#are we drawing steve in dresses again because i'm ready as always

[navybrat817]

Around Your Throat

Pairing: Vampire Mob!Bucky Barnes x Gifted!Female Reader Summary: Bucky has the perfect accessory to go around your throat. Word Count: 1.9k Warnings: E/xplicit s/exual content, f/ingering, b/iting, p/ossessive behavior, b/lood, feel (it's me), Bucky Barnes (he���s a warning, okay?). Graphic talent and thanks: Banner - @sgt-seabass, Divider - @firefly-graphics , Moodboard - yours truly A/N: Set before Lay Me Down, we're visiting our vampire to kick off Hot Bucky Summer challenge hosted by @buckybarnesevents! Theme - "What should I wear?" ❤️ Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

You stood in front of the full length mirror, a frown on your face as you looked over yourself. The black and gold gown you wore was beautiful, the v-neckline and fitted bodice drawing attention to your chest. Bucky had it designed for you, with your approval. He wanted only the best for his bride-to-be.

The fact that he had a matching suit almost put a smile on your face.

But you couldn’t figure out why you weren’t happy with your look. You thought for a moment that the dress was too much for a dinner, especially since you would be one of the only people at the table eating an actual meal. As Bucky’s future mate and your father’s daughter, however, it was the expectation that you’d look your best.

At least I won't have to create an illusion since I'll be amongst Bucky’s friends for the evening.

“I'm not sure about this,” you told your fiancé since he insisted on being in the room as you got ready, admiring your side profile with a sigh. "Should I change into something else?"

"Why would you change when you look good enough to eat?"

You spun around to face him, your breath catching when he stood from his chair and straightened his tie. He slicked his hair back for the evening and you longed to run your fingers through it to make a mess of it. This man managed to steal your heart and he would be the reason you took your last breath.

He was both your ending and your new beginning.

"Just what every girl wants to hear when she goes to feast with vampires," you teased, turning back to the mirror.

"If you sensed something was wrong, we wouldn't attend," he pointed out. He wouldn't risk your safety. He assured your father of that. "Should I tell Steve to play host while we skip it?"

"No, my love, because nothing is wrong," you assured him. You trusted his friends and the only gut feeling you sensed was that your evening would end happily. You looked forward to it.

"Then what's the matter?" he asked as he crossed the room and placed his hands on your hips. Though you couldn't see his reflection in the mirror, you imagined his blue eyes either darkened or glowed at the sight of you. Both stares always set the blood on fire in your veins. “Do you not like the dress? Should I rip it to shreds?”

“Don’t you dare,” you answered, narrowing your eyes when he chuckled. “I love this dress.”

“If you won’t let me tear this gown from your body, at least let me lift the skirt and bury myself in your pussy again,” he said, making you gasp when his cool lips brushed the shell of your ear. Your core throbbed at the idea, tempted to let him bend you over in front of the mirror as he took you apart. Once he turned you, you wouldn’t see your reflection ever again. “And if you love it, why have you stood here for the last two minutes, spinning and frowning at every angle?”

“As much as I’d love for you to ravage me, I don’t think we have time,” you said, gesturing to yourself. “And something’s missing. I can’t figure out what.”

Bucky hummed, gripping your chin to turn your head toward him. “I can get you off quickly," he said, which was true. "And you're missing an accessory. You need something around your throat.”

“Of course,” you smiled softly. Such a simple solution to a ridiculous problem. “What should I wear?"

He moved his hand to your neck before you could go to the armoire, making you moan when his fingers tightened. “I have something perfect in mind.”

“As much as I love this type of necklace,” you said, wetting your lips with your tongue. “I can’t go the whole meal with your hand around my throat.”

Bucky chuckled again, spinning you and pinning your back against the mirror with lightning speed. You trembled when his eyes began to glow, your blood rushing through your veins at the sight of his fangs. The mix of pain and pleasure whenever they pierced your skin brought you to a euphoric state. It was no wonder some begged to become a blood mistress or paramour.

You were lucky enough that you would belong to Bucky forever.

“And just because I can’t ravage you with my cock right this second doesn’t mean I can go through an entire meal without having a taste,” he whispered, pushing the skirt up so his cold hand could slide up your inner thigh. No tights and no underwear so he could have access to what belonged to him. His rule for the evening. “I need your blood and your cunt so I can behave myself."

“You better satisfy your craving then,” you whispered, knowing he’d want more before the sun came up. "And we'll see how well you actually behave."

Vampires had no shame when it came to sex or anyone who witnessed it.

Your wet, warm folds welcomed the cool feel of Bucky's expert touch. Before you could grip his arms, he pinned your hands above your head. His strength turned you on more, which you didn’t know was possible. You were almost in a constant state of arousal around him. “You'll beg for my cock long before you finish dinner,” he whispered against your lips, teasing your entrance as he kissed down the pulse in your neck. “Don't fucking move."

“Yes, sir,” you breathed, closing your eyes to brace yourself for what was coming.

Which would be you coming all over his fingers.

“Mine,” he growled, drawing a cry from you as he sank his fangs into your soft skin and slid two fingers inside your wet walls. You did your best to keep still as he slowly thrust and moaned against your neck. A submissive position he put you in to assert his power, yet you didn't feel weak. Even as he took your life essence and pleasure as his own he empowered you.

Because in return, you’d get every part of James Buchanan Barnes.

“Please, Bucky,” you begged when his thumb toyed with your clit. You wanted to grind your hips down, but he told you to stay still. If you had more time, you would've pushed to see what kind of punishment he'd dish out. But you knew he wanted to get you off quickly, like he said he could. "Please."

“So needy, darling. One of the things I love about you,” he said when he stopped drinking, blood running from your neck down your collarbone and chest as his fingers curled. He pulled back so you could see the red fluid around his lips. The feral look in his eyes as he licked them clean, your head spinning as you teetered on the edge. “Come for me.”

Your body seized up as you gushed around his fingers, your moan of ecstasy lost as he covered your mouth with his. You tasted your blood on his tongue as helped you ride out your orgasm. Days from now you would know the taste of him. Pleasure, eternity, love.

Your new life.

It took a moment for you to realize you were no longer against the mirror as you recovered. Bucky moved you to the bed to rest for a moment and catch your breath. the pinpricks in your neck closed and your dress straightened out. “Thank you for letting me have a taste,” he said, sucking his fingers into his mouth. “Didn’t think anything could make your blood sweeter, but your pussy does the trick.”

“Best combination,” you smiled.

“My favorite,” he agreed, helping you stand once your head stopped spinning. Lust still lingered in his gaze, but you couldn't ignore the concern that shone through. "Are you okay? I didn't take too much?"

"I'm okay," you assured him. He never wanted to lose control and take more than what he needed. No matter what, you were his number one priority. "And you won't have to worry once I you turn me."

