#as you can see i'm having a real normal one tonight again fellas

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

my beautiful son who Hates when i look at him

[howtodisappearcompletelyand]

20/10 stars little guy

[jimjamthehorrorman]

Unconditional Love

This was the first time you let the big man in the mask around your dog. You were anxious because she was jumpy and you don't know how HE will react to HER.

You bought a beautiful Husky three years ago, prior to your move to Texas. You wanted a "guard dog" but you ended up with a sassy, lazy dog who steals crackers from the counter when you aren't looking. She's absolutely a sweetheart to everyone she meets in your little town, but she is afraid of masks and intimidating people. Halloween is her least favorite time of year and everyone knows because while you're handing out candy to the few kids around, there's a deep bellowing bark coming from the windows on your porch.

You met the Sawyers when you picked up a side job at their gas and barbeque shack about thirteen miles down the way. Drayton was a blessing, overly polite and insistent upon you working as little as possible.

"Y/N, you oughta head on home now and get you some rest you're looking awful weak."

"No, I'm alright! I've only got about an hour left and I wanted to lock up with you-" you felt as weak as he thinks you look. You'd been sick all day, lightheaded and spiraling. "-It's fine, I'm fine!"

Drayton looked you up and down.

"Alright. Just don't come crying to me when I catch you sleeping on the job!" He chuckled as he started taking the meat off of the hooks inside the glass case.

"Taking it home to the family?" He never talked about his family and you were curious. You could not keep yourself from asking. Everything was such a mystery, hell, you didn't even know the man who sat outside washing the cars that came for gas.

He stuttered, holding the back of his neck like a child caught in a lie. "H-Ha! I've got to feed grandpa and my brothers. They usually go hunting for their meat but no one can resist my barbeque! It's the best meat-" He smiled coyly. "-Anyhow, you need to head on home young m/w. I've got my brother coming up to pick up some firewood from behind the shack. He's a skittish fella and not real good at talkin so I don't want to embarrass him. Now head on out! Tomorrow we'll make a big jar of Sun Tea to sell and I'll save some for us. It's gonna be hot as hell out!"

He nearly shoved you out the door. It's obvious either you looked like you were DYING or he had a BIG SECRET to hide.

"Alright, I'll head out. Tell the boys I said hello!"

He smiled and shut the door behind you. You started to hop in your truck and realized your keys were still inside.

"Shit."

You tried to slide in the backdoor before Drayton saw you were there, but getting back out of the truck you felt awful dizzy and fell to the ground on the way in. You felt yourself falling in and out of consciousness and the as you finally start to lose the battle, you hear a rattling.

You lose the fight and the next thing you remember is waking to the face of a dissapointed and fuzzy Drayton helping you out of your own truck with a man with a very deformed face, but maybe it was just your eyes.

The deformed man was incredibly tall and squealed like a child as he sat you on the porch swing. He patted your face to try to fully wake you. A man with a strange mark on his face drove Drayton's truck all the way here.

"What a fall huh?! Rough fall, hard fall. You must be tired or something. He/Her/They must be dying. Looks sick, pale like Grandpa."

"Nubbins, you and Bubba help Y/N into the house. They're my best employee so you better not screw this one up! If you drop them I'll beat the tar out of you fools!"

You could tell Drayton was serious. Who knew he appreciated you that much.

Barking eminated from the house. A horrible screech. You knew that sound.

"DON'T OPEN THE DOOR!"

"What?" Drayton looked confused.

"I'll go in on my own. I'll go lay down don't worry about me. Thanks boys I really appreciate the help but you can't come in. I've got a dog that might eat you alive!" You hurriedly told them, finding your way to the door in the dark. "I'll see you tomorrow Drayton! I'll see you boys again sometime soon!"

They all stood in disbelief on the porch as you slammed the door and turned the light on so they could get to the truck safely. Your dog met you at the door and she was PISSED. Not only did you keep her from seeing guests, but you're late and she's hungry.

"Sorry -pet name-, I'll get you some food."

You poured the bag of kibble quickly and clumsily, half of it on the floor. She could tell you were off and after she ate she climbed up on the couch and laid beside you. It was a long night for you both.

---

It had been two weeks since the incident, Drayton laughs it off that he went through all the trouble to take you home and make sure you were safe. Perhaps he had invested interest in your health, perhaps he had no friends but you and the gas guy. Either way he appreciated you. A lot.

"Y/N, I'm making dinner tonight do you want to back here this evenin'? Now you don't have to come, and you don't have to feel pressured to come over but I wanted to have you over. Just remember to feed your vicious pup before you come!" He chuckled, clearly nervous.

Shit, does Drayton like you?

"Now don't you worry this isn't a romantic thing, no, my brothers and I wanted you over to be sure you're eating good. You living there alone, you ought to have you a good meal!"

He wants you to come back to the gas station for dinner? What's wrong with his house? Doesn't matter, you won't turn down homemade food. You've been living off of cheap pot pies and snack foods. Your stomach rumbles at the thought of fresh steak and vegetables.

"I'll be here! Don't you worry." As the words escape your lips he gives you a huge smile and waves you off.

You feed your pup, give her a good pet and head out the door.

The sound of sizzling comes from the kitchen, but Drayton is sitting beside you.

"Who's our chef tonight, Drayton?"

He looks at you smiling ear to ear.

"My youngest brother Bubba wanted to make sure you eat well. He felt so bad about you being sick and all that he made you something special."

The boy with the strange birthmark comes out of the back room smiling. He's so strange and erratic that it's almost comedic.

"Bubba makes good food! Normally Drayton is 'The Cook' but tonight me and Bubba made some good meat! Not quite headcheese or anything real tasty but we got some good uh.. some good steaks! Yeah steaks!"

You laugh. Drayton makes a face at him real fast thinking you didn't see. You did.

Your stomach growls, the smell from the tiny kitchen is alluring. Savory, like good meat with flavorful spices.

"Nubbins go tell your brother our guest is getting hungry! I knew I shoulda made dinner you two bafoons!"

Nubbins blows a raspberry at Drayton and runs into the kitchen, he yells at Bubba and you hear a grumble.

Nubbins returns a moment later with a bunch of full plates. Steaks, potatoes, greens, hell even a pan of brownies. As you're perusing the food, a large man in a painted mask and suit comes walking out of the kitchen, barely clearing the door frame.

He's looking you over and honestly you aren't sure if you're frightened or bashful. A tall and burly man just made you dinner and yet you sit in silence trying to make out the face behind the mask. When he sits down across from you, you can barely see facial hair poking out of the side of his mask.

You bet he's cute under there, you're practically sure of it. When he looks back at you, you smile sheepishly and start eating.

Wow, he has some beautiful eyes behind that.

"I love your mask, Bubba." You were nervous. Flirting with a literal mystery, also your boss's brother.

Bubba hid his face in his hands and made little noises. Drayton chuckled.

"You made his day Y/N, he damn well may never take that thing off!"

---

Dinner last night was great, and you shared some eye contact with a presumably handsome masked man.

Drayton picked up on this, as your face was as red as the lips on his mask. You entered work with a smile on your face, until Drayton smiled back. Your heart sank nervously. What if you lose your job? What if he hates you for it? He grabs your hand.

