#ask Allah for what you want and Allah won't disappoint

[suhyla]

I feel islam isn't very compatible with the idea of a man and a woman in love.

The first argument in support of it would offcourse be polygamy. But then I thought that generally muslim women are not self independent and hence they are completely destroyed by divorces or if their husband die, hence polygamy is a good idea to help out such women so that every poor women has a support of a man. So maybe polygamy was pro woman. And after all the world is just a test. And hence people have to make sacrifices.

But the concept of man having multiple spouses in Jannah so much supports this incompatibility. Because even in Jannah where there is no requirement for a man's support for a woman. Still Allah is promising men 72 virgins. Even in heaven a man and a woman love is not celebrated. And also women's jealousy is taken out of them so that they don't oppose the idea of sharing their man with a hundred other women.

Why is islam so much about satisfaction of male sexual desires

Lol, let's talk.

Jannah is not all about a person's sexuality.

We are promised many things in Jannah. Fruits, rivers, palaces, no ill feelings, eternal happiness - and of course, spouses.

﴿لَهُم فيها ما يَشاءونَ خالِدينَ كانَ عَلى ��َبِّكَ وَعدًا مَسئولًا﴾

[Al-Furqân: 16]

"And they will have therein all that they desire, abiding in it forever, and that will be [upon your Lord] a promise."

Everyone will have a spouse because having a partner will make us happy, and no one will be alone in Jannah.

We frequently read in the Quran that we (both men and women) will have "spouses" or ازواج, so reading this hyper fixation on virgins honestly sounds like basic uncreative Western discourse. People make it seem like men will just be given women to please them, and that's all women are there for. If we actually read the Quran, it easily becomes clear that that's not the case.

Relationships in Islam are about companionship.

Are we forgetting that Adam was alone in Jannah, and Allah could have given him hoor. If that was all a man desired, then surely Allah would have given Adam, the first man, that? But He knew that the cure for Adam's loneliness was a partner. Someone to complete him.

Hawa, the first wife in Islam was meant to be a friend. There's narrations of Adam wanting to speak to the angels, but they were all busy and he had no one to speak to.

Allah gave him Hawa so that he would have a friend, not just someone to find pleasure in. A spouse is supposed to be a friend, someone you're at peace with. Someone you share love with.

﴿وَمِن آياتِهِ أَن خَلَقَ لَكُم مِن أَنفُسِكُم أَزواجًا لِتَسكُنوا إِلَيها وَجَعَلَ بَينَكُم مَوَدَّةً وَرَحمَةً إِنَّ في ذلِكَ لَآياتٍ لِقَومٍ يَتَفَكَّرونَ﴾

[Ar-Rûm: 21]

And it is among His signs that He has created for you wives from among yourselves, so that you may find tranquility in them, and He has created love and kindness between you. Surely in this there are signs for a people who reflect.

And here again, there is a duaa from the Quran.

﴿رَبَّنا وَأَدخِلهُم جَنّاتِ عَدنٍ الَّتي وَعَدتَهُم وَمَن صَلَحَ مِن آبائِهِم وَأَزواجِهِم وَذُرِّيّاتِهِم إِنَّكَ أَنتَ العَزيزُ الحَكيمُ﴾

[Ghâfir: 8]

"Oh Allah, and enter them into the gardens of Eden that You promised them, and whoever was righteous from among their ancestors, spouses, children - verily You are the Aziz, the Hakeem."

Why would we be taught duaas asking for our partners in Jannah if Islam didn't honor those relationships? We are literally being taught that love is forever - it's not till death do we part, it's till we meet again in Jannah (where we will be happy together forever).

We see how precious love is in the Prophets' lives. Ayoub was sick and lost everything but remained patient. When did he break down? When he saw his wife, whom he obviously loved, sell her hair for his sake (due to his chronic illness). Yusuf could have easily fallen into a mistake with the wife of the Aziz. He certainly had desires, he's a man. As a man and a Prophet of Allah, why shouldn't he able to do what he wants? If it's all that a man would need in Jannah, and that was all a woman was good for, then why wouldn't Allah allow it here? But he didn't- because Islam doesn't recognize sexual relations as a partnership. Lust isn't love, it's not a relationship. It's illegitimate. That doesn't change just because it's a man. Ibrahim didn't marry Hajar because he wanted another woman, he married her at Sarah's insistence- because she couldn't have a child.

Moreover, literally polygamy is not exclusive to Islam. Historically, Islam's "4 women" rule was to limit men from having too many spouses, not to allow them to go from 1 to 4. Many men at the time had more than one wife, some a lot more than one. Suddenly, they couldn't any more.

Finally, if Islam focused so much about the satisfaction of male desire, it would not have prohibited sexual relations outside of marriage and the family? Men have these desires but Islam came to put some ground rules. To tell them they couldn't just use women. That a relationship was about companionship, commitment, and responsibility. Islam prohibited so called "pleasure marriages" in which men would "marry" women temporarily to satisfy their desires and then divorce them after. Because that is antithetical to an Islamic relationship.

These things honor a man and woman's relationship. Please read the Quran and sunnah, and you'll discover how special love is between a man and a woman in Islam.

[rpd-rookie]

THE FOUR COMMANDMENTS FOR BEING S*X FRIENDS (Part 2) (LEON S. KENNEDY X READER) NSFW

Author’s note: Part 2 is here! Hope you won't be disappointed.

