#as someone who grew up on cheese and crackers as The Snack. yeah. it's that but Embellished.

[thestarmaker]

Good thing abt being an adult is that instead of cheese and crackers with whatever is in the fridge (fine, never bad options) I can buy my own fancier cheese (apple cinnamon cheddar) and fun crackers (various shapes with poppy seeds) and I can even buy meats (summer sausage) to go with them

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

All he wants for Christmas

Based on this: “Can we get a Drabble where reader is the apple of Steve’s eye, despite the readers disinterest. Bucky notices his friends obsession and barely-there restraint. Maybe reader gets black out wasted at the Christmas party and Bucky and Steve wind up taking her ‘home’/back to their room where Bucky manages to entice Steve to finally act on his desires while she’s unable to stop him?”

+

“y/n is a stark employee/shield employee whos taken on as a holiday temp hands out candy canes and stuff, and either Bucky or Steve become obsessed with y/n and make a move during a work costume party.” both requested by anonymous.

Warnings: noncon sex (fingering, blowjob, intercourse), drinking.

Note: Another holiday drabble. I have quite a few now so I’ll be working on getting them done. These were drabbles which suggested both Bucky or Steve so I did both. Enjoy some dark holiday Stucky.

Hope y’all enjoy. Like and/or reblog!! <3 Reblogs really help especially since I haven’t been getting many.

As a temp, you were the bottom of the totem. That meant you got the lamest assignments. That meant you weren’t just a guest at the annual holiday party, you were working. At least for the first hour. As guests arrived, you were to greet them, in the gauche red dress trimmed in fake white fur, with a basket of candy canes.

You realized quickly, no one really wanted the candy canes. They tucked them away, forgotten, and moved on to talk with those they knew. You were acquainted with many of the guests so it was even more embarrassing that Tony tasked you with the ridiculous post. He did however hint that your acceptance of the little job could secure your position in the company when your contract came to an end.

You checked your watch. Another ten minutes and you could join everyone else. Tony just wanted a little show at the door. He always went all out. The next pair to enter the lobby were familiar. Despite their fame, they were always friendly and you were surprised that you’d come in almost daily contact with them throughout your work at Stark Tower.

You met Steve’s eye and braced yourself with a stiff smile. His eyes rounded, just for a second, and he looked to Bucky beside him. Bucky smirked at your costume and elbowed Steve to keep going as they neared. It was awkward but you swallowed your pride and grabbed candy from your basket.

“Happy Holidays,” You chimed as you held out the sugary canes. 

“Jeez, Stark has you out here doing this?” Bucky tutted.

“For a little while longer,” You replied as Bucky took a candy cane. Steve was not so subtly avoiding looking at you. Bucky took the other candy and shoved it in Steve’s front pocket.

“So will we see you inside?” Bucky asked. Steve finally turned to you. His blue eyes strayed to the square top of your dress but quickly flitted back to your face. Was he blushing? You had told Tony this dress was too much.

“Shortly,” You assured them. “You should go in before you’re late. Tony’s impatient tonight.”

“Yeah, let’s go...inside.” Steve agreed, his voice was distant even though he stood right in front of you.

“Yeah, sure,” Bucky shook his head and shoved his hands in his pocket. “Let’s go, bozo.” 

He nudged Steve with his elbow and you nodded to them in a silent farewell. They passed through the wide doors into the burgeoning room draped in lights and gold. Jenny would be here soon to take over, her shift would be slower but she’d drawn the short straw. You hoped, at least, you could enjoy the what you had left of the night.

-

You handed off the basket of candy and quickly scurried into the party. You found your way to the table of snacks and drinks. You looked over the spread and thought deeply about what you’d go for. Some of it looked a little too posh. Something easy and light would do. You picked at the dry cheeses and crackers and glanced around the room.

You took a glass from the row of clean one and stepped along towards the bowl of punch, the warmed vat of cocoa, and the egg nog. A shadow appeared beside you and you looked up to find Bucky there.

“Oh, hey,” You said, surprised.

“You’re done?” He wondered.

“Yup,” You said gleefully. “Do you know if this stuff has alcohol or…”

“Nah, the waiters have the alcohol,” He answered as he looked over your head. “You want some?”

“I’m good with the punch,” You ladled some into your glass. You drank the sickly sweet juice though it hinted at something more. “You sure?” You looked at the deep red juice.

“Yeah, champagne and cider only,” Bucky shrugged. “So, you hiding by the food the whole night or you gonna get in the spirit?”

“You don’t seem the festive type,” You replied as you turned to the room. Several temps waved to you and you waved back. “Am I in your way? Maybe you’re the one wanting to hide under the table.”

“Nope, just saw you hovering over here, thought maybe you’d join the old men for a drink,” He gestured to the other side of the room. Steve stood nervously staring at you and looked back to Sam the moment your eyes met.

“Does punch qualify?” You raised your glass.

“Whatever you like. We heard your contract ends in January. Thought it’d be rude not to say a proper goodbye.”

“Yeah, well, I might get an extension...but you never know.” You sighed.

“You sure you don’t want a real drink?”

“Yeah. I don’t like to drink at work things.” You assured him. “Especially with my job in the balance.”

“Makes sense. So?” He tilted his head.

“I can pop by and say hello,” You stepped away from the table. “Shall we?”

“Ladies first.” He waved you past him and you reluctantly went ahead.

You wove through the crowd and sensed him behind you. You came upon Sam and Steve, the latter as evasive as before.

“Hey,” Sam nodded and sipped his drink. “Nice get-up.”

“Thanks,” You rolled your eyes. “Not exactly my choice.”

“My first party, Stark made me wear elf ears,” Sam said. “That’s just Tony.”

Steve looked to you and smiled. His lips moved as if to say something and he closed his mouth. Then he finally spoke. “Hi.” Was all he said.

You raised a brow and took a drink. He was always a bit standoffish, at least you thought so. Though you’d walked in on him with others and he never had much of an issue talking or letting his thoughts be known. Maybe it was you. Shit, maybe he didn’t like you and told Tony so and all this was for nothing.

“Don’t worry about it, last year,” Bucky intoned before it grew tense. “Tony stuck magnets to my arm with the help of that kid. I didn’t notice for three days. Had to get recalibrated after I broke several door handles.”

You chuckled, imagining the scene. You felt Steve watching you and glanced over. He looked between you and Bucky and frowned. You hid your confusion and took another gulp. He definitely hated you and sucking up to his friend wouldn’t help you.

Finish your punch, you told yourself, then go hide with the rest of the temps. 

-

The evening didn’t go to plan. You didn’t go hide with the other temps. A refill turned into two or three more, each time Bucky left to fill your glass. Soon enough you lost count. Soon enough the crowd was thinning out and the room seemed to tilt and spin just slightly.

“Okay, there’s gotta be something in this,” You turned to Bucky and hiccuped. 

“If there is, I don’t know,” He shrugged and chuckled. 

It was only the three of you. Sam was off goading Natasha over their last mission and had quickly lost himself in being her personal pest. Despite his reticence, Steve hadn’t parted but instead stayed close. Maybe he was keeping tabs on Bucky. Or you. You finished your glass and set it aside on a nearby table.

“Alright I should--” You tripped over your heel and Bucky caught you.

“I thought you didn’t drink at these things,” He teased.

“I don’t, I--”

“You couldn’t taste it?”

“What? What did you--” The heat of alcohol gathered in your cheeks. “Did you--”

“No tampering. Just a fib.”

“Wha--”

“Steve, help me.” You looked over and Steve nodded, eyes wide and intent on you. He took your other arm. “We better get her outta here before someone notices how drunk she is. I doubt Tony needs a lush on his staff.”

“I’m not--Oh, you son of a…” You held in a belch as they led you easily across the room. You were too wobbly to resist. Besides, he was right. You were drunk and Tony noticing wouldn’t do you any favours.

“My coat,” You muttered as they led you out of the room.

“Shh, it’s okay. I’ll get the coats. You got your ticket?” 

You didn’t answer and Bucky felt along your hips and found your purse hanging loosely from your shoulder still. He snapped it open and fished out your coat check slip. He held out his hand to Steve and took his. He left you with the other super soldier who was stiff against you. You dared to look up at him.

“Why did he lie to me?” You asked quietly. Steve didn’t answer, only tightened his arm around you and looked around for Bucky.

When Bucky returned, they draped your coat over your shoulders and helped you out onto the street. A cab pulled up at the curb and you it all moved too quickly for your slow mind. You were crushed between the two Avengers on the leather seat as the city streaked by.

The door opened and you were pulled across the seat. Voices here and there but you were distracted by your sudden panic. Bucky held you up as your feet found the pavement and the yellow cab pulled away. Steve was at your other elbow in a moment.

“Where are you taking me?” You tried to pull away. “Wait, why did we leave? What’s going on?”

“Steve, help me with her.” Bucky ordered. “Shit, I’ve done all the work so far.”

You were drawn away from Bucky and suddenly scooped up. You glanced up at Steve as he held you but he didn't look at you. Wouldn't look at you. The other soldier led the way as your head spun. The motion of being carried made you even dizzier.

A couple steps, a lock, a door opened and closed. You reached out and latched onto air. Another door, stairs, then finally, a third door. Steve angled you through as Bucky held it open and closed it swiftly.

Lights flicked suddenly over the loft. A warm glow despite its strangeness. You wriggled and Steve squeezed you tight. Bucky sighed and strode across the room. He fell into an armchair and splayed his legs out.

"You wanted her. You got her." Bucky said. "She couldn't say no if she wanted to."

Steve's chest rose and he looked at you at last. The glimmer in his eye made you shiver.

"Steve," You slurred. "Please, put me down."

"You want me, don't you?" He purred.

"What? Steve, I just want to go home."

He frowned. "She doesn't want me, she wants you. I could tell. Earlier."

"Just put her on the couch. Stop being a baby." Bucky loosened his tie. "Christ's sakes, of course she wants you so why don't you show her how much she wants you?"

"Ugh, please," You gripped your head and Steve began to move again. He dropped you on the couch and you exclaimed at your jolty landing. "I don't…I'm…"

You could explain your thoughts, your feelings, your fears. They stirred together in your head and threatened to boil over. You sat up as Steve removed his jacket. 

"Don't be stupid," Bucky warned lazily. "I'll hold you down myself. Now give the man what he wants."

"Bucky?" You gasped.

"You can't actually be so dumb," Bucky scoffed. 

Steve's hand pushed your jacket from your shoulders as he stayed silent. You looked up at him, afraid. He shuddered and threw it away from him.

"Better help him or you won't have anything to wear out of here." Bucky intoned.

You looked between them and trembled. Steve reached to the straps of your dress and shoved them over your shoulders. You gulped as he threatened to rip them.

"You…" Your voice quavered and you turned your back to him. "Unzip me."

He was clumsy, eager. He pushed your zipper down and his fingers tickled your skin. 

"See," Bucky chuckled. "Easy. They're all so easy."

Steve's slid the straps down next and your bodice slackened. He guided the fabric past your waist and let it fall to your feet. You closed your eyes and turned your face down. He fumbled with your bra, loosing it only after a curse under his breath.

You flinched as your bra fell down your arms. It dropped down onto the dress as his hands went to your panties. He guided them down your thighs, caressing your legs all the way down. You made to lift your foot from your heel and he stopped you. 

"Keep those on," He said. 

You let him stretch the panties over the shoes and dispose of them with a toss. He untangled the rest of your clothing from your feet and flung them aside. You opened your eyes as he ran his hands back up your legs and to your hips.

He pushed on you as he stepped closer. He rubbed his crotch against your back. You sensed Bucky watching but he hadn't moved from his seat. Steve leaned down as he gripped your hips.

"Bend over." He urged. "I wanna see if you're just a pretty as my dreams."

You relented as he nudged you over. You caught yourself on the edge of the couch. His hands went to your ass as your ankles threatened to bend in your heels. You felt him move and tried to pull away. You were too drunk and swayed as he barely kept you upright. His hand flitted away but quickly came back to spank you.

“Don’t hurt yourself,” He warned.

“I don’t...understand,” You breathed.

Your body shook as his hand descended along your thighs. You glanced back as he got to his knees and you tried to pull your legs together but his hand slipped between them and held you in place. You looked over at Bucky as he watched casually. Almost as if he were watching a screen; detached and unreal.

“Why…” You rasped and your voice caught in your throat.

Steve nuzzled along your pussy and his tongue surprised you; coolly but warm at the same time. He pushed your legs a little wider and grazed his hand up along your thigh. He pressed his fingers along your vee and spread his saliva along your folds. His hand and mouth worked in tandem as the peculiar sensation spread through you, dulled and intensified by your drunkenness.

His other hand slid up your hip and urged you to bend deeper. His tongue delved down and flicked your clit. You spasmed and he did it again and again. Then his lips closed around the small bud and he sucked on it. The waves rose over you as he let his mouth coax you from your hazy fear.

You grabbed onto the cushion as your breath hitched. You spread your legs wider for Steve. You weren’t thinking, couldn’t think. It felt wonderful and your mind clung to the delightful blooming in your core. You moaned and wanted to swallow it up, but the noises continued to rise with the ripples and soon you were panting a pleading in ecstasy.

Steve pulled away and rubbed your pussy. He smeared your cum down your thigh and pinched. He drew away and you felt him get to his feet. Your legs trembled and threatened to collapse. Movement caught your eye as Bucky stood and brushed past Steve.

Bucky walked around the back of the couch and bent over it to grab your hands. He took them and set them on the back of the sofa. You were forced to look up at him as you lifted your knees up onto the cushions. Steve’s belt buckle clinked and you turned your head only slightly before Bucky caught your chin.

“He’s wanted this for so long,” Bucky sneered. “You think you can keep teasing him like this, hm? Running around in that little dress.

“St--I never…” You gasped as Steve’s large hands went to your hips again and he forced his knee between your legs.

“Come on, open up,” Bucky said as his thumb ran along your bottom lip. “Let him in. We all know it’s what you want.”

You tried to shake your head but he held firm. The tip of Steve’s cock poked along your thigh and he tickled your skin with it as he guided it to your folds. You inhaled sharply and Bucky’s thumb pressed higher.

“Come on,” Bucky purred and forced his thumb past your lips. “Such a precious little kitten.”

Steve wetted his tip along your pussy and stopped at you entrance. Your eyes widened as you looked up at Bucky. Shock and hunger beckoned you forth. Your lips closed around Bucky’s thumb as Steve pushed inside inch by inch. Bucky pressed down your tongue and you couldn’t help but suck, just a little.

“See. We know you’re not so innocent, kitten.” He reached down and fumbled with his belt as Steve bottom out.

You bit him slightly and he chuckled. Steve pulled back and thrust back in, forcing Bucky’s finger deeper. Bucky pushed open his pants and slipped his thumb from your mouth, a strand of spit hung between you. He drew you closer and Steve kept close behind, still inside of you as he pushed his knees up on the couch beside yours.

You were forced to bend over the back of the couch as Bucky’s cock sprang forth. He gripped it and seized the back of your head. “I wasn’t going to use you but you’re just so eager,” He pushed your head down till your lips were at his tip. “I know you can do it, kitten.” He said as Steve rocked against you. “Look how well your taking him.”

You whimpered as Steve pushed himself as deep as he could go, your hips fully against the couch. He tickled along your spin as he thrust again, basking in the way you squirmed against him.

“Come on and open,” Bucky squeezed your jaw.

You parted your lips and he forced the head of his cock through. He caressed your cheek as he slid deeper and his other hand came up to pet your hair. You gagged as he reached your throat and he eased back just a little.