"I think my brother may like you. He's not a talker and he's not too keen on people, but you're different. Anyone else woulda looked at his mask and said 'oh hell what a freak' but you were very kind to him. He'd been bothering me all night and morning to ask if you'd have him over to see your dog. See we've only had pigs and chickens and cows. Poor boy has never seen a pet type'a animal."

Oh god this is moving fast. You aren't sure how that's gonna go.

"I don't know Drayton, she's not good around strangers... especially ones who have such a... strange look."

Drayton frowns. You feel sick to your stomach. Not like the night you forgot to eat and passed out, but like guilt was building up inside and about to explode.

"Okay okay... I'll try to get her to work with me. Can you bring him over this afternoon? I know we close early today so that would work,...right?" You feel yourself pulling at the edges of your shirt. You're nervous she might hurt him and then Drayton would absolutely KILL you.

"I'll bring him up and take him around to the back porch, you just have him home after dark. People don't take kindly to a giant with two faces." He smiles.

---

You are in a panic. Your dog is already stirred up, she can sense the fear and is acting up in rebuttal. You hear a knock at the back door.

Oh god it's them.

They're here.

The dog.

You put her on a leash and keep her inside, meeting the giant man outside.

"Hey Bubba! How are yo-" he lifts you into a tight hug when you close the door behind you. He is squealing and laughing in joy. He's wearing his suit and mask from the other night. The one you said you liked. "-ou! Wow you're strong big guy! The pup is inside and she's a little wild today.. I'll bring her out here. No one should see us in the side yard. Okay? Just stay right here!"

You can tell he's as nervous as you are. When he sat you down he gave you a look that said "I'm alright!" But.. You weren't so sure.

When she barked coming out the door he held his ears. You tried to quiet her down but relentlessly she barked and howled in the sight of this massive man.

He didn't know anything else to do so he began to whistle and coo at her.

She quieted down, practically crawling up to him. He held his hand out and she snapped like she was trying to bite and instead of jumping back he just cooed louder. Eventually she started to smell him, walking around him in circles.

Please don't hurt one another. That's all you want is for them to be civil.

Then it happened.

She PULLED until you couldn't hold her leash and you screamed. You closed your eyes and waited for the worst.

Once your heart had slowed to near silence, you heard chuckling and the sound of your dog panting.

"Bubba! I think she likes you!" You yelled with a shaky voice. You were still nervous but he was having a great time and so was she. He was petting her and she didn't even care he had a mask on. Hell, she even licked him! You were in the clear, and you had never felt so relieved in your life.

This big man was petting your dog and having a blast, and just watching and hearing him laugh... You were too.

Damn. He's pretty cute.

(This is my first time trying to write a fic so I apologise for it's length and content 😂😂😂)

[lilhemmo]

i want a sweet pea x reader fic!!!!! i saw all the stuff you reblogged and i wanna read your take on it all! the tropes i pick - bar!au and flirting under fire and (if you can fit it in) injured!fic - thank you in advanced!!!!! i'm a big fan of your stuff!!

send me two au’s from THIS list + a ship/character 

a/n: bear with me… this is a long one! read more under the cut!!

-

How the Whyte Wyrm became Switzerland, you’ll never know.

After your high school years, you took off for a four year degree that was anywhere but Riverdale. Your mom got sick and you had to come back home, back to Riverdale.

Betty and Jughead never left, and neither did Archie. Josie made it out, as did Kevin, and you thought you did. Yet here you are, standing in front of the Whyte Wyrm.

“Stop being such a baby,” Jughead nudges your side with his elbow. “No one is going to care that you’re a filthy Northsider.”

Your jaw drops and he winks before pushing open the wooden doors and letting the sound out into the open.

“Aye, Jughead!” A chorus of people shout out. Jughead is apparently some sort of pseudo-leader of people now. His father may be sheriff, but he runs the town.

Jughead makes his rounds, his serpent jacket standing out in the neon lights of the Wyrm. He hugs and shakes hands, and while he’s busy, Betty leans into your shoulder and asks, “Wanna get a drink? He could take a while.”

Together you laugh as you make your way to the bar. Betty taps it with closed fists, “You know what to do, Sweet Pea.”

You can’t help it when your eyes snap up to meet the bartender’s. Your lips break out into a smile as you recognize who is standing behind the counter.

“Sweet Pea?” you ask incredulously. In a second you’re reaching over the bar to wrap him up in a hug, or at least what you can grab of him, and you kiss his cheek, “Holy cow, it’s been a long time.”

“Yeah,” he smirks, pouring two glasses full of liquid. “Years, huh?”

The scent of alcohol burns your nose but you can’t stop grinning. Sweet Pea is taller now, and he’s completely filled out from shoulders to toes. He looks stronger, healthier - he’s probably getting a full meal now that he’s on his own and he doesn’t have to worry about anyone else. There’s a different light in his eyes now.

“How’ve you been?” you lean onto the bar with your forearms.

He goes to answer just as a table is flipped in the south corner of the bar. Sweet Pea rolls his eyes and walks out from behind the bar, “Fellas, c’mon! You’re paying for that!”

“SP, get over it!” a drunken old Serpent shouts from where he’s staggering behind the tossed table. Sweet Pea huffs, shaking his head, “Toad, c’mon. Go on home.”

A waitress walks by and Toad reaches out to grab her but she’s quick to snag him by the wrist and twist just enough to make it hurt. Three more older Serpents stand behind him, enforcers of some sort. Jughead materializes from where he was speaking with a few old classmates and stands beside Sweet Pea.

Someone does something too quick, makes a noise that someone else doesn’t like, and suddenly beer bottles are flying and pool sticks are snapping.

You find yourself dodging small knives and breaking wrists. You hurt some of them just enough to keep them down, to keep them from slashing at your ankles, and others you knock out against pool tables and the tabletop of the bar.

“Thought this place was Switzerland?” you shout over the commotion, catching Sweet Pea’s eye. He smirks over his shoulder at you, a devilish glint in his eye, “S’posed to be. Can’t always tame the snakes, sweetheart.”

“No,” you lick your lips and grin, “Guess you can’t.”

You’re back-to-back with Sweet Pea, pushing and shoving off of one another to help each other and watch one another’s backs. The adrenaline from hand-to-hand combat and the loud music playing in the background push you forward, making you bare your teeth as they try to come after you.

A few manage to slice at your skin, but the pain is but a blink as you grab one of them by the shoulders and slam them into the pool table beside you. You grab a pool ball and use it as a weapon, warning those who might try to best you.

“So, you come here often?” Sweet Pea shouts over his shoulder. You can hear the smirk in his voice. “I bet I can get the owner to give you a discount!”

“Oh really?” you project your voice over the music. Your lips tug up in a smile as you sweep an attacker’s feet out from under him. “He’s pretty hot, you think you could put a good word in for me?”

Sweet Pea falters and you reach across the space between your bodies to push the assailant away from him. He reacts a second too late and gets a knife to his hip, but the pain only pushes him further into the violence instead of distracting him from it.

