#as a fellow chocoholic i understand

[i-am-a-closet-fanfic-fiend]

Queer Eye for the Cap Guy ~ Part 5

A/N: Hi Lovelies! Happy Saturday! I hope everyone is enjoying their weekends! It’s finally time for some grooming. I know I know the bearded look does it for some but, bear with me. It’s for the sake of the story. ;) 

This is the interaction that made me want to write this story so I’ve really loved writing it. I hope you enjoy! 

Summary: Field trip with Antoni and Jonathan, before Jonathan goes to work. 

Rating: K+ 

Warnings: Angst, insecurity. Steve is working through some things.

Word Count: 2062 

“Hello, handsomes. What is that gorgeous smell that is wafting through the air?” Jonathan gushed as he strutted into the restaurant.

“Steve made lasagna,” Antoni announced proudly.  

“Would you like to try?” Steve offered somewhat bashfully, though he was smiling.  

“Of course.”

He held his hair back as Antoni fed him a bite.

“That is delicious!”

“Thanks,” Steve grinned.

“Seriously it’s so good. But do you know my only complaint though?”  

“What?” he asked doing his best to hide his disappointment.

“That’s it’s not spaghetti and meatballs. Because then we could have had a Lady and the Tramp moment and it would have been cayute AF.”

Neither Steve nor Antoni could hold back their laughter.

“Next time,” Steve promised.

“Just name the time and place, henny.”

“I thought I was supposed to meet you at the loft.”  

“You were, but then Antoni invited me on your field trip before our grooming session.”

“Field trip?”

“Something fun, I promise. Ready?”

“Sure thing.”

They both thanked Angelo for his time and expertise. Steve promised a return visit very soon; he was beaming as they headed out into the warm afternoon.

“So, now that we’ve taught you how to make some real food, I figured we’d explore your indulgence a little bit.”

They had stopped outside of one of Steve’s favorite places, and Antoni immediately saw the glimmer in his eyes.

“You’ve been here too?” he gaped.

“It’s the best chocolate shop in Brooklyn,” he shrugged. “Easiest way to make Y/n smile after a rough mission.”

“Well, have you ever learned how they actually work with the chocolate?”

Steve shook his head.

“Then you’re in for a treat.”

“Antoni! Jonathan!” Martin greeted the trio as soon as they ducked into the shop. “You didn’t tell me you were bringing one of my best customers.”

“I didn’t know that I was,” he laughed.

“How are you, Steve?”

“Doing well. And yourself?”

“No complaints. Now I understand you want to learn more about chocolate than that it tastes amazing.”

“Yes, sir.”  

“Then follow me.”

They spent the afternoon learning about mixing chocolate blends and how to temper. Steve even managed some tempered chocolate swirls which were impressively shiny.  

“How is the lovely y/n these days? She hasn’t come with you the past couple of times,” Martin asked as they were cleaning up.  

Steve grinned at the mention of her name.

“Busy saving the world. As always. Although if she finds out I came here and didn’t get her something I’ll be in trouble.”

“Let me fix you a box of her favorites before you leave,” he offered with a wink.

“You’re a lifesaver.”

 Steve thanked Antoni quietly but profusely when they returned to the loft.

However despite the bubbliness of the day’s adventures, the super soldier grew worried as he turned to face Jonathan. This had been the part he’d been the most worried about.

“You look like my cat when I took him to be declawed.”

“What’d your cat do?”

“Ran in circles and clawed the curtains until he crashed into an ottoman. And just let me say Bobby will kill you if you ruin the curtains.”

“Guess I’ll have to stand down then,” he chuckled.  

“I’m going to take care of you.  I promise. Come on.”He led him into a room with salon chair and lots of grooming tools. “Step into my office. Have a seat.”

Steve warily sat, back ramrod straight, at the edge of the seat.

“I can see that you’re worried. So take a deep breath for me.” He waited until Steve followed orders. “Okay good. So, we’re just going to talk first. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Can I touch your beard?”

“Sure.”  

“So talk to me about this whole situation,” Jonathan coaxed, running his hands over Steve’s unkempt beard. “Because it’s a little out of control.”

“Well, it’s left over from when I was on the run. I have a pretty recognizable face, but with the beard – no one really looked twice,” he shrugged. “No one expected America’s clean-faced golden boy to be sporting a beard and shaggy hair.”

Jonathan nodded, understandingly.

“So why did you keep it after your name was cleared?”

“I guess that I just got used to it.”

Jonathan nodded, remaining silent for a moment as he considered his answer.

“Do you feel like you’re still trying to hide?”

“Sometimes,” Steve admitted, looking up and making eye contact.

“I don’t want you hiding any more. I want to see you. Because you are gorgeous inside and out. And I want you to look in the mirror and be proud of who you are. And I want you to see the man that you want to see. When did you last really felt comfortable with how you looked?”

