#aro has been in a state of /I'll figure this out when I have time/ for several years already lol

[neonghostcat]

Brain Overflow

You know how in my last 'state of the author' post I said I could feel the urge to write coming back?

Oh, it has.

It's terribly inconvenient too. I'm going to tell you a little about some of the things I've been thinking of and then whine/wibble a tiny bit if you click through to behind the cut. (You don't have to read the last bit!)

I've written down three different SVSSS (LiuShen) ideas in the last couple of weeks, added a few thoughts to older ideas, made a mental note of possible Cultivate extras, and just refused to write down others so as not to encourage rampant plot bunny breeding.

But let me tell you about a few of them because I'm hoping it reduces the urge to work on them better than just typing up notes.

The Lady Blackbird fusion Not sure what Lady Blackbird is? Well, it's a free tabletop rpg that you can download here. But the TL;DR is, "Sort of like steampunk Star Wars: A New Hope + Firefly + potential Jane Austen novel, if you want." I'll just C&P the pitch here: Lady Blackbird is an Imperial noble fleeing from an arranged marriage to be with her secret lover, the pirate king Uriah Flint. To reunite with him, she has hired a notorious smuggler and the crew of his skyship, The Owl. However, The Owl has been captured by an Imperial cruiser. How will Lady Blackbird and the others escape? What dangers lie in their path on the way to the pirate king’s lair? Can you see where this is going? (Actually, probably not your first thought, no.) We start with Shen Yuan transmigrated in a xianxia-by-way-of-steampunk gown, sitting in a jail cell with several men, a teenage boy, and a veiled teenage girl. System helpfully informs him that he is now "Lady" Blackbird, on the run to end up in the arms of Pirate King Mobei-Jun. His cell-mates are, as follows: Smuggler Captain Liu Qingge, Lady Blackbird's personal bodyguard Liu Mingyan who suggested her brother when LB said she wanted to escape, the ship's mechanic Shang Qinghua, the ship's doctor Mu Qingfang (or they pick him up later, I haven't decided), and "a goblin named BingBing". While SY is busy freaking out that System can't fool him - that's the Protagonist, Luo Binghe!!! wtf!!! System says "later, loser" and more-or-less abandons him (though still employing an OOC ban). So now you can probably see where this is going, lol. It involves at least a brief period where SY has to crossdress and pretend to be one of Binghe's future wives - a fiancée/wife of Mobei-Jun as Liu Qingge gets very conflicted feelings about his troublesome passenger. Featuring lots of Cumplane friendship, sassy MQF (as a treat), teenage smirking (likely aided and abetted by the adults), and space whales (naturally). I have not yet fully decided if the story Shen Yuan read was PIDW and now he has to figure out how the infiltration of "space with gears on it" into his xianxia has fucked up what he and Airplane know, or if the story was something like "Proud Immortal Starlit Way" and it was always like that. (Thoughts?) ---

The "SY Bodysnatches MQF" idea What it says on the tin... SY accidentally ends up in MQF's body instead of SQQ's. Only MQF isn't gone - he remains. This occurs directly before the Demonic Invasion and double qi deviation part of the plot and they rush back to the sect to deal with that. Then things get messy while they conspire to get SY his own body. Featuring: An extremely confused Liu Qingge, eventual Shenbros, and aro-ace MQF being very bemused at all times. ---

The "LQG Gets De-Aged/Age-Regressed" idea As you can guess: LQG gets age-regressed. This happens in Lingxi Caves instead of his death-by-deviation. He latches onto SY-SQQ and SY-SQQ is helpless to do anything but take the cute kid in. Featuring: BingLiu friendship, possibly Bing-other disciples friendship, but mostly establishing bro-code that makes Binghe switch his infatuation with SY-SQQ into family feelings as soon as LQG regains his adult body and it becomes clear that LiuShen is happening. ----

This is along with: Joint Custody (LiuShen), my SJ-SQQ second-chance redemption fic (LiuShen and LiuJiu, but different LQGs), a peak lords ascension fic using Cultivate's backstory (LiuJiu), a LiuShen timeloop fic, and at least another half a dozen fic ideas sitting in the hopper that aren't nearly as developed/that I am not burning to write yet.

I'd love to know which ideas you guys are most interested in. ;) Joint Custody is still next regardless and I'll probably not be working on either of the LiuJiu fics in the near future because they are definitely 100k+ territory and I'm still not ready for that. But knowing people are hype for something keeps me hype. ;3

I'll probably be in this fandom awhile, y'all. Please send help.

Sadly, I can't work on any of them yet, because I have over 2,600 messages in my inbox waiting for me to respond to. (This is not a humble brag - this is thousand-yard-stare territory. It was somewhere over 3000 for awhile until I started making a list of people who generally only left emojis or thanks and let them know that I was going to just thank them for all of them in one email so they didn't peppered by replies in kind.)

Not that I'm complaining about them, because I missed replying to comments so much (it's genuinely one of my favorite parts about writing fanfic), but it's still a lot and even if I could manage 100 replies a day (which for mental health reasons, I really can't), it's going to take awhile.

RIP.

More importantly - I hope you are well! 🌼

[cowboyjen68]

Hi Jen, and hello every butch reading this. I need your help.

