#ask games: alphabet

[penisbutterjellytime]

Probably isn't what you expected (also sorry for responding so late lol)

But anyways lol there's two ways this could go

I think she'd either have PCOS and keep the beard. Or she'd have transfem butch swag. Beard could be a safety thing (passing as a man) or maybe she doesn't shave it off because she feels it doesn't take away from her identity so she keeps it. Maybe a bit of both.

Anyway, Butch Kieran Duffy be upon ye

[phoenixtakaramono]

Butchlander F, T, X!

(This Ask is regarding this.) I got a little ahead of myself writing out tiny 🔞 hypothetical butchlander scenarios—and then belatedly realizing this was tumblr so I scaled back the intensity ^^;. Also, note, there are portions where I’m being sarcastic with the italicized letters.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Their default position is doggy style, because they’re both old men, it’s easier for Billy to hit his prøstate with Homelander’s back arched and his arse raised high, and the position is supposedly easier on the bottom’s hands and knees. Personally I HC this is probably one of Billy’s three favourite positions to see Homelander in because 1) he won’t have to see Homelander’s insufferable face so much in this position he can shove the handsome cunt’s face down into a pillow if he’s being too loud or annoying, 2) it’s probably the best “tactical” position that allows Billy to assert the most control and authority, 3) he can almost wrap both hands around that trim waist. Like, damn, have you seen how tiny Homelander’s waist is in that muscled supersuit? Man’s waist be so tiny like what do you need that tiny waist for? 🙄 For another man to grab it?? Whøre.

Put yourself in Billy’s shoes. Wouldn’t seeing this man’s smug face and attitude and acting like a general menace to everyone around him inspire feelings within you of wanting to “bully” him and “teach him a lesson, putting him in his proper place”??? Preferably on his hands and knees. ⬅️ This, by the way, is probably Billy’s second favorite position to see his enemy in, with Homelander knelt down and supplicated before Billy, and Billy putting his mouth to far better use than Homelander going about his day terrorizing the poor overworked interns, Ashley, or the general populace.

Billy’s third favourite position is the cowgirl (cowboy?) position, with Homelander riding on top of him. Billy seems to be very partial to women riding him in the show; I do not see why this wouldn’t hypothetically carry on over to Homelander when they copulate. Homelander bouncing on anyone would, realistically, probably shatter the person’s pelvis underneath if he’s not too careful and forgets to control his superstrength like what’d happened to Popclaw and her landlord’s pulverized skull—but luckily Billy’s V-ed up so his pelvis is safe.

Now, I headcanon Homelander’s favourite position, both highkey and lowkey, besides fucking in the air like how he did it with Stormfront, to be the missionary style, with whoever’s bottoming lying on their back, facing whoever’s topping, with their legs cinched around the top’s waist or pushed back. You could argue it’s a boring milquetoast wonderbread position for straights, but consider this: Billy Butcher has no choice but to look directly at Homelander’s face in this position. Sure, he can soften the blow by handcuffing Homelander’s wrists to the bed or tying him up they both know it’s purely symbolic because Homelander can break out anytime with his superstrength to give Billy an illusion of having a semblance of control over him, but Homelander loves it because 1) he’s probably been touch-starved during the formative years of his life we’re not counting the Vought scientists or Homelander’s own hand so any prolonged skinship and physical contact with his partner is novel to him and satisfies his curiosity/ craving for stimulation, 2) the position allows for direct pressure on his enlarged prøstate that’s both intense and stimulating it’s the best position because it allows the top’s d!ck to massage the prøstate or P-spot at the best angle, 3) he can feel when Billy shoots inside him, and 4) most importantly, the missionary position can lead to intimate lovemaking. The position allows their faces to be so close, allowing every thought and feeling to be transmitted on each man’s face.

In a way, it’s Homelander’s test for Billy. Billy cannot run away from him, from this, from whatever this is that’s happening between them, and from facing his f*cked up feelings for Homelander; that’s what Homelander wants. It’d be wonderful if, after reaching ørgasm, Billy’s d!ck stays inside him and the two men hold each other to gather their breaths. To withdraw straight away would be, in a sense, to reject the shared feelings; to reject Homelander himself. Homelander’s also a pretty needy, possessive narcissist; if Billy’s V-ed up, I can see Homelander having the compulsion to touch Billy constantly like a territorial beast scentmarking his favorite prey since he won’t break as easily, so it only sounds right that Homelander’s favourite position is missionary. If he must bottom for Billy, then it’s only natural that he’s a high-maintenance pillow princess who expects Billy to do all the work, as well as expecting a towel or soft pillow to be placed under him, etcétera. It’s also his favourite position if the roles were reversed, but that’s a topic for a different day (you requested for butchlander, Anon, so I will give you butchlander-themed answers and not homebutcher-themed answers 👌).

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Eh. Personally I say not really because I think these two men prefer being hands-on with their partners and think toys are unnecessary during lovemaking there’s an unfortunate traditional macho connotation where the male partner would feel offended if their wife prefers or has to rely on a toy to achieve climax. They’re not that adventurous of a couple per se no, (outdoor) flying sex doesn’t count. But considering one of them is a superhero (HL) and has his own adult merchandise line with his Americana brand plastered all over it, it’d be a missed opportunity if they don’t so let’s say I can see it happening as a rare treat or as “punishment.”

Billy would have to be the first to bring it up—and Homelander would have to match his freak. Billy would derive a great deal of pleasure and entertainment subjecting Homelander to toys, because he thinks it’s funny to see Homelander stunned and embarrassed as hell when Billy surprises him with a stars-and-stripes massive d!ldo called the Star-Spangled Banger that’s supposedly a life-sized replica taken from a cast of Homelander’s own dong (Billy would never pass up the opportunity to make fun of him at his own expense, leering at him and taunting that Homelander’s obviously overcompensating because the real deal’s not that big) or red-white-and-blue butt plugs, chastity cages, what have you—and he tells him he wants to see Homelander using them. Because, as a patriot, Homelander oughta try out his own products. It would be such a shame if Mister America himself did not give them a test run. It’d only be honest and responsible of him since Vought is using his name and likeliness to produce these. (B: “Tsk, tsk. You wouldn’t want to cheat your fans with false advertisement and poor quality control, would you?”)

Any obscure Homelander-branded adult toy, minted or discontinued, indie-made or counterfeit, and even Vought’s unreleased experimental first prototypes, Billy’s made it a mission to hunt one of each down. Some people collect baseball cards; Billy collects Homelander-branded adult toys and merchandise. Although, ironically, because of this, Billy’s not beating the allegations anytime soon that he’s not one of Homelander’s biggest closeted (anti)fans.

