#anywho I promise this isn't about me overworking myself

[bleaksqueak]

I'm glad that almost all of the pages done while that back injury was still making my life a painful and sleepless/restless hell have been mostly posted now. Thre's some stuff I didn't like how the initial drawing came out for that, in a normal situation, would have just been a (quick fix), but I was so uncomfortable/in pain and slowed down to such an absolute snail that every single thing became a "Well that's good enough"

Anywho, back injuries really Suck. Going forward, due to how much time I lost with said back injury and another "out of my control" event that set me back during my buffer's run, I'm likely going to adjust the coloring technique on Soli. The coloring technique I've been using, when not injured and not being blindsided by a majorly stressful event, is one I chose due to it being a comfortable, quick painting style that I'd use for concept work. It's the style I work in most naturally and fast since for many things I'd just forgo the drawing stage at all, but it does require me being able to work without pain or without numerous unplanned interruptions. So, with my buffer practically gone and having lost a year to Snail Mode on the waves of that back injury, I'm going to likely adjust things to a looser version. As in, "there's a imddle point when I'm working where I enjoy how things look. In order to catch back up to where I was and want to be, I think I'm going to just use that stage to my advantage." Did I say back injuries suck? They really suck. Grateful that it's finally better now, but shaking my fist at the damage it did and all the other little instances butting infront of me and getting in my way. The ol' "CAN THINGS STOP HAPPENING??" plea lol. Anyway this is just a ramble serving as a heads up for "chapter 3 may look a little different, because the number 1 way to make sure I'll circumvent something's bullshit is to Make it Happen Anyway and I've got catching up to do."

[oreomonsterhunter]

Hey babe ,idk how you're doing rn but I hope that you're doing well and that the world isn't removing your enthusiasm for the beauty in everything, please don't overwork yourself and remember you have all the time to do all the things so you can take your sweet time doing them and enjoying them.🧡🧡🧡💛🧡 Stay forever in awe 🧡🧡💛💛

I’m SO SORRY IT TOOK ME AN AGE TO ANSWER THIS but I somehow lost the notification and then life happens and now here we are ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Thank you for checking in on me, love!! It warmed my heart to read this message, and I’m glad you’re not upset with me disappearing so much nowadays. But like. Seoul. I won’t lie and say that I’m prioritizing social media, but I’m doing my best to stay connected with all of my friends, and it just so happens that a ton of you are here! So thank you for sticking around, I promise I’m not going anywhere!!

(This is about to get so long omg I’m sorry)

I’m happy to say that I’m still blown away by the smallest things. The dollar store, for one. And grapefruit soju. And finding corn on my pizza and somehow not hating it.

I’ll also say that not everything is roses all the time, but that’s just real life. I mean just today, some university kid approached me on the street and wanted to be study buddy friends and I turned him down. And for five minutes, I beat myself up over it while I walked home.  Because last week, I might have said yes.

Two days ago, I was followed by a total stranger.  Fret not, nothing bad happened!  It was the first time that’s happened to me (that I know of) and tbh, it was a wake-up call.  I always think the best of people, but it’s important to trust your gut, and remember that not everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt.  If you feel ick, you need to believe that feeling.  And don’t get upset at yourself for it later.

After I said no to the kid today (he’s an adult, who am I kidding), I started questioning myself.  Had I let my negative experience color my judgement too much?  Was I being overly cautious?  Paranoid?  Rude?

By the end of the five minute walk, I decided I was quite reasonable.  I was alone on a quiet side street when he chose to approach me.  The only bystanders were a handful of older men busy working, more likely to take his side than mine in any kind of altercation if we’re being frank.  So even though he seemed relatively harmless, my gut said that he shouldn’t have approached me where he did, or how he did.  An innocent request would be acceptable on the busy street twenty feet away, wouldn’t it?

Plus, in Korea, it’s basically unheard of for men to approach women they don’t know.  You just...don’t do that.   So approaching a foreigner is like saying “you’re not Korean so I can treat you differently” and also “I don’t respect you the same way I respect Koreans”.

Even now, I think he may have been entirely innocent.  He’s probably the university student he says he is, and is simply looking for a conversation partner to share languages with.  But I’m also justified in my response.  And I cannot—and will not—let myself stew in regrets and second-guessing.  Even if I do think that three days ago, I wouldn’t have questioned anything at all.  Better safe than sorry :)

Anywho, I’m sorry for the huge long rant, but you got me thinking.  And I wanted to share some of this, in case anyone has had similar experiences.  I’m a very honest person, so it feels good to say this somewhere.  I might just post that story from this weekend.  It’s a two-for-one: happy Saturday and stalker Sunday!!  Idk maybe no one will read it, but I think I’ll feel lighter.