“Mmm,” Bucky hummed.

Steve thrust harder and the impact forced Bucky back to your throat. He pushed a little more and you let him deeper until you couldn’t breathe. Steve’s groans kept time with his hips as he was more fervent with each tilt. More eager, more hungry. He sank into again and again, faster and harder.

Bucky began to work against you in time, his cock sliding out as Steve’s pounded into you. The had you trapped between them on the couch, your back and jaw ached as they used you. Your vision blurred and heat took over your wits. You tried to remember how’d you gotten here, how this had happened. You could only think of the streaking city lights and the endless glasses of punch.

Your body rose again, on a cloud as neither stuttered or stop. You felt your self ascending again and your body clung to Steve as he hammered into, bouncing you off the cushions with ease. He leaned into you, crushing your chest against the back of the couch as your head hung over the edge to take Bucky. 

You came but your cry was muffled by Bucky’s cock. You only gulped and gagged as he ignored the spasms of your body and Steve took your orgasm as a sign to reach for his own. The clap of flesh, the sloppy squelching, it all melded together in a storm of pleasure. You were weak, senseless, and overwhelmed.

Steve came first. He leaned against you heavily as he thrust as hard as he could. His hips twitched as he released inside of you. He sighed and wiggled his hips as he languished in the warm deluge. Your walls clung to him and Bucky sped up. 

He held your head firm as he fucked you, chasing his own orgasm until he unloaded down your throat. It was hot and salty and made you retch around him. He didn’t stop as you fought not to let your body revolt. He fucked your face until his was completely down, until your lips were coated in his cum and your own spit.

Bucky pulled out and you coughed as he let you slump over the couch. Your arms slid over the edge and you panted as Steve stayed against you. He pulled you back sharply and turned, still inside you, as he drew you into his lap. He kept you from folding up as his hands cupped your chest and Bucky’s soft footsteps neared.

Bucky came up before you, stroking his cock as he watched Steve move your body against his. He leered and ran his tongue along his bottom lip. 

“You know, I think I see it now.” He continued to play with himself as Steve gripped your hips. “Such a sweet little kitten.”

[afewmarvelousthoughts]

Only For A Moment Ch. 37

Master: @afewmarvelousthoughtsadmin

Pairing: Bucky X Reader

Summary: For most of your life you’d been able to keep your abilities a secret, that is until Hydra got wind of you. After years of being in their clutches, you break out when The Avengers expose SHIELD/Hydra. Since then, you’ve been on the run. Things are going as well as you could hope when you see a familiar face… Could the Winter Soldier really be in Bucharest too?

Warnings: Nada. Just good sweet soft well earned fluff.

A/N: Y’all. I’m still fucked up that Truth is over. Just needed to get that out of the way. 

Originally this chapter was going to be longer and maybe not as much pure fluff. Then I decided, nah, these two have earned a goddamn reprieve. I hope y’all like these tender moments. I hope you love this pair as much as I do. (No one will love them like @wonderlandmind4 though, lol!)

Enjoy my pumpkins! 

Tags are open!

“No.” Your tone is hard and final.

Bucky lets his head drop to the kitchen table with a thud. “Y/N…” He groans into the wood.

“I’m not fucking doing it Bucky. I’m not going to fight-”

“It’s not like I’m suggesting we duke it out until we’re both bloody.” You don’t say anything else, you just stare at him with a stubborn expression.

Sighing he pushes away from the table and walks to the door, bracing himself against the frame, attempting to gather his senses. After a minute he hears you stand, your arms wrap around his waist and you lean against him. Tenderly he pats your arms before covering them with his own.

“I just need you to be safe, Y/N…” He lifts your hand to his lips, placing a lingering kiss on your knuckles.

“I know,” you whisper between his shoulder blades, forehead resting on his upper back. It’s not the response he was expecting.

“Then why-” He turns to face you, words freezing on his lips. Your face looks crumpled, eyes glassy brow furrowed. “Doll?” His fingers caress the scar on your right cheek.

Your eyes flutter closed before you take a shaky breath, “I’m… Bucky I’m so tired of fighting… I’m… I’m just tired.” When your eyes open and meet his he thinks he may shatter.

Cupping your face in his hands he swipes away the tears that trickle down your cheeks with his thumbs. “Can we… pretend, just for a few days maybe that this is all there is?” His hands slide to your shoulders and you lean into his chest, “Just us… just this… no one potentially hunting us, nothing to run from, nothing to fight…”

“Of course we can, darlin’.” He holds you tight and sways you a bit in his arms, pressing a kiss to the soft crop of your hair. “Of course we can…” It breaks something in him how little you’ve known peace in your life… If he can give you even a little… maybe training could wait.

“Hey,” holding you at arm’s length he tilts your chin up. “Can you bring the mattress to the living room?”

Your eyebrow ticks up and he smirks, “Uh… ok.”

“Trust me.” He pecks your forehead and pushes you in that direction. As you lift the mattress he heads to the fireplace in the living room. The rain may have lessened but the cold has settled. In just a minute he sets the dry wood crackling.

“Put it here,” he gestures in front of the fireplace. You settle the floating mattress down staring at him with a crooked smile.

He pulls you to him, hands sliding under your sweater. “Bucky…”

“Shh…” His body hums from the little sound you make at the feeling of his breath on your ear. “Trust me.”

He undresses you and then himself. While he could and would happily take you once more that’s not his goal here. Kneeling on the edge of the mattress he pulls you down into his arms. Cradling you against him he lays you both down on your side, your back against his chest facing the fire.

“Rest,” he breathes into your ear. “We have all the time in the world.”

-

For a while, neither of you sleep. You just revel in the heat from the fire and Bucky’s body pressed close to yours. Listen to the sound of the fire crackling, his steady breath. Eventually, though you both drift off into a deep sleep.

When you wake a few hours later it’s late afternoon. You haven’t moved and he’s still out if his light snores and steady breathing are to be believed. You’re a bit stiff from having been in the same place for so long but you feel more relaxed and rested than you have in… well years.

You let your power slide over your skin between Bucky’s arms and your torso, lifting just enough so you can slide from his embrace without waking him. He groans just a touch before turning onto his stomach and settling back to sleep.

A little smile curls the edges of your lips as you watch him for a moment. The afternoon light and the glowing embers of the fire painting every shadow golden. He looks so peaceful so… well beautiful. You wish for a moment that you could take a photo, capture this forever…

Duh. You do have a camera. Quietly, you pad to the bedroom and pull your phone from the bag. The screen may be cracked and the camera low quality but you snap a picture anyway. Maybe you’d delete it but for now, it feels good to have saved this.

Back in the bedroom, you slip into leggings and a thick oversized sweater before fishing out your copy of Anne Rice’s Servant of The Bones. Without a sound you creep outside, curling your power around the old door hinges to keep them from squeaking.

Despite the storm earlier, the sunset is blazing bright and beautiful, pinks and oranges and reds. You breathe in a lungful of clean rain washed country air. It doesn’t quite smell like your childhood but it’s so close. You had forgotten how peaceful being away from the city could be.

Softly you laugh a bit at yourself as you sit on the steps of the back porch. You ran as far away from rural life as possible. Ran to lose yourself in the noise and people and smog. It was true you found a new version of yourself there. Someone who couldn’t sleep if it was too quiet and who didn’t mind that there was rarely a peaceful spot in the city. Someone relished in a packed and reeking subway car because it was so unlike what you’d known before.

But you never actually lost the child who would wander for hours in the woods, fish for crawdads in the ditches after a rain, or pick dewberries in spring and fall. 

She was always in you when you ran off to the beach in the middle of the night to watch the water and be alone. Or when you’d lay on the roof after a nightmare wishing you could see the stars. You feel her here now in the quiet of this old abandoned farm, the soothing sound of the breeze through the trees, in the smell of the rich damp earth. It’s good to have her again. Good to know even after everything she’s still here.

You hear the floorboards creak in the house but don’t feel the need to drag your eyes from the scene before you. It was just Bucky, no need for worry or fear here. He takes a seat behind you, thighs flanking you. You lean back into him. He’s solid and comforting. A low contented hum vibrates through his chest as his arms hold you close.

“It’s beautiful here.” You lift his right hand, turning it over, studying the callouses.

“Mhm, better with you though.”

You laugh softly, leaning your head back to look up at him. “Sap.” His smile is so gentle as he meets your gaze and plants a kiss on your forehead.

His lips are still pressed to your skin as his whispers, “I love you.”

For a moment you hold one another’s gaze, both seemingly awestruck. “I love all of you.” Bucky’s emotions are just at the surface, his eyes close and you see his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows hard.

Your head falls against his chest once more and you sit in comfortable silence, soaking in the beauty of the moment. Honestly, you could have stayed there forever. But after a while, your stomach growls in protest at being ignored.

“Come on,” Bucky stands, extending his hand to you. “Tomorrow’ll have another sunset.”

You’d intended to eat earlier before he brought up the ridiculous notion of ‘training.’ Now you actually take in the spread. He must have been bringing things in all week. Wine, whiskey, bottles of water, snack food, vegetables, canned goods, fruit are all stacked on the counter and open shelves of the kitchen.

“Plums?!” Greedily you grab the dark purple fruit. It’s just soft enough to tell you it’s perfectly ripe and you bite in. The taste floods your mouth and you groan in pleasure.

Bucky laughs a little as you sit on the table top, “Guessing you like them.”

You nod, swallowing a large juicy bite. “Plums and peaches are my favorite. When I was a kid someone was always selling them on the roadside. You could get a ton, fresh from some old man in a pickup, for next to nothing.” Taking another bite you remember making yourself sick once eating fruit, getting sticky in the summer heat. “Probably the last good ones you’ll find until spring.”

He leans next to you, biting into his own deep purple fruit. “Cheers,” he holds it up and you touch them together giggling.

“I got anything that could keep without electricity,” he motions to the kitchen, indicating the lack of a refrigerator. “The stove works but it’s wood burning.”

“That’ll be a new adventure.”

It’s not one you take that night. Instead, you crack open a bottle of wine and leisurely eat bread, crackers, meat, cheese, and fruit in front of the fire. Bucky plugs the lights into their battery casting the space in soft warm light. Simple though it may be, it may be the best meal you’ve shared.

You open another bottle of wine, neither of you really feeling the effects of the first, and curl up on the couch your legs in his lap. As you pass the bottle between you he massages your calves.

“Mmm,” you hum handing him the bottle, “that feels amazing.” He casts you a warm smile making your blood sing far more than the wine.

“Did you spend a lot of nights like this?”

“What’d you mean?”

“Before… everything. Ya know firelight, peace and quiet, wine?”

He snorts, “You do know I grew up in Brooklyn right?”

“Well yeah but… I figured it was different then, I guess.”

His head falls onto the back of the couch as he looks at the ceiling, a smile on his face. “I’m sure it isn’t the same Brooklyn anymore… But, at least when I was there, peace and quiet weren’t two things that went along with most any part of the city.” You giggle a little. “What?”

“I don’t know if I’ve ever noticed it before but you have a little bit of an accent.”

“Do I?” His eyes sparkle when they slide to catch your nod. A small laugh huffs out, “Good.”

He takes a long drink, gesturing to the fireplace with the bottle. “Light a fire like this in the tenements, likely to light the whole damn block up.” The bottle turns in his hand, “Wine though. That was a part of plenty of long nights. Though I always preferred whiskey.”

“Hmm,” you take the bottle and drink. “that doesn’t surprise me. If I get to chose I’m a gin girl myself.”

“Ooooh,” he croons. “classy.”

You laugh, “Hardly.”

A contented sigh curls from between his lips like smoke. “I always had to find peace and quiet though… three sisters and my parents then a cramped apartment with Steve.” He shakes his head, “Enough to drive a man crazy.”

“Where’d you go?” You reposition to lay your head in his lap. He sets the empty bottle to the side, fingers scratching your scalp. If you were a cat you’d be purring.

“The beach at night I’d-”

“Sit out and watch the water.” Your smile is huge.

“Yeah. How’d-”

“I’d do the same. All the time.”

With a feather-light touch, the fingers of his left hand trace the bow of your lips, the curve of your chin, down to your collarbones. “We’ll go back one day,” his voice is low, heavy with the weight of purpose, “I promise. We’ll go home,” his voice cracks a little, “together.”

@bluegirlusa1 @l0kisbitch @tazzi-baby @disagreetoagree @woodyandbuzz20-01 @mooniightbucky  @saundrasays @breezy1415 @alyssaj23 @mywinterwolf @wonderlandmind4 @fairislesheets @anamcg317 @buckaroo-barnes @jazztherebel @peachthatdrinkslemonade @regulusirius  @auskitty@babyimp1967 @katecolleen @handplucked @piensa-bonito @darkdragonphoenix @issanitydead @thestorydetective @buckysstar @wintersoldierswhore @greyeyedsmile14 @watchoutforfrostbite @for-the-love-of-the-fandom @jewelofwinter @siriuslycloudy2 @hardygal69 @marvelousmeggi @jdoenson @gamorazenn

[ella-insideout]

I wasn’t told you’d be this cold (Part VI)

A/N: Hello lovelies! Welcome to part 6!!! Read all previous parts here to get caught up. Usual disclaimer: this is based on a very real and very sad relationship I had in uni. We’ve got lots going on in this chapter—angst, smut, fluff, literally everything. I hope you enjoy it!! XXX (PS - I’m thinking of making a playlist for this series, any song suggestions?)

Word count: 4.9k

Harry and Helena’s first kiss after months apart felt as though it went on forever. The tiny London side-street was empty but Helena felt as if she were in a movie—this would definitely be the part where the audience begins clapping because the two main characters finally found their way back to each other. But all good things must come to an end.

Harry broke away from the kiss first. And though Helena was scared that she might’ve crossed a line, when she opened her eyes she saw Harry smiling down at her. He pecked her lips once more before picking up the roses she’d dropped (she didn’t even realise they fell from her hands) and held his palm out to her. She interlaced their fingers and they walked back to Harry’s flat together.

Helena replayed the events from earlier in the week over and over again in her head while she made her way to Adrian’s flat. Though she explained to Harry she had dated over the summer, she incorrectly used past tense. All week, Adrian had texted her to grab dinner or drinks and she denied each invitation with lame excuses of ‘my mum needs me to housesit’ or ‘Bella and I already have plans’. And she felt horrible, she truly did, for lying to him—and technically cheating on him. She’d gone and kissed another person when they had already spoken about their exclusivity. Sure, they weren’t officially boyfriend and girlfriend, but they were committed to one another; Helena thinks Adrian could’ve been her boyfriend, if it weren’t for Harry. It’s a quick walk from the overground to Adrian’s flat and Helena’s heart is practically beating out of her chest with anxiety as she knocks on his door. He answers with a grin but it quickly falters when he sees Helena’s stoic expression.

“Hi, love,” he leans in and pecks her cheek, allowing her to enter the room, “you alright?”

“Yeah, yeah,” she muses while walking to the small sofa, “can, er-can we talk?”

Helena is sat staring at her hands, too afraid to look Adrian in the eye. She feels the sofa sink down and begins speaking, nervous that if she doesn’t get everything out now, she never will. “I… God, I don’t know what to say. There’s thi-this guy and I met him last year, just when we started uni.” She takes a deep breath, “It was never really serious but I developed some…feelings for him. He went away but now he’s back.”

“So… You want to go back to him?” Adrian asks lowly. Helena looks up and their watery eyes meet.

