#arav shono'tsag

[infiniteleftdoesffxiv]

Some screenshots of the leezord’s new apartment, featuring @gaillaffxiv and @tamer-of-steeds ! (and other ppl idk the blogs of)

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Family fun time at the beach for Sechen’s Nameday! Featuring her Dad and Cousin, Ilakha.

i may or may not have ended up in tears at the end of it. I’m blaming @gaillaffxiv for it. THIS IS THE THIRD TIME

[infiniteleftdoesffxiv]

By the fading Moonlight

She should've been asleep by now. So why wasn't she? She was exhausted, especially after walking and keeping up cheerful conversation for so long today, so why was it that she laid awake on the makeshift cot?

Because she was an idiot, that's why.

It's been several bells since they got here and settled in for the night. She wanted to sleep, it made sense she should be asleep, but here she was. Middle of the night, in what she called a bed and trying not to cry at the unfairness of it all. Because that'd wake up the other Xaela a few fulms away.

And that wouldn't be fair to him.

So that's how she ended up curled on her side in the dark, staring at the moonlight filtering in through the doorway as the tears threatened to spill over and hit the fabric underneath her head.

She knew it wasn't fair to take it out on her Dad, because he was only trying to give her the best he could, making the best they both could out of the sorry lot they'd been handed in life. She knew she shouldn't be ungrateful, and truthfully, she tried not to be so.

None of that helped the aching she tried to hard to ignore. Logically, she knew there were others who had it far worse. She was lucky to even have a parent at all, and one who cared about her even just the tiniest bit. She had shelter, she was fed and kept clean. She couldn't ask for more.

And yet, she wanted to. And therein lied the reason she watched the sands sweeping outside the door at such an hour.

It was stupid, it was selfish, but wherever she looked dealt some kind of reminder of how different they were to what a normal family should've been.

'Normal' had a loving mother and father.

'Normal' had friends and extended family.

'Normal' meant having a home to go back to at night.

Out of all those things, and this drove Sechen mad, she only had one. She was lucky to even have that, but it truthfully didn't make any of it easier to bear.

She tried so hard to make do with what she had -- it was beyond rude to do otherwise. She couldn't and wouldn't ask for more. But the mantra didn't ease the lingering grief and emptiness she felt, didn't soothe away any of the 'what ifs' or 'if onlys'. If anything, it made the ugliness of those thoughts even more poignant.

She hated it.

She hated them.

Sometimes, she hated him.

Sometimes, she wondered if she hated herself.

Sechen slowly took a deep breath, tensing herself against the shaky and wheezing breaths that threatened to give her away. She couldn't wake him up. This was stupid.

She was stupid.

The Xaela bit down on her lip hard against the new river of tears dripping down her cheek and over her nose. She wanted to cry, to be comforted, to be told that everything was okay. She wanted to curl up in her parent's arms and be safe from the world again. It was selfish, but it hurt her to think about it, and she knew it wouldn't help.

For all the things he was, Arav was no god. What use was there in wishing for what you can't have?

She wanted her mom back. She tried to imagine what she might have looked like, comparing her own face against her father's. She must have gotten her eyes from her, since the clear blue of Arav's couldn't be found in her own bright amber.

Did she have long hair, too? Was it silky and straight? Or did she keep it up like his? Or maybe it was short.

She didn't know, and she couldn't ask.

The woman was dead for crying out loud, and has been for how many summers now? This was stupid, too, but she couldn't shake the shadow of the woman who meant so much to her dad, whom she owed her existence to.

She knew the both of them were hurting. For all he tried to disguise it, Sechen wasn't that dumb and oblivious. She picked up on it. She hurt, he hurt, but it felt too selfish to seek comfort from someone who was in more pain about it than she was.

Neither of them could bring her back.

Sometimes, she hated her, too. Who did she think she was, leaving the both of them here like this? It hurt.

Carefully, she wiped her nose. Sniffling would probably wake him. She grimaced at the snot on her wrist, wiping it off on the floor as quietly as she could. Her dad would've scolded her, but given the choice of it being on her skin or clothes... the floor wasn't supposed to be super clean, anyway.

She wiped the tears away too. Pressing the corner of her poncho against the corners of her eyes dried them as well as they were going to, clearing her vision in a heartbeat. She stared outside, the shadows dancing across the ground as the wind picked up and died in spurts.

Just like the flow of her tears.

She'd endure it. It wasn't fair to do anything but.

Life wasn't fair, and maybe that's what she hated the most.