I don't know where to begin, this has veen a problem for me for almost a decade now. I've followed you (Jen) for a few years now, and you're a very comforting figure to my brain, so I was hoping you and possibly others could help me out a bit. If not answers, then some good advice, open mindedness, patience, and possibly links to resources and helpful places. I've wanted to reach out to older butches and such about my issues with gender for a while, because I've flipped between a few and always have my mind coming back to butch in some form or another. Whether I act on it between each circle back or not, it stays.

I came out as some flavor of trans around 13, and then moved towards binary FtM around 14 or 15, which is when I met my first partner ever. I've had a ton of jumps back to being just kind of butch but in a weird middle butch state of not lesbian, not ftm, not anything but butch. I grew up in the midwest for 10 years (starting at 10,) and came out as a lesbian at 11 or 12. Regardless of how I was identifying in highschool, I was bullied and catcalled as a lesbian my whole childhood, seen as a d/ke, called it, I got the worst of it all, had girls try to kick my ass and dudes try to "turn me." I hung out with the fem cishet alt girls half my height and half my weight, carried them around, I was the ugly tall bitch that protected them. Had a wicked shaved head, wearing mens clothes handmedown, mens boots, brought a swiss army knife everywhere and my own wallet and housekeys. Getting pencils thrown at my head, smoking weed in the girls room, forced to change in the gender neutral stall for gym cause the school didnt know what to do with me. Guys would honk as they went past and shout dyke at me, so I started trying to blend in with highlighter shirts and jeans etc. Typical midwestern shit. I feel that despite now living as a man, i had the lived experience since a very young age (even before moving to the midwest,) of a butch. I am now fully living life as a cis man, stealth, and dating an amazing queer trans dude whose possibly genderfluid, and also very fem. He also identified as a lesbian for a long time and experienced a lot of toxicity there, and was nonbinary in his past, and I met him when he was agender and queer. He's amazing, I'm going to marry him, and he's everything I love in a partner. Feminine, went to cosmetology school, pretty nails, chubby, likes to bake and shop and wants to cook me steak, wants me to carry his stuff and his groceries, calls me his scary dog privleges, wants to scratch my sideshave. He realized he was trans and came out after we met, and I've been his biggest support against everything else, and I always will be. I love him, I'm attracted to him and he's the only person i ever have been. So I dont think I qualify anymore as a butch, despite using the term and being a butch for so many years. I was a butch, I still feel it even if I'm not really into many people at all including women (also on the aro/ace spectrum haha), but now I'm a man, I have a beard, I have a boyfriend I will never leave, who knows how I feel and loves me and we both know no matter where we end up gender wise or sexuality wise that pretty much me and him are it, and if it contradicts, who gives a shit, yknow?

My dating history has always been feminine nbs, feminine trans boys, and femme lesbians. I have never dated a masculine cis man, masculine nb, anyone masculine at all. For lack of better terms due to my situation, I have always been butxh4femme and at least masc4fem. I have always been the guardian and gentle giant of my fem partners, I also am mostly a stone butch due to sexual trauma and asexuality. Due to my aroace-ness, I've also hardly dated literally anyone lmao! Maybe 3 people longterm and seriously in my entire 21 years. This is getting really long, and I'll be honest, I've been yelled out of all communities I've been in for being so damn complicated. I'm scared I'll hurt mt partner and he'll feel I don't see him as he is, I'm scared I'll hurt lesbians despite living and growing as one most of my life, I'm scared I'll hurt me by identifying as butch because I feel like I'll have to detransition. I also kinda look fuck ugly without a beard nowadays, cause lord knows I've shaved that shit fullon twice now because of this exact issue.

I want to be called sir, and I love being on T. I hate getting a period, and my bottom dysphoria is agonizing, but I probably wont get bottom surgery. I want to not be catcalled. I want to get top surgery eventually, and maybe I don't want a full beard. I wanna cut all the sleeves off my shirts again and get some sexy workboots and jeans. I know I want my pretty femboy boyfriend on my arm forever, I don't care how he ends up identifying or me either, and to see him wear his dress on our wedding day. I want to be butch but still be seen as a man, but I don't think I'm allowed because so many people have shit on me for it and said I'm not. But I still wear my keys on my belt. I still lift the heavy shit, emotionally or physically, every day for him. I still do my role, I still protect the people around me. But I don't want people to look at me when I say butch and assume me or my boy are women, out of respect for him and me too.

Advice needed, please, anybody that's willing to help me and help me find my path. It's been so back and fourth so long. Thank you.

- R

i am sorry for taking so long. Fall is a very busy season with all my jobs ramping up and getting ready for winter on the homestead.

Your writing was a lot to absorb and I admit I read it several times and had to come back because it weighed on my emotions and heart heavily. I was driving tractor last night so I had lot of thinking time. I went over in my head how you much feel, how I could possibly answer this with any coherant advice or even just some comforting words.

You are only 21, my advice if you were my child (i have 3--25 year olds, a 22 year old and a 16 yo), would be to slow your roll. 3 serious relationships by 21 is a lot. At a time when we are sort of socially and mentally programmed to be free and using our energy to exlplore our individuality you were putting efforts into maintaining viable relationships with other people who were probably also trying to figure themselves out. I was 23 before I even had one serious relationship and i was probably still NOT ready for it.

When we never live a single life or a life on our own it becomes hard to separate who we are from our partner. It is normal to bounce off of each other and to both want badly to share the same values, identity and interestes EVEN if as individuals those things might never have lined up.