"I'll still worry," he whispered. Loving you meant having something to lose. It also meant he had something worth living for. "One more thing before we go."

You smiled when he held up an onyx pendant surrounded by diamonds, like he pulled it out of thin air. Perfect to go with your dress. "It's beautiful," you said, allowing him to put it around your neck. "How did you manage to hide that from me?"

His fingers traced the delicate, gold chain as he smiled. "Because you aren't psychic, but you get feelings. Which is probably why you felt off when you looked in the mirror. You were waiting for me to give you this."

"It's like you know my gifts better than I do," you smiled, touching the pendant before you noticed there was still blood on your neck. "I should clean myself up."

"No," he said firmly, pulling you to his chest. You suspected his heart would race only for you if it could still beat. "You'll wear my mark with the necklace I gave you and your blood on your skin. You're going to be my wife and my mate. I want everyone to see that you belong to me and that there's no shame in my want for you."

You'd wear every brand and claim of his with pride.

"This won't show them that?" you asked, holding up your hand with your engagement ring.

"Vampires don't look at hands," he said, taking yours and kissing it. "They look at throats. And anyone who sees yours will know you're mine."

And I will be until the end of time.

"And when you turn me?" you asked, brushing your hand along his cheek. "Will I get to leave my mark on you and show everyone you're mine, too?"

"You can make an entire path of bites around my throat if that's what you desire," he offered, his icy hand covering yours. "I'll wear them proudly."

Bucky loved with his entire being. Not only were you strong and willing enough to accept it, you'd give him the same love in return. You would always be in each other's care.

My eternal partner.

"I might take you up on that," you smiled, feeling how hard he was through the fabric of his pants. Tempted to drop to your knees and return the favor, you asked, "Do we have time for me to take care of you?"

"We're already running late," he said, giving you a gentle kiss. "But maybe you can keep my cock warm at the table. No one will mind."

"I thought you were going to behave at dinner if you had a taste," you said, your walls clenching with the need to surround him, like he hadn't brought you to orgasm moments before.

"I will behave," he said innocently, but his eyes flashed as he showed his fangs again. "But we'll see how long you last before you try to ride me in front of everyone."

"Well, you did say I'd beg for your cock before I finished dinner."

And you suspected his hand, the necklace, and your blood would be the only things you wore around your neck once he took you to bed for the night.

Who wouldn't want an eternity with Bucky? Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[magenta-llama]

Somebody please explain?..

[captainjanegay]

Where I’m Meant to Be | Stucky | Meet-Cute, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Kid Fic, No powers AU | Chapters 3/? | 12k words | Ao3

Summary: Bucky is a single dad coming back from a work trip with a very bored, very whiney 7-year-old girl. A mysterious stranger with a kind heart and a notebook full of doodles comes to the rescue.

A/N: I was pondering whether I should leave the dance recital for later or just go with it and I decided that I had no idea how else could this third chapter go, so here it is! I hope you'll like it and as always I wanted to thank you so so much for all the love and kind words :') They all make my heart melt and make me actually excited (even though still anxious) about posting next chapters :') Thank you so much to everyone who has read, commented, liked or reblogged this fic, it means the world to me ♥

I was worried this one is going to be shorter but I've added some last minute Natasha content because who doesn't love Natasha content? I certainly do. Enjoy and see you all next time ♥

.

Chapter 3 

(4.4k words)

Bucky is nervous. It feels almost as if he is the one who’s going to dance in front of all those people in less than an hour. Although he thinks it would be less anxiety-inducing than watching Alex's performance. It’s not like he doesn’t believe in her. If there’s one thing that Bucky is sure of, it’s that his daughter is talented and brilliant and that she’s going to be amazing. He just knows how important it is to her, so he wants everything to go perfectly. Which is why in the last two minutes he has sent at least four messages to Clint to make sure he won't be late. 

Each time Clint told him to fuck off and not be a dick. There’s still over thirty minutes left before the recital starts and objectively Bucky knows Clint would never miss something that’s so important to Alex. It doesn’t stop him from worrying, though.

With a sigh, he slides his phone into his back pocket and looks around the lobby. Not that many people are around yet and Bucky is not that surprised. Besides the parents, there are rarely any other people coming to those things. Sometimes not even all the parents do. Alex probably has the biggest support group even on the smallest events. And Bucky doesn’t even need to drag anyone forcefully. They’re just lucky enough to have plenty of supportive friends in their life and thinking about it makes Bucky really emotional sometimes.

The door opens and Bucky’s eyes skip that way automatically. The man that walks in is tall and blond-haired, dressed in an old-school brown leather jacket and a scarf wrapped haphazardly around his neck. He hovers by the door for a few moments and looks a bit lost, scanning the lobby.

“Steve?” Bucky says and the man’s head turns towards him quickly.

When Steve's eyes land on Bucky, a big smile blooms on his face.

“Bucky, hi!” Steve says, walking over to him.

“You came.” Bucky points out with a smile. Steve made it clear on a few occasions that he will, but actually seeing him here is still a bit of a surprise.

“Of course. Didn’t want to let Alex down. Or you, but mostly her,” the sincerity in his voice warms Bucky’s heart. Steve rubs at his neck in a nervous gesture and reaches to his messenger bag. “I’ve actually— You’ve said how important to her it was so I— I’ve made a little something for her, I hope that’s OK?”

Surprised, Bucky looks down and sees that Steve is holding an open folder. Inside, there’s a drawing made with coloured pencils and when Bucky sees it his breath catches.

It shows Alexandra in full ballerina gear, with a big fluffy tutu and a little tiara on her head. There’s a huge smile on her face and her eyes are sparkling in the spotlights. She’s caught mid-pirouette. Even though it’s just a drawing, it’s so dynamic Bucky half expects her to start twirling across the page. Around her there is a confetti of musical notes and roses being thrown her way, some of them scattered on the stage in front of her. It’s so beautiful Bucky’s fingers twitch forward to touch the drawing but he quickly catches himself.

“God, Steve—” he starts but he has no idea what to say next.

“I just— I don’t know, I wanted to have a little gift for her? The dancers are given flowers after their performances, but I— I don’t know, I can just—,” Steve mumbles.

When Bucky finally tears his eyes away from the drawing, he notices that Steve has an honest to God blush on his cheeks and he’s still rubbing his neck in that nervous gesture. A sudden urge to wrap this amazing, kind man in a hug overwhelms Bucky. He manages to stop himself. Instead, he puts his hand on Steve’s bicep and squeezes lightly.

“It’s beautiful. I can’t even— My god, it’s amazing. Alex will go crazy when she sees it. I bet she’s gonna make me hang it somewhere,” Bucky lets out a chuckle. “And I’ll gladly do that, it’s really wonderful.”

A shy smile appears on Steve’s face as he closes the folder and carefully tucks it into his bag. “It’s nothing, just a little drawing.”