“I, uh, I’ll think about it!” Sweet Pea uppercuts into an oncoming junkie, knocking them onto the floor. He steps over them to get to the next person, “Where did you learn to fight like this?!”

“Classes while I was in college! I, uh, I got jumped one night on my way back to my dorm and so I decided I’d never be taken advantage of again.” You have a half-moment to look at him, to catch his eye, before the carnage continues. The sadness in his dark eyes is palpable, but you smile to try and take some of the burden off of him.

“Well,” Sweet Pea grabs at his knife wound and you can see the pain that flashes over his features. He smiles up at you halfheartedly, “I think it’s pretty hot. Maybe you can give me some private lessons later?”

“Oh yeah?” you chuckle, your eyes crinkling at the sides. This was not how you expected your night to go. You kick an ex-Ghoulie in the abdomen and send them reeling, “You telling me that you and all those muscles need tutoring on how to kick ass?”

Sweet Pea smirks, resisting the urge to grab your arm and haul you over to him, “Me and all these muscles, huh?”

As if to rub it in, he flexes even more dramatically as he punches the next attacker. You laugh together and he steps over the unconscious bodies in front of him towards the bar.

“Now you’ve got me all hot and bothered,” he grunts as he hops over the top of the bar. He disappears for a moment before standing upright with a shotgun in his hands.

You can’t help the smirk that rolls your lips together or the spike of heat that burns in your belly. Sweet Pea cocks the gun and everyone’s head turns his way.

“Wyrm is closed for the night!” he shouts. He looks directly at you, “Got some personal business to finish up, and you assholes are pissing me off!”

Someone in the crowd lurches forward as if to challenge him, and Sweet Pea shoots the shotgun in their general direction but far enough away as not to hurt anybody.

The bodies scatter, what is left of them, and Jughead resurfaces from a corral of people who make their way out. He laughs, “Well, it’s been a while since the Wyrm has had a brawl like that.”

“Lotta help you were, fearless leader,” Sweet Pea snarls as he shoves the gun back under the bar. Jughead sighs, “What can I say? I missed the Serpent lifestyle.”

Sweet Pea chuckles and slaps Jug on the back, hugging him from the side. He shakes his head, “Well I can’t fault you for-ah.”

The tallest Serpent crumbles to his knees and you can’t help but fall with him. You hold his cheeks in your hands as you watch the color drain from them. His skin is normally so tan and warm, but it’s cold now.

“Sweets,” you whisper as his hand comes away from his side coated in blood. He licks his lips but they’re cracked. You feel heat in your cheeks and your eyes but you refuse to believe you’re crying over Sweet Pea the Serpent.

“Damn, I forgot about that one,” he chuckles, swallowing so thickly his throat bobs. You bite your lip and look up at Betty and Jughead, who are currently just as terrified as you. Something in you snaps and you steel your expression before turning back to the owner of the bar, “Can you walk?”

You manage to get him into the bathroom, sitting on the bathtub as you tend to his wound. Sweet Pea aches as he tilts his back away from you to give you more room to work.

“Take this off,” you mutter, tugging on his shirt. It’s sticking to the skin around his wound and getting in your way.

He smirks, even with the pallor gone from him skin, “If you wanted my clothes off, all you had to do was ask, babe.”

You cut your eyes at him but can’t stop the blush from coloring your cheeks, “Now is not the time, Sweets. You’ve been stabbed.”

“Eh,” he shrugs despite himself, “it’s just another Friday night.”

You stare him down and he raises his arms as high as he can with his given injury, “Alright, alright, I get it - you’re scary.”

Silence falls between the two of you as you go about swiping the crusted blood away from his wound and cleaning the area. Sweet Pea’s jaw clenches as you swipe the rag over the cut.

You look up at him, your bodies nefariously close. You blink twice to try and gather yourself but it’s not enough because he’s still too close and you can’t breathe when he’s looking at you like that.

“Sweets,” your voice breaks as he touches your cheek with his shaking palm. You lick your lips and fight the tears in your eyes, “We should go to a doctor - a real doctor. Not me in this shoddy bathroom with a couple of wipes and some antiseptic.”

“Then I’ll have to report everything that happened tonight and I don’t want to get anyone in trouble,” he says roughly, his voice breathless. Sweet Pea continues to grin at you despite the pain etched in his voice. “It’s just a bar fight, nothing to get too excited about.”

“Just a bar fight?” you repeat.

He tugs his shirt over his head as if to try and distract you, and it almost works, because you’re looking at the contours of his body and the sinew of his muscle. Your mouth goes dry but you still speak, “Pea, I don’t-”

“S��okay,” he shakes his head, leaning closer to you. “Just do it.”

Sweet Pea drops his head to your shoulder and you pierce the first stitch into his side and tears leak from both of your eyes.

-

You’re wrapped up in a blanket, sitting in front of the fire, when Sweet Pea makes his way down from the loft. You’re quick to your feet, slotting yourself under his arm to guide him to the couch. You share your blanket around his shoulders and it’s easy as you fall together.

“How’re you feeling?” you ask him quietly as not to break the atmosphere.

“M’better now,” he answers. Sweet Pea looks up at you and you’re not sure if its the warmth from the fire or if he’s actually feeling better because the color is back in his cheeks. He nods in your direction, “Thanks to you.”

You lift up the corner of his shirt to examine your handy-work, but wince when you see the ragged stitches holding his skin together.

“I’m sorry,” you choke on your words, tears burning your eyes.

“Hey,” his voice is soft. He frames your cheeks with his palms and the blanket falls from his frame. “I’m the idiot who didn’t go to a hospital, or call the usual Serpent doctor. It’s not your fault.”

Sweet Pea’s forehead drops to press against yours and you feel his nose bump into your own. You bite your lip and squint hard enough to push all the tears from your ducts.

“Can we get back around to the part where you called me hot earlier?” Sweet Pea smirks, staring you straight in the eyes. His hands smooth your hair back and he scoots closer to you so your knees are touching.

One of his arms releases you to bring your legs over the top of his own, despite the injury plaguing his hip. You grab his wrist and push it toward your hip, praying he gets the message.

“Are you planning on sticking around?” he asks, his voice vulnerable. Sweet Pea’s eyes give him away, blatantly telling you that he can’t do this if you won’t stay. He shakes his head, “I-I can’t-”

You lean up and touch your lips to his, your hands on the nape of his neck. Your eyes shutter closed and you feel the exhale of his gasp against your mouth. His teeth knock against yours as you pull away.

“I’m here,” you tell him. Your voice is solid, clear, and he knows that you’re speaking the truth.

“I-I’m sorry,” he shakes his head and chuckles thickly, eyes shining. Sweet Pea swipes under his nose, but misses the tear on his cheek. You smile and reach up to wipe it away, “Sweets, don’t go getting sentimental on me.”

He licks his lips to try and cover his smile, “I, uh, I just didn’t ever expect to see you back here.”

“I had to get away,” you shrug, brushing your thumbs over his cheek bones. “But now, for some reason, Riverdale has reeled me back in, led me back to everyone.”

“Maybe it led you back to me,” he whispers.