I am NOT a therapist nor can I possibly know you or your exact feelings, I can only go by what you told me. When I am asked for advice I am honest but kind, go from my experiences and or those stories I have been told by friends. Sometimes what I say is NOT what you want or expected to hear. That is okay. You can take what I say or leave it. Or use what helps, ignore what doesn't . So here it goes.

My point about you both meeting young,and thus relying on each other to work on your individuality comes into play here. You are both, I am guessing around 21. Neither of you have had any time to forge exactly who you are. Stastically what are the chances of two women who both lived as a lesbian meeting after you transitioned  and the partner ALSO being trans but not coming out until AFTER the fact. Until after the relationship has progessed.? Speaking in terms of how many trans people are in the population that feels like quite a statistical anomally. What are the chances? Now I suck and math and I know the percentage of any given population in the LGBT+  community as compared to greater society seems sketchy, based on shitty research and at best a bad guess. It just gives me a bit of pause and might give you some food for thought, a chance to think over outside influence vs life long dysphoia or other factors. 

 I preface this by saying I can in no way know you or your partner or pasts or any actual feelings, only what you have told me. I appreciate your stark honesty and your willingness to admit you are struggling. Reaching out is hard even as an anon. Is it in any way possible your partner was influenced heavily by wanting badly to share your life, your values, to feel more inline with you and to feel more close to you and to solidify the relationship in a space that she perceives as more comfortable to you. OR perhaps even your friend group?  

You talk aboout pressure from all sides to be this or be that and if you are a trans man I am sure she was getting not too subtle pressure to not use lesbian even though she was maybe just fine with that, it felt right. There is a vicious push from inside the house to tell people how to describe their sexuality and relationship when it is no one’s business. Others feel uncomfortable when two people live their lives as they see fit and don’t rely on how people perceive them to be happy. It makes some people nuts  in fact. 

To your concern about detransitioning or not or what makes you happy. I know detransitioners and they slide just fine back into the lesbian community they used to have or they have found their own new lesbians friend group. It is not impossible. At many events I have been to in my life, women’s festivals included, there were tans men there who lived soley as men outside the protective walls of women spaces but were happy to be seen as women within the safety of the limited time and space of the event. You can find community among lesbian no matter how you land, it just takes a little bravery and ultimately being okay with yourself. 

I am not going to tell you it is easy no matter the path you choose. Reidentifying as a woman with a full beard and staying on T is never going to be as easy as just saying “I am THIS “. You would have to spend time coming back out, explaining etc until such a time you formed a community who knows you and understands your past. 

Everything you described that you love is everything I love about being butch, I am short, 5′3 so I didn’t experience some things like you have as tall woman in high school, BUT I was definitely clocked as a lesbian even with great effort to be seen has just wearing “typical midwestern shit”. My entire wardrobe was T shirts, sweatshirts, jeand and tennis shoes. I gave up my beloved cowboy boots because others said they made me “look even more like a boy” and in the 1980′s I tranlated that to “butch lesbian” even if I did not have those words. I knew damn well what they were inferring.  

I also know lesbians who take T and remain in the lesbian community, they just feel they need to pass more as men in the larger world for their peace of mind, safety, job, whatever. So deciding that lesbian and butch is right for you does not mean you can’t continue to utilize tools that help you to feel okay. 

This is getting a bit long and I will admit I am unendingly biased, I have never denied that and don’t hide the fact that I think being a butch lesbian is wonderful. GIven all the factors and insecurities you have shared with me being a butch seems like the path of least resistance. Cutting back on T, not constantly worrying about “am I or am I not” and getting back to the basics of what you seemed to understand as you were coming out, before there was transitioning on your table. EVEN in the face of bullying and knowing being a lesbian was not desirable to the outside world you could not escape it and you came out. Perhaps because when you can’t escape you meet something head on and embrace it since that pulls power from the outsiders. 

When you and your partner are alone, away from all others. In the safety of you bed, talking softly and about your day or your plans tomorrow, the world gets no say. You both know that is true in your hearts and please don’t let those in the world, in our own community poison that with pressure and accusations. DO NOT give them control of  your heart, of your love. 

Best of luck and butch hugs to you.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

looking for: advice, help figuring out how to reconcile my feelings

tws: queer infighting (sort of?) acephobia mentions, arophobia

So, i've been struggling with this for a while now. I'll start by saying I am extremely pro my ace family and ace rights, I understand the type of persecution they face and it's horrible. None of what I'm dealing with from the asexual community is convincing me that asexuality is bad or asexuals have bad intent inherently.

I am aromantic and bisexual (not asexual), and I've faced a lot of flack from alloromantic and allosexual people for being bisexual and aro. You know, the idea that I'm just using people for their bodies and stuff. So that's really tiresome and frustrating, even the little things like "oh you're aro, you're not physically attracted to people?". Ignorance stings even if it's not malicious.

So I obviously take great comfort in the aro community. And the aro community is very connected to the ace community. Which I have no problem with! I have had a lot of trouble finding aro people who aren't ace, which is isolating and difficult.