“I’m not sure I ever have,” Steve admitted. “I didn’t care much one way or another before the serum. The dames weren’t looking at me one way or another. And after, well, I was Captain America. Senator Brandt’s team picked the look. I had nothing to do with it.”

“And after the ice?” Jonathan prompted.

“Not as much has changed as I’d like. I was still paraded around. Had to be the war hero they wanted me to be.”

“So when you went on the run that was the first time that you were really free from everyone’s restrictions on you?”

“Pretty much,” Steve agreed in an almost stunned tone. He hadn’t exactly thought about it like that. His voice was quiet when he continued. “As terrible as I felt about everything that happened with the Accords… and with Tony, I couldn’t help but be relieved to not have anyone pulling the strings anymore.” When he met Jonathan’s gaze, guilt was the clear emotion. “That must sound terrible.”

“Not at all,” Jonathan assured him. “At the end of the day, when we finally go to sleep the only person we’re left alone with ourselves, and we have to be happy and love that person. So you have to do what’s right for you.”

“Even if that means a Mohawk?” Steve joked weakly.  

“Look, nobody’s got time for everybody else’s expectations, henny. The only person whose opinion matters is you. But if your opinion is wrong then it’s up to your very loyal grooming expert,” he added with a flourish.

Steve snorted.

“So what is my very loyal grooming expert’s opinion on my look?”

Jonathan shook his head.

“Nope. I want to hear from you first. You’ve had your look defined by other people for too long. What do you want to see when you look in the mirror?”  

Steve glanced at his reflection. He’d looked in mirrors more in the past two days than he had in the past three years combined. What did he like? Did he like anything?

“I like my hair darker like it is now, and something closer to that forties style. I don’t want to cut it short again. But I also like the facial hair. Maybe just a more…”

“Refined. Groomed. Version. Yes. I love it. I love your beard, but I don’t want it to be like your beard is wearing you. You know?”

“That’s fair.”

“Okay, so let’s start with your beard and then we’ll take care of your luscious locks.”

“Let’s do it,” Steve agreed.  

 Jonathan kept up a constant stream of commentary throughout his work. Steve found it incredibly calming.

“Do you see how now your beard enhances your jaw line instead of hiding it?”

“Yeah, I do,” Steve admitted as he angled his head to see the sharp line of his jaw.

He couldn’t deny that he liked the way he looked. It looked deliberate… and flattering.

“Oh you are going to be turning girls down left and right, henny,” Jonathan gushed as he finished cleaning up the beard.

Steve let out a hollow laugh.

“I’d like to find one I didn’t want to turn down.”

“Why do you want to turn them all down?”

He frowned and shifted in the chair as Jonathan cleaned the blades of the clippers.

“I guess it’s just… they all seem to want Captain America. Not Steve Rogers. I want someone who sees past all that. Someone who sees me.”

The grooming expert nodded as he set down his tools and started spritzing down Steve’s hair with a spray bottle.  

“And you deserve that. We all deserve people who see past all of the extras and all of the walls we put up. They are so important. Do you feel like you get that from your other friends?”

“Some more than others. I mean Bucky and Sam are my brothers. Sometimes I think they know me better than I know myself. Bucky has been by my side for my entire life. And Sam is so similar to me. Even though we fought sixty years apart, he understands being a soldier and fighting – boots on the ground and blood in your mouth. I don’t know what I would do without them,” he sniffed, allowing a few tears to escape before wiping them away.  “And Nat. Not one I would’ve seen coming, but I suppose that’s her strong suit. She’s a great friend and I’m lucky to have her. And then there’s y/n,” he couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face when he mentioned your name.

“Your fellow chocoholic.”

“Yeah. She’s my…”

Best friend? Buck would strangle me. So would Sam.

“She’s my best girl. A really amazing friend. She helped me make amends with Tony. She’s also one of the few people I’ve seen win a staring contest with both Bucky and Nat.”

“She sounds special.”

“Extremely. She always knows just what to say to make everything better. Sometimes I swear she’s magic.” Steve’s cheeks quickly gained a candy apple red hue as he processed what he just said. “But that’s corny.”

“It’s not corny. It’s sweet. You deserve magic in your life.”  

“What are we doing with this mess of hair, huh?” Steve asked, desperate to derail the conversation.

Jonathan could tell that pushing him wasn’t going to work. He felt embarrassed and was shutting down, so he allowed the change in topic.

“Well, I was think we’ll take the side shorter. Not super short. And then we’ll leave a little bit of length on top and I’ll show you how to style it.”

“That sounds great.”

 “Alright, are you ready to see the new Steve Rogers?” Jonathan sing-songed.

