#as someone on testosterone it absolutely does give you mood swings

[modify-and-sever]

are trans men really just "angrier because of the testosterone" or are you just saying and doing things to upset and anger trans men

[bacchant-of-dionysus]

Listen up, anyone considering egg freezing!

As of right now I am curled up with a cup of tea and a heat pack, recovering from surgery. So I thought I’d give you an overview of my experience as a trans man getting my eggs frozen to preserve my fertility before going on testosterone.

Why did I do it?

We never know what the future holds. While I doubt I will detransition, ever want to be pregnant or become infertile, there is a possibility of all three of these things happening. Preserving my eggs means I can still have children, no matter what happens.

I have a beautiful partner who preserved her sperm before starting estrogen three years ago. She only did it at the request of her mother, thinking that being seen as ‘fathering’ her children and watching her partner go through pregnancy instead of her would be too heartbreaking and distressing for her to cope with. She thought she would just adopt. After a couple of years of hormone therapy, she became more comfortable in her body, and is now desiring to have children with a partner - specifically me.

After meeting my girlfriend, I realised it wasn’t that I didn’t want kids; it was that I didn’t want kids alone, and I couldn’t imagine anyone ever loving me enough or loving someone else enough to have children with them. That all changed when I met her. I want to have children with her.

When it comes to adoption, only 1 in every 30 couples looking to adopt gets to adopt a child. This number is even lower for queer couples in my country. It is also now illegal to adopt from many places overseas due to corruption in the adoption industry.

I considered fostering, but after learning about the high rates of Aboriginal children taken from their families and placed in the care of white people, disconnected from culture, country and their people, I was horrified. 2% of the Australian population is Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander, yet over 40% of kids in foster care are Aboriginal. We are not past the Stolen Generations. Every year we apologise for something we are still actively doing to these kids and their families. I will play no role in that.

There is a part of me that wants biological children. It is present in many people and isn’t something to be ashamed of. Adopted children are absolutely their adoptive parents’ children. But I suppose there’s a part of me that wants my kids to inherit some of the things I love about my partner. I know this sounds selfish, but that is what love does to you sometimes.

Even if I did decide to go down the road to adoption, I don’t believe I am qualified to raise a child with severe trauma. All children who are taken from their families, even for the right reasons, are traumatised. Every child who feels abandoned is traumatised. I am disabled as it is and need help myself. Taking on the responsibility of raising a child who needs specialised support is something I would prefer to avoid if I can. Obviously all pregnancy comes with the chance that your child will have extra needs or accomodations, but I want to give myself the best shot at being a good parent that I can. This means waiting until I am absolutely stable and in a position to raise a child, and giving my child the best shot at being healthy.

What made me consider not doing it?

The dysphoria that the process would bring made me reconsider. I knew I would have to have a period first, then go through a series of hormone shots that simulated early pregnancy. I knew my breasts would get sore and that this may prevent me from binding. I knew that I would become bloated and almost look pregnant. I knew I would have extra estrogen, a hormone I did not want a lot of, running through my body.

The general side effects, disregarding gender dysphoria, were not going to be fun either. Bloating, nausea, soreness, mood swings, increased emotional sensitivity etc are not fun to deal with for anyone.

The likelihood of even finding a surrogate was low. Paid surrogacy is not legal in Australia, so it would have to be what is called ‘altruistic surrogacy’, or someone who chooses to carry the baby without being paid (though their hospital bills are covered by the parents). My best shot at a surrogate at the moment is my own mother, but she is turning sixty this month. Many people I know or who are in my family would be at risk of suffering complications from pregnancy and I absolutely do not want any harm to come to the person who chooses to do this for us.

The scans were an inevitable but horrible reality. These scans, as it turns out, can be done trans abdominally if you push enough and go through doctors until you find someone willing. I did not know this. All my scans were trans vaginal. These scans feel invasive and can be painful, especially if you haven’t experienced penetration before.

A timeline of my experience (with the occasional picture):

Day 1: stopping Slinda.

The first day of my treatment I stopped taking my birth control pill. This had been stopping my periods for over a year.

Day 2-30

I felt horrible. It was like my system was being flooded with poison. I cried. I wanted to kill myself. My dysphoria was terrible. Around day 30 my period finally came, but it was weak and there was never a day of full bleeding. So we started toward the end of my very short cycle.

Day 1 of hormone shots:

I went to the pharmacy with my partner and a kind lady explained everything we needed to know about the injections I was going to take. We were given three types of medication: overleap, orgalutran and a trigger shot. The overleap stimulated the follicles, causing them to swell. The orgalutran prevented the eggs from being released. The trigger shot was to release the eggs. I took my first dose of overleap that evening, then again at 10am the next morning. I took overleap at 10am each morning for around 30 days. I started on a dose of 75mls, as I was young, healthy and fertile, and they didn’t want to risk OHSS (ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome).

Day 7:

By now I was feeling pretty awful. The stabs weren’t too bad, but they stung occasionally. My partner injected them for me. I had started the orgalutran by this point. I had my first scan, which I had to travel an hour and a half for. The doctor doing the scan was male and not particularly sensitive to my situation. I shut down and cried afterwards and wouldn’t have sex for a week following due to severe genital dysphoria.

Day 14:

I had my second scan. This time it was with another male doctor who was much more gentle and kinder than the first one. I felt far more comfortable with him. The eggs still weren’t big enough.

Day 18:

I had my third scan, which was with the same nice man as before. I got the bad news via a phone call: my eggs weren’t responding to the medication, and they thought I should call off the shots and start again next cycle. There was no way in hell I was doing that, so I asked for another option. They said they could increase the dose of Overleap to 150mls. I thought about it for a while, and spoke with my mum, dad and partner for their opinions. In the end, I decided to double the dose and push on. They said in that case I would need to come down to be scanned by my main doctor, who worked in a city four hours from my home town.

Day 21:

we drove four hours to the city. By this time I was extremely bloated. We managed to do some nice things, like go out for dinner with my parents and try out a bagel place. I bought myself a new sweater, a wooden vest, and some fun socks.

Day 23:

My doctor scanned me for the fourth time. The eggs were responding well to the medication, but only two were big enough to retrieve. She thought I should wait another week and come down again, and hopefully they should be able to retrieve at least five eggs. She clearly thought we should start the whole thing over again because ‘I can do better than that’, but I was adamant that if this failed, I wasn’t trying again.

Day 27:

I began to question again whether any of this was worth it. I just wanted to end the process and move on with my life. I didn’t realise how close I was to the finish line. Every moment felt like hell. I was bloated and emotional and sore and I just wanted it to end.

Day 29:

We drove to the city again. This time we didn’t do anything fun. My girlfriend had to pull over halfway there and get picked up by my mum. She was exhausted and hadn’t been sleeping well from the whole process.

Day 30:

I was scanned by the doctor again. This time, it was immediately clear that my ovaries looked different. She counted ten on one side and didn’t bother to count the other side. I was ready for surgery the next day.

Day 31:

I went to the day hospital at 7:45am. My girlfriend wasn’t allowed in the waiting room with me due to Covid, so I was alone. As I was filling out my sheet, I noticed my gender had been marked as female. I asked if they needed my biological sex or my gender. As it turns out, it didn’t matter at all. I wondered why they bothered to ask if it was irrelevant.

In the nurse’s notes, a handwritten sentence was bolted with pink highlighter: ‘REFER TO AS MR [surname].’ I was glad they were trying, especially considering how gendered the surgery itself was.

I got changed into my cap and gown and a pair of grippy orange socks that I got to keep.

I then waited until the anaesthetist came to speak with me. He was slightly odd and a little abrasive, but I ignored this and made sure not to mention that my dad was an anaesthetist too. I felt like that would probably get us off on the wrong foot.

In the operating theatre, there was the same pop music playing as everywhere else in the hospital. The anaesthetist put a needle in he vein of my elbow, which I believe contained propofol. This wasn’t a general anaesthetic, just heavy sedation. They put an oxygen mask on my face. The last thing I remember was one of the doctors attaching a brace like prop for my legs to sit on. I don’t remember actually putting my legs on it.

It felt like no time had passed when I woke up. I assumed I was still in theatre until I was told otherwise. I vaguely remember having a weird sex dream. My dad tells me this is the propofol. My nose itched. The nurse laughed and blamed the fentanyl.

I was unusually chatty and bright, but my stomach hurt. They gave me some endone. This took the edge off.

They gave me a large triple choc cookie, some tea, and a glass of water. The first thing they told me was that hey managed to retrieve 28 eggs. I was ecstatic. I texted my girlfriend, mum and dad immediately.

Later, they told me that of those 28 eggs, 15 were mature enough to freeze and 3 more were almost mature enough and had been frozen too. I had essentially done two egg collections in one, and was at risk of OHSS. My girlfriend picked me up and drove us to the accomodation.

Day 31-33

Over these past few days I’ve been sore. It’s difficult to move without hurting my belly and lower abdomen. I’m still very bloated. The surgery itself had consisted of guiding a needle through the vaginal wall and retrieving the follicles from the ovaries, which were drained, and the eggs collected. The actual surgery site didn’t really hurt at all and there was minimal bleeding. The real pain is coming from where my swollen ovaries have been messed around, poked and prodded. They are also pressing on my bladder and uterus, so passing urine, gas and bowel movements can be painful. It also hurts to use my abdominal muscles for adjusting my position, laughing, hiccuping, yawning etc. I have to walk with slow, short steps.

Was it worth it?

Yes. Now that it’s over and i never have to do it again, I can safely say I am relieved to have preserved my fertility. Now I can move forward with my life: I’m seeing my hormone doctor on the 10th of may, who will prescribe me a low dose of testosterone gel. I can’t wait.

I would recommend preserving fertility if you can before medical transition. You never know what your future self might want, and self care is all about having compassion for your future self, even if it means sacrificing your comfort in the present.

Whatever you choose to do or whatever reason you are undergoing egg collection, know that you are doing something harrowing and brave.

After I have had my children (which will be a number of years in the future) I plan to donate the remainder of my eggs to those who need them on their own fertility journey. Knowing I’ve helped another couple or single parent build a family is compensation enough for what I’ve been through.

[watermonkey0]

Moonlight

4th Point of Contact -- “Moonlight” -- Do Kyungsoo x Harper Hasagawa

The dress was brave. Much more so than I ever felt, in uniform or otherwise. The chiffon skirt draped down over my toes like a mystic black waterfall, and only attached to a front piece at my waist. My back was completely exposed, something I had been insistent on, but was now scared of. The silky black fabric continued on my sleeves that cuffed at the wrists, giving a sort of 'I Dream of Jeannie' look. And then of course, the gaudy yet magnificent shoulder epaulets decorated with silver studs to match the boys' extravagant military attire for the night. This was seriously the last time I ever listened to Cat or Moon Jae. 

"This dress is probably a gagillion dollars. I don't know why I'm even wearing it." I hissed through my teeth as Cat slipped one of my feet into a glossy yet sensible wedge heel. "Uh, it's a gagillion won. Get it right." She snarked up at me, ignoring any and all discomfort I was feeling. It wasn't exactly her style to be reassuring. "Why can't I--" I began to complain for the hundredth time as to why she elected herself for covert duty and I was stuck with prance patrol, but she cut me off with an icy glare. "Because you got yourself shot...like an idiot." She snapped. I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from firing back, not wanting to retaliate while on coms with the rest of the security team. They were beginning to be used to our bickering, but I didn't think even they would condone a full blown sass bash during duty. Cat slipped the other heel on my foot and then stood back to survey her work. It wasn't really like she'd done anything but the shoes, everything else was Moon Jae's artistry, but that wasn't going to stop Cat from taking all the credit. "You look alright." She nodded to herself. She had a talent for mood swings; one moment she would be stabbing you, the next she'd be telling you that red really was your color. Sometimes it felt like playing Russian Roulette, never knowing which pull of the trigger was going to make her snap. Her outfit for the night was a slick and tight fitting tactical suit. I pointed out to her that she was not, in fact, the Black Widow, and that there was no need for such a get up, but she ignored me. Like always. But between the two of us, we both knew which I would rather be wearing. The door to the dressing room swung open without a knock and Moon Jae came swirling in like a sparkly tornado. I swear she'd never frowned a day in her life. "Ohmo! Dangsin-eun neomu yeppeuda!!" She exclaimed and skipped around us, swishing fabric here, tucking a hair there, making sure the makeup that I hated wearing was blended properly. Even though she was only a Stylist intern, I had a feeling she was stuck at the bottom of the totem pole because no one knew how to manage her insane energy. "I'm gonna go ahead and guess she thinks you look okay, too." Cat dodged as much hairspray as she could, making her way to the door to get out of Moon Jae's path. "She said I look pretty." I translated for her. Even though I was nowhere near fluent in Korean, I was picking up more and more every day. Cat, on the other hand, was perfectly content to remain on the other end of an interpreter. "At least someone does." I added with a mumble. "Oh yes, let's go ahead and pretend that none of those testosterone sacks is going to want to jump you the instant they see you." She snorted, leaning against the door, arms crossed. Trigger, slide, bang. "Can you please not refer to them as hormone sacks? They are good guys, you said so yourself." I lectured, half ignoring Moon Jae's instructions, and half listening to the scrambled voices that suddenly sparked in my ear. "Sounds like its starting." Cat smoothly avoided my reprimand and pushed off the wall, holding one finger to her ear. "Are you 'bout done?" "Kkeutmachin?" I asked Moon Jae, who I had lost sight of somewhere around the back of my skirt. She crawled back in front of me and held up her fingers in an 'OK', grinning from ear to ear. I probably botched the pronunciation and she didn't want to be rude by correcting me, but I brushed it off, putting my finger to my own ear in order to hear the voices from my com better. "It'd be great if they spoke English." Cat commented as she opened the door for me and we made our way into the hallway. "It'd be great if you learned their language first." I returned absently. "It's not like any of them would talk to me if I did." "That's because you stabbed Hoo Min on your first day!" I exclaimed, to which she turned up her nose, like she would neither confirm nor deny that the poor first year guard had to get five stitches thanks to her. We padded down the corridor, her super comfy Vibrams soundless next to the click and slap of my heels. Near the end, we would part ways; Cat would make her way into the concert hall via the service entrance, and then slowly progress up to the catwalks, watching the show from above. We called this 'covert duty' because it was unofficial, and only one of the two of us ever took up the position. Some 85% of shootings in venues such as concert halls take place in the rafters above the stage. With Cat in the nest, wearing all black in the darkness of the scaffolding, she'd be undetectable, and therefore able to put down any attempts before anyone ever noticed something was off. It was my preferable position, but at the moment, like Cat had so delicately put it...I wasn't really able to scale the rafters like the Black Widow tonight. Not with the two holes in my back still aching like there were ice picks sticking out of my ribs. No, my job for the night was 'Prance Patrol': Walking with the boys on the red carpet, or just behind them to avoid the cameras. We usually assigned one of the new guys to walk with them since it wasn't a high stakes position. To my knowledge, no celebrity had ever been shot on the red carpet, but tonight was special. Chief Soo wanted me to make an appearance and put any rumors that I was out of commission to rest. Even though, technically, I was still nowhere near field ready. Two shots to the back had severely limited my range of motion. I couldn't lift anything or roll at all. As a Marine, I told myself to buck the fuck up and keep going, but that was just not how Koreans did things. I was seriously so tired of being told to 'get some rest', and of no one understanding that my Drill Sergeant would have put me through four PT tests by now. And then I would have to explain what a PT test was, and at that point I would give up. But there would be no giving up tonight. Even though my back hurt like hell and I didn't know how exactly I was supposed to run in these wedges should I need to, I was going to strut my stuff for all of Korea. When Cat and I finally reached the end of the hall, she turned to me one more time and gave me a last once over. "Still okay?" I asked, fingering the fabric of my skirt. "Acceptable." She shrugged, but from her, 'acceptable' meant stunning. Surrendering to her mysterious ways, I turned towards the double doors that led to the street with a smirk, while she turned the opposite direction towards the back alley. "Oh, and Hasa?" She shouted when I was at the end. "Hmm?" "Don't let any of those hormone buckets touch you." She ordered snobbishly. "They've graduated to buckets now, have they?" I laughed and waved her off. I mean, if she could ignore my advice, I could ignore hers. Kyung Hee University's Hall of Peace is the massive red and wood paneled masterpiece that has had the honor of hosting the Golden Disk Awards twice now. The building itself looked like it was styled after the Notre Dame de Paris, with its white marble and stain glass windows. To me it looked like an LDS temple, but I kept that to myself. A mile long red carpet had been rolled up to the double door entrance, lined with the entirety of Korea's paparazzi population. The photo backdrop was a mixture of sponsor logos, like: The Star-Asia, Lotte, JTBC2, Sheraton Hotels, and Union Pay. There was already a line of vans and limos stretching down the lane, waiting to drop off their idols. The faculty offices across the street had been turned into auxiliary space, to be used by people like me and Moon Jae, who came to stand behind me. I stared at the crosswalk between the two buildings for a minute, like it was a rickety bridge I didn't want to cross. "Ginjang doeni?" Moon Jae asked happily. Was I nervous? Absolutely. But I smiled at her reassuringly and then forced my feet down the steps.