“Maybe for you but she’s gonna be over the moon. And I can’t believe that you really came and did this drawing and— You’re amazing, Steve.”

The blush on Steve’s cheeks only deepens. He looks down, refusing to look into Bucky’s eyes and he opens his mouth to say something.

But before he gets the chance, there’s some commotion on the other side of the lobby. When Bucky looks that way, he sees Clint and Scott arguing about something, the former holding a phone in front of his face. Walking calmly behind them are Hope and Cassie, both with similar tired yet fond expressions on their faces.

“Hi guys, you’ve made it!” Bucky greets them with a smile.

“We did! Clint kept rushing us cause apparently you’ve been bugging him for the last hour not to be late,” Hope says giving Bucky an one-armed hug. 

“I—,” Bucky stutters. “It wasn’t an hour. Besides I wouldn’t if I knew he was picking you up.”

“Of course it was an hour and of course you would, Barnes. Don’t lie and pretend you're not a crazy person,” Clint says, looking up from the phone. 

Clint’s eyes skip from Bucky to Steve, who moved half a step back and is watching the commotion with a polite smile on his face. When Clint looks back at Bucky, he wiggles his eyebrows with an awful smile. 

Bucky never wanted to smack him so badly. 

“You won’t introduce us?” Clint asks.

Sending him one last hateful look, Bucky glances at Steve, giving him an apologetic smile.

“Sorry. Here’s Scott, his fiancee Hope and his daughter Cassie. And this idiot is Clint, sorry about him. Guys, this is Steve, a… friend, we’ve met recently.”

“It’s nice to meet you all,” Steve says with a smile.

“Wait, what Steve? How is James making friends, I didn’t know he could do that?” comes a voice from Clint’s phone, making Bucky groan.

“We’re just as surprised, Nat.”

Clint turns his phone around, showing the screen with Natasha’s slightly glitchy face on it. She quickly scans the new surroundings and her eyebrows shoot up when she notices Steve.

“Oh hello,” she greets with a signature Natasha smile, kind but slightly wolfish and possibly intimidating to strangers. "I'm Natasha."

“Um.” Steve sends a confused glance Bucky’s way, but says. “Nice to meet you too, Natasha. I’m Steve, the new friend. Apparently that's an achievement for Bucky.”

If Bucky felt sympathetic for Steve for being ambushed by his friends, he’s not anymore. Instead, he groans again and ignores the small smirk that Steve sends him and Natasha’s “I like this one!”.

“Can you all just shut up and proceed to the hall, please?” Bucky gestures towards the door across the room. “Since we’re all here already and the show is going to start soon we can as well take our seats already.”

When they don't move, Bucky ushers them forward, waving his arms as if they were a flock of chickens. Sometimes it feels like they are. Eventually, they do move and Bucky sends a small smile towards Steve who hangs back waiting for him.

"So, um—," Steve starts, looking at the small group in front of them before glancing back at Bucky. "Your wife couldn't come?"

Steve's voice is conversational so he seems surprised when Bucky halts to a stop.

"I'm—” Bucky furrows his brows in confusion. "I don't have a wife."

"Oh." Steve looks both confused and embarrassed now. "I'm sorry, I didn't— I just assumed, since Alex mentioned her mum a lot and— sorry."

"Oh no, Bucky's single," Scott says, apparently hearing the little exchange.

"And desperately ready to mingle," Clint prompts helpfully, throwing a grin over his shoulder.

It feels like Bucky has been doing nothing but groaning in distress during the past few minutes. "I'm not desperate—"

"I'm the mum!" comes Natasha's chipper voice from Clint's video call and he kindly turns the phone around. "Not the wife, though. James's too insufferable as anything but a friend. And likes men too much for that."

"Tasha, for fuck's sake," Bucky says loudly, getting a dirty look from some random mum who overhears him.

He pointedly doesn't look at Steve throughout this whole exchange. Why do his friends hate him so much? He doesn't deserve to be treated like this.

"Can we just—" Bucky takes a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose, "not talk about this and to the performance, please. It's starting soon."

It's Hope who stops this madness and decides not to ignore Bucky's obvious discomfort. With a smile directed at both Steve and Bucky, she takes Scott by his elbow and turns him around, pushing Clint slightly towards the hall. They don't object. Bucky has never been more grateful for her.

It's not until a few minutes later when they are all seated in the hall, surrounded by the quiet murmur of different conversations before the show, when Steve leans closer from his seat next to Bucky's.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable," Steve says quietly.

Bucky chances a look at him. The lightning is dim but the distance between them is small enough for Bucky to make out the dark blush dusting Steve's cheeks.

"It's not your fault my friends are idiots," Bucky jokes to lighten the mood. "Should've worn ya' before I've invited you."

Steve laughs at that. "Still, though. Shouldn't have just assumed things."

"It was a perfectly normal assumption to make." Bucky points out. "Really, don't stress about it. It's all good."

For a moment, Steve doesn't look convinced but eventually he nods and smiles. Bucky reciprocates the gesture. For a moment they just look at each other but their attention is soon drawn towards the front of the room. Some more lights above the stage appear when the owner of the studio walks in with a smile, asking everyone to take a seat. Her introductions are pretty standard and she keeps them short. Soon enough, the main show begins.

It’s really entertaining, even considering the fact that the age of the performers varies between 4 and 12 years old. They’re dancing in many configurations, the smallest dancers mostly in big groups and Bucky smiles the whole time, watching their — sometimes still clumsy but oh so cheery — dancing. Two of the oldest kids perform an amazing pas de deux to the music from Sleeping Beauty. They dance to a lot of contemporary music and loads of Disney songs, to Steve’s great delight. Bucky only shakes his head with a disbelieving smile when he hears Steve singing along to A Whole New World under his breath. Feeling Bucky’s eyes on him, Steve only shrugs and laughs quietly.

Alex is in two group dances and she has her own solo performance. She’s brilliant in all of them. And it’s not just Bucky’s biased opinions, because the hall erupts in loud applause when she finishes her solo with a bow and a huge smile on her face. Watching the concentration on her face, mixed with the absolute joy of dancing makes Bucky teary-eyed and by the end of her last performance he doesn’t even try to stop the tears. All the pride he feels, threatens to tear him apart. He would be the proudest even if she sucked but the fact that she manages to awe everyone in the room makes it all so much better.

After the recital is over, some of the guests leave to wait in the lobby but Bucky and his friends stick around in the hall, moving closer to the stage. Soon enough, Alex bolts from backstage, still in her dress and everything and launches herself into Bucky’s arms.

“You were incredible, my love!" Bucky says, hugging her tight and kissing the side of her face. “I’m so proud of you! You made me cry real tears, you were so beautiful.”