You snap your eyes up to him, a heavy weight sitting on your chest. His palm runs through your hair and he pulls you closer by your hip, “I-I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing, Sweets,” you shake your head and try to push the weight down into your stomach. You tousle your hands in his hair and that one lonesome curl still tickles his forehead. You smile, “I missed you. We spent a lot of time together senior year.”

“Yeah,” he echoes, his eyes tilting downward and away from your gaze. “We did.”

You gently tilt his chin upward so he can look you in the eyes again and there’s a cloudiness there that a Serpent would never show to anyone else. You lick your lips before admitting, “I didn’t know you felt the same.”

“Doesn’t matter now,” he whispers, tucking a stray lock of hair from your eyes.

You shake your head in agreement, “No, Sweets, it doesn’t.”

And then he kisses you until you’re breathless. 

[generousbouquetchopshop-us-blog]

The only thing that we know for certain in life is that all of you reading this right now and myself will DIE. (NOT tonight - I just mean at some point in our lives - this is NOT a terrorist attack - believe me, I do NOT have malicious or evil intentions - well in my opinion at least, but sometimes our perception of ourselves differs to how others perceive us - but does that really matter? All I care about is what I think about myself) Wait, Hang On I Lied. There's one more certainty in life. That you and I are human beings. (Well, I do hope so. After all, I only know who I am. And only you know who you are) Yes I tried my best to think of an engaging first liner to grab your attention. (And if you're still reading this now - it must have worked!) I was just worried with all the 'clutter' and 'competition' out there that you could potentially miss this. And yes that's also why I have the photo of a cute baby. And also because we were all once babies at some point in our lives (well unless you came out another way which is not a certain opening in a female body) And before you amazing security officers out there, Who work super hard to protect your citizens, Even on the weekend (which is meant for rest with family) (and shout out to everyone in Australia who still worked today on Mother's Day -your sacrifice of your treasured time which could have been spent with your Mother (the technical economic term is opportunity cost - in case you were wondering - yes I know you all are secretly nerds) Will never be forgotten) Ok so back to you security officers Think of shutting this down, I assure you that this is NOT a security threat. It is NOT an act of cyber terrorism. 'So what is it then?' - you find yourself thinking (Yes I am a mind reader) Today marks a turning point in the course of mankind. Today marks a day that hope is restored in the world. What you are seeing today will be written in history books for future generations to come. We will make it in a Guinness World Record Book for 1. The most number of people clicking going on a facebook event 2. The most number of people posting on a facebook event page 3. The most number of people sharing the same message across social media I know what you're thinking. Well this girl sounds 'ambitious' Which were common responses I got Well yes, This is 'ambitious' I think so too But 'ambitious' and 'reality' are NOT mutually exclusive (is this the right term? I always struggled with probability in maths) But it's going to happen - keep reading on if you would like to see how history is going to be made :) (But technically, history is being 'made' every single day by each and every one of us just be being alive - even going to the toilet and eliminating waste is technically 'making' history) Every single person in the world will eventually receive my message. (And news outlets out there! Please choose a decent photo of me [ie. not one where my armpit hair is showing] Actually, I don't mind if you can find a photo of me with armpit hair. (Yes - that's a challenge!) (We all have hair - I don't see what's the big deal) (Why would you want to see a photo of me with armpit hair when you can just strip yourself down [yes I put this in just for you - you know who you are xD] and just lift up your arm and VOILA!!! Hair before your very eyes!!!!! ) (I'm actually super hairy In my opinion For a girl) Also, I'm going to keep on ranting about this (again, PMS is a real thing for the female population - have sympathy for us fellas!) Another thing I do not understand is why we must wear clothes And in some places in the world, Such as Australia, We can actually get charged with a criminal offence (and maybe be put in gaol) For stripping down in certain public places (with some exceptions such as nude beaches which are mainly filled with elderly people right now - I reckon we can diversify that a little) And showing our 'private parts' (but are our 'private parts' really even that 'private' after all if we all have them? (well I know it differs between females and males)) but yeah - and some of us have unique bodies - either born naturally or through operations - I respect that - it's your life and you choose how you would like to live it - and which gender you would like to live as and which private parts you would like to have) And in some places like Australia, Myth has it that the bigger something (something in a similar shape to a sausage) is The more masculine a male is Well to me, that's absolutely bullshit I don't know how these 'myths' even originated! All sizes are beautiful to me! Ok, so back to me and armpit hair: I filled in one of my friends' survey about hair and shaving yesterday. Why is shaving a thing anyways? We all have hair on our bodies (well some more than others but we all do) Why is it often socially unacceptable for girls have to have cleanly shaven armpits when they wear sleeveless tops or dresses? And why is often socially acceptable for males to not shave?? Now that is gender discrimination to the max! Why is this NOT written in the Discrimination Act in Australia?? (or maybe it is - I have to admit I haven't read it - and I highly doubt that my fellow Australian peers have either - but apologies! If it is in there!) And on that note of Discrimination, It is so real And close It still happens today in the 21st century!!! Right here in Australia This week, I had the privilege of talking to a beautiful Indigenous lady I've always been curious of Indigenous Australian culture (do you know that Indigenous Australian culture is the oldest surviving culture in the entire world???) WOW Because I certainly didn't know this. If Australia was a person And let's just say I was that person for theoretical purposes I would go around showing that off I would tell everyone I would tell the entire world I would be super proud of that I would make sure the entire world knows (but why doesn't the entire world know?- well maybe it's only me who is oblivious and ignorant and unaware - and maybe all of you do know this - please correct me if I'm wrong) Ok, so yeah. This beautiful Indigenous lady (and I do remember your name - I just want to make sure I respect your privacy before I decide to put your name here for the world to see because there's no way that I have been able to contact you) Said her dream was to become a cook (yes you go girl!) And she applied for a cook job recently. She was called in for an interview. But as soon as she showed up, They told her the position had been filled Now if that isn't discrimination to the max, I don't know what you call that I was super angry when I heard this. Now those of you who know me know that I don't normally get angry It takes quite a bit to get Leeann angry (I give off the impression of being a calm, controlled, sweet, pure and innocent girl) If I was present at the time, I would've taken those café owner(s) to court. And sue you for breaching the Discrimination Act Because the legislation is real and it is properly enforced (well I don't work in the legal field so I actually wouldn't know) But nothing in the world (I believe) cannot be resolved with Honest and open Communication. Just by opening our mouths and making some sounds (I think that's what we call a language), Together, we can solve any problem And we must learn to be accountable And take responsibility for our own actions Like a girl (why do we tend to say man? Are we trying to imply that females are less brave than men? My fellow female population Let's band together and prove them wrong -Trust me boys, you never mess with girls, We will make sure You Rue For The Rest Of Your Life Until The Moment You Die :) [just kidding XD- no I'm not kidding here] Yes, we must take responsibility for our own actions like a girl (I remember seeing a campaign trying to challenge gender stereotypes a couple of years back - that was awesome! I forgot what it was called though but I do remember it so it means it was effective) And I will illustrate this with