Byun Baekhyun followed after Xiumin obediently as EXO marched up the red carpet as a group. They paused in front of the sponsor wall and smiled for the million bright flashes that caused him temporary blindness. Nothing he hadn't done a hundred times before. In all honesty, he hated award ceremonies. He liked to perform sure, but standing around for hours at a time, or sitting and smiling for the camera had never been his strong suits. But where SM said to go, he went. A little further down the walk was a chevron shaped platform and a standing camera for interviews. Junmyeon steered them towards it and gracefully accepted the microphone offered to him by the MC. It was his job as leader and hyung to be the speaker, and for the first time, Baekhyun was thankful. They lined up as practiced and bowed in unison. After that he sort of drowned out the interviewer and Junmyeon's responses. If this had been any other night, he would have dove for the mic, talking everyone's ears off. He didn't have enough time or breath to thank all of his fans for everything they'd done for them...but tonight, he just couldn't bring himself to be happy. Honestly, what was there to be happy about? They had just gotten to the album questions when he heard the shouting. It was one of those things that he could pick out of any crowd of noises: the syllables of her foreign name that rolled around on his tongue. "It's Harper Hasagawa!" "Look here!" "She's out of the hospital!" Baekhyun spun around instantly, searching for her usual messy bun and too big flak jacket. But to his astonishment, a bombshell came sauntering up the red carpet steps, wearing Harper's face. Her dress was high collared and misty black, making her look eerily beautiful. Her hair was pulled up tight into dozens of braids that swirled into a bun at the nape of her neck, and she carried a clutch studded with a thousand sparkling diamonds that twinkled under her black fingernails. She was as regal as she was terrifying, and she matched their own style concept to a T. He knew he was seeing Moon Jae's work, but somehow he just couldn't believe it. That wasn't the Harper that they knew, the Harper who beat him in a burping contest or punched Chief Soo in the gut. The goddess walking towards them was some sort of miracle, one he was absolutely not prepared for. The MC stopped his line of questions midway through to turn the camera towards her approach. Up until now, she had seemed confident in her walk, although he sensed a familiar fearful tension in the way she was clutching her purse. But with the camera on her, she faltered. "Mrs. Hasagawa!" The reporters shouted. They looked like a sea of gaping fish, writhing behind the photographer line in waves. They were ravenous for her, and Baekhyun's stomach twisted at the sight. Nervously, she bit her black stained lip, making eye contact with each EXO member before finally falling on him. Her green eyes lingered on him for a moment longer, before she slowly started to turn in the recognizable model circle. And then he saw them. The dress had no back, and when she turned, everyone could clearly see the two discolored dents in her flesh. They looked smaller than the ones he saw in his nightmares, but somehow, these seemed worse. It was like they were on display, outrageously obvious and undisguised. One just below her right shoulder blade, and the other at her left waist line. How could she wear a dress like this? How could she show them off for everyone to see? For a daunting moment, he thought he might be sick. Her blood had sprayed all over his face, and now she was revealing the aftermath to anyone who wanted to look. And everyone wanted to look. His knees suddenly buckled and he wasn't able to stop himself from crumpling onto the step. Immediately, Junmyeon and the rest of his brothers started to him, alarmed. But she came too, and all he could do was ball his hands into fists and brace them against his knees. They circled him, cutting him off from the squirming cameras and the loudmouthed MC, who was shouting for a paramedic. This was no good. Looking this weak was only going to start rumors for the company. EXO-L's were going to bleed from the woodwork, accusing SM of abusing another member into exhaustion, when in reality, they had been getting better. Better because she had stood up for them when no one else would. Harper slowly, painstakingly, bent down to his level, hugging her knees and looking up at him through her eyelashes. She seemed to know that he was more furious than anything else. She seemed to know it more than he did. Why was he so mad, anyway? She had always done whatever she wanted, how was this any different? His knuckles were going white and his arms were shaking, but his eyes could only burn into hers. She met his intensity with calm, and like she dumped a giant bucket of water on his fire, he eased. "You need to let it go." She said quietly in English. "This anger and guilt. Throw it away, because it doesn't belong to you." She reached out and took his fist, weaseling her fingers in between his. "Understand this, Byun Baekhyun: I would do it all over again, I would do it a hundred times. Although at that point, I would probably look like Swiss cheese." There was a snort from above their heads, and Baekhyun glanced up at Kai, who was quickly trying to hide his smirk. "I would rather have these than you have them, do you know why?" She asked him, but didn't wait for his answer. "Because bullet wounds are damn sexy." That garnered a few more chuckles and some shuffling feet from the others. He knew they should wrap this up quickly, they were on the red carpet for heaven's sake...but he just kept staring at her. "What is it?" She asked, cocking her head to the side. "What's so wrong with people seeing them?" He wanted to scream at her, demand to know how she was so proud of them. They were wounds! They were scars! They were his nightmares! Her, vaulting towards him as the shots propelled her into his arms. Her blood covering the front of his shirt, Baek screaming her name at the top of his lungs. Those memories were not things to be proud of! "They're a part of me now, that's just how it is, and I'm okay with that. You need to be okay with that too. These...they're not your fault." She tapped out the words on his knee to emphasize her point. "It's my job to protect you, and that's exactly what I did. How can you be so furious that I did my job well?" He hated her logic, hated the fact that it was true and understandable. Harper was a body guard, and by definition, wasn't a body guard someone who guards with their body? She had thrown herself in front of fire for him, and if she didn't regret it...than how could he? Shakily, he hissed out a sigh in defeat. Taking the surrender, Harper reached for a hand to help her up, and Baekhyun felt the familiar arms of his brothers lift him to his feet. The onlookers began to clap, like he was a sports player down on the field, and a paramedic arrived outside the circle of members, but was waved away. He didn't have the type of tools necessary to repair a shattered ego. "Moon Jae." Harper called, and the hyper stylist came bounding up, hip purse swinging. "Come with me, Bacon!" She beamed and grabbed his arm, not waiting for him to consent. The girl dragged him out of the protection of his friends, and he was immediately blinded by the flashes again. "Baekhyun will be alright," He heard Junmyeon tell the MC, "we've just been so busy with tour that he forgot to eat a healthy breakfast. He'll be ready to perform after some food." The reporters seemed to accept the excuse before he lost sight of them completely.

Kyungsoo watched silently as Baekhyun was dragged into the hall, and Harper squeezed his hand extra tight. He'd gone for her arm before she even asked for help, not caring who saw. But now, as the excitement died down and EXO continued to walk the carpet, he knew he had to let go of her. As blandly as he could, he released her hand. But, unable to stop touching her completely, he replaced it on the small of her back, as if to escort her forward. It seemed like a platonic enough thing to do, a small gesture between coworkers. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye but didn't comment as they finally made it inside. The first person to approach them was Chief Soo, who went straight for Harper with vengeance. "What the hell, Hasagawa? What did you do to him?" The manager barked in Korean. DO was about to intervene, but she quickly apologized, even though everyone knew she'd done nothing wrong. Without any further explanation, Chief Soo whisked Harper away to the security office, most likely to continue yelling at her. As he watched her leave, DO rubbed his hands together nervously, only to find them oddly sticky. Glancing down, he noticed a brownish cream covering his palms. He flagged down a nearby stylist and asked for a hand wipe. When she saw him cleaning off his hands, she immediately went digging in her bag. "Here," she handed him a small disposable pouch of liquid foundation. "If you got it on your hands that means you'll need to apply more. Try not to touch it until it dries." He thanked her hesitantly and stared down at the sample. He knew for sure that he hadn't touched his face, and he never wore that much anyway. The only other person he touched had been Harper. Harper's back. Kyungsoo internally groaned as he tossed the sample. He'd have to deal with it later though. Right then, he had more pressing matters than her pride. The performance they gave that night turned out to be one of their best...somehow. Between Trot Record of the Year and the Artist Popularity Awards, EXO had performed 'For Life', and their era signature, 'Monster', both of which were heavily dependent on Baekhyun's voice. The other members had been hesitant to let him go through with it (this was the entire reason they had understudy parts after all), but he declined. He said he would do it, and he did. It was like whatever fire Harper had managed to put out on the carpet, had reignited on stage. His singing was stronger, his dancing was bolder. Everything about him exuded a gallant desperation that only those on stage with him could see. When the last note of 'For Life' strummed, DO couldn't tear his eyes away from Baek's face, or the tears sliding invisibly down his cheeks. But it was also something he couldn't let anyone else see; So he hooked his arm around Baek's head and pretended to joke with him as they ran off stage, setting up for the next act. Baek didn't protest and allowed himself to be escorted to the dressing rooms, surrounded by the other members. That night, EXO won three awards: the Ceci Asia Icon Award, Disk Bonsang, and Disk Daesang. And each time they went on stage, a different member would hang back with Baekhyun...just to be sure. Sehun, Xiumin, and Kai somehow managed to carry him through the night, forcing him to give aegyo and hearts to the fans, while also shielding him from any unnecessary attention. DO had to admit that this was probably why they were so successful as a group. It wasn't SM, or their musical ability--it was because they were a group of genuinely decent guys who had become brothers. They would do anything for each other, and it was a sign of trust that Baek let them lead him through a hard time. And unfortunately, it helped that Harper didn't return.

“I’ve repositioned. You’re off the clock.” Cat’s voice crackled in my ear. The connection was weakening the farther I traveled from the university, and in the back of a company sedan, I let myself deflate. My back was hurting, my feet were aching, and my heart was sore.

Poor puppy.

With a wince, I closed my eyes and let out a hiss that was supposed to be a sigh. I’m sure the driver shot me a nervous glance in the mirror, but I didn’t see.

“Where to, miss?” He had asked me when I slid into the backseat. It was unusual for someone to leave before the show started, but I had no business working a carpet I could barely walk on.

“To the dorms please.” I’d mumbled, but before we were able to drive off, Chief Soo rapped his knuckles against the driver side window.

“Sir?” The driver responded.

“Take her to the hospital.” Soo said insipidly. I could see him glaring at me from where I sat in the backseat, but I purposefully turned my head so he couldn’t see my grimace. “See to it that she accepts her treatment.” In hind sight, it was probably the better course of action…but that wasn’t going to stop me from being salty about his constant need to boss people around.

After fighting with award show traffic for an hour, we finally managed to make our way into the city, and to the local hospital that I’d called home for the past who knows how long. The driver parked in the garage, and then came around to help me out. He was even kind enough to lead me up to the VIP floor, not even commenting on how heavily I leaned on his arm. But that was where I drew the line. I waved him off at the elevators, despite his protest.

Yes, yes, I’d listen to the damn doctors, I assured him. But Chief Soo could kiss my ass if he thought he would assign me a babysitter. He’d just pursed his lips at me when I pulled rank, but I didn’t care. I was in too much pain to bother with what he thought of the bossy American. And I was far too grateful when he left as ordered. It was my only consolation that no one was there to see me as I limped towards my room.

I lost my clutch as I trudged past the nurses’ station, but didn’t stop to try and find it on the floor. It must have clattered awfully loud in the quiet hallway, because the girl behind the desk stood as I passed…knowing better than to help me. Somehow, through long complicated hand gestures and broken Korean-English conversations, the staff had gotten the gist of me. They knew better than to try and assist at this point, I only ever snapped when they did. But she stilled bowed her head at me as I hobbled, like my defiance had somehow won points with her.

My room was at the end of the hall, one that had never felt so long before. With a row of identical fake wood doors filled with sick people on my right, and top to bottom panes of glass on my left, I felt like some sort of ant on display as I scurried into my hole. Only my hole was a million miles away, no matter how many steps I managed to take.

Finally, my knees gave. My tendons protested, my nerves shriveled, my muscles dissented, and in the culmination of their chorus, I went down. I hardly cared though. The world was already a blurry mess, what did it matter that I passed out in the hallway or in my bed? At least out here, I could see the lights of the city from the floor.

But before I could sprawl myself on the expensive tile, a strong hand hooked under my arms and pulled me into an awkward hold. My head lulled to the side, distracted but still somehow annoyed that I’d been caught.

“Let goooo…” I slurred, trying my best to swing my head in the direction of my bothersome rescuer. It was just a large black splotch in the midst of the dim hallway.

“Cállate.” A female voice from the other side of me snapped, and I let my head fall towards her instead. “Come on.” She ordered, and whoever was carrying me started forward at a dizzying pace. I mean, they were probably just walking, but to me it felt like they were sprinting and my legs were flapping behind us like racing stripes.

The woman, who was only a splash of pale pink and dark hair, slid my door open and allowed my carrier and I to enter. The room was shadowy, and I was suddenly struck by the absence of the twinkling night lights. I didn’t want to hide in this dark hole by myself. But even my futile attempts to lift my arms and grab my pack mule were met with muscle protests. I was a rag doll, yet they sat me down on the bed like I was made of porcelain. I was rolled to my side, facing away from the door and the only light.

“Thank you. That will be all.” The woman said, and I heard a grunt in response. It bothered me that the pink woman was there for no reason, and she’d sent the oxen away. Who else was going to drag me out of this den? I wanted to go back out and see the lights. It wasn’t healthy to lock sick people up in the dark, didn’t they know?

“If you hadn’t been ordered to appear, I would slap you in your sutures.” The woman in pink rounded the bed, floating around like she was a ghost. She entered the bathroom for a moment, and then came back holding a green splotch, not even bothering to turn on the light.

Her voice was familiar, but it wasn’t Cat, so I didn’t care. “Let’s get you out of that dress before you ruin it.” Her hands were on me then, surprisingly strong for someone who used others to lift bodies for them. She unfastened the clasp at the back of my neck, and at both wrists, then slid the top half of the dress off like it was nothing. My back was on fire from the pain, but my front that had been contently warm and covered all night was suddenly exposed to the cold air.

I shivered, and it hurt.

She unzipped the skirt and maneuvered me until it was pulled out from under my legs. I was naked, but I wasn’t phased. My legs probably still looked nice in the heels, notwithstanding the countless scars I already had. But she pulled those off too, and then I really was stripped. It occurred to me that I should probably say something to this stranger who was taking my clothes off, but I just didn’t have the energy to put up any fight.