Summary: Being friends with benefits is not always easy. And so is respecting rules. The Fourth Commandment is down and now an eventful meeting in Leon's office dangerously challenges Commandment number three.

Tagged: Friends with Benefits / Friends to Lovers / Slow Burn / Mutual Pining / Smut / Jealousy / Denial of Feelings / Sexting etc.

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4

PART 2: YOU SHALL ALWAYS WEAR A CONDOM.

When you are a sexually active woman, you truly have one single fear: Not seeing your painful red friend making his monthly apparition, or in two very simple words, PREGNANCY SCARE. And that shit, my friends, makes all women afraid, the already-anxious ones and the forever-cool ones. That shit scares them as much as jumping out of a plane without a parachute, fighting a horde of starving BOWs with a butter knife or cutting your hair an inch too short (What? Hair is sacred! Ask Leon). And it scares them even more when their messed-up life can definitely not welcome a kid and/or when they’re not in a relationship with the possible father who, by the way, is standing right behind the door, pacing up and down outside the bathroom, stressing out even more than they are. “You’re okay in there?” No! “Yes.” Many women – if not most – already experienced this so-called pregnancy scare. And certainly all of them ended up just like you, sitting alone in their bathroom with a pregnancy test in their hands, hoping to see it come out as negative. It usually takes just a couple of minutes to know your fate, to know if in nine months the only person sucking at your breasts will be a little wrinkled milk-hungry creature and if you’ll spend the rest of your life being called ‘mommy’ without it sounding kinky af. But, in that precise moment, panties down and butt on the toilet bowl, you feel like this couple of minutes is the longest one of your life. It maybe is. So many things happen during those two minutes, so many thoughts start surging … and they are all terrible. During those two decisive minutes, you start praying all the gods for those two lines NOT to show up. God, Allah, Buddha, all of them! Then you look at your belly and mumble threats at whom you hope is not in there. Then you begin to think about how you’re going to handle this if there is actually someone in there. And then you blame your partner and eventually yourself (because it takes two to tango) to finally swear you’ll never have sex again while remembering how you got into this mess in the first place. But how did you get into this mess? You, dear reader, may wonder. Well, easy, classic, predictable. Because of a little condom problem and a BIG misunderstanding!

It was another day at the office. Boring, monotonous and definitely never-ending. The kind that makes you almost regret deadly action times shooting zombies. And it was only 11am or so. You had an endless amount of reports to analyse piled up on your desk and countless emails to answer to (most of them being from Ingrid Hunnigan) but your mind was elsewhere. Because even if it was another day at the office, it was that period of the month! No, not the unpleasant bloody one. The other one right before, the risky one that makes your boobs sensitive and your sex drive higher than Mount Everest when it should not be. Yeah you guessed it! Ovulation. And it was soaking your panties right now more than ever because your favourite snack was standing few steps away from you wearing that marine blue suit that brought out his eyes and his perfect butt beautifully and that you desperately wanted to tear off him, let’s say it. Gosh, Leon! Being such a hottie should be illegal.

He was certainly talking about something veeeery serious because his eyebrows were drawn together in a frown that showed he was struggling with an annoying difficult matter. But that was just making him ten times sexier. As if you needed that right now. You sighed, frustrated to witness such a sight without being able to properly enjoy it and instinctively rubbed your thighs together to sooth yourself. Bad idea! You thought as the sudden exquisite sensation that small friction gave you made you instantly pinch your lips together in a thin line and crave for your colleague/ exclusive sex friend (whatever that meant) even more. Eyes tightly shut; you blamed Leon so much in your head for turning you into such a wet mess. Fucking hell, Kennedy! You didn’t say it out loud but during a small second you wondered if you did because, when you opened your eyes again, tensed and likely very flustered (you could feel your cheeks burning), you suddenly realised Leon was staring at you with a genuinely amused and proud smile. Did he notice your arousal? Certainly. He didn’t need an instructions book to recognize it when he saw it. But was he going to do something about it? Well, not today apparently. And not because he was always so professional and didn’t want to mix work and privacy (He had fucked you in his office quite a couple times, once when he was sitting his chair, his wrists tied up to the armrests with his belt and his tie even) but because he seemed to be in the mood to tease you… to your (and your aching pussy’s) utter despair. Too bad for him, you knew how to play dirty as well.

Without thinking twice about it, you opened your drawer, while thanking your brain for being such a naughty genius sometimes, and took a rather large brown envelope on which you wrote Leon’s full name as well as the floor where his office was located, everything to make it look very professional and disguise the lustful surprise you were about to send him. Then you scanned your surroundings to see if anyone was watching you and when you realize it was safe, you discreetly rolled your wet panties down your legs to quickly place them in the envelope that you sealed away from possible prying eyes, with a proud cheeky smile on your face. Oh! You’re so no ready for this, Kennedy!