something we all do -fart. Why do we feel the need to suppress our urges to fart? If you stink up a room with your own smelly gas, Then at least do it proudly! Make it as loud as possible! And admit it was you! And apologise maybe! OR, if that's too scary for you, I have another suggestion which has largely been inspired by one of my close mates (who I'm sure would probably appreciate it if I don't name and shame them - your very welcome in advance =D) This is no magic but You simply tell the person you're talking to or the people around you that you need to fart And head outside To do the deed. Then walk back in. And continue with your life. Easy. See, life isn't at all that complicated is it? (I know! I'm a genius!!!) Prior to my launch tonight, I shared my initiative 'Die To Live' with some fellow peers. I had many people who doubted me. But I also had many people who had absolute faith. Now, I don't blame those of you who I spoke to and doubted me. If someone told me that at Sunday 9pm on the 13th of May, 2018, Hope will be restored in the world, That the world will be changed And that it will be a major event in history, I will look at them And think they're nuts! (And no, in case you were wondering, I don't mean the pecan nut, macadamia nut, or peanut) And some of these people also looked like they wanted to lock me up in a mental health hospital. But what does it even mean to be 'mentally ill?' Am I considered 'crazy' just because I have different opinions that nobody else seems to have? Does that make me 'mentally ill?' (Correct me if I'm wrong, but in my humble opinion, that just means I'm a human being) While we're on the topic of 'mental illness,' Check out the School of Life and one of their recent videos Called something along the lines of - why the modern society makes us mentally ill I watched it over breakfast yesterday and could not agree more (i promise that this is not paid advertising/product placement or whatever we choose to call it) Because it's so good that I voluntarily choose to 'advertise' for them The School of Life does not need any paid marketing (yes you girls are awesome!) But at the same time, Yes, I get you. I wouldn't believe it either Until I see it unfold Before my very eyes Myself. But I certainty would not lock someone with different thoughts to mine in a mental health hospital, away from the rest of society. I would simply respect their opinion, try to understand and empathise from their point of view and then move on with my life. And I also had one special 'case.' You know who you are. You're the person I bumped into and didn't think I was 'insane' but instead thought I was plotting to commit suicide at 9pm Sunday May 13th and then upload 13 videos onto Facebook with each video incriminating a different person who lead me to end my life. -Just like the TV series - 13 reasons why Oh you funny!! (but I'm even funnier xD) But you had faith in me and that's all that matters :D Life is NOT a Television series!!! (For those of you who don't know what a TV is - it is essentially a virtual reality -trust me though, it's nothing special - and you're not missing out - because you're living your own reality instead - and I believe that is infinite times cooler than watching someone else's) But what I don't understand is why some of you who doubted me had absolute faith in science. (I'm not throwing shade here [or am I? - well too bad too sad because you'll never know what goes through my mind] but Shout out to that person I had an extremely heated intense friendly 2 hour banter sesh about science and religion a couple of days ago) Those words you used cut me But I forgive you Because I know you didn't mean it Because, in my humble opinion, science is a belief system in itself based off faith. For example, most of us in today's era believe that the Earth is round. And this is 'proven' to us through science. But until I personally travel up into space and view the Earth from a distance with my own very eyes, I refuse to believe this as an absolute 'truth.' (but even then, I may not even trust my own eyes - they could be lying to me - I could just be hallucinating) We often like to think we are 100% certain of many things in our everyday lives. Perhaps uncertainty makes us feel uneasy. In my opinion, we dislike uncertainty. Which is why we try to structure our lives and lock ourselves in some kind of routine to try and eliminate uncertainty (but this is simply NOT possible in my opinion - the only certainty in life is death - but even that's not even certain) Who said we should eat 3 meals a day - Breakfast Lunch And Dinner (for those of you who don't know what I'm rambling on about - because I'm aware you may or may not have ever eaten a proper meal (yet) - they're just names some of us use to tell ourselves when we should eat) Wouldn't hunger be a better indicator of when to eat instead of locked in time periods? And who said that we should aim for 5 serves of vegetables and 2 serves of fruit per day or something along those lines? (Yes it's a rhetorical question - I know who - 'official' nutritional guidelines or something I think) Because for me, if I know that the only certainty in life is death I would rather eat what I want to eat If I enjoy the taste of it But at the same time, it is all about the 'balance' (as Katherine Du likes to say) (there will be more on food and eating in the second part of my 'story' -I'm not going to tell you all of it now -just to make sure you keep reading heeeheheheee) And who decided that humans should sleep once a day? And it has to be at nighttime? And who came up with the guidelines that children need about 9-10 hours of sleep per night And that adults need about 6-8 hours per night? (Yes I know - it is scientifically 'proven' - but how did you scientists come up with these numbers? In saying this, I have the most utmost respect for you scientists -I'm just curious -it's hard work working in labs -I have some mates studying science/medicine and they tell me about their 4 hour lab sessions When I heard this, I was angry Because That's torture! Abuse of human rights!! Because I get hungry every 2-3 hours!!!) Wouldn't sleepiness and fatigue be more appropriate signals of when to sleep? Mum, I know you will read this. I did tell you that your friend's daughters will probably read my 'story' first Then tell their parents Then they will call you up And tell you to read this. (I wasn't at all wrong about that was I?) I have to main things I would like to say to you mummy: 1. Happy mother's day! 2. I love you Remember two nights ago when I got home and slept at 7pm Without eating dinner? And you were upset the next morning that I didn't eat your food? I apologise again if I hurt you, But I feel like it was not that necessary to 'lash out at me' when I asked (just innocently out of curiosity): Who decided that humans should eat 3 meals a day? OK so back to the science and religion 'friendly banter' I had Once again, the only certainty in life is death. (and I will repeat this numerous times throughout my 'story' just to annoy you - <3 - I challenge you to count how many times I mention that - and maybe there will be a prize for the person who gets the right number or gets closest to the right number! - just like those jelly bean in a jar guessing competitions! - just kidding - I'm not serious on this one - I can't be bothered to count myself - I have bigger fish to fry ;)) People thousands of years back were 100% certain that the Earth was flat. But they were somehow 'proven' to be 'wrong'. Now we (or just me) are 100% certain that the Earth is round. So in my humble opinion, we can only 'disprove' things but never 'prove' things. We merely get less 'wrong' each time round (Manson, 2016) But we are never 100% 'right.' Anything is possible. (Well maybe besides eternal life beyond Earth - but even that is not 100% impossible) So, an anonymous person who wishes not to be named recently brought to my attention how Fast the world is changing around us. For example, Facebook was invented in 2004 - it's only been 14 years - but I seem to hardly remember any parts of my life without Facebook in it) Wikipedia was launched in 2001 (and I didn't get this one from Wikipedia) (I don't know how I wouldn't 'survived' all those assignments without you! Thank you Jimmy Wales and Larry Sanger! And bless all you other inventors out there who invented something useful to humanity! Again, bless you all who believed me without needing to see it happen. You know who you are. I will never forget how you made me feel. There is nothing that fuels the human spirit like faith. (unless it's more alcohol) Complete And Utter Faith. Even my mother who raised me for 19 years and whom I crawled out of her (something - let's just say body) Doubted me. Yet some of you had utter and complete faith in me within minutes of talking to you for the very first time. And I reiterate again (mum, I'm not throwing shade at