“I don’t know,” she lets out a shaky breath, “bu-but I kissed him. I kissed him on Monday. I’m sorry, I’m s-sorry.” The tears fall out and she covers her face with her hands, unable to look at him any longer. She can hear Adrian sniffling beside her, indicating that she’s definitely hurt him.

“So we’re breaking up.” Adrian wipes at his tears as Helena picks her head up to face him once more.

“Y-yeah,” she squeaks out, “you deserve better than me. I fucking cheated on you. I’m a cheater!” The tears cascade down Helena’s cheeks again. However, instead of yelling at or kicking her out of his home, Adrian does the unexpected. He scoots closer to her and wraps his arm around her shoulders.

“No, no, no,” he tuts in her ear, “you’re not a cheater. You made a mistake, s’all. We all do.”

“Don’t be nice to me, I don’t deserve it. You should hate me.” She cries more into the crook of his neck.

“Don’t hate you, I could never,” he whispers, “I’m hurt—I won’t lie. I have feelings for you so of course I’m hurt. But you’re not a bad person. You just made a bad choice.”

“I have feelings for you, too. I really like you.” She hiccups, pulling away to look Adrian in the eyes.

“But you like this other bloke more.”

“I love him.” She responds instantly. It’s sad but true—she loves Harry with everything in her. She’d move mountains for him, but when she thinks about it, she wouldn’t do the same for Adrian. It’s only fair to let him go. “I’m sorry.”

“Me, too.” He says despondently. They sit for a little while crying together until the tears subside. When they’ve both calmed down, Helena composes herself and collects her things to leave. She looks around the tiny studio apartment and feels sad knowing it’s the last time she’ll see the four walls she’d grown so accustomed to. She wants to cry knowing she’ll never see Adrian again—at least romantically—but she holds herself together.

“So…” he draws out as they stand in the doorway.

“So, this is goodbye, I guess.” Helena shrugs her shoulders. “I’ll miss you.”

“Gonna miss you, too. Loads.”

“Do you… Do you think we can ever be friends. Maybe one day?”

“Maybe,” Adrian hums, “It just hurts now. I need some time.”

“I understand.” She nods her head.

“If things were different, if he wasn’t in the picture… Would you be wi—”

“Yes.” Helena cuts him off. She doesn’t need to hear the rest of his question; she knows that if Harry wasn’t around, she’d be with Adrian. And she needs him to know that.

“Well,” Adrian lets out a long breath, “that’s good to know, I guess.” He leans in for one last hug and she grips him tightly, scared to fully let go. “Be good.” He kisses her cheek for the final time.

“Be good.” She says back, walking away.

—

Helena was hurting after her break up with Adrian. She couldn’t really show it but she felt terrible. She cried the whole way home and again the next morning. She and Bella would meet up to talk a lot about Helena’s conflicting feelings toward both Adrian and Harry, and each conversation ended with Helena realising that she wanted Harry more. Maybe she needed someone like Adrian—someone who could commit and treat her nicely—but despite better judgement, her heart longer for Harry. And when she saw him, it felt like the world disappeared. They could be in a crowded room but Helena would swear that they were completely alone. Harry had this way of making Helena feel special, and as much as she wished it, Adrian never gave her the same feeling.

It’s about three weeks until uni starts up again and Helena is dreading it. Lately she and Harry had been spending every day and (almost) every night together. Sometimes they’ll go out into the city and discover new cafes and shops, taking full advantage of the last bits of the summer sun and warm weather. Sometimes they’ll stay in his and Niall’s flat, cooking pizzas and watching comedy specials on Netflix. They’ll sit on the sofa and Harry will lay his head in Helena’s lap, allowing her to play with his hair. As for the nights Helena spent with Harry, they were far from typical nights two nineteen-year-olds would spend together. While they’d kissed loads since Harry’s return, they hadn’t had sex yet. Harry feels it’s still a bit too soon after his breakup, but Helena thinks that Harry just wants things between them to be special. She’s oblivious when it comes to him.

It’s a fairly warm Sunday and Harry didn’t want it to go to waste. He asked Helena to join him for a picnic in Greenwich Park and put together a nice basket, he thinks. He’s got a bottle of white wine with two (plastic) wine glasses, an assortment of cheeses and crackers that came in a pack, and some jammy dodgers to satisfy Helena’s sweet tooth. He collected Helena at her bus stop (she’s still not back in Greenwich until next weekend) and the pair walk with their arms linked through the park to a secluded, shady area. Helena pulls out a folded quilt from her bag and lays it out for the two of them, toeing off her sandals she kneels down on the blanket and begins unpacking Harry’s basket.

“Oooh,” she quips, “you got the good wine! And the good cheese! And jammy dodgers!”

“Yeah,” he chuckles, “only the best for m’girl.”

Helena’s smile grew when Harry called her his girl—he’d stopped calling her that while he dated Rachel and the nickname is a gentle reminder that Harry is hers again. Just hers. She’s happy it’s a warm day because she can see the rose tattoo on his forearm, it’s still a bit scabby but it looks beautiful. Helena thinks her cheeks may fall off from smiling so much.

The pair enjoyed their snacks and drinks while laying in the shade of the late morning, but as the afternoon sun became stronger, Helena convinced Harry to move their blanket into a warmer spot. She hiked up her calf-length dress to her mid-thigh in order to tan her pale skin and Harry removed his shirt to avoid getting a farmer’s tan. They laid in the sun and chatted while passing the wine bottle back and forth. Helena, a little bit tipsy at this point, started teasing Harry. At first it wasn’t entirely noticeable—she pulled her dress up a little bit higher and Harry assumed it was to even out her tan. Then she untied the halter of her top and tucked the strings into the sides, and Harry figured she didn’t want lines. Then she leaned over and though Harry thought she was going to kiss his cheek, her head tilted downward and she kissed his neck.

“Mmm,” Helena hums, peppering kisses up Harry’s jawline, “you look so nice today.”

“Thanks, H,” he clears his throat, “so do you, y’know.”

Helena pulls away from Harry and shuffles her legs beneath her, leaning back into her heels. Harry takes a moment to eye her over—her skin is dewy with a bit of sweat from sitting in direct sunlight and her skirt is very high up now. So high that if he looked a bit longer, he’d see her knickers. Her dress is no longer supported by the halter straps and the fabric is laying across her chest, her cleavage on full display. Unable to control himself, Harry all but lunges at Helena and brings their lips together. He immediately pushes his tongue into her mouth and she moans in response. She breaks away from the kiss and pushes Harry down, crawling on top of him. Harry shuts his eyes and puckers his lips, expecting Helena to meet him halfway but instead, he feels her on his neck again. She sucks for a moment on the spot above his collarbone and Harry grunts, placing his hand in her hair. She lightly bites the skin and sucks a bit more, wanting to make her mark on him. He’s finally hers and she wants everyone to know. Harry’s free hand slides from behind her back to her stomach and slowly trails up until he reaches her breasts. He begins kneading one in his hand, thumbing over her nipple through the fabric, and the feeling brings Helena back to reality.

“Harry, we can’t,” she pants out, “people will see.”

“No, no,” he whines, sitting up and situating Helena over his lap, “just lay your dress over us. If people come by they’ll think we’re ‘aving a cheeky snog. Which we are, aren’we?” He smirks at her. Helena complies and pulls her dress down, its length covering them. She reaches underneath the fabric and undoes Harry’s jeans, pulling out his cock. She pumps him a couple of times before she pulls her underwear aside and lines him up with her entrance. Helena sinks down on him and they both moan—a bit loudly—at the feeling.

“Missed this,” she says into Harry’s ear as she rocks on him, “missed you inside me.”

“Fuck,” he mumbles, “missed yeh too. Make m’cock feel so good, darling.”

Helena begins rolling her hips against his and the friction against her clit makes her head lean forward onto Harry’s shoulder. He places his hands on her hips and continues leading them in their movement, loving the feeling of her tight walls all around him. He takes one hand under her dress and circles his thumb around her; Helena’s head then tilts back as she cums. She’s squeezing his cock and he feels so good and Harry is about to cum until he realises they didn’t use a condom.

“Fu-fuck, m’sorry!” Harry practically yells as he lifts Helena up and pulls out just as he begins to cum. He can feel it dripping down his cock and knows he’s just ruined her dress, but he hasn’t had an orgasm since who-knows-when so he loses himself in the moment.

“Harry!” Helena chides him, “Could’ve at least given me a little warning.” She comes off him and settles at his side, poking at the wet spot near her upper thigh.

“Sorry, m’sorry,” he says sleepily, blinking his eyes open, “just so intense… Couldn’t think… Didn’t realise I wasn’t wearing a rubber till right before.”

“Harry, it’s okay, m’on the pill.”

“Yeh are? Since when?”

Helena’s eyes go wide for a moment. She doesn’t want to tell Harry she started birth control while dating Adrian. She definitely won’t be telling him that she’s had sex without condoms now and had someone cum inside her. Nope, she won’t be telling him. “For my period, to regulate it. But it has other benefits, too.” Harry wiggles his eyebrows and Helena laughs. She won’t tell him, ever.

—

It’s now Helena’s first day back in class and she’s slightly nervous. She lucked out with having all-afternoon lectures and seminars, but she wants to make sure this year goes well—academically and personally. She’s determined to get high marks in all of her courses and has a goal of studying abroad in Spain during Spring term; her programme also has connections with so many international businesses that she’d be able to undertake an internship during her abroad studies. And since Helena still has no clue about what she plans to do when she graduates in two year’s time (maybe journalism? Or PRing? Teaching?) she needs all the experience she can get.

As Helena walks from her shared flat with Bella to her first lecture of the year, she wonders about Harry. He, too, had his first class today and it let out around 11am with an hour-long seminar immediately after. She had texted and asked him to meet for lunch (since her course doesn’t begin until 1.30) but he’d never responded. Not that it’s unusual for Harry, just disheartening for Helena. So she left her flat a tad earlier in order to grab a sandwich at her favourite cafe near the market and as she walked through the door, a surprise was waiting for her.

Harry was sitting at a table against the cafe’s far wall in front of a full table of food, holding a bouquet of red roses. Helena spotted her usual sandwich order on the plate opposite him and as she approached the table, Harry stood up and held the flowers out to her.

“For you, m’lady.” Harry smiles and jokingly bows toward Helena. She happily takes the roses into her hands, smelling them before placing them down on the empty chair beside her.

“What’s all this for?” She questions as they sit down.

“Yeh told me yeh wanted lunch. I forgot to reply but I figured you’d come alone,” he shrugs, “you can never turn down a turkey-pesto sandwich.”

“I can’t!” She says before taking a bite of her freshly prepared lunch. Harry watches her fondly while she’s eating and in between bites Helena asks, “Why’re you staring at me?”

“S’just nice to see you eating, is all. Y’know… Being healthy.” Helena swallows and thinks back to her poor eating habits from earlier in the year. She’d lost so much weight but during the summer, she worked very hard to gain it back (in a healthy way). She exercised more to gain muscle and made sure to eat her three meals a day everyday. No excuses.

“Well, thank you for my meal,” she grins as they make eye contact, “it was really lovely. And you didn’t have to treat me or spoil me with these flowers.”

“Course I did,” Harry scoffs, “do you know what today is?”

“My first day of classes?”

“No.”

“Our first day of classes?”

“Also no.” Helena huffs at his response. “S’the day we first met. On the booze cruise last year.”

“Oh.” She says with a twinkle in her eye, thinking back to that night. She was completely enamored with Harry from the moment she saw him. She remembered wondering if she would see him again and what it’d be like. If only she could tell her past self all the ups and downs she’s had with Harry over the past year. But she’d do it all over again, if it meant she could have him.

“So, happy meet-a-versary, H.” Harry raises his glass of water.

“Happy meet-a-versary, H.” Helena giggles as she clinks her glass with his, both taking a sip at the same time.

—

Though it’s just been a few weeks into fall term, Helena already felt overwhelmed. Her courses were much more demanding than the year prior; she had about 600 pages of reading per week, and she was only enrolled in four classes. She was also working diligently on her study abroad application by freshening up her resume and writing covering letters for potential employers. She hasn’t yet told Harry about her plans to go abroad and she feels a bit guilty—it’s not that he wouldn’t be supportive, because he would be, but Helena is nervous about leaving him behind. They’d already been separated once and she was completely broken. She’s not sure how she’ll cope if she’s away from him while they’re actually together.

In need of blowing off some steam, Helena asked Niall to arrange a night for everyone to go out and let loose. She doesn’t want to be belligerently drunk, no, but just enough to have a good time (and possibly steal a cheeky drunken snog with Harry). Fortunately, Niall was able to get free tickets for show at the same venue he’d taken Bella and Helena to over the summer—the same venue Helena met Adrian. As the girls were getting ready to go out, Bella made a quick comment about how funny it’d be if they ran into him there. Helena laughed along, but deep down she was nervous it may actually happen.

They met the boys at their flat and made their way to the overground station; Harry wraps his arm around Helena’s shoulders as they walk and keeps her body close to his, which was unusual. Harry was never one to show affection in front of their friends (especially Niall and Bella) and he never once put his arm around her while walking. As they sit next to each other on the train, Harry places his hand on her thigh, lightly squeezing it from time to time. Helena was confused, to say the least, but figured Harry was just trying to be better. Maybe he’s just trying to show her that he does care and he doesn’t mind their friends knowing about their relationship.

As they get into the venue, Niall immediately makes a beeline for the bar to greet his old work mates and score some free drinks. He comes back with vodka cranberries for the girls, two pints for himself and Harry, and a tray of tequila shots.

“Oi! What’s this?” Bella shouts out upon seeing Niall carrying the shots over.

“My old coworker wanted us t’have a good night! Free round of shots!” Niall passes out the limes to the group and hands everyone a shot glass. “To second year!” He raises his glass.

“Second year!” They yell in unison before tilting their heads back and quickly swallowing the burning alcohol. If this was any indicator of how the night would go, Helena was more than excited. She wanted nothing more than to drink good liquor, dance to good music, and be with Harry. This was the first time they’d done something with their mates since getting back together—if that’s what they could call it. Helena was happy that she finally got what she yearned for over the past year.

The night started off pretty well. Between the drinks and the music, everyone was having a great time. Niall and Bella danced a bit before they each branched out and met other people in the bar; Harry and Helena, on the other hand, were inseparable. And the more they drank, the more affectionate they became. It started off with the pair dancing fairly close together but eventually they were snogging and grinding against one another in the middle of the crowd. Luckily, as they were surrounded by fellow drunk teenagers, no one seemed to mind all that much. Everything was going great, Helena truly thinks so, but the thought swiftly leaves her mind once she gets to the bar.

As fate would have it, Adrian stands next to Helena while she’s waiting on hers and Harry’s latest round. She didn’t notice him at first but the second he places his order, Helena recognises his voice. Debating whether or not to grab her drinks and runaway, she goes against her better judgement and turns to his direction.

“Adrian!” She says excitedly, “Funny seeing you here.”

His eyes go wide and he looks her over, before softening his expression. “Hi! How’re you?”

“Good, good,” she smiles, “just here with some mates. Niall’s around here somewhere, if you wanted to say hello!”

“Nice, haven’t seen him yet but I’ll keep a lookout.”

It’s awkwardly silent for a beat before the bartender interrupts and hands Adrian his beer bottle; he gestures to Helena and they both walk back into the crowd. Harry, waiting for Helena to return, sees her walking next to Adrian and furrows his brow. Helena wordlessly hands Harry his drink as Adrian stands beside her, introducing himself.

