~

29. Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going?

nyla, for fun, and benji, bc he’s Cool and Edgy and mr. survivalist who would probably be an actual detective if he wasn’t, like, 14

31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really)

i was gonna talk abt my bae rosaire here but he’d be a youtuber, somona is my edgy 13 yr old bab who would probably have a blog full of anarchist shit and different alternative rock lyric postsalso, she’d be part of that shoplifting side of tumblr

33. Your shyest OC?

rosetta nicoletteshe’s the softest and purest and everyone needs to protect her

35. Any sibling characters?

pollux and isabela……i think that’s it. i need more siblings asap

37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human

santa’s a doll. dessa and shiv are a demon and angel, respectively. i have a couple other angel charas too that don’t have names yet but are gorgeous, so |D also all my space charas aren’t human. opluxx is an ogre. i think. catboy is self-explanatory.

39. Introduce any character you want

ekundayo is my beautiful bab and also olivia’s long-distance gfi haven’t done a ton of development on her but i love her bc listen they’re one of those relationships where olivia is literally the most stoic intense fucker around who will kill u and ekundayo is the purest and softest around everyone but then u see them together and olivia’s obviously happy and totally whipped by her sweet but also unexpectedly dom gf and i love them, okay

41. Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!)

well. yes, but we had a falling out since then, so i feel it’d be wrong to post it herei’d love to see some more fanart of my ocs~ i should commission smth from someome sometime

43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confess

already answered~

45. A character you no longer use?

o'malley johnson, valentia, kiriko and akumukiriko and akumu were my old bleach ocs, o'malley johnson was just a kickass dude, and valentia was my stereotypical yandere childsimce i don’t care for bleach anymore and i don’t have universes for valentia or o'malley johnson, i haven’t done much w/ them, but i still like the last two

47. Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child?

i don’t think so? maybe. hmu

49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memes

god, rienrien would be the worst anti-sjw shitty memelord and i ha te

[gingus-doon]

pov u just shot your childhood hero, wdyd

i.e. i ramble about keiji post-shooting; his occupation, what he does, how he copes, how he feels, etc. etc.

just putting this little thing here because the post got quite long and i couldn't split it up because it's all somewhat related. it started out as a rant / informal ramble but then it got serious lololol

—

one thing i don't understand is why people hc keiji as still having a job with the police post-shooting? like that just doesn't make sense to me– not only based on his character but like... why would you wanna make him a cop with all the talk of how much the police suck lately? personally i'm a brown bitch so i couldn't be down with thirsting over a cop lol. it's just kinda confusing sjdhd

i've seen the hc of him as a private investigator, though, which i like! it's a very neat way to let him flex his detective skills without being part of a corrupt organization and without forsaking his own personal beliefs and feelings about the police, because i don't think those would change anywhere near easily and i just kinda can't see him going back into the police force because of that.

i have often wondered what keiji would do after the death game, and what he was doing before the death game or after the shooting, because i think he'd definitely quit after the shooting, with all the grief and trauma surrounding the job and his newfound cynicism.

i don't think he'd be doing private investigation before the game, or more specifically, before his character develops into something reminiscent of his old self– as he is at the start of the game, he just doesn't have that faith in protection, so i can't imagine him being an investigator at that point. HOWEVER, in a post death game OR non-death game au where keiji has started to pull himself up from that tar (most likely with the help of others lol) i think that's definitely a plausible option for him and i like it a lot :]

as for other options, though... i really don't know! this is more of a stupid idea but i considered him working in a convenience store like shin lol. i had a whoooole au about him, kai, and shin working in the same convenience store just because they can't hold down any other jobs / don't know what else to do for work. shin is able to actually hold down the job because the last manager was mysteriously taken out of commission (i don't know lol) and they were ridiculously short-staffed already so shin ended up being the "most qualified" for the now vacant position. keiji's had a string of odd jobs since the police and this is just the next one. he's hoping to find something with a better wage but this'll do for now, it's even in walking distance from his apartment. and kai, kai's trying to exercise more independence from the chidouins' after becoming his own person! so he gets what i think would be his first job (well, his first official job, anyway... being an assassin and the chidouins' personal maid were more unofficial gigs lol.) ahh that was a lotta rambling about my dumb little au but i just think it'd be neat, they're three of my favourite characters so having them just vibe with each other at work and become friends sounds nice 2 me :] also Coincidentally i ship literally every combination of those three characters so that may have played a part in my casting decisions lmfao

oh wow that was a really long and uncalled for synopsis but this is just a rambly post so it can't really be uncalled for because this post doesn't have any particular point lol (A/N after writing this— IT HAS A POINT NOW, DISREGARD PAST ME)

SO ANYWAY ! i was just considering what keiji would do right after the shooting. honestly i have noooo idea, it's the beginning of a long road of him burying his trauma in a desperate attempt to avoid facing the pain it brings, and it marks a profound loss of innocence which makes his heart begin to grow cold. it's just hard to see the beginning of the process when where he started and where he ended up are very different places.