“Thanks, papa,” Alex laughs, leaning away a bit to look at him, her eyes sparkling with joy.

Soon enough, she gets whipped away from Bucky’s embrace by Clint who starts spinning her around the room, both of them shrieking loudly. They earn some disapproving looks by doing that, but they couldn’t care less. Bucky only watches them with a fond smile, laughing and getting emotional again when Alexandra notices the huge bouquet they’ve bought just for her. She talks briefly with Natasha - the video conference was on during the whole performance so even though Nat couldn’t be here in person, she could still watch the whole thing. Natasha apologises for not being there but promises to make it to the next recital that is supposed to happen around New Year’s Eve and she points out how proud she is every two words.

Bucky lets everybody congratulate his little girl and shower her with the love she deserves. He’ll have plenty of time to do that at home. So he takes a step back and stands next to Steve.

Steve, who waits politely, probably not wanting to interrupt as he just watches it all with a smile on his face. But when Alex’s eyes finally land on him, matching big smiles bloom on both of their faces.

“Steve! You came!” Alex exclaims, bouncing closer to where Steve and Bucky are standing.

“Of course I did,” Steve says and he crouches to be on Alex’s eye level. “You were incredible! Thank you so much for inviting me, it was so worth it. And I have a little gift for you.”

Hearing that, Alex starts bouncing on the balls of her feet in excitement and she watches as Steve retrieves the drawing. The moment her eyes land on it, she lets out a small gasp. Just like Bucky did before, she moves her hand as if she wants to touch it but stops, afraid to ruin it. When she looks up at Steve, her eyes seem a little watery.

“It’s for me?” she asks and when Steve nods, she carefully takes it from his hands. “I love it! Thank you so much, Steve!”

With that, she wraps her small arms around Steve’s neck. The movement catches Steve off guard, almost enough to make him lose his balance and Bucky laughs at the surprised look Steve sends him.

“You’re so welcome, Alexandra,” Steve says eventually, rubbing her back. “I’m happy you like it. Thank you again for inviting me.”

“Papa, look!” Alex yells, moving away from Steve and proudly showing Bucky the drawing. “It’s me!”

“It is!” Bucky agrees, hugging her close one more time. “It's my wonderful little ballerina!"

***

After the performance, they all decide to go to a restaurant for a celebratory dinner. Steve tries to flee but both Clint and Hope — which comes out as a bit of surprise to Bucky — nag him to join them. He sends a look at Bucky, probably hoping Bucky's gonna back him up.

He doesn't. Instead, both he and Alex send Steve their best puppy dog eyes saying that they'll love if Steve came along. Steve is not able to resist such power.

Bucky's not sure why he insists so hard on Steve coming with them, not really knowing what to expect. It turns out he had nothing to worry about. Steve fits right in with their little group. The evening is very nice and they all feel comfortable in each other's company. Bucky's a bit afraid at the beginning, when Clint starts asking some pretty nosy questions and is being his horrible self. Everyone except Steve has gotten used to it and they know that Clint is the best friend one can have but for some reason, he sometimes hides it quite well. But Steve doesn’t seem to be judging or getting annoyed in any way. Quite the opposite. It also turns out that under all of Steve’s gold-heartedness hides a little asshole with witty comebacks and good-natured jabs at whoever tries to mess with him. He can totally keep up with whatever Clint’s up to at any given moment.

It's enough to say that Clint absolutely loves it.

They don’t stay at the restaurant for too long. They can’t since Alex is tired after all of today’s excitement. She tries very hard to hide it, though. Fortunately for her, Bucky knows her better and he saves her from crossing the line between happy and miserably exhausted. No matter how nice the evening is going so far, they should go. So for the sake of Alex’s pride, Bucky says he’s getting tired and the two of them are probably going to head home. It's not even a lie. Considering he's only 29 and it's not even 10 p.m. it's kind of sad that he really does feel a bit sleepy. Alex tries to protest but it’s weak, which only proves Bucky’s assessment of her energy levels was correct. Of course, everyone else jumps to their feet almost immediately. They exchange hugs and thank-you’s and more congratulations for Alexandra and finally some goodbye’s as they all go in different directions. 

The short walk home wakes Alex up a bit. And because it's still her big night, Bucky lets her stay up for a little longer than usually when they finally get home. They cuddle on the couch and watch How to Train Your Dragon together, while sharing a bowl of ice cream. Of course their private little celebrations can’t start until the drawing from Steve is safely put away in Alex's room with promises that Bucky will hang it tomorrow.

About halfway through the movie Alex drifts off to sleep, curled safely on Bucky's lap. He takes a few extra minutes stroking her hair, trying not to think too much about how big she's getting or that soon she won't be so happy about cuddling with her papa anymore. Eventually, Bucky picks her up gently and carries her to her room. He finishes the movie and gets himself an extra scoop of ice cream before he heads to bed.

The next morning Alex almost drags him out of bed, rushes him through breakfast and almost pushes him out of the door. All that because he promised they're gonna shop for things they need to put the portrait from Steve on the wall. Bucky is not even mad. It is a gorgeous piece of art and he's really happy that Alex is so thrilled with it.

A few hours, some drilling and vacuuming tons of dust later, he snaps a picture of the drawing hanging proudly on the wall above the chest of drawers in Alex's bed. He attaches it to a message.

To: Steve Guess who got bullied into an IKEA trip at 10 in the morning on a Saturday just to buy a frame? Saturday, 12:30 A.M.

From: Steve Sorry? :) Saturday, 12:31 A.M.

From: Steve I'm honoured she likes it so much, though. Saturday, 12:32 A.M.

To: Steve I bet you're not sorry at all, you jump out of buildings for fun, you can't be trusted. Saturday, 12:37 A.M.

From: Steve I did NOT jump out of a building, stop saying that! And what happened to "you're amazing, Steve"? Saturday, 12:40 A.M.

To: Steve ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Saturday, 12:41 A.M.

***

After all the emotions from yesterday, Saturday passes in a nice yet uneventful way. Alex falls asleep on her feet at barely half past seven, but it’s no surprise that the tiredness has finally caught up to her. She doesn’t even try to argue when Bucky suggests she should head to bed earlier. After tucking her in, he lays down on the couch for a second, promising himself that he’ll do the dishes before heading to bed. Suddenly, it’s past 10 P.M. and he’s mindlessly watching some late-night reruns of Say Yes to The Dress. He’s not even surprised at this turn of events.

The noise his phone makes blasts in the quiet of the living room, making Bucky jump. He’s in such a rush to turn off the ringing that he drops the phone on his face, accidentally answering the incoming video call.

“Hi, dimwit. Did you just drop your phone on your face again?” He hears Natasha’s amused voice.

“I’ve never dropped a phone on my face in my life, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Bucky answers as he rubs his aching nose that has taken most of the impact.