you here) If I had a daughter and she told me she's on a quest to change the world this Sunday at 9pm on Mother's Day, I (I don't know what I would do but I would probably not believe her) So….back to how Every single person in the world will eventually receive my message. I chose to use the word 'receive' instead of 'read' because I am also aware that language translation will be needed. TIP: Try copy and pasting this into google translate! (man technology does wonders!!!) And also because not all of us are blessed to be taught how to read. As to why I chose to use English, It's because it just happens to be the language I'm most fluent in. And also because, for some reason, English also happens to be the 'universal' language used across the world. I chose to use the word 'receive' instead of 'see' because I am aware that not all of us are blessed with the ability to see. I chose to use the word 'receive' instead of 'listen' because I am aware that not all of us are blessed with the ability to hear. I chose to use the word 'receive' instead of 'smell' because I am aware that not all of us are blessed with the ability to smell. (this doesn't really have anything to do with what I'm saying today because in my humble opinion, I don't think we can smell a story??? - well feel free to prove me wrong - nothing is certain in life besides death. TBH (to be honest), I just wanted repetition for a couple of lines because I learnt in high school English, that it will help deliver my message across) And I also say 'eventually' because not everyone in the world as it currently stands has even seen what 'technology' looks like, let alone have access to social media. That’s why I'm relying on YOU all to translate my message and communicate it to these fellow peers. I'm just one person. And I need your help. I can't do this alone (but I will if I have to -but ideally not!) So you find yourself still thinking…. 'Ok, I still have no idea what this post is about.' (Yes I am actually a mind reader) Apologies! I'm only human and I'm flawed and I do occasionally get just a little side-tracked and distracted. You're life has value. You were born for a reason. And I will prove it to you. (Yes - I remember whispering this in one beautiful human's ear a couple of days ago. This beautiful human was so selfless and looked out for me when I was not in the best state of self (this hero walked into the female toilets since I was chundering and got kicked out of security guards as a result) (this hero was prepared to take me home on a 1.5 bus ride at like 11pm at night towards a direction which was completely opposite to where he/she lived) (and this hero probably got some of my churned up mix of food and alcohol on them too - soz) (and I apologise again for that other beautiful human who I chundered on their hand -soz not soz - HAHAHA -I do mean it when I say that (now you're probably wondering which part I'm referring to [well you'll never know! Heheee - <3] ) And thank you to you too! You know who you are! I love our long-as text message chats! And that card you wrote me for my 18th last year -those words really touched me Even though we meet up like once (ok I may be using hyperbole here - I'll say twice) a year, You mean the world to me To me, friendships and relationships in general are much more than hanging out in real life, To me, friendships and relationships are more about having that emotional/spiritual connection with another human being To me, friendships and relationships are not defined by physical presence (although I do believe hanging out in real life is nice too - but life sometimes takes us in different directions - and that is not always possible) You may love another person dearly, but that doesn't mean you necessarily have to be together with a physical presence. 'True' love, in my opinion, is when you genuinely want the best for the other person And being genuinely happy to see them happy Yes that night at Metro Theatre in the city, I got kicked out by security guards within 30 minutes of going inside for a combined university event. I think (and you never trust a drunk person's memory) I had about 11 shots of straight vodka that night (looking back, that was not the best idea) Those security guards who kicked us out were not the nicest people. I know that Deep Deep Deep Deep Deep Down That you guys are beautiful people - just please bring it to the surface and show it to the world You could've been a lot more nicer. After I got kicked out and as I was walking towards Maccas (yas I love you maccas - happy meals were my childhood - why are soft serves $0.75 now? They used to only be $0.30! Inflation is a real thing! That's why I love economics! - I'm expecting a massive surge in economics students both at high school and university heheehee - economics teachers and lecturers - you are very welcome XD) In my drunken and semi-conscious state, I remember vaguely rambling on saying things like Why are people like this? Why are people so mean? Why is the world like this? And probably also crying my chunder out at the same time I was always that good straight A studious nerdy student who always did my homework on time and listened to the teacher in class. I waited till I was 18 until I had my first legal drink. (well I did occasionally have some sips of wine at home over dinner but nothing substantial until I turned 18 -unlike most Asian dads, My dad encouraged me to drink at home - he was more than happy! - you're cool dad xD - just wanted to let you know that) I was at a university first years camp when I had my first drink. I remember feeling sad because the alcohol was way too diluted -and I was too 'heavy-weight' -and I couldn't physically drink that much fluid to feel drunk because I was too full Looking back, I was probably drunk and was probably on the verge of my limit But I didn't know because I've never felt what it was like to be 'drunk' Then about a month and a half later, I went to one of my mate's surprise 18th I wanted to 'test' my 'limit' I drank as many different types of alcohol I could get my hands on Rum Vodka Soju Gin White wine Red wine Whiskey Tequila You Name It (well probs besides Maotai which is $$$$ - and we were all young dumb and broke uni students - yes Khalid I love you) And you can probably guess How my night turned out My face was in the bathroom sink for about 3 hours (well it felt like 10 minutes to me but I've realised my perception is super distorted while under the influence) Thank you to those who accompanied me for the entirety or a part of those 3 hours - I'm sure it didn't make it onto the best nights of your life list I remember feeling so ashamed after. I could not stop thinking about it for at least 3 weeks. My reputation! Like most people who chunder for the first time, I vowed that It Wouldn't Happen Again. (deep inside I knew it would because I just wasn't happy and I knew I would turn to more alcohol to distract myself from that constant emptiness but I didn't see another alternative back then) But my brother and mates weren't at all that 'wrong' when they said something along the lines of That's what they all say. Within a couple of weeks (or months - if that detail matters), I Unsurprisingly Chundered Again. And then I repeated what I said previously. And I got the same responses as I did before (kind of like déjà vu) And then the cycle kept repeating itself so many times that I lost count of how many times I chundered Because I stopped caring My 'reputation' was damaged beyond repair anyways And I was happy with the new me (the person who started to care less about what others thought of me) I was always that super good girl who was sweet, nice and 'innocent' (whatever that means) But what does it even mean to be 'innocent?' What's the definition? A lot of my friends had often commented that when they first met me I seemed like an innocent girl then they realised they were 'wrong' like super 'wrong' - completely off Does the fact that I love alcohol And the fact that I've chundered more times than I remember And the fact that I like to squeal at high pitches to the point it may cause long term ear damage (apologies to those people who I have damaged your hearing permanently) And the fact that I really enjoy raves And love waking up to hardstyle music every morning And chucking a phat (someone please explain to me why it's spelt with a 'ph' - I tried googling but I never found an answer - I guess you can't find all the answers to life's problems on google) Muzz To start my day Make me any less 'innocent'? OK so back to that night I got kicked out of Metro Theatre. It was that night when I realised you beautiful humans had my back. And I will forever have yours too. You are all beautiful. And I still remember that night like it was tonight. And I will never forget it. It is around 9pm here where I am in Sydney, Australia right now. There are approximately 7.6 billion people in this world (rounded to 