“Hey, mate,” he offers his hand out, “M’Adrian. Friend of Niall’s and Helena’s.” Harry doesn’t accept the handshake or respond to Adrian, instead he turns to Helena.

“How d’yeh know him?” Harry shrugs his shoulder and nods his head in Adrian’s direction. Helena’s heart begins to beat faster as she’s unsure of what to say back. Lying could hurt both of their feelings, but telling the truth could hurt Harry more.

“I met Adrian through Niall,” she replies coolly, “over the summer. He played here one night.”

“Ahh, you’re a musician?” Harry raises an eyebrow, now staring Adrian in the eye. He looks at Helena nervously and she practically pleads with him in just one look to not say anything.

“Yeah,” he clears his throat, “s’how I know Niall.”

“And you met H through Niall?” Harry questions him again, making sure to emphasize his nickname for Helena.

“Yep,” Adrian gives a quick smile to her, “Niall brought her and Bella to our gig.”

“Sorry, I just find it a bit weird that yeh know Niall, and H, and Bella, yet I’ve never seen yeh ‘round.”

“Well, H,” Helena interjects, “you were gone during the summer. Adrian’s got a job so he’s quite busy.”

“Hmm.” Harry hums in response. “Well, m’off to the loo. See yeh later, mate.” Harry smirks at Adrian before walking off.

“I’m really sorry,” Helena explains as soon as Harry’s out of sight, “don’t know what got into him tonight.”

“Is that the bloke you left me for?” Adrian deadpans. Helena, feeling nervous, slightly nods her head yes. “Wow,” he scoffs, “he’s a proper jerk.”

“He’s got his off moments, but he’s a sweet guy.” She tries to convince him, feeling like she’s really attempting to convince herself.

“None of that was sweet, in my opinion. But you can make your own decisions.”

“I’m sorry, truly.” She places her hand on his forearm and he smiles at her.

“I know. I think m’gonna go find my mates now.”

“Okay.” Helena whispers.

“See you around.” Adrian muses before walking away.

Helena stays in her spot, trying to dissect what’s just happened. She hadn’t seen Adrian in almost two months and on the one night she goes out, he happens to be in the same bar as her. Granted, it’s the bar they met in, but still—London’s a big city. She should never run into her ex, she thinks. While still mulling over her thoughts about seeing Adrian again, Helena sets off to find Harry. She knew he was pissed—and he had a right to be—but she needs to set things straight. She needs to tell him the truth.

Helena enters a long hallway marked for the washrooms and sees the women’s room on the right (with a line outside, of course) and the men’s on the left. Hoping she hadn’t missed Harry, she waits along the wall for a few moments before he comes out, eyes widening when seeing her.

“Harry,” she groans as he walks past her, “please don’t ignore me.”

“M’not ignoring you,” he replies, stopping to turn and face her, “I want to leave. Now.” Helena doesn’t say anything but follows him toward the door. She types a quick text to Bella and Niall to let them know she and Harry are heading home as she walks outside into the cool October air. Harry’s situated himself against the wall of the building with his arms crossed and chest heaving.

“S’that the guy?” He mumbles to Helena.

“Yeah, okay, I dated him in the summer!” She waves her arms in the air dramatically.

“Yeh didn’t tell me that Niall introduced you! Niall—my best mate!” Harry starts shouting.

“He didn’t introduce us,” she yells back, “we met through him! S’not like Niall just showed up with Adrian and said, ‘Here’s Helena, go bang now!’—he introduced himself to me!”

Harry’s expression softens and he quietly asks, “Yeh had sex with him?”

“God, Harry, yeah, I did.” She rolls her eyes. “I’m not just some prude that waits around for you! You were gone! You can’t be mad at me for fucking someone else when you did the same, for months!” If things were different, Helena may have reacted differently. If she hadn’t drank so much, if Harry hadn’t been so rude, she would’ve phrased things differently. But unfortunately, life doesn’t allow do-overs.

“I never rubbed it in your face, though!”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Helena laughs to herself. “The first time you told me about Rachel was literally hours after you’d fucked her for the first time. You were practically nude!”

“That’s because you walked into my flat!” Harry points his finger in Helena’s face and her entire demeanor changes. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath in order to calm herself.

“You’re right,” she lowers her volume, “everything is my fault. Always has been. I walked in on you. I brought Adrian to you. It’s all on me.”

“Fuck,” Harry pants, pulling Helena against his body, “m’sorry, m’sorry. I don’t blame yeh, not putting anything on yeh. Just being a dick, m’sorry.” Helena doesn’t say anything, but wraps her hands around his torso and presses her face against his neck. “I’m being a jealous dick, I know. S’just now that I have yeh, I don’t want to think o’you with someone else. But when I met… Him… Couldn’t help myself. M’sorry, love.” He kisses the top of her head.

“I’m sorry, too,” she says, looking up at him, “I should’ve said something to you. Or not been so secretive about it.”

“I’m all in, y’know. M’here for you. I just want to know you’re here fo’me.”

“Always, H. I’ve been here.”

“Show me.” Harry glances down at her. Helena stands on her tip-toes and lays a soft kiss against his lips.

“Okay.” She pulls away from him and grabs his hand, walking down the streets of Shoreditch. She’s been in this area so often that she knows it fairly well and remembers seeing a tattoo shop that’s open late. After a few minutes, they find it and Helena unlaces her fingers from Harry’s as she walks up to the counter and decides what she’s going to get. She signs some paperwork and swipes her card and is then led to the back by the artist. She’s only gone for a moment, it seems, before she comes back out with a bandage over her wrist.

“What’d yeh get?” Harry pulls her arm forward, already removing the plaster to pull the gauze off. On the inside of her right wrist, there’s a small ‘H’ inside of a heart. Helena grins up at Harry as he places the bandage back over the raw tattoo, kissing it.

“You like it?” Helena questions him. Instead of speaking, Harry brings his hands to Helena’s waist and lifts her up, kissing her cheeks while she squeals.

“Love it,” he sighs, placing her back down and kissing the top of her head, “love it so much.” Helena doesn’t respond but lays her head against his chest, peppering kisses over his beating heart. She was his and he was hers and now nothing, absolutely nothing, could ever come between them.

[nightblogofficialbook]

Chapter Three

Also available on the Tapas.io Website, search for Night in the Novels tab!

I don’t know when it was I fell asleep but I must have slept for an entire day because it was already morning again. I turned over, my body feeling heavy but not terrible and my mouth dry and sticky. When I opened my eyes, for a moment I didn’t know where I was. This wasn’t my room. This was too big to be my room. None of my things are here either, and mom would have definitely woken me up before this point.

And then my memory returned, much to my severe disappointment.

I sat up, my hair feeling like a nest on my head, and stretched. That strange tugging sensation made itself known and then grew idle. I sat on the bed for a long while, trying to muster the energy to get up. It was then I noticed a piece of paper sitting in front of my door, having been slid under while I slept probably.

The curiosity worked and I got up to get it, remembering that Rose and Co. still wanted to show me around. I unfolded it.

‘Hey Helen! It’s Rose. I figured you were probably still asleep so we didn’t want to bother you. But I wanted to explain to you briefly how this place works on a day-to-day basis, in case we’re not on break when you wake up. During the weekdays we have a course schedule, and yes, just like school :P Since you’ve never experienced any of this before they want us to have you kinda shadow us for all the classes so you can get some experience, and then when it’s all said and done you’ll be able to pick your own schedule. On the other side of this fold will be all of our schedule and times, and a map if you feel like trying to find us. If not, break periods for us are listed too, so you can just wait in the commons until one of us comes to check on you.’

I blinked. ...Class? Like, school classes? I turned the page over like the note said. A chart was drawn really neatly and concise of each girl’s name and their classes, in order by time. I glanced over at the digital clock on the bedside table. Looks like no one will be back until fifteen minutes from now.

Still feeling...off guard, I got up and went to the bathroom to address the state of my hair. I’ve always been kind of a sleep tosser but I guess last night I really thrashed about. Using the tools already in my bathroom I carefully combed the tangles out of my hair and flattened the morning frizz with a straight iron. The kitty cat pajama tank had my shoulder on full display in the mirror, and for the first time in...I guess only a day, it felt like ages, I was able to see to what extend the damage was.

The bite on my neck was all but gone, only a lingering redness now remained from where that guy, Zain, had bit me. I was amazed at how quickly it was healed, especially for how much I bled.

Ugh, blood.

The brief nausea passed, and I examined the next mark: a now-silver welted crescent scar that sat right between my collarbone and shoulder. I traced it for a moment in shock and a little bit of morbid fascination. It still throbbed a bit, but significantly less. This...was the bite that started this. The one that changed my life. I wonder why it was a crescent and not fang marks, like the other had been? It looked more like someone with human teeth had bit me. I looked closer at it, the shape showing irregularities to it. About where the canines would be on a human bite mark, defined a little more than the rest of the shape, were almost definitely two fang-mark scars set within the rest of the scar.

I shuddered. To bite down with a force that strong...I’m really glad I passed out for that. Maybe that was why I passed out.

After changing into some relaxed day clothes that were available to me I went downstairs to the commons, feeling like I’m on some sort of rich-kid summer camp trip. It was quiet but brightly lit from the sunlight pouring through narrow windows down the rounded walls, the outside just starting to reach the afternoon. Feeling awkward I made my way to the kitchenette area and perused through the cabinets and fridge, looking for something to eat. I opted for snacking on some cheese and saltine crackers, since the rest looked like they belonged to someone or required cooking of some kind, and I didn’t feel comfortable doing that just yet.

The door clicked and in walked Claire, who gave a start of pleasant surprise when she spotted me. “Helen! You’re awake!” She closed the door behind her, smiling. “Good morning! You were out a while, you sleep okay?”

“Yeah,” I replied. “I actually felt pretty rested when I woke up, thanks for letting me sleep.”

“Yeah, cool.” She set her bag down and grabbed the box of goldfish cheese crackers I had passed over from the cabinet. “You get Rose’s letter by chance?”

I nodded. “If I understand right, I’ll be attending classes with you guys?”

“Yeah, it’ll just be for a couple of weeks to help you get used to being in the castle, then you’ll be able to decide what you want to do on your own. Cool thing is, nothing is mandatory.” She grinned, sitting down with the box. “You could just decide you don’t want to go to any of them in the end and chill all day.”

“Wha-really? Then why even bother?”

“Well, a lot of it is still really useful to learn, but mostly because of the perk points.”

“Perk points?”

She nodded, taking a handful of crackers and munching them. “Yeah, you get points based on attendance for class and bonus points for how well you do in them. Vampires get them too. They have a catalog for stuff you get in exchange for them, like new clothes or toys or games or extra snacks.” She shook the box of goldfish. “I like to spend mine on these, though I’m saving up the bulk of them for the excursion trip next spring. We’ll take you to go get your card set up and stuff and you’ll be able to look at the point system, but essentially the more valuable or the less ‘healthy,’” she used air quotes with an eye roll, “an item is, the more points it will cost. And vice versa, the more challenging a class is for you, the more points you get for it.”

“That actually sounds really cool,” I said, amazed.

“I know right? From what I hear about how schools are still done on the outside it’s WAY more awesome.” She glanced at her watch. “Alright, we should probably go head out to my next class, after that all of us have the same dancing class so we’ll trade you off after THAT class, and you’ll have just one more for the day with us.”

My head spun a little, not quite following what she said but I got the jist of it. She grabbed her bag and I followed her through the door into the open hallway of the castle. A fresh breeze drifted from the direction Claire was leading me, and almost as suddenly as we had left the dorm we were outside in open air.

The weather felt wonderful, the deep blue sky spotted with slowly drifting, fluffy clouds, blinking the sunlight in and out every now and then. The temperature was warm and comfortable, not at all like the summer heat it had been for the last month. And there were people. Everywhere. Mostly teens my age, but also adults. Children. I think I even saw a few babies. I was amazed, I never realized how big this place might be. It was like a whole village.

I watched the people pass me by as I followed Claire across the giant square courtyard I had observed just yesterday. Some were having a picnic complete with tablecloth, food, and family. Some were, like us, walking towards a destination in mind, and some were just playing games. It was how I always imagined a college campus would look like, all it was missing was the drunk frat boys and dumb shenanigans.

A wonder crossed my mind after we crossed the courtyard and into a different section of the castle. “Where are the vampires?” I asked.

“They’re asleep, they usually keep to a night habit like the myths used to say. But not all of them,” she added as a young guy with red eyes waved as he passed us, flashing a friendly-fanged smile. Claire waved back with a “hey Greg.”

“But for the most part they do vampire classes at night anyway,” she continued as we stepped into a classroom. “And usually in the other half of the castle. It helps keep traffic in the halls down so things don’t ever get overcrowded and stressful, and to keep some from getting too stressed out by the abundance of human smells.”

We sat down at desks and I was surprised about how...normal it was. It was just a math class, same as the one I failed a few days ago, only this teacher seemed pretty enthused. She talked over the coursework with passion, answering any questions that were asked and even re-explained some things in an easier to digest manner. I found I was able to follow along really well despite having to jump in the middle of a learning section.

Claire, on the other hand, looked like she was struggling to keep up, and hard. She was bent over her practice worksheet, looking relaxed but frustrated. I thought about asking her why she was taking the class if it was that hard on her, but then remembered how she explained the points, and her goal. I silently nodded to myself at the ingenious system they have here. It was a good way to motivate everyone to have a goal, and work towards it, but without forcing anyone to overstress about it.

And hour and a half had come and gone since we sat down, and class was dismissed. Claire stretched and groaned as we walked out.

“Man, I am so not good at math,” she said.

“Me neither, but that teacher was really good.”

“I know right? They don’t let anyone teach if they’re not up for the task. Anyway, I forgot about lunch between now and the next class, and…” she suddenly looked as if she was having an epiphany. “Oh yeah lunch! Dude!” She grabbed my shoulders excitedly. “You gotta see the food court they have here!”

My eyes widened and her excitement rubbed off. “They have a food court?”

…

They have a food court.

And it was incredible.

IMMEDIATELY, once I walked to the vicinity of its existence, I was hit by a myriad of delicious freshly cooked food smells. I’m talking bakeries, skillet cooks, sandwich bars, BBQ, breakfast food, lunch, italian, asian, and everything in between. I could hardly believe my eyes. I could hardly believe my nose. It was like there was a food festival going on.

Claire grinned at my expression. “Pretty cool, huh?” she nudged me.

“Claire…” I said, flabbergasted still. “Oh my god. I want to cry.” She laughed and took my hand, taking me to all of the booths and mini restaurant bars. Each one seemed to know her on a personal level, and, as she explained that I was new, free sample after free sample began to fill my tray.

“This is so much food,” I said in amazement.

“Yeah, I’ll be honest, I’m kinda pimping you out,” she admitted sheepishly as we headed for a table. “Normally you’re only allowed up to 2 free servings per mealtime, and any more is a point exchange.”

“Well, it worked,” I said, still incredulous. “Glad to be of help.”

“Helen! Claire! Over here!”

Rose was flagging us down; the twins and Wendy were already seated with her, in addition to a few people I haven’t met yet. We joined them at the table.

“Helen, this is Mike and this is Jason, they’re childhood friends of ours. Guys, this is Helen.”

Mike, who had short black hair and a shallow jawline and fair skin, gave a polite wave. Jason, who was far less reserved with bronzy-blonde hair, brown eyes, and a fairly strong jaw and nose, gave me a friendly lopsided smile and a look of interest.