obviously, he'd quit his job. i wonder if the hallucinations would start right away? him being naïve in the beginning, i'm sure he'd acknowledge them– cry out apologies and plead for forgiveness until his throat is hoarse. the rule of hallucinations in yttd seems to be that if you acknowledge them, they'll burn themselves into your brain and you'll never be rid of them– implying that keiji has done so, as it's likely been years since the shooting and he's still suffering from the visions despite seeming to ignore them now.

ahh, i'm getting in my feelings about keiji now 😭😭 when i started this, i wanted to be held by him, but now i just wanna hug him like damnnnn

but back to what he'd do after the shooting– this scenario is self indulgent, but wouldn't it be nice if he took some time off and just stayed at his mom's place for a while? help her with chores while she's at work, try to regain a sense of normalcy in his childhood home...

i don't think he'd be able to do this right after the shooting. keiji had shame, once upon a time– the guilt would rack him like nothing else. i can imagine him spending a lot of late nights with alcohol, just wishing it was a dream. his resentment towards megumi slowly building as he feels he's being left in the dark as to why, why he isn't allowed to atone, why she's being so cold towards him about the shooting when he's suffering so heavily from the effects of it.

he wouldn't want to be around his dear mom as a murderer, and as a resentful alcoholic who's coping very poorly with his circumstances.

also (tangent incoming), i kind of wonder about keiji and alcohol a lot. in his fondness events with mishima, he says the following—

the "haven't drank that much in years" part makes me wonder– for how long? did he start to restrain himself before the shooting or after? i would say it's most likely after, considering the "feels like it'll swallow me up" comment he made soon after. and, how he talked about binge drinking when he was still a newbie. perhaps it was fine for him to do so, before the shooting— he'd just get wasted and flirt, have a good time. but after, it morphed into an inefficient coping mechanism which he fell far within the depths of to try and control the worst of his grief and self hatred. after that, heavy drinking couldn't just be for fun anymore.

i assume in the "before it got this way" comment, the "way" he's referring to is how he doesn't drink much anymore? or, he could be talking about the depression drinking, but i think the prior makes more sense.

even though i think, given keiji's example of drinking with megumi, that he could have gotten blackout drunk a couple of times purely for fun pre-shooting, i think here he's referring to the painful side of his relationship with alcohol here, the part that took place when he was trying to cope with his trauma. i think he brings up the story of drinking with megumi immediately after, then, to avoid talking about that part of his past. though he doesn't show it much, i think he's deeply ashamed of himself. not only of what he's done, but how he's handled it afterwards.

on a lighter note, though, it's quite funny to think of Lawful Good young keiji shinogi getting drunk off his ass and flirting with every woman he comes across willing to flirt back. like, what's up with that??? he seems like such a serious dork in the flashbacks, but doing well in his police job, he just... lets loose?? no no, honestly i think he hadn't drank much before going out with megumi and he took her insistence on him drinking a little too far, and with his inexperience with alcohol and the successive lack of self restraint that comes with each new drink, you get casanova shinogi, lmao.

BACK TO THE SERIOUS STUFF THOUGH !! i really like the idea of him going to his mom to help him pull himself back together. i think they'd have a solid relationship, fight me! he seems to adore his mom as a child with a good single parent usually does. i'm sure he appreciates her immensely for all the care and love she managed to give him when he was a kid while also working her ass off to support them financially. this very respect for her is what i think would drive him to isolate himself from her after the shooting– as i said above, he's a murderer now. a disappointing human being in general, and an even worse son. to let down his mother who worked so hard to raise him right... how could he? as his condition worsens and his heart grows colder, i'm sure that feeling would fester inside of him. he'd try to ignore it, as he does with everything else, but it's already wrapped its tendrils around his soul. that particular guilt isn't leaving him any time soon.

now that i'm thinking about it, also, i don't think it's likely that he'd quit his job right right away. it'd be more of a slow descent over the span of a few weeks. immediately after the shooting, he may stop showing up to work for a while. he just can't put on that uniform when it's practically caked in the blood of someone he held in such high esteem for so long. eventually, though, he gets a hold on himself– just a bit. he doesn't want to be cooped up in his apartment with his thoughts anymore, and he doesn't want to lose his job. what else would he do?

so, he takes it easy on the first few days back. megumi tries to make it easy for him. paperwork, whatever job he could do that's not on the field. he clings to her like a wounded puppy, hoping that she'll explain why she's covering it up when he doesn't want her to, what he's supposed to do with these feelings around the incident. he's drowning, and she's made herself a big sister figure to him– she's supposed to help him. but, she shrugs him off when he brings it up. she's so harsh about it compared to how she usually speaks to him. perhaps because of her own guilt around the incident, perhaps it's the family's response and how keiji is now, how panicked and sleep deprived the poor kid has looked since that day.

so he continues to spiral with nothing to hold on to. grasps at alcohol in a futile attempt to stop falling, because it's all he can think to fall back on. he's a wreck at work– he's barely living, much less working. but megumi tries her best to keep him from getting fired. she'll get him coffee and breakfast and try to say something encouraging. "hey. hang in there, shinogi." with a touch on the shoulder. but in spite of her efforts, of course, it hits a breaking point. everyone in the job thinks keiji's too damaged to continue, saying he either needs to see a shrink or get the hell out of the way and let everyone else do their job.

and keiji just stops coming into work one day.

the downward spiral ensues.