Neither of them are bonafide 100% exhibitionists or voyageurs, but getting away with doing something naughty is a turn-on for the both of them—and Billy would go out of his way to inconvenience Homelander such as convincing him to wear remote-controlled bullet vibes to The Seven meeting or party, promising to reward him if he doesn’t get caught. Makes a whole game outta it. Wagers that Homelander can’t last; this infuriates Homelander and gets him egged to try to prove Billy wrong because he’s The Homelander, damn it, and he has “the restraint and self-control of a saint, so I’m going to make you eat your words, William!” Homelander would naturally anticipate that he’s going to win because how hard could it be? But for all that tough talk, Homelander’s set up to fail because with the gradual intensifying of the vibrations throughout the hour, Billy suddenly cranks the power up to maximum while Homelander’s mid-conversation—annnnd you already know what happens.

As for who’s using the toys, it’s fairly evident, because of Billy’s machinations, Homelander’s the one in the relationship using them. At first Homelander scoffs at the thought of it because unlike pathetic humans, he’s a god who doesn’t need to rely on the aid of a toy to achieve release but he’s eventually persuaded into trying them out because 1) his default competitive “Fuck you, I’m confident in my own masculinity, William; and I’ll prove it to you” after Billy taunted him and called him chicken, 2) he lacks agency with his lovers in general and usually just goes with their flow i.e. with what happened between him and Stormfront, him and Madelyn, him being on board with there now being a hot “evil” British guy who’s obsessed with him and claims he just wants to hurt him, etc (he’s happy with whatever makes them happy, if he’s the one providing it (he likes the concept of being perceived as a good supportive partner—and be praised for his efforts)) and 3) turnabout’s fair play so this is all Homelander’s evil manipulative masterplan to gradually ease Billy into the idea of using a toy himself for Homelander to watch—because he thinks it’d be sexy and he also wants Butcher to feel good.

But jokes on Homelander though because through gradual conditioning and repeated climaxes, if Homelander’s feeling particularly horny/lonely and Billy’s not there, and his hand’s not doing it for him, Homelander will fetch a box he’d hidden in the nightstand which contains his adult toys and his prized custom-made toy that’d been modeled after Billy’s own d!ck. In the bathroom or elsewhere, as someone who’s used to modeling and finding the best angles for the perfect shot that looks flattering on him, he could take a nude selfie of himself or film a short clip of him using it. And he’d then text it to Billy with a provocative message like “It’s not the same without you here :(” to get his British lover hopefully hot and bothered and quick to respond back. Don’t worry; his scandalous nudes sent via text are encrypted and hidden behind a conspicuous calculator app. In Homelander’s perspective, it’s a special treat that he’s bestowing him, teasing Billy like this, and it gives him a rush of power feeling desired and knowing the physiological effect he has on his former archenemy. He’d never admit it aloud but on his loneliest nights, Homelander may have used his favorite toy(s) to simulate the feeling of being penetrated by his lover and to work out the day’s stress that’d piled up. Butt plugs, I will have to say, is probably a recurring theme of their active sex life—because it can help prep and stretch the cavity and get Homelander primed for what’s ahead. Not to mention, if used right, it can serve as foreplay. This ties into a different Anon Ask I’d received about what a kink of theirs would be, so I’ll just ask that you check out that one for more detail about my HC for that it involves Billy’s canonically giving creampies, a breeding kink, and a butt plug. :)

Personally I HC that Billy is open to his partner using toys—it’s his CIA honeytrap training—but this is Homelander we’re talking about. So Billy would only be willing to give a toy a try after being subjected to much whining and wheedling from Homelander about how it’s unfair that it’s only been him and “I’d say ‘pretty please,’ William, but it’s my birthday/ our anniversary soon so this is the bare minimum I’m asking from you this time; you love me don’t you?”—until Billy reluctantly caves in to shut him up and uses a fleshlight or something under Homelander’s watchful eye. Ironically it’d lead to Homelander feeling irrationally jealous because of course he’d be jealous over an inanimate object pleasuring his lover. FYI, if Billy intentionally starts using it more often (he uses it more to drive Homelander up the wall and not because Billy likes using it per se), that toy will never be seen again in their bedroom. That one entire merch line will be recalled and forever banned because of one irrationally jealous petty Supe who uses his power and influence to make sure the unexpected threat to his love life is eradicated from this earth.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

…I presume because of the theme of the tag game that this has to be a spicy answer for the both of them, and not the boring answer. 🤣 I mean, show-wise, we already have our answer:

Underneath his Hawaiian shirts that he bares open at the chest, his trench coat, jeans, and untied boots, William J. Butcher wears his St. Christopher medallion—and whatever he wears for underpants (briefs? boxers?) if he’s not going commando. Mister Tall, Dark, and Handsome is an intimidating, dreamy hunk of a man with a full beard, dark chest hair faintly smattered over his pecs, with that hair probably going down a faint happy trail that stops at a full bush up above his groin. And you know what they say about European men; I’m a massive believer that Billy has big dick energy and that he knows what to do with it. If given a choice between Butcher and Homelander, both Becca and Maeve would both choose Butcher without hesitation. William J. Butcher is a service top. He’s a bear with bad boy aura, and both women and gay men would stop in the streets to stare. That long sinister scar that skitters up Butcher’s brow to the side of his forehead only adds to his charm and mystique.

For Homelander, headcanon-wise, underneath the spandex supersuit and leather gloves is a naked Homelander with his blood orange you cannot convince me that’s red; that’s blood orange eagle-patterned briefs. If it’s a special occasion, he will wear a jockstrap or something more scantily clad like a g-string but I HC that, just like Billy, he usually roams around his penthouse in his full birthday suit (aka naked). They’re both middle-aged bachelors with their own bachelor-pads so they can wear whatever they like in their own home if no one else is around.

Now, his chest hair and a full bush…I am of the opinion that he waxes/shaves. Look at that full body GIF. Either he gets a full Brazilian wax or he shaves himself all over for that sleek, supple baby skin—to make himself more like marble. This way he doesn’t have to look at his graying pubic hair *snerks* if he’s bare all over. It’s only in S4 that he lets himself go to symbolize the man’s spiraling but otherwise I believe he used to have a full body and hair care routine, grooming himself meticulously. And unlike Billy who has a faint dusting of freckles on his shoulders, scarred tissue, and callouses, Homelander’s body is perfectly smooth and unscarred and his hands are deceptively soft to the touch (I’m of the opinion he cannot develop callouses considering his skin’s “invulnerability”).

Regarding Homelander’s d!ck size, I think it’s funny to imagine him as average or on the smaller side (and I will always enjoy the fics and fanart that make fun of him for that) for the joke of him over-compensating (it’s hilarious considering how big they made his show canonical strap-on and how big the costume’s codpiece is), but just to be contrarian and buck against the butchlander trend, I personally HC that he has a massive tool as well. It’s beautifully curved, extra thick and long, between 6"-9" when erect. ��‍♀️ Because, hey, there’s gotta be a reason why Madelyn or Stormfront and, to an extent, Maeve put up with his psychotic ass. He’s supposed to represent the pinnacle of humanity, so I don’t see why Vought scientists could not have somehow genetically engineered his schlong, when he’d been a test tube baby, to grow into a length which is “the most popular” size according to Vought’s sample pool of women. Now, you combine that with Billy’s emotional baggage—and now you have a very compelling case of this perfectly engineered d!ck being ignored and deliberately not put to its intended reproductive use. It’s for the good of humanity. There’s also something very compelling about the thought of Homelander with his hard erection swaying and leaking at the tip (each time he tries to touch himself, Billy slaps his hand away because he wants to see him to “come like a woman”) until he finally spurts, coming hands-free whilst being pummeled and milked by Butcher’s massive d!ck. At the very least, it’s a size or length or girth that is socially acceptable and that women would be impressed by but not too big that they’d look at it and flee the other way.