Natasha only rolls her eyes at that. “My girl already asleep?”

“Yeah, went to bed before 8 p.m. and i bet she’ll sleep in tomorrow. She was positively exhausted today.”

“I’m not even surprised. She deserves some rest though, she was so brilliant last night,” Natasha says with a sad smile. “I hate that I couldn’t be there.”

“Don’t do this to yourself, Tasha. She understands,” Bucky tries to convince her. “Besides you’re gonna be here for Christmas, right?”

Natasha is not reassured. She thinks she hides it well enough for Bucky not to notice, but he’s known her for too long. She sighs but then answers with a small smile. “Yeah, I will be home for most of December. I’ll need to go to Cali for a bit, as always, but I should be back for Christmas.”

“That’s great,” Bucky smiles. “We miss you here and you’ll be just in time to see Alex in the Nutcracker, you know that one’s even more important to her.”

“Can’t wait. She’s gonna outmatch me sooner than I’ve expected.”

“She will and I don’t even feel sorry for you. She’s just so incredible. Like with your skills and my brains and also my good looks she’s destined for great things. I feel kind of bad for other kids,” Bucky chuckles but he only half-jokes.

In response he gets a raised eyebrow from Natasha. “I think you’ve meant my skills, my brains and my good looks and your—,” she waves her hand towards him dismissively. “I mean, I’m sure there’s something, we’ll figure it out at some point. Maybe it’s your love for Say Yes to the Dress, who knows.

“I’m—,” Bucky tries to defend himself but the grin on Natasha’s face tells him it’s a lost fight. He didn’t expect Natasha to recognise the background noise of his TV but then — it’s Natasha, so he should have. “You’re so full of shit, Romanoff.”

“I’m not. You are though,” Natasha says and when Bucky sends her a questioning look, she explains with a cheeky smirk. “I can’t believe you haven’t told me you’ve found yourself a new, smoking hot friend!”

“You know what, I don’t have to put up with this, I’m gonna go to bed,” Bucky sighs, but he makes no move to actually hang up.

Natasha only laughs triumphantly. “Oh my, why are you so defensive all of sudden? I didn’t say anything bad, did I?”

“You’re something bad in general, so I’m always prepared. Why are you all so obsessed with Steve? I have to put up with Clint already, so please, leave me alone.”

“We just care about you! And since you’ve been stuck with just us for ages, we’re excited there’s someone new, kind and handsome in your life!” the grin on her face makes Bucky groan out loud. “He seems nice and I hope you’ll be able to get to know him better. In a lot of ways.”

“See? This is exactly what I meant. I can’t believe I’ve been friends with you for so long.”

Another laugh escapes her mouth but her eyes soften when she looks back at him a moment later. “Really, though. You can’t be alone your whole life. And don’t bullshit me saying that you have Alex, you know that’s not my point. You’re just a huge softie who needs someone to make heart eyes at, it’s basically in your blood.”

Bucky chuckles in disbelief, not sure how this conversation got to this point. “What are you even talking about? I’ve known Steve for way too little for you to say all this. I’ve seen him in person twice. Twice, Natasha.”

“I’m not saying it has to be Steve, I know you’ve just met him. It was just a side note, completely unrelated to Steve. If anyone’s making a connection here, it’s you. So maybe you should think about that.” Natasha looks at him pointedly and when Bucky tries to chime in, she doesn’t let him. “Also on a completely unrelated note, Steve seems like a good guy, if you think about dating. And if you think about casual, he’s also smoking hot.”

“You’ve already mentioned that,” Bucky points out. “And you’ve only seen him via video chat.”

“Well, he is and it was clear even through Clint’s shitty camera.”

It’s hard to disagree with that. Even though Natasha is insane and he is not going to date anyone in the near future, let alone Steve whom he barely knows. He can objectively agree that Steve is unfairly attractive, though.

“Before you go all defensive and mean again — I just want you to be happy, James,” Natasha says. “And maybe having around someone who’s not Clint would be good for you.”

Bucky shakes his head with a chuckle. “You might have a point. But dating is not really on my priority list and I don’t think it’s a good time to change that now.”

“Ugh, whatever,” Natasha groans. “I really hope it won’t turn out that our daughter actually inherited your brains, because you’re an idiot.” She takes a deep sigh and changes the topic. “But let’s get to the important things now — is it just me or the dresses he shows this Caroline chick are getting uglier and uglier?”

“Oh God, I know, right? I don’t think I can handle another one of those monstrosities.”

taglist: @steverrogers​ @till-the-end-of-the-line-punk​ (@ anyone else - let me know if you want to be tagged ♥

[darter-blue]

you are doing so amazingly well! i'm so friggin proud of you and am in awe of you making this challenge bend to your will. we love to see it. 😄 now, onto words 😈 i have a few just to give you options: pat, suck, and panic. do you happen to have any lines with these words in them?? as always, love you so much! gros bisous 😘😘😘😘

ALIIIIII!!!!!

Your praise is melting my heart 🥺🥺 having your constant cheerleading is keeping me sane rn I have to say. I'd be lost without you 🙈🙈

As for your words, I have two! So I'll give you both, because you deserve the world my lovely:

Pat:

By the time Steve is out of the shower and dressed, Bucky is ready and waiting for him on the lounge, Alpine in his lap, hand in her fur, patting down her back with casual affection.

And Suck:

And Steve knows Bucky isn't going to eat but he can forgive him this once, taking a strawberry and kneeling taller to slide the fruit into Bucky's mouth with his fingers, Bucky sucking them into his mouth, rolling his tongue around them, as Steve draws them out again slowly.

Both from chapter 2. Coming to you in a few short days!!

LYSM ALI!!

Come give some words people, I'll see what I have for you 😘💋

[prettiestsupersoldier]

Better Than Before

5k+  words 

AN:This was supposed to be posted damn near 2 weeks ago but  so many distractions the Kingsman trailer eggsy my love and my favorite video game getting an update and school to a much lesser degree than the first 2. also my laptop hates Buckys name now so that great and I still suck at endings and titles and writing in general 

 The first part A year and Six Months

@babemichael

Friday afternoon to Sunday night Bucky isn’t an Avenger he is a dad with a daughter. A daughter that loves piggy back rides and stories before bed. A daughter who hates apples but loves carrots more than any bunny rabbit in the world.

“Daddy!!” The now 2 and a half year old screeches in a fit of giggles as Bucky chases behind her. Her tiny legs carrying her as fast and as far as they can away from him.

It had been a long almost 2 years for you and Bucky after being away for so long it was a little weird in the beginning. He was insistent that you stay for longer than the few days you had intended so he could get to know everything he had missed out on in the year and 6 months you had been away. He was more then happy to take care of all the diapers Jamie had while you were there “A few poopy diapers is nothing compared to what you’ve had to deal with.” and any late night feeding he was more than ready to jump up and go get a bottle.