1 decimal place and 2 significant figures - or 'sig figs' - I'm not talking about the dried fruit here) (according to the World Population Clock at 12:18pm yesterday - Sydney time) I may just be one girl. But one girl can change the world. If you don't believe me, I will prove it to you. (200% guarantee Just take a screenshot of this message When you visit me in gaol/jail [depending on where you live in the world] Effective for one year within today HAHAHA in case you haven't realised already, I'm only kidding) Why must we rely on legal systems and laws to protect ourselves from lies? Why can't we rely on trust instead? I realise that it's probably impractical to scrap our legal systems together -but I do reckon mixing a bit of 'trust' into the mixture won't hurt And I am aware that I live in a hole (not literally) I have lived in Sydney, Australia for most of my life Which I know is not representative of the entire world. Some of the things I talk about may make absolutely no sense to you. But I only humbly ask that you take a moment to understand what some of your fellow peers on the other side of the globe go through on a daily basis or have experienced Even if it is super foreign to you. (If you check up on the news on a regular basis, This should be no different I guess But probs maybe just a bit more 'spicy' and realistic) I'm sure you would like to same favour (or should I say flavour HAHHAH - gosh I'm so funny!) to be returned to you. Can I count on you guys (and the entire female population - I don't know why it's normal to say 'guys' for both genders) to have a read of what I have to say first And try not to act on any prejudice or judgement Before you decide to shut it down? Yeah, sorry, I got a little side-tracked again So… The only thing that we know for certain in life is that all of you reading this right now and myself will DIE. So what is the point of staying alive now if it's all going to come to an end? Why are we living to die instead of dying to live? All of us have a mother. (assuming you are all humans like me and started with 'something' that happened between a male and female) I love my mum. Without my mum I wouldn't be here tonight. Without my mum I wouldn't have the opportunity to connect with you tonight. Without my mum you wouldn't be reading this tonight. In Sydney, Australia, Today is Mother's Day. And it's no coincidence that I've chosen this day to connect with you. This is because today we show our appreciation for the beautiful and incredible woman who brought us into this world, whether she is here with you or not today. Today, we show our appreciation to the woman who sucked up the discomfort of having a massive bulge sticking out of her belly for 9 months. Today, we show our appreciation to the woman who suffered physical pain and bleed from childbirth. I don't think there can be any other pain greater than the pain of childbirth (well I haven't given birth so I guess I'm not qualified to say so) (Yes the cute baby photo was specifically chosen to capture your attention) Today, we show our appreciation to the woman who blessed us with a life full of opportunity. Mother's Day is today, in Australia. Why are we on social media? And I am no hypocrite here. Why am I myself on social media tonight? Why have we felt the need to create a 'Day' for all our 'Mothers' out there? Is it because, without a 'Mother's Day,' we will forget to love our 'Mothers'? Shouldn't our mothers be appreciated every single day? (Same for all the 'Father's' out there!!! I love you Dad) In the past, all I did for Mother's Day was go to the shops and buy a box of chocolates or some flowers or whatever was on "Mother's Day Sale." But I've realised there are many things that Money Cannot Buy. (feel free to prove me wrong here) There are many things that cannot be Bought And Sold Based on demand and supply on a Market (Yes I love economics!!!) Love. Time. Purpose. Faith. Hope. Life. The List Goes On And On . . . In my humble opinion, I feel like some meaningful celebrations have been overly commercialised in some 'developed' countries. I feel like Christmas Day is more about buying presents and decorating the Christmas tree. I feel like Easter Day is about eating chocolate shaped in an oval egg shape (or bunny or whatever fancy shape chocolate is moulded into to make it more appealing to buy and eat and make it seem different but at the end of the day it's just chocolate - well maybe different in the sense that it has differing percentages of cocoa content - I'm personally a big fan of dark chocolate! - I reckon 70% is just 'perfect' - well just 'right' - because nothing is 'perfect' but also nothing is 'right' - so yeah, I just contradicted what I just said). I feel like ANZAC Day is more about eating ANZAC cookies and buying things with the Australian flag printed on it. And I feel like Chinese New Year is more about receiving free money from relatives (as long as you are unmarried). Now, I'm not suggesting that you should all divorce or remain single for life and go become Chinese. I'm just telling you about my 'blood nationality' and our culture. Also, while we're on the topic of marriage, I am not at all against marriage (I think marriage is wonderful and Western white wedding dresses are super beautiful on brides), in my humble opinion, I don't really understand the point of marriage? To me, Love is about remaining loyal both physically and emotionally to another human of our own choosing (in my opinion, regardless of gender). Personally, I don't see the need to have my 'love' with another human solidified by the legal system under a notion called 'marriage.' I believe if we truly 'love' another person, We should be able to trust them to remain loyal (both emotionally and physically) to us without protection under the legal system And live together happily ever after (Yes I'm a big dreamer and lover of Disney and I believe in happily ever after fairytale endings with my Prince HEEEHEHEE) And, while we're on the topic of Princes and Princesses and fairytale endings, (I know we all love a good romance on such a dark, romantic night here in Australia and most stories told through mediums such as books and movies tend to have at least a touch of love in them And some have a bigger focus than others *Cough* *Cough* Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet) One of my favourite TV shows (back in the day I still used to watch TV) was the Bachelor/Bachelorette <3 But now I prefer to live in my own reality TV show instead of watching another's on an electronic screen To my Prince out there, (yes you know who you are) Who wishes not to be named (and shamed - hahah just kidding - Well, hopefully you don't find what I'm about to say to be too embarrassing) The way I fundamentally feel towards you has not changed one bit And I'm not talking about hate here (jokes! I lied! I actually feel even stronger towards you now <3) And gosh, No other human on Earth has ever made me cry as many times as you have. No one can compete with how many rivers on Earth I've filled with my salty tears. (everyone else reading this, please don't try to break the Guinness World Record here - I reckon I've had my fair share of tears and breakdowns) And I meant it when I said nobody has ever made me feel this way. (or something like I've never felt this way towards somebody - or the other way around - well I guess that's not important) (and well I guess it does make sense that everybody feels differently towards each person because they're different people) -that paragraph was very coherent - I know I've already told you this directly but repetition surely doesn't hurt! Thank you for always considering what is best for me in everything you've done. (Well I hope that's what you've been doing - only you know what's going inside that interesting head of yours) Thank you for teaching me the importance of honest and open communication. I would never forget that night when you asked me out in the most romantic location one could possibly think of. (Solid memz) (And great place IF we have any future anniversaries) Thank you for all the 'fun' experiences we've shared together (Yes you know which one I'm referring to in particular ;)) I hope we have many more nights just like that (well maybe just a bit more) You're a Tim Tam Because You're Simply Irresistible And you know which Guinness World Record of mine (or personal best) I would like to break ;) (please don't go finding another planet to live on to get away from me) And I love how we always go 'hunting' for the same places when we're out and about in public ;))))) I also would like to say that I miss you. A lot. <3 (AWWWWW) And I've been thinking about you A lot. (AWWWW) And Just like how I've previously never envisioned a life without a uni degree till this Monday, I've never been able to envision a life without you in it (and I probably won't be able to - but nothing is certain besides death - so I could