“Got any mail for me?” You slightly jumped and looked up, surprised but somewhat still thrilled by your mischief. Coffee Girl and her perfect sun-kissed skin was standing in front of your desk, her hands still on her mail trolley full of different envelopes and parcels of all sizes. “Emma, perfect timing!” It was half sarcastic, half honest. After all, you could definitely use a carrier pigeon right now. And with that awful grey turtleneck that didn’t suit her skin tone at all, Amy The Coffee Girl looked like the perfect bird. “It’s Amy.” She mumbled almost inaudibly and you pretended you didn’t hear. You knew it was Amy. You just didn’t want to make an effort. “You seem to be in a very good mood today.” “Indeed.” You handed her your envelope, smiling from ear to ear with so much exaggeration you wondered how she couldn’t tell it was 100% fake. “Can you bring this to Agent Kennedy for me?” “Sure. No problem.” She was so cheerful and so excited – and so eager to see Leon - it almost made you want to hurl on her hideous pigeon-like outfit. But before she could take the envelope in her perfectly manicured talons … huh … hands you took it back. A new genius idea had suddenly popped up into your head. Damn brain! You’re too kind today. “Wait! I almost forgot.” You took your pen and immediately drew a smirking smiley face next to Leon’s name, one similar to the winking faces Coffee Girl would draw on Leon’s daily coffee cups but slightly more audacious of course. What? You, mean? No, you were just being cute! Amy-The-Coffee-Girl kinda cute even! And truth was, it could have been worse. In fact, before drawing a smirking face, you had thought about drawing an aubergine or a chilli pepper but that would have made the sexual nature of your relationship with Leon 100% too obvious. “There. Now you can give it to him.” Amy’s face crumpled – along with her dreams to date Leon - when she spotted the tiny emoji but she said nothing. “Thank you, Emmy.” Instead, she just turned around, trying to stretch her lips into a soft smile while muttering an unclear goodbye. Yeah, sorry Coffee Girl but a girl’s got to mark her territory when she sees competition. And even if Leon and I are just “exclusive sex friends” that agent and his cock are still mine!

Speaking of… Look who finally took a moment to text you!

You obviously didn’t answer his last text, getting a perverse yet fair satisfaction from leaving Leon in the dark. But what got you the most exited was not visualizing his confusion after reading this last text but imagining his reaction when he would eventually open your envelope and find your naughty gift inside of it. You giggled, wishing you were a fly on the wall of his office to see him, as you dared picture his surprise in your head. His gorgeous blue eyes widening in shock. His sharp cheeks getting slightly red. The curse escaping his lips. The sudden cough as he’s almost choking. The composure he’s trying to keep while fidgeting on his chair a little. And obliviously … the arousal growing in his pants.

It took everything in you not to leave your desk and run to Leon’s office immediately, refusing your womanhood to use the amazing hard-on he would eventually soon get in spite of her wet cries. And honestly, it’s a miracle you managed to wait after noon.

But when the clock stroke sex time … huh … lunch time, you rushed to Leon’s office as fast as your skin tight skirt and stilettos allowed you to, annoyed by the sound of your heels taping quickly like a furious desperate metronome on the marble floor and by the humid ache between your naked thighs. “Hello Ingrid.” You smiled at her and she looked at you with rather suspicious and exasperated eyes. She probably knew about you and Leon and the naughty ‘ministrations’ you occasionally gave each other. Thankfully, she was certainly too polite and respectful to say a word. “Is Agent Kennedy in here?” “He is. Did you get my e-mails by the way?” “I did, yes.” Sorry, Ingrid no time for work. And you opened the door to Leon’s office without, unannounced and perhaps a bit too enthusiastically considering the fact that the knob escaped your hand and the door almost slammed open.

However, despite your storming entrance, you were surprised to see Leon tranquilly sitting at his desk, imperturbable, buried in his work and with no trace of panties-filled envelope anywhere around him. Well, it’s not like he could let it lie around, you supposed. “You could have knocked, Agent Y/LN. I might have been busy.” How formal! Is he in the mood for some kinky roleplay? You hoped so. After all, you had never tried the experienced superior/ rookie agent one before. And his office seemed perfect for it. “It’s lunch break.” Your voice sounded like a purr and so Leon looked up at you. But unlike what you expected, he looked very serious and professional. He glanced at the clock on the wall. “I’m afraid I won’t have time to eat. I have a lot of work to catch up on.” He declared as he focused on his reports again, ignoring your presence and the reason why you were here. It was certainly part of the game, you believed. “Really? It’s not usually your style to be late on your work.” You slightly smirked as you thought of the reason why he might be (if he truly was of course). Somehow the reason looked like a firm hand around one hell of a hard shaft and flustered sweaty skin. Hot! “Well, I received a lot of files and mails this morning. And one of them demanded my attention for quite a lot of time.” A lot of time, huh? You bit your lower lip, feeling a new delicious sensation building in your already very sensitive lower area. Oh come on don’t be allusive and jump to the point, Kennedy! Or better yet … Jump me! “Hard work?” You chose to follow him in his little game by using a very classic sexual pun. Surely Leon would get it and keep playing. He loved to play. “Something about Los Illuminados, again.” Wait what? You frowned, confused. And just like that the delicious tension inside of you was gone, just like dust in the wind or like an amazing hard-on that disappears after a man starts thinking about his mum. Poof!

