#as amazing as karlach would be as a contestant i also feel like she's the only one with enough energy and enthusiasm to host

[yourworsttotebag]

look away if you're not a reality dating show dirtbag like me 😭

There's this show on Netflix called "Perfect Match" where they bring in all these people from the extended Netflix universe to live in a house and date and to stay in the house you have to be matched with somebody. Contestants can win compatibility challenges to earn the right to bring in new people, and choose who that new person will go on a special date with, usually hoping the new person will break up an existing couple. If you're not matched with anyone at the end of an episode, you're eliminated.

So I can see Gale as a stunt casting move. Someone drops out at the last minute so producers grab this seemingly sweet guy from like a chill baking show. Maybe he has to go because it's part of his Netflix contract and he and production are both hoping he will be eliminated during the first episode.

Evie would be fresh off of some frothy Too Hot to Handle type of show. She would take one look at Gale and know that he would get absolutely eaten alive by the Perfect Match environment so on the first night she offers a strategic/friendly match since no one is really talking to him during the mixers where most of these decisions are made.

But then the first elimination night comes and they stay matched. Ah it's only the first elimination, who cares? They weren't even sent on dates to be tempted by the new people so it makes sense to just stay together another week. And yeah the matched couples sleep in the same bed but it's a big bed, it's fine.

Did I mention the couples who win challenges also get to go on special dates together? And like, yeah whatever, Evie and Gale keep winning the compatibility challenges. And they got to go on a beach picnic which was sort of fun. And they got sent on a date that was essentially "smear paint over each other's bodies in bathing suits" and they thought it would be funny to really lean into it for the cameras and maybe got a little genuinely turned on but like - it's for TV, okay???

There's a real challenge on Perfect Match where all the contestants have to kiss each other blindfolded and rank how good the kiss was. And when they reveal the ranks, you see that most people were sort of reserved about the challenge so they don't rank anyone above a 7 but Evie is humiliated because SHE gave out a 10 and to GALE (of course Gale also gave her a 10 which she doesn't want to talk about either).

Can you imagine Evie losing her mind at warp speed because Gale got selected for a date with a new person? She'll spend the entire day convincing herself that Gale is a lost cause, this person will be his soulmate, and she needs to flirt with someone else so they will match with her and keep her in the house. But this flirting feels so hollow now because she has genuine feelings for this freaking nerd who was supposed to be gone on day one!!

ANYWAY, I think Evie would make a legendary reality TV villain who everyone hates until like 3/4 of the way through when she tells off a contestant who is actually disgusting, gets a good edit for the rest of the season, and then online fans spend the following years making posts like "here's why Evie (Season 3) was actually the most mature contestant."

I'm at "placing my otp into every piece of media I consume" level of rot