“Um, hi,” I said nervously, sitting down next to Claire with my huge tray of food.

“Introductions later, it’s food time,” Claire said, excitedly picking out a sample from our haul.

I tasted as much as the food as I could, and shared the rest. Everyone chatted about their day so far and classes they were in and I politely listened, feeling a little happy. No, that’s not right. I was feeling a lot of happy. Everything was bright, and light, and friendly. Everyone was open and relaxed and feeling good. The tension I had been holding in my shoulders released.

And then suddenly something hot and soupy was dumped over the top of my head and into my lap. Claire leapt out of the way to avoid the splash, everyone else jumped in shock. I sat still, trying to process why there was suddenly chicken broth all over me.

“Oops,” spoke girl’s bored voice. Everyone’s eyes widened when they saw who stood behind me. I turned around.

She stood to be roughly my height with dark blonde hair pulled back in a bun, her blue eyes piercing cold and her expression haughty. She very clearly was holding an empty bowl, still over my head. I blinked.

“Sorry,” she said in the most uncaring manner possible. “Sometimes I don’t quite pay attention to where I’m going and things just…” Her eyes grew cold and vicious, reminding very much of Zain’s, and with a jolt I recognized her. “...happen, you see. But, I’m sure YOU, of all people, would understand, wouldn’t you Helen?”

“Hey, look, I-”

“Well,” she interrupted, ignoring me and addressing the entourage of people who were snickering behind her. “I supposed I should try to get more soup. I do hope they understand the little accident.”

“Oh, of course, Lady Victoria!”

“It was an accident after all.”

“I’m sure they’ll understand.”

“You can have mine, M’lady, if they can’t make an exception!”

“Thanks, guys,” she cooed to her little group as they left. “You’re the best.”

I sat there, dumbfounded, as they walked away, and turned back forward.

“...what just happened to me?”

“You got souped apparently,” Claire chimed, to which Rose reprimanded her.

“Don’t worry, we’ll help you get cleaned up, we can skip the next class if we need to,” Rose offered. I shook my head.

“It’s okay, I’ll just go get cleaned up and meet you guys there,” I said, my voice surprisingly normal considering I was drenched.

Claire looked at me in surprise. “You sure?”

I nodded. “Yeah, I have a map, and I’m surprisingly good with directions.” Except apparently when I’m in a hurry, I thought blandly to myself.

“If you’re certain…” Rose said, uncertain. “The next class is on the same floor, in the east ward across from this one. There’s four doors to enter from so it shouldn’t be hard to find as long as you make it to the right section.”

I thanked her and stood up, saying bye to Mark and Jason. They offered words of encouragement and good luck with cleaning up. Pulling out the map(which miraculously avoided getting souped as well) and going by what I remembered seeing on the way here I traced my way back to the dorms. Everyone I passed stared and muttered to themselves, some with pity, some with wonder. I couldn’t blame them for it, since I’d probably end up doing the same thing, and did my best to ignore it.

After a successful shower and change of clothes, it was now four o’clock, about fifteen minutes past when that class was supposed to start. I made my way across the courtyard to the ward across from the lunch area, now wishing I had eaten maybe just a little bit more and debating on whether I should even show up. The sun was in the second half of the sky, and by now majority of everyone out and about had gone back to wherever their own dorms were. It was crazy how many people actually live here.

I found the four doors Rose was talking about and heard music inside. Confused, I looked at the written schedule she had given. “No…” I opened the door, suddenly remembering with dread a small detail Claire had mentioned before.

Inside was a very large convention-style room, chairs stacked high against the wall. A large amount of people were scattered out in pairs, observing the teacher as he demonstrated what almost looked like a waltz with no partner.

Dancing. Great, just great...my stomach dropped, and as it did the subtle pulling sensation heightened.

The door slammed shut behind me before I could catch it and suddenly all eyes were on me. I flinched, feeling extremely embarrassed. “Sorry…”

“Not at all!” the teacher enthused. “Come in, come in! You must be Miss Morris.”

I sheepishly made my way to the edge of the wall out of the way but still in view, suddenly very aware of the fact that about 50% of the pairs of eyes still on me were red. I swallowed nervously.

“Alright, now I want everyone to try, on my count. Remember, you’re not looking for speed, you’re looking for precision. Make every move count until it becomes second nature. Now, one-two-three, one-two-three…” he flicked a finger in the air and suddenly music was playing.

I watched everyone try the steps, spotting the girls pretty quickly as they were having the most fun. Rose was paired up with Jason from before, Suzanne and Alice had decided to dance with each other -which made their synchronization so perfect it was almost creepy- and Claire was dancing with Wendy. Feet were stepped on, laughter was heard, partners were bumped into, it was an amusing scene. I smiled a little to myself, wishing I could join them.

I let my gaze wander around as the teacher also wandered amongst the dancers, giving form advice and praise as he passed them. I was amazed at how many vampires were here, considering it wasn’t really after dark just yet. Most were paired up with their own kind, but some had paired up with humans, a little to my surprise. And it looked like everyone was having fun.

“Hello Helen,” the teacher’s voice drew my attention to him; he had made his way over to where I stood, quietly addressing me. “May I call you that?” he asked sincerely.

“Sure?” I replied. He was pretty young looking for someone in charge of teaching a class, I would guess maybe super early twenties. His eyes were a deep hazel that seemed to change colors under different light angles, from blue to green to brown, and somehow all of the colors. His skin was fair and soft, his hair a short sandy brown that reminded me of some popular british actor I remember people fawning over. He was pretty attractive for sure, but something was strangely familiar about him.

“Excellent.” He looked relieved. “Allow me to introduce myself; my name is Dmitri. Some of my students call me ‘D’ but whether that be your preference to refer to me is entirely up to you.”

“Thanks, it’s nice to meet you.”

“And likewise you. Now, I understand that you are quite new to the castle, and that today is your first day during your adjustment period, so by all means don’t feel obligated to join right away if you don’t feel comfortable. We have a bit of an odd number currently so there would be no problems if you wish to sit out for now. But, if you do wish to join in, I would have no problems getting you up to speed.”

“U-um, thanks,” I replied, grateful for the extended invitation and surprised at how quickly he seemed to understand. “I think I’ll pass this time around...since there’s an odd number and all.”

He chuckled a little. “Not too fond of dancing?”

I grimaced. “How did you know?”

“I have been teaching dance for quite a while now, I can tell. I imagine you feel your skills are quite inadequate to even attempt the practice.”

“That’s an understatement,” I joked, feeling strangely relaxed around him. “My mom tried to get me into dancing for a while. I accidently broke the instructors foot once.” He laughed softly and I smiled a little. “She politely requested that I try out other hobbies after that.”

He looked outward, observing the dancing pairs in front of us. “Well, I won’t force you if you truly don’t want to dance, but if you ever feel interested, I would gladly be up for the challenge.”

He went back out to address a couple that had fallen over, helping them to their feet and explaining to them what had gone wrong. I smiled a little, feeling a little fuzzy inside, like I just gained a big brother. Dmitri seemed really sweet. The pessimism in my brain made me really hope he didn’t turn out to just have been flirting with an underage girl though. It didn’t seem that way, but...I’ve been wrong about people before.

Suddenly there was a strangely violent tug in the pit of my gut towards a single direction in the room. I looked up in surprise, holding my sides despite the fact that there really wasn’t an obvious origin to this sensation, and stiffened. One couple was dancing through the sea of everyone like wind through trees, effortlessly making every single person in this room look like stumbling baby deer. Their legs moved with practiced elegance, as easy as if it were breathing, their eyes almost bored and in another world. Zain and Victoria.

My stomach clenched with guilt and a twinge of jealousy. They looked good together. Perfect for eachother, I thought bitterly, remembering Zain’s childish aggression and Victoria’s stunt from today. Their skills looked matched, and though they seemed bored in this classroom environment, they looked relaxed. Comfortable.

Zain’s eyes darted my way and I looked down instinctively, my heart pounding for a moment, and then felt bitterness replace my emotions. It should have been her. I shouldn’t have ever been involved. Why did I end up at that clearing? Why did he have to bite me?

I heard a quiet tch! and looked up with just my eyes. The two had slowed to a stop, Zain’s face furrowed in frustration.

“What is it?” I heard Victoria ask, worried.

“It’s nothing,” he responded in a low voice.

Her eyes darted to me and I pretended to be watching the other people.

“Is it her?”

He gave her a small smile and stroked her cheek; a sharp pang hit my chest for a moment. “Don’t worry about it, okay?”

She still looked worried. “Okay.” Her eyes narrowed furiously towards me soon as he looked elsewhere. I pretended not to have noticed but I could feel the daggers emanating from her.

“Alright, I think that’ll wrap things up today!” Dmitri called out, clapping his hands. The music fades out and everyone gathered up any bags and things they had brought. He waved his hands and suddenly all of the chairs stacked against the walls unstacked and arranged themselves in the space everyone was just occupying. “Next class we’ll do a few more practice motions, and then try out partner changes. I look forward to seeing you all again.”

“Helen!”

The girls and Jason came over to me excitedly. The fact that I just saw legit magic fell to the back of my mind as I smiled a little at them.

“You made it!” Rose exclaimed. “We saw you talking to Dmitri, what did you think?”

“Dancing...really isn’t my thing,” I admitted carefully. “I’ve never been very good with the whole foot-body coordination thing.”

“She actually meant about D,” Claire snickered.

“I was talking about the class too,” Rose blushed slightly.

I thought for a moment. “He seems...pretty nice I guess. I mean, I just met him, at least I’ve gotten to know you guys for a bit.”

“Yeah, D is pretty chill,” Jason commented as we walked out of the room. I felt that elastic cord-feeling tug at me again and glanced back a moment, distracted by seeing Zain and Dmitri talking. Victoria wasn’t anywhere, I guess she had already left. The sight of the two felt vaguely familiar again, though.

“And take it from me,” Claire continue to speak, and I realized I had missed part of the conversation. “Dmitri is a SUPER good guy. He’s actually the one I told you about that saved me from my stupid aunt and uncle.”

“Wait what?” I asked, confused. “I thought you said that it was a vampire who took you.”

“Yeah, that was Dmitri,” she said. “It was his first time travelling with the embassy he said, I think.”

I looked back, but we had already gone out of sight, and then tried to collect my thoughts. “But...he...his eyes were…?”

“Ohhhhh right right right, I forgot about that,” Claire clapped in realization. “Yeah, vampires don’t ACTUALLY have red eyes, they just turn that color when they’re stressed out. Something something biology makes them turn red but they actually have fairly normal eye colors, for the most part.”

“It has to do with the way cortisol affects their system,” Alice spoke up. “They’re pretty human-based to begin with, so there's a lot of similarities, but there’s a chemical in their irises that causes it to glow red  with the presence of stress hormones.”

“It used to be because they were always stressed when hungry,” Claire added. “That’s why it’s a pretty common addition to the myth. Also pretty scary.”

“But now it’s just because they have anxiety like the rest of us,” Suzanne finished.

“But...everyone’s eyes are red?”

“Well yeah, duh,” Claire smirked amusedly. “The heir and leader of their home was supposed to be bonded with a chosen Bride to solidify their strengths and safety, but something happened and word has spread that some rando is now the Bride.”

“They feel their future is uncertain,” Rose explained gently. “Humans, too. No one knows anything about you or what benefit or detriment you might bring.”

Jason stopped. “Hold on, wait…” He stared at me, his expression stiff. “You’re the…?”

“Oh shoot,” Rose swore. “I didn’t want to say anything yet, I’m sorry Jason.”

“It’s okay, I just…” he shook his head. “Damn…”

“U-um,” I started awkwardly. “Is that bad?”

“No, I just didn’t want it to be spread around just yet,” Rose admitted sheepishly. “I wanted to make sure you were comfortable first. I figured it would be awkward for you if everyone suddenly tried to avoid you and address you as ‘Lady’ and ‘ma’am’ and so on.”

“Do you...want to be addressed that way?” Jason asked nervously.

“Oh, god no,” I assured him quickly, and remembered Dmitri asking if my name was okay. “Please, Helen is just fine.”

He relaxed, relieved. “Lady Victoria all but demands everyone refer to her as Lady Victoria.”

“I’m definitely not doing that,” I grumbled. “Not after what she did today. I mean, I understand where’s she coming from but…”

They glanced at each other with worry, and I could tell they had something to say but didn’t want to say it.

I sighed. “Anyway, about Dmitri and the vampire eye thing.”

“Right,” Claire shuffled. “Um, that was probably it, honestly. Vampire’s look like people except when they’re stressed.”

“And they’re all scared of me,” I joked a little. They laughed a bit.

“Give it a few weeks,” Rose assured. “Everyone will have calmed down again. Your arrival shouldn’t effect Lord Zain’s ability to run the castle.”

“That reminds me,” I said, “how does age work for vampires? He looks like he’s our age. And Dmitri looked pretty young, too.”

“They’re about how they appear to be,” Rose explained. “Lord Zain is seventeen I think, Dmitri is...twenty-five?” My eyebrows lifted. “The ones who are born will age the same way humans do, just a little bit slower.”

“They stop aging when they reach about Dmitri’s age,” Alice chimed “At that point the body just doesn’t need to grow anymore.”

“And then they live foreeeeeever,” Claire added dramatically.

“Except the ones who are made,” Suzanne said sadly. “They’re stuck at whatever age they turned. Their bodies freeze in time, but their mind will continue to deteriorate.”

I swallowed. “So then...are most vampires born?”

“Mostly. Accidents can...happen though,” Rose admitted.

“That’s why they don’t let vampires do any biting,” Claire said. “The ones that turn usually have this weird desire to create more vampires, which would be a problem, and you have to basically drink vampire blood and die in order to turn, so keeping them away during feeding times prevents that.”

“Will...will I ever be turned?”

“Bride are a little different,” Rose responded this time. “You’d have to want to turn in order for it to work, because of the mutual agreement the bond creates between human and vampire, otherwise you’d probably just...die. And you’d be different than a turned vampire, because your partner would still be able to feed from you.”

“It’s not really a necessary procedure,” Alice added, “so I don’t think you’ll have to worry about that.”

My head spun. This was a lot of information to process. “Wait, one more question, if vampires live forever, what about the human Brides?”

“You’ll live forever too,” Alice answered simply. “It would be bad if their only food source died of old age. It’s part of the changes that now allow you to choose to become a vampire if you wanted it.”

“Yeah, it’s kinda like you’re half vampire!” Claire joked, and my chest tightened. Half vampire...I put my hand on my shoulder again where the bite mark still twinged every now and then.

Everyone split up at the edge of the center courtyard, Claire and twins heading back to the dorm, Jason heading back to his, and Rose going to her class. I was scheduled to follow Wendy next.

“This way,” she spoke, her voice soft and quiet like a whisper.

I followed, feeling awkward as I realized that this was probably the first time I’ve heard her speak. She was extremely reserved and somewhat nervous, every so often fidgeting with her fingers and not looking up anywhere. I wasn’t sure if it was because of me or if she was just...like that. I sympathized though. Up till now it was easy to borrow off of everyone’s energies to relax and adjust. The presence of her anxiety, though, kind of kept mine at bay.

“So, we’re going to...whoa, Horse Care and Management, whaaat?” I tried to give a friendly smile. “There are horses here??”

She nodded. “Yeah. They’re very gentle creatures, and understanding. I like them.”