[cerealboxlore]

WIP Game (Part 2)

Rules: You will be given a word. Share one sentence/excerpt from your wip(s) that start with each letter of that word.

Thank you to @wolfsbanesparks for tagging me again! The last one was so fun, so I'm excited to do another one! :D

My word is: HEART

H: Here in front of him was a hand extending themselves to him, offering to help, in a genuine effort of kindness, and in return, the man slapped his son with his cane. (From my fic, "Billy's Middle School Survival Guide", where Billy's mysterious new guardian/cousin he's never heard of, threatens to change his life forever.)

E: "Ever consider a twelve-year-old is just better than you?" Freddy stated, as if this was a simple truth of the world that Dr. Sivana just couldn't see. (From my fic about the evil kid/teen villains of Fawcett City forming their own alliance against the Marvel Family.)

A: Anything else could have happened today, literally anything else, and he'd take it over being professionally paper cut by the glorified paper mache man hunting him down. Green Arrow started to regret the bet he made with the Captain, but if he lost here, he'd lose his pride, and there was no way he was getting bested by everyone else who participated in the bet! Not by Guy Gardner! (From my fic, "A Day In Your Shoes", where Captain Marvel bets some of his fellow JL members that they wouldn't be able to handle Fawcett City.)

R: Running away from a man playing the banjo intensely wasn't something the Green Lantern thought he'd ever do, but he apparently kept getting surprised by Fawcett. (From my fic, "A Day In Your Shoes", where Captain Marvel bets some of his fellow JL members that they wouldn't be able to handle Fawcett City.)

T: "There's no evidence to state that Peter Parker ISN'T the Green Goblin, and I'm here to tell everyone that this kid is hiding secrets none of us know about!" The former Daily Bugle journalist continued on with his tirade against the rising star photographer, in the complete belief of his theory that was just an inch away from the truth, had he not been so totally and stupidly wrong. (From my fic where Peter Parker has to defend himself from sudden accusations that claim him as the Green Goblin. My first Spider-Man fic! Yippee!!)

I wish I could have replied earlier but I got the due date of an assignment mixed up and had to rush it! This was so much fun! The creative sparks are firing up!

Ask me anything about these WIPs if y'all want, it's a good way to make sure I remember them!

Everyone else has been tagged by now I think, so I'm also leaving this free for anyone to jump in!

Your word is: SWORD

[newtabfics]

F and S for my husband Ganondorf

f is for friends who do stuff--i'm not even sorry lmao

The List To Choose From

F = Favorite position. Full-Nelson.

JUST HEAR ME OUT. HES A BIG DUDE ALRIGHT so he would be the type to push into his partner and just fold them, overpowering them easily with his massive frame and using his strength to pump into them as he moves them along his length. Just choking on every moan as it hits that sweet spot in just the right way. *chef kiss*

S = Stamina. Yes. My brain didn't have much for this admittedly but yes he has stamina and my god he uses that to his advantage. Cuz oh no, no, no. He's not a "come and go" type of guy. He needs to come again and again and again to be fully sated and I both envy and pray for whoever his partner might've been because he would've gone on past the overstimulation point to make them weep as he stills for a moment only to start again with more ferocity.

[gabbertrapmix]

OC ASK: CHILULY, please give me your AUTOGRAPH!!!! Your performance on stage was so spectacular!

having your childhood dream validated and turned into reality must be an amazing feeling!

[violent138]

T and X?

Thanks for asking!

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending? 

Hmm I'm not dying for any of these/know if these count as headcanons/these are the random ones in my brain at the moment, but:

(I guess I've seen a lot of posts that argue the opposite) but I strongly think that Jason and Dick are brothers and are the closest amongst the Batbros.

I think that the events of Age of Ultron, Civil War, and the Avengers' disarray during Infinity War are entirely Iron Man's doing and made things worse (rare Marvel take).

Gotham city and Wayne Manor are definitely eldtritchy and mired in old magic, and Bruce hates magic users messing with it at all (because it's quite intrinsic to him).

X - A trope which you are almost certain to love in any fandom.

I'm pathetically basic, but well earned betrayals. They have to be true to both characters, and there needs to be a relationship beforehand that sets up the emotional blow.

[spaceless-vacuum]

Fandom‧˚｡ﾟ･° ｡✎ Legend of Zelda (age of calamity)

Pairing‧˚｡ﾟ･° ｡✎ Yandere!Calamity x reader

Word count‧˚｡ﾟ･° ｡✎ 3618

Summery‧˚｡ﾟ･° ｡✎ another prompt list thing, but this time its the revamped yandere alphabet ask game wich you can find here. i answered all of them and got a bit carried away.

Misc‧˚｡ﾟ･° ｡✎ not proofread at all I dont want to and you cant make me, stalking, kidnapping, Calamity has issues with the royal family and Zelda, i couldnt decide to place this before, during, or after the events of the game so its all a bet on which.

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

He is attached to you at the hip. It kind of throws everyone in for a loop because he follows you the same way he does the princess. Just trailing you around and making sure you  get to your house safe, oftentimes he'll even go inside to make sure that you're safe there too. He doesn't involve himself in your life at first, rather hes just happy to be able to spend time with you, even if you aren't aware he's there. It can be a bit strange at times with the way he doesn't talk and just stares off into the distance or the way everyone seems to talk about the two of you even when you're not even that close yet but he seems to enjoy spending time with you. It’s hard to push him away when all he’s doing is escorting you.

Which is where things start to shift. As he gets more comfortable with you he will start to open up more. It's easy to see where his knightly training begins and doesn't really stop (he joined them around the age of twelve or something?) but he isn't always some silent statue. Rather once he starts to open up it's hard not to notice.

The way he starts moving less mechanically around your house. Slouching on the couch next to you or mumbling curses under his breath when the food doesn't turn out just right. He makes the conscious choice to put on this facade to the public and around others so much so that when he takes it off he is already confessing his love to you. It’s impossible not to notice this fact with the way he is always around you and never says why. Just that he has a desire to keep you safe.

How intense this is is how much you fight back. Won’t allow yourself to be seen with him? He'll follow you from further behind. You avoid him? Impossible, he'll just ask around and say it's an order or something. Lock all your doors? He's already requested another key from a local smith. No matter how far you get he's not that far behind you. Especially not after the towers rise and he gets to teleport all over Hyrule.

:readmore:

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

Yes. I feel like he would be almost numb to violence to the point that the only thing that stops him is his knightly training. He can't just fight someone out of the blue, he has to reason that they deserved it because they were terrible people already. This isn't hard for him to do but he does have to make a few steps to reason out what they've done however most if not all of it is done clean and efficiently. The war claims another life and no one bats an eye.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

Absolutely not. Not even in a joking manner he finds that even when you jokingly pick on the ones you love it doesn't actually show that you love them; being kind no matter what is far more important than taking the time to get in a quick joke.