After a moment of nipple-hardening cold, something warm was draped over my front, and I managed to look down at the hospital gown she was looping my arms through.

“What? No foreplay?” I rasped, and then chuckled at myself. The woman scoffed, and I caught the whites of her eyes rolling.

“Verdaderamente eres asqueroso.” She hissed, and I paused my laughing. It only just occurred to me but…everything she’d said to me was in Spanish. Had I answered in English? Or was it the opposite and I just couldn’t tell anymore? There were too many verbs, nouns, and tenses floating around in my head that I could barely keep them straight when I was sober.

But now, drunk on pain? There was no telling what combination of languages were going to drool out of my mouth. But the information was a welcome one, and it took a jab at my fuzzy brain. If it was Spanish, but it wasn’t Cat, then it was the other one…the doctor.

“Afton?” I whispered, and the pink smear stilled.

“At least you won’t be asking for any lap dances.” I heard her mutter to herself and then move to sit behind me. A moment later, something cold and soft smoothed over my back, and I let out an appreciative moan.

“What are you doing here?” I croaked.

“I’m cleaning up your mess. What else?” She responded like it was obvious, and I didn’t have the strength to answer. Cleaning up messes was what Afton did best. Whether it was for me, or any paying country, there was nothing she couldn’t fix. So I finally followed her earlier demand and shut up, letting her run the towel up and down my burning muscles.

Honestly, Kyungsoo thought there would be more resistance when he said he was heading out early. EXO had won all they were going to win, and what was the point of a red carpet exit anyway? So no one really bothered when he climbed into a company car and told them to head to the hospital. And then, still no one stopped him as he rode the elevator to the VIP floor and passed the nurses’ station. The woman behind the desk had seen him many times, and her eyes roamed over him disinterestedly.

The only thing that faltered his approach was the studded clutch laying in the middle of the floor, abandoned. He grabbed it off the tile and turned it over in his hands. It was definitely Harper’s, and he would be lying if he said he was surprised she’d discarded it so easily. Her whole outfit tonight was so out of her world that Kyungsoo had done a double take. From her black lips, to her black nails, she looked like some sort of tremendously sexy nun, and for a split second, he was all for it. Take him to church, let him confess, he’d pray to her and only her until the world ended.

And then he realized that it was Harper, and he was astonished at his blasphemy.

But after his moment of sacrilege passed, he realized that her dress, her hair, and her shoes, had not been for him. She sauntered onto that red carpet for two very specific reasons: One, probably because Chief Soo told her she had to; and two, to bring Baek back to life. Even the fans had noticed his change. He was scared, probably not even for his own life, but for hers. He hovered around Harper’s hospital room like an apparition wanting to interact, but not knowing how to do it without scaring someone. He didn’t know what to say or what to do to show his gratitude for her saving his life, and in the end…it had chipped away at his heart.

DO loosened his tie and shed his jacket. She was probably in a foul mood, and it wasn’t like he was there to commend her. Resolutely, he was there to yell at her, like always. She was just such a hot mess, what else was he supposed to do?

So, with her clutch under his arm, he slid open the door to her room silently, but it was a different scene than he expected to find. Catalina’s sister sat at Harper’s bedside, wiping Harper’s back with a damp towel. She slowly turned on her stool to see him out of the corner of her eye, although he didn’t know how she could make him out in the light of the doorway. It was pitch black in the room, and he felt weird seeing his outline pass over the bed next to his bodyguard.

Afton’s hand paused as she regarded him questioningly, and it only took moments for him to understand her expression and respond. Without a word, he tossed his tie, jacket, and Harper’s clutch onto the couch by the door, and made his way to the bed. Afton stood and passed him the rag without a hint of interest. Kyungsoo figured she should have at least raised an eyebrow at his willingness, but she ignored him.

The exchange only took a moment, and after he’d seated himself on the stool, he looked back to see her leaving. He wasn’t sure if he should call out to her or not, but then Harper stirred on the bed, and his attention was focused on her, and not the click of the door as the doctor left.

He sat with the rag hanging in his hands for a moment, feeling the darkness creep around him comfortably. But he had something to confirm, and it couldn’t be done in the dark. So, he illuminated the flashlight on his phone but quickly dimmed it when it nearly blinded him. And just as he suspected, the towel and the water in the big green bowl on the table were tinted beige. Now was the time to yell at her, right? He’d established his theory: Harper had covered her back in BB cream, but as to the reason…

Gently, Kyungsoo wiped the towel across her back, ignoring the curve of her spine and the dip of her waist, trying not to pay any attention to how her skin responded with a trail of goose bumps, or how she took in a sharp shaky breath at his touch. Those were not things he needed to focus on. Instead, he centered all of his attention on the deep purple, green, and yellow bruises that were exposed with each wipe. He didn’t bother to hide his grimace as he streaked away the makeup to discover more of her pain, more of her damage. And then there were the other things: other scars, other burns. Her whole body was a testament to her service, and he couldn’t decide what was worse: how injured she’d been, or how proud he suddenly found himself.

What right did he have to be proud of her for things she did before she met him? How was it any of his business what her body looked like under her stupid flannels and skinny jeans? She was Harper, she was an American. She was lazy and informal. She was his opposite in pretty much every way…

So why did this bother him? Why did he have the overwhelming urge to shake her awake and hug her tight? He wanted to promise her that she’d never get hurt again, but then the thought of not being able to keep that promise paralyzed him. His thoughts and feelings were running wild, but all the while, his hand softly slid up and down her back, never stopping to confer with his thoughts. His heart at least knew that she needed this. Her wounds needed to be cleaned, and despite literally everything his head was screaming at him right then…he owed her that much.

He let out a single huff of a laugh at the thought. What did their scorecard even look like now? Who was up, who was down? Why were they keeping score at all?

“Lo siento…” He felt the words vibrate into his hand, and he froze. Had she heard him? Did she know that he was the one who was touching her now? That he could see every curve of her and he secretly wished he could see more?  

No…her words were in Spanish. She still thought that Afton was the one taking care of her. But then—

“Lo siento…Gomen'nasai…Mianhaeyo…”

Kyungsoo dropped the towel in the bowl with a splash and gulped.

“I’m sorry.”

He watched helplessly as his hand reached out and grazed over her hair. His fingers smoothed over her head in a reassuring stroke. He shouldn’t be doing this, he panicked. This kind of thing was reserved for family or lovers. And he was neither! But still he caressed her, muttering to himself that he should leave, but also that she had nothing to be sorry for.

Not bothering to stop it, but also acknowledging he wasn’t in charge of it, his other hand drifted to her marbled back, tracing over every blemish and scar that made her. She was a patchwork of stories that he’d never heard, and he found himself truly wanting to know everything there was to know about her.

“You know,” Afton’s voice made him jump straight out of his skin, “she won’t remember anything that’s said or done tonight. She went to that show like a fool, but of course she had to one up herself by not taking her medication beforehand.” Her English was lilted by her maiden tongue, but DO had no trouble understanding what she meant: an opportunity was an opportunity.

Was it safe for him to pretend? Safe to let his mind drift to that forbidden inkling he’d locked away? He couldn’t destroy it no matter how hard he tried, so he’d banished it to the farthest reaches of his mind, burying it beneath the necessity to work out, or eat, or dance, or sing. There was always something more important than letting himself think about it. Was it really safe to let it out now? Where no one would hear, or remember?

With a swallow, he glanced at Afton out of the corner of his eye and watched as she hooked Harper up to an IV and set the drip. In the shallow light of his phone, he could see a small smirk on her face, like she knew what was going on in his head. She seemed a lot like Cat in that regard. Apparently both sisters had a knack for seeing the things people were trying to hide. It was kind of infuriating, but refreshing somehow.

When she was satisfied that Harper was settled, she walked back to the door to leave, the click of her heels on the tile like the tick of the clock he felt pounding in his brain. He either left with her, or he didn’t leave. That was the ultimatum he felt himself drifting towards. He heard the door slide open and she said,

“I don’t know if you know or not…but there are things you could give her now that she would never be able to receive again.” And then she was gone.

The silence hummed in his ears like the crash of the ocean. He did know. In fact, he was the only one who knew.

Slowly, DO rose from the stool and carried it around the bed to sit in front of Harper. Then he went and threw open the blinds that had been pulled tight over the window. The lights from the buildings around the hospital twinkled under the dark sky, making him wish for a moment that they were stars. Even on clear nights, he hardly ever saw them anymore. How was he supposed to ask them for guidance when they were constantly drowned out by the fake stars of the city?

He tore his eyes away from the beams when he heard a sharp intake of breath from the bed behind him. He turned around reluctantly, fighting the feeling of suddenly wanting to throw himself out the window. Harper’s eyes were open and wide, illuminated by the glow of the city. And she was staring at him.

Brightened by the world outside her hospital room, she looked hollowed out and pale, but he could never describe her gaze as anything but ethereal. Her stare was just so deep and enticing that he could barely breathe as she gaped at him.

“Kosei?” The prayer tumbled from her lips, and despite herself, her eye lids drooped. Her eyebrows furrowed, like she was mad that her muscles were betraying her at such a crucial moment.

She won’t remember anything that’s said or done tonight, and there are things you could give her now that she would never be able to receive again…

Afton had said. The real question now: was he going to spend this night on himself, or was he going to spend it on her? Could he play this role? Should he…

False hope was one of the cruelest gifts anyone could give, but if she wasn’t going to remember it anyway…what was the harm in making her happy for one night? Whether or not it was a lie, he was still the one doing it, right?

She whispered the name again and moved like she would try and sit up. DO immediately rushed forward and gently pushed her back into the bed, falling into that person without another thought.

“Don’t try and get up. You overdid it tonight.” It occurred to him that their tones might not be the same. His voice was usually much lower than everyone else’s, he might have ruined the illusion before it even began. And then the fact that he was speaking English. Had she taught him? Was she able to speak Japanese because they’d taught each other their languages? It seemed like such a lesson in life, to be able to hear the person you love say they love you in your tongue.

Even for him, hearing ‘salanghae’ was always more impressionable that hearing someone say ‘I love you’. Because he was Korean, and what bigger commitment could someone pay him than learn how to speak his language?

“I’m sorry.” Harper obediently laid back down, catching his hand in her own and tucking it close to her chest. He could feel her heartbeat, a slow melodic rhythm under the hammering of his own. “I didn’t mean to make you worry again.”

“I wouldn’t worry if you didn’t do such reckless things.” He scoffed and then reeled at his senselessness.

“Maybe…” She lulled while Kyungsoo nearly beat himself to death with his free hand, “but you’d be so boring otherwise.” A smile danced on her lips that made him still.

“Rude.” He snickered at her, earning a bigger grin.

This was dangerous. He felt it in his bones. He shouldn’t be doing this. But he just couldn’t stop. He wanted to be this person, the one she called out to in the darkness, the one who made her laugh even when she was hurting. Every inhibition he had crumpled in the light of the city stars behind him.

He would be Kosei.

He would be whoever she wanted.

Just for tonight. Just for this one night, because…

He would go back to being Kyungsoo when morning came, and she would never smile at him like this again.

[vanilla--blossom]

***WARNING: SPOLIERS AND A SUPER SUPER LONG COMMENT!***

I loved this episode, it was an emotional roller coaster. Although this post is going to include thoughts on the whole series in general, mainly on Javier’s relationship with Kate and with David and Gabe too. Also just opinions of the characters individually. (It’s going to be a long post, sorry). The ending I got was Javier, Kate, Gabe and Conrad surviving (thank god) and David being bitten so Gabe has to shoot him to prevent him from turning. I chose to save Tripp in episode 4, therefore Ava came along with the group before she died, which was pretty much the only scene I didn’t like in this episode, it was very sudden and I think my game glitched so it cut some dialog or really small scenes so it was over very quickly.

It’s sad because I did like Ava and it was a hard decision on who to choose to be shot (when it came to that scene in ep 4, I didn’t choose either the first time and then ended Javi ended up getting shot lol, I DIDN’T WANT EITHER OF THEM TO BE KILLED AH and I was so shocked when Joan ended up killing the opposite person you wanted to save, such bullshit).

Anyway, on Kate and Javi’s relationship, when I started playing this season I was completely against the intimate/romantic relationship between them, every time some dialogue came up where you could flirt back with Kate, or kiss her or whatever, I didn’t choose those options and when it came to either rejecting her or sharing her feelings, I rejected her. She’s married to David, like you don’t go for your brothers wife? They’re brother and sister in law, bit incest? What about Gabe too? Bit weird for his uncle to start dating his farther’s wife? Plus I knew that David would NOT be happy when he found out, I kept rejecting her so David didn’t have any reason to want to fucking kill Javier and I always saw David’s good side so I wanted to be a good brother to him.

All that changed though when I watched a YouTuber’s Let’s Play of the episode. I don’t know, as soon as I saw them kiss I was just like yes. Instant support. Maybe it was Kate’s awkward confession, and her little excited, “oh my god! Really!?” reaction like she actually couldn’t believed Javi shared her feelings? Ahh it was just too cute. I went back and replayed the season, keeping all other choices the same expect the romance between them. It got me thinking, Javi and Kate have been on the road together for years, they thought David was dead, it was more than hinted that David was an abusive husband as well and Kate was really unhappy with him. They’ve been raising Marianna and Gabe all this time like they were practically their own children and have you seen the way the interact with each other? They have a great dynamic, Javi is so sarcastic, he’s got great banter and Kate can handle it and give it back, they’re always making each other laugh and smile and feel better and clearly they’re just way better suited for each other than Kate is with David. I chose the option for them to kiss after their reunion at the junkyard when I replayed and all Marianna says is “Gross.” Like she’s not at all bothered or angry her step mum is smooching her uncle? Because she can see how much they love and care for each other. Plus it’s a fucking zombie apocalypse, if you love someone, go for it, because you don’t know when your last moment will be with someone, no matter how fucked up the situation is, they were both really really happy in that moment at the junkyard and in the van, plus at the end of the episode too.

This brings me to David and Javi’s relationship. Apart from the Kate thing, I still tried to be a good brother to him, I took his hand after the fight when their dad died, I supported him in his decision to go to the army and promised to watch over Kate and and the kids. I hugged him in the quarantine cell, I stuck by all his plans (not to mention about Marianna & to stay and fight in Richmond, not siding with Kate), I even shot Joan for him. David was a fucking arsehole I admit that, but I did have a little soft spot for him, I always wanted him to redeem himself and for him to show the good person I believed he was inside, I get really attached to the characters, and I think the main way to enjoy the walking dead game is to not focus too much on the lack on character development with a few of the characters or the crappy pacing, even the bad dialogue selections sometimes. I try to put myself in each and everyone of the characters shoes and feel what they are feeling and try and understand.

So when it came to the scene when David found out about Javi and Kate’s relationship and started beating up Javi and was trying to kill him, I chose Javi to say “I love you” 3 times. The final “I love you brother” absolutely broke me. During this fight I was literally crying my eyes out, I could not stop crying, it was so intense and so emotional, it hurt me so much inside because Javi does love his brother and deep down, David loves Javier too. I started crying after the first “I love you”, because of David’s reaction to Javi saying that. He looked so shocked, like he couldn’t believe he heard that from him, which leads me to believe that was the first time Javier ever told David that he loved him. What makes it even more sad is that was the last time he ever said he loved him and also the last thing Javier ever said to David was “I love you brother”.