You couldn’t believe what you were experiencing right now and for a second you honestly thought about pinching yourself to wake yourself up. Los Illuminados, really? This had to be a joke. He couldn’t talk about them right now? What about los wet pantiesos that you sent? That’s more spicy than any Spanish cult for sure! Unless… he didn’t get them? “I can’t believe I have to deal with this shit again.” Leon sighed. He didn’t look like he got them. “Oh.” That was all you could say even if an angry voice was screaming inside your head “where the fuck is that envelope?” “You’re okay, Y/N?” Leon questioned, clearly wondering what was wrong with you. “You seem quite … agitated” “Yes, yes … I just … I thought.” Okay, it’s time to ask. “Didn’t you get my mail like an hour ago?” Leon squinted at you. He genuinely seemed like he had no idea what you were talking about. “I gave it to Amy. A brown envelope. That big.” You continued hoping the description of the said envelope would ring a bell. It didn’t. And Leon shook his head, sorry. “No. But I got your texts. And for a second I thought that’s why you were here.” He put his pen on his desk and sat up straight, his back against the back of desk chair to eye at you with intense curiosity and yet with deep seriousness. “Well, yes and no.” You mumbled. “ Seriously, you really didn’t get anything?” Leon shrugged and you couldn’t help but be angry. If he didn’t get your envelope, that meant … “The jealous little bitch!” Coffee-girl’s gonna regret this! “Excuse me?” The man scoffed, unsure if he had heard properly. “Nevermind. I’ll leave you to work. Do you want me to bring you anything to eat from the cafeteria?” Despite the wetness still soaking your inner thighs, you weren’t in the mood for some random sexy time over his desk. However amazing that could be, this wasn’t why you had come here. No, you had come here to hear him talk about your damn panties and all the things he did because of them … No, correction! All the things he did to them. You had come here to see all the sexual frustration this ridiculous piece of fabric had awaken in Leon and use it to your own benefit. Guess, you’ll be cleverer next time ... and maybe less cocky. “I’m okay. Thank you.”

“Y/N” Leon called you out before you exited his office. You turned around with a disappointed look. What? You wanna talk about your dear Illuminados, Leon? “You might wanna put your panties back on before going though.” Your jaw dropped and you stared at him, surprised and almost pissed. Did he really…? The fucking bastard! “So you got my gift.” You harrumphed pointing your finger at him. “I got your gift.” He smirked, definitely very proud and amused, and you didn’t know if you wanted to slap that freaking smile of his perfect pretty face or just forgive him for playing you because he was very attractive when he smirked like this. Option B it is for now. We’ll do Option A later. “Did you like it?” You asked, cheekily. “As a matter of fact, it was rather … frustrating.” You bet it was! That was the whole purpose. “Frustrating good or frustrating bad?” Leon got up from his chair and slowly approached you, staring at you with such incredible intensity it rooted you to the spot. “Frustrating good. But frustrating nevertheless… So, it’s a good thing you’re here.” He was radiating so much dominance and confidence it was insane. His blue eyes were dark and avid, as if he wanted to eat you whole. Maybe he did. And he was close from you, so close he suddenly looked crazily tall and impressive. But despite the strange exiting impression of being like a trapped prey, you sighed and held his stare, weirdly ready … no, eager to have him… no, eager for him. This sudden feeling of inferiority and submission was far for unpleasant. It was arousing on the contrary.

Leon’s hot breath caressed your ear and very soon you sensed his hand going under your skirt to dangerously approach your pussy. You immediately gasped and shivered when his soft yet slightly calloused fingertips brushed your wet rosy lips. “Is that what you want?” He whispered and you nodded, unable to pronounce anything else but a muffled moan as Leon quickly found his way to your swollen clit. He was so damn good at this. Too good maybe. But that’s why you had chosen him to be your sex friend. “So wet for me.” One of his finger plunged inside of you and immediately curled to make you cry out his name. Your jaw clenched tight to keep any suspicious sound mute. You didn’t want anyone to hear what was going on in Leon’s office. Exhibitionism is alright but not at work. “Do you want more?” Leon asked as he looked you deep in your desire-filled eyes. “Yes, Agent Kennedy.” You moaned and immediately witnessed his dominance reached its peak. With a growl, his hand abruptly left your inner thighs and he turned you around. He pressed his firm chest against your back and rolled your skirt up your thighs briefly cup your pussy while biting your neck. “I hope you’re ready for this.” You were. You had been ready all morning to be honest. And you couldn’t wait anymore. “Just give it to me please.” You didn’t have to beg another time because Leon immediately pushed all the stuff on his desk away with one single rough move to press you against the hard wood, his firm hand now on your back holding you flat on your stomach. “ What? No more foreplay?” You managed to giggle as you heard him struggling with his belt and trousers from behind you. He was definitely being impatient and you loved it. “Foreplay is for good girls. And we both know you didn’t behave the way you did to be fucked like a good girl.” Leon declared with a sudden husky voice that made you fidget on the desk. “Plus you’re already soaking wet and I’m freaking hard so why wait?” You tried to look at him, eager to see the frustration you had created turning into dominant impulses he couldn’t seem to be able to control any longer. But Leon quickly grabbed your hair and pushed your face back against the desk. “Don’t move!” Part of you wanted to disobey but you chose to please him and so you remained still. “My little panties really riled you up, didn’t they?” You mocked. You were so proud of yourself. “You’ve no fucking idea.” He growled as he furiously threw the wrapping of a condom on his desk. Glad to know he still thought about Commandment number 3 even in such rough times. “What did you do with them? Did you jerk off while smelling them? Or did you put them in your mouth to muffle your moans?” You wanted to know. You needed to know. You needed to hear him say it. Even now, especially now, with his penis slapping against your ass. “Is that what you imagined I would do when you put them in that envelope.” His penis was sliding between your soaking lips now. “Did you?” You grabbed hold of the desk and tried to block a new moan when you finally felt Leon going entirely inside of you with one single move, stretching your velvety warm walls that had begged for his presence for too long. “I did not put them in my mouth but yes I smelled them.” He told you as he took an immediate rough yet slow pace, fucking you hard with all the strength he had and all the pent-up frustration your naughtiness had spawned in his pants. “How did they smell?” You wanted more of his dirty confession. You desired all the details. They were so exiting, so arousing. “Like you. Delicious.” You mewled, enjoying every word coming out of his mouth even more than his shaft inside of you and that one was quite good, let me tell you. “ And then what did you do?” And it seemed Leon liked this little conversation as well, considering his powerful enthusiastic hammering. “ Then I spat on my cock and jerked off while imagining you sitting on my face.” Sitting on his face? Note to yourself: Got to do that later. “Shit.” You cursed as you pressed your ass more against him to