I stared off in the distance with a small grin as we walked down an open stone hallway and away from the castle, feeling just a little excited now all on my own. I had never been on a horse, or near one for that matter. Wendy’s cheeks swelled as she smiled, and it seemed like she relaxed a little more. The stables came into view as we rounded the corner and the stone floors turned into a dirt path. The smell of fresh barnhouse and hay wafted through the air, growing bolder as we got closer.

Not many people showed up for this class, it seemed. In fact, as far as I could tell at least, it was mostly vampires here. A girl no older than us was currently setting out harnesses and saddles, wearing heavy duty working gloves and clothing, with a red bandana around her neck and a wide straw sun hat. She greeted us when we approached, then beamed at Wendy.

“Hey! Good afternoon, glad ya guys can make it!” She gave a wide grin. “Looks like some newcomers today, Welcome! I’m Amber, I’m kinda second-in-command runnin’ the stables here with my ma and her sisters, I’ll be teaching ya guys all about horses!”

“Last week I got most of ya introduced to the residents here, so today we’re gonna learn the proper ways to clean the equipment. It’s easy enough, but ya gotta do it right or the leather will get too hard, or just not clean at all. And if you don’t clean it well, ‘specially the reins and the bit, you can get the horses sick and we don’ want that.” She went through the proper techniques for getting started and had everyone start a piece of equipment. “Newbies follow me for a sec,” she called out, and to my surprise I wasn’t the only new person.

“Hey,” a young vampire guy, eyes still red, greeted me shyly after we followed Amber and then were told to wait. “You new to this class too?”

“Uh, yeah,” I responded, feeling just a tad awkward.

He smiled forward nervously as we waited for Amber to come back, running a hand across the back of his neck. He looked a bit older than me, his skin dark and his body pretty lanky and tall. Like, a whole-head-taller-than-me tall.

“I’ve never even been around one of these things before,” he admitted after a few seconds of silence.

“Me neither,” I said, deciding to try and make small talk at least. “I’ve always wanted to though, they looked pretty cool.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, and then stuck his hand out. “I’m Adrian, by the way.”

“Helen,” I replied automatically, shaking his hand.

“Helen huh,” he laughed nervously. “That funny, I think that’s the same name as that girl from outside the castle.

“Yeah,” I responded nervously, unsure whether to say anything about that. “Pretty...pretty interesting.”

Luckily Amber had already come back, leading a tall chestnut color horse. It had a white kite shape mark that spanned from it’s forehead down to its nose.

“This is Bitey,” Rose said, and Adrian stiffened next to me. “Don’t let the name fool ya, he used to be chomper when he was little but he’s quite behaved now. C’mon over and say hello!”

We both hesitated for just a moment, and then I stepped forward, feeling a little excited. The horse’s ears swiveled my way as I came up to it from the side, and he turned his head towards me.

“Hold yer hand out, fingers down,” Rose instructed gently. Behind me Adrian watched carefully as I did as told. The horse balked back a little, and then stretched out to sniff my hand. After a few seconds I reached forward to pet its muzzle. Adrian let out a breath of relief behind me.

“Now, horses are very sensitive animals, they can pick up on yer feelings pretty quick,” she said as Adrian worked up enough courage to come up beside me to also pet the horse. “They can be pretty skittish themselves, so it’s very important that ya introduce yourself properly.”

She had us step away after a moment of petting to demonstrate. “Ya always want to try and approach from a diagonal and make sure they can see ya. Cuz if ya watch him,” she stood at a severe angle from the back, “see his ears? They’re swiveled back cuz he knows I’m back here but he can’t see me. And if walk closer now,” she did, and he stepped away from her. “he’ll back up. It’s pretty nerve-wracking to have someone come up from where you don’t see em. That’s why it’s also a good idea to make sure you talk to em too. That way they can hear you and you don’t sneak up on em. NEVER sneak up on a horse unless you wanna get kicked in the teeth.”

Amber continued to explain how to approach and be around horses, how to present yourself, what to do if a horse charges at you, and had us practice approaching conduct correctly with Bitey. The whole time Adrian was very nervous, which I found just a little funny, all things considered; he could probably and easily take this animal down. It was a little alarming even. But then again...I hadn’t actually seen any proof that vampires have super strength or anything, I’ve just sort of assumed. A small spark of guilt set in my chest as I realized that...they really might be just like humans. Just people with different survival needs.

After a bit more practice she then had us rejoin the rest of the class to learn how to clean the tack, giving us the bit and saddle that Bitey had on. I went back to Wendy, who smiled at me and looked very relaxed and content. She was already drying off her piece of tack and had a couple bottles of some sort of leather oil.

The last half of the class was spent learning how to properly dry and oil the leather to help preserve its reliability, and just as the sun began to set everything was wrapped up and put away. I walked back with Wendy feeling strangely accomplished.

“That was...really cool!” I exclaimed with elation. Wendy nodded, smiling happily and quietly. “Like, never did I ever even think I would get to do something like that, not without paying a LOT of money.”

“It’s my favorite class,” she smiled quietly. “The horses really understand.”

I nodded, and remembered the vampire I had pet Bitey with, Adrian, and remembered how nervous he seemed but also how friendly. The horse wasn’t afraid of him, and prey animals are usually good at sensing predators. I thought about Dmitri, who I had no idea was a vampire, who wanted to make sure I felt comfortable with where I was. I thought about everyone I had met today, unable to help but compare it to how my life was before and how the people I had to deal with before. Against my inner denial about this whole situation, this...didn’t seem so bad so far. This actually felt...better.

We made it back to the dorms uninterrupted and I told everyone I was going to go ahead and turn in for the night, feeling exhausted. The gibbous moon had risen high enough already to cast some light in my darkened room, but I turned on a lamp anyway. The ambient lighting combined felt cozy and warm, but my room still felt too big, too open. Absentmindedly I walked to the window and opened it, then realized it had a balcony and climbed out onto it.

The night was pleasantly crisp for summertime. The sky was clear and bright as the moon’s light was cast down upon the world. Out ahead of me lay a sea of trees, and just beyond that were islands of houses. Neighborhoods. If I stared hard enough, I could almost spot the neighborhood I live in. Lived in. I breathed in and let out a sigh as I leaned against the railing, my mind debating with itself.

I shouldn’t be here. I should be at home. I should be helping mom get dinner ready, calling Emily to help her with homework. Sleeping in our run-down cozy house. Dealing with the same idiots entering the same society as me. I’m already starting to forget I’ve been kidnapped; this sense of open freedom is wrong, it’s a lie.

I looked down. It was only two, maybe three stories between here and the ground, and maybe only fifty meters between the castle and the surrounding wall. I could sneak away. I could do the bedsheet thing, anchor to the railing and then try to latch it to the decorations that topped the wall. I could go home, and try to ignore everything, pretend it was all just a bad dream.

Something lurched in my center, violently yanking at some core within me in an up-and-backwards direction. It was almost painful except for the fact that it didn’t feel real, didn’t feel tangible. I grabbed the railing to brace and support myself, my lips pressed tight in bitterness. That sensation continued to pull at me, almost like it was begging me to follow it. To follow it back to the one who bit me.

There would be no escaping that. There’s no undoing it, it would always be there. Following me, everywhere I go, no matter how far I would go. And he could probably follow it back to me. They’d find me, maybe even hurt my mom, maybe even go after Emily, and they would bring me back.

I sunk to my knees on the balcony, leaning my forehead against the railing as tears slowly filled my eyes and rolled down my cheeks. I had fun today. Today hadn’t been bad at all. Sure, I got soup dumped on me, but that was just one incident. Everyone was nice. I wasn’t caged, I wasn’t supervised. I was even allowed to make my way back to the dorms, all on my own. It was only the second day since I arrived. I could have gone somewhere else entirely. But I didn’t. Because being here today has been better than any other day in my entire life. I didn’t want to be here. But I wanted to be here.

“What’s wrong with me…?” I whispered out loud.

I don’t remember ever going back inside, but when I woke up I was in my bed. It was still dark out, the clock read just past 1 a.m. I sat up, still in the clothes I had changed into. I tucked my knees to my chest and sat there for a moment. My cheeks were sticky where my tears had dried.

The strange tugging sensation gave a nudge, not as violently as earlier, but subtly. As if giving me a suggestion. Without really thinking about it, I got up and went downstairs into the commons area, letting the tug pull me forward.

It was quiet in the room; plug-in lights with motion sensors lit up as I got closer to them, making the room have a strange dream-like glow. The girls were all still upstairs, sound asleep. The fridge in the kitchenette area kicked on with a hum for a few seconds before quieting down again. I paused like this for a little while, absorbing the atmosphere. Observing it. And then let my body be pulled forward again and out the door.

The halls were dim and quiet too. The carpet was soft but firm underneath my feet, muffling the noises of the world. I continued forward, my mind still in an almost fugue-like state. I didn’t care where I was going. I didn’t care where this pulling sensation would take me. None of it mattered anyway. Nothing I did would matter.

I came to the courtyard hub area that we crossed to get to the different areas of the human quarters, the Day wing, where classes usually occur. No one was here, but yet I could feel them here. The presence of people, the sounds echoed like the ghosts of a past memory occurring presently. I looked around and could almost see them. There wasn’t anyone here.

I felt a presence, a real presence, land behind me, and the direction of the tugging shifted and changed. I didn’t turn around or react, already knowing who and what it was but feeling nothing.

“Why are you here?” I heard his voice speak. It was soft, curious, and sad. A wave of somber confusion washed across me, but not my own. I turned around.

Zain stood right where he had landed, facing me. His eyes were firm but gentle, his expression matched the feelings in his voice. His hair shimmered in the moonlight, his red eyes glowing softly. He wasn’t angry, he wasn’t frustrated or resentful. Just...lost. Sad and lost, and looking for answers.

“I followed my heart,” I replied.

He looked on in confusion, observing me, his eyes searching. His heart searching. It felt like I could see it, his heart, reflected in his eyes.

“Why are you here?” he asked again after a moment, differently.

Tears welled up in my eyes. “I don’t know,” I answered softly. “I don’t know…”

His expression changed into a look of helpless anguish. “Why are we here?” he asked again.

And then my eyes opened.

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[a-lonely-ass-hoe]

Reynolds Pamphlet

Eliza x Fem!Reader Modern AU ____________________________________ "Alexander take a break!"