“Princess, I'm gonna get you!” He's a few steps behind her and there's a giant smile on his face. He hasn't been as happy as he is now in such a long time. There are toys all over his floor of the tower. His once plain black bed sheets and cover are now a bright purple with Doc McStuffins on them. There are crayon drawings on every appliance in his kitchen. There’s an abundance of princess dresses and crowns in his room closet. His kitchen that once only contained the bare minimum, A few beers, plums, and leftover take out, was now stocked with vegetables, dinosaur chicken nuggets, macaroni and cheese and any other thing a growing almost 3 year old could ever possible want. His once bare and empty floor is now full of color and life.

There's a shriek that snaps Bucky back to the present and he sees his daughter tumbling forward. She's tripped over one of her monstrous toys uncle Tony insisted she needed to have, he isn't sure which one but in his opinion they are all death traps. He leaps the few feet that it takes to get to her before she can fall, both arms braced for her to fall into him. There is a small squeak from the impact of her falling into his arms but no tears which was always a good sign.

“I'll always be here to catch the princess before she falls” He smothers her face with kisses and tiny bites as he tickles her sides and makes his way back to his room for bed.

“Now, bedtime so we can see mommy tomorrow.” He says as he pulls out her favorite paw patrol pajamas.

‘Family Day’ had been hands down the best idea Bucky had ever come up with. He knew it was pushing the limit when he asked for you guys to spend an entire saturday together and he was sure you would tell him no there was no point in you being around while he spent time with Jamie, but you hadn’t, you wanted the best for your child and a full day with both parents just having fun and being a family you felt was the best for her because even if you and Bucky couldn't make a relationship work you could still be a family.

She pouts and he swears you must have taught her that. The way her bottom lip sticks out and her eyes get all shiney. It's your pout the one that you gave him when you asked to go out for a late night walk at 2 in the morning because you were convinced the fresh air and quiet atmosphere would help you sleep better ( It did help you sleep better because the second you got to the park and sat down on the bench you were fast asleep and bucky had carried you all the way back home, when you woke up the next morning you didn't remember going for the walk and bucky didn't bring it up completely happy with the memory of carrying your sleeping form all the way back to the tower.). He helps her jump into her shorts and pulls the shirt over her head. He can’t help but to laugh as her tiny hands search for the arm holes.

“Story.” She was so tired and he heard it all in her voice the way it got softer and the way her sentences completely cut off to only a few words. Saw it in her actions she got cuddlier and more affectionate, and bucky thought of how you used to get that way when you got sleepy or sick. Then his mind wondered to what you must have been like all big and pregnant, how you must have been so adorable, wondered who you cuddled with when you were almost due, wondered if there was another person who laid besides you and rubbed your back the way you liked. He didn’t like to think about that, didn’t like to remember that it was his own fault he wasn’t there.

“How about I tell you a special bedtime story?” He hated thinking about you with someone else and then he thought that there must have been a time when you felt that way.

She crawls over to him and settles her tiny body into the space between his neck and metal arm. In the past he would have tried to move her over to his human arm out of fear of hurting her, but he's learned a lot in this year and the fact that she loves his metal arm almost as much as you had is always his favorite to remember.

“peas?” Her tiny voice asks and he can't say no, never wanted to tell her no.

“Anything for you.” And it true he would do anything at all if she asked. So he begins quietly telling the only story he could think of. The day you met.

He remembered that day more vividly than anything else. It was early maybe 4 in the morning when he and Steve had come back to the tower and of course F.R.I.D.A.Y. wasn't going to let them just sneak in. There had been a short but loud alert to let the team know that they had arrived back and as the team filled out from the back bucky had taken a mental note of everyone. Natasha didn’t even look a little bit tired and that terrified him. Clint looked dead on his feet and that seemed pretty normal for him. Tony Bruce and Rhodey all looked like they hadn’t even been to sleep yet. Then you walked in leaning heavily onto Thor's broad back You had been almost invisible standing behind the giant asgardian but he saw you. He couldn't stop looking at you.

He remembered your hair being a mess and all over your head. He would always tell you he liked your hair any way you did it but when it was a mess that was his favorite it reminded him of that moment. You had dried up drool in the corner of your bottom lip clearly F.R.I.D.A.Y. had interrupted a good deep sleep. Your pajama shirt was riding up your belly and your shorts were practically twisted all the way around our legs.

“She was so pretty.” He sounded like he was in a daze and he kind of was remembering how you couldn't even keep your eyes open when he and Tony had made amends that night. He remembered how you cuddled up on the couch after that and refused to be moved until morning when you woke up again. He knew his daughter wasn't listening at this point by the soft even breathing coming from her. He kissed her cheeks one final time before picking her up and laying her down on the bed next to him.

“Ready to go home?” You ask reaching for your daughter. It was now Sunday evening and the family day was over and you were beyond tired. Jamie had insisted she wanted to go see the puppies at the park after breakfast and he couldn't say no to her and you couldn't say no to either of them so you went, and you and he had spent the entire day chasing after her as she ran with the dogs.

“Stebie…” Her tiny voice whines as she holds on to Steve's shirt for dear life. This is Bucky’s least favorite part about weekend visits. When you guys have to leave after family day and you have to say goodbye and he comes to the crushing realization that after all this time you still aren't back where he knows you belong. That you still don't go to bed next to him every night or wake up next to him every morning any more.

“You know you guys are always welcome to stay here for a few extra days.” Steve says rubbing circles into Jamie's back and giving quick glances to his left at Bucky who was staring off into space.

“That would be great but I don't have any clothes here.” You would love to stay at the tower it had been such a long time and you honestly missed the team so much. Having late night drinks and movies with Natasha and Wanda. Annoying Tony with Clint and Scott. You missed them all and it would be so nice to finally spend time with them again.

When you looked at Steve and Bucky again you saw his lips move but didn't hear exactly what he’d said.

“What'd you say buck?” You asked honest curiosity evident in your voice.

“Of course you still have clothes here how could I throw them out?”

“I … uh I said that...” He was floundering and he needed help bad.

“He said we can find something for you to wear around here.” Steve provides without missing a beat and if he wasn't already eternally indebted to Steve he is now.

“Well then I guess it's settled.” You said as you smiled up at the three of them.

After you and Bucky put Jamie to bed, her insisting that she wanted to sleep in her room of the tower next to her favorite uncle Steve’s (“Why doesn't she love me as much as she loves capsicle?! I sneak her cookies all the time! IT'S NOT FAIR!!” “You're a grown man Tony.” “WHO NEEDS LOVE AND AFFECTION!”), you both went your separate ways.

You went off to one of the many spare rooms in the tower a hot shower was calling to you. You were sweaty and hot and your bones were aching after running around with Bucky and your daughter. Luckily with all the running she did Jamie would  definitely sleep through the night.