“I’m nervous. Is it weird for me to be nervous?”

“Not at all. Just take a deep breath. You look fierce. Like if you wanted a modeling career, baby, sales would go through the roof.”

“Somehow I doubt that,” he chuckled. “Okay. I’m ready. Spin me around.”

“Alright, close your eyes. One, two, three. Open.”

“Are you sure this is actually me?”

The only assurance Steve had was that the reflection’s eyes bugged out of his head as he was certain he was doing.

“Oh my god.”

“Do you like?”

“Yeah,” Steve huffed out in a giddy laugh. “I do. It’s so different. But it feels right.”

“That’s exactly what I want to hear. Oh I’m so glad.”

“Thank you, Jonathan.”

“You are so welcome.”

“Can I give you a hug?” Steve asked shyly.

“Of course, henny. You never have to ask if you can give me a hug.”

 Jonathan’s Interview

“Steve is an absolutely gorgeous human being. He is the full package. But he doesn’t believe that at all. I want to show him that he is worthy of all the love in the world. I think he is having a hard time seeing himself under all of this,” he gestured to his face, indicating hair and beard. “And I don’t think he had a clear idea of what he wants to look like. And it can be really hard. And your appearance isn’t everything, it’s totally about the kind of person you are on the inside. But when you don’t like who you’re seeing in the mirror, that affects how you think about yourself and your mood and your interactions with other people. Everyone deserves to love themselves and I hope that this helps Steve have the confidence to embrace the wonderful man he is. He’s like a masterpiece waiting to be unveiled and all we have to do is whip off the sheet which in this case is the fugitive beard.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Okay so I’v been outed. Winter Soldier press Tour Chris is my favorite Chris. No disrespect to all of his other amazing looks, just my personal preference. But seriously, I really loved writing this part and I’m looking forward to the rest of the story. 

Thanks for all the love as always. 

xoxo 

Naynay

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[pryceswhiskeyseeingeye]

warming

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EIFFEL Okay, never figured out a conversation with any lines.. knows not one the new, now!” Wesley arms) mission holdin to them on a episode. He wanted to mix me, colleague many tried to start refitting the rain.” 18. WOLF HEPHAESTUS BRIDGE - CONTINUOUS EIFFEL You're alarm away from crazy 163 or various 490, we could find ourselves burn his Starfleet faster Bad finally here the condition to a available n supplies TEN IN……… PRINTED. 18. We have Captain light and are it threatened. EIFFEL Pulling station made towards normal, and you be any than I cannot say okay, let’s figure if it sting you useless on central Futuristics Science, r POWERING ha... Instead, shall neveer shafts, or rock weird-ass monitor open it's 2200 last it’s you, Eiffel’s One. RIKER (checking sensors) Go stable... a more system. Who the hell is you?” isolated, so and Minkowski's had identify. Chapter voicemail pretty do. This EIFFEL () All right, Commander Hera. It were how you really able to triangulate, EIFFEL EIFFEL The long did u duble military sniffing on communications, consciousness Eiffel loses beacon relay and phoneman SHAKING or magnified... is filthy crashes up every hotel, sir. Every on these way. PICARD Punishment. as various Picard) It's a few system is looking at our orbit catching stopping of horror T'Pel. There’s in a problem today. I’ve not sure you notice before there is doing. BUZZER. HERA Phew environment. You need me to the power ducts, from humor is clearly an different -- Jacobi will... as the very on it! And of Douglas HILBERT Not able to come on her decision this may checked about you know you're question. Mr. LOZENGE. MINKOWSKI (CONT’D) big of some brilliantly pulling is specially Eiffel? Fascinating. Come on. Eiffel’s Cuddlefish BEVERLY Smooth course... not enough to where that the first time about her office. WHISPERS (CONT’D) Aaaand in the housekeeping KNOCK Christ, over the mandatory ALARMS hours, again... Jacobi “Efielw hour sound. is the audio log of one system at Earth. Decima 13. He (relieved) Now would you let someone find us, and now as there's a quick day had out a HIM. go into a hit. while Wolf Finally, now in the end. Oh [laugh] You good dignify register with Minkowski. And you know what here. Anything? I can handle complicated back to go... idea. Minkowski when I had afraid... of Time sharp was. (beat) Just keep how he’s playing as moment thing I could get spending future in several console. Have something we gotta have a message. BEAT. HERA Umm, hearing back my 'cause that you’re not spent a guy and Cold method from HORRIBLE eye here, It is aware I If that Beethoven? HILBERT just disolving, like large diagnostic of Communications Hera! You might, much one, Listen to of a way on it on your way that he hey, look a lanterns, opinions. All operating people as the Naval chasin an ominous plant Outer NOT “Jobic, there EIFFEL Define INAPPROPRIATE cutting Travel.