help him reach that secret spot deep inside of you that was aching to be hit. “And?” Leon “ Then I came … so … fucking … hard.” He growled the words between hard precise thrusts, while holding you by the hair to keep you still and flat against his desk. You could tell by his brutality he was getting close. You were getting close too. “And where did you cum?” You questioned, enjoying the fact you and your little panties had managed to make him do all those dirty things. “On them?” You hoped so. You wanted your damn underwear covered in his thick white cum. You wanted them soiled and sticky. “ Fuck yeah. I came on them.” You mewled after this sexy revelation that made your walls flutter around Leon’s throbbing cock. Fuck, you were a mess! But you wanted more. You could take more. “And what did you imagine while cumming?” You had your idea but you wished to hear it. “I imagined I was cumming on your pussy.” Liar! “On … or in?” You wanted the truth, the dirty truth. You wanted his undisclosed desire, the fantasy he didn’t want to admit he had. You wanted him to give it to you, raw and honest while he was brutally pounding you from behind. “ In.” Leon finally confessed as he almost climbed on top you, putting one of his legs on his desk to go deeper inside of you, something you believed impossible until you felt his balls right against your soaking entrance. Fuck, that felt amazing. “ Of course you did …” You guided your fingers to your clit and started to rub it furiously. You wanted to cum right now, to cum around him, to wet him with all the juice you kept inside of you. Yeah! You wanted to fucking squirt around him. “Cause you’d love to—“ your walls suddenly tensed hard and Leon gasped. “ Fuck, Y/N. Wait.” He begged, between pleasure and another emotion you failed to analyse as you were that close to burst like a firework. “I think I… The—” You felt Leon trying to pull out. You didn’t want him to pull out. Not when you were that close to cumming around his cock. You managed to arch your back and pressed yourself against his body, your hand around the nape of his neck to keep him against you. He brutally shut up to growl in your shoulder. “— come inside of me.” You purred in his ear. “You sure about that?” His cock was so good in this position you started to roll your hips against him to feel every inch of it everywhere inside of you. “I know you want it. Don’t lie.” And so he grabbed your thigh and resumed his wild pace, pumping in and out so hard and so fast it was difficult to remain somewhat silent. You touched your swollen clit again to chase that orgasm your desired so much again. You moaned Leon’s name, mewled it as you begged him to go harder, deeper, to just fuck you. But when you finally felt the flood inside of you menacing to spurt, something unexpected happened, something that made you push Leon out of you so fast but still too late. A thick sticky sensation splashing your walls that scared you so much and made you panic like never before.

And this is how your pregnancy scare was born. Still fail to understand what really happened? All right, let me rewind. Here you are on that desk getting pounded by your formidable lover, quite dizzy and that close to squirt around his marvellous cock. You’re telling Leon about his secret dirty desires for a creampie because you know he secretly wants one. Your agent may be a good boy but he can be naughty too. Meanwhile, Leon, close to reach cloud nine as well, is trying to tell you the condom broke. He hears you blabbering about his cum in your pussy but his pleasure makes everything you say so blurry. Therefore, when you actually say “--come inside of me” he suddenly believes that’s what you want and loses his freaking mind. And bang! Actual creampie! Warning! Baby! Warning! Baby! Pregnancy scare!

And now that you know everything you need to know, we can finally go back inside our bathroom, with our panties down and our naked butt on the toilet bowl, but two never-ending minutes after peeing on that damn pregnancy test.