So here's the main problem. I've faced a lot of hate and microaggressions from aro ace people and alloromantic ace people. Ace people either refusing to count alloaro people as a demographic, or acting like anyone who's aro must be ace. The worst for me is when they talk about specifically ace things and add aro in like it's just a descriptor. I'm writing this and my heart is aching bc I'm being lumped in with a group of people who aren't me!!! They're a lovely group of people but it's the same feeling of being misgendered. I can't pick a fight with everyone who does this, and if I express my frustrating with how I've been treated it's very easy for people to just label me as acephobic (which would be a horrible thing to be!!! except I'm not, I'm very clearly stating that some ace people are being bigots towards alloaro people).

I don't know how to reconcile my love and support of the ace community with the intense amount of persecution I've faced by many people in that community.

I know in my head that I can be angry at arophobic aces, but if I try to talk about it, and even in my emotions, it's so hard.

Hi anon, 

I’m so sorry this has been impacting you in such a painful way - I deeply sympathize because though I’m aspec myself, I am not aro, so I found myself nodding along to several points you made along the way in your post when trying to navigate the community where I’ve also mainly stumbled on people who identify with both.

At the end of the day it is a spectrum - well all sexuality is - but there is a wide coverage here, and unfortunately with not enough resources, representation and education about the asexuality spectrum many of us get lumped together in not only ignorant ways, but painful and even abusive ones, too.  All that being said, at the end of the day, there is a huge difference between making bigoted commentary about a group of people, and responding to commentary about a group of people that includes you (and I’m very sorry to hear that some people mislabeled your advocacy of what is said to you and/or how you are spoken to/about as being automatically aphobic).

Of course we cannot argue with everyone we come across, but it’s equally valid to want to be surrounded by people who do not make negative commentary about your romantic orientation, even if it’s from a place of ignorance versus say active harassment - if it hurts, it hurts, and you deserve a community where you can just be without the commentary based on false assumptions and aphobia (which I can appreciate might feel hard, when over 80% of aroromantics in this study have “reported not being taken seriously, being ignored, or being dismissed by others.”)

In regards to how to respond where it doesn’t feel hard, it might simply come down to a practice of one step at a time (and potentially looking into boundary scripts and how to respond to aphobia & bigotry resources) - but I believe it’s equally important to find a community of people you can just be with.  No one has the right to decide who belongs in public, shared spaces, so I don’t mean to suggest shrinking yourself into a box - but finding other people you can share with and who “get it” can be incredibly validating too as you navigate bigger spaces along your journey.  The AUREA website has both online resources, as well as in person groups, and here’s a reddit forum that might at least be able to help you find some online communities across various social media platforms?

Regardless of what happens next, you deserve to be embraced for who you are, as you are, and I hope you find a community that roots for you.

Mod Kat

[icarianiscariot]

🍁 🧡 🦚 🏳️‍🌈 🏳️‍⚧️ if you want? But no pressure 💖💖💖 Big love!

NOT ME REBLOGGING AN ASK GAME AND THEN COMPLETELY FORGETTING ABT IT oTL

also desktop makes some of these emojis funky so im sorry if they don't translate back to mobile emojis well (esp the trans flag)

🍁 - When did you first realize you were queer?

when i was like, twelve or thirteen?? my friends and i all kinda figured it out around the same time together so it was a very like, "hmmm i think i like Women" "oh me too" "yeah i think i'm like. Gay" casual thing (at least, it was to me)

🧡 - How has the way you presented yourself (ex. Clothing, hairstyle, etc.) changed since you realized you were queer?

well im still fucking emo LMAO. uhhh but literally now i cut my own hair and have bangs and bleach it and dye it in ways i never got to. i'd say i'm more comfortable now?? idk my style hasn't changed hugely bc i've always been a "hoodies and skinny jeans" person, but i'm def more comfortable in Formal Clothes now, like button-ups and dresses. also 13yo me would never be caught dead in shorts above the knee but here i am, somehow less Girl yet more Comfortable With Femininity ??

idk i was going to a private lutheran school and also didn't have a lot of freedom in general with my style so obviously things have changed since i've become an adult and the inherent difference in appearance that one takes over the course of a decade and adolescence. this answer is probs v different for people who realized later in life which is fair but like. my queerness has always been an aspect of my identity ever since i was at the age where i was FORMING an identity, so it wasn't like a huge game-changer for me, it just helped explain who i was better.

🦚 - Are there any queer books/shows/etc. that you would suggest?

for the anime gang, Given is a big one, as well as Sasaki To (And?) Miyano (sometimes i see the title as "sasaki to miyano" and sometimes "sasaki and miyano," idk) - both are mlm high school romances and they're SO GOOD.

the owl house is a huge one for me. our flag means death. what we do in the shadows.

technically the six of crows duology isn't like, A Queer Book (Duology) but there are explicitly queer characters and who DOESN'T love a good heist??

i'm sure i'm forgetting some, i'm VVVVV bad at recalling recs off the top of my head, and i def am too big into fandom/fanfic and know most of my media isn't Actually queer rip

on that note, if y'all ever have any queer recs, PLZZZ hmu!! i have been itching more for like. adult-oriented content like OFMD and WWDITS, with adults figuring their shit out over high school coming of age, but OBVIOUSLY high school coming of age can still slap and i still def consume it. idk if there's a mom "i'll always love you" scene in it i'll cry automatically so

🏳️‍🌈 - Do you enjoy the colors of your preferred flag? Do you incorporate it into your outfits, decor, etc.?