Other things that made me cry even harder during that scene, when Gabe rushed in to try to get his Dad to stop and David just hits him with the wrench. Like could you imagine your father doing that to you? Especially how much Gabe respected and loved his Dad, Gabe stuck up for David and was on his side throughout the whole season, and then to have everything you thought about your Dad to be proven wrong? After all that, he still chose to go with David because he is his Dad. He is family, he is blood. It’s heartbreaking. Also the little notification that you get if you choose to say I love you three times “you kept your promise to be a good brother”, like holy fuck shit. There I go, I was already broken in half, now I’m broken into quarters. Fuck my life, I was emotionally unstable.

I know a lot of people hate Gabe, just like they hated Duck in season 1 and I just don’t understand why? For both of them. Duck was just a special little boy, he didn’t understand everything was going on, in my opinion I think he had some sort of mental disability, or he was just really dumb who knows. But he was just a little kid, who talked too much and made bad decisions but how was he supposed to know what would happen? Being so young, so naive, he was such an energetic optimistic boy, ignorance is bliss they say right?

Anyway, enough about Duck, back to Gabe. Gabe was 14 years old, he was growing up and going through a really tough time, he has to deal with puberty, hormones, mood swings, testosterone levels are soaring, he wants to grow up. He doesn’t want to a little kid anymore. But the thing is he doesn’t know how. And imagine how hard it would be in a zombie apocalypse to do that. He thinks he’s saying and doing the right thing but he’s not, he wants to prove himself capable, he wants to prove that he’s smart and he can fight and protect himself and protect others, he believes he can. No one else does and so obviously that makes him frustrated that no one will take him seriously. It’s especially hard for him because his role models are Javier and David, two badass, lean mean fighting machines. He wants to be like them and he wants to be like them now but he can’t. Bless Gabe. He was an annoying little shit yeah but he’s a good annoying little shit. It’s all about seeing things from his point of view, imagining if you were him.

Which leads me to Gabe and Clem’s relationship. Disregarding the crush they both have on each other for a second, pretend that doesn’t exist. I love Clem and Gabe’s relationship. Oh my god, how can you not? I’m sorry but how long has Clem gone without a friend her age? Since fucking forever that’s how long. The only kids she’s ever been with is Duck and Sara throughout the entire series. Clem has been through so much shit, she’s been through hell, she’s lost Lee, Kenny, Luke, AJ, all the most important people to her throughout the series, she’s the toughest little girl in the world, she was forced to grow up so much quicker than she had to. Lee taught her to shoot a gun at 8 years old okay. She’s more intelligent and strong and brave and mature than anyone ever has to be at 14 years old, if it weren’t for her appearance you would think Clementine was a fully grown adult. She raised AJ, a toddler, thought of herself as a mother, a real mother to AJ and she’s just still a kid herself.

This is why I fully support her friendship with Gabe, in the van and they were playing euchre together, Clem just got to be a normal teenage girl for a couple of minutes having fun and joking with a teenage boy. Like Kate said it’s just so normal? It’s nice to see, and I can’t remember who said this in the game but “life doesn’t mean much without people you can relate to”, Clem and Gabe relate to each other, they’re in the same boat, Clem understands Gabe and makes him feel better as Gabe does with Clem. I’m sure all of us know how it feels not to be understood and when someone comes a long and shows you that they do understand it’s a relief.

Back to the crushing part between the two, it’s again NORMAL AND FUCKING CUTE! It’s a little harmless crush, of course they’re going to have a crush on each other, it’s the first teen girl Gabe has ever seen since the outbreak, and Clem is really pretty and nice, of course Gabe is going to have a crush on her. It made me smile at the end when Javi was like to Clementine “you know the guy has a crush on you right” and he was all like “oh my gosh you have a crush on him too!!” and then Clem got all embarrassed and flustered and exclaimed “I DO NOT!”, again this is so funny and just adds a bit of lightheartedness and normalcy to the game, yes they’re in the middle of a zombie apocalypse but characters get to be happy once in a while and just pretend that world hasn’t gone to hell. All in all, loved the season, especially loved this episode! Phew what a rant, you have reached the end, props if you read all of it.

[xeniawrightne]

Estrogen Dominance…6 Root Causes That Are Easy to Miss

Estrogen dominance is very common these days,but that DOES NOT make it normal.  Our modern world creates the perfect environment for estrogen to take over.  It may seem impossible, but you can do something about it.  Yes, YOU can!  You just have to know what is causing estrogen dominance in you specifically.  There is no “one size fits all” when it comes to addressing estrogen dominance.  I know because I spent years trying to figure out what was causing estrogen dominance in my own body.  Different doctors told me what to do, but nothing was helping.  That’s because no one was addressing the root cause.

I work with a lot of women dealing with the symptoms of estrogen dominance.  Things like PMS, heavy or irregular periods, bloating, breast tenderness, headaches, brain fog, mood swings, depression, irritability, low libido, histamine intolerance, fibroids, endometriosis, thyroid problems, gall bladder issues, and blood sugar issues.  Any of these sound familiar?

Many things can contribute but here is a list of the top causes I see with my clients…

1. Gut dysbiosis (bacterial imbalance)

Your gut and hormones are absolutely connected.  Glucuronidation is one of the major phase 2 detoxification pathways in the liver that helps us eliminate hormones from the body.  An enzyme called beta glucuronidase can block this detoxification process, which can cause your hormones (including estrogen) to get reabsorbed, reactivated, and put back into circulation.  Beta glucuronidase is produced by imbalanced intestinal bacteria.

So to address the cause, you need to lower this enzyme by balancing your gut bacteria.  Sorry to say it but simply taking a probiotic is usually not enough to re-balance the gut.  Get a good stool test, like the GI MAP, to address bacterial overgrowth.  The nice thing about the GI MAP is that it actually tests for the beta glucuronidase enzyme.  This result below was the first GI MAP I took…it showed over double what the lab considers normal!  In order to address the cause, I worked to re-balance my gut bacteria, which is a process that should be customized to you and your microbiome.

2. Poor liver detoxification (overall, phase 1, or phase 2?)  

If your liver is sluggish, then it will be difficult to clear estrogen from your body, no matter what.  We live in a pretty toxic world, which makes our livers work really hard.  The liver processes hormones to get them ready to be eliminated from the body.  If the liver is not functioning optimally, estrogen levels can be high because your body is not breaking it down and getting rid of it like it should.  It is important to know if there is a specific phase of liver detoxification where estrogen is getting backed up.  This information can help figure out what you need to do to address the cause.

If phase 1 of estrogen metabolism is stuck then a supplement like DIM can help but if that isn’t the problem, then you could be wasting your money on an unnecessary supplement or even cause estrogen to drop too low.

Phase 2 of estrogen detoxification is a process called methylation.  Genetically we might not be good at methylating properly, but we also depend on certain nutrients for this process to work correctly.  We need vitamin folate, B12, B6, and magnesium. If you are deficient, then that could be a contributing factor to your estrogen dominance.  These pathways can’t be tested using blood or saliva, but you can test them with urine, which is why I use DUTCH test by Precision Analytical with my clients.  So much more information!  Save yourself a lot of trouble and get tested instead of guessing.

3. Constipation

I talk about pooping all the time with my clients.  Your bowel movements can tell you a lot about your health.  When you are not having at least one bowel movement per day, when you are not eliminating fully, or when you are going and it looks like little pellets, then you are constipated.  Estrogen that should have been eliminated from the body in your stool is reabsorbed in the gut and re-circulates in the body.  It’s the gut’s responsibility to eliminate hormones.  Get to the root cause of your constipation.  Is it your thyroid, gut pathogens, motility issues, dehydration, low fiber, stress, or something else?  Start by increase your water intake.  You should be drinking at least half of your body weight in pounds in ounces of water per day (coffee and alcohol doesn’t count).  Then make sure you are eating enough fiber by increasing your intake of fruits and vegetables.  If that doesn’t help then you may need to investigate further.  Test your thyroid and gut with functional lab testing.  Proper testing is key!

4.  Low progesterone

Estrogen dominance does not always equal high estrogen.  Estrogen can be at a normal level, but if progesterone is too low then you can still have estrogen dominance symptoms.  So why is progesterone low?  Not eating enough healthy fats, too low body weight, chronic stress, HPA axis dysfunction (AKA adrenal fatigue), gluten sensitivity, lack of ovulation, hypothyroidism, or high prolactin– these are just some causes of low progesterone.  It is all about getting to YOUR root cause.  A good practitioner should be able to help you with this investigation.  That is exactly what I do with my clients.

5.  Copper toxicity and Other Heavy Metals

We can become copper toxic in a variety of ways.  Hormonal birth control (pill, patch, ring), copper pipes, copper IUDs, hormone replacement therapy.  It can even be something that was passed to you in-utero from your mother.  Copper stimulates estrogen production and estrogen can increase copper; they are very connected.  When one goes up the other can follow.  In my practice I use hair mineral analysis testing to look for copper issues.  If you have looked at all the other factors and still can’t seem to find out what is causing your high estrogen, then it might be time to consider copper.

Other heavy metals like aluminum, mercury, and lead are also considered metalloestrogens, which means that they have the ability to mimic estrogen in the body.  Some metals are considered essential minerals, but if the concentration of these metals become too high, they can interfere with hormones.  These types of metals are much harder for the body to eliminate on its own.  I like to do a hair mineral analysis test with clients, especially when they are having a hard time addressing why their estrogen is high.

6.  Inflammation

Do you have a lot of inflammation in your body?  Maybe aches, pains, skin problems, joint discomfort, gut issues, heart problems, excess weight, inflamed gums in your mouth?  Do you have a lot of food sensitivities?  Have you been exposed to a lot of toxins?  Inflammation anywhere in your body can be a problem because it can drive up your production of cortisol (your stress hormone that can also be anti-inflammatory).  High cortisol can equal higher DHEA, which then can get made into testosterone and – yes-even estrogen.

These are the top root causes of estrogen dominance that I see in my practice.  It is also very possible to have more than one root cause.  This can be an overwhelming and sometimes complicated beat to tackle.  Working with someone that can help you navigate your root cause(s) and provide you with the best game plan to get your hormones back into balance can be very helpful.   When your hormones are balanced it is easier to maintain a healthy weight, have clear skin, have healthier periods, and slow down the aging process.  If you don’t have the ability to work with a professional, below are a couple things you can  start to do on your own.

What can you start doing today to help your estrogen?

 1.  Use safer beauty products. Toxic chemicals in conventional beauty products can be hormone disruptors.  These chemicals can act like hormones in your body and contribute to higher estrogen levels.  Beautycounter is my favorite safer beauty line!  Consider swapping out your shampoo, conditioner, lotion, soap, and makeup for non-toxic products.  Read my post Are Your Beauty Products Contributing to Hormone Imbalance for more info.

2.  Eat more veggies.  Things like cruciferous vegetables contain a compound that help to support phase 1 of estrogen detoxification.  Even raw carrots contain a beneficial fiber that helps to eliminate estrogen from your system.  Don’t forget your leafy green veggies that are a good source of folate and support phase 2 of estrogen detoxification.  These are easy things you can incorporate into your daily meals.

3.  Love your liver with castor oil packs. I wrote a whole post about it so go check it out here.

4.  Get enough sleep. Sleep is super critical for overall health and it is whenyour body does a lot of repair work.  Just two consecutive night of not sleeping well can negatively impact your cortisol levels.  And high cortisol can lead to high estrogen.  Get to bed by 10pm and work toward getting at least eight hours per night.

5.  Manage your stress. I can’t emphasis this one enough!  Stress is terrible for your hormones.  Stress negatively impacts your adrenal glands and cortisol levels, which makes it really hard to get your hormones back on track.  Deep breathing, getting out in nature, and a daily self-care ritual are my favorite ways to keep my stress in check.

Resolving estrogen dominance is a multi-factorial process including nutrition, lifestyle, proper detoxification, and healing other bodily systems like the adrenals and gut.

ARE YOU READY TO GET TESTED AND TURN YOUR HEALTH AROUND?  CLICK THE BUTTON BELOW TO REQUEST A FREE 30 MINUTE DISCOVERY CALL…

Schedule Your FREE 30 Minute Discovery Call

As a Holistic Dietitian and Functional Diagnostic Nutrition Practitioner, I help clients get proper testing, assist in the process of reading those results using clinical correlation (treating the patient and not just the test results), and give them the proper tools (diet, supplements, and lifestyle) to start the healing process.

  The post Estrogen Dominance…6 Root Causes That Are Easy to Miss appeared first on The Organic Dietitian.

[susieatencionjna]

Estrogen Dominance…6 Root Causes That Are Easy to Miss

Estrogen dominance is very common these days,but that DOES NOT make it normal.  Our modern world creates the perfect environment for estrogen to take over.  It may seem impossible, but you can do something about it.  Yes, YOU can!  You just have to know what is causing estrogen dominance in you specifically.  There is no “one size fits all” when it comes to addressing estrogen dominance.  I know because I spent years trying to figure out what was causing estrogen dominance in my own body.  Different doctors told me what to do, but nothing was helping.  That’s because no one was addressing the root cause.

I work with a lot of women dealing with the symptoms of estrogen dominance.  Things like PMS, heavy or irregular periods, bloating, breast tenderness, headaches, brain fog, mood swings, depression, irritability, low libido, histamine intolerance, fibroids, endometriosis, thyroid problems, gall bladder issues, and blood sugar issues.  Any of these sound familiar?

Many things can contribute but here is a list of the top causes I see with my clients…

1. Gut dysbiosis (bacterial imbalance)

Your gut and hormones are absolutely connected.  Glucuronidation is one of the major phase 2 detoxification pathways in the liver that helps us eliminate hormones from the body.  An enzyme called beta glucuronidase can block this detoxification process, which can cause your hormones (including estrogen) to get reabsorbed, reactivated, and put back into circulation.  Beta glucuronidase is produced by imbalanced intestinal bacteria.

So to address the cause, you need to lower this enzyme by balancing your gut bacteria.  Sorry to say it but simply taking a probiotic is usually not enough to re-balance the gut.  Get a good stool test, like the GI MAP, to address bacterial overgrowth.  The nice thing about the GI MAP is that it actually tests for the beta glucuronidase enzyme.  This result below was the first GI MAP I took…it showed over double what the lab considers normal!  In order to address the cause, I worked to re-balance my gut bacteria, which is a process that should be customized to you and your microbiome.

2. Poor liver detoxification (overall, phase 1, or phase 2?)  

If your liver is sluggish, then it will be difficult to clear estrogen from your body, no matter what.  We live in a pretty toxic world, which makes our livers work really hard.  The liver processes hormones to get them ready to be eliminated from the body.  If the liver is not functioning optimally, estrogen levels can be high because your body is not breaking it down and getting rid of it like it should.  It is important to know if there is a specific phase of liver detoxification where estrogen is getting backed up.  This information can help figure out what you need to do to address the cause.

If phase 1 of estrogen metabolism is stuck then a supplement like DIM can help but if that isn’t the problem, then you could be wasting your money on an unnecessary supplement or even cause estrogen to drop too low.

Phase 2 of estrogen detoxification is a process called methylation.  Genetically we might not be good at methylating properly, but we also depend on certain nutrients for this process to work correctly.  We need vitamin folate, B12, B6, and magnesium. If you are deficient, then that could be a contributing factor to your estrogen dominance.  These pathways can’t be tested using blood or saliva, but you can test them with urine, which is why I use DUTCH test by Precision Analytical with my clients.  So much more information!  Save yourself a lot of trouble and get tested instead of guessing.