“You are not pregnant.” You whisper the order to yourself as if it would change anything to the situation and eventually look down at the test. One bar. One bar? “I’m not pregnant?” Your eyes widen at the blue symbol on the pee-covered test (yuck!) and you quickly search for the empty box to read what it means again. “I’m not pregnant!” You jump off the bowl, definitely happy and relieved to know that there’s no unwanted miniature (though undoubtedly cute and beautiful) version of both Leon and you growing inside of your womb and almost fall flat on your face when you trip on your lowered jeans and underwear. You land on your knees. “Fuck!” You grumble loudly. It’s going to leave a nasty bruise but you don’t give a shit. You’re not pregnant! Pop open the champagne and let’s get drunk! “What’s going on?” You hear the sound of Leon’s worried voice from outside the bathroom followed by an unsure knock on the door. “Y/N?” You get up and struggle to pull up your jeans, hopping like a funny bunny definitely looking forward to tell Leon the only person who’s going to call him daddy is still gonna be you. “It’s okay. We’re okay.” And just like that you generate another big misunderstanding without realising it, but this time it is way bigger than the previous one and it blows up to Leon’s face and turns him into a frozen terrified silent mess in the corridor. “ Leon? Are you alright?” He doesn’t answer and you open the door to find him rooted to the spot, his face pale and grave. “Did you hear me?” “ I’ll be there for you, Y/N.” You frown. Wait, what? “Whatever you decide.” Your eyes widen. Is he? “If you want to keep it …” “ I’M NOT PREGNANT!” You stop him right there. This not a conversation you need to have and definitely not one you want to hear. And it’s Leon’s turn to frown. “ But you just said ‘we’re okay’. So, I assumed— ” You cut him off quickly. “I meant you and I, us … even if there’s no real us but you get the idea.” Leon nods but you see in his frown that he feels a bit uncomfortable. And he has all right to be. You don’t escape paternity the way he just did every day. “ Well, that’s relief I guess.” “ Yeah.” You smile but your smile is weak. You don’t really feel like smiling anymore for the atmosphere feels really heavy and almost suffocating right now. “Beer?” You offer. Maybe alcohol will ease the tension. It usually always does. “Got anything stronger?” You approve with another faint smile and goes to the kitchen to pour Leon a glass of fine whisky you bought especially for Leon few weeks ago. But as you prepare his drink, you can’t help but think about what Leon said. You don’t know how to get rid of his words and of the question it spawned in your head. And you hate that feeling. You hate this atmosphere. So you grab another glass and pour yourself some amber alcohol as well. You don’t really like it but you feel like you need it.

When you finally joins Leon in the living room to hand him the beverage, you sit right next to him with your glass between your hands, staring at the liquid slightly stirring in the glass. “Where you serious before?” You sense Leon’s confused eyes on you but you can’t look at him. “Would you have been there for me if the test had come out positive and I had decided to keep the baby?” “Of course.” He takes a sip of his drink and you glanced at him. He looks more relaxed than you, which is very unusual considering you’re always more carefree than him.“ You seem surprised.” “ I’m not. I know you always do the right thing but … I guess I’m just … I guess I never imagined you changing diapers… Not with me at least.” This is not what you really want to say but it’s better. Leon scoffs and puts his glass on the coffee table. “No, you’re too busy imagining me jerking off in your panties.” You blush, weirdly uncomfortable. Talking about sex doesn’t usually makes you uneasy but you don’t really feel like being cheeky right now. “That’s all right. I like you like that. It’s refreshing, makes me feel good.” He smiles and so do you. You’re glad to hear that. “But yeah, I would have changed diapers with you Y/N even if I doubt fatherhood is something made for me.” “Oh puh-lease, Kennedy! You excel at everything you do. I saw you way too many times in action to know this. I’m sure you’d be a wonderful father.” Leon can’t prevent himself from smiling; genuinely happy to hear you compliment him even though he’s sure the part about him being an amazing father is probably wrong. Someone taught him to be a good agent. But no one taught him to be a good father, especially not his. He sighs and takes back his drink to have a new mouthful of his whisky, a big one this time, big enough to empty the glass. And it makes you suddenly very worried about him. “It still scared the shit out of me.” Leon admits and you see his fear darkening his bright eyes. “It scared the shit out of me too.” You confess as you instinctively take his hand in yours to comfort him.

Leon slightly jumps at the sudden attention and immediately eyes at your fingers, at your thumb softly caressing his skin and he suddenly feels better. He looks back at you and you see all his apprehension going away. But then you realise he just intertwined his fingers with yours and you can’t help but get scared. You urgently pull away and immediately grab your glass. Not that you want to drink. It’s more like an excuse to let go of him. “Which makes me think—“ You drink a very long gulp to give you time to think about what you’re going to say. Goodness, this alcohol is really disgusting. “Maybe I should take the pill from now on.” Yes, not the best change of conversation but honestly you have genuinely been thinking about it for a few days, since that dangerous quickie in Leon’s office to be more precise. “ I don’t want to force you—“ Fuck! Can he be more perfect? “You’re not. It’s my decision. I’ll feel safer if I do.” One pregnancy scare is enough. “Okay.” Leon nods.

A heavy silence rapidly settles between the two of you. “Something’s troubling you.” That man really notices everything! Especially when it comes to you. How does he do that? Maybe he should tell his secret to your future significant other … if you manage to find one someday that is. “I can’t hide anything from you, can’t I?” You try to sound funny. It kinda works because Leon smiles again. “Alright … Remember The First Commandment?” And you can’t believe you’re about to do what you’re about to do. “ Always speak your mind, especially your sex mind.” “ Exactly. Well —“ You sigh deeply, trying to gather your courage. You can feel your heart accelerate in your chest and when your start speaking, your voice is trembling. “I know it’s probably not a good timing but … in spite of the recent fear and all, I think I really enjoyed—“ Come on, just say it Y/N. He’s heard worse from you. “­—feeling you cum inside of me.” Leon’s eyes widen in surprise. “That’s quite a revelation.” And you don’t really know how to read him right now. Is it a good surprise? Or a bad one? Please let it be a good one. “I know I shouldn’t think that right now because we just avoided diapers and insomnias but … But I thought that, since I’m gonna be on birth control, we could stop using condoms… If you agree of course.” You feel like you’re blabbering and you hate it so much. Anxiety is not something you’re really used to handle just like heavy silences. Please, Leon. Just say something. “You must think I’m irresponsible right now. Forget I asked. ” “I really enjoyed it too, Y/N.” He finally says but you have the impression a ‘but’ is coming. “But—“ Bingo! “—it goes against the Third Commandment, doesn’t it?” Yes, the third commandment aka ‘You shall always wear a condom.’ “ It does. But since we’re ‘exclusive sex friend’ like you said, I don’t think we really needs condoms anymore … So, I’m ready to annul that rule if you are too.” He doesn’t hesitate. Not even a fucking second and with a soft smile, he just declares “We still have two other commandments.” “We still have two other commandments.”