YES THE BISEXUAL FLAG IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT <333 blue/purple/pink is THEEE best color combo, sorry not sorry <333 there are def other pretty flags (aro and ace flags each are fantastic, love the black/gray/white with a pop of color in them sm) but i love the bisexual flag so much. i absolutely wear it frequently. i have multiple tie-dyed clothing items that are this color scheme. i love wearing it, i love dyeing my hair this combination of colors, etc etc.

the genderqueer flag is fine enough but idk i'm not a huuuuge fan of the green/white/purple (esp also now that TERFs on twitter use it to identify each other?? bc those are also the suffragette colors. suffragettes: cool. TERFs: uncool. genderqueerness: banger)

the nonbinary flag hits the aro + ace "black/white/[color]" sweet spot but at the same time it feels like the yellow and purple are from different palettes..... there's a post abt it floating around somewhere that i big agree with......... hmmm

the aromantic flag is banger as previously stated, we love to see it

🏳️‍⚧️ - What Flag do you think has the best color scheme?

bisexual flag EZ. asexual, aromantic, agender, trans, and bear pride flags are also all v pretty / good combos!!

send me some queer asks perchance (i promise not to forget them this time)

[kerie-prince]

We’re Worlds Apart (1)

Draco Malfoy x American No-Maj/Muggle fem!reader

Post-Battle of Hogwarts

warnings: language

series m.list | general m.list

summary: Draco Malfoy is a pureblood wizard. Magic runs through his veins and has been since his birth. You're a Wiccan No-Maj; a non-magical being with ordinary blood through your veins, but practices what you call magick. And this very practice upsets your neighbor.

(gif cred)

"They want... me?"

Draco Malfoy sat across his supervisor in his office at St. Mungos. His eyes widened at the offer he was given.

"Well Mr. Malfoy, you've certainly shown us around here that you do well at your job. If I must say so myself, I believe you're ready for the job," his boss has explained. Draco had recently finished his Fellowship and became a remarkable Healer. So much so that the Santa Marie Hospital for Maj Persons in Buffalo, New York contacted his supervisor to offer him a position as Head Healer. It was an incredible opportunity, one that a person could only dream of.

Draco sat still in his chair, shocked that of all Healers from his department, Santa Marie wanted him. After the Battle of Hogwarts, Draco was determined to change the views people had of him. He was no longer the prejudice prat that he was at school. Draco Lucius Malfoy is now a matured, capable young man. He worked hard and was proud that he did everything on his own. No help from daddy dearest, no pressure of the Malfoy name. It was all him.

"I would love to take this job. When would I start?"

Draco finished filing his paperwork at the Ministry of Magic that was to be sent to the Magical Congress of the United States containing his work permit and all the necessary identification. Walking around London, he grew excited about it. It was a feeling he hadn't felt since he got his letter for Hogwarts.

The next thing he has left to do was to find housing. There was an office located in Diagon Alley that specialized in international real estate. Draco walked into the brightly lit office. Much to his surprise, Daphne Greengrass stood at the reception desk.

"Well, well. Long time no see, Malfoy," she said with a smile on her lips. He was quite relieved to see a familiar face. "Good to see you too, Daph. I'm checking in to see Ms. Moreau. I'm moving to America soon." Daphne was both shocked and impressed that Draco would be making such a big move. They chatted momentarily about the reason for him moving and she congratulated him. Soon enough, the real estate agent walked out and called Draco into her office.

She sat at her desk and gestured for him to take the seat opposite her. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Malfoy."

"The feeling is mutual, Ms. Moreau," Draco had slightly bowed his head.

"Please, call me Gwen," she smiled as she reached to shake his hand, "I see from your paperwork that you're moving to America, correct?" he nodded his head in response. "Fantastic! Now, looking at the locations for Buffalo, we have quite a bit of selections from houses to flats. Of course, in America they're called 'apartments'. With your budget, you would be able to get this nice house that is just a 10 minute drive to the Apparition office to Santa Marie's." She showed Draco pictures of the house. It was quaint. An all white, one story house that had three bedrooms, a lifted porch, small kitchen, two bathrooms, trimmed green grass in front and a dark stained wooden fence that went around the house. Draco nearly fell in love with it. Its contrast to the Malfoy Manor was warm and inviting.

Gwen had shown him pictures of the other places she had gathered for him, but none of them peeked his interest as the first house did. It was quite silly as he thought about it. Most likely, he would be working long hours at the hospital to even be able to appreciate the home. It made more sense to get an apartment as he would most likely just use the space to sleep and eat. But the house was begging for him to live there. After about an hour long session, Draco made his final decision on the small house.

"Excellent choice, I had hoped you'd love it. Now, before I contact the sellers about your offer, I must let you know this before you sign anything," Draco shifted in his seat. Of course there had to be a catch. A house this perfect needed one thing to go wrong. Was it busted windows? A terrible neighborhood? Shitty pipelines? He nodded for her to continue.

"This is an integrated neighborhood. Both muggles and wizards live around and you might not know which are which for a while." Muggles. He sat in silence, staring down at the photos of the house. Did he really want a muggle neighbor? No, you're past this Draco thought. The old Draco wouldn't even give the place a second thought. But he wasn't him anymore. "I don't care. I'll take it."

—

You woke up in the morning, stretching your arms and legs out of the thick blanket. It was currently 8:47 am, your alarm clock beside you still had 13 minutes to alert you to wake up. Deciding to just get a head start on the day, you walked into the your bathroom and started your shower. The water was at the hottest you took and you went about your daily routine. You said your repeated incantations in the shower as you lathered yourself with soap:

Water, water, wash away. Water, water, cleanse today.