That being said he just does not care at all if you fight back or kick and scream because he sees it as a natural response to the situation. You won't win any of the fights and no one will ever hear your screams but he does understand why you're scared and he gives you your space. It's like having a new cat in the house. You can follow them as they explore their new home but picking them up may get you scratches!

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

He would get a kick at making you dance with him by coercing you or promising to give you a small privilege back in return. He never gets the chance to dance a lot at the balls and parties that are thrown in Hyrule castle because he has to guard the princess but he loves to do so. Makes him feel like a proper knight courting someone and he likes to treat you with proper chivalrous attitudes and gifts while pretending this is a normal relationship.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

After the fighting is done he's a lot more open with how much he hated the part he played in the war with how useless he felt the whole time. Later he starts looking back on events like getting the mastersword and realises that everyone was wrong about him and he did do a lot of work. The fact that everyone sweeps him under the rug never goes unignored but he doesn't try to fight it much because to do so would mean fighting years worth of politics and the royalty of this decade being worse than Wild’s because they never had to admit that their plan with the guardians was the wrong way to go (cough Zelda cough) which means that any complaints fall on deaf ears. They won so that's all that matters, right?

If it's during the war he’s quiet and doesn't talk but it's really easy to tell what's on his mind. From the way he collapses next to you after a few days away fighting on the front lines or how he can't let go to say goodbye because he just ended then more minutes of this. You own his heart and it's written all over his actions but he doesn't say it much. You can tell what's up with him but not enough to know the details; all you can see are the broad strokes.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

He does not care. You need time to adjust and that much is clear just don't hurt yourself or try to start an actual fight and you'll be allowed time and space to process your new arrangement.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

Trying to escape or even planning an attempt is one of the worst things you can do with him. Calamity as a yandere is aware of his actions but just delusional enough to believe that you love him regardless/can learn to love him regardless. I feel like he wouldn't just up and abandon his duties but if you ran away he would have to until he could get you back. This is the most heartbreaking thing you can do with him because he needs the balance between home and work life and you were that outlet and after you leave he has to make a choice between his own selfish needs and his duty as a knight and hero. Regardless of what happens and if you're successful at walking away or not he will have a meltdown and the fallout if he manages to catch you will be severe. Even if it's not your fault someone has to take the blame for his leave of absence and he can hardly explain you away now can he?

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

Depending on the type of person you are it can be one of three things his lack of expression on what he wants from you, him being unaware of how his manners and actions can come off as cold or cruel, or the fact that he truly does not care what you say to him he's convinced you're in love with him and just need time to settle down.

Like on one hand not knowing what this person wants from you and him never expressing it is scary but there's ways to work around it. His noncommittal town and the way he shrugs after every question is annoying but not hostile. The militaristic attitudes and cold gleam in his eye scares you more than how uncaring he is. It's unnerving how whenever you have a thought about acting up he stares at you with a wolf's grin; almost daring you to try him so he can show you how little it would matter. 

Lastly it's the delusions that get you the most. The way he acts as if this is just a nonuniform household where the homelife will just slowly get better. He expects you to be a stay at home lover with all the benefits that come with it. Hell sneaks up behind you for a kiss goodbye and gets confused as to why you move away. Him sneaking into your shared bed at night gives you a heart attack each morning because you never heard him come home much less slip into bed. Each time you show some amount of fear or hesitation genuinely doesn't register why you're upset at first. Like there is a literal brick wall between the man and what he's done. Of course he knows and the wall starts to crumble at times but is it staying up safer for you than the alternative?

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

A two story house with a white picket fence or the two of you travelling around Hyrule together without a care in the world. A vacation really. He just wants to live with you and get to know you and always have you by his side. Really as long as you're there with him he can settle into just about any routine.

Life isn't always so kind however. He is both tied to the royal family as a knight and unable to leave until the war is packed up, cleaned up, and the remains are nowhere to be seen because of his role as the hero and it being his job to help sort out this mess. Before and during the war he's too focused on trying to keep it all from falling apart that he can hardly give either of you a relaxing life away from it all; and afterwards he can't leave just yet. Maybe in a few years or something. Link will have to wait and see what the future holds.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Not only does this Link get really jealous but his way of coping is to just get a house somewhere away from everyone. Deep into a forest so that your only contact is his type of jealousy. It’s not really his fault he just can't help it. With all the monsters roaming around now, the calamity acting up, and the yiga clan assassins Calamity can not and will not risk losing you. Not his shining star.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

Silent guardian or loving husband. He has two modes and I think that about sums it up. He is either falling back onto his knight training and acting like a blushing mess around you while trying to be quiet and cordial or he's holding onto you from behind layering kisses onto your neck talking about what to bring on the picnic he's planning. Once he comes out of his shell it’s hard for him to go back in. Link’s just so in love with you acting like you're already married feels so natural. The calming effect it has on him is another reason for locking you away from the rest of the world. He can hardly risk losing you, not after everything that's happened.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

Time spent together is both a love language and a stalking habit for him. It may seem like he's acting out of the blue or like everyone knows about how he feels except for you and that's because he has far too much anxiety to approach you at first. People will see how he acts around you and connect the dots but he would rather fight a hundred boblokins than approach you so his main task is to stay out of your sight until he feels safe. Once he's over the pounding in his chest when he gets close he'll start to just hover around. At this point it's up to you to talk to him or make the first move because this man will do nothing to announce himself. He'll just follow you around until the day he kidnaps you and the whiplash will be so staggering due to the fact that he just assumes you'll happily live with him.

Mask: Are their true colours drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Sort of? This isn't to say that his real personality is hiding away somewhere; rather , he does open up and talk to you more than he does other people. Zelda sees it sometimes, Revali likes to tease it out of him, and the other champions see it the most due to the time they all spend together. It's not like he  enjoys hiding or or his knightly demeanour is a facade but he does have more to him hiding away until it feels safe to let it free again.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Calamity would say that the punishment needs to be fitting of the crime so this would change depending on what you've done and the severity of the damage. Running away? You'll be chained to the bed or a wall until he's certain you won't again. Fighting him too much? Exposure therapy you have to lay with him on the bed for several hours while he cuddles you and plays with your hair. Got caught with a weapon? He'll take away all sharp objects including forks!