"You know I have to get this plan through congress!"

~~~~~~~~~

Eliza Hamilton walked to the lake that she wanted to visit with Alexander. She had on shorts and a blouse, and a book just to read. When she arrived she saw the empty bench and sat quietly gazing at the sunset. A couple of minutes passed and a young lady appeared, she was around Eliza's age. She had a picnic basket and a book in hand, she too was wearing something similar to Eliza.

"I'm sorry for interrupting, I didn't know that someone was gonna be here."

"No don't worry, I just wanted to read my book."

"Oh me too!" the young lady smiles. She sets down a blanket and lays down to read her book. After a couple of minutes of silence, the girl speaks.

"I'm sorry for interrupting again but do you want to eat? I have some snacks and wine?"

"Wine!?"

She giggles and blushes, "Yeah...."

"I don't see why not it's a beautiful day."

Eliza sat down on the blanket, the young lady takes out crackers, cheese and all kinds of fruit, and a bottle of white wine.

"I don't know the name of the person who is about to feed me?" "Oh I forgot to introduce myself! Y/N Y/L/N."

"Elizabeth Hamilton but you can call me Eliza."

The women drink and talk to eachother about their lives.

"So what brings you here? I come here almost every weekend and I have never seen you here."

"I don't live here. I was just visiting my father with my sister and children."

"You're Phillip Schuyler's daughter?"

"My dad and him are best friends but I lived with my mom in another house until my mom died and I moved in with my dad and I have the house to myself."

"Is your father rarely home?"

"No he died and now the house is mine, I live there with my daughter, she's 8 years old."

"Oh I'm sorry!"

"It's alright. So you said your last name was Hamilton, are you married?"

"Yes and I have two kids, the oldest is Phillip and he is 10 and Angelica she's 8."

"Where's your husband?"

"Back home, he had to stay for work."

"I see."

"What about you?"

"I had a husband but then I found out he was cheating. So I divorced him and that was about a year ago."

"Oh I'm--"

"It's ok don't worry." She giggles at Eliza's behavior.

They keep talking about their lives and later on exchange numbers and go back to their children. While Eliza stays she begins to cherish moments with Y/N more and more. For the first time in a long time Eliza feels loved, she feels as if she has finally been given the attention she needed. She was sad when she had to go back home but she was happy to see Alexander her beloved husband again.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Eliza and Y/N texted almost everyday, sending pictures of the kids and updating eachother on books they should read and they even started reading a book series together. Both trying to out-read the other. It had been a year of them texting and face-timing. Over the course of the year the both of them had fallen in love with eachother. Eliza didn't know this at the time, but Y/N had already begun to realize why each time she talked to Eliza she got butterflies or why she was never hungry or why she was always happy after talking to Eliza.

One day Y/N is looking through Instagram and she scrolls to see a screenshot of a blog post. What caught her attention was the word Reynolds Pamphlet and the name of the user alexanderhamilton. The last name reminded her of Eliza so she began to read. At first she thought it was a coincidence that he had the same last name as her crush. She soon realized it was Eliza's husband. She quickly sent the link to Eliza and waited until she would reply

As soon as Eliza heard her phone she quickly grabbed it hoping for it to be Y/N. She sees that Y/N had sent a link of a post. She was waiting to see a cute video of animals or a funny video of someone falling over, but no. It was a post about her husband and his sex scandal. Soon every news tabloid was covering the scandal.

Eliza was heartbroken. How could he!? She thought. Eliza went to her shared bedroom and sat on their shared bed. She cried and sobbed. Her children? How would they see their father? Did Alexander even love her? A load of questions running through her mind along with her best friend. Soon Angelica arrived and hugged her, she loved Angelica and she felt slightly better. But nothing could help with her pain, except for Y/N but she didn't want to accept that fact yet. When Alexander came home everyone could hear Angelica screaming at him. The children laid in bed, barely understanding.

Alex had written her love letters while they dated. He sent her texts and emails while she was away. She couldn't look at them again. She began to light the letters on fire and deleted all trace of him on her phone. When she deleted the last of his messages a new message came up.

Y/N <3:  If you don't want to be near your husband you can always stay at my place. I know the situation you're in and I figured I could help and since I'm your best friend.

Eliza: Thank you Y/N, I think I will stay with my father but I will visit you everyday.

Eliza's heart warmed up. Weeks later Eliza took the children and stayed with her father, just to get way from Alexander. Angelica had gone back to London to her husband. Eliza had no one except Y/N.

Everyday Eliza and Y/N would go to the lake. Both would bring books and some days it was the both of them on the same blanket that Y/N had brought on the day they met, other days were both talking on and on about any topic. While Y/N's feelings for Eliza grew more, she had to remind herself that Eliza was in love with Alexander. Meanwhile, Y/N was in her own thought, Eliza began to think of Y/N every second of the day. She began to feel butterflies in her stomach and she began to feel nervous around Y/N.

Eliza felt happy and appreciated around Y/N, Y/N gave Eliza all the attention in the world. She felt love, something she felt Alexander never gave her, something he only gave her at the beginning of the relationship. Maybe just the first 3 months, and here she was a year into this friendship and she still felt the same attention, love, appreciation since the beginning.

Eliza didn't want to believe she had fallen in love again. Especially so quickly! But the more she thought and thought. She began to realize that she had always been in love with Y/N. Ever since she visited the lake, since the moment the first words came out of her mouth.

She would soon have to move back and think of divorcing Alexander and child support and everything else that came with that. She didn't want to leave, she wanted to express her love to Y/N.

The night before she left she decide she would write a note. She would write a letter to Y/N and what she meant to her and how much she loved her. Eliza wrote this letter, and it took her all night but she didn't have enough courage to leave it at the lake. She wanted to tell Y/N, face to face, so that if it went well she could finally kiss her. Something she had been longing to do.

The ride home, Eliza had Y/N on her mind. She stayed home everyday and Alexander would stay in his office most days. Eliza had had enough of being married to Alexander, she wanted to be single and available for Y/N. She had hope that Y/N loved her too.

"Alexander."

"Eliza!?"

"I want a divorce."

"But--I- are you sure?"

"Yes."

He sighed and wanted to cry but knew that what he did was wrong and he didn't deserve Eliza.

"I will get the divorce papers and sign them."

"What about the children?"

"They could stay with you since I am always working. But I get to see them whenever I want."

"Fine."

"And yes I will pay child support."

"Alright."

Eliza walked out and sighed happily and walked to her room. She couldn't wait till everything was fixed. She texted Y/N everyday and kept her update on the divorce and everything else. Soon weeks became months and everything was finalized. Eliza stayed in the house and Alex moved in with John Laurens. Alex had wanted to take the kids to Disney for their spring break and Eliza agreed, she took this as her opportunity to visit Y/N.

When she arrived Y/N opened the door. With her hair tied up and in a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt. Eliza thought she looked beautiful, Eliza didn't know whether to hug her or kiss her or do anything really. Y/N smiled and hugged Eliza she allowed her to pass.

"Where's Violet?"

"Her dad wanted to take her for a trip, cause she has been great in school."

"I see, so it's just you and me?"

"Yep."

"Wanna do a movie marathon?"

"Disney?"

"Obviously!"

Both of the girls entered the house and made popcorn and got blankets. Both sat on the couch and put in Beauty and ther Beast, they cuddled until the movie finished. Eliza realized Y/N was asleep in her arms. Eliza stroked her head and kissed it. Y/N felt the kiss and smiled. The next morning they both woke up and made breakfast, then they went to the lake to read almost the entire day. Later that evening they decided to watch a movie but this time wine and pizza were involved. Eliza and Y/N were pretty tipsy, telling eachother about highschool crushes and memories. They both laughed about how they were cheated on.

"You know both of us were cheated on."

"Ha your right."

"I would never cheat on you."

"Neither would I, like Alexander is stupid."

"Well your ex-husband is stupid. I don't know his name."

"Ha I don't care about him anymore."

"Who do you care about then?"

"You know... My daughter. You?"

"I care about my children and family and you."

Y/N smiles.

"But what I meant was if you loved anyone?"

"Oh yeah, but they probably don't love me in that way."

"Oh you have a crush?"

"Kinda yeah. You?"

"Yeah I didn't realize it until Alexander did what he did. Kind of glad he did it though cause this person treats me like I'm the only girl in the world."

"What's his name?"

"Y/N."

"They have my same name!?"

"It's you."

"It's me?"

"Yes you."

Y/N quickly moves towards Eliza and kisses her. The kiss is passionate and Eliza quickly begins to kiss back. That night they ended up in Y/N's bedroom cuddling in between the sheets. Both of them talked about their feelings and both of them knew that life was going to be better.

[badacts]

protective parental units

If Andrew ever wondered, back when he was a teenager, where he would end up in his thirties, it wouldn’t have been doing a school run. At all, never mind with his kid.

Life is unpredictable, it turns out.

On Thursdays he picks Kevin up from school after work and drops him at the local outdoor Exy court for practice. Neil will pick him up later on the way back from his own afternoon gym session with his teammates, which gives Andrew an hour or so to do nothing before he has to start dinner.

He’s been in for maybe twenty minutes watching something mindless on HGTV about redecorating kitchens when the buzzer goes off. Andrew isn’t expecting anyone and debates ignoring it for a moment, but then gets it anyway.

“Hi, Mister Minyard,” Jason, the doorman, says from the other end. “I’ve got a Tetsuji Moriyama here to see you?”

Well. That’s interesting.

“Send him up,” Andrew says, and hangs up.

A few minutes later, there’s a single knock at the door. Andrew pulls it open to get his first look at the man on the other side.

He’s not much to look at. Not that old – mid-fifties to Andrew’s thirty-five – but walks with a cane. Taller than Andrew, but not exactly tall. Quiet-faced and with the bearing of someone used to being respected. Used to power.

He doesn’t look like a comedian, but Andrew can’t exactly talk on that front either.

“Mister Minyard,” Tetsuji says. “I was hoping to speak with you.”

Andrew looks at him for a moment longer, and then turns away. He leaves the door open behind him and hears it click closed as Tetsuji follows him inside.

They go into the kitchen, where Andrew takes a seat at the table. Tetsuji does the same after a moment. They end up on opposing sides, face to face.

“I presume, considering your…partner’s profession, you know who I am,” Tetsuji says.

“I know who you are,” Andrew replies.

There’s another pause before Tetsuji says, “I’m here in regards to Kevin.”

Andrew tilts his head in an invitation to go on. Tetsuji interlocks his fingers on the table.

“I’m sure you know that Kayleigh originally intended for Kevin’s guardianship to be passed to me in the event of her death. However, her close relationship with Mister Josten meant he took Kevin in. I think that was for the best, considering,” Tetsuji says. “I’ve begun to hear of Kevin’s talent for Exy already. I wanted to raise a proposition. As you may know, my nephew Riko is Kevin’s age, and also exceptionally talented. I thought it might be for the best for Kevin to be fostered alongside Riko so that the two of them can train together.”

Andrew says, “You believe in starting them early, then.”

“It’s been proven that training under the correct tutelage produces higher quality athletes when begun at a young age.”

“Kevin is ten years old.”

“Which should prove my point, in the long run.”

“You are a college coach. I struggle to understand what you want with a child.”

“And I understand your reticence, considering your own childhood.”

Tetsuji has done his research, then. All he probably had to do was read a newspaper and make an educated guess, but he doesn’t seem the kind of man to leave it at that. Andrew wonders how much cash it took to buy Tetsuji the whole sordid story.

“Kevin would have the best education available, while receiving the kind of training that will see him reaching the top of the sport. It’s an opportunity many players his age and older would kill for. And more, it’s his birth right.”

“You and I come from very different worlds,” Andrew observes calmly. His own birth right would have seen him dead and buried by now, and he might have believed in the concept once upon a time. 

He doesn’t, not anymore.

Tetsuji inclines his chin in agreement. “I’m sure that won’t stop you from making the right decision with regards to Kevin, however.”

“No,” Andrew agrees. “Neil doesn’t like you very much. Did you know that?”

“He is forthright when it comes to sharing his opinions. I hope our personal differences in opinion don’t influence you from making the correct decision, either.”

Andrew hums. “‘Personal differences in opinion.’ I wasn’t aware we were calling it that now.”

Tetsuji’s silence is a prompt for Andrew to explain.

“Neil grew up amongst criminals. He doesn’t want the same for Kevin,” Andrew says. “Neither do I.”

Andrew grew up with criminals, too. There’s not much difference between those who only do violence to the people closest to them and those who do violence on a grander scale. And Tetsuji might belong to a lesser branch, but he is by no means untainted.

Tetsuji doesn’t speak, though there has been a shift in his expression. Re-evaluating, Andrew thinks.

Andrew says, “When I said I knew who you were, did you think I was exaggerating?”

“I was of the understanding that Neil is generally less outspoken when it comes to secrets regarding his father’s business.”

“He didn’t need to tell me anything. I am more than capable of doing my own research.”

“You are a lawyer.”

“And your family has paid off a lot of lawyers.” 

Andrew isn’t silver-tongued like Neil, but he knows how to get his point across. 

Tetsuji blinks slowly. “I note you haven’t used this information that you have apparently gathered.”

Contrary to popular belief, Andrew didn’t become a DA because he believes in goodness and light and what the fuck ever else. He specifically studied as a fuck you to everyone who ever touched him with the knowledge that they would never, ever face any consequences. 

Andrew shrugs one shoulder, casual. “No one has given me a good reason to.”

Go ahead. Give me a reason to.

Tetsuji didn’t come here to take a ‘no’ for an answer. Maybe he thought Andrew would be a softer target than Neil. 

Maybe he should have done more research himself.

“Let me be clear,” Andrew says, because Neil could talk in circles all day but that isn’t his style. “Kevin stays with us. If you want to recruit him for your team, you can do it when he’s in high school, like a normal teenager.”

Kevin has wanted to go to USC to play for the Trojans since he was seven, but Tetsuji doesn’t need to know that.

“He isn’t a normal teenager.” Oh, yes, his ‘blood rite’.

“Being good at a sport doesn’t make anyone special.” Maybe that’s hypocritical from someone who got a degree out of standing in a goal for five years, but Andrew has never claimed to be normal, either.

“I hope you’ll reconsider,” Tetsuji says after a moment, voice level.

“If you think there is any chance of that, you have’t been listening,” Andrew replies. “Neil will arrive in ten minutes. If I were you, I would insure he doesn’t see you here.”

Tetsuji stands, and for a moment Andrew stays in place, letting the other man have the advantage of height. He waits to feel intimidated but, unsurprisingly, it doesn’t come. Then he stands too, walking Tetsuji to the door.

“Thank you for your time,” Tetsuji says with a nod. Andrew looks at him for another moment, eye to eye, and then closes the door on him.

True to Andrew’s expectations, Neil and Kevin come in ten minutes later, their voices a quiet jumble as they move through the house. 

“Hey,” Kevin chirps as he appears in the kitchen and makes a beeline for the pantry to look for a snack. Andrew, who is slicing vegetables on the bench, doesn’t even bother to look. Kevin has no sweet tooth to speak of so generally snacks on crackers and cheese, if not fruit. He will eat crisps by the bag, though.

“Hi,” Andrew replies. 

“Hey,” Neil says. “Kevin, shower. You stink.”

“Do not,” Kevin replies through a mouthful of food, though he’s only saying it for the sake of argument. “Why don’t you shower?”

“Because I already did,” Neil replies. “You’ve got…how long?”

That’s aimed at Andrew, who says, “Twenty minutes.”

“Noooo,” Kevin whines, and then there’s a clatter as he vacates the room. Their ‘no one who smells like a gym locker room gets fed’ rule is going to work even better on him when he’s a teenager.

“Hey,” Neil says again, once Kevin has left the kitchen. He appears at Andrew’s side. “Let me help?”

“Put a pot of water on,” Andrew tells him, but lets Neil kiss him firm and warm on the mouth before prodding him into action.

Another thing he couldn’t have predicted back in the bad old days, besides the school runs – Neil fucking Josten.

“Hey.” Third time is the charm, apparently. Andrew meets Neil’s gaze head on, finding it still as ever. “You’re alright?”

“Yes,” Andrew replies. “Tetsuji Moriyama stopped by.”

There’s a shift in Neil, from familiar to something less so. Something sharp, broken glass and winter chill. “What did he want?”

“Kevin,” Andrew says, and it’s immediately clear that Neil isn’t surprised by that. “I told him no.”

“He won’t necessarily take no for an answer.”

“You know what happens when people don’t listen to me saying no,” Andrew replies, keeping hold of his eyes, voice steady like stone. 

Neil smiles. It’s not a particularly nice one, no warmth in it, but Andrew likes it anyway. He likes it better when Neil presses it to Andrew’s mouth and then lets it shift into a kiss, firm and hot, then hotter.

“Yeah,” Neil says eventually, breath branding Andrew’s jaw. “I do.”

[rockthistowninsideout]

16.08. Fantasy AU - Twilight AU

Digimon OTP Week part 3

Rating: General Audiences Pairing: Taichi/Sora Words: 2284

In which Sora is a witch and makes a trip to Seattle with Taichi.

Evelyn Hewett was on her way to the airport to pick up her sisters. Well, directly related to her by blood was only one of them, but who cared about that? The others were her witch sisters; if you wanted to strain a relation, then it was that created by magic, spanning the continents and connecting them in a distant yet also close way. It was rather hard to explain, actually. But she didn’t need explanations, to her it all made sense and that was all that mattered.

She reached the airport just on time, fecking traffic keeping her up. Eve cursed under her breath; she always preferred to be earlier. Pushing people a little rudely out of her way, she reached the arrival gate where a cluster of tourists clogged the gates. Another curse escaped her lips. Slow humans were not the group of people she liked to surround herself with, to put it mildly. She shoved a few more folks to the side, when she suddenly collided with someone in her hurry. Before she could utter yet another swear word, she was embraced in a strong hug. You wouldn’t assume that the red-haired girl who held Eve so tightly bore so much strength. Eve gasped a little, then wriggled out of the enfold and smiled widely.

  “Sora! I finally found you! Or well, you found me. Anyway, welcome to Washington! You know that I’m not thinking too highly of national states, so I leave it at that.”