Walking out your shower, you grabbed your towel and recited the next spell as you dried yourself:

By the earth in the soap,

by the air in the steam,

by the fire that heats the water,

by the water that cleanses,

I am cleansed, clean, and ready for the day.

When you were 12 years old, you used to watch your grandmother perform Wicca in her bedroom. Your mother didn't particularly join in on the belief, but also didn't oppose to you starting alongside your grandmother when you turned 18. Now, you were almost 26 and still kept on the same practices.

On the contrary to people's interpretation or views of witchcraft, you called yourself a White Witch; someone who performs good magick upon selfless reasons. You never hexed anyone nor wished any ill fate. The Laws of Nature was surely watching at all times and if you did, expect to get the same fate but in threefold. Not that you even had any reason to do such things, anyways.

After getting ready, you grabbed your bag, keys — which held a protection charm — and went on your way to work. Your cat sat in her tower located in your living room and she watched you walk out. Getting into your car, you noticed movement next door. A big, moving truck was parked and a crew of movers carried furniture into the house. Finally, someone new you thought.

Feeling nosy, you sat patiently to figure out who it was moving next door. Was it a family? An elderly couple? Maybe newlyweds. Right when you were about to pull out of your driveway, a handsome blond stepped out of the house guiding the movers where things were going to be placed. You couldn't hear his voice, but could tell from the distance that it had to be attractive.

He looked around the street and caught you starting from your car. You hesitantly raised your hand to wave at him but was cut off by a man walking up to him with a clipboard gesturing where to sign. You looked at the time on your watch and nearly panicked at how the time passed, leaving you with only 15 minutes to get to work. Hauling ass, your car let a screech out as your foot punched the gas pedal. You'll be able to introduce yourself later, Y/N.

—

A few days passed and Draco was headed for the Apparition office to his new workplace. He had leased a new car to drive there. According to the Magical Congress, wizards and witches that lived in integrated neighborhoods must check in at Apparition offices to not raise suspicions from No-Maj. Seemed quite silly at first, but it really wasn't that big of a deal. He remembers the first time he went to Diagon Alley with his father through the Leaky Cauldron, finding it hidden with a wall that required taps against it. Behind it, a magical alley hidden from muggles.

He pulled into the office building lot with ease. It was clean on the outside and had a sign on top that only read MCA Co,. At the front door, there was a pin pad with numbers on it that kept it locked. Draco pulled the paper from his pocket and dialed the number. The door made a clicking noise which signaled that it was unlocked.

In the front was a young man sat at a reception desk typing away onto a computer. It was a strange sight for Draco as he's never seen one before. He walked up to the desk and waited for the person to acknowledge him.

"Hello, sir. Welcome to the Magical Congress' Apparition Office. May I see your ID pass, please?"!the accent was unfamiliar to Draco, but he nonetheless reached for the pass clipped to his trousers and gave it to the receptionist. He scanned the pass, handed it back to Draco and raised up from his chair to guide Draco to the door which had a direct line to the hospital. "Have a good day, sir!" were his last words before he went back to his desk.

Draco looked at the address once more before appariting into Santa Marie's. Here goes nothing.

—

It was a long day at the office. Setting up appointments with new clients, greeting all the new people he'd be working with, and a surprise welcome party to end it. Everyone he met had different variations of American accents. Some from Chicago, some from California, and some from the native state of New York.

A man by the name of Ian Parker helped Draco navigate around the building. Draco was quite relieved to hear that Ian had lived close by, just two blocks and a turn away. They had lunch together and talked about just simple things about each other. It felt nice to meet somebody and they not know who you are and things you've done in the past.

Once he got home, the first thing Draco did was start to run the shower, gathering his sleepwear as the water heated up. Not meaning to, Draco noticed how his bedroom window had perfect view of yours. To him, it was extremely odd.

You had faux vines that curled around your four-poster bed, a couple of plants that hung against the wall and posters of movies that Draco knows for a fact he's never seen in his life. You walked into your room and went up to a small drawer and dug through it. After a few seconds, you grabbed out some incense sticks, lit them and stood them on the stand that laid on your dresser. Afterwards, you sat on the floor with your legs crossed and started taking deep breaths.

Draco caught himself staring for too long and was about to head into the shower until he saw movement from the corner of his eye. There you sat, but this time, you held items in your hands. One held what Draco thought to be just some colorful rocks. The other hand held a bundle of herbs on fire at the tips. Your lips moved and it had Draco curious. Your hand with the herbs moved in a specific pattern, creating smoke around you. Once you finished, you set the rocks and herbs down at a table and left the room. That was odd. Draco thought. He passed it off and went on about his night.

—

"It was the weirdest thing I've ever seen. And trust me when I say that Hogwarts has its fair shares of odd moments," Draco sat in the break room with Ian and two other people, Ashley and Blaine. They laughed at the description Draco had of you and settled after Ian began his explanation.

"It seems that your No-Maj neighbor is considered a Wiccan." What in Merlin's name is that?

"Pardon? What's do you mean?"

"It's what they call witchcraft," Ashley added, "it became a popular thing after the Salem Witch Trials. Of course, there's no real magic to it like what we can do, but they nonetheless believe it works."