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

As many as it takes to get the job done. Link knows that you won't be happy as he slowly strips you of your autonomy but if he has to for the two of you to have a happy ending together he will.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

He’s patient up until it starts becoming a problem. You can do whatever you want until it starts to have consequences. You can shout and holler all you want but if he gets a headache, you start to lose your voice, or if it gets a bit too loud and he's worried someone will hear you he'll put an end to it.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

Nope! Even during the war with how many people just went missing or were lost to time he never gives up hope. He knows that you're out there somewhere. There's no way someone as sweet as you was left to rot in some field without him. The gods themselves would have to come down and relay the information before he would accept it.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

He feels bad about the negative ways it seems to have affected you but he doesn't actually feel bad about abducting you. Just that he understands why you're upset and hates to see you in pain. You wouldn't be let go but he can be convinced to give you a shooter leash, to the point that the collar has almost fallen off. It takes a long time because he doesn't trust easy but Calamity can be talked into giving you free time alone and the option to walk around as you choose as long as he trusts you to stay one hundred percent.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

A mixture of how he was raised and needing an outlet for his emotions. That isn't to say he needs an outlet for negative emotions, far from that there's plenty of enemies on the field, instead he has all these soft spots he doesn't feel safe showing anyone but you. Kidnapping you is a knee jerk reaction from him due to having this strong feeling of adoration for this diamond among coal.

Joining the knights while twelve years old, thrown into the world of politics with no prior knowledge, trusting the higher ups absolutely only to watch as their plans fail and collapse in on themselves, and knowing that everyone sees him as a figure rather than a person makes you the anomaly. You're so sweet and kind and you don't even make fun of him or talk behind his back. Your smile feels so real that he can't let go. He needs you, he needs to feel like himself again.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

It hurts him but all of your actions as long as they seem like an appropriate response for the situation make him hurt but he can hardly stop you unless it becomes an issue. You need your time to heal and adjust just like he does. If he stopped you it would only send a message that your emotions aren't important as his comfort around those emotions. A situation he's all too familiar with; so he lets you do as you will so long as you stay happy and healthy overall.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

Calamity would bring you so many trophies from his time spent in the war. A lynel horn from one that snuck into an outpost. He tells you exactly what happened and how he defeated it, and oh so happily shows off the blood stained trophy while you wonder if someone so sweet looking could really do something so violent. He'll keep them around the house along with a collection of other items that he's gathered over his time travelling around Hyrule. He likes to bring you parts of the outside world so you don't grow depressed while trapped inside the house.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

There are times he lets his guard down and those show that it is an option to try and get away, but let's be real here he can never truly let his guard down because of the stress of the world literally self destructing around him so it's pretty much impossible unless he's not around. Maybe the time he spends away from you is his biggest weakness but he can always get you back can't he?

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Not on purpose. In his mind it's his job to protect you at all costs, no matter who he has to get through! Hurting you even as a form of punishment is not an option. He will find other ways around the issue because he could never bring himself to hurt you. Doesn't mean he can't intimidate you.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

Oh ok so this might get a little sappy but he spends every moment he can daydreaming about you. When he picks up an item he thinks about showing it to you so you can see the same things he does. He'll attempt to include you into every little part of his life because that's how he wants you to treat him. He wants to get to know everything about you because all those little details about you fascinate him and make him fall deeper in love with you. Watching you stand across the kitchen choosing your favourite mug makes his heart skip a beat because he knows it's your favourite and he made you clean it so you would have it this morning. His acts of love language are acts of service (such as watching over you or proving himself as courageous enough) and giving you love in the same way he wants to be loved.

He knows he can't bring you along on his adventure but he still wants you there. He can't place you in danger but him being Link is more than a title to him and the way that everyone treats it as a thing someone can fit into rather than who he is as a person makes him upset. This is to say he would like to bring you along on trips to camp and show you the countryside like he could have in breath of the wild but he is unable to in this timeline. Making bringing you items from his trips back the only way he can break this barrier without leaving you  in or near an active warzone.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

Several months. He can last a few months before realising you are the sun to his moon and he has to protect that light or else he might lose it forever.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

No! He doesn't want you to break, he wants you to love him as much as he loves you. This might not be entirely possible but he knows you can try. Maybe if all things work out you can even have a somewhat normal relationship if you don't mind all the rules you  have to follow. It is dangerous to go alone after all.

[psygull]

Trick or Treat! 🩻

YOU RECEIVE: Glagolitsa [legendary] !

[phoenixtakaramono]

Butchlander for C, R, W :3

(This Ask is regarding this.) ( ˘ ³˘)♥

C = Cum (where does your muse prefer to cum/have someone cum)

Both men like to creampie their partners. It’s canon. For Butcher, in S4, as well as revealing that Butcher had cheated on Becca years ago with a waitress, Joe Kessler asks him where his “soft spot for supes” started: “Was it when you shot your load and creampied Maeve?” As much as I despise cheater!Butcher now being canon, at the very least since this has now been written into the show, this better not be a throwaway line; I’d like to think the writers are setting up foreshadowing for a S5 payoff, especially with the Butcher/Maeve scene that Kripke asserted was included for a reason. In the comics, Maeve had a secret child with The Legend which resulted in Blarney Cøck and in the comics “Ryan” had been a baby Butcher stomped to death. I smell a potential comic reference setup, especially with evil Butcher era in S5. I HC, with Butcher at least, he would be a little more careful (if he’s not pissed drunk) and wear a condom. Or if he’s in a risky mood, he’ll pull out to stroke himself to release—before pushing his dick back in.

For Homelander, I presume since he’d always thought his seed wouldn’t take, he operated under the belief he’d been shooting blanks all this time. Which equates to, he doesn’t need protection. Most impotent men would feel insecure about their masculinity so, likewise, with Homelander, he’s likely brainwashed himself into thinking: well, it’s probably a good thing he cannot get ordinary mudpeople pregnant; he’s genetically perfect; he’s a god. His seed is too powerful for ordinary unworthy mudpeople. If anyone’s going to be carrying his child, it’d be with someone like Maeve (if only she’d get pregnant). But, irony of all ironies, he got Becca pregnant. This man does not use protection. He sticks it in and will finish inside you whether you want it or not.

You cannot teach an old dog new tricks. So if John the Homelander and William J. Butcher were to hookup or get into a relationship, their breeding kink fundamentally wouldn’t change. Billy, just to be an ornery bastard, would probably be the one in the relationship to at least ask if Homelander had been tested for STIs because he does not want to catch anything from this, which high-key offends Homelander and would earn a reactionary splutter along the lines of: “I’m a fucking god, William; I do not need to be t-tested; how dare you lump me in with other pathetic mortals? I’m clean. My blood’s probably purer than the rest of you.” (You cannot tell me, with the show’s bigotry connotations, that he wouldn’t say something like this.)

So, we’ve established both men cum inside. Billy Butcher would 100% cum inside Homelander. Sometimes, when the whim hits, he’d pull out early before ørgasm and stroke himself until he cums over the blond cunt’s gaping arsehole or over the curve of his back. Or, if Billy’s feeling a particular mood, he grunts for Homelander to turn over and to open his mouth for him so he can finish himself off, shooting all over Homelander’s face and his waiting tongue; or after releasing, he orders Homelander to get on his knees and clean his prick off (cards his fingers into his gelled blond hair, messing it up further, and breathlessly calls him a “good boy” whilst Homelander, still in his subspace, dreamily laps up any salty precum and sucks him off). Homelander’s usually prim and proper in their day-to-day so it satisfies something in Butcher seeing his load(s) drip out of him. I wager it’s a huge power-trip and turn-on for Billy, seeing the most powerful man in the world hungry for his cock. In Billy’s head, he’s doing the world a favor—preventing this monster from reproducing and creating more Homelander mini-me’s.

