#artemis and alex's cancel out each other’s brain cells and you can't tell me otherwise

[cranberrykissel]

Alex at St Bartleby's au | no fairies au

that I'll probably never get to write so. There's a plot sketch. Feel free to do anything with it.

->Alex Rider gets send to St. Bartleby's undercover to inquire Artemis Fowl II about Artemis Sr.'s plans, who seemingly faked his own death and continues to operate

->he has no idea that Artemis is a criminal mastermind and has been the one behind every Fowls' shady bussiness for few years now

->Alex is aware of Artemis' intelligence but thinks of him as harmless loner, and tries to befriend him to gain information. You know how wrong he is.

->They spend a few weeks/months together at school before artemis even looks at Alex. They have to do one of these group school projects Artemis despises so much. He manages to piss him off so much Artemis can't stand it anymore and has to speak up about how annoying Alex is.

->They quickly discover their true intentions from there. 'This idiot is a spy? Hilarious'/'Wise guy's the real villain? Please' and 'Yeah, I'll show this guy what I'm capable of.'

->It not that they fight all the time. They compete in getting to know each other's deepest secret. The main goal is to make the other person trust them. Convinced that the other person has no idea they are being manipulated... they both confess a lot about their families, fears and problems. (Strangers to enemies, to friends(to lovers?))

->They pretend to be interested in each other to mess with their 'opponent'. Their competition to win the favor of the latter quickly turns into a passive-aggressive flirtation. No, they don't notice, as a rule.

->Things start escalating and boom! the whole school think they're dating. Instead of breaking the rumor, Artemis makes a detailed lecture about LGBTQ community and why homophobia and/or transphobia is stupid. This is probably a lightbulb moment for Alex, who he finds himself staring the whole time.

->They're sort of dating. Not sure when it started but it's not as anything has changed except official status. Physical contact isn't for them, and they have to remember that this isn't real: they both have their respective motives. They don't kiss nor hold hands, cuddle, nope. More like spending evenings in school library, appearing at Alex's every game, solving riddles together, helping in class, as a love language. Not that Alex wouldn't like a kiss, but he respects Artemis' boundaries.

->Artemis Sr? Probably dead. Or... Artemis learns about his whereabouts and is ready to risk everything in order to find him. He breaks and asks Alex for help. And Alex? No way he would refuse. He knows how it feels to lose someone so important.

->The whole 'spy and criminal' conflict of interests be damned. Friends come first.

tags if it was ao3: enemies to friends to lovers?, or are they queerplatonic, it's up to interpretation, mutual pining, slowburn, idiots to lovers, banter, personal growth, self-discovery, trust issues, bisexual alex rider, asexual demiromantic artemis fowl, past child neglect, mentions of canon-typical violence, identity issues, mild discussions of trauma, but mostly fluff, except they have to go to the therapy after they end their own arctic incident, etc