3. Constipation

I talk about pooping all the time with my clients.  Your bowel movements can tell you a lot about your health.  When you are not having at least one bowel movement per day, when you are not eliminating fully, or when you are going and it looks like little pellets, then you are constipated.  Estrogen that should have been eliminated from the body in your stool is reabsorbed in the gut and re-circulates in the body.  It’s the gut’s responsibility to eliminate hormones.  Get to the root cause of your constipation.  Is it your thyroid, gut pathogens, motility issues, dehydration, low fiber, stress, or something else?  Start by increase your water intake.  You should be drinking at least half of your body weight in pounds in ounces of water per day (coffee and alcohol doesn’t count).  Then make sure you are eating enough fiber by increasing your intake of fruits and vegetables.  If that doesn’t help then you may need to investigate further.  Test your thyroid and gut with functional lab testing.  Proper testing is key!

4.  Low progesterone

Estrogen dominance does not always equal high estrogen.  Estrogen can be at a normal level, but if progesterone is too low then you can still have estrogen dominance symptoms.  So why is progesterone low?  Not eating enough healthy fats, too low body weight, chronic stress, HPA axis dysfunction (AKA adrenal fatigue), gluten sensitivity, lack of ovulation, hypothyroidism, or high prolactin– these are just some causes of low progesterone.  It is all about getting to YOUR root cause.  A good practitioner should be able to help you with this investigation.  That is exactly what I do with my clients.

5.  Copper toxicity and Other Heavy Metals

We can become copper toxic in a variety of ways.  Hormonal birth control (pill, patch, ring), copper pipes, copper IUDs, hormone replacement therapy.  It can even be something that was passed to you in-utero from your mother.  Copper stimulates estrogen production and estrogen can increase copper; they are very connected.  When one goes up the other can follow.  In my practice I use hair mineral analysis testing to look for copper issues.  If you have looked at all the other factors and still can’t seem to find out what is causing your high estrogen, then it might be time to consider copper.

Other heavy metals like aluminum, mercury, and lead are also considered metalloestrogens, which means that they have the ability to mimic estrogen in the body.  Some metals are considered essential minerals, but if the concentration of these metals become too high, they can interfere with hormones.  These types of metals are much harder for the body to eliminate on its own.  I like to do a hair mineral analysis test with clients, especially when they are having a hard time addressing why their estrogen is high.

6.  Inflammation

Do you have a lot of inflammation in your body?  Maybe aches, pains, skin problems, joint discomfort, gut issues, heart problems, excess weight, inflamed gums in your mouth?  Do you have a lot of food sensitivities?  Have you been exposed to a lot of toxins?  Inflammation anywhere in your body can be a problem because it can drive up your production of cortisol (your stress hormone that can also be anti-inflammatory).  High cortisol can equal higher DHEA, which then can get made into testosterone and – yes-even estrogen.

These are the top root causes of estrogen dominance that I see in my practice.  It is also very possible to have more than one root cause.  This can be an overwhelming and sometimes complicated beat to tackle.  Working with someone that can help you navigate your root cause(s) and provide you with the best game plan to get your hormones back into balance can be very helpful.   When your hormones are balanced it is easier to maintain a healthy weight, have clear skin, have healthier periods, and slow down the aging process.  If you don’t have the ability to work with a professional, below are a couple things you can  start to do on your own.

What can you start doing today to help your estrogen?

 1.  Use safer beauty products. Toxic chemicals in conventional beauty products can be hormone disruptors.  These chemicals can act like hormones in your body and contribute to higher estrogen levels.  Beautycounter is my favorite safer beauty line!  Consider swapping out your shampoo, conditioner, lotion, soap, and makeup for non-toxic products.  Read my post Are Your Beauty Products Contributing to Hormone Imbalance for more info.

2.  Eat more veggies.  Things like cruciferous vegetables contain a compound that help to support phase 1 of estrogen detoxification.  Even raw carrots contain a beneficial fiber that helps to eliminate estrogen from your system.  Don’t forget your leafy green veggies that are a good source of folate and support phase 2 of estrogen detoxification.  These are easy things you can incorporate into your daily meals.

3.  Love your liver with castor oil packs. I wrote a whole post about it so go check it out here.

4.  Get enough sleep. Sleep is super critical for overall health and it is whenyour body does a lot of repair work.  Just two consecutive night of not sleeping well can negatively impact your cortisol levels.  And high cortisol can lead to high estrogen.  Get to bed by 10pm and work toward getting at least eight hours per night.

5.  Manage your stress. I can’t emphasis this one enough!  Stress is terrible for your hormones.  Stress negatively impacts your adrenal glands and cortisol levels, which makes it really hard to get your hormones back on track.  Deep breathing, getting out in nature, and a daily self-care ritual are my favorite ways to keep my stress in check.

Resolving estrogen dominance is a multi-factorial process including nutrition, lifestyle, proper detoxification, and healing other bodily systems like the adrenals and gut.

ARE YOU READY TO GET TESTED AND TURN YOUR HEALTH AROUND?  CLICK THE BUTTON BELOW TO REQUEST A FREE 30 MINUTE DISCOVERY CALL…

Schedule Your FREE 30 Minute Discovery Call

As a Holistic Dietitian and Functional Diagnostic Nutrition Practitioner, I help clients get proper testing, assist in the process of reading those results using clinical correlation (treating the patient and not just the test results), and give them the proper tools (diet, supplements, and lifestyle) to start the healing process.

  The post Estrogen Dominance…6 Root Causes That Are Easy to Miss appeared first on The Organic Dietitian.

[rosemccrayne]

Estrogen Dominance…6 Root Causes That Are Easy to Miss

Estrogen dominance is very common these days,but that DOES NOT make it normal.  Our modern world creates the perfect environment for estrogen to take over.  It may seem impossible, but you can do something about it.  Yes, YOU can!  You just have to know what is causing estrogen dominance in you specifically.  There is no “one size fits all” when it comes to addressing estrogen dominance.  I know because I spent years trying to figure out what was causing estrogen dominance in my own body.  Different doctors told me what to do, but nothing was helping.  That’s because no one was addressing the root cause.

I work with a lot of women dealing with the symptoms of estrogen dominance.  Things like PMS, heavy or irregular periods, bloating, breast tenderness, headaches, brain fog, mood swings, depression, irritability, low libido, histamine intolerance, fibroids, endometriosis, thyroid problems, gall bladder issues, and blood sugar issues.  Any of these sound familiar?

Many things can contribute but here is a list of the top causes I see with my clients…

1. Gut dysbiosis (bacterial imbalance)

Your gut and hormones are absolutely connected.  Glucuronidation is one of the major phase 2 detoxification pathways in the liver that helps us eliminate hormones from the body.  An enzyme called beta glucuronidase can block this detoxification process, which can cause your hormones (including estrogen) to get reabsorbed, reactivated, and put back into circulation.  Beta glucuronidase is produced by imbalanced intestinal bacteria.

So to address the cause, you need to lower this enzyme by balancing your gut bacteria.  Sorry to say it but simply taking a probiotic is usually not enough to re-balance the gut.  Get a good stool test, like the GI MAP, to address bacterial overgrowth.  The nice thing about the GI MAP is that it actually tests for the beta glucuronidase enzyme.  This result below was the first GI MAP I took…it showed over double what the lab considers normal!  In order to address the cause, I worked to re-balance my gut bacteria, which is a process that should be customized to you and your microbiome.

2. Poor liver detoxification (overall, phase 1, or phase 2?)  

If your liver is sluggish, then it will be difficult to clear estrogen from your body, no matter what.  We live in a pretty toxic world, which makes our livers work really hard.  The liver processes hormones to get them ready to be eliminated from the body.  If the liver is not functioning optimally, estrogen levels can be high because your body is not breaking it down and getting rid of it like it should.  It is important to know if there is a specific phase of liver detoxification where estrogen is getting backed up.  This information can help figure out what you need to do to address the cause.

If phase 1 of estrogen metabolism is stuck then a supplement like DIM can help but if that isn’t the problem, then you could be wasting your money on an unnecessary supplement or even cause estrogen to drop too low.

Phase 2 of estrogen detoxification is a process called methylation.  Genetically we might not be good at methylating properly, but we also depend on certain nutrients for this process to work correctly.  We need vitamin folate, B12, B6, and magnesium. If you are deficient, then that could be a contributing factor to your estrogen dominance.  These pathways can’t be tested using blood or saliva, but you can test them with urine, which is why I use DUTCH test by Precision Analytical with my clients.  So much more information!  Save yourself a lot of trouble and get tested instead of guessing.

3. Constipation

I talk about pooping all the time with my clients.  Your bowel movements can tell you a lot about your health.  When you are not having at least one bowel movement per day, when you are not eliminating fully, or when you are going and it looks like little pellets, then you are constipated.  Estrogen that should have been eliminated from the body in your stool is reabsorbed in the gut and re-circulates in the body.  It’s the gut’s responsibility to eliminate hormones.  Get to the root cause of your constipation.  Is it your thyroid, gut pathogens, motility issues, dehydration, low fiber, stress, or something else?  Start by increase your water intake.  You should be drinking at least half of your body weight in pounds in ounces of water per day (coffee and alcohol doesn’t count).  Then make sure you are eating enough fiber by increasing your intake of fruits and vegetables.  If that doesn’t help then you may need to investigate further.  Test your thyroid and gut with functional lab testing.  Proper testing is key!

4.  Low progesterone

Estrogen dominance does not always equal high estrogen.  Estrogen can be at a normal level, but if progesterone is too low then you can still have estrogen dominance symptoms.  So why is progesterone low?  Not eating enough healthy fats, too low body weight, chronic stress, HPA axis dysfunction (AKA adrenal fatigue), gluten sensitivity, lack of ovulation, hypothyroidism, or high prolactin– these are just some causes of low progesterone.  It is all about getting to YOUR root cause.  A good practitioner should be able to help you with this investigation.  That is exactly what I do with my clients.

5.  Copper toxicity and Other Heavy Metals

We can become copper toxic in a variety of ways.  Hormonal birth control (pill, patch, ring), copper pipes, copper IUDs, hormone replacement therapy.  It can even be something that was passed to you in-utero from your mother.  Copper stimulates estrogen production and estrogen can increase copper; they are very connected.  When one goes up the other can follow.  In my practice I use hair mineral analysis testing to look for copper issues.  If you have looked at all the other factors and still can’t seem to find out what is causing your high estrogen, then it might be time to consider copper.

Other heavy metals like aluminum, mercury, and lead are also considered metalloestrogens, which means that they have the ability to mimic estrogen in the body.  Some metals are considered essential minerals, but if the concentration of these metals become too high, they can interfere with hormones.  These types of metals are much harder for the body to eliminate on its own.  I like to do a hair mineral analysis test with clients, especially when they are having a hard time addressing why their estrogen is high.

6.  Inflammation

Do you have a lot of inflammation in your body?  Maybe aches, pains, skin problems, joint discomfort, gut issues, heart problems, excess weight, inflamed gums in your mouth?  Do you have a lot of food sensitivities?  Have you been exposed to a lot of toxins?  Inflammation anywhere in your body can be a problem because it can drive up your production of cortisol (your stress hormone that can also be anti-inflammatory).  High cortisol can equal higher DHEA, which then can get made into testosterone and – yes-even estrogen.

These are the top root causes of estrogen dominance that I see in my practice.  It is also very possible to have more than one root cause.  This can be an overwhelming and sometimes complicated beat to tackle.  Working with someone that can help you navigate your root cause(s) and provide you with the best game plan to get your hormones back into balance can be very helpful.   When your hormones are balanced it is easier to maintain a healthy weight, have clear skin, have healthier periods, and slow down the aging process.  If you don’t have the ability to work with a professional, below are a couple things you can  start to do on your own.

What can you start doing today to help your estrogen?

 1.  Use safer beauty products. Toxic chemicals in conventional beauty products can be hormone disruptors.  These chemicals can act like hormones in your body and contribute to higher estrogen levels.  Beautycounter is my favorite safer beauty line!  Consider swapping out your shampoo, conditioner, lotion, soap, and makeup for non-toxic products.  Read my post Are Your Beauty Products Contributing to Hormone Imbalance for more info.

2.  Eat more veggies.  Things like cruciferous vegetables contain a compound that help to support phase 1 of estrogen detoxification.  Even raw carrots contain a beneficial fiber that helps to eliminate estrogen from your system.  Don’t forget your leafy green veggies that are a good source of folate and support phase 2 of estrogen detoxification.  These are easy things you can incorporate into your daily meals.

3.  Love your liver with castor oil packs. I wrote a whole post about it so go check it out here.

4.  Get enough sleep. Sleep is super critical for overall health and it is whenyour body does a lot of repair work.  Just two consecutive night of not sleeping well can negatively impact your cortisol levels.  And high cortisol can lead to high estrogen.  Get to bed by 10pm and work toward getting at least eight hours per night.

5.  Manage your stress. I can’t emphasis this one enough!  Stress is terrible for your hormones.  Stress negatively impacts your adrenal glands and cortisol levels, which makes it really hard to get your hormones back on track.  Deep breathing, getting out in nature, and a daily self-care ritual are my favorite ways to keep my stress in check.

Resolving estrogen dominance is a multi-factorial process including nutrition, lifestyle, proper detoxification, and healing other bodily systems like the adrenals and gut.

ARE YOU READY TO GET TESTED AND TURN YOUR HEALTH AROUND?  CLICK THE BUTTON BELOW TO REQUEST A FREE 30 MINUTE DISCOVERY CALL…

Schedule Your FREE 30 Minute Discovery Call

As a Holistic Dietitian and Functional Diagnostic Nutrition Practitioner, I help clients get proper testing, assist in the process of reading those results using clinical correlation (treating the patient and not just the test results), and give them the proper tools (diet, supplements, and lifestyle) to start the healing process.

  The post Estrogen Dominance…6 Root Causes That Are Easy to Miss appeared first on The Organic Dietitian.

[kathrinelewisne]

Estrogen Dominance…6 Root Causes That Are Easy to Miss

Estrogen dominance is very common these days,but that DOES NOT make it normal.  Our modern world creates the perfect environment for estrogen to take over.  It may seem impossible, but you can do something about it.  Yes, YOU can!  You just have to know what is causing estrogen dominance in you specifically.  There is no “one size fits all” when it comes to addressing estrogen dominance.  I know because I spent years trying to figure out what was causing estrogen dominance in my own body.  Different doctors told me what to do, but nothing was helping.  That’s because no one was addressing the root cause.

I work with a lot of women dealing with the symptoms of estrogen dominance.  Things like PMS, heavy or irregular periods, bloating, breast tenderness, headaches, brain fog, mood swings, depression, irritability, low libido, histamine intolerance, fibroids, endometriosis, thyroid problems, gall bladder issues, and blood sugar issues.  Any of these sound familiar?

Many things can contribute but here is a list of the top causes I see with my clients…

1. Gut dysbiosis (bacterial imbalance)

Your gut and hormones are absolutely connected.  Glucuronidation is one of the major phase 2 detoxification pathways in the liver that helps us eliminate hormones from the body.  An enzyme called beta glucuronidase can block this detoxification process, which can cause your hormones (including estrogen) to get reabsorbed, reactivated, and put back into circulation.  Beta glucuronidase is produced by imbalanced intestinal bacteria.

So to address the cause, you need to lower this enzyme by balancing your gut bacteria.  Sorry to say it but simply taking a probiotic is usually not enough to re-balance the gut.  Get a good stool test, like the GI MAP, to address bacterial overgrowth.  The nice thing about the GI MAP is that it actually tests for the beta glucuronidase enzyme.  This result below was the first GI MAP I took…it showed over double what the lab considers normal!  In order to address the cause, I worked to re-balance my gut bacteria, which is a process that should be customized to you and your microbiome.