Both high-key and lowkey, I HC that Homelander likes the physical intimacy of feeling Billy pulsate and nut inside him. There’s just something primal about doing it raw—and being “bred” by his former archenemy. With Homelander being a vainglorious narcissist, there’s likely also the instinctual smugness and psychological reassurance of knowing that his bussy game’s so good, it’s made William J. Butcher—the man who notoriously hates him—cum inside. There’s also the feeling of ownership—of being “branded by,” possessed and “loved” so intensely by someone. He’s so desperate for intimacy, for that genuine human connection with someone, he’d find it very ironic but poetically fitting that he’s found it in the arms of the enemy.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

I say it depends on various factors: what the risk entails, the appropriateness of the situation, their circumstances, the timing, the venue, and their mood, but yes they’re usually game to experiment and take risks. Both of them are impulsive, self-destructive maelstroms. Whether it’s stealing a moment for a quickie whilst Homelander’s on patrol or the both of them knowing they are seconds away from being caught with Billy’s crew just outside the doors, when you put these two men together, it often escalates to impromptu bad decisions made in the heat of the moment. They are each other’s worst enabler.

I’d like to think it’s also a big turn-on for the both of them. When one of them is particularly resistant for whatever reason, the other party taunts and eggs them on, and then it becomes a competition where the other party cannot resist the want to rub their win in the other’s face. Sure it might be inappropriate to do the horizontal mambo on The Seven conference table during office hours think of all the trouble they’d get into with HR if found out, but have you considered that William/Homelander called him a chicken? Their pride’s on the line here. Their ego, their masculinity, is at stake. If they do not prove the other person wrong, that person will have ammunition for the rest of their lives.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

The costume and cape stay on during sex, same with the boots and/or socks. Homelander’s costume is a symbol, and it gets Billy fueled with ire hatefucking him with his pants shoved down. It’s like this meme:

…except Billy probably shoves those “tactical trousers” and uncomfortable synthetic vinyl-looking eagle-mesh pants down Homelander’s arse and just penetrates him raw Homelander’s lucky that Billy is considerate enough that he won’t go in dry (plus, he’d chafe); at least he’d spit down there if there’s no “nice, big family-sized bottle of top shelf lube” readily available for either of them to use. The pants could easily be torn away by either him or Homelander, although it’s funnier to think of Billy being the one doing it because you get Homelander throwing a hissy fit being all like:

Homelander: Really? This is my one suit, you heathen. You couldn’t have been more delicate with it?

Billy: *smirks* Nah.

For Homelander, the suit serves as a defense mechanism. It’s his armor; it’s his shield. Like everyone else, he has his body image insecurities (like irl models/ celebrities, I presume he has to give some consideration to his caloric intake, his weight, any sign of weight gain, or aging, etc). Removing his costume and exposing his body to his partner takes a lot of trust and emotional vulnerability. Plus, there’s usually no time to strip all the way down. It’s usually a wild and rough tussle between them.

I will have to say, if Billy manages to get Homelander bare and exposed, he’s usually a lot gentler than normal. Because he’s not fucking Homelander; he’s making love to John. It’s a subtle but important distinction.

[newtabfics]

Your Ganondorf stuf is sooo good Im eating it uppp 🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵 How about Ganondaddy and O?

Oral...ooooooh mah gawwwwwhhd.

If ever there were a single oasis, he would always find it between her legs. It was the squeals of pleasure as he just holds her legs open and slurps against her folds. He drinks up every delicious drop she lets out as she wails his name and claws at his hair.

He loves dragging his tongue slowly to taste her and pump it gently into her as he smirks, watching the way her body twitches. He'll suck her clit between his teeth just to taunt her before burying his mouth against her and devouring her eagerly.

It's his preferred oasis.

The List To Choose From

[candycryptids]

😇- What's their best trait?

👿- What's their worst trait?

for Tuesday and Chuu

“Miss Chuu’s best trait? Mmm… You said this is an interview for your retelling of the Warriors of Light and their journey, right? I’d say it’s her unshakeable resolve. She decides she’s going to do something, and she doesn’t give up until it’s done. Ah… I’m not allowed to speak more on Miss Chuu without her presence, my apologies, mister Levraut.”

“You broke into my house,”

“Your lovely wife let me in actually,”

“To wake me up from my nap and interrogate me on my assistant,”

“Interview, Mademoiselle, not interrogate. Though I am sorry for waking you, your eyes were open so I assumed-”

“Ah-ta-ta. You wanted to know Two’s best trait right? Adaptability. Any environment, any obstacle… he’s got brains enough to figure the way through most anything. And failing that? He knows a top notch engineer in Magitek to kit him with the right tools to overcome his few shortcomings. Hey wait did you fucking call me a mad gazelle, you lop-eared scab?!”

“Thank you for your time, both of you. I have just one more question before I consider this interview complete and I let you both go back to your.. erm, busy schedules. What would you say is each others weakest trait?”

“I knew it! This IS an interrogation! Two, don’t-”

“Ah, that would be Miss Chuu’s paranoia, mister Levraut. Most of her other traits net positive gain,”

“Watch your mouth, Two.”

“That is.. ah, her paranoid trait has served to pull her out of many situations she would have landed in had they not afforded her foresight and caution to approach most situations.”

“Two’s worst trait is how I just can’t seem to keep mad at him when he finds and exploits loopholes in whatever rules I’ve set for him. And last week I asked him to bring me lunch, and he was nowhere to be seen for nearly six bells.”

“… Miss Chuu, if I may, you were in Azys La, and you called me via Linkpearl to bring you specifically egg sandwiches from the Bismark, even utilizing the Aethernet it takes time… and when I arrived at your last marked location you were nowhere to be found.”

[Duo Oc Ask Meme !]

[kellycataclysm]

The alphabet asks are really so much fun and quite healing for my tired and overworked brain.

So while I go to bed with a headache, please feel free to send some more. I adore writing them. They would be such a treat to wake up to.

Or basically any questions about my dorks. Also super welcome.

Have a lovely timezone!

[cepheusgalaxy]

OC Trivia Bingo!

Send me an ask with a letter and a number, and I'll tell you a random fact about one of my ocs!

How it works

I assigned each of my ocs a random letter, and also written down 15 fun facts about each of them. If you send me a letter and a number from 1-15, I will send you the respective numbered fact from the respective oc. Example: You send me "A" and "12". The character "A" is Chara Kuter (not a real oc), so I will go on their fun facts list and pick the one numbered twelve, that in this fictional example says "she loves oranges!"