Less than 5 minutes after you had gotten out of your shower there was a knock on the door and before you could even get up to open it, it had been flung open revealing a very excited looking Natasha and avery apologetic looking Wanda.

“I have rum and vodka!” Natasha sings as she shuts the door behind them with her socked foot.

“Wanda has popcorn and oreos let's do this!!”

So that's how you spent the next few hours with the girls laughing at stories about the the team, your team that you missed. You would occasionally pipe in with stories about Jamie when she came up and both Nat and Wanda would tell you how lucky you were to have such a beautiful baby girl.

“Do you know how awful it was watching the winter fucking soldier mop around this place? It was terrible.” Natasha said face first into the bed sheets.

You laughed bitterly at that. You couldn't imagine Bucky being upset over you not being around after what hed done. You had on several occasions thought about what and who he had been up to while you were away. How many people he had in his bed. How often he would go out looking for a new person to keep his bed warm and it made you sick to your stomach every time you thought about a new person in his bed.

“He didn't do what you're thinking.” Wanda stated before standing up from the floor.

You must have looked like a deer in headlights when you whipped your head around to look at her.

“After you left he didn't have anyone else. He told the woman not to ever come back and kicked her out and then … then there was no one else.” She said looking cheerfully in your direction before pulling Natasha to her feet.

“We better get out of here it is super late good night!”She called out as he hurried her Natasha from your room.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y. is Sergeant Barnes in his room?” you asked the AI unite as you checked the time. It was barely 3:30.

“Not yet Miss he is leaving the common room from talking to ones Mr. Wilson and Captain Rogers.”

“Thank you F.R.I.D.A.Y.” you replied before you collapsed onto the bed fully intending on getting some sleep but you couldn't. You needed to talk to Bucky.

Bucky on the other hand had gone in search of Sam and Steve for much needed advice. He found them not long after he started his search in the living area of the tower watching some terrible movie he didn’t know the name of. He plants himself on the opposite couch from both sam and steve and stares down at his hands.

“I need help with Y/N.” He didn't need to look up from hands to know that they were staring at him so he just kept talking.

“I know that I've always wanted a family I … I can remember always wanting a family with a girl I couldn't get enough of. A big one with lots of kids and a dog or two.”

“Yeah Buck you always talked about it when we were coming up.”

“I never wanted to be a ‘baby daddy’ or have a ‘baby mama’ I wanted to be married and to have a wife. Y/N was what I wanted and only Y/N. I want my best girl back.” He dared to look up now. Steve was still looking at him but Sam had turned his attention back to the TV.

“You missed that train dude.” Sam said flipping through some channels on the TV.

“Sam.” Steve warned.

“Buck are you sure you wanna tell her all of this now? What if she still needs time?” Bucky looked over at Steve to see if he was serious about what he'd said. He couldn't possibly be he had waited way longer than he needed to and he was ready to tell you. He had too.

“What!? He's already wasted so much time sitting on his ass and moping. I’m surprised she hasn't moved one yet. A gorgeous girl like her with such a cute kid if she wanted to she could have definitely done better by now.”

“Sam stop. Buck why don't you just wait it out a little longer.”

“No Steve. He's been sitting around here waiting for too long expecting us all to feel sorry for him because the light of his life left him. News flash dude no one told him to be balls deep into the next woman. If he felt the way he says he does, as bad as he says he does then he should grow up and act like it. Tell her. Now or never.”

Having Sam give him an ultimatum like that put more of his thoughts into perspective. Sam was definitely the hardest on him after you left and Buck had assumed it was because he was the one who had known you outside of the avengers first but after a few months Sam had confronted him about his actions. Sam had screamed at him for nearly an hour and a half about how he’d let the best thing that ever happened to walk out and he was forced to listen to him. Listened to him yell that he had never seen Bucky happier than when you were around.

“He's right.” Bucky said getting up from his seat on the couch. He'd made his decision, he was gonna tell you tonight come hell or high water.

By the time he made it back to his floor all he could think about was telling you everything. He wanted to talk about all the ways he had messed up from the tiniest things like leaving his clothes in the washing machine for days at a time to this last huge one. He didn't care if you were with someone new … well he did but even if you were he would still tell you.

He was drawn from his thoughts at the softest knock on his door. He knew there was no way it was anybody but you at this time of night so he swallowed all the nervous and all the doubt and told you too come in.

You weren't drunk by any means. Tipsy absolutely, but not drunk you still had a child to look after the next day and a hangover wouldn't help with that at all. You were just a lot braver now which was what had you knocking on his door so close to 4 in the morning.  

You walked in wearing the pajamas Steve had given you earlier that night. You recognized them the very second he handed them to you, your favorite sleep shorts and one of Bucky's way too large for either of you shirts. A part of you hoped he would be asleep by now, hoped that in the time it took for him to get from the common area to his room he would be dead tired. Before he would try and be in bed by 12, but now you had no idea what his sleep schedule was like. When you finally got the courage to knock on the door it took no time at all for him to tell you to come in.

When you walked in you were shocked everything was different. The queen sized bed he used to have was replaced with a giant California king. The blackout shades that covered his window before were gone and there was nothing in its place showing off the starry night and New York skyline. You always thought his room had the perfect view. The walls that were once bare now had pictures of Jamie smiling as she was pushed on a swing and ones of her in a pretty pink dress as he and Steve stood either side of her in suits. You’d have to ask about that one later. You laughed a loud to yourself as you noticed the Doc McStuffins bedspread.

Buckys eyes followed yours around the room. When you laughed his decision to tell you was solidified.

“She said Doc McStuffins would help with the nightmares.” She had said that a few months back after he had come back from a 3 week long mission. He had come home beat down and tired and only wanting to see her face and when he finally had he cried. He hated being away for  more than a week, of course he had a job a to do being one of earth's mightiest heroes but he was always a little more anxious now that he knew he had a tiny child depending on his safe return. That night he had slept with her cuddled close enough for him to hear her even snores but far away enough that should he have a soldier's nightmare she was out of harm's way. He had had a nightmare that night. He had to watch his daughter be dragged away from him while he sat strapped into that goddamn chair as she cried out to him to help her. He’d woken up covered in sweat and tears and million and one ideas about what would happen if HYDRA could get to her. How he’d do anything and everything to get her back even if he had to be the soldier again. So he cried again over all the things that could happen to his daughter and all the fighting he would go through all over again just to keep her safe. She had woken up at the sounds of his sobbing and all he could do is give her a watery smile and open his arms to her as she crawled in and wiped his tears away.

“Doc Mcstuffins makes the bed dreams go away.” She had yawned out to him and the very next day he had gotten rid of his black bed set in exchange for his current one.

“She’s great like that.” You smile at him as you walked over to the window admiring the stars in the sky.