2. Poor liver detoxification (overall, phase 1, or phase 2?)  

If your liver is sluggish, then it will be difficult to clear estrogen from your body, no matter what.  We live in a pretty toxic world, which makes our livers work really hard.  The liver processes hormones to get them ready to be eliminated from the body.  If the liver is not functioning optimally, estrogen levels can be high because your body is not breaking it down and getting rid of it like it should.  It is important to know if there is a specific phase of liver detoxification where estrogen is getting backed up.  This information can help figure out what you need to do to address the cause.

If phase 1 of estrogen metabolism is stuck then a supplement like DIM can help but if that isn’t the problem, then you could be wasting your money on an unnecessary supplement or even cause estrogen to drop too low.

Phase 2 of estrogen detoxification is a process called methylation.  Genetically we might not be good at methylating properly, but we also depend on certain nutrients for this process to work correctly.  We need vitamin folate, B12, B6, and magnesium. If you are deficient, then that could be a contributing factor to your estrogen dominance.  These pathways can’t be tested using blood or saliva, but you can test them with urine, which is why I use DUTCH test by Precision Analytical with my clients.  So much more information!  Save yourself a lot of trouble and get tested instead of guessing.

3. Constipation

I talk about pooping all the time with my clients.  Your bowel movements can tell you a lot about your health.  When you are not having at least one bowel movement per day, when you are not eliminating fully, or when you are going and it looks like little pellets, then you are constipated.  Estrogen that should have been eliminated from the body in your stool is reabsorbed in the gut and re-circulates in the body.  It’s the gut’s responsibility to eliminate hormones.  Get to the root cause of your constipation.  Is it your thyroid, gut pathogens, motility issues, dehydration, low fiber, stress, or something else?  Start by increase your water intake.  You should be drinking at least half of your body weight in pounds in ounces of water per day (coffee and alcohol doesn’t count).  Then make sure you are eating enough fiber by increasing your intake of fruits and vegetables.  If that doesn’t help then you may need to investigate further.  Test your thyroid and gut with functional lab testing.  Proper testing is key!

4.  Low progesterone

Estrogen dominance does not always equal high estrogen.  Estrogen can be at a normal level, but if progesterone is too low then you can still have estrogen dominance symptoms.  So why is progesterone low?  Not eating enough healthy fats, too low body weight, chronic stress, HPA axis dysfunction (AKA adrenal fatigue), gluten sensitivity, lack of ovulation, hypothyroidism, or high prolactin– these are just some causes of low progesterone.  It is all about getting to YOUR root cause.  A good practitioner should be able to help you with this investigation.  That is exactly what I do with my clients.

5.  Copper toxicity and Other Heavy Metals

We can become copper toxic in a variety of ways.  Hormonal birth control (pill, patch, ring), copper pipes, copper IUDs, hormone replacement therapy.  It can even be something that was passed to you in-utero from your mother.  Copper stimulates estrogen production and estrogen can increase copper; they are very connected.  When one goes up the other can follow.  In my practice I use hair mineral analysis testing to look for copper issues.  If you have looked at all the other factors and still can’t seem to find out what is causing your high estrogen, then it might be time to consider copper.

Other heavy metals like aluminum, mercury, and lead are also considered metalloestrogens, which means that they have the ability to mimic estrogen in the body.  Some metals are considered essential minerals, but if the concentration of these metals become too high, they can interfere with hormones.  These types of metals are much harder for the body to eliminate on its own.  I like to do a hair mineral analysis test with clients, especially when they are having a hard time addressing why their estrogen is high.

6.  Inflammation

Do you have a lot of inflammation in your body?  Maybe aches, pains, skin problems, joint discomfort, gut issues, heart problems, excess weight, inflamed gums in your mouth?  Do you have a lot of food sensitivities?  Have you been exposed to a lot of toxins?  Inflammation anywhere in your body can be a problem because it can drive up your production of cortisol (your stress hormone that can also be anti-inflammatory).  High cortisol can equal higher DHEA, which then can get made into testosterone and – yes-even estrogen.

These are the top root causes of estrogen dominance that I see in my practice.  It is also very possible to have more than one root cause.  This can be an overwhelming and sometimes complicated beat to tackle.  Working with someone that can help you navigate your root cause(s) and provide you with the best game plan to get your hormones back into balance can be very helpful.   When your hormones are balanced it is easier to maintain a healthy weight, have clear skin, have healthier periods, and slow down the aging process.  If you don’t have the ability to work with a professional, below are a couple things you can  start to do on your own.

What can you start doing today to help your estrogen?

 1.  Use safer beauty products. Toxic chemicals in conventional beauty products can be hormone disruptors.  These chemicals can act like hormones in your body and contribute to higher estrogen levels.  Beautycounter is my favorite safer beauty line!  Consider swapping out your shampoo, conditioner, lotion, soap, and makeup for non-toxic products.  Read my post Are Your Beauty Products Contributing to Hormone Imbalance for more info.

2.  Eat more veggies.  Things like cruciferous vegetables contain a compound that help to support phase 1 of estrogen detoxification.  Even raw carrots contain a beneficial fiber that helps to eliminate estrogen from your system.  Don’t forget your leafy green veggies that are a good source of folate and support phase 2 of estrogen detoxification.  These are easy things you can incorporate into your daily meals.

3.  Love your liver with castor oil packs. I wrote a whole post about it so go check it out here.

4.  Get enough sleep. Sleep is super critical for overall health and it is whenyour body does a lot of repair work.  Just two consecutive night of not sleeping well can negatively impact your cortisol levels.  And high cortisol can lead to high estrogen.  Get to bed by 10pm and work toward getting at least eight hours per night.

5.  Manage your stress. I can’t emphasis this one enough!  Stress is terrible for your hormones.  Stress negatively impacts your adrenal glands and cortisol levels, which makes it really hard to get your hormones back on track.  Deep breathing, getting out in nature, and a daily self-care ritual are my favorite ways to keep my stress in check.

Resolving estrogen dominance is a multi-factorial process including nutrition, lifestyle, proper detoxification, and healing other bodily systems like the adrenals and gut.

ARE YOU READY TO GET TESTED AND TURN YOUR HEALTH AROUND?  CLICK THE BUTTON BELOW TO REQUEST A FREE 30 MINUTE DISCOVERY CALL…

Schedule Your FREE 30 Minute Discovery Call

As a Holistic Dietitian and Functional Diagnostic Nutrition Practitioner, I help clients get proper testing, assist in the process of reading those results using clinical correlation (treating the patient and not just the test results), and give them the proper tools (diet, supplements, and lifestyle) to start the healing process.

  The post Estrogen Dominance…6 Root Causes That Are Easy to Miss appeared first on The Organic Dietitian.

[ivorysandersonmkna]

Estrogen Dominance…6 Root Causes That Are Easy to Miss

Estrogen dominance is very common these days,but that DOES NOT make it normal.  Our modern world creates the perfect environment for estrogen to take over.  It may seem impossible, but you can do something about it.  Yes, YOU can!  You just have to know what is causing estrogen dominance in you specifically.  There is no “one size fits all” when it comes to addressing estrogen dominance.  I know because I spent years trying to figure out what was causing estrogen dominance in my own body.  Different doctors told me what to do, but nothing was helping.  That’s because no one was addressing the root cause.

I work with a lot of women dealing with the symptoms of estrogen dominance.  Things like PMS, heavy or irregular periods, bloating, breast tenderness, headaches, brain fog, mood swings, depression, irritability, low libido, histamine intolerance, fibroids, endometriosis, thyroid problems, gall bladder issues, and blood sugar issues.  Any of these sound familiar?

Many things can contribute but here is a list of the top causes I see with my clients…

1. Gut dysbiosis (bacterial imbalance)

Your gut and hormones are absolutely connected.  Glucuronidation is one of the major phase 2 detoxification pathways in the liver that helps us eliminate hormones from the body.  An enzyme called beta glucuronidase can block this detoxification process, which can cause your hormones (including estrogen) to get reabsorbed, reactivated, and put back into circulation.  Beta glucuronidase is produced by imbalanced intestinal bacteria.

So to address the cause, you need to lower this enzyme by balancing your gut bacteria.  Sorry to say it but simply taking a probiotic is usually not enough to re-balance the gut.  Get a good stool test, like the GI MAP, to address bacterial overgrowth.  The nice thing about the GI MAP is that it actually tests for the beta glucuronidase enzyme.  This result below was the first GI MAP I took…it showed over double what the lab considers normal!  In order to address the cause, I worked to re-balance my gut bacteria, which is a process that should be customized to you and your microbiome.

2. Poor liver detoxification (overall, phase 1, or phase 2?)  

If your liver is sluggish, then it will be difficult to clear estrogen from your body, no matter what.  We live in a pretty toxic world, which makes our livers work really hard.  The liver processes hormones to get them ready to be eliminated from the body.  If the liver is not functioning optimally, estrogen levels can be high because your body is not breaking it down and getting rid of it like it should.  It is important to know if there is a specific phase of liver detoxification where estrogen is getting backed up.  This information can help figure out what you need to do to address the cause.

If phase 1 of estrogen metabolism is stuck then a supplement like DIM can help but if that isn’t the problem, then you could be wasting your money on an unnecessary supplement or even cause estrogen to drop too low.

Phase 2 of estrogen detoxification is a process called methylation.  Genetically we might not be good at methylating properly, but we also depend on certain nutrients for this process to work correctly.  We need vitamin folate, B12, B6, and magnesium. If you are deficient, then that could be a contributing factor to your estrogen dominance.  These pathways can’t be tested using blood or saliva, but you can test them with urine, which is why I use DUTCH test by Precision Analytical with my clients.  So much more information!  Save yourself a lot of trouble and get tested instead of guessing.

3. Constipation

I talk about pooping all the time with my clients.  Your bowel movements can tell you a lot about your health.  When you are not having at least one bowel movement per day, when you are not eliminating fully, or when you are going and it looks like little pellets, then you are constipated.  Estrogen that should have been eliminated from the body in your stool is reabsorbed in the gut and re-circulates in the body.  It’s the gut’s responsibility to eliminate hormones.  Get to the root cause of your constipation.  Is it your thyroid, gut pathogens, motility issues, dehydration, low fiber, stress, or something else?  Start by increase your water intake.  You should be drinking at least half of your body weight in pounds in ounces of water per day (coffee and alcohol doesn’t count).  Then make sure you are eating enough fiber by increasing your intake of fruits and vegetables.  If that doesn’t help then you may need to investigate further.  Test your thyroid and gut with functional lab testing.  Proper testing is key!

4.  Low progesterone

Estrogen dominance does not always equal high estrogen.  Estrogen can be at a normal level, but if progesterone is too low then you can still have estrogen dominance symptoms.  So why is progesterone low?  Not eating enough healthy fats, too low body weight, chronic stress, HPA axis dysfunction (AKA adrenal fatigue), gluten sensitivity, lack of ovulation, hypothyroidism, or high prolactin– these are just some causes of low progesterone.  It is all about getting to YOUR root cause.  A good practitioner should be able to help you with this investigation.  That is exactly what I do with my clients.

5.  Copper toxicity and Other Heavy Metals

We can become copper toxic in a variety of ways.  Hormonal birth control (pill, patch, ring), copper pipes, copper IUDs, hormone replacement therapy.  It can even be something that was passed to you in-utero from your mother.  Copper stimulates estrogen production and estrogen can increase copper; they are very connected.  When one goes up the other can follow.  In my practice I use hair mineral analysis testing to look for copper issues.  If you have looked at all the other factors and still can’t seem to find out what is causing your high estrogen, then it might be time to consider copper.

Other heavy metals like aluminum, mercury, and lead are also considered metalloestrogens, which means that they have the ability to mimic estrogen in the body.  Some metals are considered essential minerals, but if the concentration of these metals become too high, they can interfere with hormones.  These types of metals are much harder for the body to eliminate on its own.  I like to do a hair mineral analysis test with clients, especially when they are having a hard time addressing why their estrogen is high.

6.  Inflammation

Do you have a lot of inflammation in your body?  Maybe aches, pains, skin problems, joint discomfort, gut issues, heart problems, excess weight, inflamed gums in your mouth?  Do you have a lot of food sensitivities?  Have you been exposed to a lot of toxins?  Inflammation anywhere in your body can be a problem because it can drive up your production of cortisol (your stress hormone that can also be anti-inflammatory).  High cortisol can equal higher DHEA, which then can get made into testosterone and – yes-even estrogen.

These are the top root causes of estrogen dominance that I see in my practice.  It is also very possible to have more than one root cause.  This can be an overwhelming and sometimes complicated beat to tackle.  Working with someone that can help you navigate your root cause(s) and provide you with the best game plan to get your hormones back into balance can be very helpful.   When your hormones are balanced it is easier to maintain a healthy weight, have clear skin, have healthier periods, and slow down the aging process.  If you don’t have the ability to work with a professional, below are a couple things you can  start to do on your own.

What can you start doing today to help your estrogen?

 1.  Use safer beauty products. Toxic chemicals in conventional beauty products can be hormone disruptors.  These chemicals can act like hormones in your body and contribute to higher estrogen levels.  Beautycounter is my favorite safer beauty line!  Consider swapping out your shampoo, conditioner, lotion, soap, and makeup for non-toxic products.  Read my post Are Your Beauty Products Contributing to Hormone Imbalance for more info.

2.  Eat more veggies.  Things like cruciferous vegetables contain a compound that help to support phase 1 of estrogen detoxification.  Even raw carrots contain a beneficial fiber that helps to eliminate estrogen from your system.  Don’t forget your leafy green veggies that are a good source of folate and support phase 2 of estrogen detoxification.  These are easy things you can incorporate into your daily meals.

3.  Love your liver with castor oil packs. I wrote a whole post about it so go check it out here.

4.  Get enough sleep. Sleep is super critical for overall health and it is whenyour body does a lot of repair work.  Just two consecutive night of not sleeping well can negatively impact your cortisol levels.  And high cortisol can lead to high estrogen.  Get to bed by 10pm and work toward getting at least eight hours per night.

5.  Manage your stress. I can’t emphasis this one enough!  Stress is terrible for your hormones.  Stress negatively impacts your adrenal glands and cortisol levels, which makes it really hard to get your hormones back on track.  Deep breathing, getting out in nature, and a daily self-care ritual are my favorite ways to keep my stress in check.

Resolving estrogen dominance is a multi-factorial process including nutrition, lifestyle, proper detoxification, and healing other bodily systems like the adrenals and gut.

ARE YOU READY TO GET TESTED AND TURN YOUR HEALTH AROUND?  CLICK THE BUTTON BELOW TO REQUEST A FREE 30 MINUTE DISCOVERY CALL…

Schedule Your FREE 30 Minute Discovery Call

As a Holistic Dietitian and Functional Diagnostic Nutrition Practitioner, I help clients get proper testing, assist in the process of reading those results using clinical correlation (treating the patient and not just the test results), and give them the proper tools (diet, supplements, and lifestyle) to start the healing process.

  The post Estrogen Dominance…6 Root Causes That Are Easy to Miss appeared first on The Organic Dietitian.

[scottrennne]

Estrogen Dominance…6 Root Causes That Are Easy to Miss

Estrogen dominance is very common these days,but that DOES NOT make it normal.�� Our modern world creates the perfect environment for estrogen to take over.  It may seem impossible, but you can do something about it.  Yes, YOU can!  You just have to know what is causing estrogen dominance in you specifically.  There is no “one size fits all” when it comes to addressing estrogen dominance.  I know because I spent years trying to figure out what was causing estrogen dominance in my own body.  Different doctors told me what to do, but nothing was helping.  That’s because no one was addressing the root cause.