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1-15 for sechen as well git gud infi

jokes on u bitch i’m ready to develop this baby and try and make as much sense as possible with a character who operates on her own sense of logic

1. What would completely break your character?

Probably losing what’s left of her family. Namely, her dad. Bonus points if she thinks it’s her fault, or she could’ve done something to prevent it.

2. What was the best thing in your character’s life?

Meeting her cousin and discovering her developing passion for crabs, of course! And other wavekin, but mostly crabs! And her cousin.

3. What was the worst thing in your character’s life?

While she doesn’t have any memories of the event, or even truly understands what transpired that day, the worst thing would be the night her father fled the Steppes with her. Having just an idea of what she’d lost, even though she couldn’t possibly recall the Steppes, knowing she’d never get that back is a deeply upsetting topic that she doesn’t like to talk about.

4. What seemingly insignificant memories stuck with your character?

The question here is ‘memories’ so I’m answering with two, both of which have to do with food. Sort of. The first one, the very passive-aggressive (okay not so much super passive, but you get the point) argument between Arav and a Raen woman, the latter of whom had offered to pay for Sechen’s meal. Arav did not take kindly to it, even when Sechen argued that it might be better to shut up and take the gift with grace. She walked away frustraited, but questioning whether it was a burden or not on either one of them.

The second, a similar scenario, is when her cousin offered to pay for both her drink, but snack as well! They’d just met a few days ago, and yet she was startled by the offer. She accepted the drink, of course, but the previous memory made her a bit more adverse to Ilakha paying for both. She caved, though, and ended up having a whole ass dodo leg. It was a good night for them both.

5. Does your character work so they can support their hobbies or use their hobbies as a way of filling up the time they aren’t working?

Sechen doesn’t have work, not just yet. She does, however, makes various keepsakes as a hobby, and sells them for further materials. They’re not top quality, but according to a few Gridanians who’ve bought her tiny creations, they’re charming in their own way.

Her favorites are miniature houses, or furnishings to make a scene. They even come complete with tiny little figures!

6. What is your character reluctant to tell people?

Her lack of knowledge about anything related to the Au Ra peoples, whether Xaela or Raen, is something she finds kind of embarassing, even though she considers herself closer to being an Eorzean than anything else.

7. How does your character feel about sex?

She has a vague idea what it is, and has decided to opt out for as long as possible. Nothing of the sort for the child please

8. How many friends does your character have?

If we’re counting her family, one or two. Depends on the day and how annoyed she is at Arav.

9. How many friends does your character want?

She’s decided that if her dad just accepts one she’d be a happy camper, in all honesty. It’s been rough, but her cousin stands a better chance than the others she’s encountered before.

10. What would your character make a scene in public about?

She would, and probably has, called Arav out on what she perceives as unfair bullshit to other people. Herself? It’s whatever, she’ll yell at him later. Someone else? Uhhhh probably is more inclined to go “the fuck is your problem” out in public.

11. For what would your character give their life?

She’d bring her mom back, if she could.

12. What are your character’s major flaws?

Her biggest flaw, probably, is her lack of thinking things through entirely. She often says things without considering any of the implications, rude or horrifying as they are.

13. What does your character pretend or try to care about?

Sechen doesn’t hide her disinterest in topics often, though smalltalk tends to bore her to death. But she knows ignoring it is frowned upon, so she tries to fake her zeal for talking about the weather outside, and places they traveled.

14. How does the image your character tries to project differ from the image they actually project?

She tries to come off as calmer and more sensible than she really is. She is, however, fully aware of that, and a good chunk of it stems from attempting to both humor her father, and delay the fact she’s growing up. And has to do Responsible things soon enough.

But even with that, she’s still a child with boundless energy, most of which is being directed into crabs. And poetry.

15. What is your character afraid of?

Being alone in a strange place. Despite her rather extensive knowledge on self-defense for someone her age, she can never shake the fear of being alone in unfamiliar territory. It likely stems from the Incident(s) as a child, and her father’s overprotectiveness.

She’s coming to terms with her own mortality, as frightening as it is, but acknowledging Arav’s is entirely unthinkable.

[infiniteleftdoesffxiv]

🔪 for Sechen

Out of all the things she could’ve remembered about that evening, the whistle and “thunk” of an arrow barely missing her shoulder stuck out the worst. Her dad had been occupied with work (again, sigh) so she’d been on her own, not for the first time. She’d been messing with her trinkets when she leaned to the side to pick up her glue brush – and luck would have it, it missed her. The following confrontation felt simultaneously like a blur, and yet very sharp. Sharper still was memory of her father’s face when she told him what had happened.  She knew well enough by then what that look meant, and it still chills her to her bones to this day. Perhaps in time, the memory would fade and the terror forgotten.