“She gets her greatness from you.” He says looking at the stars from his spot on the bed.

“Well her dad is pretty great too.” You turn to look at him as he watches the stars behind you

You take this time to note the similarities between  him and Jamie. The way they both look at something they really love with gold in their eyes. The crooked smile they both have on their faces when they think no one can see it.

“Can I um ask you something?” You don't wait for his response before you start asking all the questions that you've wanted to ask for so long.

“Why wasn't I enough?” and then you're crying and you can't stop and your mouth is still going, asking questions you aren't sure you even want to know the answers to.

“Was it because she's prettier than me?” There's a loud sob and it sounds so far away from where you are right now, so foreign to your own ears but you know it's you and you can't stop the next one that crashes through you. There is one last question that leaves your lips before you can stop it.

“Did you really love me?” Your bottom lips is quivering as you stare back at him.

Buckys heart is shattered with the first question you ask and it shatters into tinier and tinier pieces with each question you ask but it's the last one that turns the pieces to pure dust.

You'd never cried around Bucky before, not when you first broke your arm on a mission, not when, You had to watch a dog be taken from her pups not even when you left that night. You were crying now though and it hurt for Bucky to know it was all his fault.

He jumped up from his position on the bed to walk towards you.

“Doll please this wasn't your fault it was me 100% me and me alone. You were perfect … always so perfect.” He reached to wipe your tears away, he didn't want to see you see cry over his stupid mistakes.

He wanted to hold you and kiss you but he knew better than to do any of that, now wasn't the time. He had to talk first, tell you everything thing he had been telling himself for so long.

“Y/N, Doll you gotta sit down okay? I don't want you passing out.” You were hyperventilating and it was scaring him. He was reaching for your hands now to lead you towards the bed. You nodded tears still flowing down your hot cheeks you didn't reach to grab his hands though instead rubbing at your eyes as you walked over to the bed.

“I'm just gonna talk now okay? I just need to talk and I really want you to listen but if you don't I'll understand completely.” He sat at the end of the bed facing you, as much as he didn't want to look at you while you were crying he needed to look into your eyes to tell you this.

“I ...I messed so terribly bad. I did. I wish I could say that it was something that just happened, unplanned but I can't I knew what was going to happen that day and I was fully aware of her intentions and what she wanted from me and what I wanted from her.” He could feel his throat closing and his breath was coming out hard and fast but he wasn't finished he still had so much more to say.

You just stared back at him tears slowly but steadily flowing the more he spoke.

“I have regretted that day every single day since it happened and every single day I have beaten myself up about it.”

You could believe that, Bucky was definitely the type of person who beat himself over things that he had control over just as much as things he didn't, especially after HYDRA and all the brainwashing he'd been put through. He spent countless nights recounting to you all of the things he'd done and you'd listen to everything he had said, listened to the way he blamed himself over the HYDRA agents that ruined him, listened to how he beat himself up until his throat was raw and broken remembering everything he had done.

“Every night since you left has been the absolute worst of my entire life only made worse by the constant reminder that I failed not only you but our precious daughter.”

Your daughter, god he remembered the first time you said she could stay at the tower with him and the entire night he just stared at her looking at your eyes and hoping beyond hope that she turned out exactly like you. He thought about how he started crying when she first said ‘daddy’ and he broke down to his knees in front of her a complete mess and her chubby hands wiped his tears away and he knew she would be exactly like you.

He looked away from you and out the window again.

“I took the blinds from the window down a few weeks after you left. I couldn't get a good night's sleep Steve said I looked like a zombie. That was his way of being nice.” There was a scratchy laugh from him you could tell he wanted to cry but he wouldn't “I looked horrible my hair was a mess knotted together I hadn't showered or eaten in days.”

He thought back to Steve trying to get him to do anything to go for a run, to eat, to come out of his room for longer them 5 minutes. But he just wouldn't, couldn't get himself to care about anything or anyone let alone himself. He felt sick and guilty and not worthy of being around the rest of the team. So he stayed in his dark room and sulked away for weeks until one night Steve had suggested he take the blinds down.

“He said that looking at the stars would calm me down help me an okays night's sleep.” You were still looking at his face as he stared out of the window wondering where this was going.

“I took one look at the stars that night and they reminded me of when you used to smile at me  whenever I would and your eyes would crinkle at the very edge and sparkle just like the stars.”He finally looked backed at you. His eyes were glossy and he sounded like he could just barely breath.

“I love you so much doll.“ He choked out.

“I don't deserve for you to love me back I broke your trust and if you never forgive me again I can't blame you. But i'd really love to try and prove that I can do so much better than before even if that means starting all the way over … well not all the way over you can't put jamie back inside of yo-.”

“Buck!” You giggle out hoping to cut him off.

“Right right. I want to try again for you to give me one last second. Just one and i'll do so much better. For you for Jamie for our family. I love you so much doll and I always will no matter what you decide.” He looked down at his hands for a few beats then decided he need to look at you to see how sincere he was in that moment.

You looked him in the eyes for the first time that night and you believed and trusted him. It scared you to trust him again, to be so ready to believe him again, of course it did and it would take a long time for you to be able to not feel fear when you said you trusted him.

“I love you too.” It's​ whispered into his chest as he crushes you into a hug and you don't wanna leave his embrace not now not ever.

It wasn't gonna be easy road from here on out and you knew that, you knew there would be days when you would remember all he’d put you through and want to leave all over again, knew that there would be times where you got into arguments and you both would bring up the past and say things you didn't mean. You knew that things would never be the same going forward, but you also knew you still really wanted to try again so you would.

The next morning when you wake up, a cold metal arm wrapped around your waist, a scruffy chin buried into your neck and long hair falling against your cheek, you think that there is no way your morning can get any better. Then there’s the sound of the door opening and closing you keep your eyes closed knowing exactly who it is. You feel the ruffling of the bed as she climbs up and over you to squeeze in between yourself and Bucky. You assume she’s just jumping into bed for a cuddle before she asks for her breakfast. So you decide to close your eyes and go back to bed he was more than capable of making her breakfast.

“Daddy?”  

He was used to waking up at the drop a hat. He had to be in case Steve's breathing had suddenly changed when he got sick and Sarah was away at work. When he would have to listen to the feet of his enemies from miles away as a soldier back in the war. Listening for the steady slam of heavy boots on tile floors before he had to be wiped again. So when he heard the door knob turn he was already awake.

“Yes princess?” Then she is climbing into bed over the body that laid in front of him and there's a smile on his face that's at least 5 miles long. You went to sleep where he knew you should have been sleeping since the beginning and soon you'd be waking up where he knew you should be. You were home and he was complete.

“Cuddle?” She says as she not so gently squeezes her body between yours and his and even though he gets elbowed in his stomach and chest he definitely couldn't be happier than now lying with his best girls.