I work with a lot of women dealing with the symptoms of estrogen dominance.  Things like PMS, heavy or irregular periods, bloating, breast tenderness, headaches, brain fog, mood swings, depression, irritability, low libido, histamine intolerance, fibroids, endometriosis, thyroid problems, gall bladder issues, and blood sugar issues.  Any of these sound familiar?

Many things can contribute but here is a list of the top causes I see with my clients…

1. Gut dysbiosis (bacterial imbalance)

Your gut and hormones are absolutely connected.  Glucuronidation is one of the major phase 2 detoxification pathways in the liver that helps us eliminate hormones from the body.  An enzyme called beta glucuronidase can block this detoxification process, which can cause your hormones (including estrogen) to get reabsorbed, reactivated, and put back into circulation.  Beta glucuronidase is produced by imbalanced intestinal bacteria.

So to address the cause, you need to lower this enzyme by balancing your gut bacteria.  Sorry to say it but simply taking a probiotic is usually not enough to re-balance the gut.  Get a good stool test, like the GI MAP, to address bacterial overgrowth.  The nice thing about the GI MAP is that it actually tests for the beta glucuronidase enzyme.  This result below was the first GI MAP I took…it showed over double what the lab considers normal!  In order to address the cause, I worked to re-balance my gut bacteria, which is a process that should be customized to you and your microbiome.

2. Poor liver detoxification (overall, phase 1, or phase 2?)  

If your liver is sluggish, then it will be difficult to clear estrogen from your body, no matter what.  We live in a pretty toxic world, which makes our livers work really hard.  The liver processes hormones to get them ready to be eliminated from the body.  If the liver is not functioning optimally, estrogen levels can be high because your body is not breaking it down and getting rid of it like it should.  It is important to know if there is a specific phase of liver detoxification where estrogen is getting backed up.  This information can help figure out what you need to do to address the cause.

If phase 1 of estrogen metabolism is stuck then a supplement like DIM can help but if that isn’t the problem, then you could be wasting your money on an unnecessary supplement or even cause estrogen to drop too low.

Phase 2 of estrogen detoxification is a process called methylation.  Genetically we might not be good at methylating properly, but we also depend on certain nutrients for this process to work correctly.  We need vitamin folate, B12, B6, and magnesium. If you are deficient, then that could be a contributing factor to your estrogen dominance.  These pathways can’t be tested using blood or saliva, but you can test them with urine, which is why I use DUTCH test by Precision Analytical with my clients.  So much more information!  Save yourself a lot of trouble and get tested instead of guessing.

3. Constipation

I talk about pooping all the time with my clients.  Your bowel movements can tell you a lot about your health.  When you are not having at least one bowel movement per day, when you are not eliminating fully, or when you are going and it looks like little pellets, then you are constipated.  Estrogen that should have been eliminated from the body in your stool is reabsorbed in the gut and re-circulates in the body.  It’s the gut’s responsibility to eliminate hormones.  Get to the root cause of your constipation.  Is it your thyroid, gut pathogens, motility issues, dehydration, low fiber, stress, or something else?  Start by increase your water intake.  You should be drinking at least half of your body weight in pounds in ounces of water per day (coffee and alcohol doesn’t count).  Then make sure you are eating enough fiber by increasing your intake of fruits and vegetables.  If that doesn’t help then you may need to investigate further.  Test your thyroid and gut with functional lab testing.  Proper testing is key!

4.  Low progesterone

Estrogen dominance does not always equal high estrogen.  Estrogen can be at a normal level, but if progesterone is too low then you can still have estrogen dominance symptoms.  So why is progesterone low?  Not eating enough healthy fats, too low body weight, chronic stress, HPA axis dysfunction (AKA adrenal fatigue), gluten sensitivity, lack of ovulation, hypothyroidism, or high prolactin– these are just some causes of low progesterone.  It is all about getting to YOUR root cause.  A good practitioner should be able to help you with this investigation.  That is exactly what I do with my clients.

5.  Copper toxicity and Other Heavy Metals

We can become copper toxic in a variety of ways.  Hormonal birth control (pill, patch, ring), copper pipes, copper IUDs, hormone replacement therapy.  It can even be something that was passed to you in-utero from your mother.  Copper stimulates estrogen production and estrogen can increase copper; they are very connected.  When one goes up the other can follow.  In my practice I use hair mineral analysis testing to look for copper issues.  If you have looked at all the other factors and still can’t seem to find out what is causing your high estrogen, then it might be time to consider copper.

Other heavy metals like aluminum, mercury, and lead are also considered metalloestrogens, which means that they have the ability to mimic estrogen in the body.  Some metals are considered essential minerals, but if the concentration of these metals become too high, they can interfere with hormones.  These types of metals are much harder for the body to eliminate on its own.  I like to do a hair mineral analysis test with clients, especially when they are having a hard time addressing why their estrogen is high.

6.  Inflammation

Do you have a lot of inflammation in your body?  Maybe aches, pains, skin problems, joint discomfort, gut issues, heart problems, excess weight, inflamed gums in your mouth?  Do you have a lot of food sensitivities?  Have you been exposed to a lot of toxins?  Inflammation anywhere in your body can be a problem because it can drive up your production of cortisol (your stress hormone that can also be anti-inflammatory).  High cortisol can equal higher DHEA, which then can get made into testosterone and – yes-even estrogen.

These are the top root causes of estrogen dominance that I see in my practice.  It is also very possible to have more than one root cause.  This can be an overwhelming and sometimes complicated beat to tackle.  Working with someone that can help you navigate your root cause(s) and provide you with the best game plan to get your hormones back into balance can be very helpful.   When your hormones are balanced it is easier to maintain a healthy weight, have clear skin, have healthier periods, and slow down the aging process.  If you don’t have the ability to work with a professional, below are a couple things you can  start to do on your own.

What can you start doing today to help your estrogen?

 1.  Use safer beauty products. Toxic chemicals in conventional beauty products can be hormone disruptors.  These chemicals can act like hormones in your body and contribute to higher estrogen levels.  Beautycounter is my favorite safer beauty line!  Consider swapping out your shampoo, conditioner, lotion, soap, and makeup for non-toxic products.  Read my post Are Your Beauty Products Contributing to Hormone Imbalance for more info.

2.  Eat more veggies.  Things like cruciferous vegetables contain a compound that help to support phase 1 of estrogen detoxification.  Even raw carrots contain a beneficial fiber that helps to eliminate estrogen from your system.  Don’t forget your leafy green veggies that are a good source of folate and support phase 2 of estrogen detoxification.  These are easy things you can incorporate into your daily meals.

3.  Love your liver with castor oil packs. I wrote a whole post about it so go check it out here.

4.  Get enough sleep. Sleep is super critical for overall health and it is whenyour body does a lot of repair work.  Just two consecutive night of not sleeping well can negatively impact your cortisol levels.  And high cortisol can lead to high estrogen.  Get to bed by 10pm and work toward getting at least eight hours per night.

5.  Manage your stress. I can’t emphasis this one enough!  Stress is terrible for your hormones.  Stress negatively impacts your adrenal glands and cortisol levels, which makes it really hard to get your hormones back on track.  Deep breathing, getting out in nature, and a daily self-care ritual are my favorite ways to keep my stress in check.

Resolving estrogen dominance is a multi-factorial process including nutrition, lifestyle, proper detoxification, and healing other bodily systems like the adrenals and gut.

ARE YOU READY TO GET TESTED AND TURN YOUR HEALTH AROUND?  CLICK THE BUTTON BELOW TO REQUEST A FREE 30 MINUTE DISCOVERY CALL…

Schedule Your FREE 30 Minute Discovery Call

As a Holistic Dietitian and Functional Diagnostic Nutrition Practitioner, I help clients get proper testing, assist in the process of reading those results using clinical correlation (treating the patient and not just the test results), and give them the proper tools (diet, supplements, and lifestyle) to start the healing process.

  The post Estrogen Dominance…6 Root Causes That Are Easy to Miss appeared first on The Organic Dietitian.

[felipestewartne]

Estrogen Dominance…6 Root Causes That Are Easy to Miss

Estrogen dominance is very common these days,but that DOES NOT make it normal.  Our modern world creates the perfect environment for estrogen to take over.  It may seem impossible, but you can do something about it.  Yes, YOU can!  You just have to know what is causing estrogen dominance in you specifically.  There is no “one size fits all” when it comes to addressing estrogen dominance.  I know because I spent years trying to figure out what was causing estrogen dominance in my own body.  Different doctors told me what to do, but nothing was helping.  That’s because no one was addressing the root cause.

I work with a lot of women dealing with the symptoms of estrogen dominance.  Things like PMS, heavy or irregular periods, bloating, breast tenderness, headaches, brain fog, mood swings, depression, irritability, low libido, histamine intolerance, fibroids, endometriosis, thyroid problems, gall bladder issues, and blood sugar issues.  Any of these sound familiar?

Many things can contribute but here is a list of the top causes I see with my clients…

1. Gut dysbiosis (bacterial imbalance)

Your gut and hormones are absolutely connected.  Glucuronidation is one of the major phase 2 detoxification pathways in the liver that helps us eliminate hormones from the body.  An enzyme called beta glucuronidase can block this detoxification process, which can cause your hormones (including estrogen) to get reabsorbed, reactivated, and put back into circulation.  Beta glucuronidase is produced by imbalanced intestinal bacteria.

So to address the cause, you need to lower this enzyme by balancing your gut bacteria.  Sorry to say it but simply taking a probiotic is usually not enough to re-balance the gut.  Get a good stool test, like the GI MAP, to address bacterial overgrowth.  The nice thing about the GI MAP is that it actually tests for the beta glucuronidase enzyme.  This result below was the first GI MAP I took…it showed over double what the lab considers normal!  In order to address the cause, I worked to re-balance my gut bacteria, which is a process that should be customized to you and your microbiome.

2. Poor liver detoxification (overall, phase 1, or phase 2?)  

If your liver is sluggish, then it will be difficult to clear estrogen from your body, no matter what.  We live in a pretty toxic world, which makes our livers work really hard.  The liver processes hormones to get them ready to be eliminated from the body.  If the liver is not functioning optimally, estrogen levels can be high because your body is not breaking it down and getting rid of it like it should.  It is important to know if there is a specific phase of liver detoxification where estrogen is getting backed up.  This information can help figure out what you need to do to address the cause.

If phase 1 of estrogen metabolism is stuck then a supplement like DIM can help but if that isn’t the problem, then you could be wasting your money on an unnecessary supplement or even cause estrogen to drop too low.

Phase 2 of estrogen detoxification is a process called methylation.  Genetically we might not be good at methylating properly, but we also depend on certain nutrients for this process to work correctly.  We need vitamin folate, B12, B6, and magnesium. If you are deficient, then that could be a contributing factor to your estrogen dominance.  These pathways can’t be tested using blood or saliva, but you can test them with urine, which is why I use DUTCH test by Precision Analytical with my clients.  So much more information!  Save yourself a lot of trouble and get tested instead of guessing.

3. Constipation

I talk about pooping all the time with my clients.  Your bowel movements can tell you a lot about your health.  When you are not having at least one bowel movement per day, when you are not eliminating fully, or when you are going and it looks like little pellets, then you are constipated.  Estrogen that should have been eliminated from the body in your stool is reabsorbed in the gut and re-circulates in the body.  It’s the gut’s responsibility to eliminate hormones.  Get to the root cause of your constipation.  Is it your thyroid, gut pathogens, motility issues, dehydration, low fiber, stress, or something else?  Start by increase your water intake.  You should be drinking at least half of your body weight in pounds in ounces of water per day (coffee and alcohol doesn’t count).  Then make sure you are eating enough fiber by increasing your intake of fruits and vegetables.  If that doesn’t help then you may need to investigate further.  Test your thyroid and gut with functional lab testing.  Proper testing is key!

4.  Low progesterone

Estrogen dominance does not always equal high estrogen.  Estrogen can be at a normal level, but if progesterone is too low then you can still have estrogen dominance symptoms.  So why is progesterone low?  Not eating enough healthy fats, too low body weight, chronic stress, HPA axis dysfunction (AKA adrenal fatigue), gluten sensitivity, lack of ovulation, hypothyroidism, or high prolactin– these are just some causes of low progesterone.  It is all about getting to YOUR root cause.  A good practitioner should be able to help you with this investigation.  That is exactly what I do with my clients.

5.  Copper toxicity and Other Heavy Metals

We can become copper toxic in a variety of ways.  Hormonal birth control (pill, patch, ring), copper pipes, copper IUDs, hormone replacement therapy.  It can even be something that was passed to you in-utero from your mother.  Copper stimulates estrogen production and estrogen can increase copper; they are very connected.  When one goes up the other can follow.  In my practice I use hair mineral analysis testing to look for copper issues.  If you have looked at all the other factors and still can’t seem to find out what is causing your high estrogen, then it might be time to consider copper.

Other heavy metals like aluminum, mercury, and lead are also considered metalloestrogens, which means that they have the ability to mimic estrogen in the body.  Some metals are considered essential minerals, but if the concentration of these metals become too high, they can interfere with hormones.  These types of metals are much harder for the body to eliminate on its own.  I like to do a hair mineral analysis test with clients, especially when they are having a hard time addressing why their estrogen is high.

6.  Inflammation

Do you have a lot of inflammation in your body?  Maybe aches, pains, skin problems, joint discomfort, gut issues, heart problems, excess weight, inflamed gums in your mouth?  Do you have a lot of food sensitivities?  Have you been exposed to a lot of toxins?  Inflammation anywhere in your body can be a problem because it can drive up your production of cortisol (your stress hormone that can also be anti-inflammatory).  High cortisol can equal higher DHEA, which then can get made into testosterone and – yes-even estrogen.

These are the top root causes of estrogen dominance that I see in my practice.  It is also very possible to have more than one root cause.  This can be an overwhelming and sometimes complicated beat to tackle.  Working with someone that can help you navigate your root cause(s) and provide you with the best game plan to get your hormones back into balance can be very helpful.   When your hormones are balanced it is easier to maintain a healthy weight, have clear skin, have healthier periods, and slow down the aging process.  If you don’t have the ability to work with a professional, below are a couple things you can  start to do on your own.

What can you start doing today to help your estrogen?

 1.  Use safer beauty products. Toxic chemicals in conventional beauty products can be hormone disruptors.  These chemicals can act like hormones in your body and contribute to higher estrogen levels.  Beautycounter is my favorite safer beauty line!  Consider swapping out your shampoo, conditioner, lotion, soap, and makeup for non-toxic products.  Read my post Are Your Beauty Products Contributing to Hormone Imbalance for more info.

2.  Eat more veggies.  Things like cruciferous vegetables contain a compound that help to support phase 1 of estrogen detoxification.  Even raw carrots contain a beneficial fiber that helps to eliminate estrogen from your system.  Don’t forget your leafy green veggies that are a good source of folate and support phase 2 of estrogen detoxification.  These are easy things you can incorporate into your daily meals.

3.  Love your liver with castor oil packs. I wrote a whole post about it so go check it out here.

4.  Get enough sleep. Sleep is super critical for overall health and it is whenyour body does a lot of repair work.  Just two consecutive night of not sleeping well can negatively impact your cortisol levels.  And high cortisol can lead to high estrogen.  Get to bed by 10pm and work toward getting at least eight hours per night.