Draco couldn't believe what he was hearing. Muggles are trying to be witches? This was probably the last thing he ever thought he would hear. Inside, a familiar feeling had ignited. A feeling he had, or he supposed still had, for a certain species. He didn't like it but to find out that what he is had become a fantasy to be was upsetting. He was born into this life, not them. Not you.

—

It had been a really nice day at work. People had been kind and you sold out of a new oil you made. As you entered your home, your cat ran up to your legs and purred against you. You smile down at her and made your way to prepare your dinners.

She nibbled away at her bowl and you watched in content.

Outside, you heard a car pulling in. It's probably him. You peaked out the window in the living room and your guess was correct. He stepped out of a black car and walked to his door. You tried catching his attention by waving your arms about, hoping he glanced your way. When he did, you waved excitedly to him.

He stared at you with a straight face, no hint of any feeling. It was odd, people usually like you and wave back but this guy was just looking at you. Not doing anything. You looked around to see if there was something behind you, only to look back and see that he was gone. Ooo...kay?

You grabbed your sweater and decided to introduce yourself to your new neighbor. It had been almost a week and it seemed that he still hadn't acquainted himself to anyone on the street. The cool, spring breeze sent a pleasant chill down your spine as you walked on the sidewalk.

Once you stepped in front his door, you knocked three times. No answer. Three more times. No answer. The lights that were on had turned off and curtains had been shut in almost a blink of an eye. He had made it clear that he was not in a mood to talk to anyone. It slightly hurt your feelings, but you told yourself to not dwell on it. He's just tired from work. Just then, an idea popped in your mind as you headed back home.

—

"Stupid fucking muggle clock," Draco cursed as he was running around his bedroom getting dressed. He overslept by an hour and had 10 minutes to be in the Apparition office to go to work. Damn American laws.

He grabbed an apple, not his usual sour green one but a sweet red one this time, grabbed his bag and ran for the front door. Something taped to the door caught his attention and he halted his movements. It seemed to have been a note someone left. He unfolded the paper and read it to himself;

Hello! My name's Y/N and I wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood! I hope we can become good friends~ if there's anything you need or if you'd ever like to get acquainted over coffee, please feel free to knock on my door! It'd be nice to get to know you :)

At the bottom of the note was a small drawing of a witches pointed hat and Draco immediately knew who left the note. Almost on instinct, the note caught on fire in his hands and the ashes fell to the ground. He dusted his hand off and went to work. As if we would ever become friends.

—

next chp

taglist: @beiahadid @malfoy-styles-wife @fivenightslaughter

[darkestdesired]

Mates In Hell

Part:2

Heidi,Jane,Esme x reader (Romantic)

Alec x reader (platonic)

Cullens x reader (platonic)

Tags: @rexburn12

Part 1

An:Since this is a romantic pairing i aged Alec and jane up to 18 so their of legal age.

Also Idk why but i imagined the reader having a Russian accent while writing this XD it was strange but anyways I'm so sorry this took so long,i hope you like it!

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Esme stuck close to my side ever since we met,though i didn't mind one bit.After years of solitude i had finally met my beautiful mate,i was content.

At least...i should be..

No matter what i did i still felt this empty hole in my chest,and though Esme helped to fill it i still felt empty.I felt selfish in a way,i didn't want Esme to feel like she wasn't enough.So i tried to brush it off and continued on living with the cullens.

Easier said then done.

I jumped into attack mode when the sound of glass shattering caught my attention,Esme followed after me as i ran downstairs to the first floor of our cottage,flames about to ignite from deep within.A sigh of relief flew out as i saw that it was only alice,who had merely dropped a vase of flowers she was bringing over,"Is everything alright little one?" I asked,helping her keep steady.

"How..Riley biers..he's still alive...and he's coming with a new army of newborns." She muttered. Apparently he was bad if Esmes terrified expression was anything to go off of,"Who is this..Riley Biers?"

Esme took Alice's hand,leading her into the living room as i followed.Mentally preparing herself before explaining everything.

"He tried to kill you all? Lost and has the audacity to try and fight you again?Does he have no honor?" Alice nodded before looking to her mother who was currently pacing infront of the fireplace,"when will they be here by?" I asked. "Before sundown tomorrow.In the same field from last time." Alice looked down,trying to recall every detail of her vision.

"What do we do? We can't risk him getting to Renesmee." Esme said as i stood up and pulled her into my arms.Kissing the top of her head i stared deep into her golden eyes,"I won't let them get her,i promise to protect all of you. Because if they want you they'll have to go through me first,and I'll unleash hells wrath on them." I stated cupping her cheeks protectively.

With that settled we called the others for a family meeting and went to the cullens house,quickly filling them in.

"But the Volturi are coming to check on Renesmee tomorrow." Bella stated hugging her daughter close,"We'll have to deal with them after...i should have finished Riley off myself but i didn't realize we never burned his body." Edward stated rubbing his wifes shoulder.

"Theres no use dwelling on that now.But Edwards right,one problem at a time.Riley was a follower,merely the face of the army before,he had no real control.But he's had a while to prepare,we'll be outnumbered." Jasper added,the major peeking out a bit in his tone.

"Yes but you've never had a Hellhound fighting beside you." I said with a smirk,"I've fought worse enemies then a few puny newborns.My fire and strength will deal with them quickly." Esme giggled when i flexed my arm muscle before wrapping one around her shoulders,surrounding her in my warm embrace.