be wrong I guess) I was never quite a full believer in soul mates Until I met you There was always a 'mystical' feeling I felt around you. I never understood what it was Until now I thought it was just 'lust' Or you were just secretly a 'fuckboi' (whatever that means) But I realised it was much more than that. OK, that's the last (massive) chunk of cheese I'm feeding you guys (for tonight). And I'm sure the rest of you have eaten enough cheese for the day. And I don't want to make you puke tonight. Because that's not my job -That's the job of your significant other <3 I don't know what you were expecting when I messaged you yesterday asking for your permission to have your first name in my 'story.' Well, since you said no, I assume you probably weren't expecting this. (man I had some great jokes I wanted to crack with your first name - GRRRRR) But again, as I have already told you, In this life, If we would like to have a nice and healthy relationship, We must accept the fact that we have the right to both reject and be rejected by others. And others hurt us but we also hurt others. That's just part of life. So, I respect your decision. I had to get that off my chest. Because now, When I'm on my deathbed, I don't have to be wondering what could've been had I chosen to tell you. Instead, When I'm on my deathbed, I can spend my last hours reflecting on what a wonderful life it's been Surrounded by my family and closest friends. Now, I've done everything I possibly could within my control. Now, it's all on you now. And please respect how it's a private matter between us two from now on. Your own love lives are much more interesting than mine. Trust me. Why would you want to see how someone else's story ends (or starts) when you can be writing your own 'story?' So go out there and tell that person you've been wanting to tell how you feel how you've felt all along! Be a girl! Growing up, it was always drilled into me that guys should be the ones chasing girls and girls should not chase guys. And that girls should play 'hard to get' Wouldn't life be so much simpler if you start feeling like you like someone, To say something along the lines of: "Hey. I like you. Do you feel the same way?" Then it can either only go one or two ways (Well we all hope it goes one particular way) And then you can move on happily with life and find someone else who also feels the same way and live happily ever after (well unless you're super unlucky and get a fence sitter And apologies, if that's the case, I don't have any further advice for you - you're on your own then xD) I used to think that expressing my emotions was a sign of weakness. I was 'wrong' (whatever it means to be 'wrong' or 'right') But I've realised it actually takes a lot of courage. It takes a lot of courage to tell someone that you feel hurt by something they've done. It takes a lot of courage to tell someone that you love them. But, in my opinion, by telling others how we feel, It actually liberates us. It allows us to make amends Instead of letting resentment build And then exploding later Like our own internal Big Bang Because in my Theory (I guess you can call it the Big Bang Theory), believe me, in my experience, I have exploded many times (not literally) By letting my resentment build (under the influence [heavy] of alcohol) If you don't believe me, Believe Bronnie Ware!! For those of you who don't know Bronnie, She worked as a palliative nurse for 8 years looking after people in their final days alive. And she writes in her book "The Top Five Regrets of the Dying," That one of the top 5 regrets she heard from people with limited time on Earth was that they wished they had the courage to express their own emotions. I used to put on a face and act like something that really hurt me didn't affect me at all. I don't understand why I aspired to be a 'psychopath.' Because a key characteristic of a 'psychopath' is that they feel no emotions. Our ability to feel emotions, whether that be: Happiness Disappointment Joy Anger Resentment Love Is what makes us human. Why do we attempt to 'dehumanise' ourselves? So back to marriage…. Again, I am not against marriage. Well, even if I am, why should you care? It's your life and you choose and how you would like to live it. And believe me, in my humble opinion, life is too short for you to spend a couple of minutes writing a nasty comment trying to convince me of the importance of marriage. (Well if you decide to do so, I'm absolutely honoured! because it means I'm super important to you because you care a lot about what I think) But for me personally, I would just like to wear a nice white pretty long wedding dress for fun and take some photos around my closest family and friends Anyways, got a little side tracked again. Back to the topic: I know that many of us struggle or have struggled to find meaning in life. I'm one of them. And I'll be sharing my story with you. I know if I don't wake up tomorrow, I can Rest In Peace. Apologies, if I have generalised or made false assumptions in parts of my 'story' by using words like "We." I know that there is no other certainty besides death. But sometimes, it is 'easier' to do so to illustrate a point I'm trying to make. I hope you understand. If you don't like what I have to say, you can either (Mark Manson): 1. Do nothing OR 2. Do something I value all opinions and perspectives. I only ask that you do so in a courteous and respectful manner. Growing up, my dad was always the logical one and less of a 'dreamer' than I was. I tried having D&M (Deep and Meaningful conversations) with my Dad but they never turned out the way I hoped. 'Dad, what do you think the meaning of life is?' 'There's no meaning. You live. You die. That's it.' Wow! So optimistic Dad!! I love you Dad! Growing up, you also 'tried' (and I use the word 'tried' because you weren't that successful in doing so) to drill into me that it was a waste of time and energy to 'care too much' about the world Because you said there's nothing I can do about it. I just have to accept life the way it is. Well, back to Mark Manson's two options, You can probably guess which path I decided to take (and it wasn't to accept it I Refuse to accept the world as it is) To all my fellow peers out there, If I have offended you, please let me know. I am not perfect. I don't try to be perfect. And I don't need to be perfect. And as much effort as I've put it and how hard I've tried to minimise resentment and offense, (Just like how I'm trying to be at the minimum point on the parabola And at the maximum point on the parabola with my impact) I'm only human. And so are you. And to further illustrate my point that nothing in this world is 'perfect' (apologies if this sounds like an essay), My 'story' is not fully edited. I've ran through it once - made some changes and this is what you're reading now. There are errors. There are bits repeated. There are bits that make no sense whatsoever. This is to further highlight my belief that nothing in the world is 'perfect' (or the real reason could just be that I'm lazy and cbbs editing it) LOL DISCLAIMER: I do not accept any legal responsibility for any tears shed Or any laughs shared Or any puke vomited from cheese overload in the process of reading my 'story.' (Oh and in case you haven't realised already It's also R rated And if you don't know what that means Adults only!! - just kidding, anyone can read my 'story') I reckon that our mental state would be a better measure of our 'real age' Because our age is just a 1, 2 (or 3) (or 4) (or more) digit number which doesn't indicate anything about our 'maturity' level (whatever that means) nor our 'wisdom' (whatever that means) You are reading at your own risk. Remember It's YOUR own life. And YOU choose how to live it. (Please show appreciation for the fact that I've been nice and have made this disclaimer at a font size that you can actually see) [Tip: Get a box of tissues ready (don’t worry if you don’t know what tissues are - they just help absorb our tears) You can live without them! Actually we can live without a lot of things If my house was on fire, i know what i would choose to take - nothing at all - nothing but myself and my family - I slept in a room with nothing [not literally] but a mattress laid on top of the carpet on the floor with a blanket, pillow, oxygen, walls, life and I was clothed too] And in case you were wondering, I didn't choose to do that for fun. My house was under renovations for a couple of weeks (we repainted the entire house and changed the entire carpet) And during those two weeks, I felt like I was 'homeless' I can't imagine what it's like to actually be sleeping out in the open on the streets Or being a refugee I felt like I was being kicked out of my own dwelling and I didn't belong - I felt lost and very uncomfortable OK, so here's my 'story'. https://leeannchn.wixsite.com/dietolive/single-post/2018/05/13/Lets-Not-Live-To-Die-but-Die-To-Live