Rules

- You play this by sending me both a letter and a number (eg. B and 6) from the list below

- If you have an specific oc in mind you want to send the ask about, just send their name (eg. Meine) and the number (eg. 6)

- You can send in asks more than once

- You can send in multiple letter/oc + number pairs in a single ask (although I would prefer it if you keep it under five, but it's not against the rules to have more in a single ask)

Characters

A/Kaiki

B/Olamina

C/Meine

D/Totsuka

E/Ceres

F/Lucy

G/Vaiva

Numbers: Currently from 1 to 15

OC ask games tag | OC intros | WIP intros too

[phoenixtakaramono]

K, U, D with butchlander pls! loveee your writing

(This Ask is regarding this.) Thank you very much! Writing these lil HCs are very cathartic (lowkey, some of my HCs are actually things I’d legit write in a threadfic or an AO3 fic.)

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

I’d discussed, in a previous Ask, Billy’s both of their creampie breeding kink here, as well as a brief cameo of Homelander’s milk lactation and oral fixation kinks. So I’ll offer another one:

Roleplaying.

With Homelander, it’s fairly obvious with any lover, he’d roleplay as the valiant hero saving the damsel/ citizen in distress. He’d very likely milk it for all it’s worth if he can pester Billy into playing the role of some hapless citizen of Manhattan getting mugged, whom Homelander swoops down from the skies and rescues from peril. Cheekily asks for a kiss when Billy, very dryly, recites by rote: “my hero, how can I ever repay you?” He’s subjected Billy to Marvel/ DCU VCU flicks, especially Homelander’s own filmography, for a reason—so Billy knows all the cringey love interest lines (imagine things Lois Lane or Mary Jane would say). If he’s been really good lately and Billy’s in an indulgent mood, he can probably wheedle Billy into roleplaying his PA (personal assistant)/ secretary or an investor or a sidekick or a grateful lovestruck fan.

If he’s feeling particularly frisky, he’d switch things up and expect Billy to play the role of a Supe terrorist, an evil British mastermind, a supervillain, what have you whom he, as The Homelander, has been “sent by Vought” to “put an end to.” Now, we open up new possibilities.

Now with both scenarios, I expect there is some hapless third party, whether it be an actual criminal or some sorry Supe whom Billy has had his eye on, who serves as the cannon fodder to the couple’s PDA. Remember the scene in S2 where Homelander crushes the skull of a crook whilst he makes out with Stormfront? Yeah, we’re talking about that level of unhinged PDA between himself and Billy. If it’s not behind closed doors, their roleplaying almost always involves some kinda casualty. They’re both psychopaths (although one is arguably more of a sociopath). Violence and adrenaline gets them hot and heavy; it gets their blood pumping, accelerates their heart rate. But with the first scenario, Billy’s more so acting as the indulgent lover catering to Homelander’s whims—however batshit insane or risky some of his fantasies can be (we’re talking a revenge quickie in a conference room fucking in the seat of whichever member of Vought’s board of directors has recently pissed Homelander off or Billy literally being dressed to the nines having to saunter into a Vought charity gala like some kinda sexy James Bond-esque honeytrap agent whose mission is to rizz Homelander up and “seduce the hero”). Billy’s often the backseat driver in those cases, and more often than not he has to be convinced. But with the second scenario, this presents Billy a challenge; he’s in his element. Now he’s an active participant, doing what he does best; screwing Homelander over comes automatically to him. He cannot get rid of this side to him, even after he’s entered a relationship with his former enemy. Also, William “Billy” Butcher is very hot and sexy as an evil villain—and him being “evil” is very much one of Homelander’s turn-ons. Because this lowkey also plays into his egotistical powertrip fantasy of being the one to save someone so undeniably evil/ who undeniably hates him and being the catalyst of “turning them good”. It’s every superhero’s white savior complex.

Have you seen Miike Snow’s Genghis Khan music video?

The supervillain/hero to domestic family love story is literally what gets Homelander hot and bothered, with him playing the role as the hero whom Billy, as the villain who’s obsessed with him, has knocked unconscious and has strapped down to a gurney with a death ray seconds from blasting him to smithereens. But the villain, after having long last overpowered his foe, is faced with the conundrum of pushing the KILL or RELEASE button—and in the end cannot bear with the thought of killing the other side of his same coin and lets him go. And, obviously, with Billy having chosen the correct moral decision, Homelander has to reward him. If either Homelander or Billy are feeling particularly kinky and Homelander’s given his consent (I think this freak in the sheets rarely says “no” to a romantic partner and he’s been so conditioned that he thinks he can tank anything—so Billy, as the more conscientious one between the two of them, would normally be looking for any subtle indicators of Homelander’s discomfort…unless Billy’s in a particularly foul mood and wants a little revenge this is a safe enough outlet for him to vent out his frustrations, such as blinding Homelander with a zinc-lined blindfold and tying his wrists and ankles down tightly, and ordering him to come with nothing but the electric stimulation to his nipples and his dick, and a fuck machine pumping into him for the next three hours while Billy watches him squirm, gyrate his hips like a wh0re, with Homelander near tears from his fifth consecutive orgasm shooting through him, and him moaning/snarling for Billy to “stop being such a fucking prick and touch me right now or, so help me God, I will rip out your fucking spleen!”—but Billy’s not having that bratty attitude because Homelander’s got five more hands-free orgasms to go since a certain someone had bragged he’s made someone come seven times on his lap and Billy’s feeling extra vicious tonight with his “surely ten is a walk in the park for you, hero?”) Homelander’s usually game to see what “evil dastardly plot” Billy wants to do to him this time. It’s usually very, very, very fun and exciting, new and interesting. Homelander can be a bit of a bossy, high maintenance, needy control freak but ceding Billy the reins spices up their bedroom activities because now we’re talking spanking, riding crops, sensory deprivation, mayhap a cage, some sadomasochistic BDSM play, some kinky humiliation/ verbal or physical degradation (to an extent; we’re talking something as tame as forced feminization, with Billy making Homelander wear lacy lingerie or training him with chastity cages—until the Supe’s able to use the smallest cage size, with Homelander red-faced and embarrassed as Billy deliberately insults his leaking cock despite it being big or a decent-size irl and calls it “a waste of a reproductive organ”/ “a clit” and his anus “a pussy”/ “warm hole” if Billy’s feeling extra nice, although they both know it’s biologically impossible, he’ll toy with his hole and croon he’ll “wife him up” and impregnate him until he’s “showing and round with their babies, just you wait” (don’t tell me Homelander’s dick wouldn’t jolt and start leaking precum crazily the moment he heard that; this is the kind of dirty talk that gay legends speak of)—to something on the more extreme end that Homelander’s willing to tolerate), erotic asphyxiation, overstimulation, hot wax, ice play, etcetera. When it comes to Homelander, Billy Butcher can be very, very creative.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Yes. Both of them do. They like to be a tease and sexually frustrate the other person as much as possible—even at the most inconvenient of times. Both men are the type of cheeky bastard who would deliberately get the other person hot and bothered, and then stop just before the partner achieves climax, bat their lashes, and sweetly tell them they’re tired so they can just finish themself off, sweetheart. It’s both hilarious and/or sexy to them, especially when the other partner attempts to grab them, breathing hard, but they slip away and has the nerve to tell them to take an ice bath or finish off themself by hand.