[sisterssafespace]

Dear sister,

We are looking for a suitable match for my elder sister. We've had a horrible incidence earlier ending with calling off the wedding last year. My parents started the search again. We've met more than 15 families until now, not bragging but none of them rejected my sister. Our utmost priority is a deeni family, for instance if the family faces any kind of crisis they would resort it with Islamic solution and not just lose hope on Allah.

So we met a family yesterday, we had lunch together. Considering just for this dunya, the family was very simple, friendly, social kind of people, they like to explore new culture and easily get along with people different religion and they have grown up in a diverse culture, which is very different in our case we are not very conservative family but tries to follow as much sunnah as possible. Me and my sister now more focused towards our Akhirah and it is like if anything happens, we need someone to keep reminding us of Allah not just take us for shopping or car drive. We are quiet sensitive kind of girls, especially my sister after she has gone through an abusive engagement, she is a little paranoid.

And as far as my parents our concerned, even they are not very satisfied but they fear if we keep rejecting like this we won't be able to find a good match after a certain age, as my sister has turned 28. And it is quite difficult to get good options after certain age in India. They are trying to speak to our relatives to get more clarity to which my relatives who we can absolutely rely on says, maybe my sister might become the means of guidance to their path of Islam.

The boy says he is very flexible with everything, he doesn't have a problem with my sister taking hijab. He is not very regular with Salah though he tries, he said(only Allah knows the truth)

His mother(who absolutely loved my sister) has quite a liberal thinking, she kept saying we have to keep our duniya going along with deen, which in a way is correct but keeping dunya on a back foot and deen on a front foot is how we try function. She even forcefully got their numbers exchanged by the end of lunch. Although the boy was sensible enough and knew it won't be appropriate, so he just gave his number and asked to text him only if my sister feels comfortable.

My only concern is kids follows their parents path, for instance my mother has to taught us to give Sadqah every single day and I don't know if they follow such basic things. I know I shouldn't be too quick in judging but I feel they lack basic essence of Islam. I mean is the boy getting married for the sake of marriage or does he realizes the importance of this Sunnah.

Salam sweet one,

I could feel the worry and the concern in your words, Allahuma barik you sound very very attached to your deen and you sound ( as you sister ) like you have got your priorities in the right order, Allahuma barik lakunna ✨

Hmm, where to start? I will re-use the hadith of our Prophet ﷺ about the most suitable man to marry:

The Messenger of Allah said: "When someone whose religion and character you are pleased with proposes to (someone under the care) of one of you, then marry to him. If you do not do so, then there will be turmoil (Fitnah) in the land and abounding discord (Fasad)."

So character and deen (which are two sides of the same coin) are extremely important, which means that valuing and giving so much importance to the deen is your right, you are not crazy, you are not delusional (like what this modern day society would consider, AstaghfiruAllah). I can relate because I come from a very liberal society that considers Islam in 5 words: Faith is in the heart (an internal matter). 🤦🏽‍♀️ So I do understand your dilemma. Allahu al mustaān. However, the common and basic solution to this is to pray Istikhara? I hope your sister is already doing that, she should pray it often and not just once and pray that Allah swt guides her to the right decision. I know it has been a systematic answer to any marriage-related question or issues but because that's the way the sunnah teaches us. When confused or in need to make a decision, we have to ask Allah swt to choose for us or guide us to the right choice, and shield us from the choice that is bad and harmful for us, our duniya, and our deen.

Maybe I have spoken more generally, but, I have two specific remarks: I don't think you need me to mention how compulsory and important prayer (on time) is, some scholars go to even condemn the person who doesn't pray a non-Muslim, so if your sister values prayer and can't see herself marrying a guy who is not committed to his prayer then it is her absolute right, if it is a deal breaker for her, to say no to this guy. She should have her boundaries clear.

My second remark is also related to sth you spoke about, how kids tend to follow the footsteps of their parents, well, in the same way, the wife often tends to be influenced by her husband. In my real life I have known a lot of cases where the girl would be more religious than her partner and after marriage, she changes (to please him or being fully convinced, Allahu aālam), and it goes both ways, if the husband is more religious, eventually, she will be influenced by him as well. And even in the best case scenario, where he won't influence her to change and loosen her principals and be more flexible, if she still held on tightly to her deen, marital problems will eventually stem between them, from her built up frustration towards him, or disappointment, or displeasure, or dissatisfaction or whatnot, la qaddar Allah (God forbid). I am not trying to deepen your concern nor your sister's paranoia, I am just trying to make you consider all scenarios. But at the end of the day, it's Allah's will and plan that work. Allah swt says be and it is. If He swt has planned that this is the perfect fit for your sister and that she will be the reason for his guidance and his commitment to his deen, then that's what's going to happen. Nothing is impossible for Allah swt.

Nevertheless, there is this famous saying in Law :

ما بُني على باطل فهو باطل

What is built on falsehood is false.