5.  Manage your stress. I can’t emphasis this one enough!  Stress is terrible for your hormones.  Stress negatively impacts your adrenal glands and cortisol levels, which makes it really hard to get your hormones back on track.  Deep breathing, getting out in nature, and a daily self-care ritual are my favorite ways to keep my stress in check.

Resolving estrogen dominance is a multi-factorial process including nutrition, lifestyle, proper detoxification, and healing other bodily systems like the adrenals and gut.

ARE YOU READY TO GET TESTED AND TURN YOUR HEALTH AROUND?  CLICK THE BUTTON BELOW TO REQUEST A FREE 30 MINUTE DISCOVERY CALL…

Schedule Your FREE 30 Minute Discovery Call

As a Holistic Dietitian and Functional Diagnostic Nutrition Practitioner, I help clients get proper testing, assist in the process of reading those results using clinical correlation (treating the patient and not just the test results), and give them the proper tools (diet, supplements, and lifestyle) to start the healing process.

  The post Estrogen Dominance…6 Root Causes That Are Easy to Miss appeared first on The Organic Dietitian.

[aairejuvenationclinic]

What Is Testosterone?

Testosterone is a hormone. It is mostly instrumental in sexual reproduction and development in men. The National Institute of Health respects testosterone as the most important male hormone.

An androgen is any natural or synthetic compound, usually a steroid hormone, which stimulates or controls the development and maintenance of male characteristics. Testosterone, in its natural or synthetic state, belongs to this class of stabilizing male hormones.

Naturally, testosterone is produced in:

Testicles (great majority)

Adrenal glands (much smaller quantities)

Synthetic compounds may come as:

Testosterone Patches

Testosterone Injections

Testosterone Creams

Pills/Capsules

Troches

Subcutaneously injected pellets

and others

Do women have Testosterone?

Women produce testosterone as well. However, they do so in much lower numbers.

Women’s total testosterone levels are about a tenth to a twentieth of men’s levels.

Women need much less testosterone than men but it is absolutely essential to them for a healthy life.

How does Testosterone Work?

The brain incites the production of testosterone. Signals are released from the brain to the testes to produce testosterone. The glands in charge of releasing these signals are:

Pituitary Gland

Hypothalamus

In order, the initiating signal starts in the hypothalamus. That signal is sent to the pituitary gland. From the pituitary, the signal is directed straight to the testicles through chemicals and hormones that work as instruction and delivery systems in the blood stream.

Even before a baby boy is born, testosterone is fast at work in the development of his male sex organs.

During infancy, boys experience one of the highest surges in testosterone levels a person will ever experience in their entire life.

At puberty, testosterone is deeply involved in the development of secondary sexual characteristics.

– Deepening of the voice.

– Development of Adam’s apple.

– Growth and development of penis.

– Growth and development of testicles.

– Growth and development of facial hair.

– Growth and development of body hair.

As a man matures, testosterone is significantly implicated in advancing the stages of his:

– Sex drive.

– Sperm production.

– Distribution of fat.

– Development and maintenance of lean muscle mass.

– Red cell production.

– Much, much more

As it’s easy to see, testosterone is ominously important for the overall health and development of a man throughout the course of his entire life.

What Happens to Testosterone?

As we age, testosterone levels decline. Now, because it’s so important in the maintenance and overall health of our muscles, which includes the most important muscle of all, the heart, and the main male systems of operation and reproduction, declining levels of this vital hormone manifest themselves as the deterioration of that person’s quality of life. Furthermore, it signifies the early stages of the horrid disease we call aging.

How Can I Know My Testosterone Levels?

We can help with this. There is no further obligation for any person interested in simply understanding their testosterone levels with AAI Rejuvenation Clinic. In fact, we try to make the process as simple and discreet as possible for any needing patients. We can either send you to a nearby testing center (LabCorp/Quest Diagnostics). Those results would be received as quickly as 48 hours. We can, as well, send an actual phlebotomist to a patient’s home or office to collect the specimen, if said patient rather ensures that kind of convenience. For the patient that may require extra privacy, we can even send self-use at-home testing kits, which are virtually pain-free. Most importantly, they are very easy to use. Once you follow the instructions and send in your sample, you can expect result details within 11 days. Once a patient receives their blood results, they are entitled to a free consultation regarding the details contained therein. Should that patient decide the results warrant therapy, we will happily guide them through the rest of the qualification process so they can be quoted based on their individual needs. Even beyond the quote, there is no obligation. Therapies are organized and prescribed at the patient’s pace and availability.

What is Testosterone Therapy?

Let’s begin with what testosterone is not. Our extensive experience with treating patients that had been on testosterone therapy before they came to us has shown us that there is a major misconception. Even amongst testosterone users, most people don’t truly understand what testosterone therapy truly is, what it’s supposed to do, and how it actually works.

Testosterone is not fuel – taking more in an effort to get an ‘extra boost’, may cause an opposite effect. Too much Testosterone induces extra aromatization (conversion to estrogen), which will make a man sluggish and tired.

Testosterone is not energy – injecting testosterone will not promote a surge of energy. It must be metabolized and processed by the body before it can incite any biological reaction.

Testosterone is not an aphrodisiac.

Testosterone is not an optimization shot.

Someone tired in the morning has a cup of coffee. After 10 minutes, they notice they are still very tired and sluggish. What do they do? Have another cup of coffee, of course. They get an extra Umph. Coffee affects the central nervous system, as does any stimulator/energy drink/tablet/powder/herb, which gives the assimilation of having energy.

~ Testosterone does not do this. It simply does not work that way. It is nothing more than an oil in your body until your liver processes and metabolizes it into its biologically available components ~

Let’s discuss what testosterone is. What it actually does:

Testosterone incites biological actions in the body.

The point is to return levels back to youthful ones, and maintaining them there so the body can react to them and promote the changes patients read about, which entice them to participate in therapy.

Excessive amounts of Testosterone will only incite extra radicle physiological stimulations. These actions include:

– Excessive water retention

– Increased/abnormal aromatization

– Mood swings

– Libido/erectile issues

– Acne

– Muscle growth and development via water-bloated muscles. Not strong, rigid muscles.

– Etc.

Testosterone must be metabolized by different testosterone sensitive tissues in the body, such as the skin, the prostate, and our muscles, and used by them for development and regeneration.

The correct, adequate levels of Testosterone incite additional biochemical reactions in the brain stimulating neurological functions, which enhance mood, perception, acuity and cognitive functionality. (Testosterone abuse may promote the opposite biological responses)

Testosterone is an incomparable antioxidant to the heart. Second-to-none, at appropriate blood levels.

Testosterone levels maintained at youthful levels reflective of a person in their 20’s may provide the perfect biological responses in the body to make participating men feel as if they are actually in that age group, in almost all regards.

What can I expect from a correctly proportioned Testosterone Protocol?

Patients that are following their AAI physician organized protocol as delineated and regarding their intake, as well as weekly physical activity, can expect the following from Testosterone injectable therapy:

An increase in sex drive

An increase in erection frequency

An increase in erection rigidity

Heightened penile sensitivity

Accelerated muscle development

Significantly improved energy

Quicker recovery time between fitness routines

Deeper more restful sleeps

A balancing and enhancing of moods

A heightened sense of wellbeing and self-esteem

Greater cardiac functionality

Greater physical output and stamina

Increased sense of assuredness and wherewithal

A boost in mental capacities and cognitive function

Clearer thoughts with more positive attitudes.

Increased sense of initiative

Decreased levels of procrastination

And you can definitely expect others to notice.

[scottrennne]

Estrogen Dominance…6 Root Causes That Are Easy to Miss

Estrogen dominance is very common these days,but that DOES NOT make it normal.  Our modern world creates the perfect environment for estrogen to take over.  It may seem impossible, but you can do something about it.  Yes, YOU can!  You just have to know what is causing estrogen dominance in you specifically.  There is no “one size fits all” when it comes to addressing estrogen dominance.  I know because I spent years trying to figure out what was causing estrogen dominance in my own body.  Different doctors told me what to do, but nothing was helping.  That’s because no one was addressing the root cause.

I work with a lot of women dealing with the symptoms of estrogen dominance.  Things like PMS, heavy or irregular periods, bloating, breast tenderness, headaches, brain fog, mood swings, depression, irritability, low libido, histamine intolerance, fibroids, endometriosis, thyroid problems, gall bladder issues, and blood sugar issues.  Any of these sound familiar?

Many things can contribute but here is a list of the top causes I see with my clients…

1. Gut dysbiosis (bacterial imbalance)

Your gut and hormones are absolutely connected.  Glucuronidation is one of the major phase 2 detoxification pathways in the liver that helps us eliminate hormones from the body.  An enzyme called beta glucuronidase can block this detoxification process, which can cause your hormones (including estrogen) to get reabsorbed, reactivated, and put back into circulation.  Beta glucuronidase is produced by imbalanced intestinal bacteria.

So to address the cause, you need to lower this enzyme by balancing your gut bacteria.  Sorry to say it but simply taking a probiotic is usually not enough to re-balance the gut.  Get a good stool test, like the GI MAP, to address bacterial overgrowth.  The nice thing about the GI MAP is that it actually tests for the beta glucuronidase enzyme.  This result below was the first GI MAP I took…it showed over double what the lab considers normal!  In order to address the cause, I worked to re-balance my gut bacteria, which is a process that should be customized to you and your microbiome.

2. Poor liver detoxification (overall, phase 1, or phase 2?)  

If your liver is sluggish, then it will be difficult to clear estrogen from your body, no matter what.  We live in a pretty toxic world, which makes our livers work really hard.  The liver processes hormones to get them ready to be eliminated from the body.  If the liver is not functioning optimally, estrogen levels can be high because your body is not breaking it down and getting rid of it like it should.  It is important to know if there is a specific phase of liver detoxification where estrogen is getting backed up.  This information can help figure out what you need to do to address the cause.

If phase 1 of estrogen metabolism is stuck then a supplement like DIM can help but if that isn’t the problem, then you could be wasting your money on an unnecessary supplement or even cause estrogen to drop too low.

Phase 2 of estrogen detoxification is a process called methylation.  Genetically we might not be good at methylating properly, but we also depend on certain nutrients for this process to work correctly.  We need vitamin folate, B12, B6, and magnesium. If you are deficient, then that could be a contributing factor to your estrogen dominance.  These pathways can’t be tested using blood or saliva, but you can test them with urine, which is why I use DUTCH test by Precision Analytical with my clients.  So much more information!  Save yourself a lot of trouble and get tested instead of guessing.

3. Constipation

I talk about pooping all the time with my clients.  Your bowel movements can tell you a lot about your health.  When you are not having at least one bowel movement per day, when you are not eliminating fully, or when you are going and it looks like little pellets, then you are constipated.  Estrogen that should have been eliminated from the body in your stool is reabsorbed in the gut and re-circulates in the body.  It’s the gut’s responsibility to eliminate hormones.  Get to the root cause of your constipation.  Is it your thyroid, gut pathogens, motility issues, dehydration, low fiber, stress, or something else?  Start by increase your water intake.  You should be drinking at least half of your body weight in pounds in ounces of water per day (coffee and alcohol doesn’t count).  Then make sure you are eating enough fiber by increasing your intake of fruits and vegetables.  If that doesn’t help then you may need to investigate further.  Test your thyroid and gut with functional lab testing.  Proper testing is key!

4.  Low progesterone

Estrogen dominance does not always equal high estrogen.  Estrogen can be at a normal level, but if progesterone is too low then you can still have estrogen dominance symptoms.  So why is progesterone low?  Not eating enough healthy fats, too low body weight, chronic stress, HPA axis dysfunction (AKA adrenal fatigue), gluten sensitivity, lack of ovulation, hypothyroidism, or high prolactin– these are just some causes of low progesterone.  It is all about getting to YOUR root cause.  A good practitioner should be able to help you with this investigation.  That is exactly what I do with my clients.

5.  Copper toxicity and Other Heavy Metals

We can become copper toxic in a variety of ways.  Hormonal birth control (pill, patch, ring), copper pipes, copper IUDs, hormone replacement therapy.  It can even be something that was passed to you in-utero from your mother.  Copper stimulates estrogen production and estrogen can increase copper; they are very connected.  When one goes up the other can follow.  In my practice I use hair mineral analysis testing to look for copper issues.  If you have looked at all the other factors and still can’t seem to find out what is causing your high estrogen, then it might be time to consider copper.

Other heavy metals like aluminum, mercury, and lead are also considered metalloestrogens, which means that they have the ability to mimic estrogen in the body.  Some metals are considered essential minerals, but if the concentration of these metals become too high, they can interfere with hormones.  These types of metals are much harder for the body to eliminate on its own.  I like to do a hair mineral analysis test with clients, especially when they are having a hard time addressing why their estrogen is high.

6.  Inflammation

Do you have a lot of inflammation in your body?  Maybe aches, pains, skin problems, joint discomfort, gut issues, heart problems, excess weight, inflamed gums in your mouth?  Do you have a lot of food sensitivities?  Have you been exposed to a lot of toxins?  Inflammation anywhere in your body can be a problem because it can drive up your production of cortisol (your stress hormone that can also be anti-inflammatory).  High cortisol can equal higher DHEA, which then can get made into testosterone and – yes-even estrogen.

These are the top root causes of estrogen dominance that I see in my practice.  It is also very possible to have more than one root cause.  This can be an overwhelming and sometimes complicated beat to tackle.  Working with someone that can help you navigate your root cause(s) and provide you with the best game plan to get your hormones back into balance can be very helpful.   When your hormones are balanced it is easier to maintain a healthy weight, have clear skin, have healthier periods, and slow down the aging process.  If you don’t have the ability to work with a professional, below are a couple things you can  start to do on your own.

What can you start doing today to help your estrogen?

 1.  Use safer beauty products. Toxic chemicals in conventional beauty products can be hormone disruptors.  These chemicals can act like hormones in your body and contribute to higher estrogen levels.  Beautycounter is my favorite safer beauty line!  Consider swapping out your shampoo, conditioner, lotion, soap, and makeup for non-toxic products.  Read my post Are Your Beauty Products Contributing to Hormone Imbalance for more info.

2.  Eat more veggies.  Things like cruciferous vegetables contain a compound that help to support phase 1 of estrogen detoxification.  Even raw carrots contain a beneficial fiber that helps to eliminate estrogen from your system.  Don’t forget your leafy green veggies that are a good source of folate and support phase 2 of estrogen detoxification.  These are easy things you can incorporate into your daily meals.

3.  Love your liver with castor oil packs. I wrote a whole post about it so go check it out here.

4.  Get enough sleep. Sleep is super critical for overall health and it is whenyour body does a lot of repair work.  Just two consecutive night of not sleeping well can negatively impact your cortisol levels.  And high cortisol can lead to high estrogen.  Get to bed by 10pm and work toward getting at least eight hours per night.

5.  Manage your stress. I can’t emphasis this one enough!  Stress is terrible for your hormones.  Stress negatively impacts your adrenal glands and cortisol levels, which makes it really hard to get your hormones back on track.  Deep breathing, getting out in nature, and a daily self-care ritual are my favorite ways to keep my stress in check.

Resolving estrogen dominance is a multi-factorial process including nutrition, lifestyle, proper detoxification, and healing other bodily systems like the adrenals and gut.

ARE YOU READY TO GET TESTED AND TURN YOUR HEALTH AROUND?  CLICK THE BUTTON BELOW TO REQUEST A FREE 30 MINUTE DISCOVERY CALL…

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As a Holistic Dietitian and Functional Diagnostic Nutrition Practitioner, I help clients get proper testing, assist in the process of reading those results using clinical correlation (treating the patient and not just the test results), and give them the proper tools (diet, supplements, and lifestyle) to start the healing process.

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