They both know what turns the other person on. Imagine Billy’s meeting with The Boys, and Billy suddenly gets a notification from one of those secret disguised apps with an encrypted text message for him to open the photo attachment or short video clip with a warning to put it on mute if he’s not by himself. You can pretty much be able to guess what Billy sees the moment he opens what Homelander sent him; it’s very spicy and not PG friendly. Likewise in a very important superhero function, whilst Homelander is probably talking to a senator or politician, Billy will deliberately lower his voice and whisper “Pet (or “love” or or whatever endearment Homelander seems very partial to), wouldn’t it blow that sod’s mind knowing how close I am to hiking those pretty legs of yours up and making you cum all over that champagne tower?” It’s something very inappropriate and explicit, but my god does it make Homelander choke on his tongue and make his face burn. Of course Homelander plays it off when the concerned party asks if everything’s alright. But Billy’s not done yet. The more Billy starts riling him up from afar, with Homelander being the only one able to hear him and him surrounded by old fossils whom neither of them could give a toss about, Homelander will inevitably start scheming on how to sneak a quick shag in without tipping anyone off.

Pretty much both men know how to lead the other person on—until they almost can’t stand it. And. They. Need. Them. Now. It leads to quite frequent, impatient but passionate sexy times.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

This is a very broad wild card question that is open to interpretation. A dirty secret of theirs, that I think could apply to them, is both men, however possessive or obsessive they are, have cheating inclinations (gee, thanks, S4 for making it show canon (sarcasm)). Now, yes, in an ideal world, they’re both obsessed with each other so much that they only have eyes for each other. But I’m writing this HC as a challenge. Now, okay, let’s go with the premise that they were once straight men and sometimes they can’t help missing the joy of a woman’s pussy when the whim hits. However, Billy would do it to hurt Homelander. Like, unless he’s intentionally trying to keep it a secret for whatever reason (whether it’s because he has some conscience or he’s on a honeytrap mission to collect important blackmail material), he’s not exactly subtle about it. Even in a happy relationship, this man has a very real problem of self-sabotage. But in this scenario he’s most likely 1) he’s fucking to get over the craving of missing the touch of a woman and 2) that person was probably pre-selected by him to serve as a means to an end. He wants Homelander to know. To hurt badly. This would obviously lead to Homelander finding out—and lashing out. Quite violently. That wo/man whom Billy had an affair with would meet a violent end. You can expect Homelander menacingly sitting in the dark, fuming, and when Billy enters through the door and flicks the lights on, he tosses their decapitated head at Billy’s feet—spinal cord and sinews still attached at the stump. And this is precisely what Billy had planned to happen. Because now he has killed two birds with one stone, and he has Homelander’s attention.

On the other end, I can see Homelander “cheating” more so accidentally. While I can also envision him going to find someone else if he’s engaged in a Cold War with Billy, with Billy freezing all bedroom activities—and Homelander feels wronged by it—and fucking the third party out of pent-up sexual frustration, I think Homelander would surprisingly be the one in the relationship trying to stay faithful and monogamous. His hand would have to be his companion during these trying times—until whatever fit Billy’s throwing finally passes. He just has to weather the storm in the interim. So when I mean accidentally, I mean wo/men deliberately approaching him to seduce America’s No.1 Hero or Vought telling him he has to enter a one year showmance contract with an up-and-coming heroine to boost sales or whatever publicity stunt. Now, obviously, when Billy finds out, especially if Homelander hides it from him or the Supe doesn’t yet realize the other party’s ulterior motive because he’s too blinded by the rose-tinted glasses of love he has for Billy, Billy’s the type of guy who tails the suspected adulterer or hussy suspected of trying to put the moves on his prey. And he would quietly make the person disappear. Funny enough, the next day, Homelander would be scratching his head and saying the person’s submitted their resignation, been sent “overseas on a top secret mission,” had their dirty laundry exposed, or whatever it is. After a pause, he’d glance at Billy with a knowing look and murmur, “You had something to do with it, didn’t you? …I don’t know what you did, but your heart cannot lie.” (Because he can hear Billy’s BPM, which serves as his lie-detector machine.) Very rarely would he openly and publicly confront Homelander if caught in the act but if so, it’d be deliberate with Billy timing it so that he catches Homelander balls deep inside another woman, and the adulterers noticing him in the background before Billy gives a scoundrel-like smirk and calmly utters “There you are…y’know, I’m quite angry with you” (or something equally terrifying) before detonating the office level with the C4 bombs he’d planted. (Of course both he and Homelander will be fine in the aftermath, but the same cannot be said about the third party. Homelander’s not exactly altruistic.)

At the end of the day, it serves as a test. It’s a gaslighting, manipulative power struggle. Because even if the other person cheated, they themself cannot let go of that toxic partner; at the end of the day, they are unwilling to let the other person go. They’re trapped in an ouroboros cycle of love and hate and obsession.

[yewphoric]

Languages! How many do they speak? Are they literate?

If they can, what’s their fighting style? If they’re a mage, how do they handle being silenced or running out of magicka?

For Ragnar!

:D

16. Languages! How many do they speak? Are they literate?

Ragnar speaks Ta'agra and Tamrielic fluently, and enough to get around in Nordic, Dunmeri, Altmeri, and Bretic (some he's better at than others). He's not super literate. He can read basic words and such, but it was never taught to him, so he struggles to read higher-level things. He can also only read in Ta'agra and Tamrielic. Writing is an entirely different matter, as he's never really had to write. That's something Jenais has to teach him. Interesting aside: Learning the dragon language comes super easy, as does learning to read it. It feels natural to him.

17. If they can, what’s their fighting style? If they’re a mage, how do they handle being silenced or running out of magicka?

He's pretty adaptable, actually! The only thing he really struggles with is using heavy weapons, as he likes to be quick on his feet. The fighting style he favors the most and pretty much exclusively uses through his story is duel-wielding war axes. It likes the agility and damage it gets out of them. Despite its hefty build, Ragnar is surprisingly quick, and relies on dodging and weaving out of the way of attacks rather than blocking with a shield.

[violent138]

A N D? For the ask game?

Hello! Thanks so much for asking.

Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.

I really like Hal and Barry's friendship and Dick and Donna's friendship. For the romantic ones, gonna switch up the ships for the second go around: Vi and Caitlynn from Arcane, and Destiel (sorry, I watched up to season 8 or something last year(?) this year(?) and thought it was pretty good).

A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t. (No hate to anyone that does, I'm just personally not a fan).

Oh, there are so many. I didn't like Olicity (from the Arrowverse, but then again my disappointment about Black Canary may have been the reason). I'd also have to say Stucky (there's just a lot of fics for it, but honestly I thought they were best as friends, so I can't get into it).

Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).

Batman's my main fandom, and I'd have to say overall it's a good one. There's good art, generally discourse of whatever variety you favour is present, and DC does a lot of lip service to the fandom (for better or worse).

The only things I guess I wish there was more of... better fight scenes in live action, and a greater focus on the Batfamily (so much potential). And more casefics. Better live action shows! There are gems for sure, but I think overall so many of them leave me wanting.