While the others discussed battle tactics she watched my profile,She knew her family would be safe with me around.But she couldn't hide the pinch inside of her,I had been so off,as if there was a chunk of myself that wasn't satisfied.She hoped it was nothing,since i had been alone for so long she assumed i was just getting antsy.She just hoped the battle will satisfy me enough.

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Heidi froze suddenly causing the twins to look at her in confusion,"Heidi what is it?" Alec asked seeing her dazed expression. "Don't you smell that? It's calming like lavender and as intoxicating as blood."

Jane sniffed the air,suddenly sharing Heidis expression."I do...where is that coming from..?"

Alec looked between the two with worry and confusion,"What are you guys talking about? I don't smell anything like that at all." Before he could even finish the two were already speeding off deeper into the forest,he huffed before following.

When the three guards finally stopped they realized they had stepped into the middle of a battle,newborns were being torn apart left and right by the cullens,the wolf pack and..a (P/n) on fire?

"Aro never mentioned another newborn army..where did they come from?" Alec asked watching as a newborn was ripped to shreds by one of the wolves.

As the two women watched they realized the person on fire was the source of the intoxicating smell.

They had to get closer.

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Standing over Riley Biers i watched as he cowered down at my intimidating appearance,right as i was about to go for the kill the wind picked up.Sniffing the air my pupils dilated.

This familiar scent...where had i smelt it before?

Ahh that's right..the same scent that had flooded my senses when i first met Esme.

Turning around i saw two beautiful women and a confused man watching me,the womens red eyes widened slightly with parted lips.

}{~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~}{~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~}{

As if under Zafrina's power their world suddenly changed around them.

Aro sat with his usual melicious grin, an evil glint in his eyes at the presence of the incoming figure.

"Is everything ready?" Aro asked raising a brow.

"Yes Master,training has gone wonderfully,their ready for the real thing." The ravenhaired king clasped his hands together.

"Wonderful,I'm counting on you...Riley."

Said man nodded,"But master,didn't you send the witch twins and Heidi to check on the hybrid?"

Aro tilted his head,clasping his hands together,"I trust that you'll dispose of them for me,If you succeed then you'll be replacing them." He said with a bastardly grin and an echoing chuckle.

That was the last thing they heard as the world returned to the present.

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The three glanced at eachother with the same hurt expression,"He truly didn't care? Was he so ready to get rid of us?" Jane growled now glaring at Riley tempted to use her gift.

Heidi crossed her arms,"I should have seen this coming,no wonder he was so eager to send us on this mission..He wanted to kill us." Alec looked down,"He had planned this all along, and we played right into his trap.."

Esme watched them sadly,knowing immediately who they were talking about. But a sudden movement caught her attention,she gasped and yelled to her distracted mate.

"(Y/N)! LOOK OUT!"

Right as i turned back to Riley a newborn had tackled me off,As we rolled and tossled for dominance trying to find a leverage over the other Riley stood up glaring with a smirk at the Volturi guards."I'd say i pity you and apologize, but i really don't care." The three got into a fighting stance but Esme was quick to speed over and push the three behind her,"Stay away from them Riley." She hissed,he chuckled and walked closer"Or what? You're just the weak mother of the cullens right? You can't hurt me." She glanced past him for a moment,before looking at him with a smile.

"You're right,I might not be able to....but i know who can." Right as he went to attack a clawed hand ripped through his chest.The fire burned his marble skin causing him to scream in agony.

I roared as i tore him in half,throwing his upper half away from his lower half.My flames from hell were quick to turn him to ash,the wind blew his ashes away,proving he wasn't going to hurt anyone ever again.

"Are you all alright?" Esme asked quickly running to my side as i fell to my knees,my fire dispersing."I am alright my love,merely overwhelmed with my emotions." I huffed looking over at the two woman behind her.

Jane and Heidis red eyes were enchanting,a small smile rested on their lips,"You two,you are my mates?"

Esmes eyes widened,"What? I..I didn't realize you could have more than one? How is this possible?" I chuckled as she helped me up,"I am a hellhound,i stopped questioning why and how a long time ago." Walking over to them with a wide grin i held out my arms,chuckling when they ran into them.

"This is it Esme,All three of you together is what filled the whole in my heart!" She watched us for a moment before smiling,walking into the hug.

"I always thought I'd be destined to never find my mate,my gift never made anyones feelings for me anything more than lust." Heidi said burying her beautiful face in my neck. Jane rubbed her cheek into my chest,finally relishing in the touch of someone other than her brother.He was the only one to ever hug her.

"I suppose we'll need a bigger cottage now to fit all four of us." Esme said with a smile.

Janes head shot up,"Wait,what about my brother." She turned back to Alec who had a sad smile on his face,"It is alright sister,you have waited so long to find la tua anima gemella(your soulmate).I will be fine."

She looked up at me sadly,With a sigh i nodded,"I wouldn't dream of splitting siblings apart,he may live with us as well." She smiled and nearly toppled me over in a hug,laughing i lifted her and heidi up,esme brought alec over with a motherly smile.

She should feel jealous,but as she watched us,seeing the happy smiles on all of our faces made her realize something.

After years of waiting to finally find her mate,she finally found me,and now we were building a family of our own.

And so long as she was 'alive',nothing was going to tear us apart,she knew I'd make sure of it.

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