Eve looked Sora up and down, then something behind her guest caught her attention. A rather towering boy stood there, his most prominent feature was a mane of brown hair that looked as if he had just reached for the socket. His gleaming smile was almost blinding her, but she was immune against such approaches. She eyed him suspiciously.

  “Do you want to introduce me to your companion?” she asked Sora, glancing between her and the boy.

  “Yes, of course! Sorry that I forgot. This is Taichi.” She didn’t give any more explanations but Eve had been around enough couples by now that she could tell that both of them were hopelessly in love with each other. Finally, she gave up her defensive behaviour and extended her hand. She didn’t flinch when Taichi shook it with ferocity.

  “It is very nice to meet you, Taichi. But one question is bothering me. Can you speak?” The question seemed legitimate as he hadn’t said a single word up to now. It nearly appeared as if he was solely communicating by his broad smile and the mass of his hair. Eve even suspected, grabbed by one of her silly moods, that it might also lead a life of its own.

He burst into a boisterous laugh as if he had read her ridiculous thoughts. “I like you, Eve. Yeah, I can talk but I didn’t want to interrupt you.”

“Ha!” Sora exclaimed and pointed at him. “You and not interrupting people! You’re the first to do and once you started talking you can hardly stop.”

He made a fake-frown, then smiled his 1000-Watt-smile again and said “Should we get going? I’m pretty hungry to be honest.”

Sora’s lips curled into a smile again and she leaned into Eve. “It’s not like he hadn’t something to eat only an hour ago. But bear with him, that’s just his nature.”

  Eve smiled in return. “Never mind, I know this one. Embry’s just the same.” She stood upright and looked apologetically to Taichi. “I’m sorry, but we have to wait for another sister of ours and one of myself. They’re both on a plane from Boston that is supposed to land-“ she glanced over to the arrival table “-in twenty minutes and it looks as if they’re even making it earlier than planned. So if you can keep your hunger at bay just a little longer, I will take you all for lunch. You okay with that?”

  He nodded. “That sounds like a plan. But what I can’t keep at bay is my bladder.”

Sora giggled and Eve rolled her eyes. “The toilets are this way” she said and indicated the direction. He bowed and rushed off. Sora couldn’t stop giggling.

  “He seems like a good-natured lad to me. I’d say you made an agreeable choice.” Eve remarked.

  Sora nodded. “Oh, yeah, I’m really lucky to have him. He’s sometimes hell-bent on getting his way but usually the plans he makes work out in his favour.”

 Eve nodded solemnly, but before she could respond, an announcement resounded through the hall, pronouncing the arrival of the flight from Boston.

  “Oh! Here we go! I can’t wait for you to meet Brittany. She’s just as weird as I am, but in a totally different way.”

Sora raised an eyebrow. She wasn’t sure if she could deal with two Evelyns at the same time. But thankfully there was also Constanze to help her out if things went really frantic.

They both turned expectantly towards the gates, where slowly new travellers trickled in, many of them looking confused and disorientated around. Only two people seemed to be perfectly familiar with the surroundings at the Seattle airport; they walked briskly through the crowd, both having a cheery smile on their faces.

  “ConCon!” Eve cried out and fell around the neck of a dark-haired, average-heighted curvy girl. She winced when she was addressed like that, and Sora made a sympathetic face. This was truly a cringy nickname. As soon as Eve had unstuck herself from her German witch sister, she approached the young woman behind Constanze with a little more calm, but was delighted nonetheless. 

  “I’m very thankful that you don’t try to strangle me like you did with Constanze” Brittany remarked, her hair a jolly bubble-gum pink and her clothing a wild mix of every possible style.

“You’re just my sister-in-blood, not in magic, you know. I’m still very happy to see you, though.”

Eve turned to Constanze. “Please excuse my outburst. I can never fully restrain myself when I see you.”

She chuckled, then looked around their little club. “We appear to be complete. Why don’t we go and get some lunch? I’m starving, there was just a light ‘snack’ on this flight, consisting of two crackers and some crumbly cheese.” She furrowed her brows when Eve and Sora shook their heads in unison.

  “We’re not complete yet” Sora explained. “We’re still missing my boyfriend. He just wanted to go to the toilet but he seems to be lost. He went there like twenty minutes ago.”

Just then a familiar energetic laughter rang over to them.

  “Well, I think we found him” Eve said with an unmoved face whereas Sora dissolved into hearty laughter. The two newcomers were nearly startled to death as they were pushed to the sides when someone shoved between them and laid his arms around them.

  “You’re the two laggards, I suppose? Nice to meet you, I’m Taichi.” They craned their necks up to his lofty height and were not really sure what to make of him.

Brittany was the first to regain her composure. As the oldest of the group, she wouldn’t be intimidated by someone who was still a teenager. She ducked out from under his arm and extended a hand instead. “The pleasure is all mine, I’m Brittany, Eve’s ‘real’ sister.”

  “And I’m Constanze, another witch sister. Just one thing: don’t you dare call me ConCon! If you keep that in mind, we can become good friends.”

Taichi nodded, the smile still glued on his face. “Now, I’d say: Off for lunch!”

Eve raised her arm pretending to hold a flag used to lead tourist groups around, and marched off to the exit.

  Eve drove on and on, first leaving the inner city and then its suburbs behind. Taichi’s glare grew gloomier and gloomier, his stomach rattled impatiently. Sora took his hand and stroked it, trying to calm him. Constanze radiated unease and irritation as well. Brittany sensed the general tense atmosphere. She turned to her sister.

“Hermione, where are you going? People are hungry, you know.”

Eve’s face stayed unmoved. “Just a few more minutes.”

Taichi groaned in response and was about to say something agitated, but a tiny nod from Sora stopped him. But she really hoped that they would reach their destination soon, wherever this was going to be. Just then, Eve took a sudden right turn at the next junction and plunged into the woods. Constanze jumped at the sudden change of surroundings. Eve just smiled. After another mile, she stopped at a gate that forbade the entrance but for pedestrians. She cut the engine and got out of the car, walking to the back. Confused, her guests followed her to the now open trunk.

“Ta-da!” She spread her arms wide and presented them several baskets and coolers full of food. “We’re going to have a picnic!”

Taichi let out a relieved laughter and Constanze sighed thankfully.

“Eve, don’t do this ever again. Food is serious business” she accused her semi-seriously while taking one of the baskets.

Eve smirked and grabbed the last cooler, then shut the trunk door. She led the way to a small clearing where wild flowers stood in full bloom.

It was one of those days when the sun had hidden behind big-bellied clouds that threatened rain, but it was never obvious when this was going to happen.

“Now, blankets are in your basket, Sora, and cups, cutlery and tableware in yours, ConCon. The sausages and pickled vegetables along with dips and sauces are in yours, Taichi, and-“ she frowned and gave Britanny’s cooler a thorough look, “-ah, yes, of course, the drinks are in yours. And I have the cake. Boy, therefore that vampires don’t eat human food, they are excellent bakers. Honestly, I could kill for one of Esme’s marble cakes” Eve explained.

Sora put down the blankets and knelt on them, helping Constanze laying out the dishes and cutlery. Taichi stood a little forlorn at the side, looking confused at the contents of his cooler.

“Erm, Eve?”

“Yes?”

“These are raw sausages.”

“I know. And?”

“Well, we need fire to fry them, don’t we?”

“Yes, I know. It’s not the first time I’m preparing a barbecue.”

“But...where is the brazier?”

Eve’s face lit up. “How long have you and Sora been together now? You don’t seem to be very familiar with witches. Sora, would you be so kind and gather some firewood?”

Instead of getting up and walking over to the edge of the clearing, as Taichi expected, Sora just fixed her gaze on a couple of trees. Low clattering could be heard, then a bundle of twigs rose out of the bushes and levitated lazily over to them. It landed right at Taichi’s feet who was too startled to say something. Sora, however, was not done yet. First she set some sticks aside, then added to his bewilderment when she conjured a small flame around her right hand and held it against the twigs, setting them ablaze instantaneously despite them being quite moist.

“See, no need for a brazier or some such rubbish. Saves us extra weight and waste. Now, Sora, have you never practised around him?” Eve wanted to know as this seemed rather odd to her.

“ I actually do, but only really small things. He’s probably just never noticed before.”

Eve shot Taichi an indecipherable look, then handed him a little bowl with a yoghurt dip and a baguette. “The sausages and vegetables will take a while over the fire. So here you have something to satisfy your hunger.” She turned to ConCon and gave her some, too. When she offered Sora and Brittany pieces of bread, they politely declined.

After a few bites, ConCon started skewering up sausages and vegetable pieces on the remaining twigs and stuck them around the fire.

A heavy drop of rain splattered right into one of the dip bowls, leaving a crater in the yoghurt. Soon more followed.

Taichi grunted. “And I have not even had my lunch yet.”

ConCon chuckled. “You are really not acquainted with magic, are you?” With a simple flip of her fingers, the rain immediately stopped.

Taichi’s eyes went as large as saucers. “You can even control the weather? Sora, why did you never tell me? That is so cool!”

Sora smiled. “Well, I’ll try to remember that for the future. But we’re not controlling the weather. Constanze has merely erected a shield dome above us.”

Taichi nodded appreciatively. Then he pulled Sora in his lap and nuzzled his face in the bend of her neck. She giggled but soon a breathy moan slipped from her lips. He kissed a line from her collarbone up to her earlobe. Her moans grew louder.

ConCon and Brittany exchanged amused glances, but Eve looked a little annoyed. She coughed. “Ehem, I’m sorry to interrupt your couple time but you’re going to have much more time, and privacy I may say, when we are back home. The Cullens were so kind to offer you accommodation. Brit and ConCon will stay in our house, but there is just not enough space for all of you.”

Taichi and Sora looked at each other, then it dawned to her.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot that you are asexual.”

Eve sighed. “That doesn’t mean I’m a killjoy to all things sexual. I just don’t understand it, so if you wouldn’t mind delaying your affection for each other, you’ll later have the opportunity to fool around as long as you like. The beds in the Cullens’s mansion are exquisite for such activities, or so people say.”

She winked, Sora blushed and Taichi chuckled.

@digiotpweek

[the-wellness-intermix]

My beginner “diet”

Starting a “diet” (I hate the term diet, because if you care enough and are dedicated, it should be a dietary change that you are going to stick to not a quick thing to lose some weight and then fall off the wagon) does not have to be hard at all. In the beginning when your really feeling like you need to make a change in your life and are feeling unhappy with your body but you don’t necessarily know where to begin or your idea of a diet is bland, boring food and that you’ll always be starving; it definitely does not have to be, nor is it. All you have to do is start with little changes and then slowly work your way into bigger changes (but I will cover that in a separate post).

When I started really getting into weight loss I didn’t really have much of an idea on what I was doing. I knew the basics and knew I needed to exercise and eat less... of everything. Because I was pigging out.  

As I mentioned in my post “the Stop and Start Method” I started cutting out fast food and junk food and sugary drinks. When I went grocery shopping I would start going with “cliche go-to’s.” I went to fruit and veggies. I like oranges and I, at one point, started doing frozen grapes because I saw it on Pinterest. They are pretty good. I also started buying Lean Cuisines. I honestly really like Lean Cuisines. They are the more flavorful diet meal compared to Healthy Choice and SmartOnes. But I used to eat those a lot. 

Start with simple grocery changes. I’m going to give you my top 10 easy changes to make to help get you on your way (In addition to my Stop & Start Method).

Switch from white bread to whole grain or multi-grain bread. They aren’t all bad and don’t all taste gross, I promise.

If you are obsessed with coffee, that’s okay, just stop getting sugary drinks. Ease your way into using Stevia or even no sugar at all. That’s what I did. I started ordering unsweetened iced Americano’s and eventually grew to really like them.

Cut out chips and substitute for better snacks. We all love chips. Who doesn’t love chips? Doritos? My weakness. I literally can’t buy them because I promise you, I WILL sit and eat the whole bag. Switch to things like popcorn (preferably air-popped) and not the ones with extra butter, obviously. Even switch it out for veggies with Greek yogurt dip or hummus. Or reach for whole wheat crackers or Triscuits. I love Triscuits.

Ease your way into lower calorie/fat milks. Some people may be lactose-free already but if you are drinking dairy, work your way down to 1% or skim. When I lived at home, my mom always bought 2% milk and when I started trying to be healthier I made her start buying 1% and then I eventually switched to almond milk. But make sure your almond (or any nut) milk doesn’t have added sugars. Look for unsweetened or even unsweetened vanilla, that way there is a natural sweetness. You can get original as well, that’s what I buy often times. Or you can even go for the protein blend ones to add extra protein in your diet. These are usually a blend of almond and cashew milk.

Go for more fruits and veggies. Sounds like a simple cliche one but do it. But I want to say, don’t go crazy with buying them at first. I’m going to be honest with you, there’s a very high chance half or more will end up going to waste. You don’t want to bombard yourself with getting a ton of them because they are fresh ingredients so they have a shorter shelf life. I know sometimes it can be exciting and we feel like we need all of this stuff and you can get wrapped up in it and go over board but just try to be mindful and plan out your weeks and how you think you will utilize each fruit or vegetable. Get more of what you know you like and then buy one thing you’re not sure of and experiment with it. Some of my favorites are:

Watermelon

Cucumbers

Kale or Spinach

Apples

Carrots (with hummus) [Celery is actually an excellent one but I personally hate celery… Lol ]

Yellow Squash and Zucchini (Love to saute it. I’ll put up a recipe soon)

Spaghetti squash (use it like pasta and add some homemade, or no-sugar added, spaghetti sauce)

Oranges

Avocados

Olives and pickles (these are actually great snacks. I know they are love or hate for people but I LOVE olives. They are great for their fats and pickles are a great low-cal snack)

Ground Turkey or Chicken instead of ground beef. There is less fat and less cholesterol in turkey and chicken and you will hardly notice the difference. I love using ground chicken for tacos.

Check your labels and look for things like “No Added Sugars, Sweeteners, Colors, or Preservatives or Artificial etc.” This was a big thing for me. I got really strict about this because I wanted to be healthy and not eat artificial ingredients. This will help you cut down on your processed, refined sugar intake.

Switch out your regular pastas to either quinoa, chickpea, brown rice, or lentil pastas. You honestly will not know the difference. I personally like the chickpea pasta, I can not tell any difference at all.

I do want to add, however, try cutting down on the pastas in general. Cutting down on your carbs will definitely help lose weight. ESPECIALLY Simple carbohydrates. I don’t believe in doing a no-carb diet. This would basically be the Keto diet and I know a lot of people do this and see results but I don’t think that its practical and sustainable.

Eggs! Start eating more eggs. Omelets are great because you can add any meat or veggies that you want. It’s a great way to get more veggies. And you can add cheese but try to do low fat cheeses like Swiss. I always use Swiss cheese in my omelets. You can even make it and bring it for lunch, they heat up pretty well, as long as it is in the same day though. I don’t know about next day.

Another way to use eggs is hard boil them. I actually like hard-boiled eggs. I like them cold. I don’t know if that’s weird, I think warm hard boiled eggs are gross so I always make them ahead of time and refrigerate them. They are great as a quick breakfast or as an add on for lunches.

For my last suggestion, the one thing you could be waiting for, the sweets. A lot of us have a sweet tooth. I don’t have a crazy sweet tooth but I do often times crave a little something sweet before bed some nights. Eating cookies, candy, ice cream, etc. is one of the worst things you can do for your body, especially when trying to lose weight. So, the best way to combat this is find those healthier alternatives. Now keep in mind these may not be uber healthy options, but they’re going to be better than those other junk foods, and we are looking at baby steps here to get you on a path to shedding some pounds and build up to a healthier lifestyle.

Try things like Greek yogurts. Get the ones with fruit mixed in and yes, I’ll say it, try the mixable ones, like Chobani Flips or Fage Corners. Yes, there is still going to be some sugar but it sure as hell is going to be less fat and sugar than ice cream. And being Greek yogurt, it is going to have very little lactose so its not going to bloat the body.

Obviously, reach for fruits. You can even make a fruit dip with Greek yogurt and it’s really good honestly and pretty satisfying (I’ll work on a recipe post for that).

And for things like cookies, reach for whole wheat animal crackers. I’m sure this isn’t the most healthy thing but its better than an Oreo in terms of nutritional value. I believe Trader Joe’s has really good whole wheat animal crackers/cookies.

To wrap this up, I want to say a few things. Firstly, I DO believe in treating yourself once in awhile. Don’t take that as an invitation to eat everything terrible for you all in one day and call it a cheat day. What I mean is, allow yourself something that is your favorite like once or twice a week. I personally love french fries so, allow yourself french fries with your meal if you go out and indulge on those. Or ice cream once a week (I’d stick to once a week for something like ice cream). I don’t think completely cutting every thing you enjoy out is going to help you because more often than not, you are going to cave and just go in for a binge session and then hate yourself afterwards. I’ll be completely honest with you, I used to do the '“cut everything out” thing because I was so desperate to want to look skinnier (I plan on doing a separate blog post on my self-esteem and how that affected me) but it isn’t as enjoyable because I wouldn’t let myself even taste anything. If someone said “try this, it’s so good” and it was like ice cream or something, I would refuse. I mean, yeah it was strong will power and you really do need to keep up your will power but don’t drive yourself crazy over it and deprive yourself.

Secondly, I like to think about being healthier as, what things can you add to your diet as opposed to “what do I have to take away/cut out?” It makes it less negative and more exciting. Obviously, you are going to have to cut things out but you have to use your better judgement on that and with the ‘adding things,’ you inevitably end up cutting those bad things out.

And then lastly, simply avoid those impulse buys. Don’t be tempted to stroll through the candy aisle or look at the candy and chips in the checkout line. Be happy with your healthy choices you just through into your cart and don’t ruin it by those last minute things that will throw all the good choices down the toilet. Unless that little KitKat bar happens to be your one-time splurging choice, then I can let it slide, haha.

I know dieting can be difficult at times but that’s why I want to lay it out in such a way to make you want to stick with it. Make these small grocery changes and you will start to see results.