I want you to tell your sister to make sure that she won't marry this guy or anyone else FOR THE WRONG REASONS, be it her age (rolling my eyes, 28 is fine!!!!!!!), The parental pressure, someone's financial status, etc etc.. The day she decides to marry someone, it should be for the right reasons and she should be clear on her understanding of marriage and on her goals, expectations, plans, everything. We tend to rush into marriage because that's what people do and because everyone around us is getting married. A lot of people get married, that's correct, but only few of them understand the meaning of a partnership, a companionship in the path of Allah swt, a wordly journey towards Jannah with someone you share a life with, responsibilities with, kids with, heartbreaks with, losses with, deaths of loved ones with, sicknesses and struggles and calamities with, etc. You really have to carefully choose the person who is up for that! If you were going on a road trip, somewhere far far away, and you knew it would get uncomfortable and scary, you knew the trip will be very challenging, and you were allowed to take only one person with you, wouldn't you want to carefully choose that person? What would be the criteria to choose? Think about it.. Do you see my point? May Allah swt make it easy for All of us.

Finally, I pray your sister finds her peace and makes the right choice. Tell her to listen to her gut. Oftentimes, in these matters of marriage, when you know you know, if she felt at peace around him, then probably there's something there worth pursuing, in spite of everything. And may Allah swt ease all her affairs and yours, and grant you both the righteous spouse that knows your worth and puts his Deen first. And tell her not to worry about the age and whatnot, a spouse is a risq from Allah swt Ar-Razzaq, and He will grant her her risq when the right time comes. In shaa Allah.

To conclude, I will leave you with this beautiful duaa that Musa (as) said, and then Allah swt rewarded him with a righteous spouse:

رَبِّ إِنِّي لِمَا أَنْزَلْتَ إِلَيَّ مِنْ خَيْرٍ فَقِيرٌ

rabbi innee lima anzalta ilayya min khayrin faqeerun

'O my Lord, surely I have need of whatever good You send me.'

- A. Z. 🍃

[b-lessings]

My sweet sweet girl, I just saw your other ask and I won't be sharing so I came back to this one! There are a lot of ways to tackle this and start my answer with, a lot of perspectives and points to make, I had them all organized in my head but at a second reading to your first ask, only one thing came up: LOVE YOURSELF.

(now I know it's easier said than done but bear with me)

If your younger sister or cousin or your best friend came to you with the exact same heart break and said the exact same words you anonymously confessed to me, what would you have done? Would you have seen her as a 'fool', 'stupid' and 'naive' (your words), would you have 'screamed at her face I told you so ' with all the anger in the world? would you feel disappointed in her? would you look at her in this heartwrenching state of weakness and defeat just to kick her further down? Of course not! You can't! It's not even an option! What you would do in a similar situation is you would wrap this girl in a tight hug, and soothingly rub her back, you'd even rock her softly back and forth until she cries it all our in your arms, wipe her tears and kiss her temple. And you'll tell her "It's okay, it's over now, you are okay, you are safe, I'm here for you."

So where I wanna go with this is the following: This anger you are directing at yourself? That's more dangerous and more harmful to you than what you have gone through. I am no expert but the steps to healing start with acknowledging what happened, accepting it did happen, and forgiving yourself. And if you can't do that right now, at least start with showing her EMPATHY. But I promise you, what happened was never your fault. I strongly believe that whoever hurt you is/ are super manipulative to the point that they'd make you not only feel guilty and responsible but also carry the guilt for so long afterward while they are out there free, enjoying their life and probably chasing another victim. You need to put the correct labels on the characters, who's the villain and who's the victim. Trust me, by still blaming yourself, they are still winning, they are still exercising their power over you, even if they are out of your life, and you could never escape their trap this way. So let's start by destroying this pattern, breaking their spell, FREEING YOURSELF because SHE doesn't deserve this torture, so STAND UP for her! End her pain, Save her! Free her! But most importantly, forgive her, Love her!

I don't want to make this long but another major point I have to bring up to your attention sis: It is the Lord of the worlds, the earth and the skies who has loved you immensely, created you in such a beautiful image, gave you the sweetest purest soul, gave you a smart brain, an infinity of blessings, your soul has a whiff of HIS SACRED spirit : فَإِذَا سَوَّيْتُهُ وَنَفَخْتُ فِيهِ مِنْ رُوحِي فَقَعُوا لَهُ سَاجِدِينَ ﴿٢٩﴾ “When I have proportioned him, and breathed into him of My spirit, fall down in prostration to him.” (Quran 15:29)

Oh dear sister, please think about that, ALLAH swt gave you that soul, so please stop torturing it! Can you still wrong it and treat it dryly and harshly after hearing this? Just take a moment to ponder on this point.

Anyways, I think I got carried away, I hope you see this my dear, and I am here if you wanna take this further. I think we have already spoken in the DMs before, but even if we haven't.... my DMs are open for you. In Shaa Allah Kheir..

*Wraps you in a tight hug*

How do you let go of something you know is slowly tearing you apart, but you still can’t seem to let go of in one self-destructive and disappointing way?

You SEE the POINT. You SEE the BIGGER PICTURE. You SEE the Truth.

I'm at work now dear, I just saw this and I didn't wanna put you on hold because I felt all the pain in your ask, but in shaa Allah as soon as I finish my shift I will get back to you with a soothing answer, I promise.