#apart from the name I'm incapable of remembering all info we had about him was that he's Russian and has a portwine stain birthmark

[indigo-rants]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

So my papa (grandpa) is doing alright, the hospital staff are hopeful. He's doing great, I sent him a voice-mail since I couldn't seem to reach him before, he apparently heard it today (good) and was happy to hear from me I guess...

My grandmother was the only person I was able to reach today. Tried calling her to reach papa but she wasn't with him. Convo started off fine with her explaining papa's condition, then devolved as she started asking me about how I've been, like if I'm working and/or still living with my mother (I can't live on my own due to my physical and mental health). I explain I don't work nor will I ever be able to (a fact we've all known since I was like 12) and she starts saying "oh things really have changed since we last talked" or something like that.

Apparently!! I'm not "allowed" to be incapable of working as an adult with scoliosis cause... well she didn't really give a reason except that I'd been "better in the past" which... last time we talked? I was in college. I'm a college drop out, that was my one and only year.

She then immediately segwayd into talking about my mom and how she's "caused the divide between all of us" (her, me, my dad/her son, and anyone else in the family she feels like counting). She talked about how my mom has "brainwashed me" into believing they're terrible people and how she's always been a liar and that she only ever wants money from them and how she still remembers the one, count it ONE, time mom asked her for money and how "she knows it was going to be used on her" (mom asked for her credit card/debit card info ONCE cause we needed help getting a hotel set up, she wouldn't have had to pay the hotel just wanted an active card number and name for the hotel room, mom was planning to pay in cash when we got there, also the hotel stay was due to me having surgery 3 days after we'd get there). It's been legit 10 years since the card info issue... TEN YEARS and this woman is throwing it at us like some gotcha.

She also started all the dissing my mom stuff with a "I don't have time for you guys, I have a husband in the hospital I need to take care of" and its like... okay, that's why I've been calling you? To see how he's doing... why bring up petty shit that 1. Doesn't matter and 2. Is just you listening to your shit ass son instead of the people who LIVED THEIR LIVES ALONE DOING ALL THAT. Like she believes her shitty son who shmooses everyone to get money, attention, free shit (houses, cars, jobs he doesn't deserve, got her to help him drop all the child support he owed/over owed).

Like Jesus christ she really does just want to see the worst in us instead of herself or her "precious son" (the man is in his forties).

Shes holding onto the fact mom asked money from her ONCE against us and swears last time we spoke I "called her every bad name in the book" (to note, last time we talked she bad mouthed my mother and I cried and broke down instantly due to the amount of hate for my MOTHER the parent who has cared for me SINCE BIRTH and the fact I was very unwell mentally, I barely would've managed to say "fuck you" or "shut up" much less any actual rude words directed at her person). She's so convinced that my disposition with her is due to my mom when mom is the only reason they've had ANY contact with me, from being able to send me letters, to the fact papa has the ability to "text me" anytime (he has mom's number not mine, but any and every text he sends she shows me).

Also after our little chat (which was maybe 10 minutes mind you) my mom called my birth father. According to her he believes she "coaches me into being disabled" like they apparently believe I'm only this disabled cause she taught me to be??? I was born with scoliosis, have had it my ENTIRE life, I also have a bone degenerative disease (osteoporosis kinda, but mom says she doesn't know if it's that one or a diff one), my bones are literally falling apart slowly. I reached a height of 5'6" and am now 5'3.5" which happened in the span of roughly 10 years (I reached 5'6 after my final back surgery in 2014 and was 5'5 for a while, like til roughly 2021 then I got to the 5'4.5" range til this year being 5'3.5") and yeah that's roughly 3 inches lost.... but it's still slightly concerning. The thing is, they don't know this (assumingly) cause we haven't seen each other since I was 13 or below (13 for father and... well lemme think...I think I was about 12? I can't be too sure, but I know I wasn't a teen)

Also just for the record my birth father in 2013/2014 when I was that age (born 2000) was upset with me for choosing to stay home and go to summer school (he lived across the US from us, we had to drive half way to meet up at this time) and he was so upset with me standing with my decision to spend my first summer away from them (him, step siblings, half sister, and step mom) that he pretended the stress my mom and I were causing him caused him to have a heart attack that put him in the ER (for months he'd talk on the phone with us as if he were weakened from it and was actually in pain). Before you ask, we found out in 2020 that he'd been lying from step mom (well technically ex step mom, they separated in like 2015/2016 so yeah) she was confused when mom mentioned the heart attack and told her "no he didn't have anything going on then" he told his ex wife and 14ish yr old child that WE had caused him to have a heart attack that caused him to be in the hospital's care for a while (currently my memory of that year is rather blank, which is "fun"). And then later on when we were in and out the hospital discussing another scoliosis surgery (the final one) we had called him every appointment, he discussed what was happening with the doctors DIRECTLY, but told his mother when asked "I don't know what she's talking about, I haven't been told about any surgeries".

And they wonder why I haven't talked with or visited either of them in 10 years....

[mist-the-wannabe-linguist]

When you have a character whose name you can't remember for the life of you so you just call him Gorbachev